Giggling about girl's gays, male comics, and method acting

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I mean the day just got away from me. My machelof. Is it green? Because it's Wicked Week. Let's actually start with her eating. I was rolling, so we got that. What's up my green Gigglers? Sorry. No, Hannah's chose right now to have breakfast. That was dry swallow. I have so much to talk about today. First of all, it's Sunday. Wake up glorious snow. Text grace. 9 a.m. She has an answer. She's brushing her teeth. She's peeing. Shower, maybe. She's always ready before me. We have to be somewhere by 11. There's two hours, but it's nine. I call her, she has an answer. Then I'm like, okay, I'm going to call her again because she might be sleeping. She might have overslept. Then I went full mom mode and I was like, she's lying down in the street unconscious. Someone needs to find grace. She went out last night. She never came. Well, do you have grace as a location? I'm not a location person. I don't even have my husband's location. What? Now you need to start taking down people's locations. Paige, we don't have each other's locations. I don't have your location? Wait a second. I feel like. Probably the only person that you want to have a location is the only person that you would want to know. I don't have your location. I always want to know your location. Sierra just randomly took my location one day. I have Sierra's location. She likes just having it. Yeah, I check in to see where she is every once in a while. Sometimes she really throws me for a loop. One time I checked, she was in like Vancouver. Oh yeah, she's always like in London. No, I think having people's location is very important. Clearly not that much because you never asked me for it. Well, you have a husband. You have other people that are watching you. If you go missing, I'm probably not the first person that's going to notice is going to be someone else. And that person should have your location. That's like when Des and I got into a fight because I put my mom down as my emergency contact. Wait, I didn't know that. You didn't know that? No, for what? I don't know. Some DMV stuff. And he looks at me and he was like, did you just put your mom? And I was like, yeah, she's the only adult I know. And he was like, I'm your husband. I'm your emergency contact. I'm like, you're always with me. You're not my emergency contact. He's also like always out of town. Yeah, you're always out of town, like speaking Mandarin to someone on the phone. You're a spy. I'm not putting your contact down. Normalize? Not having your spouse be your emergency contact. When does your mom not become your emergency contact? I think when you get married. Wait, no, no, no. My husband is not taking care of me. That's disgusting and not feminist. Also, I do have to say with people like, oh, it's a bit. This is either going to start like a real conversation. Yeah. Like I don't think. My dad's not my emergency contact ever. Why would I put my husband? Are you Desis, but you're Desis, obviously. I told him, how long have you been doing that? You're like, do you want to put my mom down? No, I said, I have my mom's number if you need. She's available for all of us at all times. That's her only job on this world is to make sure in emergencies, she's there for me. And like, should I pull an orange? Also, side note, who's ever needed an emergency contact? Because I got hit by a car once and I'm pretty sure they didn't have an emergency contact. Do you know in my phone, like if something were to ever happen to me and like the police are like, oh, where's her phone? If you go in my phone, my mom is my emergency contact in my phone. You can make that like a thing. You're such a nervous Nellie. I love it. Well, I'm very prepared for this moment. Like if there's an apocalypse, someone's going to call my mom. Can I say one thing about marriage too? Everyone's like, oh, it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend. More embarrassing to be married. And then I was thinking about gay people and how jealous I am. Like when gay people get married, it's a movement. When I get married, I'm embarrassing. Well, again, only for girls. Only for girls. Yeah, when men get married, everyone goes, thank God. Yeah, like when men get married, they're like, oh, he finally settled down. He like worked on himself. He waited. He's going to be on track. He's like, yep. She's going to hold him down. He was all crazy. She's rock. Yeah, she's just rock. She's holding him down. But like when we do it, it's like your life's like expectancy is going to go down and just your friends stop acting for your location. They're literally like, bye, bye bitch. She goes, you're married. I'm like, okay, I never see my husband. Wait, speaking of, um, it's a fair. We have so much to talk about today. So much to talk about. Did you see that TikTok video of the girl getting mugged in like, I think she was on vacation, like in like Columbia or somewhere. That's so your algorithm girls getting mugged. No, I have nice video. She's got her backpack on. She's with her male friend, which we can only assume is her boyfriend, husband or fiance. Or a platonic. We don't, we don't fully know yet. See, I immediately went to gay, but continue. What we do know is she's got her backpack on. He's got his backpack on. They're looking at something like, looks like they're looking at directions on the phone. Someone comes from around the corner, tries to snatch her phone. She starts fighting the guy like, no, you're not taking my phone. The man she's with runs away, runs away behind a wall. Okay. This woman's fighting for her life. A random guy from the street sees it's happening, runs up. I think he might have even been like on a motorcycle or something and like pulls up, runs to her, helps her, gets the guy away from her. And then her boyfriend comes like walking back into frame like, are you okay? Talk about never being able to get wet again around him. No, I would actually murder him. Also, side note, if I did have a gay best friend with me, I feel like gay guys are the first to be like, let me beat his ass. There's also nothing I love more than being with my gay guy friends and they start acting like your boyfriend. Like at the airport, they're like, I'll grab your, I'm like, no, when you remember, like, wait, they're really strong. Like, sometimes Mitchell will do something and I'll be like, oh my God, I forget that like, you're like a man. You're a man and people see you in the street. They don't know you and like, you're a man. So they're all automatically like respecting you. It's funny because that's like the only thing we need men for is like to defend us in that very specific situation that may or may not happen. And it's funny because I'm with an older man. And take our bags down from the overhead space. Which they never do. By the way, actually yesterday on the flight, I'm sitting next to this man, which I was like, oh no, this could go badly. They didn't speak to me the whole time. I was like, I love this man. Yep. And then I'm waiting at the end. He stands up in the aisle. So obviously I can't go into the aisle to get my stuff. And he looks at me and he's like, do you have a bag up here? When I tell you I fly eight times a week. First time this has happened this year. Really? And you said yes when he took it? And