Heather Shaw From Jim Carrey Doppelgänger to Comedy Queen

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It's Heather Shaw and welcome to Juicest scoop for the first time. Hello, Heather's. I never meet a Heather. This is nice. You don't? I don't ever meet Heather's. Where are they? You are a little bit, okay. I always joke that our name is gonna become like Gertrude. It is. But you're younger than I am. Yeah, but not, I'm 58. No, I'm in 38. So I'm like a little bit of like, cause I feel like the majority of Heathers are like. Where are they? They're in. Traylor Parks. No, they're like my age. Okay, it's like the 70s, 80s. Yeah. A little bit. Yeah, the 80s, baby. I have been trying to encourage young women to name their children Heather and bring it back. Make it hot. Make Heather's hot for generations to come. I don't think it's happening. I think, I saw on TikTok, somebody said that Heather's an old name. And I was like, fair. I was like, I never meet Heathers. I love it. You're like the second Heather ever. Well, thank you. You and Locklear. What's your middle name? Alitha. Good luck. I don't know. My mom is on drugs, I think. I don't know. That's an interesting middle name. Alitha. I thought it was Alicia and I had a list. But I'm like, no, it's Alitha. I think it's English or white. Like Abiza. Yeah, exactly. A bathalona. Yeah. That's what my middle name is. It's like bathalona. I'm like Hilaria Baldwin. Yeah. Where do you hail from? Well, I'm from upstate New York. Okay. I've lived all over. And now I'm in Louisville, Kentucky. Get me out. I'm trying to convince my wife to move to California. And so you are a lesbian? Yeah, fully. I'm out, baby. You are a gold star late in life. What are you? No, I always knew I was gay, but I would bang guys. Okay, good for you. You know, I like the unit. Don't like what's attached to it. All right. But it's a good, you know, I'm a penis friend. And when did you realize like, I think I want to go full, full gay and just be with a woman and have a happy life? Well, I always knew. I knew that was going to play out. Like in first grade, I was like, oh, I'm a lesbian. Did you tell anyone? I didn't have to. My siblings are gay too. So we're very gay. How many kids are there? My parents are so disappointed. Yeah. How many? Three. Older sister, younger brother, me in the middle. Gay. Singing so tunes. And are the parents straight? The parents are straight. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Are you sure? They make kids. Yeah. They're like, they're committed to the straight life. They're breeders. Okay, so when did you realize that you were funny? Or like you wanted to make this a career because you're a great standup comic. You have your first standup special debuting May 15th, you said? May 14th, yeah. Yeah, on YouTube. On YouTube. It was going to be my space, but here we go. We're on YouTube instead. You have a huge tour. I discovered you and started following you back when I saw you on, you know, doing reels and TikToks. And one of the things is though you are a female, you do look very, very much like Jim Carrey. It's not weird. It's the mouth, right? It's the nose too. Really, I got the nose. The brown eyes. Like you absolutely could be his daughter, brother, sister. Some people say grandma. Yeah, I got to moisturize. I gotta start moisturizing and doing Juergens. She's so tan, I'm like, how did you get tan? Juergens self-tanner, everybody. Juergens, it's a secret. Oh, wait, speak of what you know, we reached out to them, I had some reach out. And? Because I said I really have been pushing the Juergens self-tanner for like years. Sponsor me. And they wrote back and they said in all transparency, we are only looking at younger people. F you, Juergens. And I'm like, I cannot tell you how many people say, how do you look that tan? And I go, Juergens self-tanner, but. You gotta start lying. Tell people it's near. Only buy it if you're under 35. No, you gotta start lying now. No, you can't. Well, who cares? Juergens, at least throw me a few free bottles. Nair would never. I really care. Yeah, what the hell? There's another self-tanner people. Come on, come on, let me know about you. Come on, she's tan. I'm done with this loyalty. She's great. Yeah. Okay, so. So tell me a little bit. So you said you're the middle child. Middle child always looked like Jim Carrey. From New York. It heard like, yep, from upstate, basically Canada kind of counts, you know. Oh, but do you, now have you ever looked into if there's any 23 or me? No, my mom could never pull Jim Carrey. No. No, not like he's your dad. Oh, you're saying further back. But like maybe you're like fourth cousins or something. Maybe. I don't know. I've never looked into it. I mean, that thing is