Dr. Caroline Leaf on Mental Health, Faith & Rewiring the Mind | NXT Chapter with T.D. Jakes

Science and spirituality are one and the same thing, but two sides of the same quaint. So science is the how to, how does it all work? And spirituality is the more philosophical. This is what it kind of shows up like in our life and and how it makes us feel and the impact of life on us. Hello everybody, I want to welcome you to next chapter. I am T.D. Jakes and I'm very, very, very excited about the opportunity that we have to kind of squeeze like a sponge all the information that we can from my guest today. She has made a landmark indentation in the world through neuroscience and she's also a believer that's a strange mix. We're gonna talk about that. I'm talking about none other than my longtime friend Dr. Carolyn Leap. Chapter number one from South Africa to America. We got a lot to talk about. We did. You came from South Africa and I love South Africa. By the way, I love South Africa and it came to America. Very different lifestyle. Each has its own beauty and its own challenges. America has changed a lot since you've been here and you have helped to change a lot of things for a lot of people in America through your work that you've done here. What do you, what do you observe as distinctive differences between South Africa and America? I think that's a huge question but there is the the first thing that hit us when we came here was we felt safer because there were so many problems in South Africa. But what we saw what I saw what South Africa, what I saw there was a desire for people to work. They'll do anything to make things work very very innovative and making something out of nothing tremendously empowered. There was here there wasn't quite the same need and I'm talking very generally. It's easier life here. It's very very different. Also since a human there's South Africans because of all the trauma. Everything's funny. It's a way of coping. There's always something to laugh at. What's definitely this is the land of opportunity. There is an openness here. There is an excitement here. There is, you know, it's, I mean we can go down with tapping politically now which is kind of very scary. What really hit me though was I felt there was almost more racist here than in South Africa. Wow. And if you think about it I grew up in the pre-aparated era in the transition when Mandelica went to power, actually worked with his children and in the post, post, seven years in power. And so to the whole era and the shift was phenomenal and there's such an open-mindedness now. So I found when I came here more racism here than they which was maybe with the time I grew up and that was quite a shock for me. That's totally amazing. Considering the time that you were in South Africa and down Ressa was in South Africa during that time. My first trip to South Africa I stayed in the Michelangelo. You know that I'll do well. Yes, downtown and I raised my window at night and I could hear this singing and there's no sound like the sound of South Africa harmony. Nothing. Yeah. That's beautiful. You know it anywhere you hear it. It's different from any other continent, any other country and Africa has its own ring and its own tone. Oh, it's so very powerful. You're so right and you're so right as well about the it's kind of a shock the statement I made. But it's the obviously growing up I was very young when it was very much in the apart and it was terrible. And I can still remember separate bathrooms and they kind of think terrible things. But it was the transition with Mandela was just so dramatic and it's continued to stay open and I think that open-mindedness. I didn't see it here as much which at some obviously some areas but I'm booking general. But in terms of a land of opportunity and freedom this definitely is. If you work hard you can make it here. But things have changed again. That's also a concern. So that's yeah. It's going backwards in a lot of ways. I think so. Yes, going backwards in a lot of ways. And when you think of I ran into John Lewis before he passed away and I was questioning him about Black Lives Matter and he said the one thing that the one critique he had it said they didn't sing when they march and when you talked about laughter in South Africa. The coping mechanism is singing also wasn't coping mechanism with the dogs and the hoses and all the things we went to in the 60s. But I am astounded that having come from South Africa and knowing the vicissitudes of South Africa as apartheid that you would find more racism here than you did there. That's really a showstoppy statement right there. It is. It was very passive aggressive here. It was very open day. Yeah. And it's very that strong. That's very clear. Yeah. Yeah. It was so subtle that it was shocking. Yeah. That I didn't expect. I think we've lost our sense of right and wrong. I think that we have become immune to a sense of social morality. I agree with that. Yeah. And and it has become so ambiguous that it's almost whatever you think is right is right and whatever you think is wrong is wrong. And that autonomous thought has become very dangerous to us being able to be as progressive and honest and honest with us. And then you can get better if you can get honest with yourself. So true. That honesty is for that honesty is really part of love. And I don't like to use the word love in a in a wushi, wushi sense. But as a concept of how we should live as humans, which is honesty, trust, building each other up, not just competitive, tearing each other down kind of thing. And that in in an environment of love, we can be more honest and we can be more true. That seems to have really shifted. That there's a shift that people are more aware. Do you think it shifted because of the home? Does it start in the home or does it start on TikTok and Facebook and Instagram or is it a combination of both? I think it's a combination. And I think what's happened is that there is, it was a slide that was my opinion. That's a slide that was happening that we know as humans that the fundamental called everything is love, relationships, purpose, all that stuff that we all know. But we got so caught up in I think competitiveness, virtualism and not that I'm adding any of that. Capitalism and if it's not balanced, if things are not done in a ball, I think we got unbalanced. That's the key. And as soon as you get unbalanced, there's a shift. But that shift is good because it brings everyone down to a point and I think there's a big hit, we've kind of hit a rock bottom globally and that rock bottom is showing up all the oddliness and it's more extreme. And so therefore there's also a shift in the other direction. People are there's a shift back. So I guess it's kind of going to create that sway back to it the more popular. I'm glad you said globally because one of the things that's astounding is many of the eels that we see happening in America are happening around the world. Talk to me. Decaturships and rebellion and marching in the streets and unrest, social unrest, political unrest, financial upheavals trying to find a system that works. A lot of the same things are but it's almost like COVID and we just came out of COVID. Chapter number two, COVID and the world unhealed. Now we're having a financial COVID as it were and a sociological COVID. Do you think that they're all interactive one between the other? Do you think that we never really healed from the physical COVID and it has some bearing on our sociological interaction with each other that leads over to our financial? Great question. I definitely do. As soon as you go through something that's right, that's right so huge and existential to you know to you as a human surviving, it shifts everything and it makes you question everything so it makes big things happen and so yes definitely I think that as you say there's a global reflection it's across the globe so it's not just isolated so it's very interesting how we've gone from a physical challenge into a sociological and financial challenge and it's as you said it's murdered everywhere. It's not just one so it's a human experience. It's huge. You know when we had 9-11 there were mornings or memorials there was a continuation of thought when we had COVID we had way more people to die and way less said about it. Do you think that internalization of all of that pain people losing their mothers and having to talk to them on FaceTime and touch the window and all of that kind of stuff traumatized us both the persons and the viewers in a way from which we have not recovered and what do you think we should have done to acknowledge over a million people dying in this country? Hmm that's we should have done more. There should be more speaking about the trauma, about the experience and about how to process through. I think this actually if I can correct myself there's been quite a lot of discussion about the actual trauma and the pain of what you describe not being able to really have that human interconnection. What I don't think we've done sufficiently is process past that. You know the what next because trauma does impact us and it impacts us and we're going to I know we're going to talk about mind and brain and trauma and heart all works for us as humans but essentially it impacts us and it builds into every part of us as a network but you can't live in that swamp of the trauma you have to process through which doesn't mean that you're ignoring that it's happened but what next and I don't think we did enough of the what next I don't think we did enough of the recovery I think we immersed ourselves in the pain and then the change and then they suddenly now now what what's next and it was kind of just trying to catch up and so we see all this destabilization all over the place because people are feeling chaotic but out of chaos comes order and the challenges and changes and people are questioning they're questioning basic values and that's where there's definitely a shift back even in the younger generation I see this with Jen Alpha I see it with even the younger generations Jen Z Jen Z and Jen Alpha particularly where they are questioning what is really important colors not important boundaries are not important connection is what's important communication connection and I love that we're moving more in that direction so two things we need to be seen a shift in our younger generation more I believe and number two is I don't think we process beyond we didn't get into the what next phase no we didn't another thing about it is it was debated the trauma was debated but it was debated amongst the upper asholan of the country it didn't sink all the way down to the people who actually had death so they had some it didn't really get down into the trenches communication in America has become very difficult because there's so many different ways in which we ingest information that you can have an entire study done on a particular subject and it not sink down into society the way it needs to all goes through in the radical extremes like 3% or I'm or shouting the loudest I think it's 3% of shouting the loudest and they seem to represent 100 it's feel 30 and that's not the truth but that communication is not effectively and honestly you mentioned it earlier on honest communication I don't know this I do know that that's in missing you know that sort of that as soon as people feel what's really going on you're hiding something from us as soon as you feel that as soon as they secrecy this confusion and I think that was a problematic you know across the border was particularly bad in this country I think I'm giving permission to not be okay yes that you know I wrote a whole book on that literally giving being we've got to tell people it's okay to not be okay that's so normal the garden of gay seminary experience it's it's a difficult life is tough yeah