I said, actually yes. Little D know I had like seven bags. I was like, yes. And he pulled on the luggage and he goes, what about this backpack? I go, that is mine too. He goes, what about that coat? That is mine too. We're laughing, Ricky King. And I said, we just brought men and women together. How old was they? He was, you know what? He was like a nice 40 year old. Yeah. Yeah. Was he married? I don't think so, but he also, I don't know, he just was like old school. Did he give dad vibes? Yeah. Yeah. You have to get a dad because no one under the age of 25, like man is even like looking in your direction to take, like they don't even, that's not even running through their head of like, oh, maybe I should help them get a bag down. That's like, no, it's really guys that are 30 to 40 that you're like, hello. We're like past 45, they're helping more. Yeah. But also past 50, they like can't. Right. Like at some point I'm like, I got it, sir. You're going to pull a ligament. I got it. We don't need the plane to turn around because you have to go to the doctor. Like also chaos ensued on one of my flights. A woman looks up and she goes, Why does this always happen to you? She goes, someone took my bag. This is my worst nightmare. That's actually my worst fear. I was in row two. So thank God, like it could only be like two people in front of us. It was just a mistake. But the person was kind of like, okay, well, you just have to go find them. So then I'm like locked into the drama. Wait, the flight attendant was like, okay, we'll go chase them. And I was like, behind her like, let's go girl. So I'm just following her. Oh my God. And she's chasing this guy. And this guy is like, no idea. It's just a black bag. And then one thing I realized, and I didn't hear it specifically, but I want to say one other thing about men. Sorry, Chris. They never fucking say sorry. I say sorry if you hit me. Yeah. If you pummel me in the airport, I go, I am so sorry. You punch a woman in the face and she's like, I'm sorry for what I did. Men, like I'll have Uber drivers or no, like a driver's supposed to pick me up for the airport and be like over sleep 40 minutes late. Doesn't say sorry when he gets there. Yeah. Like, and this is not just one person. This happens all the time with men. They don't say sorry. They don't say sorry and they don't use exclamation points when they're writing emails. And you know what? Pardon me, respects it. I say, should I be more like that? But then I think, how am I going to not say sorry for being an hour late to a pickup time to an airport? I've been really PMSing like the past three weeks. Let me go like, I made a mistake. Yeah. Good for you. Good for you. Let it out. That I was writing such a stern email this week that I started crying. I literally am typing and I go, this is like actually kind of mean. You're a sergetical Parker, but for mean emails. Then at the bottom of the email, I go, I hope this didn't come off as harsh. And I'm full on sobbing. Can I tell people what you do? When? Which is actually very healthy. When? Okay. So when Paige is really, really mad, but she knows that she needs to not say anything. Yeah. She will write it out like full flesh like, like novels to people. Send it to me. I said, that was a good one. And she goes, thank you. And then deletes it. I write informational text messages to people I hate. I write full like, and I edit it. I edit it. Sometimes I'll take certain paragraphs and I'll throw it in chat GPT and I'll be like, make that snarkier. And I'm like, yeah, that's a good one. And so I'll type out a full fucking text message to someone and I won't obviously send it to that person because like, I could start a, I could start a work that like companies would end like things would have, it would be crazy. So I just send it to Hannah. And I'll appreciate the line and like you get, it's so good. I mean, I'll do that with social media. Like you will not see me. Like I will never, I'm not in the comments at all. But if I do see anything that pisses me off, you just write it out. You have a little smirk cause you're like, that would have been funny. Page of the left at that. And then you delete it and you go on with your life. I hate people in two different senses. Like I can hate you and I will never acknowledge that you're even alive on this planet. And that's like, that's worse for you. And that means I don't hate you as much as other people, but I really just more like want to piss you off. But then there's another kind of hate where I'm like, I literally am manifesting for you the worst possible next five years. When are you getting your period? Hopefully. No, I actually think I have PMDG where I'd like my PMS because this week I've been visceral. I was PMSing. I actually just got my period. That's why I'm so relaxed today and gorgeous. My luteal phase is over. I was bloated like a pig. I was swollen and I'm mad. Like the week before your period you were so ugly. So ugly. I mean you were gorgeous at all times. But like me, I was on vacation and I was like, that's crazy. Des at one point was like, are you pregnant? And I was like, you're not supposed to ask people that. Like literally you're not supposed to ask people that. And then I got a- You're like hip of violation. You're not even my emergency contact. You're not even my emergency contact. You're not even my emergency contact. You're not even gonna ask me that. I got a headache. You know when it's like in your eye socket? Like I'm like googling like what part of my eye socket. And then I'm like- Like you had a migraine. I had a migraine this week too. But you know what's so funny? I'm insane. So I've never called it a migraine. I'm just like, I have a really bad headache. Well I classify a migraine when like after I take Advil or Tylenol and it's still there. And like if I have to turn the light off, I'm like, oh this is a migraine. I have to say one thing about my oar ring. Because if you haven't noticed, I'm back on my oar ring bullshit. I don't think we ever really addressed it when you started it because I tried to just like ignore it. I love oar ring. You do? Well it's fun because if I worked out it would be more fun. Yeah. But I don't. It's more like me on tour being like how tired am I? And you wake up and it goes you're really tired. It's crazy when you're looking at your own social media. Yes. But this is the problem that I do have to raise awareness about oar rings. So now it'll say this thing being like you're really tired. Make sure you relax today. So I've been using it. Like I haven't worked out in a month and Desley you should like move your body a little and I go uh-uh my oar ring. So I wake up I don't even consider working out because I'm like my oar rings just arrest. That's having them with the app the pattern which is basically like horoscope. It's like everyone sucks today but you and I'm like I knew it. And period. I have an idea for aura. If they made a version for animals I would get it. Like if I could put an aura ring on Kitty and see like under collar. Yeah like what's her sleeping patterns like when was she awake last night? Is she hungry? Well that's my fur bow. Like my fur bow lets me know like I watch what butter is up to at night. Yeah. We don't know about a lot but what we do know about is getting enough sleep and being rested and when we don't get enough sleep we're