Looking For Daddy

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Because my lower torso is very thin, and I saw a photo of myself. And my jeans are very baggy. No. No. Let's try it. Let's see what happens. Buddy Bobby. What a little thin jeans, skinny jeans. What do they call them? People have done this before. Fats have tied this before in their life, Bobby. It almost made me spit my body brain out in your face. I just gave fats have tried this before. Do you think I would have gotten testosterone boost through my eyes? Fats have tried this before. The fats have tried this many times before, Bobby. Yeah, yeah. I'm telling you, it never works out. The skinny jean fat guy. You have to be thin up top. You have to be so thin up top. Right. So I got to wait. Like a Lewis build would work better in skinny. They would look terrible on them. They do. He has skinny jeans and it looks like he has birthing hips. Yeah. But because, but the thing is like. He literally turns into like a big Mexican woman. But he's not, but he's not what me and you become, Bobby. He's like the rock's mom. What me and you become is a meatball on toothpicks. You're like, I'm gonna score you a coin. You got what I'm saying? Lewis can come like a melting thing of ice cream, but me and you look like fucking it's bad. What is that though? That looks pretty good there, right, Jay? It's AI. Oh, it's AI. All right, well. Just said it's AI. God damn it, I didn't see that. And those aren't even skinny jeans for sure. Yeah, I don't want to look like a meatball on toothpicks. But there was a guy. I don't want to look like an adorv. Whoa, we used to follow on the show years ago before the Paul brothers went, became respected members of sports entertainment. They really are. They are. Before that, when they were just a crew of shitheads in a house, I think probably date raping their girlfriends. Probably, probably dating. Probably, some sort. And messing with sacred Japanese ground. Yes, and also probably trying gay stuff with each other. All this stuff you think. They had an influencer house that they all lived in. Which we should get, by the way. We should get one of their friends in that. If you could bring up, what's the team 10 video? It's every day, bro. If you watch this video, this is Jake Paul and them when they thought they were little rappers at their influencer house. You'll see the guy who you become quick. And you remember this, Jacob? I said I named the guy. I called this guy. I said this guy's name is Guy's Weight Up. Because you could see. You said, yeah, go ahead. Play it. Play the video. Give him a little taste. Get to work nighttime outside in the video. You could jump ahead. Once it's the nighttime. The little two shithead twins that used to cry. Yeah, the crying shithead twins. Oh, God. And you're about to see him. There he is, Bobby. Oh, there he is. There he is. You don't want to be that guy. You don't want to be Guy's Weight Up. Look at him. He has to stand by teenage boys. And point at them. Yeah, it sucks. He still has to wear a jacket though to hide that side fat. Absolutely. Look how far his shirt's coming out from his pants. This guy, you're going to try to get me to believe, just came out of that fucking Lamborghini Coontosh. I doubt it. I doubt it. I don't see scuff marks on the wheel wells because that's what would happen if he got in that. So funny that this would, if me and you tried to pull something like that, it would be the end of our career. What do you mean? They did it. Is that true? He's also segregated. Let's get an influence house. Oh, an influence house. I was like, we could definitely make a rap video. Let's get it in a bad neighborhood though. Like in Newark. Buy like a, and just have the outside be shitty, but the inside be sick. Hear me out. Yeah. If we pool our money together. Yes. We together can be like an influencer. Yeah. Like to get, I can't get a fucking Lamborghini with fucking like Nickelodeon paint all over it. I can't, you can't. Nope. Together I think we can. We could get a used Lamborghini. It's not going to be used. We have to go new. You have to go, we have to get a custom job, the whole thing, but we got to do it together. Like I said, we'll get a new one. Yeah. What about two used ones? That's not every day, bro. They're renting Lamborghinis. Yeah, they rent all this. They're all renting. Yeah, we just rented for the video. For the video. Yeah, we're not going to, well, we can't drive it. First of all, there'd be a fantastic video of me and you in skinny jeans and a Lamborghini Q-intosh is really funny. Trying to get out. Oh my God. We're like sardines. We'd have to have like helpers get us out and in the car. We need the Jaws of life to get us out of the car without an accident. We need this. Yeah, guys. I knew I had a feeling I shouldn't close the door when I sat down, but I did anyway. I fucked up. I knew I should not close the door, but I did close the door. We'd have to get those, you know, the little cranes at the pools for the crippled people. We'd have to one of those at our house just to get us in and out of the car. Absolutely. I got a guy's Lamborghini outside of Nashville's Aynes. And I sat and he goes, when we take you around the block, I went, no. Yeah. And he was like, no, you don't want to see if I go, no, no, no, no, I go, because I'm not, I'm going to feel guilty. The first minor bump we hit and my side of the car drags your muffler off. You're gonna go, oh, speed bump. I'm gonna go. Fuck, that was probably me, dude. I feel like that was on my side. That's like it was right under me, if I'm being honest. If I'm being completely honest, I think it's right. I feel like going to Home Depot, putting cement in the back of your truck. Yeah. It's everyday, bro. I don't like those cars, but I hate Lamborghinis, all those little fast little shit cars. I hate them. They're the most uncomfortable ride. Yeah, I thought you were gonna say ugly, but there's not. No. They're so beautiful and cool looking, but I have no, and I understand the Josh, Adam Myers, Jacob being like, yo, I'm super in like exotic sport car ideas because you'll look cool in them because it's around you. If I got any sports car, I feel like I'm gonna look like, like it's gonna seem like one of those old cars, you know where there is no windshield, you're just sitting out of it like a gentleman. Yeah, you gotta look like McGillagorilla. Driving gloves and maybe a driving scarf. And we have some leather goggles over my eyes when I drive it. Yeah. That's how I feel I'm gonna look at it. Hey, Jay, how are you? I keep the crank in the back of the engine. You have to have a blanket over your lap like Jacob in the studio. So I don't catch diphtheria. I've never got into one of these cars. I remember Dane had the James Bond, Aston Martin, and I got, I hate it, I hated getting it. Every, just driving that, he's like, vroom, your head would snap. Two seats, it was loud, obnoxious, it would pop it, like you stop signs and it sucked getting in and out. It was not comfortable, it was fucking annoying. If I was rich, I would get a Rolls Royce and I'd get a driver. I'd rather pay a driver to get me like a Mybeck, a Mercedes or something. Maybach. Yeah, Maybach. Is it Maybach? Yeah, that, where I could sit in the back seat in luxury, go to sleep. Is it Maybach involved in 15 different kinds of cars though? I've heard people say Maybach, like versions. Oh, they sponsor certain cars, like an Eddie Bauer edition of a car, they