To Find Your Confidence, Become the Little Mermaid with Halle Bailey

You got to sing a little bit for me. Oh my goodness. Well, if you ask, I will. I guess, where should I start? Maybe the verse. So it goes, Sometimes the simplest words Are the hardest to say And I know we're speaking the same language But I need someone to translate Because I'm scared of losing you And losing me too I pray all these changes Don't change us I need you This episode is brought to you by Theraflu. Hello. Craig, I haven't seen you in a minute. I know. We've been, you've been really busy. Yeah. But we both have been. Because the book is out. I've been touring the book. I was trying to think, why have I been so busy? But yeah, I've been a little busy. You've been a little busy. How are you doing? Are you taking care of your health? I am. You know, I just, I took a later flight because I had a physical yesterday, my yearly physical. Everything good? Everything is great. That's good. And you know, I thought I hurt my knee. Uh-huh. And you're just old. Oh, I'm just getting old. I came down the stairs wrong and I thought I blew out my knee. It was so sore. And I've been putting off going to see the doctor. And I went in and he said, you got to lay down. And when he said that, I was like, oh man, he's going to yank this thing around and I'm going to be in pain. But he yanked it around and everything was fine. He sent me to get an x-ray. No problem. Just old man stuff. Just old man arthritis. Are you keeping up with working out? Are you eating properly? Yes. Eating properly, working out now that it's cold back at home for me, it's a lot of indoor working out. But I'm doing a lot more coaching, a lot more standing. So Aaron's with me on this trip. He's our, you know, he's our number one intern. Although Aaron, you're just sitting over there. I want to see you with a pad and paper or something. Take notes. There you go. There you go. He's our number one intern. Yeah. Well, you know. Can't wait for the summer. Maybe we can get him a full summer internship. I know. He's really, but he's a great travel companion. Yeah. You know, we had some trials and tribulations and he just went with the flow And now I've got a partner in crime when I'm staying at my Airbnb. Yeah, yeah. Now you can use the other room. I can use some of the other rooms. When you're in a house with eight rooms. Yes, yes. But we decided to get something closer. So you're in a city home. So we're in a city home. On a neighborhood block. It's sort of a neighborhood block. It's in the hills a little bit, but houses are right next to each other. And they're not as big and very practical. So it's really nice to be able to walk around the neighborhood and explore. Have you walked around? Oh, you just got here. We just got here. But in this nice weather, we are planning to walk around. Well, that's good. Yeah. Airbnb always takes care of business. I'm excited today, boy. We've got. Well, I feel like, you know, our guest today, I feel like she's truly one of my children because we met them early on in their career, Chloe and Hallie. But I'm so excited to have her on. Why don't you do a proper introduction? I am because, you know, she's a listener to IMO. So she's very excited to be here. And I'm very excited to do a proper introduction. And Hallie is a Grammy-nominated singer and rising film star who first broke out as one half of the group that you talked about, Chloe and Halle, before launching a critically acclaimed solo career with songs like Angel and Back and Forth. She stunned global audiences as Ariel in Disney's The Little Mermaid. This year, Halle will star in Universal's romantic comedy You, Me, and Tuscany arriving April 10th, which I am doing romance. Grown folks romance. Grown folks romance. I gotta hear about that. You kissing somebody? Reggae Jean Paul is in that movie. Oh, you're kissing him? Okay, we're gonna hear all about that. Let's bring out Allie and stop teasing her. Come on out. Tell me. Hi, everybody. How are you? So nice to see you. Thank you for being so excited. Our home. Hi. Hi. How's it going? It's going good. I'm so happy to see you again. I am so happy. Do you remember our first meeting? Because you've done so much since that. How could I not remember that? Do you remember that? Coming to the White House? Of course. That was so much fun. Yeah. That was literally like one of our huge staple moments where we were like, We're going to the White House and we're going to be in front of Barack and Michelle and Mr. and Mrs. Obama. Like, this is a really big deal. We were so nervous. And I think the day before we were shooting, I think it was our music video, Drop. And we were so stressed out the night before. What do we wear? What do we wear? We got to look right. And yeah, it's so funny when we look back at those pictures. We're like, we should have worn something better than that. It was like, oh my gosh, it was like pattern, flannel, like it was just a lot going on. But it was the Easter egg roll. Yeah. It was a casual event. It was a lot of young people outside on the South Lawn. So you couldn't have shown up in gowns. Yeah, right. That wouldn't have flown. Yeah. And we did our own hair and makeup. And then we forgot our earrings. We were like, the morning of, we were like, oh my gosh, what are we going to do? but it