No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the puja bhajjo on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. What's up with you? Wait a minute, is this the right number? It's the loser line. Come on, just call me back. If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this. Let's say someone approaches you while you're out at the club and uses this charming pick-up line on you. You know, they say that Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Yeah, they really do. Obviously they haven't been in my arms. Awwww. They say like someone. A little secret between just you and me. My thighs are the naughtiest place on earth. Okay, now. Whatever you do, resist the urge to point to his pants and tell him, oh, I guess it is a small world after all. Instead, give him the digits to the secret Splash Mountain hotline, which is actually the loser line. So hopefully he calls it and leaves an awkward voicemail we can play on the air. Voice mails like this one. Next message. This is the... I have an issue with the crystal that you sold me. It's a rose quartz and it's supposed to help me like attract love. And to be honest with you, like I haven't found any romantic connections at all. Like I'm not getting any matches on the dating app. Nothing's happening. And it seems to be the only change that's happened in my life is like it's attracting stray animals. Like I've had three cats and a dog show up to my back door. They're scratching on my door. They've been trying to get in. Like this has been the last few days. So I don't know, like I think there's something wrong with this one. And I might need to change it out. Like the last thing that I need is a damn raccoon trying to get into my house. And who says the power of crystals is a scam? Well listen, it attracted a different type of love. A girl sees you with cute animals and maybe she'll come to you. Come on. He probably just has the crystal upside down. Yeah, that's it. Next message. Hi, this is... You sold me some crap at the flea market. This is the phone number that was on the business card at your stupid little fan or whatever. I bought some exfoliator, whatever, face cleaner for my wife. I ended up using it and now I have no f***ing eyebrows. I want to know what kind of f*** you are selling and I want to know where the hell you are. Do you know what it's like? F***ing around with no f***ing eyebrows looking like... like f***ing Voldemort or something from F***ing Harry Potter. It's not funny. Next message. Yeah, it is. Who's at the craft shows giving out the loser line to all their clients? That's really fun. That has to be the same person as the... As the crystal? Yes. No f***ing people. I don't know why that guy's complaining though. No eyebrows? Did it exfoliate his skin or not? It may have been took off all of your eyebrows and probably cleared those pores up underneath too. But look, if the flea market is a little bit too classy for your taste, I know where you can really slum it on the Brooke and Jeffrey TikTok page. It doesn't get any darker than there where we have song of the week video clips, videos of Jose and Alexis messing around in the studio, and of course the top... You make that sound so weird. Yeah. Having fun, you know. Yeah, okay. I still don't think we have any videos of that. Honestly. And of course we put the top loser line of the week every single week up there, so you can all see it. Yeah. No regrets whatsoever. Speaking of no regrets, let's go to the next loser line. Next message. This message is for trivia Trish. This is f***ing. I was at your trivia night last Friday and asked you for your number. I saw how reluctant you were because you probably thought I was asking you out, but not the case. I'm calling to let you know that you were wrong about one of your questions. You said that the Lost City of Atlantis had a statue of the sea god Poseidon, which is true, but not true, is that you said it was made out of gold because when the aliens came down 20,000 years ago and put it there, they would have either used platinum or zibranium at the time. Definitely not gold. There was no gold beneath the ocean, which was only 100 miles deep at the time. Get your facts straight. Bye. No. Oh, man. I like how the Lost City, he actually knows what happened there. Yeah, I know. Because basically they're all the best. They know everything about the make life. You know, at some point somebody was like, oh, come to our trivia night. Maybe you'll meet someone and then that's the type of people she met. You're talking about ancient alien statues made from zibranium. Next message. Hey, Dan, this is true. I'm just like going to be up front with you. It's cupping season and I'm kind of looking for a temporary boyfriend. I just need to like get my family off my back. I was going to offer you a couple hundred bucks, but I don't know. You seem like the type of guy who would enjoy it. So maybe just like being with me is probably payment enough. And I mean, I work at Applebee's so I can top you a few free meals, but like no alcohol. They don't want to do that. Next message. No alcohol. I mean, that would be a turn off for me. But the rest of it I was on board for. I feel like he missed out, not getting his whips mail. I'm going to get a number for our technical director Ashton. I feel like this woman's right up his alley. That could be a perfect trade off for you. Hang out with a woman who really doesn't like you at all, but you get 25% off riblets. He's here for it. He's nodding in the proofer. We'll give you that phone number. That was the loser line. You can listen to it regularly at this time every week. And make sure you subscribe to the Brooke and Jeffery YouTube channel where you can listen to every loser line second date and phone tap right there. We're going to do a phone tap right after this. No gloss. No filter. Just stories. Spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the puja bha chho on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire.