it's okay to battle with those things not just constantly put a positive spin and happy happiness psychology and seeking off to happiness because constantly trying to put that happiness or positivity on top of something that's unprocessed is a bandaid and what we see from the research you do that if you just pop some positive sort of and I'm so quite that simple but taking just a without processing through and moving on and you just bandaid approach that people get worse people get more depressed more anxious more worried more stress starts well a lot of it comes from the fact that we're performing we perform at work you know we perform if we go to church we perform we we're I'm okay I'm fine how are you doing I was glad you know you go home you perform and and there's no place to really be yourself to find yourself to know yourself and to to really do a proper assessment am am I okay and how far off am I need to be said you know yeah oh we got to jump to this you got to jump to this you and I can do it we do this every time yeah yeah we can go all day chapter number three the brain versus the mind you have made a sharp distinction between the brain and and the oh the organ of the brain of being a part of the body and the mind being a little bit less able to pinpoint we can't operate on the man we can operate on the brain as a as a neurologist I'm probably going to terrible job with describing it how do you define the difference between the brain and the mind that's probably one of the most important questions for humanity at the moment and I'm not trying to make something big out of something that isn't big it's massive because your mind is who you are it's your essential essence it's Bishop James it's Dr. Caroline Neve it's every that is who you are it's 99% of who you are your brain and your body are just 1% of who you are and there is research for thousands of years well these research over a hundred years of neuroscience research confirming this there is over at least thousands of years of explanations if you go back into ancient texts if you go into all philosophies back to your properties you will it's always that distinction has always been there that your mind is fundamental and the physical body of which the brain is simply an organ is part is only the 1% that doesn't mean the brain is not important I've been in this field 40 years and in the 40 years that I've been doing this research in the 80s when I started it was it was very clear the mind and the brain are separate and they work together by the mid 90s or the advent of technology where we could see inside the brain with FMR arm machines and MRIs that's when we started that that's when there was a big shift oh the brain is everything so we enter this period that we've been in for the last 50 years of what we call modern neuroscience is it has it has kind of mixed up the word mind and brain as though they're the same thing to varying modern it's not an ancient concept at all the mind and the brain being the same things synonyms of each other is incorrect and it's a very modern and there's no scientific underpinning for it it's been scientifically disproved whereas for thousands of years plus 100 years of neuroscience formal neuroscience has shown us that these are separate things so your mind is you your essence your aliveness is the easiest way to understand it and if you think of like a simple way when a person dies their body within 20 seconds of the heart stopping the brain flatlines in every single soul then seconds is disintegrating and so as the body disintegrates the soul or the mind and the spirit the mind which is the soul the spirit reintegrate so essentially what I'm saying is that it the fundamental nature of who we are as humans is mind not atoms not space time but consciousness mind and I use the word consciousness and mind interchangeably although mind is a more accurate term to use and it's the more ancient term as well and it's the more scientifically correct term so when I talk about mind I'm talking about spirit and soul I'm talking about consciousness and these different levels and it's what drives you it's what animates your body so as as a person dies that mind moves out it doesn't go away so Bishop is research there has been for years but there's really fantastic research around the world that confirm that 99% 99.9% of who we are is mind and it has eternal value and what that means is that mind exists beyond the physical how do you compare that to effiginics I've been doing a lot of research on the impact generationally that passes down even though you didn't have the experience you still bear a certain degree of for lack of a better word the trauma or your DNA fires off differently based on your history and your past is any of that correctable is it therapy is it is it is it surgery which one are we working on here okay so this is a really good question okay so think of your brain and your body as 1% if you are think of them as almost like living in the virtual reality so your brain and body need to be animated and they need to be activated so your heart beats so your brain works so your hormones works so everything your lungs and everything about your your systems of your body work the mind is the driver of that force so the mind makes the physiology work and the mind also handles our psychology so we call that psycho neuro biology so the brain is not the mind as I've been saying the mind is much bigger it's this massive force if you have to do practice to give you an example you could put your make a circle around you and that's your mind and your mind is around and through you and it has different levels your mind animates the brain and animates the body your mind uses the brain in the body the mind for example is processing what we say your mind mind mind the the viewers listeners and it's taking this our words which are electromagnetic light forces creating like a cluster of of data in an energy for a little energy field putting that into the brain this is happening very fast and as it hits the brain the brain then responds electronegneedically and this is where the epigenetics comes in so genes are switched on epigenetics as the switch that activates genes so as I'm speaking to you and you listening to me I'm putting words into your mind zone the mind is processing my words and putting that into the brain as a card of energy and activating the epigenetics switch and activating genes and then that makes proteins and those proteins make networks in the brain and the body now that process is happening all day long and I'm going to get you off the epigenetics the generational stuff in a moment that's wants to lay the foundation so all day long as humans when you wake up in the morning on the time until we go to sleep every experience is being processed by the mind into these energy clouds and into the brain as networks and we build and build and these networks are made of proteins and the networks and the brain and the body so therefore our conversation is not only in your brain that's one tiny part it's in your brain and your entire body we have 37 to 100 trillion cells in our brain and our body and every single one of those cells holds and what we're saying but the mind is dominating so there's a connection between the mind that's like saying this I'll stay in mind is dominating I did not see it that way where the mind is dominating the brain it's the boss I had I had seen it the opposite way yeah it's the it's the boss it's the spritan soul level chapter number four generational trauma in epigenetics don't you think it's odd who's the mind that houses all of our memories all about pain all about hurt all of our joy it owes all sensations and feelings we have so I can go to the pharmacist and find something for headache I can find something for migraine but I can't find anything for broken heart no and you can numb it with a drug but it's not going to help you so what's happened there is when we have an experience that experiences part of your history it's part of what you go through it's formed as you look in your mind you go through this process as it makes this little cloud and it codes it into the brain and the body so the brain and body are simply coded that's where these the computer analogy but it's you know even the computers are smarter what the you know are just sophisticated as brain and body but they're similar but yes that that's coded in so the pain has to be dealt with on the mind level so any kind of experience we have is put into the brain and the body so it impacts how the brain and body function and so we'll talk about the generational stuff and the and the broken heart so you you knew someone these that experience it's experienced in the mind first in the brain and the body it's in three places you're actually brain in your body and it's trauma and it's it's a whole real physical thing the big it's an experience now because it's in the brain and the body the brain and the body are impacted our brain and our body are wired for life quite literally so toxic experience creates a protein network but it's inflamed because just I'm giving simple analogies and it's throughout our brain and our body because it's a grief pain whatever it may be I manage the inflammation rose and that so in other words physically our body then start showing up with higher blood pressure, cholesterol, potential for diseases 95% of lifestyle diseases including things like cancer and so on come from how we are managing our thought life which then creates these vulnerabilities in the brain and the body and then wherever there's a genetic weakness which comes back to you other question what about epigenetics generational things we know that the scriptures talk about the generations since of the phasal which suits the third and the fourth generation it's even further so what mean what happens there is that you have got inside of you stuff from four five generation what is that stuff that stuff is a network a protein network that came through in when the sperm and the over combined and you were formed those whatever was undelted and dealt with in your parents both sides went into you but it comes through as a little coded network that is sealed up like a cocoon about a fly that you know the other little silkworm will go into a cocoon so think of a little it's a sealed so we've all got there's no one on this panor who doesn't have who ever has lived in world of doesn't have stuff that's come through from the generations now that's part of epigenetics we have these gene codes that come through but that's physical so they create a propensity remember that obbrane and body are simply coded by the mind so what I do with my mind will activate or not so what happens you're born into a family and we have nurture which is op parenting and so on we have environment which is whatever you expose to me you've got a long history in your family as well and you've spoken about this often so there's all the nature there's the nature that comes through but nature's dominated by nurture and nurture's dominated by eye factor you your mind so you can have two people in the same environment with the same exposure one lands up going on drugs or getting addicted or really falling apart or whatever and the other one succeeds same in same genetics have come through that each is each person's unique so the dominant force when something passes through the generations is think of whatever passes through it's an actual genetic code protein network and all coded with DNA but it's sealed up creating a propensity a potential it's got to be activated if I don't activate it I can know that this is a history in my family but it's not going to affect me I can activate it and say oh I don't want to see my life and I can change it I can I'll never forget it because your history is part of your history but you can change