was so, it was such an honor to meet you guys. And we just remember how warm you were to us. And we were like, this is so special. Like a memory we will never forget. It was a great one. Yeah. And you have come a long, long way. Thank you. I mean, now I want to catch up because you brought the baby. I did. Yes. Your little man. You're a mommy. I am. He is gorgeous. Thank you. How's it going? How do you feel? It's going so good. It's like so crazy because I have never loved anything like this in the world. Isn't that a thing they don't tell you? Yeah. Like I did not know it was going to be this intense, like deep love. And seeing him discover things for the first time or like hear a certain song for the first time and watching him like react is like so amazing to me. Because I'm like, this is art. Seeing how he's affected by art at such a young age and seeing what he gravitates towards naturally is something so special and beautiful. And it's funny because in the South, I think they say, you know, if you have a sister and you're really close with your sister, you end up having like your sister's child. And my sister and my baby are like so similar. They look just alike and they are both like very musically inclined. Like I feel like he's like a little genius like Chloe was. Like I've seen Chloe be the whole time and it's just, it's really cool to see. I was watching or reading about you talking about just being pregnant and what, you know, just how that, the connection starts there as mothers. I mean, you were talking about how fascinating our bodies are. Yes. And just sort of talk about that a bit because I felt the same way. I mean, I felt the power of what a woman's body can do. When you actually feel a child growing in you and like that connection and what you have to go through to like the birth, the birth process and everything. It's like, you're very close. You're like teetering life and death. Like it's a very sacred thing that's happening that women go through to deliver a baby. And I don't know, I think I just, it was just like an epiphany. Like I was like, wow, like I just thought about all the women in my family and was like how I got here. I'm like, I just feel more appreciative of the women around me, the women who've raised me. Because it's so much that they've gone through and it's powerful. well, women are just amazing creatures and beings. And you guys are amazing too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know how to do it without you. Exactly. That was nice of you. But yeah, it was just, it was fascinating. And it really inspired me creatively too. And it came to my art and my songwriting and I just felt, you know, different. I felt stronger. And like I truly was a mama bear with a voice. that I wasn't afraid to use. So, yeah. You said Mama Bear. It made me think of this because I'm just going off of what you said. I remember having this sort of edge to me about like I was very leery of what was going on around him and how I approached the world. Are you feeling that? Absolutely. Do you feel like you're a different person because of Halo? Absolutely. Like I talk about how now I'm like more stronger. I use my voice more. I'm not afraid to speak up. Whereas before, I think I've become accustomed to, especially in this industry, you know, you're used to just smiling and being people pleasing and like, okay, sure, whatever you say. But when it came to him, I was like, no, like I have this urge to speak up for him. And that was something that was really different than the old me. because it was a bit more timid. And yeah, so I would definitely say there's always an edge, like a new edge for sure. And you're learning a balance that a lot of people, a lot of women, a lot of mothers are still struggling with. How are you making it all happen? What's been some of the best parts about it and the most challenging parts at your age too? Yeah, I think especially at my age, I'm just really trying to learn like how I can be the best version of myself so I'm a better mom for him the big standout this year for me is like when I'm working like when I'm on a film set what it means to me to be able to bring my child with me to be able to you know travel the world allow him to see the world too you know I'm sure he'll remember some of it right now because he's almost two but I have like so many pictures And basically the advice that I've been getting from a lot of the women in my life is until he's in school, which is like two and a half, three, and do what you can to bring him everywhere with you. I completely agree. Yeah, I think it was so many, especially so many influential women who are in this industry who do what I do. I've just been watching and learning and especially Ms. B. She is the queen at finding that work balance and how important it is that we are these maternal figures. But we're also keeping our own life, like our own gumption, our own passions and still not forgetting that. I think that's a balance that I'm working out because I still have so much that I want to achieve. and I want to do it so that for him, and we have a better life and I want to bring him with me everywhere for now until school. So I have a little like half a year left. I mean, I was terrified of the notion of taking my kids out of their comfortable environment and moving to