close to Canada. You never know. I know, right? I've never slipped over in the border. Has he reached out to you at all? No. You reach out to him. No, I've never reached out to him. Why not? Because it's like cringey. What am I gonna say? Like, hello, I have your face. And then what? What would you do if somebody damned you? That looked exactly like you? Would you be like, block? Well, I have a lot of people that will say, this is your doppelganger, this person's un-90 day fiance, whatever. Some I'm okay with. Some I'm like, yeah, that girl's pretty. But you're not reaching out going like. No, no. Right. But if it was, I guess if I. It was another comedian? Yes. If there was a comedian that like, you know, was 20 years older, like he's 20 years older than you or more. And I just can't believe that he has, that someone hasn't sent your stuff to him. Well, I'm sure they have. And he hasn't reached out. I'm sure they have, but he's probably like, okay. That's, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe he doesn't care. Remember, what about that whole thing that happened? What did you think that happened when, when it was like the conspiracy that he was, that he was wearing a mask or that he was there and that he looked so different or got work done? What did we ever find out? It's face work. All of a sudden people forgot about face work. So you think it was him? It's his face work. Yeah. Everyone thought it was. And it hadn't settled down yet. Yeah, there was fillers. I think there's some bleph. Upper, lower, middle, who knows? And I don't know who the left can really, I don't even know who that is. I think just got an upper bleph. Ryan Seacrest? No. Okay. I'm just guessing. You know, Olivia Wilde? Yeah. Oh my gosh. She looks, I gotta do a video on that. A cuckoo bananas. Okay. Who's on there? Olivia Wilde, beautiful actress. She dated Harry Styles for a while. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Who by the way is now engaged to Zoe Kravitz. Who gets engaged every year. But also I don't think anyone seems to care. No one cares. And they keep pumping, they keep sending it to people to pump and people are like, we don't, we're fine, we don't care. Harry Styles, who cares? And I always thought Harry Styles was a little gay. He's a little gay, isn't he? He's a little gay. He's a little gay. And then she, and then they worked on that movie, don't worry about it, Darling. They were on that movie, Don't Worry About Darling, which I was so excited about because I love Palm Springs, I have a house out there. I love that era of 1960s. And I thought it was like a, gonna be a fun like 1960s thing. No, it was dark. And it was so dark. In the end, he was just like, what do you call those creepy guys that are just into video games? Yeah, wasn't he just like an incel, like just like a redditor incel? He turned out he was just an incel. They were like controlling. He was like one of his beautiful girlfriend who was a doctor that he, whatever. Didn't he like sedate her and then just make her perfect in like a virtual world or something? I forgot about that movie. In a virtual world, they were in the 1960s and she was like a 1950s, 60s housewife. And that's what it was. But anyway, Olivia Wilde was in it, but she was a director. And basically left her husband, Jason Sudakis. Sudakis, I love that. What is this? Sudakis? Yeah. Like for him, he served her while she was doing like a TED talk or like a panel. Yeah, it's fierce. Divorce papers. And anyway, she showed up and I'm like, listen, this is what is going on. And I'm like, I guess this is just someone who is already thin, that's jealous that everybody else is getting thin and wants to be the thinnest. But then my friend sent and said, I know she got the upper bleph. I think it's that and it was epic. I have always said, I like that sexy eye look. What is an upper bleph? Okay, so it's like, okay, so say how I have like a bone here. Yeah. Okay, so some people have different eyelids and she's one of those people, she never really had the bone, but I think it's pretty like Renee Zellweger and Leanne Rimes and a lot of people, it's a very, it's a unique eye shape. I think it's beautiful. But then you go see a plastic surgeon and they're like, no, we'll take out this piece of skin so that you then can see that bone, but it really changes your look. Yeah. Like you can lift your face a little, you can fill your lip a little, but when you change the eye shape, then it's like, and that's what it is. It's not only she older, always been thin, but now she's changed the, Yeah, she's really thin though. I'm like, is she an osepic? She would waste away. Maybe, I think it's this eye thing and just always being thin and just being. She looks a little, yeah, it was