#2424 - Jelly Roll

The Joe Rogan Experience. Showing by day Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. I just really feel like you might have a chance here to like really help some people that were big. You know what I mean? Like that in this pod we might have a chance to like. One million percent. So I brought a bunch of notes about what I went through so don't look at me like a super nerd today. No man. I want to help people dude. I just man I never thought I'd lose this way. I like a dude with notes. Especially a dude who lost 300 fucking pounds. Let's go baby. Let's go. Look at you dude. Dude I feel great. You should feel great. I feel really really good dude. You're a totally doing human being. It is man. You know what's crazy? I don't want to get super spiritual out of the gate but I will because I think God wants me to right now because you're saying that. There's a scripture in the Bible that says in Christ all things are a new creation which I thought was interesting because it didn't talk about restoring the old. It says that in God we are completely new creation. You know what I mean? So like I was looking at it at first like I'm restoring my heart but then when you're saying that I'm like no I didn't restore my heart. I got a whole new heart. This is a brand new heart Joe. You know what I mean? Yeah. It might be cloaked as the old one but God touched it. It's a whole new heart baby. Well it's a different heart. Every seven years doesn't every cell in your body get replaced by new cells? Isn't that what the number is? That's crazy. It happens on the whole new number. Throw that into our sponsor Proplexity and find out that's nonsense. But I think that's true. I think that's what happens. So you do have a chance to be a new human being. And think that it would happen on a whole new number like that. It's a myth. God damn it. No. Shit. Every seven years a myth different cell types have very different lifespans and some last a lifetime. I think neurons last a lifetime. Seven year figure is a rough average estimate of cell age. Oh okay. So it's not a total myth. Not a fixed cycle where everything swapped out all at once. Some tissues renew very fast while others renew slowly or hardly at all which averages out to several years if you look at all the cells together. So intestinal lining cells renew every two to five days. Wow. Stectal lining turns over roughly every two to nine days. Skin surface cells replace roughly every few weeks. Liver cells are typically renewed on time scales of many months up to a few years. Bone cells take up to a decade to fully remodel the skeleton. Muscles and cells. Anyway, cells are changing all the time. God it's crazy. It's constantly renewing baby. Yeah. Feels good man. A whole different human. We were talking about it when I first came to your club I couldn't even walk all the way up the steps without stopping like every seventh step. Today was my, me and Cam did my first 10k yesterday. We did a little bit over. We did six, five. So today was recovery run day. I did two and a half miles. Just having a conversation with you while you're swinging kettle bells. I was like look at who I am. I'm the old, new guy. Yeah. Just chilling doing two and a half miles on a treadmill. Just chatting. Just watching the Peter Yon fight again. And you, you have a nice pace. You got a casual doing it. I feel good. Yeah. You could tell you've been working. You know, it's not like a new thing. It's not as acclimated to it. You could really tell. It's like, and I heard Tony Robbins once say that we grossly overestimate what we can do in a year and we underestimate what we can do in a decade. And for people that might be listening to this that are dealing with severe obesity, I want to give you this game. You will grossly overestimate what you can do in 90 days, but underestimate and what you can do in a year when it comes to your health. Like it was right around my 30, I turned 41 three days ago and it was right around my 39th birthday that I started really considering taking the step to try to make a major change in my life. And I thought about it around my birthday because I knew my next one was 40. You know what I mean? And I was like, I don't think I've ever met a 500 pound 40 year old. They don't, you know what I mean? Around very often. Usually that's when they, it's about it. It's about it. It's about it. No, that's when it, and it felt like I'd already cheated the game. I'd had multiple heart issues, you know? And I was like, man, I should, I should really start trying to figure this out. I felt like I could feel myself dying, Joe, you know, and it was crazy because I spent most of my life thinking that I, when I get to this point or did I, I never thought I get to this point. We'll start there as far as success, but I even your hands look smaller. You have new hands. I've had to change my or ring size five times in this process. I literally, I've changed clothes for two years straight. I'm looking at your hands a look. He has different size of hands. Oh, dude, it's crazy. It's crazy. Everything, dude. I haven't seen you in how long it's been at least a year and a half. It's been a year and a half. We did the pod. I was, I was in this pod bragging about being 420 pounds because I'd lost 120 pounds. And I was in here excited about those 120, you know? And I would have never guessed that I've lost a Ilya Taporia since then. You know what I'm saying? I've lost a whole nother. It's a whole nother. When my chef said it best, he said, when Charles Oliveira fell off of Michael Chandler's back, that was what you lost in the last, since the last time you've seen Joe. It'd be like if a Michael Chandler just jumped off your shoulders. Isn't that crazy? It's crazy, Joe. It's crazy. When I go walk with my dog, I put a 45 pound plate on a pack. And when I get done with the walk, I take it off. I'm like, whew, that ain't shit. You were walking around with an extra 300 fucking pounds. Kim said this yesterday. It was so funny. He said, you know why you're inspiring so many people? He said, think about how much David Goggins inspired people because he went from 300 pounds to getting in shape. He said, and you've lost David Goggins at his biggest. I'd never even thought of it that way. I was like, wow. I was like, yeah, that's a whole. You lost a whole David Goggins. My surgeon said I have 35 pounds of skin on me now. Wow. I mean, you've seen it. I showed you my stuff. But it's like, it's crazy, dude. That's crazy. It's just 30 pounds, five pounds of extra skin. Just extra skin. That's crazy. It's just hanging off the front of me right now. Whoo. If somebody said, doesn't that hurt? I was like, not as bad as the 500 that was hanging. I'll take these 35 over that all day, dude. Way, way fair exchange. So what was, you knew you were doing bad. You knew your body was not, it was not going to be able to function at that weight for very much longer. And so what was the pivotal moment where you made this decision? This is why I wanted to do this with you. Thank you for letting me have this space. Because this is what I want people to hear, is that every time I thought I had a critical moment, it was an emotional moment. So I'd get all fired up. I've been trying to lose this weight my whole life. And I'd yo-yo 50, 70 pounds down, go back up. Me and my nutritionist, Ian Laurels, were looking at notes yesterday. I spent most of 2022 between 480 and 560 pounds, like that year. That's how much I fluctuated just a year up in my own. Damn, 560s so bad. Crazy. You know, so it's like, I was just such a, so when I sat down to try to lose it this time, I said, I'm going to take a different approach. I'm going to really take my time with it. And I'm going to think about what I'm doing and be intentional. I'm not going to let it be an emotional thing where you just jump up and go, I'm going to go run into D and do do do. And I was like, let me, let me figure this out. And clearly I've dealt with drug addiction. So I was like, maybe there's something here. Like how come I actually have this in my notes. Overeating wasn't a failure of willpower for me. It was a biological loop that I didn't know how to interrupt. That's a good way to put it. You know what I mean? That's good. The problem with food addiction, as opposed to every other addiction, is that you have to keep doing the thing you're addicted to. You have to. And it's everywhere. Not that crack isn't everywhere and heroin isn't everywhere. That's not heroin on this table. You know what I'm saying? There's a cookie on here somewhere. Food is something that you need to sustain you, to keep alive. Like imagine if you were a gambling addict, but you had to play a few hands of blackjack every day. Every day. That's crazy. Like you had to. You have to stay alive. You can imagine I started with that mentality. I said, well, the first thing I'll do is, let me, you know, how can I cut back how much I'm eating? And less eating periods. But the first thing I did was started, every time I said I was going to lose the weight, I said, I lied to myself. We talked about this. I would tell myself, I'm going to do this. I'm going to go do that. And then I'd go tell my family that. So the lie started with me, though. You know, there's a big person listening to this right now, or a drug addict, or somebody who wants to change some part of their life that right now is going, I'm going to start next Monday, you know, or I'm going to start Friday, or I'm going to start, they have a start date. They, you know, they, and then that Monday comes and they never do it. I told you, I was like, every other fat fuck, even when I finally did it on Friday, I was like, Monday, we could have a change in my life. And I was like, but I had an idea. I was like, I'm not cutting out food. I'm not dealing with nothing crazy. I'm going to do two small things first. I'm going to cold plunge because I've been watching Dana White do it and it seems to be working for him. That's how just naive I was to the whole thing. First, I was like, Dana's cold plunging. He got in shape. I was like, and I reached out to Gary immediately, like right around that 39th birthday, I reached out to Gary Brecken. I just sent a message to Brecken Blind and said, do you work with fat people? I hadn't seen a real case study of fat people yet. And lucky for me, Alina, their daughter, him and Sage's daughter was a country music fan. So she comes in like, you ever heard of Jelly Roll? And they're like, no, she's like, you got to listen to this song and then you got to help them. So Gary called and Gary was like, and I said, Gary, I'm going to start, but he said, just start by trying to get 10,000 steps a day and getting a cold plunge. I'm like, dude, I'm 520 pounds. Gary, 10,000 steps a day is crazy tall. But I got in the cold plunge for six minutes and I would go for a half mile walk. That first Monday comes, Joe, it is pissing rain. Pissing rain. I mean, cats and dogs, dude. And I wake up and I'm like, shit. And I've been studying about lying to yourself that when you tell yourself you're going to do something and you don't do it, your body then starts to know that you don't mean what you say. So now when you tell your body to do something, your body looks at you like, bitch, you ain't never met what you said to me. I've never followed through. What the fuck? You think I'm going to run because you tell me to run, dude? You lie to me all the time. And I was in that concept and I came out that morning dressed up in my stuff and I was like, man, that rains pretty hard in my family. And this wasn't them being a lack of support, Joe. This was just, I think this was me lying to them for so many years, you know, that they wanted to save me my shame again and my embarrassment. And they go, it's okay. I think my wife's like, it's okay, papa. Or my daughter was like, just wait till the rain quits or do it on the treadmill or something. In my mind, I was like, no, I'm going outside, you know? And I was like, I'm done lying to you all and I'm done lying to me. I told y'all I was going to go do this walk and I'm going to do this walk. I didn't want to get emotional this early. But I'm good. There's nothing wrong with emotions, brother. I'm coming. I'm coming back from that walk and I'm coming up my driveway. It's up a big hill. I'm bringing a camel to it. It's a huge hill and I'm coming up the driveway to the hill and all my family's out there. Jeremy on. Clapping. Hands up. I've done nothing but lie to them for years about this way. I had done nothing. I had never proved to them that I was going to change without being a man of my word in any regard. They had every reason not to go out there and cheer me on. And that was like a big moment. That was the moment, you know? Where I was like, damn. And I realized that in addiction, the family will kind of cater to the addict. It's nature. You know, like if somebody in your family was a drug addict, you would help with their kids or you would feel a need to help in their absence. It's what we do as a family. It's human nature. And I realized then how much my addiction had been hurting his family. You know, how much that my sex life with my wife was horrible. Dude, I married a fucking big titty blonde beautiful woman, dog. You know what I mean? Like I married the kind of woman that makes you smile when you're crying, you know? And I couldn't even get aroused. I was so big. I mean, I was having to play, I was having to play Twister to have sex. Left foot here, right foot in the X, you know? Are we in there yet? Tell me if you feel something. I mean, it was bad. You know, my daughter, I think about my son. You know, my brother would have to go throw football with him. I was too big to throw the football. And I was like, that's what my addiction has done to these people. And here they are cheering for me. Oh, dude, we're turning up. We're fucking, we're, we're, we're gonna figure this out. So then I knew it was a mental thing. And I read a book called The Fox, The Horse, The Molen Boy. You ever heard of this book? No. It's a children's book. I mean, if you don't mind pulling it up, because it's just, it's just, it's somebody kind of recreated Winnie the Pooh, but for my art kids, you know? And it was a children's book. And I opened it up and it has a moment where it goes, yeah, the boy, the fox and the m- Oh, I have seen this. Yeah. You want to talk about a seven minute read that will change your life. But there's a quote in there that goes, I forgot if it was the mole, but the fox or something looks at the horse and goes, what's the hardest thing you've ever done in your life? The horse goes, ask for help. Mmm. Yeah. It's just all these like really cool little things. But when he said ask for help, I was like, wow, I need to ask for help. It's like whenever I was addicted to drugs and I had to walk in that room for the first time and go, I don't have control. So I called a company called OnSight that does therapy. And I went and spent two weeks with a lady named Mary B who wrote the curriculum for food addiction in the world. Like she is a 80 something year old woman with glasses, sweet soul of a woman. And we locked in the cabin and she said, we're going to figure out what this is. And I spent, I'd say maybe two or three weeks in this cabin with this sweet old woman. And it was like no phone out in the woods. I walked every day. I played with the horses. I mean, I just went late in grass. And it really took me all the way back through all my years. And it was the first time that I didn't just try to rush to lose the weight. I tried to figure out why I was carrying the weight. And that's whenever I figured out that overeating for me wasn't a failure of a discipline. I'm a pretty disciplined guy. It was just a biological thing I hadn't learned how to interrupt. I'd been doing it my whole life. It had been my constant go to for stress. It was everywhere all the time. I was eating for, I had to start figuring out what I was actually hungry for. You know, like when we talk about obesity, Joe, there's groups. Like if you're 340 pounds here, 330 pounds here, you know, it's, depending on your height, of course, you might be dealing with a discipline issue. Maybe you just like extra food. We can make small changes and get that off. You start getting over 300, 320. You start, that starts being morbid obesity. Like there starts to be a real thing there, you know? And I'm seeing it more now because I talked to 10s, 20s of guys that are over 500 pounds that have reached out to me like, please, what is this magic Yoda? You know what I mean? I'm like, consistency is the magic. But one, once I realized why I was eating, 80, here's the note I took from therapy. I had, I took, had my wife translate all my notes from when I was out there. And it goes change, first of all, you change the way you think and talk. But because 80 to 90% of compulsive eating happens between the ears, not the teeth. So the average obese person is that big. And I learned this from her is that they're only eating 20% of what they're thinking about eating. This is an all day loop that's in your head. It's like a drug addiction. You know, I used to walk in, me and Schultz laughed about this. I used to walk in rooms and scan. Like I would walk in a room like the predator. Like I would, I would do one thing like the terminator and be able to look you and I and be like, there's a bowl of Snickers on that counter. There's two M&Ms over here. They have some Lay's potato chips over there. Like I knew my way. It was mostly sugar? All sugar. Man, you were talking about dude, sugar. What process food? I, I didn't, you know, they said, so Gary was like, get on a keto diet or a whole food diet at first. And I was like, I don't think I ate whole foods now at all. Anyways, I think I just eat processed foods with maybe protein in it. You know, I mean, I don't do that. Have an eight a piece of bread, except for Thanksgiving in two years. Joe, I was color blind. We talked about this. Yeah, this is a crazy story. This is a true story. I, my wife will tell you this is the she laughs about it now. But I couldn't see, I seen shades of colors, like I general concepts, but like Hunter Green, Emerald Green, like what greens green to me. I never realized there was nuances and prettiness and that somewhere brighter and tone different. I just seem them like shades. So bad that like that's why I wore black. Johnny Cass was a lot of it, but to, you know, I'd always have to ask people to buy shoes match. You know, I was always off. Dude, I'd say nine months into no sugar. I start, I think I forgot what it was, but it was a planet our house. And I come outside and I grab my wife and I go, dude, how long have we had that pretty purple tulip there or whatever it was? And she goes, what? I was like, that is the prettiest purple plant I've ever seen. She was like, you've walked by that plant for two years. What are you talking about? I was like, there's no way we've had a plant that pretty. I didn't notice it for two years. It was bright purple, Joe. I mean, it was screaming Holy road purple. And slowly I started looking around the next few days and over the next months, I was like, I'm seeing clear color. I couldn't quit talking about it. I bought coloring books. My wife was laughing. This bitch used to have to give me a tata mask to go to court. You know what I'm saying? And I'm in there coloring. You know what I'm saying? She's like, what are you doing? I was like, you want a color? And I've got like 300 color and pencil set. I was in a deer blout with Cam Hain talking his face off about a bird yesterday. He goes, I didn't know you liked birds like that. I was just, I like color. He was like, really? I was like, yeah, I didn't see color for like 20 years. I was like, it is awesome. It had to have been the sugar. It must have been, it must have been just rampant inflammation through your whole body, massive lack of nutrients. And your body probably was like, fuck colors. Let's just keep this dude alive. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, fuck colors. Just keep him alive. Damn. This episode is brought to you by On X Hunt Hunters. Listen up. Millions of hunters use the On X Hunt app and here's why. It turns your phone into a GPS that works anywhere, even without cell phone service. You'll see exactly where you are, every property line and who owns the land. You can connect your cellular trail cams, drop custom waypoints, dial in the wind and a whole lot more. Whether you're chasing elk on public, finding the back corners of your deer lease or knocking on doors for permission. On X Hunt gives you the knowledge and confidence to make every hunt more successful. No more second guessing boundaries, wasting daylight or wondering what's over the next ridge. You'll know every single step. The best hunters aren't lucky. They're prepared. This is how you get there. So before your next hunt, get On X Hunt, download it today and use the code JRE for 20% off your membership at onxhunt.com. I'd never planned on living, Joe, like ever. Like it was never in my plan, like of life. Even as I was getting successful, I was like coming out here and like life was getting good for me. And in my mind, I was like, okay, good. When I die, at least my kids might be okay and they won't be ashamed of me. Wow. That's how I was thinking, Joe. I was literally thinking that way. In my mind, I was just pushing like if I could just get this machine down a little bit, my kids won't be ashamed of me. They won't have to be the dad. At least their daddy died of obesity because he had mental health issues, but he was a cool fucking dude, man. He did some cool stuff, you know? And it was like, I never would have thought I could have this kind of life. I never thought I could, even when I sat here and talked to you before, in my mind, I was thinking, man, I probably never see Joe again. I was thinking, you know, it'll probably go any day for me. You know what I mean? Like my heart could quit any day. I could relapse and overdose. I'm not thinking right most of the time. You know? To like sit here and look at you now like, dog, I'm going to be a 70 year old man with you, Bubba. You know what I'm saying? Like dog, you know what I'm saying? Like it's going to be cool. You was talking about my, you mind if I run through these for a second? Yeah, please. Let me preface this. So because I want to talk about the labs. You were talking about my inflammation, but I got with Gary Breck and I did a blood test. And this is something else I encourage big people to do. And your basic provider will pay for it more often than not. If you have just like a standard insurance, just tell them you want to run a just standard blood lab, but tell them instead of just your A1C, this is important. You want to see your insulin level because I was diabetic, but I wasn't insulin resistant. So my diabetic marker when I first got checked was a 6.4, okay? Which is the threshold of what being a diabetic is. The prediabetic. The last point of being a pre-diabetic is 6.4. And I thought that when you are, when your blood work says you're a prediabetic for 15 years, whatever, you know what I mean? Like they said not going to kill me or nothing. I've had, yeah, that's what it said last time. I'm fine. And finally they checked for my insulin. It was over 40 Joe. It was like insane. And I don't want to get this wrong. Was it supposed to be? It's like under five. Oh Jesus. Yeah. So what happens is when your body goes to burn, when you fast, it has to burn through all your insulin before it'll start burning through your reserved fat. So when you're at that high of an insulin level in your blood, you're having a fast, so you're hardly ever getting to the resort fat burners because it's just constant insulin. So, and this is where G01Ps come in. It's been a great time to talk about this. So Gary goes, hey man, your insulin's high. We'll just give you a shot and this will change all this. And I was like, cool, send it, whatever, I'll try it. And then my wife's manager Mimi started the shot, did wonders for her, but she had the worst stomach issues. I have a bad stomach. I started calling people and going, hey man, how's this shot working? I was like, dude, we're losing weight. Food noise is gone. You got to try it. I was like, what's the side effect? There's like one bad side effect. It tears your gut up. And I was, I had a, so I had bad reflux. I mean, you know, that's the worst thing a singer can have. Nothing is worse for us than reflux. So I got scared of it. So I called Gary and I was like, Gary, I can't do it. I'm afraid of it. So then I started doing research and I was like, well, if I'm not going to do this, I'm going to have to fast to get my insulin levels down a lot. So I was fast and I was losing like next to no weight. And I was doing the right thing. And as a big dude, that's the most encouraging thing, discouraging thing is when you're actually not lying to people. Because, you know, as a fat person, I'm programmed a lot like a drug addict, like, what did you eat today? Oh, grilled chicken and salads. And I just ate seven Snickers, you know? So it was like, oh, I brush it off like a big thing. My nutritionist would come in and be like, did you eat something last night after I left? I'd be like, yeah, yeah, I just ate a little bit, not bad, just a little bit, a little bit bad. But I wouldn't quantify what a little bit bad was. It was, you know, it's like, so I was just, you know, I wanted to start being way, way more honest about everything in the process. And that was probably the biggest thing. So I would not lose the weight. And I'm like, I promise you, Ian, I didn't eat nothing but what you handed me, Bubba. He's like, just stick with it. And I just stayed with it, stayed with it. And then Gary got turned into Gary Brecker and took over the world. And I was lucky for me. I bumped into your friend, a guy named Brigham down here in Texas. And he introduced me. You met Denise, right? Then he... Sure. I love her. This lady's the lady who really... Gary started this journey for me and I'll never be able to think of enough for it, but she brought it home. And Gary probably would have, but she had a brick and mortar and was just easier to get to. Gary travels the world. And I go to her and she goes, she runs my blood again. And my insulin got down to like 37 by fasting. And she goes, you're against the GO1Ps, aren't you? And I was like, well, I made it this far and I don't want to do it with an asterisk now. Now it's just stubbornness. At first it started out of a fear. Now I'm just fucking stubborn, you know? And this is where I don't want to add anything that I did do because I think it'll help people. She said there's an alternative. She said, if you took a fourth of a dose of metformin, which is 2,000 milligrams is what they would prescribe, a diabetic one. Let's say we give you 500 milligrams, which is a real low dose once a day, until we just see this marker go down. She said it might take a year because we're not trying to rush it and throw a bunch of GO1s at it. We're like, we're just... We're gonna do this really slow. And that's what we did. And the first month I listened to her and I was losing, you know, I think I looked at all the ENCE notes today. We were losing like, you know, four to six pounds a month. Then it got up to that 12 and 13, that number we were looking for. You know what I mean? Of what we expect from a guy my size. But it was just that easy. Now my insulin... So I said all that to give you this. Oh, I'm so excited about this, Joe. My insulin was over 40. My insulin two weeks ago at Waze the Whale with Dr. Denise was 4.6. My A1C was crazy, right? And that was just... We've only been on the metformin for a year in November. So I think we're gonna come off of it now. A1C was 6.4. It's now 5.4, which that marker is a three month average of your blood sugar. Like that's a real number to move that much. I know it doesn't seem like a big number in a year, but that's like crazy. My C-reactive was like in the sixes and it's 1.2 now. That's an inflammation marker. Vitamin D, while I was getting sick all the time, was a 28. Vitamin D is at 100. This was the big one too. And this is where... You say, are you natty? I say, no, sir. Absolutely not. I'm a 40 year old male. There's no way I was going to be natty. My testosterone was one of a pre-juvenile child when you're that big. It was in the 50s. Geez. And you know, it should be in like the 750s. My free test was 2.3 Joe Rogan. My free test, you know what it is today? 149. I fucking... You remember that problem we talked about with my wife? Not anymore. I'm walking around the house like a tiger. I'm throwing over my shoulder like a caveman and just throwing her on the bed every time I see her. You know what I'm saying? It is awesome. And it's... These were... And I encourage people that like, if you can get your blood checked, there might be something there. You know what I mean? It might not be something big. I still could have lost the weight without the metformin, but it might have took another year. You know what I mean? If I would have just had to keep nicking it down a pound a week because I was just having to get that insulin down so slowly. And that helped a ton and the test, of course, helped bring it because my estrogen was so high, my test was so low. I finally got the estrogen down and the test up so the fat starts burning. I'd done the mental work. I'd started really figuring out like why I was eating the way I was eating because once I recognized the pattern, my three Rs changed it for me. It was reset, reconnect, reengage. So every time I would go into my pantry to eat something because I'm a binge eater, I'd stop. My therapist taught me this, that on-site. I'd stop and I'd reset. So I'd step out. First thing, get out of the pantry. I have no business in here. Bad place for me. Go somewhere I'm safe where I can connect. Near my wife or somewhere safe. Reconnect. What was you in a pantry for? What version of you? What storyline of yours walked in that pantry? Was it 15-year-old Jilly that thought he was a gangbanger and thought he was a thug that was just trying to be cool? There was actually a sad little boy that couldn't connect with people? Is that the boy that just walked in there and tried to eat some cookies? Or is this a 39-year-old man that's stressed from work? I tell you what you're not in there eating the cookies for is because you need them. You just ate a great meal. You feel fucking awesome. You know what I'm saying? Like there's nothing about that cookie that's good for you. And also, Jason, you're not a one cookie kind of guy. You know what I'm saying? You're going to go eat the bag of cookies. And then I reconnect. Then I reengage. Because sometimes you go through all that and you go, you know what though? I was thinking in there, but I do need to go grab the salt. Just go in there and grab the salt and get out. Where I'm so programmed, back to old storylines, I've been going into the pantry to eat bad for so many years. I walk in there and forget what I'm in there for. I have to because if I sit there long enough, then it's like, oh, there's some stuff that you can eat that does nothing. Like if you just want to munch on something, man, get some celery and some radishes. Those motherfuckers have like zero calories. Raspberry and blueberries were a big one for me. They don't have zero calories. They have calories. But you could eat like a bucket of. Before you get into the hundreds of calories. If you want to have some like raspberries with some salt on them or not some raspberries rather, some radishes with some salt on them and some celery, there's nothing in that. You just eat it and you don't have to worry at all. You're just getting some fiber and some nutrients. Pickles. Pickles are great. Pickles are another one I'd get on to. Yeah. Early. Like if you get like good fermented pickles, they're actually good for your gut. Yeah. I did all the cheats early. So like, but when I say cheats, like I was hungry, so I go to my nutritionists and go, amen, just feed me whatever looks like the most food, you know, fluff it up. You know what I mean? Like just I want a big serving of food because it's my thing. And the cool thing is now I'm in a place where I'm looking for density. Like my relationships changed that much with food. Now I'm looking like, yo, what is like, do I have to eat this? Is there enough protein in this or can I only eat half of it? And not because I have the weird relationship with food other ways. Now I'm just really feeding myself for what I need. Right. You know what I mean? Like I'm actually have a healthy relationship with food now, Joe. Like I look at it and it's not unhealthy in a way that was like, if you cooked a big steak right now, like you want one, I'd be like, yeah, absolutely. I don't want to miss a bell steak with Joe. I'm down. I'm not weird. If we went to dinner, I'd eat, you know what I mean? I just wouldn't eat bread. Right. There's just certain things I haven't. It's like a drug addict thing for me. It's like there's just certain things I just can't do no matter what. Yeah. The bread is the one bread and pasta are the one. Why does it have to be the ones that are so God damn delicious? All the good stuff, dude. Oh, oh, so delicious. But I learned how to make all the good stuff better, by the way, like not better, but Larios is really so a lot of my weight losses come from. Like I used to always hear you say that you got into podcast and then talking to people about stuff you were just interested in, like conversations you just thought were cool. And then I thought about that's like the approach to life. You know what I mean? It's like get like, dig it, do it, you know, find all inspiration from there. Right. So I was watching. Great. Dig it, do it. If you dig it, do it. Yeah, you know, do it. And I was watching USC one night, which I'm a fan to. And I was this was six years ago. And I was like, I wonder who's helping these guys get on the scale. You know what I mean? I was like, most of these fighters are poor, not in a bad way. You know, they're coming up. I was like, I bet I bet I could pay equal pay. This was six years ago. I was like, I wonder who it is. And I got introduced to George Lockhart. Okay. You know what I mean? Which famously him and Mike Dochey, I think are kind of both famously known for the guys who created the weight cutting protocol of today. You know, and I call him, he's in Georgia for the holidays. He drives up to Tennessee to see me. We ended up hanging out Georgia. Me or buddies to this day. And you know, Georgia's like, let me find you a guy. And that's how he found me. Ian Laureos, who just came in to do nutrition. As he did a bunch of bully bees camps, but he's been with me. People say I had somebody tell me this, Joe. They said, uh, well, of course you lost the weight. It's easy. You got money. You know what I mean? I was like, buddy, money can't make you run these six miles. No, everybody who says that is just making an excuse for why they haven't done it themselves. You can never say, of course you did it. You have this just fucking do it. Just go do it. Just do it. And yeah, it's going to be hard. And especially if your hormones are all fucked up and your insulin levels all fucked up, it's going to be hard, but you can do it. Well, the biggest thing too is stick with it, Joe. Yes. That's my heart, y'all. It's like, that's why I said, give yourself one year, not three months. Because if I'd have gave myself three months, I'd have been upset. I didn't lose enough weight. It didn't go the way it's supposed to go. I went back into my shame spiral. We were talking about this. My whole thing was stress, overwhelm, food, shame, repeat. That's what I did. Yeah. I lived in that spiral. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's like, uh, I've been working hard. I'm not getting it. Sad me. I'm going to go to the pantry and punish myself. You know, I'm never going to lose this weight where it's like, if I'd have just waited for the year and really said, no, man, I'm going to go birthday to birthday. Which is why when me and Cam ran on this birthday of mine, it was so important to me because I was like two birthdays ago. It was the first day I even thought about changing my life. You know, and even last birthday, I was 400, you know, 380 pounds. And now this birthday, I'm, I'm running a 5k with Cam Haynes. You know what I'm saying? Like, dude, y'all can change it. If you hated your birthday this year, just give yourself a year. You know what I mean? You have a whole different birthday. It's hard for people because they want immediate gratification. You know, they really want it all to happen immediately, especially in the society that we exist in today, where everything, I mean, this is why GLP ones are so enticing for people because you can get immediate gratification. You know, and sometimes you got to just, you got to focus on little victories. These little tiny victories. Today I didn't eat cake. That's a little victory, you know, and momentum is everything. It's like that first day when your family was cheering you. That's what it's all about. It's all about you did it. You went out in the rain when you didn't want to. You did it. You came back. Now you've got momentum. You have that good feeling of success and that will enable you to continue to chase that good feeling. That's the good, that's the good addiction. Right. I'm clearly addicted to exercise. If I take a couple of days off, I don't feel right. Right. If I take a day off, I feel weird. I feel squirrely. I got all this extra fucking, fucking weird shit. Leave me alone. You know what I mean? I get weird. I get weird, man. I get weird. I feel weird if I don't do it. And I know people like, that's horrible. You do something wrong with you. Sure. But it's a good thing wrong with me. I'm addicted to a good thing. Right. I'm addicted. I'm addicted to staying healthy. You know, they say, they say addicts addiction swap. Oh yeah. Yeah. I've never had a bad addiction, fortunately, but I've had a bunch of addictions. You know, I've had like video game addictions. I'm addicted to playing pool. I was addicted to martial arts, but I've been addicted to like things that are beneficial, luckily, luckily. But I'm scared of all the other ones. I know that I know it's the same thing. How much of that do you think is played a part in your idle money lies in your current account, picking crumbs out of its belly button? Wondering, should I eat them? But when you start investing with Monzo, your money's always busy. It turns on regular investments, invests your spare change and tops up your stocks and shares, Iso. It even helps you make sense of risk and return. Monzo, the bank that gets your money moving. You could get back less than you invest. Monzo current account required UK residents, 18 plus T's and C's apply. Environment and friend group. It's huge, huge. Because if you can get around a bunch of other people that are addicted to good things, then you're all just doing good things and you're all feeding off of each other. Yeah. That's it's everything, man. You imitate your atmosphere always. This is why I can't be around negative people. I just, I'm too sensitive and I'm around negative people. First, I try to help them. Then I try to coach them. Then I try to like, like see the world through their eyes and then I'm reacting to them and then I'm like, fuck man, you're not helping me. I'm not helping you. You're just dragging me into your vibration and I don't like it. And if you don't want to change, there's not much I can do with this. And so I got to just ghost you. I got to separate because you, if you save a drowning man, you know, sometimes you can drown yourself, you know, and there's a lot of people out there that have wasted years and years of their life in toxic friendships, you know, with negative people. Guilty. That's what made me bring it up. Easy to do, man. It's not, it's not a mark on your character. It's a normal thing that people do. And when you're around a bunch of people that are positive and that are inspirational, then all of a sudden you start holding yourself accountable. You're like, you know, what would David Goggins do? Right. You know, what would Cam Haines do? Yeah. What would Jaco do? And then that, that's a good thing. What would Rogan do? Yeah. You know, you don't like it when we give you compliments, but we think about it. Yeah. Um, I said that because like, I wondered if that was for you because the biggest thing to my note here is new playground, new playmates, you can't heal in the environment that hurts you. Yeah. You know, and it's like, I started praying for new friends five years ago. Like on my knees to God directly, like God, I've done everything I can for every friend I brought with me along the way. Everybody who came with me can't go with me. Everybody's not growing at the rate I'm growing. Right. I need new friends. I'm hanging around, you know, um, when I was cheating on my wife, I was hanging around people that were cheating on their wives. When I was drinking tons of alcohol and doing tons of cocaine, I was hanging around people that was doing tons of alcohol, tons of cocaine. So I'm like, I don't, I want to be in, I want to change. Like, send me some friends, send me, just send me some new interests. And then I'd start bumping into, you know, I guess six, seven, whatever it was years ago, guys like Cam Haines, guys like Goggins. And I didn't realize it then when they came into my universe, it was just from a distance in our YouTube channel, like, oh, this dude's fucking nuts. Who's this guy screaming at the camera, running all these mouths? You know, who is this guy that won't quit his job? That's just like the greatest bow hunter ever and runs ultramarathons and like is refusing to quit his job. The internet's like campaign and quit your job, Cam. You know what I'm saying? I was like, who are these guys? These guys are awesome, you know? And, um, even then my, and that's where the little scared kid of me comes out. Like, oh man, but you know, you can't do that, dude. You know how far you are away from even like being able to talk to a guy like that or being able to run or like you're just too far, you know, you do even down a bow hunting, I'm a felon. So I'm not allowed to possess a firearm or be within a thousand feet of one, knowingly. So I've never been able to hunt. You know, well, I didn't think about the loophole. Y'all know it. The bow, bow hunt, you know, but also then your 500 pounds was like, boy, am I really going to bow hunt? You know what I mean? But it was new playgrounds, new playmates. You know what I mean? And, um, I started really believing that and like just finding that my uncle always said, if you hang around nine, you'll be the 10th. So just look at the nine closest to you. And even if it wasn't a friend's at first, it was just me being inspired by different stuff back to digging it. Do it. You know what I mean? Like dig it, do it. And I got into this. I was into, um, I signed up for the two bears, five K because Bert was my friend and I thought their podcast was funny. I never even met Tom. You know what I mean? I was like, this is the cool way to do it. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like, yeah, I'm on the internet, 500 pounds waddling down a back road, going up, going to my first five K and me, everybody, you know what I'm saying? It's like, it's just, and I'm like, I'm ready. And, uh, and I, and I call cam cause we're friends by the end and I'm, and I'm all excited for 70 walking my first two miles a mile that day or whatever it would, I ran a whole, walked a whole mile called cam doing a five K cam cam. I'm going to come support you and cam and Philip, uh, frankly, Lee walked that five K with me. It took us an hour and a half. I mean, listen, I'm surprised cam cam could have rolled faster. He could have crawled. You know what I'm saying? We watched both of his kids run by us three times and jeans. You know what I'm saying? And, uh, but that's like, it goes back to changing your friends. Like it was a guy that wanted to lift me up a guy that cam, but the cam used to tap me on the shoulder when I was 500 pounds and go, dude, we're going to bow hunt one day. I'm going to take you bow hunt, dude. And I would remember thinking, this motherfucker's crazy. You know what I'm saying? Like there's no way. Be in this dude or ever bow hunt, you know, and we're bow hunting, you know, we just came out of a blind this morning. If we've been, I've been down there bow hunting with cam ran my first 10 K wooden yesterday, but it was, it was completely the, the new playground, new playmates thing for me. Yeah. You know, yeah, it's fuel. If you can get around people that are real positive and they're doing good things and they're excited about life, it's very contagious. It is. I think that's one of the really positive things about the internet that you can be introduced to the way these people live their lives. And you can see videos on them. You can hear them talk on podcasts and you can realize that people like this exist and then try to find them, you know, and try to find people like that and try to become like them. You can, you can, you could assume those positive attributes and you can, you can incorporate them into your life. It's completely possible. Yeah. And it's real. I mean, I did it. I am an ex somebody is listening to this right now and as crazy as this is going to sound, I was you eight years ago. I was listening to the Joe Rogan podcast. It was the beginning of me starting to be like, what I put in my body comes out. What I eat, I shit, what I drink, I piss, what I hear, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. And then I realized I was listening to a bunch of true crime, a bunch of negative stuff, all my phone all the time. I was watching fist fights at bars like this was my algorithm. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? My algorithm was just completely fucked. Yeah. So it's like, okay, I need to start changing my, I need to find cooler stuff to put into my algorithm, things, more knowledge, learning stuff. Tell me, what have you done with the phone thing? So the phone thing is interesting. It's been really interesting. I got one now. I got one two months ago. I took a year to part of the weight loss. I took a year off of a phone completely. Well, you know, I used to get drunk in my number to everybody at the bar. So I would wake up after an award show and have like 3000 unread text messages of people's like, congratulations. And I was just like, oh God, I was missing like big messages, you know. Yeah. That's a problem with me. Yeah. I got, I got that problem. Yeah. I could imagine where you look back and you're like, the president text me. No, not me, but I bet that's happening where you're like, I missed an entire text from somebody of that stature, you know, and you're like, dude, this is crazy. And I was like, I don't, I think that I was using it as another way not to connect. I have an avoidant personality. Like I'll isolate or I can do it just right in a room full of people. If I hop on the phone and I was just like, man, I want to be more present. You know, I remember sitting doing stuff with my son and daughter and I was like, scrolling Instagram, once again, watching bar fights, you know, nothing, nothing that was helping, you know what I mean? I was like, I'm just, right. I'm just like completely disconnected. It's another addition. It's another and with my personality, I got to watch those. So I got a phone two months ago and I just didn't put social media on it. Yeah. I have YouTube because that's my app and I trust, you know, YouTube is where I get good stuff. It doesn't give me 60 second burst of shit. I don't need. It gives me long form of good stuff. You know what I mean? I find channels that I like really dig and it's like back to new playground, new playmates. I never, I know I'm super late to the party. Never heard of the outdoor boys until last year. Okay. Whoa. I've been missing a whole new thing of life. You know what I mean? He's back, right? He's doing it again. He's back is. Yeah. He took some time off, right? Is it, I think he felt like overwhelming. Yeah. The success of his channel got too crazy and he didn't enjoy the pressure. But you know what I think he was doing? This is, you want to speculate a little bit together about this. I think he was doing the coolest dad thing ever because he goes on there and goes, look, this has been a little overwhelming for me and my family, me and my wife are out of this and frankly, I got two boys that want to be YouTubers themselves. So I think I'm just going to help them and I follow his son's channel. His son's got 3000 subscribers. He camps by himself like his dad did. He's 12 years old doing solo camp at his name's outdoor Tom. So it's like, and he's been posting and his dad's on his channel. So I think the dad just built his channel, got big and was like, dude, I think I'm just going to leave this legacy for the boys, man. I'll just help them out. But he's kind of been poking his nose back around here and there and he helped his friend out that had cancer. I thought that was the coolest thing. Yeah. What was the name of that channel, Jamie? I don't want to blow this. They deserve a shout out because that was really cool. My life outdoors. Yeah. My life outdoors. And so that was a recent video that they made. Yeah. Yeah. He's a very interesting guy, you know, I wish he'd come talk to you. I would, if he was interested, I definitely have him on. I really have, I watch a lot of those shows. That's one of a part of my YouTube algorithm is dudes who go out into the woods by themselves. This is my new algorithm. See, this is me trying to change my playground because this is all back into shape, Joe. Mm hmm. Like now I don't look at that as a achievable task. I look at that like next winter, me and Cameron are going to go hunt somewhere that we're going to take a fucking tent. You know what I'm saying? We're going to go out there and get lost in the woods. Camp on your back. I think we can do it, dude. Oh, you think I'm going to be in shape enough to do it? You know, you're probably in shape enough to do it right now. I'm only going to get better. Yeah. No, I mean, I watched you on the treadmill today, man. You're in shape to do it right now. Yeah, you could do it. It's, uh, that's a beautiful thing, man. It's a really beautiful thing. And just to be out in the woods like that is, it's a, I think it's a like a form of vitamin that people haven't recognized yet. It's medicine. Yeah, there's something to it. I mean, that sounds hokey and new agey, but I'm telling you, man, if I don't get my time in, in the woods at least a couple of times a year, three and I really want to do it a way more often. I just can't. I just, I'm just too busy, but it's, it empties all the bullshit out of my life. The mountains don't give a fuck what's going on in your life or how many likes your last fucking social media post God or who's upset at you. They don't care. You know, the mountains are the mountains. Those animals don't give a fuck if you just won the Grammy. You know, they don't give a shit. Oh, jelly rolls here. Let me offer my vitals. No, sir. Not the case at all. There's no charisma out there. There's no cult of personality. There's no, it's all, it's just wild and it's beautiful. You always been outdoorsman? No, I used to fish when I was a kid. I used to really love fishing and, you know, then I got away from all of it for a long time until Rinella took me hunting. And that's when I got that mule deer, that one that's sitting on the table right there. That was the first animal I ever shot. Boa rifle rifle. That was a rifle. And then Cam took me on my first hunt with a bow. I got a black bear. That was your first hunt with a bear? Yeah. God, I'm trying to get him to take me one of those in May. It's good. And I want to do elk next year. Bear is a good one because first of all, it's scary, you know, which I think is good. And, uh, and there's something about eating a bear that's just wild. It's just, they're kind of fatty, right? It feels crazy. Yeah. Well, not that bad. I mean, they, they definitely have a lot of fat on them. They taste good. They take, that's a big misconception. I mean, I've never eaten a grizzly bear, which I've heard are pretty rough. But my friend, Ryan Callahan, just shot a grizzly bear and he says it's delicious. Um, I think the thing about a bear that's a little daunting for a lot of people is trichinosis. And, uh, you have to cook a bear like a hundred and I think that, I think the numbers 160, I think that's what it is where you, you know, you got to make sure that that meat is 160 degrees, you know, so you don't get any parasites because trichinosis is rough. God, I can't believe your first bow hunt was a bear. I'm on my first bow hunt as we speak and it's for a deer. And I could, I definitely, I needed to do this if I want to see a bear. I am out there. I mean, stomach and heart and stomach stomach and pants. Well, I think Cam took me bear hunting because in Alberta, the way they do it, it's, uh, they do it over bait. So they, um, they set out oats and they use beaver carcasses and all these different things. So the animals and people are like, Oh, that's cheating. Listen, there is no other way to find these animals in Alberta. There you're talking about dense forest, dense forest. It looks like a box of cute tips. Like you can't see shit out there. You're not going to find them before they see you coming or hear you coming or smell you coming. This isn't, this, if you want to hunt them, you have to use bait or you have to use dogs and you know, that's how they used to hunt them in a lot of places. They used to, you know, tree them with dogs and then people would shoot them. And people are like, well, that's horrible too, but this, you have to control their populations. If you understand wildlife biology and wildlife management, you, you must control the populations of predators. And then, you know, like John and Jen up in Alberta, where they took me, they know how to cook bear, like really good. Jen is an excellent cook and she, she'll cook a bear roast and she rubs it down and puts it, puts it in a Traeger and they'll slow cook it for 12 hours. Oh, they're smoking the bear. Was it the bear you killed? You could eat that one? Oh, well, we definitely ate some of that too. And there's another thing that Rinella taught me called bear candy, which was great. It's like basically like, it's like Chinese foods, like sweet and sour bear. It was really good. Yeah. And then Cam brought over some bear sticks. He gets some meat sticks made at this one butcher that he goes to this one meat processing place, but you bear is the misconception is that bear tastes bad. It does not taste bad. It tastes like beef. It tastes like a weird beefy kind of animal. You know, here's a weird fun fact. When settlers or the pioneers first were making their way across North America, they didn't eat deer. They were eating bear and they were using deer for skins. So a deer skin was worth $1. And that's where the term buck come from. No fucking way. Yes. The term a buck comes from these, the price of a deer skin. No, they were just throwing the meat away. Exactly. Wow. How long ago was this? The 1700s, 1800s. They didn't know anybody. Wow. Not only that, you know, all those buffalo that people shot like buffalo is like very expensive meat. It's delicious. It's fantastic. I think it's superior to beef. They didn't eat the beef. They didn't eat the buffalo. Wow. They were eating their tongues. They were, they were killing them initially for their tongues. And then they would pickle the tongues and send them to New York. And people in New York were eating pickled buffalo tongues. Wow. They were throwing away thousands of pounds of buffalo, good buffalo meat. Yeah. Oh, wow. Got thousands of pounds. And then they started using their skins. So buffalo hides became valuable, but it wasn't the meat that they were after, which is crazy because they basically almost made them extinct. They came like within a hair's breath of making bison extinct in North America. Yeah. Just by giving away tongues. Well, also because they, they opened it up to the market. So market hunting was a giant problem with wildlife in North America. So what, what, what that, what that means is they didn't have refrigeration back then, right? So you needed a constant supply of meat. And, you know, you could salt things down and transport them that way. And there's a bunch of different ways to avoid the breakdown of bacteria, but essentially you couldn't, there was no fucking freezers, you know? And so market hunting almost wiped out all the whitetail. It removed elk from most states. You know, the states that are in, that have elk, wild elk right now are a tiny handful of the states that used to have elk in like the 1600s, the 1700s. It's all the settlers came from, you know, wherever and they shot them all. Wow. And they shot them all and brought them all to market. You know, that was a lot of it. And so then they made market hunting illegal. And then, you know, they designated areas, public land. And, you know, this is the Teddy Roosevelt thing. And what they did was really an amazing, what they did, an amazing example of conservation in North America that really doesn't exist anywhere else is our wildlife management and also our natural resources, public land management. So we have public land in North America where you can, you could, you could apply for a tag. You could get it like, like we did with that mule deer. We shot that mule deer in Montana. We got a tag and went out into the Missouri brakes. And then we, you know, found that animal and shot it and ate it. And anybody could do that. You, it's part of you being an American. If you, you know, fill out the right paperwork and pay for the tags and all that pays for the management of this land and for wildlife biologists and park rangers and all those kind of different people that game wardens that, that help, you know, keep all this stuff managed. Wow. See, I didn't even know you could hunt public lands until recently, whenever Cam and them were fighting back about the bill that was trying to get rid of some of it. Yeah, man. They were trying to sell off some public land into the fucking dangerous slippery slope and you can't let that happen ever. It's kind of like freedom of speech, man. Mm hmm. Any infraction of freedom of speech is a complete infraction. Uh huh. Freedom of speech. Yeah. I mean, it's deteriorating really badly right now in the UK. I'm loving the outdoors though. I'm loving learning about it. Like even here in Utah, I'm just over here like, yes. Oh, it's an amazing thing. You know, I just got my first hunting license yesterday. You know what I'm saying? Dave, before yesterday, so it's a big deal for me. That's awesome. I'm having, you want to hear my first big amateur mistake I made? Sure. This is a good one. I told you one of them, but I'll tell you why I didn't tell you. Cause it's way better. I'll say this one for the air. Um, we're in there the first night and it's like, kind of, it's not nippy, but it's like when the sun went down, it was cool, but it was still, you know, I was so adrenaline up the first night, a dough comes out, Joe. And I thought I was going to shit myself. I mean, I had to stand up. I farted. My stomach was bad. It was just so, it was every emotion. I didn't think I was going to feel and I'm doing it with like the greatest bow hunter ever sitting behind me and lucky for us cams, a sweet dude. So he's just entertained by it. He really loves helping people get into bull. You know, that speaks again to who he is. Yeah. To be who you are in that. Cause that'd be like me loving, going and meeting first time songwriters. Like I've never wrote a song and we'd be like, that's my favorite. Let me sit down and show you how to start. You know what I mean? Which I don't necessarily feel that way to be honest. So it's like for him to care, but I'm sitting in there and the next morning we go and it's fucking cold and I'm shaking anyways. Cause I'm, you know, I'm nervous and I'm shaking cause it's cold. So when we go back that night, I bring my hoodie in case it gets cold, but I don't put it on and we're sitting there and as soon as the sun goes down a little bit, it gets cold in that blind bubble. Yeah. And I'm sitting there like, well, you're also not moving. Not moving at all. If you were walking around in the cold, that's a different thing. No, we're just sitting and I'm like, yeah. And I'm like cold, cold. And I don't even think about it. And they're, now keep in mind, there's two does in front of us and there's a buck, maybe 80 yards away. Cam said this and it's the most gangster thing. Bow hunting starts where rifle rifle hunting ends. Bow hunting begins where rifle hunting ends. The moment you see a buck when you're rifle hunting for those listeners that don't know, you just shoot it. It's that easy. You see the buck, you better shoot it right then. Soon as you get a clean shot. The moment you see the buck when you're bow hunting, that's operation. Chill. Get them as close as you can get them and find the right shot. It's the total opposite of rifle hunt, which I haven't rifle hunting since I was 10 anyways, but, um, so I'm sitting there and it's cold and I see the buck in the back and I'm like, you know what? Can I ask you something? Yes, sir. You're not allowed to own a firearm or you're allowed to operate one? No, sir. No, so you can't rifle hunt at all? No, sir. I'm on my first hunt pretty much. This is an ad for better help. The holidays come with a lot of traditions, gathering with family, cooking those once a year recipes and leaning into the little rituals that bring everyone together. That's something I always look forward to. But there's another tradition I think we should all start doing during the holidays and that's taking some time for ourselves. This season you do so many things for the other people in your life. You plan get togethers around everyone's schedule. You spend hours picking out the right gifts and cooking the right food, but you also deserve just as much attention. Otherwise you'll burn yourself out. So do yourself a favor and take some me time. Go on a hunting trip. Have a quiet night with a book, maybe even schedule a session with a therapist. Therapy is an extremely effective way to make sure you're focusing on what you need and better help can easily set you up. They have access to a wide network of fully qualified therapists and they do a lot of the work for you. Even if that first match isn't a good fit, you can easily switch to another therapist. This December start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash JRE. That's better. And is that forever? Well, this is interesting. I am slippery slope for me. I am up for a pardon this year. My paperwork has been sent into my governor and he considers pardons in every December. So every day I'm just kind of praying. You know what I mean? But even if he gives me the pardon, unfortunately, Tennessee has a zero forgiveness policy for violent offenders. So I would be pardoned, but I wouldn't be adjudicated. What's it called? Uh, when they exonerated, he exonerated. Um, I wouldn't be good with the charters aren't completely gone. So what I'd have to do is, and this is my hope is that my goal in this is that I want to reach out to legislation eventually and go, Hey, like if nothing else, I'd like my run, my right to hunt. Like it's done a lot for my mental health. It's done a lot for my physical health. Like it's been a being able to start going on that first boat. These are little markers that I put on the calendar. You know, when I'm 400 something pounds and I'm like, all right, next year, Cam said, he's taking me on my bow hunt. I got to get there. You know what I mean? Like, all right, next year, I'm not going to run that five can an hour and a half. I'm going to do it in 45 minutes. You know what I mean? Like these are those markers. So I want to go to them and go, look, I understand if you've ever raped somebody or killed somebody, but I think that every, it should, there should be some path to redemption. Even if it takes 30 years, put something unrealistic up there. You don't can't get a speeding ticket for 20 years, but like, I think it's important for people to have a path to redemption. I'm a redemption guy. And you know, if God didn't just show me so many paths, you know what I mean? Then I think it's one of the more beautiful aspects of Christianity, right? That it does offer you a path to redemption, like a true legitimate path where you can become a different person. Literally. Yeah. And people not judge you on the old person anymore. Judge you on the person sitting in front of you. I get it for the public safety aspect of it. It's hard to know if a person's redeemed themselves. I get that. It's hard. And if you make the wrong decision, man, I could, I couldn't bear the burden of your conscience of that neither. Right. But then you do have cases. And I know I'm not the only one of people who have like even little things. Like, I mean, outside of hunting Joe, it's not that I'm a big, you know, I don't have a, I just wish I could protect myself. Right. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm a million dollars plus a year in security. I'd cut that bill in half tomorrow. I had it right to carry. Right. You know what I mean? For sure. You know, but, um, but at least let me hunt. I mean, my heart's right. I just want to feed the family and go out and spend some time with the boys and do some population control. We don't kill them deer in Tennessee. They're taking over anyways. You know what I'm saying? It's bad. You got a lot down there. They're every, not like these monsters down here, but they're everywhere. Yeah. Well, that place that you're at is a particularly unique place. That's some giant deer. Dude, it's called Hunt Cactus Jack. Or it's, um, I found this out. Do you remember the old vice president from here was called Cactus Jack? No. We looked this up, Jamie. This is a cool story. So the vice president, I think it might have been during Roosevelt's term, maybe even or one of those, uh, maybe Teddy, but his vice president was a Texas governor or something. And the guy was famous because he's the one who tried to make the cactus plant, the Texas state plant. So they called him cactus jack because of that. And then cactus jack. Yeah. This is it. Here it is. There he is. Look at him, dude. He looks like he's cactus jack. Yeah. Jim Nance Garner. Wow. He was a lawyer, a longtime congressman. Uh, he was the one who tried to make the cactus is the state flower. Wow. Yeah. Who was the vice president to Roosevelt? Yeah. The effort failed in favor of the blue bonnet, but cactus jack moniker stuck with him throughout his long political career. So, so when he opened this place, uh, how many years ago, the guy who bought it from him was super excited. Tell you told me the story last. Look at how gangster that is. That's cactus jack. That's the guy with two pistols. We could never get away with that right now in politics. I know, right? Um, but cactus jack, he's a, but the ranch is great. The guy who owns it, Mr. Jerry was telling me the history of it last night. They kept true Texas deer genetics. A lot of the Texas ranches will have import genetics. And he was like cactus jack was big about making this a tried and true Texas ranch. And he's, he is dead sent on dying by keeping it that way. This guy, Jerry that owns it. Well, it's like, especially South Texas hunting whitetail deer is like a religion. It's a religion. Yeah. It's a big thing for those folks. They, and Ted, to grow big deer down there and to make sure that you manage the genetics correctly, like you don't shoot any animal that's under like six or seven years old. And you know, this is a place that I hunt in Utah that does that with elk. It's like they, a really well managed place does that. They make sure it's like, there's some places where when they have hunting season, everybody just goes out into the woods, kids get a day off school and they shoot everything they can, which is great. You get meat. It's great. But the problem is if you want very impressive animals that are mature, which is also better for the entire genetics of the herd, because these are the animals that have lived a full life. They've spread their genes and then you shoot them at the end, at the end of their life. So they've had a long full, and by the way, when you're getting an animal that's seven, eight, nine years old, they really don't have much time left. Well, you know, they were telling me, you're so right about that. They were saying some of them, they'll try to wait and let them have another year and they won't make it anyway. Yeah. They won't make it through the winter. Sometimes they'll just, you know, they just won't make it. And he said, so they've, uh, yeah, no, they're dead. This guy is doing it. I mean, obviously I'm not the case study cams to talk about it because I've been on one hunt, but the deer, I see all my property back home compared to these deer, these deers would eat those deers. You know what I'm saying? Like these, these deers would fuck those deers in the butt. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's a totally different thing. It is a different thing, but that's a very exceptional place. So I go to put my hoodie on. That's where I fuck up, Joe. I'm cold in this fucking blind and I, like I said, came home, I bowed and I should have said cam, can I put my hoodie on? Cause cam would have been like, no, you know what I'm saying? But I was like, all right. And in my mind, Joe, I was going to slide one arm through and I was going to wait 30 seconds to slide the other arm through. Cause I didn't want to be shaking if I got my shot and I seen my buck across the field, but I put first armed through and I looked up. It was like a movie, Joe. All three deer in the field went right into my soul. It ran away. And I looked at cam. I was like, that was me, huh? He was like, oh yeah, they don't like that stuff. I was like, fuck. Never came back. No, never came back. The sound is like they hear everything like 10 times louder than you do. Look at their ears. Their ears rotate and turn and do this. Those are antenna listening for predators. So they hear the ruffling of clothes. So like, what is that shit? They were like, that's a human. Fucking human. And when they're down there, that's the main predator. Yeah. The main predator is us. No, it was it was amateur hour at the Apollo, dude. At least cam got a hook who doubted. I learned a big lesson, of course, too, you know, but. Bro, they look at you too. When a white tail busts you, they look you like it's a weird. No, it's like it's almost like he when I say they looked right up at me, Joe. It was like from from feed. To eye contact with me. I was like, oh fuck. You know what I'm saying? I felt like a deer in headlights. I was like, oh, shit, he got me. Well, people put felt on the rest just so that when the arrow slides, it's not making any sound. You got to be real slow and how you draw back. But it's something else is like rifle hunting, which I can't rifle hunt, but we have a bunch of stands on my property and I'll go sitting on just to watch a deer with my little boy. And, you know, that that thing will be there. Two football fields away from where the deer are. You'll be sitting up there with a heater on listening to a podcast smoking a joint watching a deer like a gun. I'd kill it. You know what I'm saying? Right. So I showed up for the day with cam and I got my little weed pen in my pocket. And as soon as we sat down and I seen a buck from here to a little bit past Jamie from me, I was like, oh, yeah, we can't smoke in here. Or I was like, this is real. It's a totally different thing. It's a different fear to like you get excited when you see one out of a blind from a hundred yards, 200 yards, you know, 50 yards, 70 yards. But when you see one 20 yard, 30 yards away from you and you're sitting there with just a stick with a piece of metal on it kind of. You know what I'm saying? And a string. Ultimately, you got a glorified that what came right after the slingshot. Right. You know what I mean? And you're like, this is me and this animal right now. Yeah, it is the fucking craziest feeling I've ever felt in my life. Dude, I wrestled at SummerSlam. It felt like that. It felt like when Logan Paul was going to jump through the table. It was that feeling the whole time. Yeah, this is it. Oh, wow. That's a big fucking look. That was really shaking, dude. That's a big buck. Oh, dude, we had so much. We're having a I'm having a tiny little hole. You see what I'm going through here? Look at him. But I just you have a light on your pins. You have a sight light. No, sir. OK. Are you using a spot hog? What kind of a beautiful bird cams set it up for me. Cam is Wayne is Wayne. His name is Bo Wreck. Yeah, Wayne. I love you, Wayne. Shout out to Wayne. Yeah, you got a spot by the way. That's a Booner. You're your your bow shot just dropped me off. Kickstand for it. What do you all call it? Beautiful, archery country. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for that, by the way. Oh, please. Because in the stand, I'm having to hold it on my lap. You know what I mean? Yeah, bring him hit him for me and was like, yo, while we're doing Rogan, can you just drop off a kickstand for jelly? Yeah, those. Hoyt has it set up so that they're retractable to the way it's set up. It's perfect. You just set it down. It's perfect. I bought 200 arrows and I put on a hundred on my back porch. And a bucket and I have like 30 targets in my backyard now. And I set the hundred of them on my farm's back porch with like 30 targets. And now I literally wake up, let my dog out and just let a hundred rip. First rip rip, a whole hundred takes me like 45 minutes. Good exercise. Oh, yeah. And I only have to pull them once. It's also the concentration clears your mind because it's so hard to do. They hit a target, especially at a distance. You're when you know, your whole thing is just everything's got to be like coordinated and sink on that release and that arrow flies and goes right into there. Oh, I love it. It's a it's a lot of concentration. It's one of the only things I've ever done that when I'm standing there, even over a target, especially over a deer, but even over a target and I pull that bow back, it's like you said about the mountains, like nothing in the world matters right now. The world goes away. I don't hear it. I don't even hear my inner monologue. Yeah. All I see is that little green pin on that target. Fred Bear had a great quote about a troubled mind, like nothing, nothing clears a troubled mind, like shooting a bow. It's so true. It's like there's something about how difficult it is that it really requires everything of you. It requires all of your concentration. You can't have like distracting thoughts like, oh, I forgot to pay that bill. Oh, I got to call that guy back. Oh, I got to do this. Oh, I got to do that. You can't have anything in there. You know, because of that, it's like a moving meditation. Like it forces you to be completely present in the moment and that, that cleans the mind out. You tell me about moving meditation. I was thinking about when you were saying that, even down to the breathing, like the importance of the. It's also, you're going to learn how to manage your nerves, right? So there's going to, this is a process and it's a journey. And so along the way, you're going to have some moments where a deer comes in or an elk comes in where you're, you see your body shaking and freaking out. But then in the future, you're going to know, OK, I know when this is coming. Now I know how to stay calm. And now I see us coming like, nah, bitch, we ain't getting there. We're not going there. We're staying right here. I call it going dead. Like you go dead. Like all this anticipation and what if I miss and what if I do this and what if he runs and what if he turns? Nothing. I don't let nothing in. You don't let nothing in. And you just like exist like a cat. Like you're like a cat, like staring at the thing you're about to kill. Just locked in. There's no negative at all. Do you ever let those emotions creep in? You know, I asked him, I'm like, do you ever check your heart rate when you shoot? And he's like, yeah, it doesn't even move. Like, yeah, because he knows how to stay in that moment. He knows how to stay calm afterwards. It's like, yeah, everybody's great. Everybody's happy. And oh my God, look at this is incredible. It worked out. What a perfect shot. I can't wait to feel that hugs. Yeah. I can't think about that though. Can't think about the result. Never think about the result. Always think about the process. Always think about the process. I'm having fun with the process here. Process is amazing. Cam was saying that I felt so bad. Looked at the camera. You're not mad that we sat four times and I haven't got one yet, especially since I fucked it up once and twice. I had a pee today. But we've been in there for hours. I mean, I was like, Cam. That bucks not coming back. Staying hydrated. Yeah, I'm staying hydrated. I'm like, yeah, I got that guy has amazing patience. No, he said he smelled. He was like, this is what I'm here for above. He said, I'm glad you're getting the journey. And I was like, I think about it came here and just shot one. It wouldn't have been. I've sat forward to I've really I'm working for this deer. Oh, yeah, yeah, I pulled on him three times this morning, Joe. And just could not. And Cam was proud of me though, because I was like, I just don't have the shot. Cam, because he a whispers in my ear. He goes, you got a shot. And I've been, I forgot who wrote it, but it's a little book called lying. Have you ever seen this book? No, it's like a. Tell me it's like a little bitty book. It's just called lying. But it's like some off. You got to check it. It's a really cool book. And it just talks about his line. And it was the book that talked about me lying to myself. And right then I had to fight that urge to lie, because it wouldn't have been alive. I said, yes, I got a shot, but I didn't. I didn't have a good shot. Right. So instead I go, I don't get one. I like Cam. Cam goes, and he's put his hand on my shoulder. So he said, I'm proud of you for that. And I just let down. You know what I mean? Like, I was at least even in the moment of like, I want to kill this deer. So I would be so cool. Imagine if I went on Joe Rogan's after killing my first buck this morning. And I was like, but I was like, this ain't the shot. You know what I mean? Like I want the first one to be the shot. I want to be proud of it. You know what I don't want to harm an animal. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't want an animal to suffer. I want to double lung it. I want to drop it like a movie. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And if I have to sit here eight more times to get that shot. No problem. It'll just make it. I'm just getting better, Joe. I'm learning more. I'm learning how to listen for stuff. I'm seeing things. Now I know when they're looking, what the wind means. I learned what barometric pasture is and what it does to it. It's all kind of cool stuff, dude. I'm like a little nerd. I'm like the little kid walking around asking questions all day. Well, there's a really big learning curve to hunting, particularly bow hunting. And it's really interesting. Look, you just keep learning stuff like I've been doing it now for, I guess I've been bow hunting for 12 years or 13 years. I guess 12 years and I'm still learning. I learn all the time. I mean, I'm, you know, it's one of the most rewarding things that I've ever done, you know, and especially in terms of like getting pretty decent at it, getting proficient at it and having a bunch of success and success begets more success. I love it. And then when you eat it, it's different than any other meal you'll ever eat. When I, when I pull a elk steak out of my freezer and I thought out and then I throw it on the trigger and I throw some olive oil on it. And I like this Saskatchewan black and Saskatchewan rub that they have is my favorite for elk. And I get that sucker up to 120 degrees and then I bring it inside and I sear it on a cast iron frying pan. Then I eat it. Oh man, it's magical. I remember, I remember the whack when that elbow hit him in the lungs. The whack. That sounds whack. How crazy is it hunting elk? Oh, it's crazy. They fucking scream. Oh, that was scary. They shit out of me. It's magical. I hunted with Cam this September and I got this elk that was he had, he was coming over the mountains with his cows and we saw him. We were like, whoa, that's a good one. And like, we got to try to get to him. So we had to go over the top of this ridge and go down into this valley and go through the woods. And as we got to where he was, another elk stole his fucking cows. And so by the time we got to the woods, we were trying to like, we're following the screams because he was still screaming and they were screaming and the cows are so we get through the woods. And then we realized, oh shit, he got his cow stolen. So his cows, we saw the last of his cows run up this hill, run up the side of this mountain and he was going after them. He was like slowly. And then my guy Colton that I was with, he called, he went, you know, he busted this little elk, the cow elk call. And you see the elk go like this. It's like a record skips, you know, like, and then he turns and he's like slowly starts walk. I was at full draw for like a minute and a half behind this tree, just holding for a minute and a half. All this dude was, he was about 25 yards, but he did not like it. He's like, something's going on here. I don't see the cow. What the fuck is happening here? So he went around sideways to try to get our wind. And as soon as he went around sideways, as soon as he got clear, I saw him put that pin on him. So swack. He hit him. He was dead in 15 seconds. 