the White House and putting them through that at as young as seven and 10. Yes. But it was okay, you know, And there was so much growth from those experiences. So I found, and I wouldn't have said this when they were little, that they can move and hang with you. I think middle school, I found that it wasn't really until middle school that the girls, you know, they wanted their own lives and their own timing. They didn't want to be pulled out of their worlds to follow us around. Yes. But up until then, they were on the campaign trail with us. They were in vans and in hotel rooms and they had each other. But it didn't make them spoiled. It made them more outgoing, more poised. So there's a lot that they can gain for a longer period of time with the experiences that you're going to be providing them. Yeah. Wow, that's so beautiful. That makes me think of, too, when touring with my sister when we were young. It was fun and we were doing our school on the road, but you're right. We were able to adapt and it was okay. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you brought that up because I want to hear about that. And I want to know. Your upbringing. Your upbringing. and at what point and what age did you say, okay, I want to be a star, an actor, a whatever. I want to hear about that because see, I read about you putting on these little shows when you were a little Now Misha and I did that Really Yeah she a star for another reason We used to think we were the Jackson 5 when we were younger So I want to know, what age were you? Did you sort of think, oh yeah, this is what I want to do? You know, well, I always say this too. I'm the baby sister. So a lot of what I did, I was just copying Chloe. I want to be with her. Yes. Yes. Like, you know, with your daughters, it's- You're going to keep up. Exactly. You're not leaving me behind. You are not leaving me behind, girl. I am following whatever you're doing. So we grew up in Atlanta, Georgia, and our parents always played like really great music, like Jill Scott and Erykah Badu and Outkast. You know, just growing up in Atlanta, you're surrounded by amazing music. And so at a young age, we knew that we loved music. But my sister was the one who started to be like, uh, uh, oh, I'm a performer. And then I was like, oh, really? Okay. Uh, uh, ba-da-ba-bo. And then we're like, okay, we're doing this together. So then, you know, our parents saw us and we're like, okay. And my really big memory that I have is we went to Spelman Summer Camp, which was such a fun summer camp. And there was like a talent show. We were singing Summertime by Nina Simone and like matching outfits. And that was like our first real performance. I was five and Chloe was seven. And from there, we kind of realized, oh, we could do this. Thanks to our friends at SHIPP for sponsoring this episode. With Shipt same-day delivery, I never worry about how I'm going to get my shopping done for a few reasons. With Shipt, you can order same-day delivery on everything you need. Groceries, decor, gifts, and so much more from many of your favorite stores like Safeway, Albertsons, Michael's, Target, and PetSmart, as well as local favorites exclusive to your area. 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And that's what made it special, I think, though, too, because we didn't really know what we were doing. We were just having fun and it felt good. And from there is kind of when things started to, you know, build up for us. And people would always say, I should like do YouTube covers. Because that was, it was the time of Justin Bieber, like really big on YouTube. And all these people were getting discovered off of that. And we were like, okay. And how old were you then? That had been like 10 and 12 or something like that. And my sister Sky helped us record our first cover to Best Thing I Never Had by Beyonce. And we just recorded it and posted it. And from there, kind of built a following. So talk about that song, Allie. Because, I mean, so your parents had the foresight to know, okay, my kids have a special talent. And we want to give them the opportunity to be as good as they can. How did that discussion go? Did they sit you down or did they just say, oh, we're moving to California? It was a very important thing that our family knew that we were supported in what we wanted to do. And being somewhere like California, there would be better opportunities. And I think at that point was when we started doing things with Disney. Like from there, when we did NBT, that is actually, I think, what brought us out to California. because they had like a finale there. Wait, NBT? It's Next Big Thing. It's like a Disney American Idol. Yeah, got it. Wow. Tell us a bit about your mom and dad. I had the pleasure of meeting them, I think a couple of times because we also did some things later on. Yeah. But talk a bit about your parents because it takes a special kind of mom and dad to keep your feet to the ground as you soar. Yeah, my parents are from South Carolina, actually. My mom was a military brat, so she kind of lived all over the world. And my dad was from South Carolina and they met at Clemson. And that was kind of how they fell in love and then moved to Atlanta and had us. But yeah, they always were very strong influences in our art, our artistry, our songwriting, Especially