No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the puja bhajjo on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. It's almost time for your prank call. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. And today we reach out to a guy whose wife went to a charity auction the other night. Without him, it had something to do with her work and she was already downtown anyway. So she went, came home, and didn't mention anything significant happening. So imagine the husband's surprise when he gets a call from one of the organizers, thanking him for their extremely generous donation. Oh goodness. It's your phone tap right now. Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. Hello? Hi, is Kevin or Pamela in? This is Kevin. How can I help you? Hi, Kevin. This is Harvey Dart. I just wanted to call and say thank you so much for your generous donation last night at the Charity Banquet. Yeah, I didn't go to the event. My wife did. Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess it was something connected to her work downtown. Got it. Well, will you just please send on the message that allies thanks her for her generous donation of $5,000? What? Five grand. Are you kidding me? I'm not kidding. We're very grateful. Oh, I'm sure you are. Who are you with again? Allies? Yes, it stands for affluent lawyers leveraging influence for early sentences. Okay, we need to back up here, but what's this charity? What are you doing? Because I wasn't there. And I had no idea she was going to spend that amount of money. Okay, I understand. It's basically a fund that helps already well off attorneys pull some strings to get their less than desirable clients out of jail faster. What? Yes. And with your generous $5,000 donation, you've helped put at least three convicted felons back out onto the streets, giving them another chance. Hold on a second. That doesn't sound good what you just said. Well, I mean, if you were one of the freed criminals who had his assault charges dropped, then it would sound good. That sounds even worse. How so? How's it worse? I mean, it's already confusing enough that the name of your charity is allies. Well, I'm sure my wife got confused by that. Okay, well, in our defense, it's better than the acronym that we had before, which was cash counselors assisting scumbags home. What's good about putting criminals back out on the street? You said earlier that you weren't at the event, right? That is true. Last night, one of our highest billers, his name is Phil McDougal. You probably heard of him. But Phil talked about getting a guy nicknamed fatal off of his third home invasion charge. Wait, what? It was really moving. To be honest, this is starting to sound like some kind of joke and I'm not into it. Oh, no, no, no, no. It was actually one of the biggest challenges of his life. And he couldn't get the charges dropped without your donation. I mean, I mean, not yours. It was someone else's, but your donation will help a criminal in the future. We're going to put stop payment on that check. So you better return it because your charity sounds like worse. I think you're not considering all the positive after effects that it has. Did you know your contribution is non tax deductible? We're not even getting a break on it. No, so the IRS... But then we're absolutely putting stop payment on this. Okay, well, at this point, we already have the cash in our account and there's not a lot we can do. So I'll be getting that money. I will absolutely be getting that money. You won't, but you will be getting a thank you card from a future freed criminal. Wait, what? Because we do provide the home address of any donation over $1,000. Are you out of your Godf**king mind? Yeah, so you should be expecting a thank you card from someone like Fatal, probably in the next... No, no, you're not doing anything like that and no one's coming to the house. Don't be ridiculous. Just because a criminal has your address and knows you have a lot of money to donate, that doesn't mean they're going to show up and rob you. That's prejudice. No, no, no, I don't need... I need the name of your general counsel and I need to know where the hell that I'm getting this check back from and it better be in my hot hand, Mniana. Got it. That's Spanish for next year. Anyway, I would have just requested you tell your wife the charity and the prank call that we did were both a massive success. You said what? I said prank call was a big success because Pamela listens to a radio show. It's called Broken Jeffrey in the morning. And that's why you're getting... She does. You're getting phone tapped right now by me. I'm Jeff. Oh my God. I'm sorry, Kevin. Dude, I'm going to strangle you through this phone. Don't do that. We have criminals that can do that for you after you free them. Yeah, get a lot of strangulations for my five grand. You sounded so shocked when you heard what the charity was actually for. I might not be able to sleep tonight. No, you could help a convicted convict named Diesel get off of his burglary charge. Oh my God. He wants to come to your house and thank you in person. Get in line. Oh yeah, Fatal's going to meet you first, all right, after you. You'll get along great. Yeah. For a son who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachow on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire.