what it looks like inside of you that is the power in the mind they need the power of choice free will the public God has given us one of the things that really astounds to me is that you go back to the holocaust or slavery or things like that you may not have experienced it directly but your body has been wired in such a way that you respond to things differently because of it so the sins of the Father passing on to the Son a lot of the things that we're dealing with are not our own problem excuse me I'm not our own problem but problems that preceded us generate exactly that pass down to us exactly and that's that's what trauma is the traumas these things that pass through so they they're actual networks inside your physical body but they and they do create an inclination so there's and it's like someone who hasn't been through what you've been through whatever what I've been through they will hear about something that oh that bad it'll touch them but that doesn't affect you like it affects you so if you've got whatever history in your family you've lost a loved one or whatever it's if someone hasn't lost a loved one through some sort of trauma they they won't react in quite the same way so yes the propensity the inclination the knowledge is there because and that's where we need to go to the mind again we need to go to the levels of the mind and this is this is fascinating can I dive into oh it's it's very interesting to the mind yeah yeah can I take you deep into the mind because it's going to really answer that question okay so if you think the ease I'm going to give you a visual so think of the mind as this all around you and through you the fact that if we put an EKG on your heart right now and so your heart beating it's because of your mind if you were physically dead the heart wouldn't beat anymore because but that's because the mind has moved out of it animates okay so that's now in in the circle the outer realm of the circle of mind is your consciousness that's awake when you're awake it's awake now we're both awake we're talking we're connecting we're communicating it's the smallest part of your mind it's your workhorse it's thinks feels and chooses it's not designed to work alone it has logic it has very limited wisdom but it's not designed to work alone now hold on to that thought then the bulk of who I am the depths of the circle that is not just a room it's actually this 3d infinite present past and future swirling massive of power that is on non conscious you know in not unconscious or non conscious that is your spirit level that is the level of wisdom that is where we have our intelligence or logic or creativity or imagination or intuition or inside of wisdom it's the most important part of us it is the part of us that is literally perfect made in God's image connected to the source of wisdom right wisdom has to speak to wisdom depth has to speak to depth whatever you want it so so therefore our conscious mind can't handle that level of power so there's this powerful part of us and then there's this outer part so in between there's the subconscious so the the circles the outer room is the conscious mind the the biggest part is this non conscious swirling mass where every experience we'd ever had good bad and ugly plus all the solutions because we know everything we can handle everything we just have to work to find it we have wisdom we will have to release it which is one of the reason that I think that we do ourselves an injustice when we repaint history because when you repaint history you can't trace back into why I'm reacting to certain things in certain way or why I feel the way that I do why certain people will make me afraid why I have a propensity to react violently in certain circumstances you can you can wipe it out of the books but you can't wipe it out of the epigenics it's still there it's still there it's in your it's in your non conscious so your non conscious mind has the core view of it the core view of is perfect and then we have life experiences and we have genetics so think of the core this while the prison past and future doesn't echo this beyond space and time or on non conscious is beyond space and time so correctly our history the the genetics that epigenetics that have come through as genetic traits etc that's all in non unconscious in this energy field and it's very scientific and science is spiritual two sides of the same coin and then that's so powerful and we have to be able to utilize that so if we just operate in our consciously which so many people are when you look around and see the hatred and the racism and the arguments and what's going on in our world and has gone on for since the beginning of time that is man operating only in the conscious level that is man operating without tapping into wisdom and what we're supposed to do is tap into wisdom but we can't directly tap in because it's too powerful if your non conscious mind or the mind of God connected entered you you would explode in a cotillion pieces because it's just too powerful so we have to filter so we have a subconscious which is a middle layer and that subconscious filters and slows down all this power of the prison past and future they're good to bad in the ugly the solutions and you've written and slows it down my coming to this history epigenetics so people got these things have come through the generations very that's in the non conscious and it's and as a child is conceived it passes into the genetics right and but it's as I said it's it's it's like a sealed up until it's activated now if we operate just in our conscious mind and we nurture it in a certain environment and we don't constantly tap into wisdom because not only do we have that inside of our non conscious what's happened over the generations pass our own life experiences all of this mess think of a huge forest of trees but for every toxic experience and Bishop Degas this is one of the most powerful things I'm going to say today for every toxic experience we have we have multiple solutions immediately generated that's wisdom wisdom is never just the problem it's always the solutions so you think of a toxic looking ugly tree in a forest and then you think of immediately as soon as that bords that's a toxic experience immediately sprouting up around it all these solutions what we have to do as humans is learn how to tap in and find that best solution and grow that solution and bring that into our life chapter number five healing forgiveness and breaking toxic cycles you know when you when you start talking I keep visualizing the movie the matrix you know yeah yeah and so if the the solution is within us we have to make a conscious choice yes to search for solutions rather than to bathe in dysfunction exactly you know and I don't think that we have learned to search for solutions because you have to admit that you are wrong in order to correct it and we have a tendency to self justify our behavior by relabeling, renaming, repainting, expunging from our history the things that that are distasteful when we ought to be doing this opposite looking directly at it and seeing what it is and then developer a solution for it exactly and the solutions are there what we show from the research what we show from our instinct is that when you've had a problem and you've found the solution that's been inside of you when someone comes to you with a problem you can help them you very good at health we've got the wisdom what we what we're doing in our world is and as humans exactly the things you're saying justifying numbing and blaming victimizing now I'm not saying that if someone abuse you that that's okay it's not okay we all know that's not okay but that is an experience you've had and it's inside of you and it's never going to go away but it doesn't it's wired in in this very toxic ugly way so it's always ugly rain cloud and ugly trees and ugly edges thinkable but you doesn't have to say that what next if we just bathed in that and we just justify and hate and blame and that's not going to help us again to worse whatever you think about the most will grow and become more toxic and increase your chances of getting illness in your physical body because you're hammering and batching your physical body that can't handle it so you will be more vulnerable what we have to do is make the choice to get into the garden of guess him we are using an energy we have to face the pain Jesus modeled for us exactly how we supposed to be managing our minds get in the garden face the stuff deal with it's going to cry a scream straight blow you're going to go through it all but that's part of the healing process there's a movement forward in the garden there's a processing forward eventually it gets worse before it gets better and I've done research showing that there's a whole healing journey and cycles of 63 days and it's up and down things do get worse but they do get better then you will rise with the ruins in your hands and that's what we're not doing enough of what we're doing in our world today's the pain starts let's numb it with the medication let's get a diagnosis let's label let's fight let's blame let's argue liquid throw stones lick us instead of saying let's cry together let's face us together let that's what the love really is this is so good because throughout history wherever there's been mass killings it is because we blame somebody else for a problem that we had on the inside and it's so easy to point at someone else or something else and make it the villain and even if you have had traumatic experiences to happen in your life what I and I believe in therapy I think their kids wonderful it's a great thing but if all we do in therapy is name the condition and don't go further into curing the condition and finish the whole process then the name just becomes justification for me to continue to act out you know I'm bipolar so expect that for me we have to go past that into a place of wholeness and healing and deliver through agree with that oh totally you know I'm saying it and I got goosebumps you've actually totally scientifically and science and in this I quickly want to say the science and spirituality two sides of the same coin the word science comes from the word sclero which means knowledge God is the source of all knowledge so science is simply how we understand everything about us live humans etc how the earth works etc so I just wanted to make sure that people understand that so we're not saying scientifically two sides of the same coin so essentially when you go through a trauma that experience gets wired in all the way I just explain now comes in the unconscious mind grabs that it's processed puts it into the subconscious into the body into the brain and it's now a network you know I got to stop you right there because I really want to nail this in people think that science and spirituality are opposites and opposing each other and then turn around and call God omniscient and the root word for omniscient is science so so yeah it's so so the two can be they can be congruent one with the other the problem is sometimes the people who introduce the science do it without acknowledging the spirituality but you have chosen to to walk down the path with both science and spirituality because you understand omniscience the relationship between one another am I right about absolutely since the beginning of my career it's been the most logical thing you can't separate them science and spirituality two sides of the same coin I have my most spiritual moments when I'm doing research when I'm because what am I doing I'm looking at knowledge I'm looking at omniscience I'm looking oh wow that's how this works you can see how passionate I am about this whole mind stuff when I know when I've seen with my clients my patients myself people the millions that we reach when you get a handle on what your non-conscious