my dad sat us down at a young age, taught us basic song structure and how to write a song. So where was, what did he do in music? Was he just talented? He was just a talented writer. So is my older sister, Sky. Like, I think, well, music has such a big impact on all of us, but smart brains, like my dad, my sister, my brother, they're all super like very math and science brains, but also creative. I think I'm more so just creative. I'm not really good at science. That's okay. Yeah. I'm not either. Right. But that's how it started. And then from there, Chloe and I really just, we kind of worked together to build our experience. And, you know, my sister especially, she has always been so tech savvy. And from a young age, she was producing like everything. She learned how to make her own beats. She taught herself piano. I taught myself guitar. And, you know, we were kind of on a routine of like, this is what we're going to do. And from there, just kind of grew, I guess. Did you ever have any formal training or you were completely self-taught? We had formal vocal lessons in Atlanta. But like our instrumentation, we were self-taught. And everything else, we were self-taught. like recording ourselves. And it was easy for Chloe because she's like, you know, she went to a magnet school. She just picks up music is math in a way and you pick up certain things very easily. And so I kind of was just the writer and there and we just built off of our chemistry there. But it really is special. I mean, I feel like with my sister, I just was blessed that I had her because honestly, I don't think that I would have, you know, even ventured as far into this world as I did if it wasn't for her. Now that you're a parent, are you more mindful of what your parents did to sustain that unity? Yes. Wow. What have you learned? Yeah, absolutely. I think, especially when you become a parent, it's like the sunglasses are on now. Everything looks different. And the fact that they were able to sustain and help us with our dreams and put things in front of us that said, okay, this is going to get you far and she's going to gravitate towards this. It's something that I'm trying to do with my baby is put it in front of them, see what they gravitate towards, and then kind of harness that energy and try to help build it in whatever way you can. And I definitely think that if we didn't have that, we wouldn't have been where we are today. Absolutely. You remind me of Misha in the way that you've just been able to be normal as a star. Thank you. And was there anything, did you all sit at the kitchen table, like regular folks? Did you play games? What were some of your rituals? What were some of the rituals you had growing up? My family were very faith-based. So that was also another thing that we were constantly reminded of was to whom much is given, much is expected. And when God gives you a gift, you're supposed to do whatever you can to give it back in some way and do good with it. And that was kind of a theme that we had always, like I still hear in my head. And it's also just a really good anchor to hold on to, especially when things feel in this industry like, you know, a little rocky. You're up and down. You never know. People love you one day, don't like you so much the next. And yeah, we would do like karaoke nights. Yeah, a lot of fun game nights. We had a swimming pool. We would always swim in the back in Atlanta. That would be like our safe place. We would play mermaids, me and Chloe. And yeah, it was, yeah. So now you guys have entered the business. You've been signed by Beyonce, which I know you've talked a lot about what that felt like, just otherworldly. But it's a tough business. When did you feel the difference, right? I mean, when did it start feeling like, okay, we're having fun in the basement and doing something we love and now, and we're succeeding. Yeah. When did you think you hit your first reality bump? And what was it? What was it about the business that made you say, oh, okay, there's more to it than just the glory of sharing our gift? Mermaid for me was like a whole different trajectory. I was introduced to so many, like a different side of the world that I never even knew would know my name. And so with that, I think it started to feel like, oh my gosh, this is a lot. I was very grateful for it, but it definitely, that was kind of a shock of how much people suddenly cared about your name or how much they expressed that they don't care or they don't think you're a good fit, it suddenly became like, whoa, I didn't think people would care this much. And that was a moment where I think I had to just ground myself when I was hearing all the conversation about my casting and things like that, which was very, it was just different for me at the time because I was used to being shielded with my sister, At least in my sister, she'll tell you herself like she's like she does not play about me She's like yeah, yeah, the one who's always there to be like Not not like she puts things in place for us And so with that it was the first time I was kind of on my own and having to use my own voice and Shield myself from certain things But also realize how great of an opportunity this was but also everything that came with it was like a it was a shock So I think that moment for me was definitely