nightmarish. Nightmarish sinister energy. I have a very lengthy morning routine, nighttime routine. You love a routine. I love a routine. I like adding things into my routine taking things out of my routine. One thing that is a staple in my routine is my AG1. I've been using AG1 for years now honestly I would say like 2019 is probably when I first started using it. Oh my god. And I'm so happy that AG1 now has something for a nighttime routine and we're so excited about AGZ. It's a new melatonin free nightly drink that becomes a simple ritual we now look forward to at night. Add it into my nighttime routine all the time. I like to be working while I'm sleeping. That's one thing people think we're like lazy we're bed rotters. No we're working. Working just horizontally. I'm recharging. I'm hair oiling. I'm getting my fill of magnesium. Yes. I also I love a fun drink. I don't want to drink water. No you don't. I don't. And at night when you're not going out I still want to have something fun a little party in my bedroom. Now they have a flavor mixed berry that has right to the top of my list. Makes my routine even easier because it does taste so good. So I have it at nighttime because it has magnesium in it and magnesium is very important for women specifically. And I'm obsessed with the chocolate mint right now because I make it hot. I make it hot it feels nice on the throat. I make it with warm oat milk since I'm off my dairy as you know. And I sip it while cuddling my cat and it just tells my body like the days over we're slowing down stop overthinking everything. Stop thinking about everything that you've done that's embarrassing in your life and let's relax. I wake up feeling rested not groggy. Sleep is actually like our number one superpower. So it's melatonin free. I'm off melatonin I'm all about magnesium and magnesium is supposed to be like better for women. It helps you sleep. Yes. I just I prefer it. I love a nighttime warm drink you know. And I love a nighttime cold drink. And that's where we're different but similar. But there's nothing like getting in bed you've fulfilled all your tasks. Your hair is up in a bun you're doing a mask you have a face mask on you've already journaled you've picked your show for later and you're drinking a nice drink. We're officially obsessed with our new nighttime routine. A G Z is the melatonin free nightly drink that helps your body and mind wind down and supports restful restorative sleep so you can wake up feeling refreshed. We love that you can work it into your nightly routine and turn better sleep into your new favorite ritual. If you're ready to turn down the stress and focus on the rest head to drink AG1.com slash Giggly to get a free frother with your first purchase of AGZ. That's drink AG1.com slash Giggly. The segment was brought to you by AG1. Speaking of last night and speaking of gaze. Because if you guys don't know. I was going to pass life I am on a gay algorithm. I seek the gaze approval like nobody's business. I think there is something healing about like going from wanting straight male approval to gay male approval. To wait. I have so much to say about this. I'm really happy you're bringing this up. You can go on with this. I learned recently that there's. Oh she's moving stuff around. I need an area. There's gaze gaze girls gaze. Oh because the gaze gaze hate women. The gaze gaze hate women. Now I rarely rarely come into contact with a gaze gay to the point where I don't know it's happening to you. You were with me one specific time. I attract gaze gaze. You attract gaze gaze. We're like all of my gay guy friends. They're girls gaze like they're excited. Like I saw this video on Tiktok and it was like if you're a girls gay. You have any other species on the planet. Watch women get their heart broken so many times. Not just from like relationships just like them living like the abortion stuff. Like all of that stuff. Like if you're friends. Yeah because they're in our lives with us. We're gaze gaze are like only with gay guys and they like don't really give a shit about women. And I didn't know this was a thing until one time I was with a gay man and I was with Hannah and. I was like oh I think he's maybe being mean to me but sometimes I'm sensitive so I'm like no like I'm just being sensitive like whatever. And then he said like a couple other things and Hannah was like then I saw Hannah get confused. I'm like no this is Paige. No this is. You can talk like that to me. You can talk like that to Paige. You're gay and this is Paige. Where's the disconnect? And I'll never forget this gay man. Yeah. As long as I live because I was. You wrote him over ten email. Ten email. Also some Giggly Squad shows there are different girls gaze to where I think there's like a Paige gay and Hannah gay. Because I don't want to gay men do connect with me. In a different way. Like some gays like love sports and those girls gaze are your gaze. Well there will be some like very funny like specific Bravo gaze. Some of them do like me. Some of them are literally like the Bravo gaze have like kept me sane through my for a long time. Wait. What Bravo gaze. Every man on reality TV. I was just gonna say they're not out. I was saying like those actually have classifies gaze gaze. Like Bravo by gaze like we love them. But occasionally on a Giggly Squad show there will be like a guy a gay guy raises hands and he'll be like hi Paige. Look at me and then ask you something about your outfit and I'm like oh we're in a fucking fight. But then I'll have like a gay come up to me at like a coffee shop and be like by the way like Netflix doesn't have a lot of specials. I feel like I could connect with and watching your special like I love doing. I was like can you tell Paige because she thinks that like gay guys. It's like kind of bad for my brand. So there is a we're learning that there is a range. There's a range and I was like unaware of it. And then I was like oh no I've actually experienced this. But look misogyny comes in all shapes and forms. All shapes and sizes. Now which brings me to last night I watched the first three episodes of Heated Rivalry. Now has Heated Rivalry come across your desk at all? It sure has. How so? I'm an avid show surfer. You are. And if there's something new on the platforms I'm dialed in. I know what's coming out. I have things that Netflix like saved alert me. Emily and Paris Thursday like we know it. So when I was on Amazon and I saw because there was another Amazon show. I forget what I what it's called. But they were royal and they were gays. And I loved that. And so then I saw hockey players and I was like. So I'm two episodes in. Oh I didn't know. Did you start watching after I told you last night? No I've been watching. Oh you've been. Okay sorry. I've been watching. I tried to take credit. I'm not sure if I can tell your story. One little fact I want the giglers to know. There is not one out NHL player. There might be one in the minor leagues. I think maybe there's one in like the level below. I love that you immediately looked into this. Well statistically honey. Statistically. Not possible. Cannot be true. Now let me preface this because I know we recommend a lot of stuff on Giggly Squad and I know that y'all are listening and you're like oh it's throwing on and you know the holidays are coming up and you're going to be with your family. You