mind your wisdom how your mind works you start seeing and and there's it's all scientific usually you get the handle on because I'm telling you science he's tough but it's totally spiritual I'm teaching you non-conscious mind is your spirit level so non-conscious is the scientific word we can give all the science this series there's these clinical trials showing that so science and spirituality are one and the same thing with two sides of the same coin so science is the how to how does it all work and spirituality is the more philosophical this is what it kind of shows up like in our life and and how we makes us feel and the impact of of life on us I think this is what the writer met when he said that we're fearfully and marvelously made on one hand he is getting into the how to and studying the chromosomes or whatever it is that he's studying yeah but he's also tying it back to the higher power of God that in enabled that to be I'm fearfully and marvelously made I didn't just happen I just didn't grow like mold on a wall no that it was made to happen and that God is the author and the finisher of everything that exists and about him all things consists and and to find both and one person is is a bit of a novelty because I think some scientists who do have faith are ashamed to openly proclaim their faith you know how Apostle Paul was laughed at that though he was brilliant spoken multiple languages his peers resented the fact that he had faith as well and sometimes it takes courage in a roomful of scientists to introduce faith and it takes courage in in a room full of faith feel people to introduce science because we come back at the scientists with simple answers and scriptures that that negate everything some of the comments that you get back you know from people who don't go through the trouble of processing what they just heard and thinking about it with an openness of mind and I think I think that's why I keep going back to the matrix did the openness of mind to think how do these things fit together one of the things in and we're going to talk about this in a minute but one of the things I think is really interesting it's working puzzles helps deter Alzheimer's because you have to sit and think how does this fit and I find so many times people would rather be taught something and memorize it than to decode it and understand how it fits and in the process of unearthing the truth of how these things can be compatible there is a certain amount of healing and a certain amount of deliverance and a certain amount of knowing they comes from that process it couldn't be all bad if God says that he is all science omniscient it couldn't be he joined the two together and we but we don't think deeply nor are we taught to think deeply that's key yeah we're not taught to think deeply whether in class or in church we are not taught to think deeply we have a proquivity to believe this because I said it believe it because John 316 said it when they're they're there are justifiable facts that go along with what we are teaching that as validity and we don't have to cut our mind off and cut our brain off in order to be able to connect with God you know because he made us exactly will you say so many brilliant things the open mind look how often you said that would open mind when I talk about an open mind I'm talking about literally the conscious part of our mind listening to the non-conscious via the subconscious so we had these a science behind us so when we open our mind we're going to tap into wisdom we're going to think with a logic that's different to a logic where you get a scripture church you don't question that's just conscious mind you're not even touching the depth of that that's not even an attachment it's just words it's not it's not good and words are powerful but they're words that don't penetrate they don't change it for you to change you have to really what does this mean you really have to connect in to the depth so logic for example express why equals Z if you do that on a conscious level you're going to make bad decisions you're going to say that person hurt me therefore I'm a victim and I'm always going to be a victim right bad logic right yes they did hurt you yes you have been damaged yes it has impacted your life but that's not the end of the story right if you tap into the non-conscious if you tap and then you really listen to that because the spirit of God is messaged the spirit of God conscious bomb your conscious mind you'll explode as I mentioned so it's filtered through your spirit through your subconscious and signals are sent to you and you consciously become aware of things now we can choose I've played before you live and they have chosen basic things you can choose what does choose mean it means stand back it means observe the situation yes that person has got a narcissistic personality they're abusing me they've this is a terrible you do not have to be that person's affecting you sure you're going to a contact maybe an option but what one has to do at the same time is look at the that whole scenario that's happening and look at the impact on you and protect yourself and basically I've got to say this in a very very very clear way so let's say that you're going through a very traumatic situation this is real it's in your life you are a victim of a situation and that's creating all these toxic networks and affecting how you function now if you just stay in that scenario you're going to get worse you're going to have to get out of that scenario to be able to heal in order to be able to function well so this is why I very often I'm used that example of no contact because it's very all over the news at the moment in a room podcast on it and people going no contact from parents and abusive and narcissistic relationships and it's just good and bad there's been a lot of discussion around that so I'm just using that as an example for listeners so now you've got this experience of all wired into you but in as each each narcissistic experience is happening it's wired in but the solutions are wired as well it also acted as generational trauma in whatever way so there's this mess coming up in you so if you don't heal you're just going to get worse and so therefore part of the healing is you're going to have to create a bit of a bubble around you and disconnect so that means that you have to disconnect when we talk about disconnect we talk about disconnecting from what from the source like a plugging in a computer keeps it charged you want to disconnect from the source of pain so therefore it may be that you need to go no contact from that that narcissistic person and it doesn't mean that you're going to sit back in the space and blame that person forever right you can acknowledge the impact you can say this is what was wrong this is what they did to me this is not good but I disconnect I release right so I'm getting compassion for myself and in a way I'm having compassion for them but not compassion that allows them to continue using me compassion that says they are doing that because of but they because of is not my problem anymore right they must fix themselves up icon but I have to work on me others I am going to carry this through to my kids to other people in my environment I have to heal myself that is wisdom then in that space you can then choose to tune in to that level of wisdom that then helps you stand back and observe and say okay this is the impact on my life how am I going to do the what next research the subject research I've done research other people have done show that when you acknowledge the trauma that you get into that place where you disconnect it's called disentangle missing quantum physics where you literally cut the ties past the plug release forgive whatever what you want to do but your problem they that's bad what they did we're not excusing but I'm just I keep stressing that I don't want people to think I'm having compassion and it's it's an excuse for that person to continue know when I'm saying is that that person needs to work on their own stuff you need to work on your own stuff or you're going to start doing maybe something similar or you go ahead fall apart or you're going to impact others so you disconnect and that literally scientifically disconnects that person from you forgiveness or release whatever you want to call it cuts that energy source you pull out the plug now you can create an environment where you can tune into the wisdom of the non-conscious now my conscious can hear what is the way to move forward I think there's too dangerous here I think there's a danger of first of all forgiveness does not mean that you have earned or I can forgive you but that doesn't mean that that gives you proximity to me exactly okay that that that that's the first thing second thing is if I don't get it out of me I will recreate it in my next relationship exactly because it is still a part of me it's still connected to me so getting it out of me is to to concentrate like flim up out of me I got to get it out of me so that I can get well and go on with my life whether you choose to get it out or not that's up to you I can't get it out for you and that's something I think a lot of people don't understand they love so hard that they want to fix the person exactly you can't fix and you can't do that you can stand by this side you can give them every tool in the book and all the support and the still their choice but that's where you have to get started and you say such a good thing then that it you oh it is going to impact other people and this is we what we circling back to earlier on what you were saying is that people kind of get into this victim mentality and and we've talked about you know the what next we have to process through we can't just keep talking about you see like in therapy is good and etc but you can't just keep bringing it up I like in that to flying a plane the pilots have to prepare the plane if they just prepare the plane and do nothing else you go nowhere a lot of people are breathing meditating saying they're prayers but they're not going anywhere then there's people that are doing that preparation but they're taking off the pilot takes off next but that's I feel like this and there's all the awareness there's all the talk about but then they don't process then they crash as well we have to prepare we have to take off we have to fly flying has got three stages use the first part is where you actually why am I in the state the third part is a third second part of flying once you're flying or processing is to then see what else is this connected to you know what are the generational things what are the other areas of my life what is the impact how is this then the four things okay these are the patterns I can't change what's happened but I can't change how it plays out into my future then you can land with an action and start making those changes that's what's missing well I love about what you say and it's something that I think is often missing from the pull bits in America we misallocate all the responsibility for our healing to God yes and we step back and remain innocent and and and our innocence is complicit to our to our deliverance because we don't understand I like to like it is really why I name this next chapter I have the first time God huge out the stone and wrote the tinker mammoths on the stone the second time he told Moses to you out the stone and then he wrote on the stone it was more collaborative and I think the deeper we get with God we have to get to the point that we understand that we have a responsibility that faith with our works is dead and we know a lot about the faith but we've not been taught about the what am I supposed to do what am I supposed to do choose to bring about the greater healing that I want every end my life I love that you like that you like that can I know there