Fat Skinny Eyes

Hey, bad friends! I am so excited to announce that this weekend, December 6th, in Los Angeles at LA Valley College, I am putting together the first annual Ho Ho Homers, a home run derby event for Southern California Special Olympics. I would love to see you out there from noon to four. Come and donate. There's crazy silent auction items, autograph jerseys, all sorts of merch, tickets, events. You can win a four-some to play golf with me at Sherwood Country Club in beautiful Thousand Oaks, California. Please come out and see us December 6th, LA Valley College. If you are out of the LA area, you just want to donate and support Southern California Special Olympics, go to the link that's in the description down below. It's s-o-s-c dot org slash ho ho homers. We'll put the link down below. But happy holidays and hope to see you there. Hey! Guess what, guys? We have new merch and check this shirt out. I love this shirt because this is one I have almost died. That's when you almost died out back. It's one of the most traumatic moments, Bobby Blading. It's a great shirt. We have it on a long sleeve like that. We have it on a short sleeve. And we also have this hoodie, this white hoodie right here. We love it. Grab one today for the holiday season for you, your family, your friends. Who cares? Get one! Go to badfriendsmerch.com, badfriendsmerch.com. You two are bad friends! Who are these two idiots? Why, dude? I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends. Why are you making fun of Fanny Packs? You know, you know, Yushinobu Yamamoto of the Dodgers is big into bags. Do you know about this? Yeah. Look at his bag collection. This is the new thing. Asian men with bags is a huge thing. And that's why I'm into it. Because I'm an Asian man. I like bags. Look at the bag I got. Let me see your bag. Okay, so I come in here and Andreas, our producer. Andreas. Andreas. Andreas. Right. I call him Andreas when he's acting like that. Taking back a peg. Yeah. He picks up my bag and he starts prancing around the podcast room. Like, look at me. You know what I mean? I gay. You know what I mean? And I went and I listened as a man, as an Asian man. I love bags. You do love bags. Yeah. Could you carry a purse, do you think? That's not a joke. No. Many men are carrying purses. This is a purse. No, that's a Fanny Pack. But I have everything and you want to see what's in it? Let's see. Open up your purse. Okay. So we got notes. A joke note. A joke note. My phone. Okay. Yeah, you need that. And then check it out. Cologne. Gotta have it. Gotta have it. Gotta smell good. Right. And then what's, I have side pockets too. Hold on. What's in this side pocket here? That's like my wife's. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Neutrogena, acne patches. Acne patches are useful. Yeah, very useful. We need all this stuff. And that's pretty much all that's in it. All an air pod. Yeah. A lighter. Yeah. And a listerine thing for my breath. All this stuff adds up. Yeah. But now you're a simple man. You're gonna stick that shit in your pocket? No way. Actors are, what is that? Across Asia, why are more men carrying women's handbags? Exactly. I'm telling you, it's becoming a new thing. Look at these are both men with very nice handbags. Yeah. They don't want to have sex anymore. I think it's a new thing. Yeah. And by the way, that's not true because their birth rate is through the roof, these guys. They can't stop. They can't stop. Maybe this will slow it down. Yeah, yeah. This is a population stopper. Yeah. Now, that's too far. Why? When there's a thing where you actually carry it with your hand, I don't think I could go to that level. You're saying it's okay if it goes straps your butt. It's a strap because I don't do this around my waist. I do this thing where it's like, you know what I mean? Like nonchalant is straight. Like nonchalant around the shoulder. So it's almost like a back, it's like a side backpack. It's like a side bag. Yeah. And then sometimes I'm at the airport and I have my backpack, right? Clip the backpack and I put this in the front like this. Oh, a front pack. Like a front pack. So I have a backpack and a front pack, right? And I don't know why you're laughing so hysterically right now, my friend, because you're about to get it. I mean, it does look, it looks comfortable. It looks nice. Yeah, yeah. It's a fashion item as well. It's a fashion item. It's a fact. It's one more piece. It's a piece. Yeah. And it's iron heart, which they do great jeans. Look at this, fine African American man, Black man. You're so afraid to say black guy for a second. Yeah. Look at this fine man. There's Lebron. Lebron with a bag. Always at the Louis. But that's a, but that's a duffel bag. That's a different thing. Duffels are their own category. That's a purse. Yeah. Well, to tell me the difference between a duffel bag and a purse then. Okay, look, a duffel bag is a male except, look at that. I know. Do you even know who that is? Tyler the craters. Sure. Here's the my logic. A duffel bag is a man's bag that's, that is little purse-leaning. A fanny pack is, can be a man's bag that is a little fem-leaning. And then if you have a purse, there's a straight up purse, Harry Styles with a purse. Yeah. And that's a little, that's very fem. That's very, you're in the middle. You're bi. Yeah. A fanny pack is bi. Okay. It's bi. You're bi. Okay. I'm bi. We know. Fashion wise. Well, I'm fashion bi. There's a transference of life. Yeah. Your bags are your life. Yeah. Fashion is life. Is it not? I'm not bisexual. All right. But anyway, who's this? Jacob Alardi. Jacob Alardi. Oh my God. Look at that. Well, look at, look at, look at, and now let me say that you pick up that yellow bag that J, J, J. Balars and do you do in front of him? You'll rip you. J. J. He'll stretch you out. J. J. Gabilar. That's so gay to say that. Rip and stretch you out. I'm talking about his butthole. Yeah. He will rip, stretch. Your butthole will look like the Joker's mouth in like two stitches, the whole thing, dude. All right. Watch your fucking face. I apologize. All right. Look up Yoshinobi Yamamoto's bag collection. This guy, for the Dodgers, he's got one of the most iconic bag people, people, uh, here we go. Shopping again. Post about him all the time. Yeah. Go to all. Go to all. All the way to all. We're just on images, not even shopping. There you go. Just do his bag collection. There's got to be a video about it. What about his bag? Let's go through some of them. And now this guy doing the announcements, he's not gay. Yeah. In turquoise, retailing at $11,600 made from calf leather with cow hide trim. His teammate Kike also has one. Aw twins. Then we have the Chanel 22. This is a bad, that's a purse. 200 in a shiny calf skin. I tried this on in a burgundy. Major regret not getting it. This is very chic on him. The Chanel doesn't stop there. He's also a leather of a- You're also very chic. Yeah. I want him to do what? Why am I- He's again. And Bobby Lee and Bobby Lee has an iron heart. It says engineers on it. It's very, leather, right? Shake. It's shake. And it really goes with his torso. It does. Yeah. It's almost this is like, it's an attachment to his own body, like a limb. That's right. Yeah. It's interesting because you've lost weight now, so you're putting on more things. Yeah. You know, you need more stuff on you. Also, I have, I still have fat eyes. No, you don't. No, when I'm- Some would argue you have- What? A fat dick. Very skinny eyes. Very thin. Very thin. Yeah. I don't, I don't meet it in that sense. I don't either. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's good. I'm sorry. You have skinny eyes. You have skinny eyes. Yeah. Very skinny eyes. Yeah. I would say I have medium eyes. Medium eyes. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I still see a fat guy. See, that, will that ever go away? Do you think? I don't know. But I, I like, I'll do bends and see where the fat is and go, I gotta lose that. You know what I mean? See, this is the problem that they say. You keep, you continually move the goalposts. Yeah. You've lost a lot of weight. Yeah. Now you still want to lose more. When does it end? Until I look like Karen Carpenter. Yeah, yeah. Body dysmorphia. That's what we- Body dysmorphia. That's what it is. It's a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about their flaws and their appearances. Yeah. But you don't have many flaws. I have a flat ass. No, I think you have- And have tiny little bumps in it too. I don't know why. Those are the dimples in your tush. You have a little dimple. Do you have dimples? I have dimples. Yeah, yeah. And they're my favorite. When you, you're, on yours, you're my, that's my favorite place to bite. Okay. Bumps on your butt can be caused by acne, inflammation, myrophilicals. That's not it. No, I think it's just, it's just age. I think it's age. It's just life. Yeah. You're not going to have a perfect round butt the rest of your life. That's impossible. I mean, Carlos does have a perfectly round butt. He has a nice butt, yeah. But that's just genetics. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Well, no, because fancy doesn't have a nice butt. No. We've never seen it. See it. Let's see it. Well, just Google a pork's butt. He's back at it with his, did you hear you well? Yeah. Oh, there's a little porgy right there. That's the pork butt. Yeah. Is there a Harry Potter today? Did you watch the movies or what's going on here? I played a video game last night. Okay. Okay. Very good. Good callback. Good callback for something that people don't even know what you're talking about. Yeah. You, no, but you do, you are, you have layers on today. This is, this is going to be the future of bad weather coming in. The kids got the sweater with the sweater and the collared shirt. Double sweater collared shirt. It is cute. It is cute though. Oh, it's, oh, it makes it looks like it's two. Yeah. Wow. Wait, wait. It's one sweater that has like a stitching. No, be real. Stick your hand between. Oh my god. You know what this like this clip on tie. Yeah. It's a clip on tie. Yeah. Oh my god. This is like they made those jackets which had hoodies stitched inside of them. You've seen that and they're not real hoodies. This is the same thing. Yeah. I couldn't like, where do you get that? Desi. Wow. Desi. Wow. That visual too. Oh, they have that. Dead stock though. They don't make this anymore. This guy, it's worth money now at this point. Yeah. Yeah. He'll have the largest collection of Desi. Wow. Yeah. And all that has the symbol on it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. The symbol I don't, if it was just nothing, that'd be cool. Okay, good. Yeah. And do you always wear those glasses or are they new? He's been wearing those since we know. Okay. I think with that outfit, it's very Harry Potter. Are those new glasses though? A new design? Yes. They're like fairly new, like seven, eight months. Oh wow. The whole year you've had those? Yeah. Wow. Have you just noticed them now? They look different today. They look different today. You know what it is though. He's got a little pep in his step. I'm guessing. He does this with his hair too. Yes. What's going on there? It's a crunch. It's like, it's new. He's trying to be young. Yeah. Right. You know, oh, he just waved his head. He just waved it. You know what happened with him? I wish Turkey didn't exist. Why? Because that's where he got his hair done. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's cheating. You're cheating. I'm guessing your wife. I'm guessing your wife and you had a little fun today. That's why you're in a good mood. Am I right? You are right. See, I knew it. I could tell. That's what it is. Yeah. Wow. When his balls are full, he's more annoyed. Yeah. Now he feels light and airy because he's emptied. Exactly. Yeah. That's time of the year, you know. Yeah. How long does it last? A minute too? Well, how long is it? Him? Yeah. Yeah. What do you think? I think she just makes, I think she makes him pleasure her and he doesn't, he has to go in the bathroom when it's over and she doesn't want to see that. Yeah. She did it once. They had a kid. It's over. She's done. They don't want to do that anymore. It must be fun for you, huh? Yeah. Very good. Don't that wink is so creepy. I got a girl. I had a girl after the show ask me for your number. And would you tell me one through 10, what is it? One through 10, what is it? I mean, her looks. Her look? Yeah. To you. You have different parameters and... I think in the social world, she'd be a seven or an eight. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't give her your number. Why? Well, that'd be inappropriate. Just giving out your number. Do you get her Instagram account? No. She goes... That's not helping. She said, can I please have Bobby's number? I said, just DM him. I can't give you his number. That's not appropriate. You want me to give out your number to people? I'm not doing that. But use your own judgment is what I'm saying. This woman, I met for five tenths of a second. How can I judge her? She said, I'm such a big fan of you guys. Is there any way you can give me Bobby's number? One to 10. That's how you judge it. Seven. So I gave her... What is that? I gave her two thirds of your number. She has to guess the rest. Because McCone set me up. She's real. We've been talking. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Who's this girl? Some random person slid into my DMs and was like, I want to get in contact with Bobby. Yeah. And I screenshotted it and I just texted her. Is she good looking? Yeah. And you guys have been chatting? Yeah. Text or DM? DM. So it's not ready yet. But she wants to FaceTime. That's so strange. Why? Why does she need to FaceTime? I need to FaceTime. Oh, you? That's your thing. Yeah, because it's like she lives in Canada. Oh, this is another one of these things. What? This is never going to come to fruition. Yeah, well... You really going to fly her down? Well, you know, I... How far? Remember, I dated that girl from Spokane. That happened. Yeah, but that's because you met her in Spokane and then it continued. You'd never met this human being. Oh, but I did that a couple of times in New York. I mean... And one time it was a disaster. One time didn't work out so well. Yeah, we remember how that went. Yeah. There was two from New York. One was a disaster. Yeah. One was a absolute nightmare. Can we say that? I don't know. She was hammered at 10 in the morning. Yeah. She was alcoholism. Hammered? Yeah. 10 AM. But do you remember that? You guys want me to get you coffee? She was drooling at breakfast. I know, but do you remember when... That was the first... After my breakup with Kalayla, that was the first... That was the first girl. Yeah, so I didn't know any different. Well, you knew now. I know now. I would never... How far in Canada is this Canadian girl? Vancouver. Oh, that's not far. That's not bad. That's not far. No, Western Canada, I think you can do. You can do Western Canada. Yeah, but once you get east of Alberta, it gets... You're not going over there. Yeah. You're not doing Winnipeg. Yeah. It's just fun getting to know somebody. What is the most engaging part for you? What do you mean? What are you interested the most in this part of the dating thing, of this little nook of time? Okay, well... Is it the banter? No, no, no. Here's what. I look for the negatives. Okay. Body dysmorphia again. No, it's not body dysmorphia. Only looking for the negatives. No, like, you know what I mean? Does she have a drinking problem? Right. Because, you know what I mean? We had that problem before. We did. Right? So you go, okay, you can kind of sense. How much do you party? Oh, do you party? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what if they say, I party sometime... Okay, you be the girl. I'll ask. Okay. All right. Are we on FaceTime right now? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Hey. Hold on. I can't... Do you see me? I see you. There's always that. Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? No, you're like cutting it in and out. Oh, I... Yeah. Not... But... No. I see you now. Hey. Hi. Hi. Hi. Sorry. Oh, my God. You're so much cuter than I thought you were. Yeah, you too. Wow. Yeah. What's up? Yeah. What's... I mean, what's going on? This is it? The Game Master again. What? What? The Game Master. Yeah. The Game Master. No. It's on design. Uh-huh. It's by design. It's by design, I mean. That's right. It's by design, right? Make it awkward. Hey, is that... Are you in your place? Is that your place behind you? Yeah. There's cat poop on the couch. Yeah. That's cool. I have cats. Is that a design thing? Yeah, it's a design thing. It's all by design. So, what do you want to know about me, Bobby? Yeah. So, you do a lot of yoga, huh? Five to six days a week. Oh, that's great. Well, I'm a yoga teacher. So that... I'll do... You know, I'll be honest with you. I had an instructor during COVID, named Kara from Hawaii, and I did a lot of yoga. And I just felt like that was the best time I've ever felt in my life. I don't know if I care about other girls, hearing about other girls. No, she was... My yoga instructor happened to be a woman. Sure. But I don't... It's about me right now, not Kara. It's about Kara. It's sensitive, huh? A little bit. Yeah. My last boyfriend was... My last boyfriend cheated on me with a yoga instructor. Yeah. So, I became a yoga instructor. Oh, is that why? Yeah, I was a kindergarten teacher before this. That's weird. It's a little strange. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, you're a little strange. Yeah. You know, it's like, you know, my ex-girlfriend was a hit man, you know, and cheated me with a hit man. Now I'm a hit man. You know, it doesn't make any... Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Bye. I mean, you took it there. Already it's weird. I feel like that's a real conversation that would happen. I don't think that she would say like, I don't want to talk about your female yoga instructor. That's fucking weird. Maybe she doesn't want to. All right, let's... She might be insecure. You're wrong. And see, you have to... We're wine. Yeah, my male yoga instructor. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. So, you love yoga? Do you still do it? No, I haven't done it yet. While I'm just so busy. Maybe if we hang out, we can do yoga together. I would love to. I'd like to start back up again. Let's do it. You can teach me? Yeah. Oh, that'd be fun. Yeah. In fact, I could even, you know, pay you a little something to classes online. I don't want money. I just, I want your company. Wow, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. And what else do you do? I don't know. Like, I like yoga. I like getting machalates in the morning. You look at the machalate. I love them. Oh, who doesn't love a machalate? I love them. I like taking long walks. I have seven dogs. Seven dogs. Well, they're not mine. I'm a dog. I walk people's dogs. Oh, that's cool. So, it's just like a side hustle. Yeah. It's a little side job. Yeah. Yeah. I have a bunch of side jobs. I have like four dogs. Oh, you do? Yeah. I'd love to walk your dogs. It's impossible. They're in my freezer. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. They're frozen solid. Is that lunch? No. Oh. Burial. Oh, you, okay. When it's my time. Cool. Yeah. You like to party? What? You like to party? I'm sober. Who are you looking at in your house? You keep looking over there in your house. Is there someone there? No, I'll be honest with you, sweetheart. Can I buy you a sweetheart? Please. Yeah. My dad used to call me sweetheart. Well, that's weird because my dad's ghost is next to me. Really? That's what I'm looking at. Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to? Yeah, that's him. Who is that? It's my dad. Tell him I said hi. Anyway. Anyway. Bye. No. No, don't go. What was your last relationship? I was married. I was married for two and a half years. Wow, what happened? We got a divorce. That was my third marriage. You've been married three times, huh? Yeah. Kids? Yeah. Oh, how many? I have four with my first husband, two with my second husband, and I'm pregnant right now. Yeah, I got. I'm out. You don't want to be a dad with me? Seven kids? Yeah, three different. No, there's no way, no. But they're all involved. Okay, who's involved? The kids are involved with what? No, no, the dads are all involved in their lives. They're all wonderful men. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to meet them. They're all NBA players. Yeah, I have, you know, could we honest with you? Yeah. I had a girl that hit me up, you know, recently. Are we talking as us now? Are we out of the bit? No, I'm telling the girl. I'm telling the girl. Yeah. Who, you know what I mean? All her boyfriends were like NBA players, and I couldn't do it. Why? Because it's like, you know, I don't know if it shrinks back, you know? Oh, it does. But I'm still interested in you. I don't know about... Bobby, you know how sometimes... Yeah, I don't know if it shrinks back, you know? You know, sometimes you only want half a sandwich? Yeah. That's the kind of stage I'm at right now. And you want some soup too? Half a soup? I would love it. I would love to have soup and have sandwich. Yeah. That's... You like creamy soup? I love creamy soup. Okay, all right. With clams in it? Yeah, I got clams in mine. That is funny. That's when a girl goes from NBA players back to regular guys. That is the order. Hey, how you doing? Hey, hey, hey, Tony, how you doing? I'm pretty good around here. Okay, good. I got some Domino's pizza. Well, you got one of those specialty pizzas. I got a specialty pizza. Mama la Lutte, Macona. This is Italian sausage, Johnny. Pepperoni, little bit of ham. Yeah. Little bit of ham on this. This is the Mizza. Yeah. Italian sausage, pepperoni, ham, all beef sandwich. We need two layers of provolone cheese made. 100% mozzarella. Oh, you know what I got? What do you got? Frank. Extrava Gamza, my friend. Tony, Tony. Lone. Check this out, super loaded. What do they got on that? I'll tell you what they got, man. Pepperoni, ham, Italian sausage, beef, fresh onions, fresh green peppers, fresh mushrooms, black olives, all sandwiched between two layers of provolone, and cheese made up with 100% real mozzarella. Mama mia. And I'll tell you this, the guys love it too. Carlos, which is your favorite? What's your favorite Domino's pizza that we've had in the studio? The specialty one? Yeah. Spinach and feta. Spinach and feta. See, he's always looking out for his weight. He wants to have a thin little waist. Spinach and feta, a little healthier. I like the spicy chicken and bacon ranch. Load it up, give it to me. Okay? Hey, bro, welcome to Hawaii, dude. Honolulu. Wakaliki, Wakaliki. Makaliki, Wakaliki. Honolulu, Hawaiian, bro. The Honolulu Hawaiian pizza. Delicious. You're a big fan of pineapple on pizza. Never ending debate. But Bobby Lee loves Hawaiian pizza. Especially the Honolulu Hawaiian pizza. Like, I also like did Pacific Veggie, dude. Yeah, when you're on a standover, healthier than Domino's by the beach. When I'm sitting by the beach and I'm listening to Sublime and I want myself a pizza, I'm gonna get myself a Pacific Veggie, dude. That's right, dude. Anyway, dude, check out Domino's new specialty pizzas. Domino's specialty pizzas are delicious, unique, and fun. And they got all sorts of new stuff. Like we said, the people's pizza, the deluxe spicy chicken bacon ranch, the ultimate pepperoni, Memphis barbecue chicken. They got it all. Plus Wisconsin, shout out to my old neighbors of the North with six cheese. Wisconsin. I didn't even know there was six cheese. Me neither. Dude, I can only name four of them. But Domino's has got them. So you gotta try them out today. Order yourself some Domino's. Kachaba. Guys, this is my new flavor flavor from Kachaba. Let me, as you guys know, right, I'm a huge fan of this brand. Big time. I think that all of their flavors taste like what they're advertising. I think all the nutrients, you know what I mean? I feel so much better when I drink it, right? And this new flavor that I have is called chocolate mint. And I love it so much. All right. Tell them about Kachaba. Kachaba has 25 grams of 100% plant-based protein, including six indulgent flavors of chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, assay, strawberry, and of course that chocolate mint that is so very good. It's all the good stuff your mind and body need. I feel so much lighter, clearer, and healthier thanks to Kachaba. It's a whole body meal with plant-based protein that actually tastes delicious. 25 grams of 100% plant-based proteins, six indulgent flavors, chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, assay, and strawberry. There's no artificial flavors in there, no artificial coloring, no sweeteners, non-GMO, no soy, no animal products, no gluten, and no preservatives. If you are looking to feel good and eat good, your future self will thank you. Go to kachaba.com and use the code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your next order. That's Kachaba. K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com. Code BADFRIEND for 50% off. I was scared coming in today. Me too, man. No, no, no, flying in today. Me too, man. It was the rain. I got scared. It was bad raining, dude. It was crazy raining, and it was raining in clouds. I was leaving Phoenix for this storm that just passed and then coming into here, and I was like, I hate it. I hate little baby planes in the sky. Did you take a private plane? No, no, no, no, no. It was what do you call it, regional jet, you know where it's not a lot of seats, and I was like... Buddy Holly style. Yeah, I got a little nervous about it. I hate that. I don't mind if... La la la la la la. Remember Richie Valens? Richie Valens. Yeah, Richie Valens. I do. And the Big Bopper. The Big Bopper. Yeah. I don't know much about him, do you? I don't know