15 seconds. He, he, he, he, he, he got hit. He was like, what the fuck? He, he, he, he turned, started going downhill and then fell and rolled. And it was over like that. And then I think of that moment every time I eat it, every time I'm cutting into that steak, I think of that crazy moment. You know, God, that is a wild moment. And it's also after miles and miles of trekking up these mountains. You're at 7,700 feet above sea level. We fucking, and you have to hunt, hunt elk. You don't sit for them. Right. You gotta kind of go out and find it. There's no sitting. Yeah. You go find him. You're fucking exhausted every day. Yeah. It's crazy. That's what I'm training for Joe Rogan. Oh, 100%. That's what I'm getting in shape. And when, when June starts rolling around, that's when I start really ramping up the cardio. That's when I start ramping up the airdine bike and ramping up the steps. When I start doing step ups on boxes and I start doing body weights September. So right around June is when I really just kick in a leg strengthening, leg conditioning and cardio time. Cause you know, you're going to have to go, they live in the mountains, man, which is interesting because they didn't used to be like, they were more like living in the planes until people start fucking with them. And then they're like, realize like the best way to get away from people is to get way up where it's difficult to get to. So if you want to get them, you got to go where it's difficult to get to. So you got to get in shape. Yeah. And that's the stuff like, I hope somebody's listening to this right now going, man, I'll never be able to. They'll cut you. You can. Yeah, you can. I promise you. Can you walk? Then you can do it. You can do it. You can start walking tomorrow and start going forward. And even then, you know, it's your big goal. Put little goals in between there. That was another big one for me. It was like, I had these big goals, but I didn't get, they were so far, I realized I'd lose sight of them sometimes. So you got to set them little, the little baby goals in the middle. You know what I mean? Those little like, you know what? I'm going to walk a mile five days this week, no matter what the weather is. I'm going to walk a whole mile. You know, I'm going to walk to my mailbox and back, whatever your starting point is. And then I encourage you to start making the decision that's hard because me and Cam talked about this when we ran our five K. There's a hill. My driveway comes down a driveway, comes down a hill and you bust a right, Joe. And then you can go left into a neighborhood. The same run I run every day, or you can go right up a hill. And it is a hill, hill, you know. And the first day I came out and I looked up that hill and I looked to the left and I took two steps to the left and I stopped and I told myself, I was like, I'm learning about stories we tell ourselves. The story I've been telling myself my whole life was take the easy way out. My entire life, Joe, I have always looked for the path of the easiest, like A to B straight line. You know what I mean? And I was like, I break that today. I turn right. Fuck you. You feel it, don't you? Right then big, big moment. Like, no, I'm hitting that fucking hill. You know, because I'm big fat people hate hills. Scares. We hate all that shit. So I'm like, I'm like hit the hill. You know what I'm walking and I'm stopping and I'm walking and I'm stopping and I'm walking and I stopped. I just kept going. When I got to the top of it, there was a telephone pole up there and I went and slapped it. I just slapped the shit out of it. And I was just, I felt so achieved and I came down the hill and then I took a left and I was going to go straight down to the stop sign and back. But if you take a left, you can go up another hill. So I was in my mind. I was like, I'm going to stop, so I hit the hill. But as I was walking by that other hill, I was like, this is the new you. You hit the hill dog. This is the new you. Today is the new you. You hit the hill. Left. Hit the fucking hill. Come back down on my way home that day. Look up, see that hill. It's right by my house. I go, fuck, I'm gonna hit it one more time. You know what I mean? And then it started becoming a thing where it's like, I started adopting that philosophy in life now, Joe. I hit the hill first. Whatever the hardest thing is, whatever scares me the most, whatever I think is going to be the most daunting of the day. It's like, put that motherfucker on the table right. Let me see that bitch first. And it makes the rest of your life easier too. That's what's really important. When you elect to make these decisions, conscious decisions to do a difficult thing voluntarily, you elect to do that. Then the rest of your life becomes way easier because the most difficult thing of your day is always the most difficult thing of your day, whether you decide to do it or whether life throws it at you. And you can decide to give yourself some shit that's way harder than anything life's going to throw at you. And then the rest of life becomes easy. It makes you ready to deal with life. It's also very important for famous people. It's very important for famous people because for famous, the pressures and the weirdness of fame, most people don't understand the psychological burden that, that, that carries, that, that, how that hits you. And it can really fuck with you. And one of the best ways that I've found to keep it from fucking with me is to make the hardest part of my day, my choice. I do it. I put myself through. So other stuff that seems difficult for other people that don't work out or don't take on challenging tasks. It's not that difficult for me. Easy. I'm already torturing myself every fucking day. And I feel really more qualified to deal with shit when I do though. Like when I have a really hard run, I walk into the house that day, like, I don't care what comes at me today. Exactly. I am on fire. I'll give you another quick story. There's nothing harder than what you're doing. You're barely alive, right? You're breathing so hard. Your, your heart is pounding. Nothing in life is giving you that. Nothing in life is giving you that kind of burden. No. So if you can do that to yourself, it'll make the rest of your life way easier. And then it, believe it or not, it gets funner. Yes. It goes back to my first year walking was miserable. I won't lie to people that are listening to this. I didn't enjoy one of those walks. You know what I mean? Not one. I didn't have one time, but when the weight started coming off and I started being able to breathe a little better, like I wasn't just fighting for oxygen every single step. And that moment happens though, if you're patient, the next thing you know, you're running with your friends and y'all are talking about the football game and you're firing on all cylinders today. When you were on that treadmill, you were talking, we were watching the Vulcan Oscar, excuse me, the Pewter, Yon, Marabh, Dwowosh, Willie fight. We were giving comment here. Yeah. It's like you do it. And it makes as you were running like, Oh, I remember when that kick landed. I was like, that was loud. Yeah. I'm telling you, dude, I'm like, just running and yeah. And it makes me mentally ready now because I go out and I know David talked about this a lot, Goggins, but I go out there and beat that bitch every day. Yeah. All them negative thoughts that deal with them on my run and my workout. Every one of those you can't do it. And you know what else I've learned? If I have a chance to eat bad today, it's going to happen on a day. I didn't wake up and run. Right. If I'm going to go off off my program because the days I run, I don't want that shit. Right. I know I earned it. Right. And mentally, it makes me better. I woke up the other day and ran my farm and I come back and my son, I'm all excited. We're going to the Titan game and I'm getting to connect with my son and I go hop on a four wheeler, right up to the top of the hill. I run up there and meet you. I'm going to get a little more exercise in. And when I'm running up to the top of the hill, I look up and he's stuck. He stopped somewhere going down another hill that I thought he was going to go down. And right then I realized it's the hill that he fell and broke his wrist on riding a four wheeler last year. And he stopped up there because he's scared. And his friend already went down. Joe, I thank God in that moment. I said, Jesus, thank you. I'm ready for this. I've ran. I'm not, I'm, I feel the endorphins. Like I am ready to parent this moment. Most of the time, you know, as a parent, you walk into these crazy moments and you're like, ooh, not fully ready for this moment. You know what I mean? Like, are we blowing them? And you look back and go, oh, I wasn't ready for that one necessarily. Yeah. And I walk up to him and I credit this to running. I walk up and I go, what's up, buddy? And he goes, I think this is the hill dad. I go, it is buddy. He goes, I'm scared. And I go, dude, I've been scared for 35 years and I never admitted it. So you're already way better than me. So you're already twice the man I am. I said, now what we got to do is know, we know what we're feeling. What are we going to do? It's me and you, buddy. What are we going to do? He goes, well, I don't want to drive it. I go, what have I ride with you? He goes, well, you sit on the back of this. Now he's on a 90. You know what I'm talking about, you know, for people at home, this is a nine year old four wheeler. And even then I start just thanking God in my head where I was like, I'm ready for this for the first time ever. I'm not too fat to get on this thing with him. Probably going to rub a little bit. But I can get on the back of it. And I sit down on the back of it. And he says, we grab the steering wheel. I go, nobody, but I'll grab your waist. I said, you don't need me to touch that steering wheel. You just need me with you. Crushes it down the hill. Nice. You know what I mean? That's awesome. You get to have the moment where you get to go. Now what we learn there, buddy goes, I learned that I can do it as long as you're with me. I said, no, buddy, you learn that you can do it. You just need, you just thought you needed me with you. I said, but here's the good news. Jesus is always with you, Bubba. You got this. Like just go. Like don't be afraid of this man. He drove it back up the hill. So then I said, do me a favor. Just right up top of him right back down. I'll be sitting here waiting for you. If you starts to go south, I'll run and jump on you. I'll do whatever I'll save you. I'll go, I'll die for you, boy. Just come down that hill. He drove right up the top of that hill. Turn around, came right down to Joe. And it's like I was ready for it though. I'd already did the hard stuff that day. You know what I mean? Having any emotional moment with my son was the easiest part of my day after that. I'd already ran three, four miles. You know what I mean? I'd already woke up and got myself in a headspace of like, I'm going to pour into my son today. I'm going to, I'm going to take him to get his favorite sweet from the Titan game and get him a cam war. Jersey. I'd already had a thing of ways I was going to connect with him. And then God gave me a whole new opportunity. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like God gave me a real opportunity. I was making ways to connect like, oh, we could probably do this and this will be fun. But like it just naturally came. I wasn't ready for that at 500 pounds. One, I would have never been like, go up their hill. You have 500 pounds. I'm like, you want to sit here and watch a movie? No kid wants to sit and watch a movie at nine years old for all parents out there that are 500 pounds. You know what I mean? I'll answer for them. But to be in that kind of place with them is like the joy of life. Like I, I want somebody to hear this podcast. I keep saying it this way and understand that you're not living the life you can. Right. And it's so, so possible. It's not easy, but it's possible and it's worth it. It's so worth it, Joe. You know what I mean? The things that are not easier are worth it. It's, it's important to do things that are not easy. It's really important. It's like if you, you want real peace, peace doesn't come from rest. Peace comes from struggle. Peace comes from struggle. It really does. You have to. You have to. Peace comes from challenge. It comes from being excited about something, doing something difficult, figuring out you could do it, building resilience. You know, building resilience is so important. It's so important because there's just too many people that are afraid of resilience. They're afraid of confrontation. They're afraid of anything that's difficult, anything that's struggle, anything that's going to test them. They're scared of it. They don't want that discomfort, but that discomfort is when you find true peace. There was a guy that there's a, there's a famous old tale that reminded me of that. That the guy goes, um, a young man looks at a rich man one day and rich, health, happy man. He goes, uh, how did you get where you are? And the rich, happy man looks at him and goes, good decisions, two words, good decision. You ever heard this story? No. He goes, good decisions. And the kid goes, well, well, how did you make good decisions? He goes, one word, experience. And the kid goes, well, how did you get experience? And the guy goes, two words, bad decisions. Yeah. You just gotta go do it, dude. Yeah. Failure, failure is critical. Failure. Go fail. And the pain of failure is also very important. It sucks. And it's hard in the moment. You don't think you're ever going to live past this. You're going to live in this moment forever and I can't do this. I'm going to, I can't live like this. I can't do this, but get through it, get through it. And now you have resilience. And you'll become a whole, you'll become a better person because of it. Like just, just taking an, um, I, I used to be that way and I'd get in shame about stuff. Like shame was a big thing for me. I'd be embarrassed and I'd get into a spiral where I just wouldn't deal with things. I'd be like, huh, I'm just ashamed of that. I didn't do it right. Or I'm a fuck up or I'll never do it right. I'll never be able to do that. I use this kind of language. It goes back to how we talk to ourselves, you know, it's like this is in your body. Believe it. You tell your body enough, you're never going to do nothing. Your body will start to be like, all right, we're never going to do that. You know, but it's like, I realized that it was more about actually just starting to go, nah, man, I can do that. You know what I mean? Like I can figure that out. And now I get motivated. Every time I've left that deer blind without one of them bucks, every time we get in the truck, I'm all, I'm smiles. Cam goes, how are you feeling? I was like, dog, I am going to get good at this. You know what I mean? Like I look at it different. I don't look at it like, oh, I suck. I look at it like dog. I am eight hours into 10,000 of these hours. You know what I'm saying? Like y'all be patient with me. I'm only on hour eight. You know what I'm saying? Like, but I promise y'all, I'll be a whole different day. But God, eight hours into something like that is so nice because you know, you have so much to learn. And if you just look at it that way, like what a beautiful blessing it is to have so many opportunities to do things. So many times that you're going to be able to learn so much time to grow. So much time to get better. You have so much room. I mean, if you already cam hands, boy, it's so difficult to get better. We're the best. Yeah, for sure. So hard. Yes, 100%. All you can do is help me. And, you know, he's just challenged by moments. So he just experiences a lot of challenging moments and he rises to the occasion because he knows, because he's got 30 plus years of experience doing it. And he knows how to do it. But for you, it's like you're in this beautiful place where it's all learning. Every day is a new lesson. Even mistakes like putting your hoodie on. Okay. Now we know. No, no, I'm going to wear the hoodie. I tell you what, tomorrow night I'm going to wear the hoodie if it's 80 because I don't care. I'm going to sweat in it. And then when it gets cold, I'm ready. Then be not ready. And you're going to have a bunch of those. I had one elk hunting this September that we were going after these elk that were in this thickly wooded section and we were in this open area. And we were, we were trying to figure out where this bull is because he was running cows through there and you would catch glimpses of them. And so we decided to move around to this new spot. And as we decided to move around to this new spot, we were like, you know what, we're going to have to go up this ridge and go around this way and come at him from another direction. So as we started to do that, he changed and he, he ran out through the woods into the clearing and I was stuck out in the open, just standing there like staring at my fuck. If I just stayed in cover, I would have gotten this motherfucker, but I got impatient and I tried to like run out and meet and, you know, it's one of those lessons. Like, okay. Now next time, 12 years in, that makes me feel. Oh God, I'm not even close to knowing what the fuck I'm doing. You know, I need a lot of lessons. I'm great as a pool table twice a square. It's bad. I'm out there so lost. Yeah. It's got to be at least entertaining for everybody. It's so exciting though. And you'll get that success. It'll, it'll come. I'm having so much fun. You know, I was like, I think I'm going to get a buck this week. I believe it. But if I don't, I got so many lessons and I'll be back the next week. They'll let me back to try. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You'll find the moment. You'll find the moment. It's going to come. It's going to come with persistence and just putting in the time. And I feel like the universe just gives you these opportunities. And when, when it's there, you'll have this big burst like this breakthrough moment, like, okay, I did it. I fucking did it. I did it. Okay. I'm going to cook this year. This year is you'll be salt in that thing and slap it on the grill and watch it sizzle. Smelling it. Oh, the smell. Oh, and then when you go to cook it, you're like, Oh my God, this is the best food I've ever eaten in my life is the best bite of food because it's a bite of food with an experience attached to it. It's not just a bite of food and it's the best meat on planet earth. The healthiest food you can get. You want to talk about like density. You were talking about like density of nutrition. There's nothing more dense than wild game. It's like twice as much protein as a piece of beef. Twice as much for the same amount of ounces. Yeah. It's, it's so good for you. Same calories. No, like probably less. Wow. You're eating an athlete. Oh yeah, for sure. You're eating like an athlete. You know, that's correct. I never thought of it that way. Yeah, man. I've never ate a bunch of game though. Obviously this is also new game is the best thing for you by far. There's no better food than wild. I've never had an oak stake. I want one. Oh my goodness. Try one. Oh, I wish I had one right here to cook for you. Oh, I wish I had a grill. We'll do one. The good news is we'll do it the right way. We'll cook one I kill. Yes. That'll be the big moment. Yes. If I waited this long, I might as well go smack. It'll be so exciting. It's and then you're then you're going to be fully, fully, fully, fully hooked. Yeah. Yeah. Once you actually do it, when I shot that mule deer that's on that table and you know, Rinella did the same thing that Cam did for you. You know, he took me, he showed me what to do. He took me out there and completely green. I never even shot a rifle before. I only shot a rifle like three. Luckily, and I'm not saying rifle hunting is easy for people that rifle hunt and think it's really very difficult. It's very difficult, but it's not as difficult as bow hunting. And which is why I was able to be successful on my first ever rifle hunt. You know, being successful on a bow hunt for mule deer. Good fucking luck. A bow hunting for mule deer has a very low success rate, like even with elite hunters. It's a because it's a very cagey animal. They're very intelligent, but super fast. To we were eating this animal. We shot it. We packed it out. We started a campfire. We were cooking it. And I remember Steve said to me, what do you think? I said, I'm doing this forever. Yeah. Forever. I knew at that moment I was like, well, I'm going to be a hunter now. Like that's what I'm doing forever because I was on my way to being a vegetarian. I was like, I don't I've watched too many PETA videos and I'm like, oh, my God, factory farming is so awful. It's so terrible. You know, I didn't understand like regenerative farming and ranching and I eat beef now. I mean, I never stopped eating beef. But eating wild games, a different thing. It's it's a different, like I said, it's food with experience attached to it. There's something very spiritual about it. And it's also it connects you to a part of mankind's history that is is it's intertwined in your DNA. Like there's something about it. You know, like for people that have never experienced before, you know, the feeling that you get when you catch a fish, even little kids, man. I remember my daughter caught her first fish when she was like six, she caught a bass and she was so excited. You get it. That is in our DNA because that means that you're going to live. You're going to eat. You're going to feed your family. That's why that is so exciting to catch a fish. Shooting an animal and killing it and eating it, knowing that you can eat it for months is that times like a hundred. Shooting an animal with a bow is that times a thousand. Oh, it made me think about it when I was thinking about animal killing and bows, especially now, because I'm thinking about this a lot, obviously, in the middle of it. But there's this thing that's happening there where it's like the concept that back in the day, a man left with this stick and piece of metal or just a stick back there, a shaved stick