are no other things you want to discuss with addiction if we love like that I'm going to link like that almost to addiction if you love like that you're living in that conscious room only and you're only intermittently tapping into wisdom but that's very unsatisfactory so it doesn't satisfy you you are as a human be deep right we brilliant right we need to think things we need to experience sadness and happiness we need to learn and we need to not see failure as the end failures how can we learn we're supposed to be learning to operate in love and that's a hard journey we're in a world that says oh you feel bad take a drug oh you feel bad it's something wrong with your brain it's always blaming something there's always giving it's an outsourcing it's insourcing it's in you sure we have to deal with the physical thank goodness for medicine we have to deal with the physical impact of high blood pressure high cholesterol all these things that happen when we don't manage our mind and we must come back to the old times thing as well we mustn't forget because I want to say something about that but ultimately you have to fix it from your mind your mind is 99% that's where the work starts that's where the peace will come that's where we'll find the solutions to move forward that requires going through the pain first going through that healing journey people don't want to go through the healing journey you're just going to land up fighting being a victim or being unhappy or getting caught up in in in the wrong things and the wrong thinking and then they become addicted to let me say a scripture let me grab that drink let me pretend I'm fine performative society that we live in that's an addiction that performative society I'm okay you're not okay it's just a show you're just living in the outer conscious and deep down inside you're broken you're depressed because you're not tapping into the non-conscious and exploring that and one of the ways to know that you are addicted to work is when you go on vacation and you're calm and you are miserable you're the first three or four days you're walking around you need a fix you need a fix you need a fix and you don't realize how addicted you are and then you come down and you're emotional and you're weeping in any say I'm never going to do that to myself again and then if you're not careful you go back and do it to yourself again all over again just repeat the cycle living in a conscious mind-vangal you consider the non-conscious conscious mind-vangal you conscious mind without the non-conscious mind is like living a toddler loose right and that's a thing of leading a toddler loose what will happen you've got grandchildren you've got to watch them all the time right and so we we supposed to this this is what praying continuously is it's getting your non-conscious your conscious mind I choose to listen to the depths which means then I'm getting listening to the real depth you know listening to you know I'm saying you're seeing that doorway and I think a lot of I addictive patterns for my research working with people with drug addictions alcoholism and all that kind of thing and whether it's not those extremes it could just be addicted to addicted to saying scripture over and over all shopping I mean all scrolling on your phone yeah those are patterns of conscious mind-vangal loops that they've got stuck in that are creating these temporary highs creating a temporary fix in the body the body is 1% of your e-obit when we get caught in a conscious mind-vangal with out the non-conscious we get sucked into the physical and we rely on that meanwhile that's only 1% you've got to train ourselves to stuck in stuck there and train ourselves to learn to love the non-conscious the spiritual and that requires a change inside it you're coming down my street nap because uh some people are are naturally relaxed and some people are naturally aggressive I am by nature aggressive and we'll book myself and work myself and go on and on and on and on and on and on and my wife has to drag me about my ear like to the principal's office to give me to the vacation and then once I get there about the third day I'm so glad I was there when I come back into my world and it's already got the rhythm when I get off the plane it's already the wheel is already turning like a hamster what I have learned I might not can jump up and go to Hawaii every time I need to but I can take many vacations I can I can take a spa treatment I can go golfing I can take a walk just just a 30 minute walk has a way of just just detoxing your mind where you put too much on your mind and you need to unfog and clear yourself up do you think that's effective oh absolutely so what you're talking about is the cascade of intrusive thoughts that grab us on the one hand and then the the busyness of life so now I want to answer this in two parts the cascade we can talk about in a moment I want to come back to that um the way that you work out work the same sort of way now that's I'm gonna say the sun's gonna sound confusing but here what I'm saying it's a good thing to work we are designed as humans to do a lot we're supposed to we brilliant we just not very balanced sometimes you're so balanced and that's the that's the key thing they're back with the more you get into the non-conscious mind which you'd operating all the time literally the more you need to satisfy that depth because it's an endless put so therefore your relaxation could be lying in on the beach in a while in the beautiful environment ever it is and reading deeply spread or listening to pot it doesn't mean you have to just empty you know you can't ever into your mind because you're not going to you that that hunger will not be satisfied um then the other thing is in that in the war whatever you can you that's as important so I'll actually advocate to people every literally every hour you should take a vacation every hour of the day now one to two minutes what's a vacation one to two minutes I call it a thinker moment where you literally switch off to the external switch onto the internal take turns to the depth of your unconscious those thoughts that are swirling around come up and you can sort of gain corral corralling them and getting older it's where we give ourselves a chance to reboot and restore and that does amazing things in our brain and our body but it's a mind decision it's a mind decision to connect the conscious with the non-conscious but think the other thing that we have to watch out for uh we have a tendency to date and or marry people who are our opposite secretly hoping that they will save us from ourselves uh but but i'm too heavy to drag and some point I have to go willingly and and submit myself and not make my problem her problem to fix exactly we can share and help each other which we know yeah so it's being able to bounce off each other and to have the topic plan what happens I think where people get you so quick people try and fix each other now opposites do work that they maybe don't work it's the mindset your perception is king how are you coming into this relationship but it applies to even to Alzheimer's to anything how you view something influences how you how much connection you get with the non-conscious how well your physiology functions so therefore if you in a relationship expecting something to fix you already the perceptions wrong it's not gonna work and it's going to create a lot of problems where we do help each other is when we can learn to listen to each other and go through the entire process so for example if you have a lot of anxiety coming up and you wake up in the morning and there's a lot of anxiety coming up to be able to share with your spouse and get those those words out and whatever those thoughts are get those thoughts out but not just hang around there if you keep them there this quite important if you just keep them say them and you don't do anything they go back into a non-conscious stronger than before and you've missed the solution so that's where we can bounce off each other and say okay that's what you said what are you going to do about it what else comes up what is your reconceptualization what's your action and that's where we can help each other but you still can't make about the person do it no if we became better at listening to to tell people do you suggest to people yeah how you're going to see this differently this is what's happening what are you going to do about this by asking that sort of question and maybe making a couple of suggestions you activate the exploration of the solution I think another thing that's important is to get the thought out and not just the rage exactly because the rage is only part of the day yes you got to get the thoughts out most you got to attack the issue and not the individual exactly and a lot of times we make somebody who who loves us the most the whipping post for things that we don't even talk about the thing that's really bothering us no we just vent the rage like a hot water tank that's exactly what the art actually just exploding out which brings us bishop to what is a thought yeah because we think thousands of thoughts every day we both thousands of thoughts and if we don't manage those thoughts they do become this exploding rage as you just explained and then that puts and we do it with people that we trust the most and that comes up with you know with them sort of think so a thought is an experience so this is an experience we're having now so this thing brought into a thought a thought is a cluster of memories and it has emotions and data details and every single thing that we experience becomes a thought so we put trillions upon trillions of thought and those thoughts are constantly growing and getting new information added so when we talk about getting a thought out we are talking as soon as it out as soon as we express it verbally we connect the conscious with the non-conscious now we can analyze it and we can say okay that has happened this is not working that's good this is bad how can I see this differently this is a shift instead of I didn't get this done now can get this done whatever whatever it may be you can redesign it's the what next this is what I was talking about earlier on and that's where epigenetics and all this comes in the step from the research that what you do with what you have experienced is more important than just talking about what you've experienced is what are you going to do next chapter number six Alzheimer's fear and neuroplasticity you know which which is a good lead in to the whole thing about Alzheimer's Alzheimer's is not necessarily a woman's disease so there's a preponderance of women who have it in particular who black women the stats are very very high on them having Alzheimer's and I think it is because you're always having the plan always having the figure always having to do and I found at least in my own finding my mother died of Alzheimer's so it's a very dear and important thing to me some of the brightest people end up with Alzheimer's Ronald Reagan look at some of the brightest thought leaders end up with with Alzheimer's and I'm wondering sometimes if we don't take those breaks if we don't realize that there's more to us than what we learned and what we read or what we do or the cause we believe in no matter how important it is kind of like compassion fatigue you you run out of intelligence fatigue you you you run out and all of a sudden it that's how it looks from the outside there may not be how it goes from inside the doctor my mother's doctor explained it to me this way he said your mother will lose her immediate thoughts first like peeling an onion and he says every onion is a layer of memory and she'll finally peel past you and the reason she won't recognize you is that she's peeled to a place where she no no longer remembers you and before it was over she