anything about the Big Bopper, other than the name is fun. Yeah, but I know about Richie and... You know about Richie Valens? Yeah. What do you know about him? I'm wondering. I saw the movie, La Bamba. What? What do you remember about him? I remember he had a brother who was a cartoonist. You remember? Yeah. Yeah. Donna was the white girl in high school that he was in love with, right? And there was like... They couldn't get together because of racial discriminations from her family. Isn't that sad that the family would do that to you? Even he's a fucking rock star. Rock star. And they're like, no, no way. We gotta bring that back. What? Racial discrimination. But that's still kind of out there. Parents that don't let you date the other race, I'm sure. No, I mean, you'll go to like, Dantanas, right? And you'll just be at the bar eating a spaghetti. And then you'll turn to a couple of Hollywood socialites. They're always there. They're always there. Right? At that place, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And you go, hey, what are you eating? And they're like... They don't know you. What do you mean? I'm fucking you, man. No, if they knew you. I'll tell you something. If they knew you. No, I'm a human being, dude. Just acknowledge my presence. They don't need to. You're at the bar, Dantanas. That's socialite express. If you didn't want that, go sit at a table by yourself. Okay. So you're begging for the attention. You want it. That's why you went up to... No, there was no seats the one time that I went there. All we have is the bar. So I'm eating the spaghetti and go, hey, what you eating? And they just completely ignore you. Didn't want to engage. That's, I think, you know what I mean? Either, I don't know what to... To me, I always... You think it's your opinion? Perceive it as racism. That's not racism. You're a guy, they're a girl, they don't want to talk to you. You don't think that's racism? A little bit? Not at Dantanas. They know you got money. So if I was James... If I look like James Franco, you think they'd still do it? Well, he's better looking. All right. It's based on the look. It's not race, it's look. By the way, if you were Michael B. Jordan, they'd be talking to you and he's black. Okay. These are white girls. Benedict Wong. They would ignore him. All right, let me throw the names out. You throw a name. I'll tell you if the two white girls would talk to him. Okay. Esai Morales. Absolutely, yes, they talk. They would talk to Esai Morales. 100%. Even though he's Hispanic. Yeah, he's handsome. Okay. When he was alive, Philip Seymour Hoffman. Did they know who he is or no? No. They don't know. They won't talk to him. Wow. Yeah. They don't know who Jack Black is. Jack Black, they'll talk to him. They know him. But if they didn't... They do. Everybody does. I know. He's too famous. Yeah, that's a tough one. How about Jeffrey Jones? Yeah, probably. You know who that is? Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. From Ferris Bueller? Yeah, from Ferris Bueller. Jeffrey Jones. The principal. The principal. The principal. Is he still in prison? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. Yeah. He's at the antennas. He's out. He's at the antennas right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's probably working at the antennas. Yeah. What did you do this weekend? Oh boy. Did you have a busy weekend? Oh boy, yeah. I'm doing a lot of special prep. With Louis. Is he in town? Yeah, a lot of special prep. Our buddy Louis Katz, who's one of the funniest. We're going to sing a song. Are you writing the song? Yeah, we're writing the song. Is it The Closer? Yeah, and then there's a whole another thing. I don't know if I... I'll give it away, but... Well, you don't have to. Yeah, there's going to be a little thing with my dad. How'd you get him? Yeah. Did you book him? No, I'm going to play him. Really? Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. This is going to be great. It's going to be a three-dimensional face of me. Really? Yeah, that's like a hologram on stage. And there's a conversation between him and I. Really? Yeah, yeah. Did you write the conversation already? Yeah, it's done. Oh, I want to see it. And we tried it on stage in San Francisco. How was that? We had audio, so he had a button. So it's... You know what I mean? We pretended like he was there. And then I, you know, and we did it back. But then he got laughs. It was good. Yeah. Did you cry? There's a crying thing in... Like a little moment in there. Wow. But yeah, I mean, all that. But it's... There's... I don't know if you felt this, but I've never felt this much anxiety in my life. Like even like technical things like, we got a DP. It's like, I don't care. Well, that's why you hired people to take care of me. Yeah, yes. But they tell me about it. You know what I mean? Set design, this and that, you know what I mean? And it's like, it causes me so much anxiety. I don't even know what... I don't know why. Yeah. You felt that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's nerve wracking. It's nerve wracking. It sucks. But I mean, you trust people around you. You hire... What you do, you hire good people who are talented that you trust, which we haven't done on this show, but we will get to it at some point. Yeah. Hiring talented people. But then you treat... They just do all the stuff that you... They have your vision in mind and you let them complete it. Yeah. And I think I picked the right director because he... This is his shot. Right. That's great. And he's... So now he's so like locked. Locked in and just... On it. That's cool. Yeah. I mean, and he wants it to be so good. So he's very strict with me. That's good. Yeah. That's what you want. Like how come you didn't do that job tonight? I guess I'm not really flushed out yet. You have to do it. So he makes me do it. Yeah. You got it. See, this is... I'm so glad that he's doing that. Yeah. Yeah. What a good journey. Yeah. It's a good journey. So you worked on it all weekend. Yeah. It's a bit... That and just a lot of video gaming. A lot of video gaming. Yeah. Too much. Because when I'm in anxiety, you know, because I'm not masturbating anymore to porn. So that's... There goes that. Are you masturbating in general? No. To nothing? Now why is that? I only alleviate myself in front of women. She only enjoy... You only... And that's rare. So it's like... I don't know if it alleviates the word. Yeah. Release. Or in front of... Release. Rephrase this. I would say anytime you're... It's only... Ejaculating. It's only for sexual relations with someone. What's so funny? Release. Yeah, release. Yeah, yeah. Like they're prisoners or something. No, yeah. Like I... Release the hostages. From the gulag. Release the prisoners from the gulag. Let them out. That's the way I say it. They gotta get out. Well, if you look at my sperm, they're wearing helmets and little swords. I mean, they're not... They're fighters. Yeah, yeah, they're fighters. They're survivors. I'm hearing real. Look at mine. Some of them are sleeping. Well, bring some in. Yeah. So I'm thinking that one of the warriors will get in when I have a baby one day. Yeah, yeah. So that's my gut bet. You'll make a warrior. I think I have warrior blood in my... In my... Do you? Indiana, yeah. Is there a history of a warrior with the last name Lee by any chance? Because my great, great, great grandfather was the royal commander of the Korean army or whatever. Wow. Asian Lee. Yeah. Bruce Lee. Yeah. Henry Light Horse Harry Lee. Yeah, dude. You don't know Light Horse? Yeah, I know Light Horse. Yeah, yeah. I know Heavy Horse a little bit better. But do Asian Lee. Bruce Lee outside. Okay, zoom in. There's a very famous Asian warrior with the last name Kurt Chu and Lee. The very first Asian commissioned officer in the US Marine Corps, no one was a hero in the Korean War. Wow. So that's your... Well, no, go back in the beginning, all right. So his name is Kurt Chu. That's a sneeze. Kurt Chu. Kurt Chu and Lee, right? Yeah. But you know that Kurt was his English name. Yeah, Chu. He probably chose it too. But they were like, hey, Chu, get back in line, right? Guarn me, court. Maybe he liked Kurt Cobain. Maybe. And that's why. Yeah. Chu. That's a good one. Is he still alive? Hit that Wikipedia. He's not. He died in 2014. Oh, God bless you. Oh, God bless you, Kurt Chu. Thank you for your service. Look at how many medals. Oh my God, look at him. Look at all the medals. Decorated. Yeah. What are you laughing at, dude? I'm not laughing at him. You know what I always found strange about the medals is just because this is like my OCD. Yeah. They're always on one side. I think they should be balanced. Why wouldn't it be symmetrical? Yeah. Right? Wouldn't you have layers of medals on both sides? That to me... But imagine if they could just place them wherever they wanted. That would drive me crazy. Oh, no, I think that would look cool. One here, one here, one here, one here, three in the back. I mean, it would drive me crazy. Looks like a NASCAR car. Yeah, yeah. I like it that it's clumped together on one side. We're pretty close, by the way, for our military being sponsored by businesses, to where they're wearing jerseys with their names on them. Oh, right, right. Like the military, like the Marine Corps sponsored by like Tide Pods or something like that. Or Chick-fil-A. Yeah, that's coming. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like Nashville's hot chicken. Can you zoom in at the medals, please? It would be interesting over who got sponsored. There he is. Yeah, so what do you know what these medals mean? You know I don't know what those mean. Oh, do you... Anyone in the room knows what they mean? Honor, valor. I think it's for... I'm not even gonna guess. I think like service during certain either times of battle or what is it? Find a guy who has the most medals. I don't see how deep it goes. His neck is just hanging so heavy on his chest. Who in the military has had the most medals? The most awarded veteran. The most decorated veteran. On the jacket though. Wait, time out before you do this. Stop. You wanna guess? I think it's Audie Murphy. I think Audie Murphy was the most decorated war veteran in American history. And that might be wrong. Audie Murphy. Wow. Wow. That's pretty fucking awesome. Can we see his... Whoa. He was the most decorated war veteran. Isn't that amazing? Oh, he got the draggy kind. Like the... Like the jewel. He should have a man bag with him. Yeah, yeah. Put all those medals in. But go to that photo right below the colored one, the third row to the very far right. Jesus. No, not that one. The far right when he's old. That's not him. That's another guy, dude. But I wanna see that guy anyway. But click on... That's Audie Murphy. Yeah, I don't like it when they're like... Bedazzled like that. I like the little cubes. No, see, I think this is cool. Like the chiclet kind. This is little real medals. You like that. I like this. Yeah. Audie Murphy, I knew he was the most decorated war veteran in American history. The only reason I know that is because I've seen his house. How? He used to live in this neighborhood. This neighborhood right here? In this neighborhood. No. Yeah, how else would I know that weird fact? He used to have a plaque outside his house that said, this was the home of Audie Murphy commissioned as a... And historic site, the most decorated war veteran veteran in American history. The house is no longer there. They ripped it down. But they kept this brick thing out front that says the most decorated war veteran in America. Wow. What year did he die? 71. Oh my, when I was born. But he lived here in this neighborhood, is that right? That's incredible. So I was at the antennas last night and I was talking to this guy who's been there. This old man was sitting there. And he was like, A kid, look at comedy. I go, whoa, what's your name? I was Robert. I've been coming here since the 60s. And I go, what happened here? You can get whites downs. You know what I mean? The blue pill, right at this bar. You can get anything you want at this bar. Not anymore? No, anymore. You just get spaghetti and pollinates. That's all you can get. You know what I mean? But like pounded chicken or whatever. But you know what I mean? Yeah. Back in the, you walk down the street, man. Oh my God. You can get laid just by walking out. He's still living in the old times in his mind. Yeah. Back when Santa Monica, he could hustle. Was he gay? No, no, no. Does this sound gay, dude? No, no, this is Steve McQueen, man. I mean, that's the gayest part of West Hollywood. It is in West Hollywood. Listen to my voice. Oh, I hear it now. Yeah. And what did you chat with? And he had, you know how they have this? Yeah, one bad eye. Yeah, but they're just, you know what I mean? A kid, you know? They always go, you kid. Well, because you are. To him. To him. Yeah. A kid, oh. Back in my day. Everyone sat here. I mean, like who's everyone? You name him. Yeah. Greta Garbo. No, like Flip Wilson. Oh, Flip Wilson. 60s. Yeah, yeah. Flip Wilson. You know what I mean? And then they had guys that you didn't even know, but they were local legend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He used to come here all the time. Do not devry. Do not devry. You know, when he started to dry college. Yeah. You know, you know, the tennis shoes, where you put the loops in, the metal, the metal hole. That's him. Yeah, he put the metals in that, you know what I mean? And you're like, oh, I don't give a fuck. Did you ask what that man did for a living? Like who was he? Was he a musician? What I do, I buy property for people. Commercial real estate. So you buy it. But I don't do risks. I don't do high risks. What does that mean? You use someone else's money? You broker the. You buy broker the deals. You broker the. This is what he told me last night. I go, at 80 you do that. Still do it, kid. He wasn't smoking, but he. It's insane. He's hitting it. But he wanted to. Breathing machine. Yeah. Yeah. And then a bunch of young, like 30 year old, you know, man fur coats. Robert. They knew him. Yeah. And they all like hogged him. And I did a weird laugh. Why? I don't know why. I got so nervous. I'm comfortable. I was like, girls. Yeah. I did a weird laugh and he goes, see you later, kid. You know what I mean? He had a girl on each arm. Yeah. And he walks out of this thing and I go, can I have a spaghetti bolognese? You have a white's reds or blues? We just. You don't have that anymore? You don't have that anymore? Chicken. Yeah. Just pound a chicken? Just pound a chicken. All right. Yeah. But that was, yeah. I love Dantana's though. I don't ever eat there. Why? It's so cool in there. It's cool. But the food is not good. It's okay. For late night, it's okay. It's fine. This is so Hollywood. The reason why is when I first moved to LA, I went to Dantana's and I couldn't even afford it, but I spent hundreds of dollars there. Yeah. Because I just heard it was a legendary place. And I remember seeing Leo and all those guys there. Yeah, right. That was like their hands. And I never saw them again there. And now you can go. But now you're Leo to someone else. It's funny because I remember when I first in the 90s, late 90s, I went to Dantana's. I wouldn't even be like, get in. I was like, hey, you can't get in. But now like they kiss me on the cheeks and stuff. Who does? The host. The host kisses you on the cheeks? Yeah. Hey, Bobby, welcome back. Me, Kenneth, thanks for coming on the cheeks. Did you bring that bag with you? Dude, you're going to make me mad about that. Don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Kenneth kisses you on the cheeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Good stuff online. Guy? You know what I mean? He loves your online stuff. Yeah, yeah. And then I'll have an old lady goes, young man, you do podcasts. And I go, I do. If I've seen it, it's probably good. Wow. That's what she said. Right. But it's got this old-timey, Hollywood-y, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's old school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is very old school. And it's- You know what's the while you're going, you know? I don't want to go. We should go together. I don't want to. Why? I don't like it. You love places like that. I do, but the food's got to be good. Dude, dude. The food's got to be good. That guy? The Taylor Swift guy? It goes, dude. What does that have to do with it? That's the photo. Yeah, we wouldn't be caught that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Dan Tana's look. That's what they all look like. Robert, a kid, this is- Come on, guy. You love those places. I like good food. You could- I know. But it's okay. It's not good. All right. It's pretty basic spaghetti. For Italian restaurants in LA? Yeah. That place is for the hang. Yeah, but it's so close to the comedy store. It is pretty close. Right. And then, you know, it's a two-minute drive. I'll go to Night Market before I go there, though. Okay. Better food. I don't even know what Night Market is. Oh, right up the street. Literally up the street from where you're talking. It's open late? Yeah. Yeah, no one's ever brought me there to the Night Market. What? Yeah, yeah. You've never had Night Market? No. Oh, come on, dude. It's right on sunset. It's