say oh Hannah Paige mentioned the show Headed Rivalry. Warning. Or maybe you should. It's a conversation with Graham Graham. It brings up politics or anything homophobic. Say hey I want to show you a new show. I'm going to show for you. A holiday show. It's called Headed Rivalry. Now this is my hot take about Headed Rivalry. It is everything I wanted challenges to be and challenges wasn't. And as you guys know I have. Wait were they gay and challengers. They were like teasing it the whole time. They were gay beating. And in my head I was like if this was about like this love triangle but the guys are actually hooking up and they're like in the closet on tour together like I'm locked in. Locked. So he'd arrive and by the way when I first went to Wisconsin Gully Edgers I was unfamiliar with hockey. I had only known like basketball players, baseball players. I was from Brooklyn. I never met the spree of hockey man. They're pale. They're chiseled. They have bow legs. They have STDs. They have little fucked up teeth. They talk like this. They're all kind of beautiful. Yeah well they're very like grunt. There's like boys, dirty boys boys and they went to college together. And their hair is always like straggly and they grow out there and they have all these names for each other. And they have to like squat on the ice. And they just jump into it. Yeah. Because it's honest, it is figure skating but then they like punch each other to remind themselves it's like straight. Yeah it's like okay that was a triple style cow. It's not pretend it wasn't anything else but a Tara Lipinski flip. I think it lets me serious. No they literally do a triple style cow. And they're like oh I'm straight. So this is. Just a wild concept that there's a sporting event where they're like yeah they want to punch each other we're okay with it. It doesn't go too far. That's assault. At any point a guy will just, it is actually like a form of. Because if anyone did that in any other sport. No it's a form of theater. It's like oh he's gotten angry. Like if a girl did that imagine if in the middle of the podcast I started punching you. That would be a problem. But no it's good entertainment. That's what I mean about like gang violence. It's like guys just go to therapy. But also you know these guys are going to be here afterwards which is the crazier thing or they might be having sex. So. A lot of lovers quarrels could be happening on the ice that we don't even know. That's why they've been fighting. The whole time they've been fighting because they're like did you look at that guy's ass. We're figuring everything out. Now ask someone when I tell you guys I was not a Jersey chaser because I was an athlete. So it was more athlete on athlete crime. But like in theory like I just loved athletes my whole life. All I want is athletes I've never looked at a poet. I've dabbled in a musician but he did play sports. And that was a mistake. And we learned and we grew from that. We learned and we grew. But I'm obsessed with athletes because as you guys know I'm very strong. And athletes make me feel tiny. And like just adorable and little around them. And they're like you're so tiny I'm like I know. So then watching this made me question everything. Because in my head I'm like well I'm just like the athletes on campus are the most manly, masculine, straight dudes. And look have I heard through the grapevine in real life that this may or may not have happened. So a couple times yes. But now I'm looking at everyone differently. I'm looking around at every dude and I don't, Chris I don't trust you. Like if I was a dude I'd be fucking my friends. Like girls are so much more like you gotta you know make them trust you. It seems very complicated. If you are just a horny dude fuck your friend leave us alone. Leave us alone. Go jerk off with your friend now. I'm afraid I didn't even preface this correctly. Heated rivalry is about gay hockey players. And when I tell you how is it 2025 sorry I'm very passionate about this. And we haven't yet had a like mainstream TV show of like a male gay love story that is so I'm locked in. I'm locked in also by the way there is it is I don't want to be like oh it's gay porn. But like if you're watching a show where straight people hook up it's a lot of sex. So just like warning people. Also there's no dicks. Like the point for like the male loneliness epidemic like obviously like they're trying to blame it like all on the girls and like we're mean to them now and stuff. But like maybe it's because the men can't create a space in which they're safe with each other. Like there was this video on Tiktok and it was like this girl went up to like a certain amount of women and it was like if you could move to a world where it was just all women are you going and every woman was like fuck yeah like I'm going. And I asked the same question to men like would you move to a world that was all men and every man was like absolutely not that's insane. Why would we ever do that. But then all the men do is complain that they didn't can't hang out their friends enough. But it's the gay ones will mind you like an all female world I don't think would work either because like the amount of text messages. I probably am just insane SMS would explode. But in like just a low level thinking of it we enjoy being with each other for long periods of time because we feel safe with each other. They don't even feel safe enough to be like hey I think that guy's hot. Well could you imagine what's great in that show is you they can't communicate with each other. Yeah. And he just keeps saying fuck you bro fuck you like that's how they talk and then I'm like that's literally how the guys always one day was like wait I actually think I'm attracted to women and I think I'm a little bit. You're the first person I'm telling you'd marry me. Well because of your like whoa whoa whoa so now I'm two people's emergency contact like what like no you're none when you're going to figure it out. No well we when men hang out they have trouble express I hope that meant Chris. Do you have do you have one guy. Yeah like how long have you been friends with your best friend. My oldest best friend is probably like sixth grade. OK. But I'm probably more closer with people in recent years. OK when's the last time you had like a sentimental like deep where you were like man that was a really deep conversation with so and so. Somewhat often. Really. Yes. Often Chris is like like Chris is. Yeah he's. Yeah. How old are you again. 