the whole mermaid experience. And just so the listeners, assuming that everybody knows what we're talking about, I mean, you had the honor and the privilege of being cast as Ariel. And the backlash that came from it. I mean, it's Disney. It's a big project. It was one of the televised versions of Little Mermaid. And the fact that you, as a young, beautiful Black girl, was cast at what some would say was supposed to be a white role, created a level of debate, and you're trapped in the middle of it because all you're doing is accepting a part that seemed fun and interesting, and you related to The Little Mermaid. How did you all talk about it in your family? How did you and Chloe talk about what you were hearing and what you felt? Yeah, I think it was really special to talk to my grandparents about it because especially my grandpa, I mean. What did he say? He's a veteran. He makes us call him Grandpa Colonel. Like he's a veteran. And he was in the, you know, he's one of the first black pioneers. He was in the Air Force and he's colonel. So one of the first black colonels. So that's like his pride and joy. So when this all happened, he was like, you know, see, look, look at where you come from. You know? And, you know, I think. He's like, you thought all these people loved you. Yeah. Now, real Oak says, so Grandpa Colonel was a truth teller. Yeah, he's a truth teller. So he wasn't like, come sit on my lap. He's like, you better wake up. Exactly. The world isn't just singing and dancing. Yes. And I think especially them, I mean, they've seen so much, their generation. And then to see it kind of pour through. And this generation was something that was really interesting to talk about with him. And I think it's important in Black families, like certain things are just Black history. Like, Mrs. Obama, you are Black history. And these are just things that you just will speak about and you want to remind your children of. And you want them to remember these people because it's like this is taking us forward as a community. and I think they were just reminding me of that and saying how all the young Black girls and boys of this generation, their version of mermaid is me as Little Mermaid and that really makes me emotional even to this day when I think about it. I know that some people, our generation and older, sometimes we say the younger generation takes the freedoms that they have for granted. Because you guys didn't live through, or even now, are you learning about that history in schools? I mean, there are people actively working to try to erase that history. So it could come as a shock. I could see Grandpa Colonel going, yeah, this is what we've been talking about all along. And you didn't experience it because you benefited from the struggle of people like your grandparents. I love the fact that your grandfather put it in context. Do you feel like your generation? I mean, that there's some truth to that? Absolutely. There is still a lot of division and things that we need to work on. But I'm hopeful about, especially my baby's generation. I feel like, well, hopefully it won't be as much of a thing with him. But it's really special to see. And I live here in California. So, yeah, I don't know. I feel like we have a long way to go still, but I'm feeling more hopeful for sure. Well, it takes work. Yes. You know, I think that that's one of the things Grandpa Colonel and I would probably agree with. It's like it doesn't just happen on its own. And that's what I want to make sure your generation understands is that, you know, So now that you're a parent, you realize that everything you're doing is really not for you. Yeah. Right? And I think you, your sister, you guys are of that generation to remind your peers that this stuff doesn't just come because we deserve it. Right? It comes because we work for it. Yes. 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Can you talk a little bit about that process and how you came about that decision? Yeah. Well, I always say I'm the baby sister. Me too. Yeah. And I think when you're reliant on your siblings, it takes like a push. Like somebody has to push you and be like, okay, you can do it on your own. You can fly, bird, fly. and that's what my sister was for me but it wasn't until I had to move to London to go film all of that uh all of mermaids um that was the first time we were ever separated away from each other in our whole life so and we both talked about how we had separation anxiety without one another and I felt like I didn't have my arm like not being with my sister and living in different places and that I felt like was my college experience in a way. From there is how I feel I've gained my independence and my voice. But I feel if it wasn't for that, me and my sister both talked about it. We needed that. It wasn't for that. We probably would have still been joined at the hip. Yeah. How would you describe your stylistic differences? Not just musically, but who is Hallie? Who is Chloe. Yeah. So I'm very like, I'm very blunt. Like when I'm around my people, I'm very honest. People are always surprised. They're like, wow, Hallie, you've got some fire. I'm like, I am a fire. See there? And I don't know where that's a youngest thing. Oh, here we go. And Sasha is kind of like that too. Sasha straight no chaser. Yes, she is. That's