literally up the street from what you're talking. And what time do they close? Midnight or one? No. Close at- oh, it's Sunday. What time does it close now? 10 o'clock on Sunday. Okay. But on a weekend, they close late? Yeah. Okay. I didn't know. Oh, you got- Well, take me there. I'll take you there. Because when you finish your shows, you never take me nowhere. I ask you all the time to go get food, but then you want- You go, no, no, I'm going alone. You do that all the time. Yeah, because where I want to go, you're not going to drive that far. How far? One time you came to the Koreatown. I love Koreatown. A month ago. Yeah, that's fine. We went to Agassi Gopchang. Agassi. Remember you were there with- Who were you with? Your friend. Who? You know what's so fucked up in my brain? I just- I like- I can't believe I just drew a blank when you're telling that story, who I brought. I do the same thing now. You're getting old. Yeah. Am I old? When you're 42? If I'm 42. Yeah. What is that? Memory changes around 40. Yeah. Yeah. Ah, that sucks. I'm 54, dude. Yeah, but you have a better memory. I couldn't remember the girl that was dating last week. Haha. Blue chew, daddy old, daddy system, breaking down, daddy needs some help around, that's what I use. Blue chew, let me tell you something right now, right? 54 years old, right? 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That's promo code BADFRIENDS. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information and we thank blue chew for sponsoring the podcast. I feel like my brain is going cuckoo shit. You know what it also is? Yeah. The last couple of days, I haven't been able to get any fucking sleep and I laid in bed, got horizontal last night, I put on my little heating pad. I got a little heating pad now. I'm getting old. Yeah. I put on my little electronic heating pad near my tushy and then I got on my phone and started reading and I thought, I'm going to be able to read and go to sleep. No, couldn't go to sleep. How many hours? How many, when was I up till? How many hours did you get last night? Three. Wow. It's so funny. I couldn't sleep. I got three too. Maybe you and I are on the same, we're on our same cycle. How the girls sink up, you and I are sleeping. Yeah, I got three too last night. I just couldn't get to sleep. You know what's the worst is when you're so tired and you need to go to sleep. I was exhausted. I took Trazodon, which is my dog tranquilizer. No, it's like a non-addictive. Just say yes when I say that. I can't even yes a hand right now. I know. My wife just went to the doctor by the way and they offered her paint. He was like, oh, and also do you need pain medication? She was like, no. And I was like, you say yes. You always say yes. Yeah. It's good to have. For you. For me. Yeah. For the house. Yeah. For the house. It's like when you get pancakes for the table. Yeah. For the house. Yeah. Get drugs for the house. Just so when someone comes over, we got a little something to have. Yeah. When I'm at the grocery store, what do I pick up every fucking time? Rice. I don't eat rice, but I have two Asians living in the house. You need it. You get the rice. Get the rice. Spam, whatever they need. You need to get the rice. Yeah. You know what I mean? Nuts. You know what I mean? They love nuts. Yeah. Well, Filipinos, they love the nuts. Well, they got a lot of nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you get it, even though you're not kind of, you put to be mindful about other people. That's right. Exactly. Pay attention, Macon. Pay attention. Pay attention. You have to be mindful about other people. Yeah. I do that a lot. You do. You're very generous. Yeah. What did you guys do this weekend? What did you do this weekend, Carlos? Went to the ice house last night. Jaime had a show. Jaime had a show at the ice house and you went to support. Yeah. He doesn't come to support us. You noticed that, Bob? He does. He does. You knew who came to support me last night. You come to support Bob? You go to Bob shows? At the comedy store. I've been there so many times. So many times. Yeah. Never for me. You knew who. I've seen you a million times go up. 20 years ago. I also. Jewels came to the main room last night. She did? She's never been there. She's trying to get up, huh? No. She brought 10 people. Really? Yeah. It was crazy. I couldn't believe it. Wow. And I had to kill. And I walked by her table and she got, you did good. She knows. Yeah. You've seen you before. Yeah, but she doesn't. She doesn't give it up. She doesn't. That's not what she does. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I love about her. Okay. Can I tell you, I saw you on TikTok. You see it? What did you send me? It's a 90s furniture, local advertisement commercial. And it's something about it just made me feel so happy. Send it to him. I want to see it. Yeah. Yeah. Send it to who? The guy who put it up on the screen. There's just something about like race, race relations that was the purest back then. The 90s. Yeah. It's no, but it's a love. Right. But it wasn't what it is now. I want to go back to this time. I'm Richard aka Big H. I'm the captain red house and I'm black. I like poppin eye, the poppin furniture, it's a people's home. I'm Johnny aka Teen Gage. I work at the Red House and I'm white. I like deer hunting, bass fishing and extending credit to all people. I'm black and I love the Red House. I'm white and I love the Red House. I'm a black woman and I love the Red House. I am white and the Red House is for me. After Red House. This is going to be a comedy sketch team that did this. No, it's real. Look at the sofa. It's perfect for a black person or a white person. This is perfect for a white person or a black person. Big pause. They were guests on Tiger Belly. Like two weeks ago. Wait, this is not real. It's a sketch. This is like when my dad sends me an AI video. I'm so embarrassed. This is like when my dad sends me an AI video of like Kobe cussing out someone in like a Sora video. Jesus, dude. Oh my God. I thought it was. I knew that. I was like, this has got to be a comedy sketch scene. I thought this was a real like, wow. Yeah, man. But your innocence is good because it is a good commercial. Yeah, I was like. I would go to the Red House after seeing this. Yeah. I go, wow. They really got along. Like shaking hands. You know what I mean? I was like, this is great. This is good. It's good for progress. Yeah. I feel like a fool. That don't. Yeah. Please don't. I feel so embarrassed. I'm going inside myself again. Don't. Yeah. Yeah. Damn it, dude. I'm a fool. Are you sure that's them? Couldn't be more sure. Okay. My bad. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm excited for right now? I get to go home tonight and have my favorite soup. Let me get it. It's soup season, dog. It's soup season now. Now that's a crisp air. If you can see your breath in LA, it's soup season. Yeah. And I'm excited about soup season. Let me tell you about it. I'd even invite some of you pigs over because my wife cooks my favorite soup and we don't get it all year until now. Can I guess what it is? Yeah. Can I name the vegetable or that? You can name the ingredients. Pumpkin. No, no pumpkin. Okay. Okay. I do not. I don't enjoy pumpkin. Is there squash in it? Nope. Okay. Split pea. Nope. Fuck. I love split pea. She makes soupa tascana. Noodles? No. No. There's noodles in it. Look at it right there. Soupa tascana. She makes it good? Oh my god. It's like potato chunks. It's spicy Italian sausage. Wow. Some people use kale. I don't like kale. Okay. But it's so good, dude. Yeah. And by the way, you pour that over a little bit of rice for your people. Yum yum yum. Unreal. Yeah. I had a wagyu bim bim bop bowl last night for dinner. Wow. Where? At that place that I went to in Phoenix. Wow. Bim bim bop bowl. And then the girl next to me goes, what is that? What is that? And I go, it's a Caesar salad. It's a smoking bowl. And she goes, what is that? I go, Caesar salad. But my favorite kind of bim bim bop has to be the hot pot. Oh, dude. It has to be that stone pot. Yes. Because the rice crisps at the bottom. Dude, you get one. And my favorite thing is when you peel that off at the bottom. Yeah. And you get that crunchy heart. That crunch crunch. Oh my god. Name me some soups that you absolutely love and that you hate. Okay. Top soup for Bobby Lee. Okay. For me is Tam yum. No, dude. That's rude. Sweet and sour. No. Dragon's breath soup. Ding jung jiege. Ding jung jiege. Yeah. You've given me that. Yeah. Ding jung jiege I like. Yeah. Any jiege is kimchi or ding jung I like. I like all the jiggas. Any jiggas I like. Okay. And then, but the Americana ones. Yeah. I'm a big fan of. Yeah. Right. Judge me if you want. No, no. There's going to be some hot takes. Sure. But the chicken noodle soup from Erwan. Oh yeah. It's just. No, but with the thick noodles. Oh, yeah. To have it in your fridge and as an emergency little meal. That's your favorite. It's good. What's your favorite? Carlos. Split pea. I'm not done with my favorite. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Excuse me. What? Fideo. Fideo. A good split pea. I don't like split pea. Yeah. Corn chowder. I can go if it's a 50-50. Yeah. But clam chowder with Tabasco sauce. Oh, right? Come on, baby. I can't do clam chowder. Yeah. Why? Because I don't like clams in bloop. Okay. That's what it looks like. They were like bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop. I don't want to do that. Okay. Clams are their own thing. Yeah. Like spaghetti clams? Fine. If they're still in the shell. Oh. Yeah. Spaghetti clams. You've taken them. Bangoli. Bangoli. But you like you do clam chowder? I love it. I wouldn't have pinned that for you. A clam chowder guy? It has to be like you have to be in Seattle where they do a good. Oh, it's from New England. Yeah. The opposite side of the country. But Seattle has some good spots there. Oh, it's got it. It's got it's seafood. It's a seafood spot. Yeah. Port town is what I'm saying. I know it's from New England. Right. But I'm saying, you know what I mean? I've never been to New England. So the the other port town I've been to is in Seattle. It's still the same. All right. So I don't like the judgment. Get me that Sacramento clam chowder. I don't like matzo ball soup. It's bullshit. It is a lump in the middle. Get the fuck out of here. But if you get the extras in it, it's good. What is that? If you go to like cantors or something, you can get noodles in it. Yeah. But then just take the ball out. Then it's chicken noodle soup. I like the ball. What do you do with that thing? Nothing. You don't eat that. That's a lump. I know, but it's like, you know, cosmetic. I hate it. Look at that thing. Like big ball in there. Don't need it. It's taking up space. Yeah. It's like when a couch is too big for a small living room. You're like, what? You don't need this. You could have gotten a love seat and gotten away with it. I don't like carrots, but I like carrots and soup. But I also like carrots. How the Mexicans or they pickle it. That's my favorite. Whatever. What do they call it? No, they pickle it. Yeah, they pickle. It has jalapeno pickled too. Pickled. It's a whole thing. It's onions. Pickled vegetables. Dude, whatever that is, dude. That's very Spanish. Nosotros. Nosotros. I love it. I love it. That I do love. Yeah. And I love head breakfast. You ever go to the griddle? On sunset? Yeah. No, I went there one time. The pancake place? It's got like a line down the block. Doesn't it? And with her today. You with her today? Incredible. With pancakes? Dude, I got a, no, I got a french toast with fruity pebbles in it. Oh my God. Look at the fruity pebble. You're really fist fighting that will govie, huh? Yeah, yeah. I got that. That's insane. Bobby. Yeah. Dude, that's crazy. That's like a chump. I know. But I shared it with my friend. Oh, okay. Your teeth are going to fall out. What I always do is when I go to a breakfast spot with a friend, you know what I mean? I'll go, we share one sweet, but we get our separate things. We can share that too. You get a dish. Right. Yeah. So you don't eat the whole thing. It's just like two or three bites. But that thing, dude, ooh la la, me regu, be ne bueno, bueno. That's too sweet for me. Right. And syrup on top of that? No. That whatever that cream is, is the thing. Oh, that's I refuse to do extra. And then I got a Chicago scramble that was really good. What was it? What's in there? Pepper. You know, Italian peppers and sausage, you know. So over here, Chicago scramble, Italian sausage, peppers. Italian sausage, peppers. That's good. Yeah. Diabetes. Diabetes. And Chicago. You were on a sketch show, huh? Oh, dude, when they said, you got the job, I went, really? What do you mean? You're a great actor. No, what I'm saying is that you don't think that I was bewildered that I got on a fucking sketch show? No, you're hilarious. I didn't know how to do anything. Well, you just don't do impressions. Or accents or any what the things that you need to do in a sketch show. No, but you do characters. I can do characters. Yes, you can do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can do some. That's what sketch shows are, a great character. Yeah, man. Donny. Good to see you, man. Stuff like that. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a viral. Hello, welcome to my castle. Those are the oner ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't really make it on the show. You know what I think, you know what hinders you? What? It's your eyes. My eyes are what? Well, you tell a lot in the eyes through comedy and that's what hinders you. What do you mean? Your eyes. Oh. Because when you do a character, you have to like, see you do that when you go to like a different guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to physically change your eyes. I have to physically change my eyes. Yeah, like be a guy from the south. What? Be a guy from the south. How you doing, man? See what I mean? Okay, be a guy from New York. Hey, forget about it. See, look at your eyes. You change your eyes. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. You do change your eyes. I make my eyes wider. Yeah, you make white eyes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like you're going to put eyedrops in when you do that. I think you're right. You changed my eyes. It's in your eyes, dude. Whoa, dude. But the comedy is where? Yeah, in your heart. It's in your heart. Yeah. I saw Frankenstein. Mm. Hot Frankenstein. Do you see it? I know, but every time I see a clip on TikTok that makes me laugh of a guy who's correcting people, have you seen that guy when he's like, actually Frankenstein's monster? Frankenstein is, it's a great clip. There's been a couple of them out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's hot Frankenstein? Yeah. I'm out. It's Frankenstein supposed to be hideous. I know. The whole point was, can I say something though? I thought the same thing, but there was all this hooplet that said, how about cartography is great. You know what I mean? Do you see it, Macon? Not yet. Yeah, yeah. Who is it? Guillermo? Guillermo? Oh, it's going to look fucking amazing. Yeah, so I watched it because of that, right? But I have to say, I had really great empathy for him. For Frankenstein's monster? Yeah, for Frankenstein's monster. And it was the first time I saw anything Frankenstein where I was just like, I felt so sorrow for him. You've seen the original? I did. Yeah. Yeah, but this Frankenstein is pretty good. Here's what bothers me about this. What? Because for years, all of us, everyone in this room, when we were kids, you thought Frankenstein was the monster. And then you get old enough, and you see it, and you go, oh, that's Frankenstein's monster is what he's called. Yet, societally, we still call that guy Frankenstein. Yeah. Like on a Halloween shirt, it'd be like Frankenstein. It just would. Why didn't they just give that guy the name Frankenstein and then call him doctor? Yeah, that's right. Like at some point, switch it up. Yeah. It was such a weird thing. Also, if you're going to keep his name Frankenstein's monster, give him a different name. Yeah. If Frankenstein was going to be called Frankenstein, give Frankenstein to to to to to to to to. God, you were so close. That's it. To to to to to to to to to to to to to to. No, no, no, he didn't make it. Give me another shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Argonfark. Argonfark. Yeah. Argonfark. Argonfark. Not fuck. Don't say fuck in the name. Oh, yeah. Argonfark. Argonfark. Fark. Fark. He's Swedish. Argonfark. Argonfark. Argonfark. And this is my bride. Who is your bride's name? Bride of Argonfark. Oh, okay. That's fine. I like that. So he was hot. It's worth seeing this thing. Yeah. You saw it? Yeah. It's awesome. It's so awesome. I, I, you know, you have to. I just haven't been to the movies in so long. Yeah. I gotta go. I just haven't been. I mean, it's no predator badlands, but it's very good. Now you see me. Now you don't. It's also out. Oh, yeah. You were in it. Congratulations. Thanks, man. Yeah. And I've, people said I like it. People like it. Now you see me. Did you see it? I haven't seen it. Did you see yourself on it? I've been on the road. No, yeah. I mean, I guess I'm in the first scene he said. You saw it. Yeah. You went to go see it. Are you a fan of the franchise? Not really. Okay, good. You saw for Andrew. Yeah. Shut up. Why did you go to see it? I saw it for you. The same way that I saw. Borderlands for me. Yeah. Yeah. Not in the theater, though. Yeah. Oh, you did? What's, what's now you see me got a rotten tomatoes. I walk out of both of them. 59 59. We're cruising. Yeah. What a borderlands. What is borderlands at now? Oh, but audience score is 81. That's way better. I'll take audience score all day. I'm going to go see that movie though. I was supposed to go see it and I couldn't. We've been out of town. 10. 