28 28. So you are technically Gen Z or no you're on the cusp. It's like right on the cusp. You're like an older. When was the last time you complimented your guy friend like. Oh that's tough like seriously and not ironically. Yeah. Like never years. But I do page and I don't compliment each other. That's not true. I'm just kidding. But like the way I compliment you is like I'll make fun of you and I'll be like yeah but that's well that's true. But like when you walk in somewhere and like you look at him and you look so good. Well yeah because then you're obsessed with me. Yeah. And then when you don't say anything I like have to go home and reflect on my decisions. It's a whole thing. But I digress. Did you have another point. His heated rivalry is so good. Also I love that in film and TV traditionally in the arts I feel like gay characters were so stereotyped when there's a gay guy it's just the gay best friend. That's the only gay guy there is. Totally. And he doesn't have his own storyline and he's you know bitchy and girly and that's it. So just them showing these guys and they're not acting in like a theatrical stereotypical gay which by the way being a girly gay is perfect. It's just there isn't one kind of gay which we discussed earlier in this podcast. Well it's like they're not out so they are almost like cosplaying. Yeah and so it's actually like there's also an element to it where it's like sad where you're like wait I wish you could just like be together and like tell everyone. And it's funny because at first because I'm not used to seeing it because I don't watch male gay porn. You don't? So I heard from the lesbian community. Yeah. Lesbians love male gay porn. Interesting. And lesbian correspondents message me if I'm wrong because I don't want to have false information out there but some lesbians. It's like why straight girls like grill on girl porn. Because they're so like removed from it like it's almost like. We still haven't been able to figure this out. But lesbians don't want to watch two girls pretend to hook up. Where straight girls were like okay cute. They're pretending? What do you mean they're pretending? I know she squirted. She really liked that actually. But having a first one. Wait that is actually really funny. I've never even thought to look for two gay men. No. Because I'm like what am I going to do here? No. I've never clicked. Also it seems like. I never even see it. Aggressive. I don't also. Yeah like I don't. Two dicks. That's a nightmare. Yeah. So then. But so watching it when they first start kissing. I think I got like a visceral reaction because I'm so not used to seeing it. At first I was like and then by the second episode I was like put your finger in his butt. Let's do this. I'm locked in. And it was like very hot. Well it also kind of shows a like part of it that we kind of forget that. Aino is like a thing. No. In 2025 there's so many men that are not out. And not just because I've dated half of them. But because I look in the world and it's very sad. Think about it. All girls are gay. Totally. All girls are gay. We have to come out of straight. Yeah. We say oh I'm straight I'm sorry I'm straight. Yeah. Well we are. We're saying we're comfortable enough with our sexuality to be able to say like that girl is so hot or like watch gay lesbian porn. Like I've never heard a straight man saying like I watch guy on guy porn. Cause we're not here just being like yeah I've just watched two girls watching a man. We don't know. We don't know. But bottom line is in 2025 where gay marriage is legal and there's like. I mean we hope we hope we hope continuing. But there's still men that feel like they can't come out. I also think there's a lot of men that are just like on the spectrum. Yeah. Not where they're like maybe I'm bi. Yeah like where sexuality is all over the place. Girls it's more freeing and socially acceptable. Also do you know how many girls you see on the street holding hands that you're just like oh they're so cute best friends but they're dating. Thinking of just oh. Security program on spreadsheets new regulations piling up an audit dread. It's time for Vanta Vanta automate security and compliance brings evidence into one place and cuts audit prep by 82 percent less manual work clearer visibility faster deals zero chaos call it compliance or call it compliance get it. Join the 15000 companies using Vanta to prove trust get started at Vanta dot com slash com. This is your business. This is your business supercharged with the help of zero accounting software. This is managing cash flow. This is managing your cash flow with the help of zero accounting software. These are your customers paying you. These are your customers having more ways to pay you with the help of zero accounting software. This is your business supercharged with the help of zero helping you show your cash flow by giving your customers more ways to pay so now you can focus on making your business. Supercharged your business today with the help of zero. Hello I'm Roshan Conaty and I'm hosting the last laugh the last one laughing podcast this series I'll be joined by a load of the last one laughing gang and some celebrity fans of the show to bring you all the big moments and gossip from series two of last one laughing gang. We've got some absolutely amazing guests including Diane Morgan, David Mitchell, Luz Sanders and Joe Wilkinson. You can listen now on audible or wherever you get your podcasts. Morning there will be loads of spoilers so please make sure you've watched the current episode before listening. I watched the Taylor Swift documentary. I watched the first two episodes too. Wait we never watched the same things. This week is like a miracle you guys. Happy holidays. Even just saying you're impressed by her is like such a low level. I and look I like Taylor Swift. I when I was in high school like when that album first album came out like the girls we just got our license it was life changing. Obviously like as time has gone on I feel like I've missed a couple albums. I wasn't like as in tuned but like now as she's getting engaged and all this stuff and this documentary she's so impressive it's actually mind blowing. Well when you follow a celebrity just through like other people's concepts of them and tweets and random photos and narratives so much is made up. Yes. And obviously this documentary like is made by her and she's putting forward something but you can't deny what she's showing. Right. Which is first of all she's a genius. Genius. Can we just say she's a genius. Like if she was a man everyone would be like talking about her like literally like like a philosopher like she's a genius. Yeah. When she speaks everything she says is so astute and smart and three and a half hours on stage Paige and I Paige and I. It's all. Three and a half hours. I thought about. Three and a half hours. I was like I did you see the one part where she was like I'm sorry I'm just like her mom comes in and she was like I'm just like a little like she wants to say anxious. She's having all I could think of was like do you take beta blockers like I wanted to know. I mean seeing her get home from the show take off her makeup and be like I'm like I'm just going to watch TV for eight hours. I can't come down. We were like we're Taylor Swift. I felt like Taylor Swift but think about how much more she's doing. I die. I don't. I love that she was like I don't remember choreography. Yeah. So. And I go I love but it's she's normalizing. Don't count to me that's disgusting. You don't have to be perfect. She's like I know what my strengths are. I'm really fucking good at what I do and then I hire people to do the right things around me and then like the fact that she trusts the people around her so much that she's like I need to step it up for them. She's like I have the best people in the business and then. Also I thought it was crazy when she was like look if the tour makes more money than projected then that means everyone gets bonuses which like when you hear that said you're like oh yeah that makes sense. Like it grows more money whatever. But to then find out that like that happens all the time where the tour will make more money than projected and not the majority