and upstream. It was like, if this goes good, I will come back with enough to feed our tribe. Yeah, this entire village of people, I will bring a deer and we will all eat together. That's crazy. It is crazy that that was once the way it actually went. And it was the only way this is from here. This who knows how old that is. Wow. Yeah. A friend of mine got that on his ranch and gave it to me. Oh, yeah, this is crazy. Yeah. So some Native American, probably Comanche, because it's here in Austin and that guy who made that made it himself. Attached it with sinew and and and twine and put it on a stick that he had shaved down and put feathers on it that he had got from a bird and and, you know, glue that they had made from they made glue from all kinds of different things. And and he he shot that probably into an animal and it fed its family. And then that was lost in the dirt. And then a thousand years later, somebody found it. It still stands. Yeah, that's a series. Yeah, it's crazy that he came home like a hero. Yeah, you know, man, you're right. That feeling of catching that fish. My daughter felt it too. When she was six, I took her bluegill fishing. Yeah, a little. I had a little spot in the lake where you could just drive and catch a bluegill almost every time, you know, they're pretty little fishes. It's so exciting for them. She would have a ball. Yeah, it's so exciting. She would have. I took my wife to a fish for the first time when she came moved down from Vegas. And I thought I wasn't thinking, Joe, this was a user error. But I was like, oh, my friends got a spot catfish pond. I was like, this is great. These though it out there. So get her a big old hog of a catfish. I wasn't thinking about how brutally hard it is to unhook catfish like compared to a bass or a bluegill. You know what I mean? And of course, I get a bass that swallows the fuck. So here we fight this bass. I mean, this is a catfish and she's all excited till it gets there. And it to this day was the most brutal ripping out of. She's never went back. She was disgusted. She was all in until after like once we got should have just clipped it through it back in, but I was just determined to get you know how you are when you're stuck. I was coming out and it was just horrible. Yeah, I just like, oh, yeah. But the good news is I think I've got her talking to one of the deer hunt after I do because Rion and goes cams assistant. She loves bunny and I think that'd be digestible for bunny. Like if she went with another chick that was cool, you know what I mean? Rion is a big time bow hunter. Yeah, she'll show her how to do it. Maybe she'll get hooked too. I know she was good because she was talking about hitting one yesterday. She was like, I had a shot on one of like 40 almost. I had one at 40 yards out, but I didn't have a shot. And right then I was like, you were going to take a shot at 40 yards if you had one. That's crazy bow hunting skill. Yeah. This the ability to shoot at distance is really tricky because you got to take into account wind, you got to take into account the movement of the animal. You got to be assured that that because like, like, um, there's just that elk that's on the wall out front with a photo of Cam and I, that was 67 yards. Yeah, we got a video of that. So this elk was standing at 67 yards and he's just stopped. He had fought off these other elk and he was tired and he just stopped in that arrow. I'll never forget that arrow. That I was like, right in the 10 ring. It was a perfect shot. And from almost 70 out. Yeah. And he ran and he just piled up. He just ran right over the top of this hill and boom. And he was done. But it was. That was years and years and years of every day in the backyard all day long. I mean, I, I shot so many hours. I fucked my shoulder up. I fucked my lower back. I was because I'm obsessive. Yeah. I will shoot for four or five hours a day and I'm pulling an 85 pound bow, like 150 times a day. It's ridiculous. Yeah, it's great. It's like on your body, it's your body's like, what the fuck are you doing? For sure. But I'm only pulling 45. But when you do that over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, it becomes a part of your central nervous system. It's like your brain just gets locked in. Your, your eye immediately goes to that peep site. It lines it up immediately with a sight housing. You balance it at all out. You put in the same place every time too. Always. Yeah, you have to. Yeah, you have to have anchor points. I've got a little, I got a bow, our nose button touches my nose. I feel that on my nose every time where the string touches my nose. This little thing just kind of pinches at your nose. Let you know you're in the right spot. Yeah, I'm going to go get Wayne to redo mine. He did it. But we had it where it just settled my nose perfect. And then I lost that weight. So I mean, more weight. I lost like 80 pounds as I got set for the bow. Oh, wow. Yeah, this is like the never ending problem in my life right now. Clothes are either super baggy or I got one size too early. So it's tight, you know, because I'm just having to constantly chase right at his neck. Right. I can't wait until I'm just a normal person. I get down a normal weight and, you know, put on a holiday weight like everybody else and that's the fluctuation. That's wild. I'm close though. You're so close. I got down. I'm in like the two sixties right now, 30 some pounds of skin on me. I'd like to lose another probably 40 is probably my goal. You're going to be under 200 pounds. That is that's the goal. That's the goal. I just want to see it once on a scale, just like as an adult male see 190. Just see like 199. You're like, wow, baby. It still feels weird telling people I'll waste something that starts with 200. I haven't weighed in the 200 since I was like 12. Well, you know, as you put on muscle, you might stay in the 200s, but it'll be a different 200. Dude, I'm packing, man. My I didn't my shoulders are like, I'm proud of my. Yeah, you look different, man. Like in every way, in every way. No, it's like my posture is better. Like I said, it's burdened by your rucksacking 300 pounds everywhere you went. All the time. That's crazy. And your legs must be so powerful. I say that to Ralphie May. Ralphie May, unfortunately, never lost the weight and did wind up dying young. But I say to Ralphie, I'm like, Ralphie, if you ever lost way, you get kicked through a fucking building with those legs. Like his legs were carrying around 500 pounds everywhere he went. Oh, yeah. And everywhere he'd stand straight up and do a whole hour. Yeah. Pacing the stage and killing it. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's just crazy. Yeah, it's like one of the best. He was a fun dude, too. Was he fun outside? Oh, yeah, he's a sweetheart of a guy. He was a great cook, too. And unfortunately, after a while, you know, he had he had done it with surgery and it didn't work. He, you know, like a lot of people that have that addiction, he couldn't stop. And he thought like surgery was the answer. So he got his stomach done and then he ate through it and then he had to get it redone like he blew it out. And so it got to a point where, you know, when they cut your stomach down, they shrink your stomach, the gastrointestinal bypass, he got to a point where he couldn't digest meat. So he would barbecue for us. Ralphie was a really good cook. So he'd make ribs that were sensational, but he couldn't eat them. He had to be in vegetables. Wow. Yeah, because his body wasn't, it wouldn't process the meat right. And that was after the bypass. Mm hmm. I think after the second bypass. See, that's a, and once again, it's like my heart hurts, you know, not that not that anybody could have made a difference, maybe, but man, I just wish. Yeah. I mean, maybe, maybe if he knew you and you guys did it together, I could have just sat down and be like, bro, I know, like, I think that's why me and you doing this podge so important to me was like, I know there's going to be people that are going to see clips of this that are 300, 400, 500 pounds. And I want them to, like, you can do it without a doubt. Like you really can't. It's like it's actually worth it. It's small steps. They're telling yourself the truth, doing what you say you're going to do, meaning it, keeping your word. But most importantly, food, food, food, food, food, dude. Like I just now started showing the runs and stuff. Like, because I think people appreciate seeing the work, but it's like, what was important really, the way it's not lost in that running, the running is what makes me feel good. It's fighting the demon. Right. The weight's lost whenever I sit down at the dinner table and I eat like a normal human. I don't eat seven plates and six desserts. You know what I mean? Like that's where it's at. And that's that. It's anytime I used to see guys like Ralphie and I would think it watching, I'd be like, man, when you get to that size, that's a, there's a mental component. There's something happening there. There's some trauma attached to it or there's a story that you're living in in your mind. That's just a, you know, your body's just reacting to a pattern that's always had, that you haven't been able to get it out. It's, there's something you've got to really go in and roll the sleeves up and find, kind of find it. Like I did every kind of thinking back to, I had, this therapist did the coolest thing, Joe. She looked at me and said, when do you first remember being big? I talked to my sister Shelby about this the other day and I said, uh, and she said what I said, which made me cry. Cause I never talked to nobody in my family about this. And I go, I think the first time I realized I was big was I was going to get school clothes for elementary school and then back then they had a section in the delerge called Husky. You remember this year old enough to remember they had a Husky section. That's crazy. You know what I'm saying? So, which is awesome, I guess, but, you know, and I just remember like not knowing what it meant, but just knowing it was different and knowing that like, I felt different. Like I felt like, I felt ashamed even at that age a little bit, being in this section, you know what I mean? Like, and I didn't understand why kids are so brutal. And then I talked to my sister the other day and I go, Shelby, man, um, do you remember the first time that you, that you thought I was an overweight kid? And she goes, Oh yeah, I'll never forget it. Dude, we took you to some store and they had a Husky section and you, you couldn't fit the jeans. You had to shop in the Husky section and she said, dude, it tore you apart. And I was like, wow. Okay. So I lived in that shame forever too. Forever. You know what I mean? Like just that constant shame, but I did that work in therapy. You know what I mean? And had, had related. That's why I said earlier, sometimes when I'm in the pantry, Mary B would be like, who's what version of you is in the pantry? Is it the kid you, is it the adult you that's not answering an email? Cause sometimes this is how deep addiction runs. Sometimes that relapse will be caused by literally an unresponded email that you just let sit there and torture you, but you don't notice it. Cause it's just nagging at you. Just that. Why don't you just tell that guy that you're not interested? Why don't you just tell, why are you avoiding that? Why are you avoiding that? Why you avoid everything you avoid every, this is your personality trait. You, you know what? There's thousands of things you need to be saying to people. You start eating what you're not saying. You know? So like, distract yourself, distract yourself. Even whenever I first got through this, I had to sit my wife down. Bunny, who is, I talked about a lot of this podcast. She is my anchor, Joe. She's the best thing that I think I've said this every time I've been in your podcast, the single best thing that ever happened to me was marrying the right fucking woman for sure. You know what I mean? And, um, Bunny, I sit down with Bunny and I'm, what was we talking about? I'm sorry. I got so excited about my wife. Well, you were talking about being husky, shame, why you don't answer emails, distracting yourself. Distracted. It's like you're just constant. The food is, um, a way of not having to deal with or even say, so I sit Bunny down. I go, baby, I'm probably going to start, give me some grace. I sit my whole house down and go, I'm going to try to do an effort to communicate how I feel in real time. And I might be abrasive at first because this is a new concept. I normally have to go like chew on things for a few hours to make sure I don't misrepresent my thoughts. You know what I mean? I was like, but sometimes in those few hours, I'll find myself in a pantry. To distract yourself. Yeah. So I was like, you know, if y'all just give me some grace and what I need y'all to do is just be a, be a mirror for me and just go, Hey, I got you. But think about the way you said that. Just, just put it back. Just make me see it. You know what I mean? Just mirror, make me mirror it. And they were so patient with me. Bunny, Bunny's a gangster though. She'd be the first one to be like, Oh, there goes a little lad, a little snippy there. Aren't we? The last holy huh? I'd be like fair. She'd be like, we probably, she's like, I got it. Probably could have said it different. Love you. I'd be like fair. You know what I'm saying? But it was just me learning how to communicate my thoughts. And now it's like, but it was so many of these little trigger things that I found that would be what would send me back into, I call, I keep saying the pantry, the pantry is the gas station. Anywhere I can closet eat. Right. I just give it a place. It's like a came came was telling me about the pain cave idea the other day. It's like to me, that's what the pantry's always been. Not the pain cave, but the idea of it's a, it represents a lot. You know what I mean? But when I'm in the pantry now, I know why I can literally once again reset, reconnect, reengage. You know what I mean? In any situation, if I'm at a party now and I think about eating or I think about drinking, I can go outside. I can hit a joint twice. I can reconnect with myself. What do you think about drinking for in there? What do you, what do you need to prove? Who are you embarrassed that you're not being cool enough around right now? That you think it'll make you a little more loose. You know what I mean? Like what get, get, be real with yourself, Jason. What's wrong here? Right. Right. And then you get it. You're like, yeah, I'm being weird, dude. I don't need to go in there and drink. I'm cool. You know what I'm saying? Like you're becoming a different person. Yeah, man. Yeah. Better version of who you really are. Yeah. And it's a beautiful thing because you're not just doing it for you. You're doing it publicly and you doing it publicly is going to change the lives of countless people. There's, there's probably a million people right now that are listening to this that are changing some aspect of their life because of what you're saying. That's why I didn't hide and do it. Joe, I've seen too many other celebrities go, go, go in the dark and lose a bunch of weight and try to come out with a big reveal. And it always just felt superficial and like it just didn't feel right. I was like, yo man, we should just like post about this. Like every workout, every day it's like. It's also good because it makes you accountable. Makes you accountable. Because you're putting it out there to the world. As long as you're not reading the comments. No, no, no. Fuck that comment. I don't even post it. Somebody else posted it. It's ghost if you go. That's better. That's better. But as long as you're not dwelling on other people's opinions and thoughts and because a lot of those people, one of the things that they do when they're saying negative things is they're avoiding introspection. They're, they're avoiding their own personal criticism of themselves. So they're doing that by putting that on you. So by putting negative thoughts on you and negative comments on you, what they're really showing is that they're damaged and that they're avoiding that, that self analysis that leads to you having to make changes for yourself. So instead they're just shitting on other people. That's all. There's a lot of people. That's an addiction. That's an addiction. That's a giant addiction that people have. Not just to being on social media, but to talking on some commenting on social media and being out, you know, just being negative. Well, my favorite quote is the booze mean nothing to me. I've seen what makes them cheer. You know what I mean? Yeah. You can't your booze mean nothing to me. I see what you cheer at. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you think I care about them booze. It also reminds me of the story of the donkey, the dude, the father and the donkey. I don't know if you've heard his story, but the sons, the father's walking with the son and the son's riding the donkey. And they're going through this little village and somebody goes, I want you to look at that. Look at that old man. Look, uh, look at that poor boy's making that old man walk. So the man thinks, oh, I don't want to think of bad of my grandson. So he tells the grandson, Hey, in the next town, right before we go, I'm going to hop on the donkey and you walk. So he hops on the donkey and they start walking. And somebody goes, can you believe that old man's making that little boy walk by himself? So he stops. He says, fuck it. I'll just buy the kid a donkey. So he buys the kid a donkey. They're going through the next city and they're, they're both walking beside their donkeys, right? No, they're both on their donkeys. And somebody goes, well, look at them two people, just being the death, being the death, them poor old donkey, them old donkeys just can't do nothing. He said the next town, he could tell us to the grandson. He goes, fuck it. We'll just walk beside the donkeys. So they're walking besides the donkey. And you know what? Somebody screams, don't you? Look at them perfectly too good donkeys. They're not using those donkeys should be good and put to work. And the moral is he couldn't do anything to make anybody happy. You know what I'm saying? It didn't matter what he did. He can never make everybody happy because everybody's not happy. That's the thing. It's like you can make happy people happy, but you can't. What percentage of people are legitimately happy? It's hard to get happy. It's difficult. You know what else changed for me was looking at happy different. I looked, we have, my wife has that quote in the house that says, we no longer search for happiness. We search to be useful. It's like the moment I quit looking for my happiness. Now I just look to be a tool. Like I walk in every situation with my hands open like, God, what you got for me here? Right? How can I bring value to this? What can I do? Can I motivate like, where can I be a little piece of you in this moment? You know what I mean? And that changed everything. Now I'm, I'm always by default, I'm always happy because I'm being useful. Right. You know what I mean? Like there's nothing more fulfilling than being useful. Yeah. But I wasn't, I quit chasing happiness. I just started chasing being useful. That's beautiful. Yeah. That's beautiful. It's a, it's an amazing story, man. And you're in the middle of it. You're, you're not done. Well, we've almost lost the weight. The transformation will be next. And the transformation, Joe, that will be something to watch. The weight loss, that's been cool to watch, but the transformation bubble. I'm coming, dude. And what do you mean by the transformation? Dude, it's like, I don't, I was, I'm kind of like, I see myself. I've never been able to see myself like this, but like. I'm going to be like in top shape, Joe. You know what I mean? Like I was watching you with them kettlebells today. And while I'm running, I was thinking to myself, the next time I do this podcast, if Joe has me back, God willing, I'll fucking, I'm going to do that workout with him and I'm going to blow his mind. I'm going to make him in that action bronches, my friends. So I say this out of love, I'm going to finish that workout. You're going to shake my hand and be like, dude, you did better in action. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's like, you know what I mean? Like I was watching it. Like I'm fucking coming for that. You know what I mean? Like that's the kind of shape I want to be in. Like man stuff. Joe, I didn't feel like a man. Dude at 500 pounds. I couldn't walk a mile. Um, my video got in and you met him a few times. Tall ball guy. It's real fun. He said something to me when I was losing his weight that broke my heart because he's such a good kid. I got when I finally got down to like two, seven, 300. He looked at me and said, dude, you're like, I just need you under 250. And I was like, what for? And he was like, cause then if anything ever goes wrong, I know I can throw 250 pounds over my shoulder and I can fire him and carry you out of somewhere. And I was like, what a sweet soul that you have secretly been looking at me all these years. Like what if something happens to the jelly and I can't get them up? Right. You know what I mean? Like what a just genuine swell. Like I didn't realize how much my weight was affecting everybody. Well, people who love you know that this is not sustainable. And if they love you and they love being around you, they go, how much longer is he going to be here? Right. Yeah. And when you're 40 years old and you're 500 pounds, it's like the answer is not long. Yeah. It's your body can't do, you know, and everybody's different. Some people don't even make it to 40. No, I could feel it happening. Like I was, I was scared of the way I would sleep in certain positions. Right. Like I would have nightmares that I was going to die. Stop breathing. And if I rolled the other way, I'd suffocate myself. You know what I mean? Like it was just, you know, there, if I, I've rolled over one time on my stomach and I was so fat that the way I rolled over, I'd trap my left arm under me. And my right arm almost wasn't strong enough to get me up enough to let the left arm loose. Oh my God. I'm panicking like you're suffocating. I'm going to die right here because I just physically don't have enough strength in one arm to get me from, you know, you roll over like this to get me up off of my other arm. I can tell you right now I can do 20 pushups though. That's a man. I know it don't sound like a lot to the listener, but from where I'm coming from, big deal, you know what I'm saying? I'm a better shape than Burt Kreischer for sure. You know what I'm saying? I love you, birdie boy. Yeah, you've done what he wants to do, but he never can do. I will say this to him and Tom boy, they better bring their A game to the 5k this year. Don't look up and I look like Tanner or Truett Haines running with spucking jeans on. Yeah. He's, he's interesting because he's got it in him. He can lose weight. Like when Tom and him first had that weight loss challenge, Tom went with it and never went back. Tom looks great. He's looks fucking amazing. He's thinner than he's ever been before. He's like 180 now. Burgam said he's getting in shape. Yeah, man. He works out hard. I secretly want to beat him in the 5k, but it's a big, it's a big dude. I'm on your ass Tommy buns. Well, when I met Tommy, Tommy was like real big and he was eating bad and, you know, and him and Burt both decided to have this weight loss challenge. So we had this podcast together. They lost all the weight, you know? And Burt got pretty thin too, man. They both lost a lot of weight. You know, they did it over the whole month of October. And then when they came in, Tom, they all, they weight each other on the scale and Tom won. And so Burt had to shave his beard and they did it, you know, live on the air. It was fun. We had a good time though, but it was, it was this moment where Tom realized, okay, I don't ever want to be fat again. And he never was fat again. He just, he gained a little bit of weight and then lost it again, but he never got fat again. And now he looks fucking, he looks tremendous. I mean, you go back and watch his earlier comedy specials, was this big old moon face. And then look at him now. He would never even imagine that guy was ever fat. No, for sure. It's back when he had the moon face, the black button down and he was balding up top and wouldn't commit. Yeah. No, totally different Tom. He's a different human. He's a different human now. And Burt goes back and forth. Burt will lose a bunch of weight and then get big as fuck again. Yo, yo. Yeah. With Burt, it's booze, man. It's booze. It's all booze for Burt. Yeah. It was. It's food too. Yeah. I mean, the motherfucker will go to McDonald's in order like 30 Big Macs. Yeah. He's a fucking animal. Well, you know, the left hand will wash the right hand in those situations. You put a little alcohol in you. You're not thinking, you know what? I think a Caesar shallot with a salmon is pretty good tonight. You're like, somebody take me in and out, baby. Yeah. I relate. I used to, my chef had a note one night. We looked through all my weight loss before this pod and he had a note where I went drinking heavy one night and I was probably five hundred fifteen pounds and he was just like, even in his note, he was like not sustainable. He can never lose the weight drinking this way. You know what I mean? Like it was just, Ian Laris was just that and he sat me down and was like, Bubba, I don't care what I feed you. I can't out work. You get drunk and you eat 3000 calories of shit after you drink 3000 calories of tequila. Right. Right. You know what I mean? I was like, I got to quit drinking. Yeah. You know, just just the stone cold thing I had to come with. Yeah, that's terrible for you. And when you see Burt with that enormous belly, that's all just alcohol and inflammation. It's like so bad for you. And Bert's 50 now. You know, it's like, and we got the same doctor. God, no, but yeah, but Bert don't listen. No, no, Bert don't listen. But he's also, he's, he's also an athlete though. The problem with Bert is that that dude, this is what I love about Bert. That makes Bert so special. Is it Bert? You remember when he ran about half marathon or marathon or something without training, like he ran a whole marathon without any training at all. That's Bert. And he was fat. No, that's, he ran 26 miles. This is just like Bert at who he is. So yeah, it's that really hard thing to tell a guy it's like, yo, be careful, Bubba, but it's also like he go bust the 10 K out today. If you made him just out of spite, you know what I'm saying? Like, no, he's, he's got extraordinary genetics that he abuses. Picky metal, Jane, dude, it's real, man. It's fucking real. Yeah. No, it is real. It is real, you know, but he's, he's playing a game that you can never win. Right. He'll never win that game. That eventually one day your, your, your heart will go, check, please. And that's it. Yeah. You know, and hopefully he catches it before that. You know, and that's what everybody who loves him wants. It's just he's also got this mindset that his whole success is connected to him being this party animal. It's not though. It's connected to you being Bert. It's connected to you being one of the most genuine, sweet, funny show up for you dudes I've ever met in my life. Like six pack or 400 pounds, dude, your heart is the size of a horse. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like Bert Kreischer is the new friends. That's one of the ones I pray for. And Bert Kreischer, Cam Haines, I prayed for new friends. He sent me a bunch of really cool ones, a bunch of wild ones. Joe Rogan, Tony Hinchcliffe, a bunch of fuck ups, but they were good dudes. You know what I'm saying? Like real, real slightly outside of normal people, but are great guys. You know, and Bert Kreischer is a great, my, his friendship's done a lot for me. I hope me showing up. He hasn't really seen me, but whenever wrestling, but I think when I show up to this five K and I do it in 30 minutes, I hope that's the moment Bert's like, all right, baby, I'm with you, jelly. You know what I'm saying? Well, he's just got to realize that his success will always be there. He doesn't have to be drunk to have that success. Like he'll he'll he does sober October sometimes. And one time recently he did it and he called me up and he's like, uh, I just haven't been drinking. I feel so much better and I really think I'm done. I go, you should be done, man. You don't need it. You don't need it. He's like, you're right. I think I'm done. And then right back to it. You know, it's it's hard, but in those moments of clarity, he realizes maybe he'll hear this and he's funny. That'll be it. He's, I think he's funny either way. Oh, he'll be funny either way. Yeah, I've woke up with more hilarious. Yeah. He'll probably be more funny. Bird at breakfast to me is just funny as bird at night. You know what I mean? Oh, for sure. Yeah. For sure. It's in healthier. It's like I've been very fortunate in life. One of the most fortunate things though, is the group of people that I've been connected to. It's very, like we were talking about that. It's very important. It's very important. And Bert is connected to a lot of really good people. And hopefully that'll lead him on a similar, I mean, everybody has their own timeline. Everybody has their own way of doing it. Everybody has to have their own moment too. You know, I had to have mine. I just, my thing for Bert or anybody out there is that if you're just don't let it get there if you can. Right. I just pray, man. If I, I feel like I don't think I'm making this up when I say I think I was six to 12 months away from missing it. Especially traveling. You know, I traveled 280 days a year. Right. At 500 something pounds. Yeah. 200 something flights a year. 250 flights a year. So bad for you. I just, I couldn't, I wasn't going to be able to do it. I knew it. You know what I mean? And, and lucky at once again, I had a wife that was just super supportive. She was supportive through all the phases though, but she was just like, yo, this is time. And she went out of her way. The first, the first three months of the diet, I probably left this part out because I'm embarrassed about it, but I should tell it. The first three months of the diet, I had to sit down with her and go, look, I need you to hide the food. Like I will find it. You know what I'm saying? Like I need you to hide the food. So her and my daughter Bailey found like all these cool, like I still don't know where they were. I never found it. You know what I mean? But they hid everything for me. Like there was nights I'd walk in that pantry and it would be like a banana. You know what I'm saying? I'd be like the entire pantry was God. I'd be like, fair, you know what I mean? Like it was cool. But once again, it goes back to the Fox, the mole and the horse. I never asked for help before. Right. I never would get out of my own ego enough. I just say everything I was going to do and then not do it and then get mad when they asked, when they try to encourage me. But maybe even more importantly, you were helping yourself. You, it wasn't just you were asking for help. You weren't asking for help while you weren't doing anything. You were asking for help while you were helping yourself. And they were like, OK, I think he's really doing this. That's it. Yeah. There's really a change going on. And it goes back to that rain walk. Yeah. Whenever they, you know, you don't have to go. And then when I went, they cheered it. It's a great moment that it did happen in the rain, you know, because it makes it even more significant. It makes it more, you know, meaningful. It's so real. Yeah. And I keep mentioning God because my faith in Him grows so much stronger every day. But I truly believe that that was a God thing. You know what I mean? That all those weird things. It's like, you know, you walk out and be like, you know what? Even the hill. Do I have I've lived on hills my whole life and never walked up one. I'm from Tennessee. They're nothing but hills. I go downhill. That's what I do. It's a fat person trait. You know what I'm saying? We look cooler, move faster, you know? And immediately just like, no, man, we're hitting hills, dude. Like every time I can hit a hill, I'm now looking for hills in life. You know what I mean? Like I'm looking for like, how can I make this run a little harder? Like when Cam tells me we're at mile five, he's like, I'm proud of you. You did your PR. I was like, we better do six to them, baby. It ain't a 10 K. We don't do another mile point to. You know what I mean? Like immediately I was like, we got to go. Yeah, it's just been it's the it's the it's the effort. But helping the self and knowing you want to change and then not being afraid to just go ask not being ashamed to just go to your wife. Because that's a little embarrassing. Maybe like, hey, can you just like had the dark chocolate? And they're who dark chocolate bars? Bunny is extremely healthy. You know what I mean? Like has always been them. Who dark chocolate bars are so good? But the problem is, I don't know how to eat one. They're only three hundred and eighty calories. But if there's five of them in there, right, I'll eat all five for sure. You know what I'm saying? You know, so some nights you leave me a half a bar out or something. You know what I mean? Like rations until I until I could control it until I knew that. And then now my pantry is back full. Well, now you're addicted to the success of what you've already accomplished, which is a good addiction. It's the good addiction being addicted to being healthy is the best addiction you could find because I don't think you're going to get out of the addiction mindset. I think what addiction is, I think there's a reason why it exists in the human mind. And I think it exists because it's the same thing as obsession. And obsession allows you to be a successful hunter. It's like hunter's persistence. If you don't have that obsessive drive, you won't keep going until you're succeeding. And if you do, if you do have that, you'll feed your family. If you don't have that, everybody dies. I think that's like programmed into the human psyche. It's programmed into the human mind, but it can be hijacked by gambling. It could be hijacked by pornography. It could be hijacked by video games. It could be hijacked by a host of different things, drugs, alcohol, anything, food, fill in the blank. I think that that is where it happens. So you get addicted to all kinds of things that are negative or you can get addicted to positive things. Meaningful conversation. Yes. Exercise. Sure. I'm addicted to meaningful conversations. Yeah. I used to be addicted to small talk. It's hard to find them. You know, stuff like this, like meaningful, like rich. I'm searching for rich conversations. Even in my relationships with my wife, like in my health, our conversations are getting deeper. Yes. You know what I mean? Like, I never thought I could know this woman I love so much better, but I'm getting to know her better. Like we're getting deeper in the foxhole together. We're getting deeper in the shadows of each other's crevices. It's like, I'm looking for that. I'm looking to pour into people, man. It's just, dude. Yeah. It's that's another thing about phones that makes it very difficult, you know, for people to have meaningful conversations because everybody is so attached. They're goddamn devices. Even when you're talking to them, they're checking this and checking that. And you feel they're going, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's real. Oh, yeah. And they're just scrolling and half paying attention to you. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's hard. It's like one of the things that I've said about this podcast is like one of the most unexpected things about it is this education that I've got in talking to people, not just like listening to their stories and listening to whatever their expertise is. And, but it's also just the learning how to talk to people because you're sitting here for three hours or whatever it is with no distractions and no interruptions. And because of that, you learn this sort of ebb and flow of human conversation. So for me, it's so hard to have a bad conversation when I'm out with people that are bad at having conversations to me. It's fucking painful. It's like, oh God. Yeah. It's like, it drives me crazy. It's one watching people talk over people, watching people that aren't listening. They're just waiting for their time to talk. Yeah. It's such a connection, man. And a lot of those people that are missing that goes into these, the byproducts of lack of connection are addiction, isolation, loneliness. These are the side effects of not connecting with people. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that phone has tricked us into thinking that we're connecting with thousands of people. Right. And we're actually not connecting with anybody. Not connecting with a single person. We're being more lonely and more comparative. It's trap. Yeah. It's a real trap because you're getting input. There's some input. There's some words that come from a person, I guess. And so, but there's no human, like we're designed to talk to each other this way. The spiritual fulfillment, the psychological fulfillment that comes from talking to a human being and making a genuine connection and understanding more about that person. And then by also doing that, you understand more about yourself. Like when someone reveals something to you that's very meaningful and very intimate, like you go, Oh, wow. Like, what is it about? Why does that? Maybe I could be better at that. Maybe I could do this or maybe I can, maybe I'm looking at myself the wrong way or looking at people the wrong way. And you know, and you just like this slow learning process of how to interact with people better. And it's, it's, that's all kids today that are on their phone all day long. They're the psychologically stunted, you know, that's we're stunting their social growth and their development of just most people don't, most kids today barely know how to communicate with each other. Especially even long form like this. It's the ability to really get, you don't really know how somebody feels about something until you really get into a conversation, like real conversation. And these kids aren't having those conversations with each other. It's all in micro clips and micro spots. And me and my daughter talk about this a lot because lucky for I was, I was blessed that she's a conversation list. She's kind of, she's like me. She will have a meaningful conversation. So I'm, but I look at my nine year old who's a little younger than her. Obviously she's 17. My daughter goes to college next year. And my nine year old's a little different though. He doesn't, he communicates good, but he's still in that, you know, video game world. Like he just, it's a different thing where Bailey still really appreciates us sit around the, I don't know, man. I grew up in a household where we, I told you the story. My mom would sit at the kitchen table and tell us stories like me and you were talking right now for hours. We had a JRE every night. You know what I'm saying? You know, she smoked cigarettes and tell stories and it was just like super charming. And, you know, it's, um, so my daughter grew up a lot like that. And I'm really proud of that. You know, that she grew up sitting in a room and having those kind of commerce, like real long form. Cause that's how you know how you really feel about it. What therapy did for me too was whenever I quit doing things at a surface level. When it started going, yeah, that's cool. But like really, when was the first time you were a member being fat? I think people have a hunger for it, which is why, um, this emergence of long form conversations into the zeitgeist has been surprising to a lot of people. Because, you know, when I first started doing this podcast, one of the funny things that Arish Shafiro always said to me that I'll never let him live it down. Cause he was always like, you got to edit your show. I go, why? He was nobody wants to listen to three hours. I go, then don't listen. I don't care. I go, it's, I'm doing it for no money anyway. Like back then it was like, it was, it was costing me money. I was like, I'm just doing it for fun, man. I don't care. I put it out there. They don't want to listen to the whole thing. They don't have to listen to the whole thing. There's another one coming out in a couple of days. Listen to that one. Listen to five minutes. I don't give a fuck. And he was like, you should edit it. It's going to fuck up your show. And I'm like, all right, whatever. And then now I'm like, remember when you told me that? Because I don't think that people realize how many people are starving for real conversation. Just the, you know, this is one of the reasons why, like when that Kamala Harris thing went down where I had Trump on the podcast and Kamala Harris kept resisting coming on the podcast, they wanted to do it for like 45 minutes. They wanted to do it in a conference room with a bunch of aides around. They wanted to do it in DC. I was like, no, no, it has to be here and it has to be three hours. Like she's got to sit down like, because it takes a while to get inside someone's head. You got to, you taught, you could bullshit me for 40 minutes. For 40 minutes, you could have a bunch of canned speeches and a bunch of shit you prepared and a bunch of like bullshit answers. But I'll ask you like what you like to cook. I'll ask you like, do you exercise? I'll ask you, what's