have a Maybach version of a car. It was like a Maybach Mercedes, right? Yes, Maybach is Mercedes, but they have like, yes. I do, I would like, if I could get any of these little shitty cars, the Corvette Stingray. The old one? The old one, I do like that car. Corvette Stingray, like a, did he really? Which dad? A biological dad. A biological dad? Yeah, yeah. A step dad. That was in lieu of birthday presents. My step dad, the one that used to hit me, that was his dream car. Still right. He had the Monte Carlo SS with the spoke wheels, and he used to make me wash the car with him, that was like my treat, and then I'd get a ride, fuck it. And he was like, someday I'm gonna, if I, because of you guys, I can't get my Corvette, he used to blame me and my sister. Is it because of the two of you? 100%, he was right, I mean he was speaking. You guys were fucking bleeding him dry of cash. I mean we were expensive to have kids that aren't yours. They're right there. I'd hit you too. Oh, look at that thing. Yeah, my dad had one of those. This is a shark, love it. Not gonna expect 18,000, jay buy that for me. Okay. Get it. 76, good looking parts. Hope that, hope those, by the way, it's not in great condition. Here's the thing with these cars, not that fast, some of them. They're not really, Really? No, they just, they look like, you know, it's like one of those Mustangs, they were just cool looking. My buddy John has always had a Corvette in his adult life would be his like car and he's the one that's in the military. Yeah. And it's just so like, it really is, it goes along with the mentality of like military as well. Do you know what I mean? It's like I wanna pull up in a fucking Corvette, an American made muscle car, and then, you know, getting in my fucking Apache helicopter, but it's such an American thing. Anytime you see a Corvette on the road, look in the car, you're gonna see a guy that looks just like me driving it. Yeah. Gray beard, bald. Well, not this, not my buddy John, he's a, he was all, I mean, now he's my age, he's two years older than me. Most guys that get those car are dudes like me. At some point, they get an extra 20. Yeah. And you just go buy one of these. I saw one guy, dude, I almost fucking pulled over and beat him up. He had driver's gloves on. Yeah, perfect. I was like, you fucking piece of shit. Oh, you're mad at him cause you don't have a Leather Smith? All right. You're in the middle lane on a highway doing 55 and you're wearing driver's gloves? You fucking loser, your wife sucks. And maybe a cap? Maybe a nice cap on his head? I will get one of those, I will get one of those Corvettes before I die. Even if it's for a year, just to have it. Yeah. Well, I wanna get it because that fucking piece of shit that used to beat me got it. He wound up getting one, it made me very happy that he was too fat to fit in it, he had to sell it. He got too fat, but I would like to get one just because that was his thing. He blamed me for not being able to get this stupid car and I would like to just get it and have it. Are you gonna tell him? Yeah, I'm gonna go to his house. I'm gonna actually give it to him. What's the point of getting the spite thing if it's not gonna settle anything in your mind? It's not gonna settle thing, but it will actually make me feel good that I get it. That I worked at hard, I have a kid, I have a family and I got it. It's all worthless. Yeah, it is all worthless. All those things you're saying is completely worthless to get to what you're trying to do with it. Sometimes you're gonna have fun with worthless stories if you just go with them. No, no, no. You can kill this dream or you could be part of it and buy it for me so I can live this dream out. I'll buy it for you. Thank you. If you use it, Bobby, you're talking a bunch of fucking Nancy nonsense. I'm talking about taking it out there. You almost spit my body cream. All right, what are you doing today? An exact revenge. You take the fucking stingray and you go to his house, you drive through his fucking, you drive through his front window, you drive through his porch. And then fucking teabag him. Teabag him, do a burnout, fucking French kisses, new wife. Yeah. Suck his dick. Suck his dick a little bit. Suck his dick. Tell him like, why wouldn't you molest me? Would you rather have him hit you or suck his dick? I'd rather get hit. I'd rather get hit than get my dick sucked by him. Really, get your dick sucked by him? Would you rather get hit or have you suck his dick? Hang on one minute. That's where I was going with it. Let me take the him out. That was very specific. I hear what you're saying. I would rather get hit than get molested. Yeah, 100%. Always. By anybody. No. Yes. No. I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to. You'd rather get viciously beat than molested by a woman? I, well, you talking a woman? Well, you said by anyone, you said. I meant any man. Any man? Any man I'd rather get hit. At least you got some, you know, you get a little hardened from it. It helped me out later in life. Well, you're gonna get hard either way. That's true. You know what? Let me recant that. Jacob, stop it. Why, what would you rather? You'd rather get molested than hit? No, I guess I'd rather get hit. Did you ever get hit? You ever get beat? No, never beat. Did you ever get molested? No. Come on. No. No one molested you? No. That's so sad. I was right there for it too. Daddy issues, looking for it out there. I step-pop could have wailed on my ass if he wanted to. But you know what? Too much of a pussy. That sucks, man. I'm sorry you never got molested. You hear that, Joe? If you're out there listening, you were too much of a pussy to molest me. I wouldn't have said nothing. I wouldn't even look weird at you across the table when we were having dinner or anything. I would just been like, I would just put it away. I would tuck the deep away. You've been practicing getting molested since you were a little kid. That's what tummy time's all about. You're still waiting for that guy to come in and stick it in your butt in the hotel room. Tummy time, wide open. Sometimes in a, this is a little confession session here, sometimes in a hotel room, midday, I'll just fucking poo bear it completely. Dicking balls, no. Just waist down. Shirt on. Shirt on. Dicking balls out, legs wide. Really letting my ass home ball back breathe. Just waiting for one of your dads to come in. Maybe. Just a job that he never did. Maybe. That sucks. Looking for daddy. So sad. I should get that tattooed around my asshole, looking for daddy. It'll stay above my asshole, looking. And then F, R on either side. So my asshole's the O. Looking for daddy around the bottom of the circle. That's a fucking great tattoo. I wanna draw it before I forget it. Was there any woman out there that would get that tattoo? Jacob, you ever get molested? God damn, are you sure? You have molestation vibes. Lou, black people don't molest, right? Oh, they do. They do. But I have not, no. Yeah, didn't you ever see Precious? They totally do. They molested, I never saw the movie. They molested the big girl. Her mom was molesting her. Molesting the fat one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was making her eat her pussy. Oh man. It was pretty crazy. Well, thank God it wasn't either way around. What do you mean? If she made the mom eat her pussy, she said, mom's like, I wanna eat your pussy now. Well, the mom was Monique, so either way you're getting a pretty fat ugly pussy. That's a good point. You have to lift something up to get to it. Lou, you ever get molested? No, boring. Yeah, me neither. Bobby, you did get molested, didn't you? And you're dying to tell us. I did. Who was he? That wasn't he. And do you still send him birthday cards? I do, but we send funny ones. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, you're over now, you're adults, it's fine. Yeah, last year I actually dressed up like I dressed up the day he molested me. Oh. And I was like, hey, I just said hey, remember this? Happy birthday, it's our birthday. Oh my God, Bobby. I said this home on the molestation day. This is going to be all the rage of a tattoo. Please take this, inspect it, and tell me if you think this, that more than one person will ever get this. Now, if you could describe please, what you see. Well, it is a firm bubbly buttocks, I gotta get credit on that. It's gorgeous. It's bending over. Bending over, nice little pud, not too full, not too small, not too big. Well, it's from behind, so you see it's ball bag in the foreground. Jacob, you'll notice I put the ball bag in the foreground and the dick coming from behind it. I'm dying to see this. You'll see. It's great, but you also, what you did do, you put an uneven seam, which I do like. I put the seam going a little sideways. And also if you notice, you are seeing the underside of a dick helmet. Yeah, you got the helmet, and you got the seam, and the seam is nice because if one ball is bigger than the other, which balls are? Well, it's the way he's sitting. One's hanging a little lower, which I do appreciate. And then you go right to the hole, there's a hole, an asshole, with, I mean, the attention to detail, he put the little wrinkles around the asshole. I mean, wouldn't be an asshole if it didn't have a little wrinkles. Some guys might just put the hole, but that's not an asshole. Now, it's stupid. You have the little wrinkles. I wish you just had an asshole jetting out of flat skin. It's impossible in that way. And then you have the, above the asshole wrinkles, which I do appreciate, not in the wrinkles, above the wrinkles, looking with a capital L, not all capitals, which I think would be too much. Did I not do all capitals? I thought I did. It should all be capitals if I made a mistake. Well, it looks like little O's and a little, no, it is all capitals here. You got, but the little O's, you might've made a little bigger, I'm sorry. I like it with the big L. I like it. Okay. And then capital F on the left side of the shrink though. Capital right on the right side of the balloon knot. And then underneath, D-A, D-D-Y. Just the accuracy where the lettering is placed is gorgeous. Looking for daddy. If you see it one more second, Bobby. I would maybe make the F and the R a little bigger to match the asshole. Maybe make the asshole like a big O. Well, I think the big problem what I'm doing here is I gotta make like some hand. Hand holding it open. That's holding the asshole. Why would his asshole be so taut? You know what I mean? Put a little crease up at the top to show the asshole separation, maybe. Maybe. The asshole separation? Up the top, just a little line, like that, you know what I mean? I mean, just, I mean, look, creatively you do what you want. You're the artist, I'm just saying. You're just thinking a little more line. Just a little line up at the top just to show me this is. The cheeks are opening here. Cheeks are opening. Maybe a little up the bottom too, I think. Maybe a little bit. Maybe a little seam, yes sir. Sorry, are you wearing a Kelly Clarkson t-shirt that just says Kelly, Kelly, Kelly? Mrs. Kelly Kelly. No, it says, I would never do that. It's Mrs. Kelly Kelly, because that's her name. That will be her name someday. When we get her in here, it's called Mrs. Kelly Kelly. So, if you say it, if you see it, you can have it. You understand how that works? I'm putting it in the universe that someday, maybe we might not get married, but we will have some type of affair. Some type of, I want a dalliance with Kelly Clarkson. She takes your last name, it's more than a dalliance. This is just, I have to put it out there like as much as I can to get something. You understand? You don't get what you want, you get what you need. Thank God you don't get what you deserve, right Lou? Come on guys. Yeah, this is my shirt. I love it. T-shirt Kevin. Oh, she looks so happy as Mrs. Kelly Kelly. She loves being Mrs. Kelly. Yeah, unlike my wife who fucking has a face like she smells shit but she doesn't know where it is. Pretty much all the time. Sure, fine. When she comes in, Bobby, how would you like us as producers to big you up? I want you to just say, I don't want you to, I don't want it to go crazy. I just want you to say that there's one of the hosts of the show. One of the hosts of the show has been a fan of yours forever, thinks you're one of the best singers on the planet and is really just loves everything you do and this means so much to him that you're coming in. But you have to describe me. You have to say, it's the bald one. I don't want to come in and think it's Jay for a second. Okay. You know what I mean? And then when Jay says some snarky mart about her pussies and it tips me into small. Come on. You know what I mean? You might, you might do it. Not the way I behave. But you're always trying to get the funny. And I want you to like present it like that. Don't go overboard because I don't want to fucking scare her. Make some basic fixes. You may, first of all, make basic fixes. You put your face in it, which is great. Yeah. I between the legs, you know, I'm bending over completely. And you made an oh face like, oh, put it in here, dad. Well, I'm looking for daddy. You made a little, little more crease up at the top. So now it's spread open and you also gave a little, little two creases on the bottom. A little bit of low back, a little bit of under butt. Yeah. And you put, which I love, you put the hands in there. You put muffin fingers. Yeah. Muppet hands. I had to go quick. I'm not good with hands. Yeah. Yeah, you're really not. You're great with an asshole though. I tell you that. And you put a little of the back in there. A little bit, yeah. Put a little back in there, which I appreciate. And you put boots on. You put Tim's. Yeah, nice little Tim's and some socks. You gave it Tim's. Some thick socks and Tim's. Little socks and Tim's. And you gave a little crease behind the knees, which I like. And you gave you little juicy calves in there. Yeah. I mean, at this point I'd suck my own dick. It seems like I'm right there, but Bobby, I'll be honest, trust me, that's a perspective thing. Yeah, it is a perspective. It looks like the dick's right there, but I assure you it's not. Yeah, I think this is ready. I think this is ready for prime time. This is ready. Jacob, Jacob's our executive producer. He has to approve all photographs. Jacob, thoughts? Now Jacob, I don't know if you heard Bobby, but you'll notice that the asshole is the O and four in looking for daddy. Oh. Now did you want the O to be bigger for the effect than the F and the R? I think it, well, I think an Aureo Speedwagon font style, it's gonna be, yeah, the word four is gonna be a little bigger font than looking in daddy. Well, the F is a little smaller than the O. The F and the R a little. It's gonna be, well, it does that to the funny, yeah. I might darken that up a little bit, make it a little bigger to match the O. I love the scrotum stitching. Oh, the