was down the baby talk and it was very very it's it's almost harder on the family than it is on on the patient uh what's going on with this epidemic of Alzheimer's I mean we always had it but we didn't always have a name for it and it wasn't as prevalent as it is now and why do you think it's more prevalent amongst like women than it is right women I want you to listen up at this because if you're not subject to it you may end up subject to it and if you're not subject to it somebody in your family isn't and you cannot help with something that you do not understand so check this out okay so now I need to tap into my non-conscious wisdom to give you the best answer I can everything I've set up till now plays into this this situation okay so first of all only 10% of the world's population according to research will actually get one of the dimensions so 90% won't and that's probably overestimated it's probably less than 10% we're much more aware of it and we much so that it feels like it's more so that's a very big key factor because there's a message that's going out that it's inevitable that as you age you're going to get cognitive decline as you age you're going to get cognitive decline it will end up being dementia and it starts us oh my gosh this is going to happen so this tremendous fear in society currently around the dementia so which is probably a self-propelling prophecy totally because we know that fear has an energy that and I'm not talking about weird stuff I'm talking about brain little brain waves that has a fear is a toxic thought and that is oh my gosh if the status and all the things that you've described it's terrifying so if you build that you as you experience it that's become a thought and as you fear it gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and what do you think about the most grows and what ever and those toxic thoughts which objects the things that cause the brain to break down and the body to break down of toxic thoughts so unmanaged years of unmanaged toxic stress unmanaged trauma undult with issues not knowing how to process the world around you bold bold bold and weakened it's not a fabric neurofiberary tangles on the planks because we've seen people in 110 who have terrible lives who full of those those at those drugs don't work either to try and break it doesn't really change it they don't know biologically they cannot really pinpoint so they've diet exercise yes all these things contribute but the most important thing is how are you looking and how are you managing your mind and in managing your mind starts with your grandchildren your two-year-old is how are you what are we teaching or children how are we teaching them so it starts there but if you are already would ever age you at how old are you for some objective I may ask you 68 okay so and my mom just out of recently Parkinson's and had dementia with it as well so I'm 63 now it doesn't mean that you and I are going to get that right if we live with the current philosophy that oh my gosh your chances now are very strong I refuse that because I know that the fear is worse than the potential the potential has to it's the cocoon it has to be opened up I have to get let that ugly thing out but I can choose not to so how I manage my mind is absolutely essential now people that are brilliant that have got old times like you mentioned we don't know what they did in their time managing the people people are great at putting on a show yeah but what are you doing when you wake up at three in the morning that's what I'm interested in right that is your source of um of where you'll break down your brain or body occur because one thing we need to keep clear is the non-conscious mind is perfect it doesn't get messed up the conscious mind the brain and the body those get messed up so in someone's search you to if I make it go the conscious mind and brain and body those get damaged in something like a dementia the non-conscious is never damaged and this is why when people this is why we need to also understand eternal research that it's not that that this research showing that 99.9% sure that the the the mind spirit exists beyond the the physical that she as the body disintegrates the spirit and soul reintegrate so therefore Alzheimer's dementia's do not touch that part of the mind they touch the conscious room and they touch the physical but that's because they have been not been working like they should and yes diet exercise play a role but the biggest role is how we are managing our mind and it's never too late I've worked with people that have already got full on Alzheimer's okay they've at different stages one of the fronter temple dementia's a one of them and what we've managed to do if one does the exercises and you really stimulate the brain you can arrest for a certain extent and you can prevent it from getting worse if you do nothing it will just get worse quicker but you can if people are starting to show early signs in these so we think we are seeing people in the 30s when I started practicing yes we saw this in 85 years right now we've seen this as young as in 35 and even we even see signs of cognitive now we know this is attributed a lot to the psychiatric drugs and things that causes damage in the brain so it's a conscious mind and the brain starts to become compromised the vulnerabilities to things like one of the dementia's will start to to potentially happen but because of neuroclasticity which is the ability that we have with our mind to change these networks in the brain on the body we can do a lot of preventive work I don't think people know that they have the power no they don't themselves to retrain we were the way that they handle you can't you can't handle what's thrown at you but you can handle how you catch it that's it that's it you exactly and you're still always going to have if you think of that network of whatever toxic issue in your past or whatever you've got a lot you they never go away but they instead of them being this massive ugly first think of them shrinking in size and becoming smaller you remember your child becomes your testimony you remember versus power you take the power out of it and that's what we need to be doing the most important thing we need to be teaching ourselves is what is the mind how do I use my mind it's just not being taught correctly so if you use your mind just with the outer room the conscious mind with only intermittent interconnection with deep thinking and mind with acting mind management we will see an increase in the mental we will see people AI we talked about it before we started filming that AI is very useful but already research is showing that if you are going to outsource your deep thinking to AI your brain is going to change structure it's going to shrink I did some of the earliest work in neuroplasticity in the world back in the late 80s where it wasn't even a thing yet it was really new and I showed that people with traumatic brain damage that were non-functional became functional got university degrees and and in between neuropastocities or ability that we have with the superpower of our mind to manage our mind and they for change all these networks if you don't change a network what does a network do and a network is this cloud network proteins gene genes all these things those networks drive you so if I'm toxic and toxic networks and I'm not choosing to wire them out so I'm living in that conscious mind brain loop I am increasing my vulnerability to anything that's either including the dementia and once again only 10% of people look into the WHO and various other studies will get full on dementia so 90% aren't but that number is creeping up but we shouldn't even have 10%. You see my point there we shouldn't even have 10% at that in that stage and I think in a relationship I think men could do a better job of listening you know sometimes a person just needs to vent they don't need you to fix it exactly they just need you to get it out and I don't think that we always understand that my mother and I would go for long walks and she would talk and do different things and and we would communicate and we had a very she she talked me all through every stage stuff but it was like you know she said the only thing they got hold on me was it was my body and she would tell me how she was feeling and when the numbness and that was coming over her and shen losing the ability to swallow food she she she talked me all the way through it she she told me if my mother had lived if my mother had the kind of care you gave me she would probably be alive now I said your your mother would be 120 she said oh shut up and she still had a sense of you know and and all of that my greatest birthday was my 49th birthday because my father died when he was 48 so these kinds of things can haunt you and I want to jump spiritual for a moment and say that Satan is the accuser of the brother and and it's not disaccusing you of going to hell he's accusing you that you are bound and determined to have what your mother had what your father had your life's man is going to be cut off then many of us live with a shadow over our lives that we might not get to the place that we really need to be how can we begin early to rethink and replan maybe it's replanning for me replanning you know not planning on a casket has been very helpful you know planning old because when you when you don't see someone get old in front of you you have no mentor and you don't know how to do it and so I see people 30 years old who think their life is over in 30 you know a lot of that yeah I see somebody 40 years old and they think their life is over in 40 they do not realize that you're just coming into your own you just get your head together they don't understand the the future is ahead of you my one of my favorite scriptures if you allow me to share oh well when Jacob was gathered around the bed and he was getting ready to die man and he told Benjamin he said Benjamin you should rather than as a wolf in the morning you should devour the prey and then in the evening you should divide the spoils so he's saying when you're young take on the giants he said but as you get older your job is to divide the spoils of what you did in your youth and I think that's very important that we do not waste our most energetic vibrant vivacious youth in frivolity and then get to the time that we are most vulnerable and be the less equipped and less adept at being able to divide the spoils so I think I I kind of I love that I love that so much and it's so scientific because we know it's precious what I love about that's what you just described with that scripture is the fact that in as we are in our youth and growing and I know you asked me a question earlier on but if I may comment quickly on is we we think with a lot of as we are younger we think with more detail focus and then as we get older more conceptual because you've got all these existing experiences that have become these networks of thoughts that guide you and so you need both you need both so essentially when we are when if you look at our world as a changes with each generation our current generation is very consumed with the messaging of if you have an amends this early on if you have something anything anything in that said or difficult there's something wrong with you and your brain now we know from the research that the minute you tell someone that someone gets a perception they're going to get worse so the the hope that we you say talk about people and being sad at 30 and 40 and 20 and there's got their whole life ahead of them there's a strong message saying well why is there even any purpose and it's one of those things because I work with a lot of Gen Alpha and talk the lot Gen Z and there's things well what's the point of it all and it we so we keep we have come with a messaging in the last 40 50 years of if