of artists are not tipping their crew like extra I think speaks volumes. Well look there's two types of people in the world probably more but one kind is like I earned this. This is me. Yeah. Horde all the money and I and all these people are so lucky to fucking be here. Yeah. And then there's people who are like oh my god I wouldn't be here without all these people who left their families. Also the happier they are it starts from the bottom. Like if the person driving you is content and everything comes up from that everyone is happier and I do think what's cool about Taylor is you see like she knows she can make an impact and like what they say in Spider-Man with great power comes great responsibility. Like she knows that she can change someone's life and she does. So the documentary is fascinating and I'm upset I never was able to go to the show. I went to the one at MetLife and it was incredible. I mean like she is a performer like I've been to a lot of concerts before and you're like oh my god she's such a cute little dancer and she's so good. But Taylor is giving a full Broadway. There's no other way to describe it. It's a full Broadway theatrical performance. She's telling a story. She's talking to you. She's bringing on guests. I mean three hours. I couldn't even tell you it's another concert I've been to that was over two hours. I can't do anything for three hours. No. No. And how she's did it every single night. And focusing. To go where she went like 220 places or something. Yeah. I do love her relationship with her mom. I love her relationship with her mom. I also think that she's so mentally strong. Like to be able to meet with those families where they had children that were killed. And then for her to be able and she's crying hysterically and then to be able to be like no compartmentalize it. Now I have to go on stage. I'm like I can't. Also a lot of people would be like I'm not meeting with the families before the show. It's gonna fuck me up. We find a different time. All I was thinking was before the show. No. She probably doesn't have time. And also I think that she also was like I need to do this. I need to see these people. And then did you see when she gets off stage she walks off stage straight into the car. Like there's no she's not changing. She's not stopping. She's just going. And as someone who sees a lot of people tour some people like tour is a party. I don't get that. And they have like 20 people with them at all times. Yeah. And there it's it's just a different kind of. She's an athlete. She's treated like a sport which is what we try to do. There's a lot of jobs that I would say that like men take and just make alcohol events. But then they try and say they're working. You're like nope. That's just you and your friends are getting drunk. And invented meetings. And invented. Yeah. Have you ever watched Mad Men? Yeah. All they do is have scotch and then like talk about the secretary for 20 minutes and then be like okay. And it's like why is there a male loneliness epidemic? One thing I have learned to motivate the giglers is like now that I'm in my 30s you know you deal with you're not like entry level job anymore. Yeah. So you talk to people that are like high up at companies. So scary. You guys no one knows what they're doing. No one. No one knows what they're doing. Like I hope this makes you feel better. Oh my recent flex though. Unless you work and let's be very clear. Unless you're like a lawyer or a doctor. Yeah. That type of profession. You guys are doing it. Unless you're honestly a woman in the field. But like there's just a lot of people that have just like been at the job for a while. They're there. Like they're not like they're not doing something crazy that you can't do. Have some belief in yourself. You were mentioning emails with men putting exclamation mark in emails. Now by the way I'm not part of a company. So don't do what I do because I like I'm an entrepreneur. Yep. My recent flex in emails is like no grammar. Have you noticed? So it looks like I'm because I actually am busy. Yeah. So like I respond like I'm so busy but I'm just barely getting the response out. Like like no period. You don't need to do your emails much. You're literally on every email I want. So I'll just be like. And you know what when I see Hannah respond I go oh Hannah respond. So this is when I say this works thank you and I'll be like all under case no period. I don't even put a space until my signature just works. Thank you. Hannah Brenner. Yeah. Because it's just like we're we're I'm not like hello thank you for regarding my last email to know we don't know I try and do that. Time is money. But then after I send that text or that email with no punctuation or I'm just like blunt ask the question. I'm like everyone thinks I'm a bitch. No I don't think that I think it's funnier though if you like have bad grammar and you're trying to be like sincerely when you're trying to be like more perfect. I know it doesn't make sense. I left that one. Do you know why because if your email has multiple paragraphs I'm not reading it. Also sue me. I'm throwing it in LOL every once in a while. I love it. And you love what Hannah says LOL because they're like page page. What do you think whatever I said LOL well look millennials are running stuff now so we can say LOL. Absolutely. It's mandatory. Can I say one more thing about game in. Yes it's my favorite topic. Jonathan Bailey who's the most handsome person in the world is his first gay sexiest man alive. And I think we're just acknowledging that first of all all men are probably gay. Yeah. So we might as well pick an out gay man now. I'm pretty sure we said last sexiest man alive that it should have been Jonathan Bailey. He's so attractive. Do you see when he really thinks something's funny and he like falls over. I'm like that's adorable. Are you like attracted to him like would you hook. Yeah. Okay. I'm also attracted to pretty much everyone in heated rivalry. Oh yeah. Who do you like more specifically the. Don't say the Russian. No. Okay. You know I don't like a blonde. You hate a blonde. Oh you like the hairy one. Yeah. Yeah. Because he looks a little Italian. Yeah. He's I love him. Is he gay in real life. He is. Which is crazy because he. But he's Canadian. I looked him up by the way the Russian guy in heated rivalry was every single one of my Russian coaches growing up. Is he gay in real life. I don't know. They haven't they haven't said it's like kind of part of the lore. Oh interesting. Yeah. So I just grew up with like handsome young Russian and Ukrainian tennis coaches in Brooklyn who like looking back now and like they were definitely hungover. They were partying having a good time. But I was they would just yell at me and I was nine years old and I'd be like can I have water Sergei and they'd be like no bend your knees. But they were all so hot. So I got some PSTP PSTP DSTP watching it. But my final thing about hockey men the reason I like them so much is because they are my type in that. They don't like you. They don't like me. Yeah. They don't they are so disgusted by me and I'm like oh I love that. Yeah. I stand around them they're like can you please just walk away. Yeah. I don't know what's attracted me to all my gay boy friends. I think just like hair and jawline. I think they're attracted to you because they want to be you