scrotum, first of all, the seam in the ball bag. The scrotum seam. People forget the seam in a ball bag all the time. Not me, that's where God shows you up like a builder bear. That's right, that's your Frankenstein. Fantastic. I could never draw that like that. Luke, can we put that out there for the fans to help the judge? Don't be true, don't be, don't say that. I can't, I just don't have your talent. Bobby, you can draw really well too. Yeah, but what I found out with Jay is Jay is a secret artist. Jay could have done another career. When you guys were drawing that, what's the trick, the woman with a cock? Ooh, you almost had it, ooh, you almost said it. Oh, oh, rose. Emily. Emma Rose. Emma Rose, not that I follow her on Twitter. I mean, your, Well, Bobby calls her Emily because he's gotten close. Your portraits were fantastic. I call her Emmy, Emmy dog. Yeah, she had a nice body. Yeah, that's her, she is, goddamn she is. She's guessing my fingers now so much. Very pretty girl. Bobby, I didn't do the fingers because I drew the ass. It's all right, you need a thumb in there. Thumbs wouldn't be. Well, no, the thumbs would be on the other side. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just putting it like this, so the proportions are right. It's just the. An artist knows when to stop Jay also. I know, I know. You can go too much. I know, but right now what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna, it's gonna look already better, Bobby, and you'll admit this, it's gonna look already better because what I'm doing is the lines that I'm having a problem with, I'm now turning into, I'm spreading my ass wearing my signature knuckle gloves. Can I say, this is the, this'll never be approved, but it should be, this is the Christmas poster. Should be. Why wouldn't it be approved? Yes, the suits. Bobby, now, can you, oh, no, I don't have any, I don't have any hair on my balls. This is the greatest, this would be the greatest Christmas poster ever. Yeah. You could all be underneath him, like presents under a tree. Sure, exactly. Yeah, this would be perfect. Now we're thinking about it. I wanna say first. Now, this is the kind of brainstorming I like that we do. I'll send this to Big Jim, but I don't know. The Mittens, you solved the problem, because I did, I didn't wanna say it, I had a problem with the line going through. It's like, it's like. It's a problem with drawing and pen, you can't make any mistakes. True, but the fact that you made the F and the R darker, because when I took design in college, because I was, you know, I was gonna be an artist, our teacher, and what you want them to look at first. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You want them to go right to that asshole and go, what is that? And then go. Well, you go, oh, the asshole, there's something tattooed on the asshole. Exactly, design-wise, this is perfect now. Yeah. Because we're gonna see four, you're gonna see the asshole, and then you're gonna go right to looking for daddy. Jacob last looks before I darken this thing up and we get it out there in the net. I really, I kinda. Any other notes, Bobby? Real quick. Hmm. At AJ Bell, we believe every customer deserves brilliant service, which is just one reason we're rated excellent on Trust Pilot, and we all trust pilots with their smooth, captain-y voices that make you feel like you'd let them land anywhere they like. Sorry, where was I? Right, AJ Bell, rated excellent by sexy pilots. I mean trust pilot. I'm a flight risk. AJ Bell, feel good investing. The value of your investments can go up or down. I mean, yeah, no, I don't, I think it's perfect. Okay. I think you nailed it, Jacob. I think you nailed it. I mean, the Mittens, you made it personal. Yeah. The Mittens and the Boots made it personal. It's definitely you, it was, shall I say, you looked naked before. Yeah. Yeah, this is you. No, you're you. It's me. No, you're you. Let me darken that up a little bit, Jacob, there. Get this over there in black loose, we can get this out to the people. Is there any way that you could? Get black loose and it's from his personal account and confuse his family? I don't know, maybe. Maybe. Should send that to your dad. My father? Well, see what he says. Why don't you send it to my dad? I haven't talked to him in a long time. Okay, all right. Let's see, knees, a little, you know, I feel a little more muscularity in my calf, maybe. You have muscular calves. Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, your calf is a little thin at the ankle and then it goes to pure ball of muscle. Yeah, yeah, I gotta get that. You gotta get that in. You gotta get a little line behind the calf too, yeah? Yeah, I gotta take the calf in a little bit. Don't you have a calf tattoo? Is there any tattoo, other tattoo you could throw on them? Fuck, I do have a calf tattoo on this one. Which is that one? Which would be this one. Let me do that real quick. Yeah. Simple one. Just a little, little something, right? Just a. What's the thing, it's a. Yeah. It's great, it's beautiful. And if somebody does wind up getting this, you get to come into the studio whatever you want. But we have. If somebody gets this, not the tattoo of the whole picture, but you do that. No. I gotta get you to take this everything the rest of my life. If you get a picture of me spreading my asshole tattooed on you. Well. But if you get the tattoo that says looking for daddy tattooed around your asshole the way I have shown. Yeah, you get to come in the studio. Guy or girl. Yeah, preferably guy. Well, the guy's funnier for sure. Guy is hilarious. Look at that bottom helmet, man. I really did a good job with that. That is the underneath of the helmet, no doubt. Is there a little thing you could put in there just to. Put some little hairs on my legs. I'm not perfect. Yeah, why don't you. Yes, but on the helmet, could you add a little dot at the top so we know. You didn't know he did. I didn't see that. I always put a little dent for a pee hole. Yeah, little pee hole. When's wrong with dick guys, no matter what perspective. Yes. Is everybody listening? Yes. Lou, please. Oh, hello? Lou. Lou, Lou. The artist is talking. You want listening? I need you to listen and look at me. I'm sorry. Eye contact is hard for me. When drawing a penis, Lou, no matter what perspective you're looking, you always gotta do a little indentation for the pee hole. That's just how dicks work, my man. Okay? Everybody got it? Yeah. Okay, good. That was my first time seeing it. Oh, I'm sorry, Lou. Let me send this over to you. Now that we're all darkened up. Yeah, Lou might have a little perspective that we're not. Lou, you know what? I'm sorry, Lou's, let me send us around the horn here. Anybody think there was something we could make better on this, better, worse? If you sign that, I would frame that. Okay. In my home, but in my home. Done. I say we make prints of it, and we raise money for charity for kids who are molested. Oh, with looking for daddy tattoos in their assholes? Well, we just, yeah, all the money we make off of the prints, we send to a charity for people that were molested. We start our own charity. Here's how we get tax exemption. We start our own charity, and what we do is our charity is to get molested kids who are now just gone in the world, looking for a way to make more money in the streets, getting fucked for drugs, looking for, we'll pay, we pay for your looking for daddy asshole tattoo. Tattoo, right. That doesn't come out