how I am now. I feel like it took me a minute to build to that and now, oh my gosh, my sister's almost like 28. I feel like she is just fire on team. She's water sun. She's just a cancer. So she's so sensitive, loving. When's her birthday? July 1st. Okay, she, Malia's cancer, July 4th. Oh, wow. Sasha Gemini. Oh, I love that. I'm Gemini Moon, I think. Wow. That's so funny. Wow. We should have you back when we do a show just on Horoscope. Please, I would love to. I think it's so cool. I want to talk about your movie. Yes. You, Me, and Tuscany. Oh, yeah, it is. Did you start cooking because of the movie? Did you have to train? Well, not necessarily. Because I always cooked before then. But for the movie, I actually took classes and stuff. And I think it did ignite more of a cooking spark in me. So by the time, excuse me, by the time I went home, I was like, oh, I really got this now. But Italy was beautiful. I actually went away earlier this year to film this movie called You, Me and Tuscany. And it's this black rom-com with Universal. Which I'm really excited about. And my co-star, Regé, is amazing. And I watched him on Bridgerton. I loved him in that. And it's produced by Will Packer. And it was my first time working with a woman director, Kat Cairo, who's amazing. And it's a fun, feel-good movie. Like, I've never… I mean, I've been a part of feel-good things. But this, like, felt the most just sweet and fun and joyful. Like, a joyful film that you can watch and just be happy. So, you play a chef. Yes. I play a chef. My character's name is Anna. and a little bit of her backstory is that her mother actually is like an amazing chef, had worked at a Michelin star restaurant and she was kind of following in her mother's footsteps until her mother passes away and she kind of just loses her whole life meaning and kind of gives up whenever she gives up on culinary school. She just gives up on everything and just decides to just be a house sitter and is just kind of, you know, getting by because she's, you know, consumed by her missing her mother and not really knowing how to continue on. And it's a very sweet story. It's very fun. It sounds like it. I hope I didn't just give it all away. No, no, I think. And we won't spoil it. When, where is it? Is it streaming? Is it in theaters? When's it coming out? It'll be in theaters April 10th. Okay. So it's springtime. Yeah. Yeah, springtime. I'm really excited. Well, congratulations on the film. I can't wait to see it. It's right up my alley. Thank you. Yay. It's not up my alley, but I'm going to see it. I am going to see it. Thank you. We know we have a listener question that we want to have you chime in on. I'm a first-time mom. I had a little boy in September. I'm a high school music teacher, and I took this year off, mostly unpaid, to be with my son. I want to know what advice do you have for a mom returning to work? maintaining my career, maintaining my relationship, and being a mom. In this moment, it feels like it will be impossible to do it all. Oh, wow. We're going to ask the little grandmother. Because now you're not an old lady. Now you're a grandmother. You should never have told her that. See, that's what the youngest does. They've been beat up so much. She's like me. I love it. Oh, my God. When they find something, they are going to dig in. I love it. It's so true though, I am. But hi, Abigail. Thank you so much for your question. Man, it's really, it's a lot of parts to it, I think. One, I would say is to a certain level, it's going to be hard, especially if you've been, you know, you've been amazing and brave to take this year and just spend it with your baby and how special it is for him to have a mom who is so committed to wanting to be there for him. And also know that you are so worthy and that you absolutely deserve your chance to continue to flourish in your career and do the thing that feeds your spirit most of all, because that's what's going to make you a better mom for your baby is harnessing your dreams and goals and not forgetting about those pieces of yourself. As you take on, you're taking on so much in motherhood and teaching other children. That's really cool. She said she's a music teacher. Like, you're incredible. She's who you would have been had you. Yeah. Oh my God. That's so true. Like, I wish, yeah, that would have been so cool. But just know that you are supported and you are doing more than enough and you are incredible and make sure that when you do go back, you have somebody very close that you trust and love to like constantly, like for me, constantly sending me updates, what he's doing, what's going on. Like, I just need that as a mom. You just, you can rest in knowing that your child is okay and he's having fun on the weekends with his dad. He's having a great time with the people that I trust and constantly people showing me that he's good. He's good, Hallie. Do your thing. He's good. You're okay. You're fine. You can do this and be strong for him because you're doing this ultimately for him. So I would say just be proud of yourself is what I would say most of all. Yeah. Well, I talk about this a lot with young staff who have just had kids because that is the dilemma. You don't know how you're going to feel until that baby shows up. You can have whatever plan you had. I'm going to stay at