spooky. I don't even know where we were going with this. Shout out to Olivia Wilde. Well, we think Jim Carrey's upper bluff. So anyway, that was such like a kind of a fun couple days of conspiracy theories, because then it was like, no, is it this Alexis Stone, who's like this incredible makeup artist. And she played into it, it was smart. Yes, it was smart. And then it was, no, but his daughter, you know, and girlfriend are there and like, what is it? But then he had that weird voice in the speech. But I also was like, is he playing, is he playing into like a fun experiment for us to freak out? No, I think it's just aging. It's like Biden always whisper. Biden's like, but like when he was 30, he probably was more, I think he's just an aging guy. Have you ever gone down that rabbit hole about the Biden doubles? Dude, I had, like there was one Biden that was like three inches taller. No, I had a guy come up to me at a show after and be like, I know it's you. And I'm like, what? I know you're Jim Carrey as Joe Biden. And I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of South Carolina. I don't know what the fuck is going on. Greenville, South Carolina, you're fucked up. Yeah, I mean, this guy, none of the conspiracy theories make sense. Like they thought I was on the red carpet as Jim Carrey, but then what, I'm wearing a prosthetic mask. That makes me look crazy. I don't, I couldn't follow. People were saying I was a clone. I'm like, why am I involved? Okay, so when was the first time that you did realize there is a very strong resemblance to Old Reel? Like Child, like eight. When Ace Ventura movies were coming out, cause I could just pull the face. Oh. Just like the all writing. And you just do that. And when was, and that was, you went to see Ace Ventura and you did that? Yeah, we'd just do it for like my friends and babysitters and you know. And so the first time you discovered it yourself. Yeah, you could just pull the face. And you enjoyed his comedy too. Yeah, I was a huge, yeah, I love his films. I know way too much about him now from being online. Like I don't need to know that he's a Capricorn. Don't need to know that. I don't need to know his personal life at all. I'm not somebody that's like super into like, you know, stand behavior, but I know way too much about that man now from online. Well, one thing I do love about his story, couple things that I really do love is he was the manifesting mama before I was the manifesting mama before Amanda on Real House was Beverly Hills with the manifesting queen because. Oh, her courses? Yeah, because he wrote himself a check for $10 million. Put the date on it. Yep. And just like put it away. And like a few days before that day expired, the agent called and said, you're gonna do this movie and they're paying you $10 million. That's sick, I love that. It is amazing. He's a manifesting mama. He is a manifesting mama. Get it, JC. I love it. He's very spiritual. I love that too. He's on my carpet saying he's not real. That's fun. That's schizophrenia. I don't know. It's fun. Who cares? I would also be like, I'm not real if I was that rich. Like, eh. I remember when he was dating Jenny McCarthy. Yeah, she's commented on my videos and I'm like, this is a love triangle. I don't want to get involved in this. They were together like four years. Yeah. And that was like kind of a juicy. When was that though? Like 10, 15? I remember it was my early Chelsea lately days because Chelsea and she were close. Oh. And they rode with Chelsea and they were like going through something because she was being a good friend and like taking the phone. Yeah. And I was like, oh, are they like breaking up? Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, when a girl is just like going through it. And you're just like, okay. And yeah. And then they did, they broke up. Yeah. But obviously she's definitely married to the right guy. Oh my God. They could not be like more happy. Which one? What's the name, Bruce? Donnie. Donnie. There probably is one out there that just like runs a bank. I don't know. There's so many Walburgs. I can't keep track. Like Baldwin's. Okay. So what was your like high school life like? Were you always make, were you in the theater arts? No. I went to a private school in Florida. What kind of a private school? Like horrible. Like just sad. No, like non-enomination or Catholic. I think Catholic. I don't know. How do you, you know if it's Catholic or not. I think so. Well, I don't know the difference between Catholic and Christian to be so honest. Well, do we, were there were there priests? Was there, was Jesus on a cross and did he have good abs? Great abs. Then you were at the Catholic school. I remember being like that guy's fucking hot. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It was Catholic? Yes. Yes. Otherwise Christian would not have, that's the crucifix. They would just have a cross. Interesting. I didn't know that. I believe people will correct me. I believe from all my Catholic education being raised Catholic, that the crucifix is synonymous with Catholic. With Catholic. Okay. That really checks out cause I remember every time it would be like eight pack. Yeah. I think this guy's ripped. Exactly. Yeah. So no public, like no public funding. So it was all like no arts programs. Oh, okay. It was real sad. My religion teacher at cerebral palsy. Oh, really? She would tell she had half a brain and I'm like, well, we can make it up. It's fine. You don't need, this isn't math. And so she. Yeah. So it was fine, but I wasn't in theater. I always knew I wanted to do stand up though. But I was chicken shit. When was the first like stand up thing that you saw on TV or? I remember like Comedy Central half, members of Half Hour Presents. I watched those all the time. I know. I would watch them nonstop and just be like, I want to do that so bad. And I grew up on Jim Carrey movies. So I really. And were your parents like that's going to be you one day were they supportive of that dream? No. No, I don't, I think they just wanted me to have a stable job where I could make money. All they care about is just like, just please make money so that we don't have to like, you know, bail you out in life. And what were they like middle class, upper middle class? Yeah, I would say upper mid. Okay. But like frugal probably had more money that they let on. They're retired now. They retired right at like 55. You know, so they're good. You're like, why are you living so good? You fuck. It's like whatever. I don't care. I don't just kidding. I wish I was bougie. Gosh. Interesting that you guys can now buy a second home. Why are we eating cheese and crackers for dinner, dad? I mean, I think we can afford something better. Why were you acting like we were gonna lose the house? Literally, it was like that mentality of like, we drive Toyota Camry's and we have no money. And it's like, okay, you're retiring on a beach right now. You're fine. I'm happy that they're good. Thank God. I don't want, you know, my parents working as Walmart readers, it's good that they're retired, but yeah. So I always wanted to do stand up. I was too chicken shit. And then I finally did it like a 25 in Orlando. This episode of Juicy Scoop is sponsored by Jones Road Beauty. You guys know how much I've been talking about, I love Jones Road Beauty miracle balm. I mean, I'm telling you on the days that I am not wearing makeup, I put that on, I look like I just had a facial and look young and gorgeous. Yes, I do because people tell me. But now I want to tell you they have a new product that I absolutely love. It's their foundation stick. This is skincare forward foundation. It delivers buildable, real coverage while feeling completely weightless on your skin. It gives you meaningful coverage without ever looking cakey or heavy, which I know foundation sticks can do that, this will not. It's available in 30 shades to match a wide range of skin tones. 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From postpartum to later in life, supporting stronger, visibly thicker hair through it all. I've been using it for well over a year or two now and my hair has got the bounce back. It looks great. It's shiny. This is all my own hair and thanks to NutriFull. Whether you're gifting to yourself or a loved one, take hair growth off the to-do list for a limited time. NutriFull is offering 25% off the fullest hair kit that supplements plus their hair serum duo and free self care gifts when you visit NutriFull.com. That's NutriFull.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com. And tell me about your first time. It was great. You know, it was a sad open mic. Low stakes, only comics in the room, in Orlando. Had you prepared, like had you been working on something? I've been writing jokes for years. So you kind of knew like this would be a good little five minute set. Yeah, I mean, it was one-liners. I was doing one-liners when I started. It was like, you know, easy to just- And did you lead with, I look like Jim Carrey? No. Okay. I didn't do any of that. Okay. People would always tell me after shows, when I started doing shows and stuff, they'd be like, you know who you look like. And when did you finally like lean in and realize, I'm really funny, but this does help COVID. Oh, okay. Board and the house. Everybody was bored making sourdough bread. Remember that? Yeah. We were depressed. Yeah, we were in the house. I never made the sourdough bread. I didn't either. I was Tiger King and, you know, drinking. Me