of your pocket. No, we take care of that. You get it. That's not a petty cash. And six weeks of aftercare, whether it be vitamin E ointment and things like that you might need for sure. Or some type of, type of drugs. Black little thoughts? You know, the drawing is beautiful. I would like to add just a couple of things, if possible. Okay. I think it's lacking a little bit of texture. In the scrotum and penis area, as far as veins and a little wrinkle. He's right there. I mean, there is no vein in the penis. I wouldn't go crazy though. There is vein in the penis. Is there? There wasn't vein in the penis when I saw it. Oh no, no, there wasn't one. He's saying there should be. That's what I'm saying, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't go, you don't want to make it, right now it's an adorable little pud. I loved your scrotum. It's a great scrotum. You don't want to make it into a cock. No, no, no, no. Because then we're going to be offended. I'm not, I'm not. Just a little bit. I think I did what he was asking. Well, magnificent. Thank you. Yes. It took a little nothing. Okay, I'm just saying. Aggressive. DJ Lou, you probably got a lot of thoughts on that penis. What do you think of it? Oh, I like whether you've added just there. Yeah. Makes it more lifelike. Can I see it? Not offensive. Can I see it? I want to see the, the, wow, that really is. Black Lou, you know what? And you added a little, you added a little texture to the nuts. Which is really, I mean, those are nuts now. I can see the nuts. It's a tight set. It's a tight set. It's, yeah. Wow. That little vein, the little tiny vein was great. And a little hair on the back of the legs. And you added the, and you made the, I mean, this is, I mean, almost perfect. That's a poster. Yeah, poster. There we go. The little, never. Oh, it's, let's let. Why can't we do this, man? Let's let Jacob get this out to the people. Or let's let Jacob get his last looks. Anything like me to add, Jacob? You're a real cutie, patootie. Thank you. I like the tattoo you added on your ankle. Yeah, yeah. I didn't notice that. My tattoo, I have that tattoo. Well, you know, somebody just walked in and I think she'd like to see this. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, this is great. It's photo realistic. I wouldn't add any more, Jay. I think you've reached. I would say this too, if you're gonna get the whole tattoo, it should be on your belly button. And make the asshole your belly button. Oh. Yeah. I see we've done there. And Bobby, a warmth came over. I don't know how to describe what just happened. Did you see it? You saw it happen. I did. I had like a, you think we should change my work and then I went, no, he's right. If the whole, just the dad looking for daddy part on your asshole, but if it's the whole thing. If you're just gonna get looking for daddy on your asshole. If you wanna get a tattoo of me spreading my asshole to show you that my asshole says looking for daddy, the asshole on me should be your belly button. Christine, any notes you'd like to give before we put this out to the world? I have a new tattoo idea, where someone will get looking for daddy tattooed around their asshole, with their asshole being the O and the word for. It's better easier to look at it. I heard, I didn't see. No notes. Thank you. Now, can I just ask, since you've seen this. My asshole tattoo? This perspective. No, she hasn't seen it since I got the tattoo. Not the tattoo, but you've seen him in this perspective, probably at one point. I really don't think I have. How accurate is this? I can't think of. Let's take a piecemeal. Maybe you haven't seen this exact. You've seen his calves, you've seen his legs, you've seen him naked. I am acquainted with the full picture. He hasn't presented like this. You've seen his, you've never seen his butthole? I'm sure she's seen my butthole. I mean, it's pretty accurate, right? It's beautiful. Wow, there you go. That's coming from a person who's been there. I mean, been there. This is great. Are you signing your name or your artist name? Like your artist version? Ooh. I mean, you gotta have an artist. You can't sign your check name on there. This is artist J. Yeah, what do I do? I would say. It's a real flourish to it, right? I would say a B, a J, and something else. Oh, the BJO? I would say BJ and then maybe a oak underneath. BJ oak. Oh yeah, the mighty oak. The mighty, to attach the artist, the mighty oak. What's an oak look like? An oak? I did the BJO. I don't know what an oak looks like. An oak tree? Yeah. It looks like a tree. It's very majestic. It's very majestic. Wow. Oh nice, so just a tree, got it. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah, pretty awesome. Well, that's a, that's some Southern horseshit oak. You don't want that. You don't want a racist oak. BJO. Blackloo? Yes. Hot off the presses, get set to the people. We're gonna be raffling that off. If you've been molested, call in. Yeah. Call in. If you've been molested and you think, or if you think you're willing to get, see this is what, full disclosure, everybody listening right now. Last week we were giving away self-holcano tickets and I said we should give it to the first person who gets an asshole tattoo. And then they were like, Sal's not really his brand. And I was like, isn't it? And then I was like, I guess you're right. Yeah, it's not. So then I had to find a way to reintroduce asshole tattoo routines. Yeah, and now you have. Now if you get this tattoo and show it to me, you will definitely get free tickets to my shows. Free tickets to my shows. If you get this out. For sure. That 100%, if you get this, if you get the full tattoo using the belly button as the J's asshole, I mean, you can come in studio. I get, if you get it on your asshole, looking for daddy, you come in studio and take it to the show. I mean, you're gonna get a lot of stuff. Oh yeah. I think if you get the entire tattoo of me spreading my asshole, your belly button being the asshole, you might be third Mike of the show. I mean, if you send a video of your daddy actually molesting you, and then, I mean, third Mike is definitely yours. I say third Mike at least for like a month trial period if you send us video evidence of you being aggressively molested by your father. Now by the way, this contest is 18 and over. So at this point, you want it. You're asking for it. The mental gymnastics, the mind control has worked. Now you're coming back for it on your own. Has to be 18 and over. It can't be a 12 year old. Has to be 18 and over. But I'm not gonna call it molesting unless they did get you when you were younger. And we need some type of like, you can block out your license now, but we need to know that you guys are related. It has to say his name, last name. We have to, it can't just be a guy you're dating. Saying it's your daddy. Or you can just take a picture of your asshole with the looking for daddy tattoo on it. You could do that. But I would also need to see a little bit of footage of the tattoo being done because, wait, you just get some. Bobby, I can right now take a Sharpie marker and right looking for your asshole and your ass and make people think it's a tattoo. You just get one made on the internet. You can get any tattoo made and stick it on there with some water. Fucking looking for daddy right there. Water soluble. We want you in a back room of a tattoo parlor and we want to hear volume up. Cause that's gonna hurt. That's gonna hurt. Asshole? I mean, the