work. I'm going to go home. And until you get through it and you get through all the things that come with being a new mother like postpartum I mean you talked about your experience with postpartum No one you don know what that going to feel like and how to get through that. So I'd first say, give yourself a minute to just right-size yourself. And how old is the baby now? A year. I mean, like our maternity leave policy is ridiculous if you have to follow one, because most of it is three months, four months. I mean, that doesn't even give a woman's body time to fully heal. Even if you've had a natural childbirth, let alone let your hormones stabilize, because your body is still saying, I am feeding this child, literally breastfeeding. So your hormones are telling you to do one thing, and the societal structure is telling you to do something else. It's not supporting the mother in the way, you know, what her biological needs are. And I think we first have to understand that that is actually going on. You know, we don't live in a society that fully respects and values childbirth. Like we want people to have them, don't have an abortion, but, you know, we're not really thinking about how do we create an environment for all women to be able to heal, be focused, and then make the decisions at the right time about when they're ready to move on. So I think we have to be honest that the system doesn't work for us. And so what she's feeling is real because the support systems aren't really there. So in the midst of it, I'd say too, we have to be a little more forgiving of ourselves and understand that you don't get it all at the same time. So that may mean, okay, if you really choose to go back to work, because that's something you can do, and some people don't have a choice, they have to, right? That you might not be able to go back in your 100% mode, right? And if you're a 100%er, which I imagine you are, I know I am, the frustration comes with I'm not giving my all to this career, or the feeling that I'm not giving my all to this wonderful baby because half of my day is divided, right? So the conflict internally is that I'm failing all the time because I'm not doing everything at 100%. I think we have to tell ourselves that really sometimes 40% is okay. Sometimes 30% is okay. Sometimes 70% is okay, right? Because we talked about this earlier. The children are way more resilient than we give them credit for. They're not going to stop loving us because we leave the house and go do a job. It doesn't work that way. They aren't going to be broken if mom has a passion that she wants to pursue. But it's hard to know that when your baby's one. because you think that everything you do. It feels like the world is ending everything. Exactly, exactly. And it's not until they grow up and you realize that they're okay, that really in the end, if they have a lot of love and all that love doesn't even have to come from mom. The beauty that we learned is that the more people who love our kids, the more people they're exposed to that, of course, are safe and are kind, that is a benefit to them. They don't just need mom, right? They need to know mom plus so many other people because we can't give our kids everything, no matter what. We're different from our kids. Sometimes they need somebody that's got a different edge to them because maybe you're a math brain and your kid is a creative brain and they can't relate to you all the time. You may be driving your baby crazy. They may want someone else with a different temperament, with a different flair. And that doesn't mean they'll love you less. That means they'll get more of what they need. And I think we have to tell ourselves as moms that of course we want to find safe partnerships and communities for them. We have to do the work to create those. But we're not meant to do this alone. Yeah, there's no way you can. It's impossible. We're not meant to be our children's everything. And so then that leaves us time to focus on the things that we love. And as I say, when they leave you, they're not looking back. They're not asking, are you okay now that I'm all whole? You know, they just leave. And you better have something to do with yourself when they're gone. What would you say, little boy Craig? Listen, I wouldn't say much more than what the two of you have said. But you have to, as a dad, have you struggled with the balance? So it is a different, I get a different leeway than women do as a man, right? We're expected to drop everything and go back to work. And what I was going to share with Abigail is that even for me, when I was working in the NBA and I'm traveling all over the place and leaving home for weeks at a time, I was feeling that way. And guys are supposed to be like, uh-uh, off to the slay the dragon. and it is really hard. And if I had it to do all over again, the question I asked you, one of the things I would do is I'd get off that treadmill a lot earlier and spend the time with my kids like I'm doing now. Because Craig's had two sets of kids. So I've got two older kids that are 33 and 29 and then 15 and 13. and when I was coaching when I had my older two, so I didn't get a chance to coach them in sports. I could sometimes attend. I was so busy that I missed out on a lot of what they were doing. So I would just tell Abigail, be careful