48 though. Popcorn made it 48. Yeah. So how the movie you didn't finish it, you walked out. It's okay. One of those movies. Yeah. The original was, yeah, I've seen, I mean, I've only seen the first one. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Let's zoom in there. Jesse Eisenberg, how incredible the rest of the cast, magic, how amazing Rosamund Pike, but Andrew Santino stood out as a complete dud. Am I really in the first scene? Yeah, first scene. Oh, wow. Wow. That's cool. Maybe I'll just go to see it and then leave. Wow. No, I'd want to, I'd see the movie. I want to see it. Yeah, I'd love to see it. We should go as a family. We should go and watch it. Support you. I had a guy come up to me and say, yo, bad friends. I was like, what's up, man? And he's like, yo, I used to fucking hang out. I used to skate with Stevie. It's so funny. That's, it was fucking awesome. Yeah. I was like, oh, really? Stevie Lee? Yeah. He's like, yeah. He's like, tell him I said, what's up? Yeah. It was the first time someone talked to me and not asked about you. Yeah. That's cool. It was cool. Because we went back, we went back to like, you know, old little spots. Sean Malto, my buddy, Sean was with me. Yeah. And we were just out with a bunch of young skate dudes. In Phoenix? Yeah. Because that's when my brother went to ASU and skated a lot there. I know. I went there too. Yeah. But we were with a couple of young skate dudes and one of the dudes was like, yo, I used to skate with Stevie Lee. And I was like, oh, that's, that's rad. But it was so cool because nine times out of 10. Hey, where's Bobby? Yeah. Hey, where's Bobby? You too. Yeah. They want to know where you are. Yeah, you too. No, they never ask you about me. Are you, are you remind? We're sentino. That's not what they said. I can't even talk by the way you said that. We're sentino. I go, he's not here. He's in, you know, somewhere with Taylor Swift. Okay. Oh, what are you going to get me for Christmas? Do you have my Christmas gift? Let's get me a real gift. No, no. I got you a real gift. Did your wife tell you that I called frantically for weeks? She did. She couldn't think of one. I know. And I couldn't think of one either. You don't have a wife. I didn't get to call anyone. I had to figure it out on my own. I know, but you have the world. What do you give somebody that has the world? What are you talking about? In their fingertips. You have everything. They have that. You have everything. I still found something for you. I still found something. Yeah, but it's like, there's no, because I'm creative and I care. You don't care. All right, I'll get you. No, you don't need to tell me. Yeah. But you better get me something good. Tiger Woods rookie card. A rookie golf card. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what else it's like. It's like, how do you like, would you? So how I thought about this. Can we make this deal? When it comes to you and I, we don't give each other gifts. No deal. We get each other. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no deal. I want it. No, I'm out, dog. Please. It's too much. I spend time thinking about it for too much. All right. You know what I mean? I'm calling. So it's just you and I just have a handshake. Like the old days. Like the old days. It's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with that. It's a let down. How? Why? Because I've always thought gifts are fun. I got you those shoes you never wear. They're still under the desk. Those arsenal shoes, they're under there. Oh yeah. They've never moved. Yeah. Yeah. Other side. Yeah. Imagine how many young kids would love to have those shoes. And thank you. I want them there. I, why can't I place the presents that I receive where I want? You know? Well, it's not a painting, they're shoes. I know, but I want them down here by my other feet. You have two feet down there? Give another set of feet. No, by my feet. Oh yeah. Yeah. My feet looks that I'm like, what's up? You know what I mean? Oh. Yeah, yeah. I just want them there. Why can't I place the fucking presents? They're fewer shoes. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Say right now things that you want. And then, then I can have a direction to go. Okay. All right. So tell me now. Peace in the Middle East. All right. So I'll give you, I'll give you money to give to them. Okay. To a cause or something. Okay. That's what we did with your birthday. You, some of the money gives us the cause. That's right. What else do I, give me something tangible, like a something physical I can buy, an item. And if you throw it out there or throw a bunch of things out there, then I can like, you know, you know what I mean? A loofa. Okay. Okay. I need a new loofa. I want a foot massage machine. Okay. Now we're getting somewhere, dude. I want a Toto Japanese toilet. Okay. This is good. This is good. This is good. This is good. Will you buy me a Toto Japanese? I know already with all three things that you just mentioned, I already know exactly what I'm going to get you. Okay. Good. You know what it is? What? Nothing. I want to hide. I'll tell you what I really want. What? More than anything in the world. What? Is for you and me to actually, next year, make a movie for real. But that's not a birthday gift. There's nothing I can give you. It's a Christmas gift. That's something that we have to do together. Do you not believe in the miracle of Christmas? I do believe in the miracle of whatever that holiday is. Of course I do. I mean that holiday. I don't know much about it. St. Nicholas, there's presents, there's a rooftop. You know what I mean? There's little horsies on a rooftop, whatever. You don't get it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I understand the North Pole, the Elves. You know what they call him in Britain? What they call Santa Claus? James. Father Christmas. Oh, Father Christmas. That's his property. There's a lot of English people I may name James. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like I just threw it out there. But this is Father Christmas. Yeah. What are you guys getting us for Christmas? What do you guys want for Christmas? You're gonna keep your jobs. Okay. What do you guys want? What do you want for Christmas? For real. Gucci chain. Gucci chain. All right. Thank you. Your wish is granted. Okay, what about you, my cone? I've always wanted an original pressing of stakes as high, the Day Last Soul album, because on the repress they removed all the original samples. So a first pressing of that. You're such a nerd. Okay, the first pressing of what? The Day Last Soul's what album? Stakes as high. They're 96 release. Okay. Okay, then I'll go with a car. Original stakes as high. Is you sure what he just said? Yeah. You want a new car? You want a new car? It could be used. What kind of car? The Tesla. What, the Tesla 3? The truck? The No. The Cybertruck? It's not the truck. No. No, the Y or whatever. Well, there's two SUVs, the X and the Y. Do you know which one you like? You like the one with the gold wing doors? The ones that doors that... The one. Yes. That's the Y, right? Yeah, it's the big one. It's expensive. Okay. Yeah, they're over. No, no, that's X, right? Or maybe it's the X one has the doors. What is the gold... There it is. That's the Tesla Model X. So you want... That's the big one. You sure that's the one you like? Okay. What else are you willing to do? Because based on the job that you have, you have to do it a little extra. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to have a Christmas dinner with you guys. No. No. I'd rather buy you a fucking new car than eat food with you. That's so funny. I'd rather buy you a new car than eat food with you. All right, so we got the Christmas gifts. You want a car, you want a Gucci chain, and you want to print an album, an album that we have to... What's a Gucci chain, man? Like a chain from Gucci. Oh, like a necklace. Yeah, like a gold chain. Okay. Yeah. You shouldn't be that surprised. You're wearing purses. Thank you for being a bad friend.