and then you like attention. I think that's what it is. I thought I attracted them. Yeah. And then you like people who like you. So next you know you're just in it. I had a fun time in Mexico. Thank you for asking. Oh sorry. No I'm just kidding. It was literally three days. Yeah. Have you ever been able to go on a vacation and not have to leave early from work? It's hard. Yeah. It's hard because we don't we don't have we don't love work like balance on this podcast but I did have to leave to do this like shoot on Friday. That's like my face is in it. So I'm like this is perfect. Like I'm going to get a tan. Yeah. And I'm really excited. And then Des goes let's go snorkeling. By the way never snorkeling before. I'm from Brooklyn. You know snorkel. Snorkel. It's not sky. It's not sky diving. It's not scuba diving. It's not scuba diving. It's actually it's so funny because it you're underwater like it's it's intense and you have the little yeah your breathing underwater but if someone and you feel like you are scuba diving but if someone looks from the outside you're just lying in like the in like the beginning of the water. Yeah. Just like flapping around. Yeah. But it it's it was so beautiful. Just the two of you or was like a group of people. It was just the two of us who just went out and they're all these different colored fish and there was one pitch fish that was so page coded. It was like Navy with these beautiful polka dots. Oh my God. It was like polka perfectly. I was like every other fish was like these bright neon colors and this was like Navy polka dot just like and had these like cute lips. I was like oh my God this page like I'm going page fish like sorry I'm on holiday. She's on holiday. So I get out of the water and we take our goggles off. Yeah. Sorry I don't know words. Yeah. And he has like a mark on his forehead and I'm like hi Eva Mark and he's like so do you and we go we're eating and he's like by the way like the mark on your forehead is like not going away. I'm like that's weird and we get back to the town I look. I busted a blood vessel in my forehead because I snapped it too tight on my face because I was so afraid I was going to be drowned so I was like I need to make sure that we're going underwater so I made it too tight and snapped it. But the pressure you can't. Then like you're. You're letting him pop your fucking eyeball. No I know I popped a blood vessel in the middle of my forehead where like it was like all like it was. Oh wait you have a picture. No I was like that upset. It didn't I'll look and then we'll put in the newsletter but like I start freaking out because I'm like I can't show up to this gig with a huge red dot. Like I tried to put makeup on it wasn't working and it wasn't a bump like it didn't hurt it just something popped under my skin and it was like leaking. Awesome. So I love vacation. What did it does say? You're like this is a perfect time to emergency contact. Do anything. You're like fine I'll call my mom. I was like how the fuck did that happen to you? It didn't happen to me. That is so you though. That is so. If it would happen it it happened. Security program on spreadsheets. New regulations piling up. An audit dread. It's time for Vanta. Vanta automates security and compliance brings evidence into one place and cuts audit prep by 82 percent. Less manual work, clearer visibility, faster deals, zero chaos. Call it compliance or call it calm appliance. Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? This is your business. This is your business, supercharged with the help of zero counting software! This is you, taking business where you want with the help of zero counting software! This is your business������ This is your business, supercharged with the help of zero and having your numbers sorted all at the same time so you can finally focus on taking business where you want it! Supercharged your business today with the help of zero. Search zero with an X! Also, I'm so delusional. By the third day, I was convinced that I was fluent in Spanish. You know the first day, you're like, oh my God, I can't speak Spanish. And third day, I was like, I know what they're saying. Well, people say that you learn the fastest when you're immersed in it. I literally was like, I know what they're fighting. Interesting. I fully knew, I was like, well, this is my problem with Spanish. I was trying to learn grammar. Apparently you don't learn grammar first, you learn the words, grammar last, but in school they teach you grammar first. That's a digress, that's just. Did you see Kristen Stewart doing that interview being like, hey, let me ask you a question. Have you ever heard of a woman being a method actor? No, because it's not a thing. It's disrespectful and weird. It's so weird. It just says you have nothing going on at home. You can stay this person, you freak. That's like when Austin Butler became Elvis and he's still Elvis. Well, also it's definitely not ideal. It definitely throws everyone off on set when you're at crafty and you're like, excuse me, could I please have some more of the chips? It's like you're not Mick Jagger in real life. Like this is a biopic, chill out. Like if I was married to an actor and he came home and he was that same character. I'm like, you're not a toddler, we're not playing these pretend games anymore. I'd have to move out. I do think too with acting, which is kind of scary. Like, you know, he's ledger with the Joker. Yeah. They say like the way you think, you know, affects your life. And if you're in like a really dark character and you're constantly having these like negative thoughts, it does affect who you are as a person. People have had like really dark. But I was just so happy she said that because it's like. I love her. Because we had had that whole conversation where like men can talk so passionately about like their careers and about their jobs and like women can't because it's like, but you have kids like the same thing with like the Whitney Leavitt, like, but what are your kids doing? It's like, what? Well, I've been talking on stage about having kids and I'm like coming up with all these reasons why it could be difficult. And I literally just have been spurning out. I'm not a male comedian. I can't just have a family. No. No. I can't just have a family and then joke about my wife and kids on stage every night while my wife is like sowing her butthole and her vagina together again. Like there, people really don't talk about it. Like I'm type A, I love a plan. I love like, you know, sitting down and being like, what's the next five years? But like women have to do that. Like we have to plan our children because you all turn, everyone turns against you. It's like, oh, and I'm also planning on being invisible. Yeah. I'm literally planning my own downfall. I'm doing my own grave. It's very like out of body experience. And I do think it's important we talk about it because we are like second generation of any women having to deal with this. I called my mom crying when I realized I have to. I have to. I have to. I'm not calling my husband crying. You have to test her. Like is she gonna be perfect? She picked up. But I obviously was like, she's like, how are you? I'm like, good. She's like, are you sure? Like, actually. But I basically was crying about like, that I think I'm like, might become a mom one day. And I was so