you've got very very a physicalist a materialistic a materialistic view instead of an idealistic and philosophical view which is both very scientific and a materialistic view says well this is it and if you have that emotion you've got this brain disease this is it for the rest of your life you're going to get the mention you're going to die what's the point you know there's there's the hope has been removed and so when you constantly take away if you if you have a constant focus on just the biology you've got to eat this do that not that I'm and all of those are important but the mind we're not teaching I think what I'm trying to say is we're not teaching enough about the mind we haven't spent enough time like the philosophers of old the in the Jesus in the temple sitting talking we need to be talking that older generation with the young generation we need to be talking about life we need to be thinking exploring like Socrates did like that's what's missing we just it's very quick fix productive be productive something strong take a tablet do this exercise take that supplement that's not the solution it's a tiny tiny tiny percentage of a patine the biggest solution we're missing and until we start addressing that we're not going to be able to get our thoughts under control we need to be teaching us our kids when all these thoughts come up this is what's happening this is not you this is because of so because you've got a broken brain it's because you've gone through stuff it's not you let's find the because of let's rewire that it's used near direct neuropastocity let's rewire those networks that prevents Alzheimer's that controls illnesses in the body that stops the wars and the fighting to take it really philosophical because now I look at the human as a human I look at as a human as having an experience and I'm more tuning to myself so I can choose you see what I'm saying it invites connection and communication which we thrive on the moment we're creating disconnect we're creating a bunch of physical machines that are broken that need parts being added and taken away that's just going to create roofay and disconnection chapter number seven addiction rejection and rewriting your story listen this is not the sort of thing that you can just listen to youtube and walk away you need to download the podcast and play this over and over and over again this is not the kind of conversation where I heard it I got it I'm through with it at different moments in your life you have to remind yourself of truth in order to find the balance in order to find balance you have to find the center and you're going to you I want you to use this not as entertainment but to use it as medicine planted in your car going to a job that gets on your nerves going over to see your in laws going to a Thanksgiving dinner and you and your mother-in-law don't get I want you to use this as a prescription for the soul and we're getting ready to take on an issue that is changing in America and that is the issue of alcohol I've read a very important article where the sales of alcohol in this country were dropping for the first time since its legalization and and I think though there are no commercials that I have seen on TV promoting getting away from alcohol social media is loaded with information about the dangers of alcohol to the brain would you address that a little well you know this is great because this is where social media is great for you we got knowledge we've got power and I mean just this morning I was reading a study about how you know to eat the problems that alcohol causes in the gut and there's been so much and that's just one and increases your chance of cancer we know there's so much research now we know that alcohol changes of physiology and alcohol drunk with the wrong reasons makes it worse so literally that every for every the by the alcohol substance the actual substance on mindset will make it even more dangerous to nobody or not so in other words your perception is is king how your mindset is around your thoughts what you thinking so if you're drinking to suppress an emotion you have more you'll have more damage in your body if you're drinking to not face something and you're drinking to escape those are very big look at the mind is 99% as I've been saying so then the impact of that alcohol is going to be a hundred times worse and if you're just having exactly self-medicating drinking with the wrong reasons as social drink now then it's not going to hurt you but it's it's the way that alcohol has been it's it's insidious we're not talking about addiction it's not a disease and alcohol as a addiction and and these signs a lot of signs behind that alcoholism is often sold as a disease that you can't control the minute you tell someone they can't control something they can't control it because they but we're in a network that they think they can't control it so the first thing we have to break is that if people have got caught up in using alcohol in a nautics way is to recognize that that's not who you are it's not a pattern for the rest of your life it has it does change the wiring in the brain in the body it does have an impact it does increase vulnerability because the nature of alcohol is counter to the way that our biology works so a small amount of body can deal with large amounts going to mess up your body but you add the mindset to that you make it even worse so addiction is a using something to suppress a toxic thought a bunch of intrusive thoughts that you just can't deal with that are just flying all over your head so you look over something to none so from that sense that's that's not a good thing to do and that lands up creating these changes and we told that it's it's hijacked the addictive part in the brain your brain doesn't have an addictive part or your brain can't think your brain doesn't generate your brain simply stores data the thing that's generating is the mind so the conscious mind has the addictive pathway and codes that into the brain and if one is drinking alcohol for the wrong reasons that is a pathway that's set up associated with the alcohol and therefore then the entire circuitry a mind brain body the whole cycle in your biology that's impacted and change so I'm stressing the mind is more important social drinking now then it's not going to hurt anyone but if you really messed up and you really aren't dealing with your stuff and all of us are messed up but if you not dealing with your stuff if you're not processing if you're not giving in that garden and dealing with it that alcohol is going to make it worse and your body is going to be more vulnerable to the impact of the alcohol so your chances of increasing the impact of what alcohol could cause from cancer you name it is increased dramatically by how you're managing your mind now once people manage their mind I mean I work with people with alcohol addiction and so on once they start managing their mind and finding the source of why am I drinking in this way why do I have this mindset when I drink why am I reaching for that drink once you find that then you rewire that you reconceptualize that you go to the process beyond the what next the desire to drink changes the way they drink changes the way they sink while they drink changes well you think while you drink is very important for every breath that you breathe in that's an alcohol that's that is talk about breathing I just to give you an analogy those those are oxygen molecules now we breathe to keep us alive we know but if I'm worked up and I'm breathing do you know that my worked happiness that's mind stuff it's thought it's in it attaches itself to that breath so I breathe in more trauma I breathe in more work type I get more worked up so even when we breathing that's how fundamental mind is Bishop James is not just the alcohol but even while breathing what you old age if you worry about getting Alzheimer's you increase your chance of getting Alzheimer's by sick I think it's some of 1868 and 94 percent our perception on mind is driving all of it so I know with diversity if I better try to link it back to alcohol yes it's dangerous it's all good for us you know you know when you start talking about the stimuli that creates a response of alcoholism one of those stimuli is rejection oh definitely yeah knowing how to deal with rejection and not allowing a person to pronounce a deaf sentence on you just because they reject to do the job reject to do the long company rejected you but most importantly your spouse or your date or your children we're living in a time now that children are writing off their entire families sometimes they've been assaulted they've got good reason to have complexities and things like that other times we write we write things hard things are all so easily so easily that it diminishes the value that you later need in life you you you write off your children and then there's nobody to check on you in the hospital you you write off your children and Mother's Day becomes a day of misery for you you write off your children and and there's no laughter in your house and there's a sadness inside of you as if you were worthless or if somebody writes you off their their decision to write you off will often leave you feeling worthless how do how do we manage that sort of thing so you you touching on something so important that's also been around since the beginning of time where problems have occurred between families but because of social media the age we live in now it's much more we're much more aware of all of these things that in the dark all come everything okay so the rejection at all these things that there's many reasons why people want to cut off people in their lives and we gave the narcissistic explanation earlier on for someone who's being abused whatever the key thing here is if you don't know yourself people don't know themselves anymore we're so in the performative hassle culture this is who you should be this is what the church says you should be this is so externalized as I said earlier until we focus back on the internal when we know who we are and we are comfortable with being sad and crying being honest and open this tolerance because everyone's messing up you know everyone there's some people maybe it's it you don't have to as you see if someone's impacting you and abusing you you have to be safe and you have to protect yourself and that kind of thing but we have to work on ourselves it does start with ourselves it does start with really understanding maybe you do create that space of isolation but because of if I may for moments with parents if if because of the fact that of the bond of a parent and a child that that very it's so so big and so strong that and then abuse happens it's so distorted so that network is in the brain we can actually even see and in the body we all see the changes in the hormones in the teleneers which are the ins of DNA often researched with teleneers showing how they how they change and they you can you can lose biological age you can be your organs can be so damaged from tumor and things like that that you actually have to go to a period of separation etc to heal the physical will you heal the emotional the thing though is that then bond is so tight that as the distortion happens and this distorted network of fatigue teleneers and all these things is built in and you get all the reactions there's a very weird mix of a realization when you do cut off of wow this is I've got a scene to piece now I can start to heal but then you grieving so you holding these can't it feels like sorrow and relief at the same time and we don't know how to deal with it because we don't talk about it enough it's okay to have sorrow and relief what I often say to my clients and my patients when I was the practicing and what I say to myself what I write about and what we may have read about and who