inside of your arm hurts. Never mind your asshole. That's a very sensitive part. That's a taint period. It's gonna be very, it's very like soft. Yeah, well unless you've been treating it wrong, then it's rough. Or treating it right. Or treating it man right. That's the way you look at it. Yes, Black Blue? I didn't see this before. You've got a great ass on this photo. Thank you. Well, that's the farcical part. That's called the creative license. That's artistic liberties. Yeah, that's it. Creative license. Yeah, but that's fine. We don't, it's fine. I like to see myself bent. I'm thinking bent over. Little it's gonna, if I bend over, my ass is tight. It can't not be, you're bent over. But it's not. It doesn't have a round. It's not as bubbly as it is. It's not, I mean that's pretty much a loose ass on Jay's body. Essentially, if I bend over and spread my ass cheeks like that, my back to ass ratio hits at about a 90 degree angle. And yeah, I mean this tattoo is made. The tangential line would be the same as both sides. This tattoo isn't made for me and Jay's asshole. This is made for like DJ Lou's asshole. That's the asshole this is made for. Like it goes away. But the problem is it's gonna be like two pucks tummy tattoos. Like he's gonna have to really, you're gonna have to spread his asshole and then shine a phone light in there to see the tattoo. It's gonna be too dark. Yeah, but how green is that? He's already black and he's got a black person's asshole. It's gotta be so dark down there. If it was on our asshole, you could see it all the time. All the time. Yeah, it's just gonna be there. No, no, no. My asshole's behind cheek, I believe. A little bit. No, if I walked around right now, ass out, you wouldn't see hole. You could bend over a little bit and it would pop out. I mean, DJ Lou's asshole, you'd have to, that's a surprise waiting to happen. DJ Lou's asshole is way too deep in there, dude. Deep in the surface like an earthworm. Yeah, if you open that up though and that pops out, how, whatever. He has the real estate for that tattoo. It's nice. You deserve your asshole, Lou. Too pale for a tattoo, I don't think it's gonna work for me. No, let me just fucking motorboat it, dude. Let me just get in there and fucking bfff your asshole. Yeah, it's for science. No. Why? God damn it, you never do anything for the show. Does anybody do anything for the show? I don't think so. My girlfriend called for us dibs. You have to get behind her online. She sucks your asshole? She wants to, but she cannot. Why? I don't know, it's gay. It's not gay to get your asshole sucked by your girlfriend. I don't like it. I don't even like a bidet. How do you know that you don't like it? Does your bidet have a tongue? Oh, shit. This is gonna be the secret of the show. We find out Lou's had a looking for daddy tattoo on his asshole. Had the whole time. He goes, I don't wanna talk about it. Stay away from my asshole, lady. I've always contended that I hate ass play. Why? But you haven't tried it ever. How do you know? Cause I don't like anything about it. Well, how do you know? Cause when I wipe, I don't get turned on. That's not, nobody gets turned on when they wipe. You guys do. No, no, but think about that feeling. All right, I do, but whatever. Bobby does. I do a little bit. Think about that feeling though. Cause I wipe like this with my finger and I push it in. It's not about things going in your ass. Cause you're exactly, you're right. When you're wiping your ass, it doesn't turn you on. Don't think about that. Think about the time you took a real long log. And as it was getting to the end and it was thinning out, you said that you almost audibly went, oh. Yeah. Think about that. That's what it feels like every time something's pulled out of your asshole. Yeah. Think about it going in. It's not about the in. It's about the out. The out. Yeah. The in is gay. The out is ecstasy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's my motto. And the only reason I call it asshole finger is because it's weird to call it a turd simulator. Christine, give me a good old fashioned turd simulator. That doesn't sound right to anybody. No. Like get this thing out of me. Ooh. Ooh. Oh. Yeah, you go. Oh my God, yep. All right, pull it out. Anytime you see ass sex in a video, it's always ow, ow, fff. Ooh. On the out. Your shoulders. Your shoulders a drop. Yeah, dude. Grab your legs over your head. There's so many more fun things to do. Like what? Regular sex. All right. Name 12 other things. Yeah, go ahead. 12 other. 12. 12 positions, ready? Yeah, go. Missionary. Boom. Doggy. Boom. From the side. Okay. 69. Okay, that's right there. You're already not fucking now. You're right there. I know, there's a lot to it. Okay, 69, now go. I don't know that many. That's four. I don't do a lot. But I don't know that many, wasn't a fourth. Use three. Go down on her. There was missionary, there was side, there was doggy. Oh, doggy style and side. And there was 69. Well, she's on top. That's four. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl. Well, you're quarter of the way there, buddy. Yeah, go ahead. A third of the way. No, Christine, don't help him. Do not help him. Don't bring up your comma sutra shit. Yeah, tantric shit I don't know about. That's in the asshole. That's the male G spot. And it's not. I'm gonna tell you right now. If you study tantric, which I did for three years. Dedicated, it's got your life to it. I dedicated for three years while I was in AA. I quit comedy. It was right after Torgasum, I quit. And I went into tantric massage. It's a dark period for some people. Not for me, it was actually enlightening. Very great fun. And the- Rajee Bobby? The male G spot, guess what, Lou? It's in your asshole. Did you know that? Men can come more than one time. You want me to show you yours with my fingers and dick? What do you think? No. I can just show you where it's at and then I'll pull out. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna be inside of you. I'm gonna go, see Lou, it's right. There it is, right there. There. You're gonna go, whoa! And I'm gonna go, yeah. And then I'll pull out and I'll just keep talking and you won't put my pants on. I'm like, so yeah, that's the male G spot right there. Go back up to the top one. Go to the, yeah, right, no, stay right there. See right there, that little cheese ball right there? It's under your turd, right on the hard bowed egg. You go in, you bend your finger down and you rub right there, that little cheese ball, is your G spot. Can I say, this picture, the only thing drawn better than mine is the hands. The hands are better for sure. But I mean, my dick and balls was better than this by a lot. Oh, that stinks. And the butt sucks too. Lou, you want me to find your G spot for you? Yeah, let's try it. I don't know it, no. Live on the radio, let's see if you have it. I'll use it, please. I'll use it, please. Let's you come immediately. You can get gloves right downstairs. Yeah. Are we negotiating? Can I get some money out of this? Yes, you can, how much? Absolutely. I could use five grand. Five grand, done. Five grand? Done. I was gonna say dinner at Ted Montanis, but all right, Jesus Christ, dude. What can I say, I'm bargaining with a sweet ass. Can I tell you something? Here's why I'm not gonna do five grand. Why? Because he's gonna realize, once I make him feel the wild ecstasy of fingering his asshole, because I know what I'm doing down there, baby. Yeah, of course you do. I'm a