rushing back. Just, you know, you don't have to rush back. And to Misha's point about 70% is okay. You know, changing up for a minute is okay too because you can always get back on the treadmill, in my opinion. You can get back on the treadmill anytime. But these years go by quickly. Yes. And that's the advice that I would tell you with Halo. Before you know it, he's going to be 13. Oh my goodness. And he's going to be giving you sort of the side kiss and hug. Yeah. I see it with the boys. With my wife, they're like, all right, we'll see you, pa, see you. Oh, you're hugging me too much. So get all that loving in now. Now. Abigail. But it's okay to do a little bit of both. It's okay. It's okay. The kids will be fine, from what I can tell. That's a cute boy. He is a sweetie. And he's very well-adjusted. He got to meet Sonny. He was very, Sonny's here today. I want to ask before we go, I just want to give you a chance to talk about your music, too. I mean, you, you know, you're doing it. I mean, your voice, you know, both of you, but individually, I mean, your voices are angelic. Thank you. And your writing is just always powerful, you know. Talk about this album, how you feel about it. Are you excited about it? What are you excited about? Yeah. So this project actually was my first solo album. You know, I've done three other albums with my sister and that was, you know, you feel so great, but you're like, you're, you have help because my sister's right there. We're in it together. So this one was definitely my own journey. And I call it my diary entries. And I think when you have something like music, and you're able to just throw yourself into feeling and not caring about opinions or what people have to say and just being true to yourself and your heart and being vulnerable, like your diary entries, like everyone is listening to, it's like a book. in a way. And this album that I did this year is called Love or Something Like It. Yeah, and I really wanted to detail the journey of what it feels like to be in love and if it was love and when you come out of it the things that you remember You gotta sing a little bit for me. Oh my goodness! Well, if you ask, I will. I guess, hmm, where should I start? Maybe the verse. So it goes, sometimes the simplest words are the hardest to say. And I know we're speaking the same language, but I need someone to translate because I'm scared of losing you and losing me too. I pray all these changes Don't change us I need you Yeah, that's like a little bit of it. Oh my gosh, thanks. Are you touring? Are you going to be out there? Yeah, I'm going to tour. I'm going to tour sometime next year, which I'm really excited about. Oh my gosh. Just playing some of the songs. And yeah, it's been cool. I'm going to be there. I'm going to find you. Thank you. You are just, okay, you're not a little old lady. But you are a precious, amazing woman. Thank you. And it's been fun being on this side of the experience, watching you grow. And I hope you're proud of yourself. Thank you. I just want to, I want, while you're here with listeners, what message do you have? Sorry, that just made me emotional. That's why we good thing we have the tissue. Yeah, that's so good. Sorry. But it's so true. It's so true. And I know after this year, becoming a new mom, I mean, so much adjustment. Yeah. But you were doing it. Thank you. Because you got a whole little man out there that is clearly loved and nurtured. And you've been through some ups and downs. And I'd love for you to share just words of wisdom to young people that are going through some hard times, experiencing the not so good side of social media. And what would you tell them about getting through? And it's a constant process, but you've pushed through some stuff. Yeah. What would you tell? Thank you. Man, I definitely would say the first thing is to ground yourself and realize, ask yourself, why are you here? What are you here for? Why did God put you here on this earth? And what ways can you just do good with what you've been given is where I start whenever I start to feel discouraged or, you know, just clouded from the industry, which you could sometimes, you know, gets exhausting. And then I remind myself, like, for me, a big thing is I have to take breaks from social media. Like, I just have to get it out of my face. I have to admit it. I have to just go on. I call them like little cleanses for yourself. Because, I mean, you just forget like real life, what it is to go out and be in some grass and lay in the sun and not have your phone to distract you. What it feels like to hike up that mountain without having to post about it and be like, look at me. Not needing the validation from the outside world in order to feel complete. I think is something that I, is a theme that I'm learning. It's internal work. Yeah, absolutely. In a time when we're looking for so much external validation, the secret is that the work is really, it's one-on-one, it's you and you. And that never changes. Yeah. I'm still doing it. And I'm 60, you know, the same. You look amazing. Thank you. Oh my goodness. Thank you. He's older. Everybody thinks she's older than me. No what? No way. See, say that again. It's because she's iconic, you know? Like, they think she's older. It's because I'm wise. Yeah, yeah. But thank you for sharing that. you