is the fact that you can hold what seemed to be contradictory emotions at the same time so when I can accept that I am grieving because this child or this parent has chosen a pathway of whatever and it's so unnatural and it's broken and they're reacting whatever that whatever that looks like I can grieve that and I can grieve and so they do that obviously for there because of everyone's got to be caused off and and and and I can see all of that but at the same time it's impacted me I'm destroyed or whatever I'm skipping the example I'm sad I'm depressed I'm anxious all the time we can hold both of those at the same time and even when we're healing we can hold both of those so as we as we move into a point of potentially going no contact for a while it doesn't mean it has to be that way forever sometimes it does have to be if it's an abusive situation and the other person doesn't do the work if the other person doesn't do the work you not say if you have to but if they do do the work and what very often happens is once you start doing the work on yourself you change and that very often is a sign to people see that and then they start to do the work on themselves and they change but there's a while that's happening there's this tremendous conflict so there's a network that's the bond of the parent and a child or whatever then there's the network of on top of that that's the distorted network of this relationship that's gone wrong then there's this decision which is another thought network on top of it so it's becoming very complicated now of I have to heal I have to disconnect and now that thing all of this meshed up together generates this combination of sorrow and and relief at the same time and there's this calling and this aching and therefore that's it's a process and you may ache for the rest of your life you learn to some things we just learn to have we learn to sort of live with them over time because if that person never changes maybe they die by suicide maybe they whatever the ache is there right it'll stay there but that at least so there's that sort of separation that happens but this is where eternal perspective is so important but you're objects because we need to realize that while we on this earth it's a drip in the ocean there's a lot more than just on this earth whatever people believe I know your follows do believe in eternal life is that that's so important we have to see this in context what ever paying you going through what ever paint someone else is going through is is a drip in the ocean we have to do our best to make sure we are operating in love and finding who we are and releasing that perfect you in us and even if it means what doesn't mean the tears are going to stop they're still going to come you still going to experience all the emotions it's part of what you have to do as a human but that's only a tiny drop in the ocean one day we will have clarity we will have restoration of relationship I truly believe that and from us it workers the scientist 99.9% research confirms that there is once the physical goes there is this life beyond consciousness exists beyond that and in that stake realm heaven is all around us whatever that looks like if we don't hear a little this earth it will there will be a time we can so it's to contextualize I know I've seen a lot and it's deep stuff in each concept of segments a few hours to unpack I'm trying to give sort of a big picture no but you're doing a great job I'll close with this this comment and end over question a lot of times and this is not true of all cases of rejection but a lot of times early in our lives we are Superman is superwoman and we have a tendency to draw to us people who need us but in the process of drawing to ourselves people who need us we develop a co-dependent relationship with them because we need to be needed because it validates our own insecurity and then they fool around in one chapter the like they really needed you and the next chapter of their life they get healed I call it fall in love with your nurse and all of a sudden you found yourself in a situation where you are not needed in the same way and you resent the fact that they're getting better and and you don't know how to develop a relationship with a well person because it does not strike your ego your insecurity that sort of thing it could be possible that you were rejected not because you were not well but because the person that you're attached to needed your unwellness in order to feel whole and feel important so let's not look at it in a microscope let's back it up and look at it in a telescope and begin to understand that there are a lot of variables that go into these kinds of relationships where you end up in relationships where you the person needed you to be an imbiblet there's case after case after case of people who stayed together as long as their head cancer as long as they were sick or as long as they were crippled they got well and all of a sudden the thrill was gone and it seems like it would be the opposite but it's not always the case am I right about that oh my goodness totally so all of the such you just described that is a toxic thought that's happened so that person who has developed a code of interagretenation ship in feeling needed the need to feel needed something happened in there the way we show up is because of there's a because of behind that need so there's a whole toxic thought that has been satisfied incorrectly by actually another toxic situation so all the green trees of the solution how we should be you know using the forest analogy from earlier on haven't been tapped into so what one has done in that situation is as one has cared for the person in the code of interrelationship and it satisfied something in you it seemed good actions but actually the source so the source was fed so it grew big and big and bigger so when the person was healed there's this massive gap and that's where there's often a lot of anger and so on so that that person has they have to go and do the work they have to go and capture that thought and renew their mind they have to go through that entire fly the brain process and that'll take 63 days when I've shown at my work Bishop Jake says that to rewire a network takes at least 63 days not the 21 that most people think because it's become a network which is established it's a habit it's a way it's a pattern a thought pattern and that has to be rewired and this example would be that case as someone heals and then move on and I you've got this anger all you move on whatever because it's not satisfying it's not feeding the toxic it's a tiny bear because you have to face it and rewire it but there is that's one of the definitely same sort of concept it's the toxic so it could occur dependency torment bonding anything toxic in you that you're using someone else to help you manage and it feels like it's good because it's kind of feeding it but you actually feeding the toxicity yeah because that the celebration of their healing or whatever is not there when they healed you feel it's not so therefore it was toxic and so you've got to do the work on you it's torment binding all that kind of yeah maybe maybe it's not that you love the person you love the way they make you feel exactly which is feeding their toxic issue like that or so why do you need that that's what you've got to work on you've got to you've got to do that why do I need this where is this coming from what is the source once you know the source you can then rewire so it's deconstructing the network and reconstructing the network and that's essentially what mind management is it's kind of the summary of everything we've been saying Dr. Carolyn Leif is an aclas all by herself I don't know what happened to my notes I just went everywhere I just just you've a great way but I don't think this is just about notes are prescripting something I think it's I think it's deeper than that I think it's got giving you an opportunity maybe to get a session you couldn't afford and I'm going to ask Dr. Leif to just pray for you in just a moment we covered a lot of things all of it didn't fit you you can have all of that at the same time but something did something brought tears to your eye something unearthed something that was buried and this has been my con archaeologist digging it up and washing it off so that you might be made hold let's not miss this opportunity to ask the presence of the Holy Spirit to guide you to the things that were said that are most prevalent to you and to show you what we didn't have time to say to begin to heal and to mend and to go to the furthest extent of all that you're able to do and I dare you to just just just believe I'm not asking you to be perfect I'm not asking you to make a vow of commitment I'm just asking you with child like wave to believe that it's possible to have a next chapter and you're like would you pray for it? Absolutely I beg your honor thank you my biggest prayer God is that every person listening to us will understand the superpower that you've given us the mind that you take the time to really get into understanding that 99% of you we are and recognition of the stability that we have to think, feel and choose which is the currency of the mind I know this is a hard concept but help help help it to become a simple concept that people can absorb because once we understand that power that you place within us and we start tuning in and using our minds correctly that is when we change and when we change the world changes it just takes one person to make a difference Amen. Listen we just scrape the surface of an exhaustive conversation that I want you to continue to have not only through this podcast but accessing her materials, personalizing, working with her, filling out workbooks right on the side of the page, taking notes or sharing it with a friend or a child who desperately needs it and I'm going to ask her to tell you how to get in. Thank you Bishop James well this DrLift.com is my website and everything is on them all the social media platforms but what I've got are if you want like almost like therapy per se I've got courses that will teach you how to do these very deep philosophical things in very simple practical steps as a therapist I had to develop very simple steps so there's a course call between 21-day brandy talks course there's a course call to help in a hurry course I also have an app that's available on iTunes and Google Play and that takes you through the it's a five-step process called the neuropsycho which is how you manage your mind I keep talking about mind management so the neuropsycho is like the formula that you can use over the 63 days so there's an app I have books that explain this I have a podcast lots of different places social media where you can also find other tips I know that helps you it helped me and I want you to have a next chapter and I want you to live it to the fullest and enjoy it to maximum capacity and that you might have life and have it more abundantly I want to thank you for sharing all of your rich information with us and your rich experience with us we are better having set with you thank you thank you for everything that you bring to the table I learned so much you drag you you get you get my non-conscious very activated so thank you that's good you've been listening at my next chapter make sure you have one if you don't like the chapter you're in turn the page grab the pin you do have the power to rewrite what happens next hey everybody I want to take this time to thank you for watching the next chapter podcast if this conversation inspired you helped you reflect on an idea or spark something new inside of you make sure to like comment and subscribe so you don't miss future episodes remember life isn't about how you begin it's about how you finish strong so start your next chapter with us right here every week