pro. I'm gonna work his fucking shit over. He's gonna blast all over my chest. And then he's gonna realize, like, I should've given him $5,000. Now he's getting over on me, do you understand? No, no, he's not, because he's gonna hand you the 5,000 back. You're gonna get that money right back. Yeah, it better be fall with him. I'm gonna hand him the envelope, and he's gonna hand it right back to me and go, do it again. Yeah. I'll do that. Next time you gotta pay me. All right, fine. First time I'll pay you. But when you inevitably want it again desperately, and it might take months for you to admit this to yourself, days trying to get your girlfriend to use her tiny hands, it ain't gonna work. No, it's not gonna work. Look at those fingers. Her little tiny hands, dude, look at these things, and they're warm from gloves. Look at these, you got manicured fingernails, they're shiny. Absolutely, dude. It's gonna slip right in. I'll treat you right, baby. What do you think? You want me to treat you right, baby? How about this? We'll give you 5,000, and if you come within three minutes, you have to give it back. Okay. You get five minutes of master base of me whacking you off while I finger your asshole. If you come in a minute, you gotta give me back fucking four grand. Every minute's a grand you get to keep. Jay, can I just jump in here real quick? You wanna hold out, yeah. Because I think you're gonna have a lock on one on back there. Let me masturbate him while you do the fingering. That's a, you know what I mean? Now we're moving away from the science of it all. Now it's just getting sucks. No, no, no, no, no. I didn't wanna be whacked off. Why not? Because I wanted to see if you could touch my little thing in the back of my thing. Well, it doesn't just make you come, you have to like. Yeah, you gotta get hard. You gotta manipulate, no, no, no. You're gonna be hard the second you see my reaction to your penis, Lou. Cause I know how to make a man feel right. You're gonna go, you're gonna do it. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna say something for someone to make a face like, whoa, that's big. No matter how small it is. I will go, whoa, where are you gonna put that thing? You're gonna pull Christine? I guess I'll try. I was with a Spanish stripper one time. Here we go. Like 10 years ago. Here we go. And I pulled my pants down. She got me alone in a room. I pulled my pants down and she goes, oh my God. And I'm like, she's just saying that it's not. She turned retarded? No, she's like, she's like, oh my God, I can't believe it. Like, that's the worst Spanish accent ever. Oh my God, I love a dick in my mouth. Oh no, maybe it wasn't at Awakening's Hospital. Yeah, exactly. Either way, she just started learning how to talk again. Oh my God. She was pretending that it was the biggest thing she's ever seen. I bet it's big. I bet you got a big piece. Lou's probably got a big fat thingy. You look like you got it. Your face looks like you have a big weird hog. You're sitting on that fucking beanbag of an ass she got there. Yeah. God doesn't even got a fat ass like that unless you get a carrier and a big hog. Dude, you need it. Those glutes are tight from holding the weight. Yeah, you built that ass up over years of that big hog carrying it around. It looks like a fucking beef tongue. I'm feeling uncomfortable. Why? I don't wanna play this game anymore. Talk to HR, dude. Yeah, rat us out, boy. Let me finger your ass on then talk to HR. Fuglesang did it. I saw him in the hallways the other day and we had a, I was coming behind him. His hair's longer now. Yeah, he looks like a vampire that hasn't had blood. Yeah. He definitely needs blood. The rats aren't working anymore. The rats aren't working. It's not hitting the spot. Lestat, stop. Go kill a kid. You're gonna have to kill a kid, dude. Now we had, we saw each other in the lobby. I was coming up behind him. I didn't know who it was. Me and Bobby were just making blind fun of the two dorky guys we thought we saw at the door. But behind their backs, like gentlemen. Yeah, of course, we're not. And then when I got up to him, I still, his back was to me still and he opened the door and held it for me. And I did, of course, I was like, oh, thank you so much. And I looked up and it was him and he was like, you're welcome, but it was both. We're just kind of like, we already said the thing a second after realizing like, oh, oh. You. I don't know how you. Me and Christine. And it's like now we both had a pleasantry with each other and neither was meant to. Me and Christine were walking down the hall and he was walking by and he jumped in our conversation. I forget what it was, we were talking about something and he walked by and he threw a little comment in. He, I said, I was saying something about the friar from Romeo and Juliet and I don't remember what the context was and he was like, friar Lawrence. Yeah, he. I was like, I know it was friar Lawrence. Yeah, Christine was annoyed. Guys, what's your problem? You should have said it goes, do you just listen to people's conversations? Yeah. What's your fucking deal, asshole? What is he hosting now here? Here we go. He has a new book out. What's it called? No, it doesn't work, it's serious anymore. I think he does. Yeah, he does. From home now probably. I really don't know, I just know that he has a new book out. Jacob, you're his number one fan. No. Dude, you've been with him since America's funniest videos. You called AFV. I forgot he did that. We had Rome out of the studio, who was with me? Why, body odor? No, he was running into our time and then he goes, oh my God, I got the mayor on the phone. And then he had to leave, like the mayor was more important than us. Is that what he said? Yeah. This was the old mayor. He said I got the mayor on the phone? Yes, like we'd given him a phone. Yeah. He's like, oh, that makes us more fun. You should've said, oh, that makes us more fun than hung it up for him. Oh, really? That's the mayor? This makes us more fun. There you go, champ, get out. Tell him to call earlier. I really wish we could find, lose G-Spot. We can. Yeah. Oh, I mean, you'd have to let us. Yeah. Really though, I know you're excited. If you, Jacob and Black Lou, hold him down, I'll get it, I'll get in there. What if we have Christine dance a little bit, just to distract him? It's not gonna distract him like that. No, he's gonna, I mean, for a second it will, but then he's gonna really, trust me, having people hold you down and start fingering your asshole probably is gonna take precedent over Christine just dancing around. We haven't played Pearl Jam. Christine's dancing, singing, and Jeremy is distracted. Then we hold him down. Maybe that will distract him enough for you to get in there to get into the G-Spot, hook the finger down. As soon as you touch it, he's gonna fall into ecstasy. I'm gonna tell you this, when we get off the other cheek and I hit the hole, I'm telling you, it ain't far behind that hole. Something tells me he's got a prominent G-Spot. Of course it isn't. Yes? Lou, what if we could get a member of Pearl Jam to finger your asshole? Oh, that's not gonna happen, but can we have a heterosexual component to lure me into this gay activity? No, I'm saying if Eddie or what's the guitarist that you love. Christine's dancing, that's pretty good. Pretty good, wow, she's right there. I'm gonna rape. Are there Eddie or the- I think you're gonna like it once they get in there. He's not gonna faint, he's