confused as to why I was crying. You know when you don't know why you're crying? And then I was like looking into it and they were like, oh, you're grieving your past self. Like I was literally crying over the death of my identity that I am now, that I still am. But I know I'm gonna lose. I had a man once I'm asked to move in together and I immediately started crying. Like, no. But it's also, it's not sad cause I'm gonna be that. It's just sad that you're not gonna be what you were. You didn't realize that at some point it was gonna be over. And it might be 100% better, but it's just still like sad to lose anything. And it probably will be. Yeah. It's just scary. And I know male comedians whose wife have had a baby and the next day they're on stage working out material. Like leaving their wife at home. The same as like graduating college and then you're going into the real world and you're like, it probably will be better. But this is all I know. And what do you mean we don't have a mixer on Friday night? Like it's just like it's a different- You're so L Woods. You're so L Woods. But you know what? I wanna say something positive. It motivates me. Seeing the alleywongs and- Well, it also is like, how is there even a debate that men or women, that men are better than women? It's like, guys, we have kids. I actually said this earlier to someone. I can't wait for Gen Z to be at the age where they're having children cause they're gonna get some things done. Them with their tight, tight boundaries and they have a headache, they must leave. I'm so pumped for them to get into the position of like people being rude because they're moms or like their job's changing because they're pregnant. Cause I can't wait for them to be like, hold on. A man could literally never. So you're not telling me anything. Well, yeah, I face the thing where it's like, okay, I can just accept that other male comedians in standup will ascend past me after I have kids. But then I stop and I go, actually, no, I'm gonna keep my foot in these bitches' necks because it's gonna be difficult and it's gonna be hard. And I am lucky because I have a mom who's gonna help me. Women can't even post their after-baby body without the internet being like, fuck you. Like if you post your after-baby body and you like lost weight, people are like, how dare you, not the norm. But if you post it and it's like, and you didn't lose weight, it's like, well, why don't you think about your health? Like there is no right thing for women. Also why I feel like female comics are so interesting, like why people wanna hear Leanne Morgan talk because I'm like, I wanna hear a woman who's had, who has three grandchildren and three babies and has dealt with her husband. And like that's fascinating to me. Like I don't wanna hear another dude like make like sly comments about his wife that you know is like so annoyed with him. Like you're not, like she's annoyed with you. You're not the cool one on stage right now. She's like, oh, he's doing his little jokes. Speaking of boundaries, have you seen TikTok, this drama about Salad Core? Like a little bit. Do you know that I live right next to a Salad Core? Which I would- Apparently it's like Pilates, but I'm like- I don't even dare look at it. Apparently it's Pilates, but like super intense. I'm scared and I'm working on like loving myself, so I haven't been going. So this guy, who by the way needs to get cast in reality TV, like if someone doesn't cast him, they're bonkers. He's this gay guy in Dairy in Connecticut. I first saw him because he was just talking about what the Equinox Steam Room is like and just talking about how married men were trying to hook up with him the whole time, which we have a theme for the pod today. Wait, the Equinox Steam Room downtown? In Dairy in Connecticut. Because the Equinox- Yeah, it's all the Equinoxes. Equinox. Everyone's gay. He basically was like this guy fully, was like flirting with him for six months, showing him his dick, has a wife. So he shows up to, he clearly loves Solid Core more than anything. And he shows up to Solid Core at 6 a.m. The instructor's not there. But the door, he has like a login, the door's open, he goes in and he's filming it and he like starts giving himself a private lesson at Solid Core because he loves Solid Core. And then the instructor comes in late and they're just laughing, whatever. He posts the video, Solid Core starts freaking out. Like can you take it down? His friend messaged him. But why are they freaking out? Because he was in there by himself. Yeah, and it makes them look unprofessional. And he literally then films a video being like, fuck you, Solid Core, for like telling my friend to tell me to take it down. You're so unprofessional, it goes off. Then next day, shows up at the Solid Core class. The 6 a.m. class. Filming it. And you're here to let him be like, hey. That's all I saw, like, hey. And he was like, sorry about the video. Yeah, he goes, sorry about the video. And then I just heard her say, well, my probation. So she's going to say, well, my probation makes me apologize to you or something. So he's in like a full feud with this Solid Core, but he keeps showing up because he loves Solid Core so much. He's like, they could punch my mom in the face and I would still show up to the Solid Core class. So everyone's like. What is it? Is it like? It's hardcore Pilates. OK, so you're not like running or anything? No, no, no. It's Pilates, but just like a more intense. So people in the comments are so funny because they're like, I know, I feel like this is a Solid Core ad. I just can't put my finger on it. But then everyone's like, I want to have the boundaries and how he's dealing with. Well, he is not a people pleaser. He's dealing with conflict like so well. But the thing is he is just he is a man. Yeah, which helps. But everyone's just watching how he's just walks into a class. Like I would move out of the state. Yeah. If I got anyone's mad at me. Well, because if it was a girl, that would be girl on girl. Girl crime. Mean girl, mean girl. He's hilarious. He's a star. Put him on reality TV. Yeah. But yeah, the misogyny of men getting away with so many horrible things. And a girl will do one thing that's like off color or like something every girl's done. Yeah. And we're like, she's a monster. She's a monster. She's evil. So anyway, you're all perfect. We love you guys so much. We do have some announcements coming up, but just stay posted. I can't wait to get them. I guess I'll see it on email. Sounds like a lawnmower, doesn't it? But it's actually the sound of someone's dream coming true. What's better than knowing that this tiny patch of turf is yours and nobody else's? Is it time to make you remove? At Lloyd's, we are ready when you are. Britain's number one direct lender for first time buyers. Mortgages on Lloyd's. Bank on Lloyd's. Based on total value of lending July to December 2025 to verify, see Lloyd's Bank dot com slash bank on Lloyd's. Security program on spreadsheets. New regulations piling up. An audit dread. It's time for Vanta. Vanta automate security and compliance, brings evidence into one place and cuts audit prep by 82%. Less manual work, clearer visibility, faster deals, zero chaos. Call it compliance or call it calm appliance. Get it? Join the 15,000 companies using Vanta to prove trust. Get started at Vanta.com slash calm.