your favorite book? I'll ask you like all kinds of different things. And then we'll start talking. We'll start talking about like, did you ever think you were going to be this person? Like what, you know, what led you here? Like what, give me some real shit. Give me some real shit. Well, you can't. This is why I've always loved your pod is that it's where I go find out who people are, yeah, because it's so easy and I'm in the media, right? To go sit down for 20 minutes and like. Smile and smile. Just get it out of the way. You know what I mean? But like, yeah, exactly. But it's like, you give me three hours with somebody. They got to show me who they are. Yeah. Somebody's Joe is going to find out who this person is. You know what I mean? Like he's going to. It's like, and that's back to like, because we don't know who we are until we start having real conversations. Right. This goes back to back to what mean you started with this is that we don't know who we are until you started having real. I don't know how it started, whether it was in the green room with some of your comic friends, you were like, dude, we have the greatest conversations in here. We should do this. You know what I mean? Like these are funny. I don't know, but something happened where you recognize like. This is rare that people have conversations this funny, this good, but also this cathartic, like there's moments we've laughed. We've cried like it's every podcast. Years. You know what I mean? We're because you can't spend three hours with somebody and not see the full dynamic human. Yeah. And I think there's a hunger that people have for finding out that other people have similar thoughts to them and maybe not even maybe different thoughts in similar situations and that someone is out a better way of approaching something and it's educational, like to your soul. There's something about it about like, we all want to pretend that we exist in a vacuum and everybody wants to pretend they're a loner and I'd rather be alone. Like, shut up. No, you wouldn't. You'd only rather be alone if the people around you suck. If the people around me suck. Yeah, I'd rather be alone, but I have great friends. I like being around my friends. It's like it's, it's not shallow to want to be around a bunch of awesome people. But there's this thought that like, you know, that we, we are, that we exist on our own and you don't. We're a collective. Like the human species itself is a hive and it's one of the things we're learning about the negative impacts of that hive being connected to social media because you're not really connecting with people. But we're also experiencing this thing that's similar to a hive. And so there's a, a writer, Avi Levinivitz, who talks about this and the way he described it rather is that it's like process food. You're getting processed information and instead of real information, like on social media, you're getting this processed thing that's boiled down with no nutrients in it. But you keep consuming it because you're so hungry because you're not getting the real thing. You're just stuffing your face with, stuffing your mind with process information. I think that's an app way to put it because that's really what's going on. It's like we all want real connection. We're just worried. We're worried that someone's going to reject us. We're worried that someone's going to be rude to us. We're worried, worried that someone's judging us, that someone's going to think they're better than us or that they're going to think we lack or whatever, whatever it is. There's this like, there's a thing that we all hunger for. And I think for a lot of people, the, what they get, if they don't have it near them, if they haven't done what you've done and found a great group of friends, they can get it through podcasts. They can get it through people talking and communicating and being real and, and being interested and being curious and learning and just being, being cool to each other. And, and if it's, it's heartwarming. It's like it fills something in you that we're, that we're missing because we're being poisoned by these fucking devices. And we're only seeing these little snippets of people like back to the conversation, like we see comments, like a paragraph. And then we, people building entire thoughts around a paragraph. And you don't even know what that dude's thought was. It's just a paragraph on the internet. You didn't actually talk to that guy to see what that was. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's that, that thing of like, I had it. I didn't play on talking about this, but it's a perfect time because I learned such a lesson in it. I was on my laptop one day on Instagram.com and it was the day of the double awards, which is a Christian music awards. And I had a gospel song get nominated for a Grammy this year. What's it called? The double awards, the dove, D O V awards. Double awards. And it's like the Christian Grammys. Okay. It's been around for a long time, gospel music association. I have a, I did a song with a Christian artist this year named Brandon Lake. It's called hard fought hallelujah. It's, I got to sing it at the Vatican Joe. Oh wow. I got to sing this. We pull that clip, Jamie. I sang in St. Peter's square Joe. Oh my God. First live concert ever in St. Peter's square right outside of St. Peter's St. Peter's Basilica was our, this is it. Wow. Right here. Watch St. Peter's Basilica. That's the Basilica right there. I got goose. Look at that. That's the square bubble. That's Vatican city. Look at this. That's incredible. I will tell you. That's incredible. Biasly. It might have been my best vocal performance of my career. Wow. Look at that Joe. But you're already losing weight by then. Yeah. No, for sure. This was about six months ago. I showed you how much I've lost since then. It did. You look like a different person even now to that. Dude, what's funny when you're five. When you're 500 pounds, you lose 20 pounds. You don't really see it. Look how beautiful that is. Dude. I, I went out to soundcheck Joe. And of course y'all know I'm emotional by now, but I couldn't even get through soundcheck. I was crying so hard, but watch this part right here. You'll see my hand shaking. I'm shaking up there. You see it? Wow. I am shaking. You see the mic? Watch the microphone hand because it's the one that doesn't lie. Y'all know that. The other one you can shake while you're moving it, but the microphone hand. Look at it. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Wow. It was, um, wow. And I'll tell you a story about this. That's incredible. I know I keep bringing up God things, but they called me to do this. And it was, um, Pharrell and Andrea Bacelli put this together. Okay. And I love Pharrell. He's a dear, dear, became a friend of my sweet guy. And I go, okay, cool. And I get there and Teddy swims is there and Jennifer Hudson. I love Teddy's. Teddy swims is the dude, baby. Oh man, that dude's got a voice. He's got a voice dog. It is red. You had him on you? No, we've been talking. No, we're going to do it. Please. He's next. I love that. He's bringing for his next. He's a he's a good conversation to me. I believe it. Sweet. So a little Georgia boy to Southerners, Southerners, Collar Green. You're gonna love me. Just like me. He reminds me of you. He's the sweetest. That motherfuckers sing his ass off. It's not fair. Woo. It's not fair. I want him sing with the celli. And I mean, if you're standing next to the celli and you got a voice, think about that. So I get there and I'm like, all right. So what's the story here? And everybody was either singing with Pharrell or Bachelet. But me. I was the only person in that whole event that was singing alone. So I get super nervous. I'm like, why did I end up alone? You know what I'm saying? I was like, yeah. I was like, oh, shit. If Brandon Lake couldn't make it for some reason, I was like, this is bad. I've never been more nervous. I go out for soundcheck. I'm balling, crying. And I'm like, dude, this is so crazy. And then I walk out and I'm like, when I go to do it right before I go out, they come to me and go, hey, Jennifer Hudson's going to come out at the very end and do hallelujah with you or just do hallelujah. You just praise for a minute while she does it. I was like, the Jennifer Hudson. They were like, yeah, I was like, so Jennifer Hudson walks over to me. I love her. She goes. All right. What do you want? She's so sweet. She's like, I'm open for notes. You got any suggestions? It's one of the greatest female vocalists ever. I do not have a suggestion. We'll start there. I am Jennifer. I'm embarrassed you have to sing near me. But I'm like, and she goes and then it hit me and I looked at her and I'll never forget this moment. She goes, what do you think we should do? I said, we give them Jesus. I said, I think that's why I'm here alone. I think, you know, I'm the one that's supposed to bring Jesus here. Like, I know it's a Jesus thing, obviously, but like we're supposed. This is supposed to be a, she grew up in the South too. She grew up Chicago. You know, she grew up Midwest and I go, this is supposed to be the church we grew up in Jennifer. She was like, I saw I needed to hear. Oh, Joe, just when I had the best vocal performance of my life, Jennifer Hudson comes out and takes them to church. We, it's a full praise and worship at that point. 200 choir members, hands up in the sky. We're in front of St. Peter's facility. They're worshiping out there, dude. Hands are in the sky, dude. It was, it would watch it after the show if you can. It's worth five minutes. It'll, it'll make you tear up a little bit, dude. It was like, it was, oh dude, it was such a Jesus moment. And I even started, I'm looking at the card and I'm going, can we get a little praise for Jesus in here tonight? Can we get a little praise for Jesus in here tonight? And I'm just, you can see the veins in my face, Joe. I don't remember it. I just was just there. You know what I mean? Like it's just, I just literally look right then. And this is where Jennifer Hudson's going to come out. Wow. This people lined up in the street too. This is why. Oh dude, what you don't see is the only reason you don't see people on the side streets is because they finally get rid of them. When it first opened, there was like all over Rome. You just could not move. Like, like six, 700,000 people were down there trying to see this thing. It was the first time they've ever done live music at the Vatican. I couldn't believe I got that call, Joe. That's crazy. And then what I got there, I was, I just kept being more confused. I was like, hold on. I'm the only one that's not singing with the two people that put this event together, literally the only artist cause Jennifer Hudson sang with him, Teddy swang with him. I was like, what am I here for? You know what I'm saying? I just could not figure it out. I never had more imposter syndrome. And I prayed and I was like, God, I cuss. I smoke. I don't, how am I, how am I being a vessel here? Like I don't like, and then that's whenever I was just, I heard it just so clear. Like, dude, just, just open your hands. Just. Yeah. Got you. Yeah. I want to play you something. So you remember that Craig Morgan moment where you, you talked about it when you were on stage at the opera? Oh yeah, almost. I'm, yeah. It's one of the coolest. Let's play that. I want to play that cause we're going to show you something. I'm going to show you something. Um, that was a really powerful moment because you were talking about how you would listen to that song in prison. You know, and, um, and how you went to the opera and you sat there. I think you were in the seventh row. So exactly where I was six or seven. I was right back there stage left. And you, and you talked about it when you were on stage the first time you were ever on stage at the opera. I want to play that first and we're going to play something else. Yeah, it was crazy dude. Do you have it, Jamie? You want me to send it to you? Yeah. While you're looking that up, can I do something right quick? Yeah. I'm in love. My wife's got a book coming out here by this call stripped down. It's coming out in February. She finally wrote her life story. I've never been more proud of a human in my life. Y'all, I'm so proud of you. In February, you deserve this girl. Beautiful. I brought you a copy. Here it took me 36 years to make it to the stage. Big jelly. 500 pounds. Look at size. It's the most special. Yes, sir. Night of my life. We're going to sing you also music for the soul from the soul. This song is called Son of a Center, baby. You got that plaque. I'm going to be more honest than I probably should be. In 2008, I was incarcerated in a local penitentiary. I had made some horrible decisions. I pound the street. And music. You did it, big boy. You need a jelly? Jelly. Jelly. Jelly. Jelly. Jelly. Jelly. Jelly. Jelly. Jelly. Jelly. Jelly. While incarcerated, I had a little girl. She's in the crowd tonight. She's now 13 years old. I remember sitting in my jail bunk when I knew she was born and thinking I had to do something to change my life. I came home and I pursued the dream of music by selling mixed tapes and t-shirts out of the trunk of my car. Right here in Nashville, Tennessee. I married my best friend. We have full custody of that 13-year-old now. And he made jail sale. I found strength in country music. I used to listen to Craig Morgan sing almost home in my jail sale and think, I'm going to change my life when I get home. I came home and googled Craig Morgan, live performance. And he was right here at the Grand Ole Opry. I sat right there with that man with the ball cap and the seventh row back on this row is sitting. No line. I watched Craig Morgan cry. For those of y'all that don't know, I make music for the broken. I make music for the have-nots and the lost causes in life. The ones that have been through something and overcame it. If you haven't been that person, you know somebody who has and I represent that person. I want to dedicate this song to everybody who's ever felt worthless and found their way out of that dark place. This record is certified gold. It is called Save Me. Thank you. Living in jail. They say my lifestyle is bad for my health. It's the only fact that seems to fail. A hall of this drinking and smoking is hopeless but fear might get solid. Something inside of me is broken. I hold onto anything that sets me free. I'm a lost cause. I'm not a reporter. Brian from Zaynus Dorfman, baby What is it like seeing yourself Dude, what is it like seeing yourself that big and see yourself in that? Well, huge moment one. I love you man. You tricked me again I thought we were getting off the pod so I was like, oh, I just want to show my wife's book out right quick And then you were showing me video I'm gonna show you something else too I'm gonna show you this buddy Give me some volume Congratulations on all the great things happening in your career and to thank you for the positive difference You're making in the lives of so many people who need the help You're doing great work, buddy And I'll never forget meeting you on the Grand Ole Opry and how much it meant to me to hear you say my music helped You get through some really tough times. That's one thing country music does really well And who would have ever dreamed back then that I'd be back at the Opry house today to say jelly roll You're officially invited to become a member of the Grand Ole Opry. It's an honor to say welcome to the family, brother He wanted to play that for you when you're here Yeah, for sure I love you too Yo, that's like Get no bigger in country music bubble It's just a big kiss yo, you know what fucking grand ol Opry dog. Oh Dude, I used to buy tickets to go there And I remember I googled Man I cry a lot on this pot. It's a fuck I googled um Craig Morgan. I heard almost home in jail and You've heard the song right? Mm-hmm. It's like the most tear-jerking song about homeless man And it just reminded me of jail just you know no matter where you are at the mind strong It just I came home and the song is so much I was like Craig Morgan live It's like Grand Ole Opry house and I was like I'll go Barely afford tickets. I think I talked some girl in the bottom for me I went sat by myself and I ankle brace it on so it's a show It's so went off at nine I had to be home at nine so I was like if he's the last one I'm screwed He comes out and sings almost home and I had I'm not bullshitting. I've maybe cried ten times in my life at that point and I cried Cryed I cried like I'm crying here now and I just remember thinking man I Want to make people with I Can't believe I made him remember the Hopper dog Want to make people feel the way he makes me feel That's what I want to do Well, you've done that man You've done it brother, but did it Joe? Man, that's crazy Joe. Oh dude, fuck Dude, I'm the first person ever got invited to the Grand Ole Opry podcast. Yeah, it's awesome. Oh Sorry, let's see it when first second. I just figured You Did it brother do that up you did what you wanted to do that feeling that he gave you you've given to many many people It's an incredible gift You know there's such so few people in life that have touched people the way you've touched people Thank you Joe man. It's just What a dream dude I used to I used to write on my vision board my wife first got together that your podcast was the number one thing I wanted to do every year because I always felt like I'd have a Joe dirt moment on here You know, I always felt like somewhere I'd be sitting here telling my story in the world would be tuning in You know and it'd be fucked the fact that I'm on your podcast factor my friend. I love you brother. I love you brother Thank you man. Of course. Thanks for letting me on the podcast, but I just never thought this was a journey dude I thought I'd die young or I thought I'd kill myself. I didn't think I was gonna be able to figure it out You figured it out and you're figuring out more every day Every day and I think through that other people are as well I hope they're figuring out their life for sure just through your songs through your words through your acts through your deeds Through your life through the way you've chosen this new path For sure for sure you change people's lives. I hope man and you are you are changing people's lives I will tell you 100% without doubt you are changing people's lives and you're enriching people's lives By being you by being a real person going through a real life moment You know and and doing it the right way. Yes, sir. Yeah slow. It's not easy Doesn't have to be easy telling the truth ain't always no It's not supposed to be easy. It was easy. It wouldn't be so fun gratifying. Yeah, dude God Joe man a member of the Grand Ole Opry dog My name on the sheet Bubba when you come in the back of the Grand Ole Opry They have them all and I'm shaking Joe like when that deer was in a stand They have these plaques that they put the name on and the first wall has only got two rows left of flax Wow, I played there a couple months ago And I remember looking going thinking to myself the negative behind me was like fuck I'm gonna be on the new wall if I ever make it won't be on this one. You know what I mean? Just like even then I was having a moment. I was like if they ever actually You know, I never thought I like when um when Jordan and Jen invited me to the Grand Ole Opry I never thought that would happen. I never thought that I'd be allowed to play the Grand Ole Opry You know what I mean? Yeah, and then to be a member of it And I'll never forget watching Luke Combs when they asked him to be a member and just just like I think it's the first time I ever seen Luke emotional, you know, and I just remember being like no, I don't ever have it Just like I remember looking at Cam like I'll never be able to run a 5k or you know what I mean? Like yeah, like man, I don't know it can happen dude, man if God gets involved you have a little humility I think the rest can work itself out Joe. You know what I mean? Amazing things can happen if you live your life true Baby amazing things can happen if you live your life true Well, I know you don't leave Texas much, but you can come see me at the Opry sometime now You gotta come see me now that I'm a member dude The show 100% I get to see my mail there now too. Wow. Yeah, that's crazy Dude, I was like all the OG's got their mail there Johnny and him Wow. It was like really really cool It's like a super legend there So I almost write me a letter suited to the Grand Ole Opry Oh, dude that's incredible Man, that's I didn't even dream of it. I got a got a Make things bigger than your dreams somebody out there right now is dreaming of something and it's too small Dream bigger baby. Dream bigger baby. You know what I mean? That's it. Oh Let's wrap it up that was perfect way to end this I love you brother. Thank you You