going to love it. Lou, you're gonna love it. As soon as his finger touches it. You're gonna have that thing, you're gonna go from like, don't you fucking motherfuck, you're just, oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah, relax. Hold on. Relax, Lou. What's- Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou. Stop, stop, stop, stop. That's when they rape you to show you what a homo you are. He goes, he goes, is that it? Is that it, you want it? I think I feel it, I think it is, I think you're on it. There it is right there. And you're gonna turn your whole tune around. Yeah. And then before you know it, whatever you're asking, you're begging us to finger your ass every day. Yeah, it's gonna be a thing where we get sick of. Yeah. Dude, you're going up, I gotta go up. You go up and do it. That's right. And he goes, you want a body brain coffee? Pay the toll. And he just presents to you. Guys, can we get an early today to do the pre-tapes? We have a long lunch. Yeah, just so you know, this is a very dangerous picture we have up here on Anatomy, the Anatomy app, because it looks like it's saying to move your lower intestine out of the way and finger a shitball that's behind your, I don't know, exploding egg of a womb? What is this? What is this guy? Well, the G-spot is like a cheese ball, but what's the, I know the intestine- Is it brown? It's, well, I'm sure they- That's your bladder, right? That's your bladder right there? Or is that where your jizz comes out? That's your bladder, dude. Your jizz comes from your beans. Your jizz comes from here. Well, where's the other connection to your nut? They don't have it on them? They don't have the vast deference? Well, you know what? When you hit the, wow. Look it up, Christine. Wow. Vast deference. Wow. Wait, no, how do I look that out? I thought it was the name of the tube that Seaman comes out. What am I asking? What is what the name? By the way, it says right there, ejaculatory duct. What does it say? Christine, read it out loud. Don't blow this. The vast difference in seminal vesicle ducts? No, difference would be with an eye, wouldn't it? What does it actually say? Vast what? Difference. Thank you. I would have fucked that up too, Christine. It's a shame because I just said it before and everyone looked at me like it wasn't a real thing. No, I didn't. I went, wow, I was fully impressed and I believed in it. Thank you. Yeah, I knew. And I was asking the question, so that's pretty wild. Tensions are high in here because everybody wants to take a shot at losing an asshole. But there's only one person that should, you. My girlfriend. You, plus you have gloves on with no fingers so you know exactly when to stop. Buddy, you'll never get past second knuckle with me. You'll be fine. I'm telling you. Those gloves are actually like an indicator. Hey, stop here. And your G-spot, dude, I know it's right there. It's right there, dude. How about I get my girlfriend to do it over the weekend and give you a full report? If you have sound. Oh, sure, I'm a radio guy. Of course, I'm gonna. Yeah, if you could get sound of her. Lou, can I just say something, honestly, look at me. Seriously, will you please, for the love of the show, have her find your G-spot and just record the audio of it? Okay, you got it. Nice. This is, I can't wait for this week to be over. I'll be in Florida this weekend so I'll be fingering my own ass and recording it. What? I'm nothing, nothing. I'm not gonna deal and do it. All right, whatever. I think those long fucking keyboard fingers are there. His spindly, chewy fingers. You know what happens too when you hit a male G-spot, when you come, it's a prostate fluid, not Giz, which is a different thing. Look that up, Christine. Can we take a break? No. No, not yet. Not yet. Prostate fluid. We're settling something here. Ha ha ha ha. Dun dun. I'm keeping quiet until I hear answers. Jay, read it, Christine. When climaxing specifically from prostate stimulation, the fluid released is primarily prostate fluid, not typical semen containing high concentrations of sperm. Thank you. Thank you. I told you. You nailed it, buddy. Thanks, buddy. You're the doctor of the show. Nope, we. You. No, you had the... I'm the artist in the butthole finger. What is the word you had again? Vast deference. Vast deference. It's on this diagram. Vast deference. There you go. There it is. Vast deference. What a great word. That should be your next album. Vast deference. It might only be prostate fluid. Big Jay, this weekend, is gonna be at the Improv in Danya Beach, Florida, February 6th through the 7th. That's only two nights. Tickets are limited, so get them right now. If you're going, get your tickets. After that, he's gonna be in Fort Worth, Texas, Nashville, San Antonio, and San Francisco, where he's gonna be sticking all kinds of stuff in his ass. I'm gonna have so much prostate fluid out there. Oh my God. Yes. Your vast deference is gonna be jizzing out. Oh, dude, it's gonna be nothing. Prostate fluid all over everyone's foreheads. For tickets and all the tour dates, go to bigjaycomedy.com, YouTube.com, slash epic Jay O'Kersen for his live show that he does and his specials are up there. So much fun stuff. Still trying to get back. Why is that fuck not giving us back the stupid what's your fucking deal? I don't know. What is it? They're holding hostage, my fucking, the crowd work show that we did, the TV one we did for CISO. Yeah. They just got like Chris Atalia from the Stan Has It. I mean, just give it to me so I can put it on YouTube and you can get used. He's like, wait, we wanna put it behind a pay wall above. Oh, fuck it asshole. Bobby Kelly. Yeah. Is behind a pay wall at the Comedy Works South in Colorado. Pay and go see him. Yeah. That's February 5th and 7th. That's this weekend. Yeah, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Nice fun club. It is a fun club. I'm excited to be able to. It's cold and I have to prep myself. That's the time I got sick. Really? I got a little headache and a little dizzy. You got the altitude thing. A little bit this time. So I got a. Drink tons of water. Tons of water. And buy that NOS dude, you're gonna love it. The oxygen. You wanna get that? I'm gonna take aspirin. I'm gonna do a lot of. Not NOS. Don't do NOS. No, not NOS. Oxygen. Oxygen. Yeah, I might do a little NOS too. NOS is fun. Breaking sobriety? Yes. Is it? I think. You couldn't do a balloon with me at a concert one day? No, that's actually getting high, Jay. For 30 seconds. I'm high on life. Okay. I'm high being with you. Will you French kiss me if I have it in my mouth? 100%. Perfect. Can I find your G-spot on the break? Yeah. I'll be right back. Everyone go to punchup.live.slash. Robert Kelly for all of his dates and his YouTube channel at Robert Kelly Comedy and every Tuesday night, including tonight. No, tonight's Monday. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night. Damn, I'm off. Every Tuesday night, 7 p.m. fat black pussycat launched a comedy show. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. At AJ Bell, we believe every customer deserves brilliant service, which is just one reason we're rated excellent on Trust Pilot. And we all trust pilots with their smooth, captainly voices that make you feel like you'd let them land anywhere they like. Sorry, where was I? Right, AJ Bell. Rated excellent by sexy pilots. I mean Trust Pilot. I'm a flight risk. AJ Bell, feel good investing. The value of your investments can go up or down.