too. I did a Tiger King video. I acted like that weird lady and rode my bike around. Carol? Yeah, and I had a Bengal Cat. So I acted like the Bengal Cat was like the Tigers. Yes, Carol. That was like the fun part of COVID. It was. COVID season one was the best. The first season was one-meanable. That was when we were all in it together. Everybody enjoyed the break. We got to like, yeah, I totally jumped the shark. Like season three, I jumped the shark. I'm like, we're still doing masks outside. We can't do this. Yeah. But the first, that was the golden time. That time where like all of a sudden, I like remember like I talked to my friend cause it started March 20th. And I talked to my friend just after Easter and she said, she was like whispering. And she's like, we saw another family for Easter. I go, what? She goes, yeah, Rami couldn't take it. He's like, I have to see another family or husband. And I was like, oh my God. I'm legal. Oh my God. And I go to my husband and I'm like, Nuel and Rami saw another family at Easter. And my husband's like, I'd like to see another family. And then people started to like fish. Like they started to fish. Like it's almost like having an affair. Like, yes. Would you be down to meet? Yeah. Like and people like, yeah, yeah, real, discreet. Real, discreet. I was in Florida, which was great. Cause it was like, after three hours, they were like, it's over. Go outside. They didn't even address it. You wore a mask. You were called a gay. That was the craziest thing that like based on where you lived. Oh yeah. I got caught smiling in a photo once during COVID. And people were like, Catholic, you're a pervert. Yeah. I was like, sorry that I smiled. Jesus. It was a different time in Florida. Yeah. It wasn't even real. And I think that the people that were really strict about it and like out to like get people ruined, they're like quiet now. Where are they at? Yeah. They're not like, I still believe I, they're just kind of like, okay. Let's not talk about that time. Yeah. It was a weird time. We were instacarting groceries and wiping them down. I mean, what are we doing? I remember doing that once. And I was like, I'd rather just get sick. This is insane. I'm wet wiping my, you know, box of cereal. I can't do this. It's too much. I was losing dignity. Oh. Okay. What a time. So during COVID, I was bored. I said, I'm going to get on TikTok, this weird app where children are dancing. Yeah. And I'm going to convince them. I was like, let me just see if I can convince them cause I always hear it. Now how long? So now let me see. So now at this point you've been doing stand up like five years. Five years, yep. And were you making any money at it? No, bar, you know, local shows I would feature here and there. You'd feature. That's good. But all in Florida where you lived. Yeah. So it was very, there was a ceiling. I always lived a day job before COVID. I would do like admin work and project management for like theme park companies. I worked at a desk that Casey Anthony worked at in Orlando. I opened the desk drawer my first day and there was a picture of a pregnant Casey Anthony with my boss. And I was like, what the fuck is this? And they were like, oh, she worked at that desk. Isn't that nuts? It was her last job before the murder that she's off on innocent. So I have another podcast called Juicy Crimes. And Casey Anthony is one of those that is like my top tier, like watched everything on it. You followed the whole story when it's happening in real time, watched the trial. I was in Orlando during that. So that was a job because was it? That was the universal connection job. But then she also, I thought she never had that job. She had access to Universal Studios through the company we worked at, but she didn't actually work at Universal Studios. So that's why she brought them down that hallway. She had access still. And then when she got to the end, she's like, all right, I don't actually work here. So it's like we had access because we were working with the theme parks. But at one time she did work there. She didn't work at that. Yeah, she had this desk. Cause we were a photo, it was like a Kodak kind of company. Oh, okay. Like theme park, roller coaster ride photos, basically. It was like the engineering for that. So. And did you go to? I asked the T. I said, what's, you got to tell me. And they were like, number one, she lied about everything. Like you could see her eat a salad at lunch and she'd tell you she had a hamburger. Like those kind of liars fascinate me. Lied about everything. And then it's like a grifter, liar, con woman, all that kind of stuff. I, I'm always like, why? What is the goal about lying about what you had for lunch? Even when people saw. Right. And then she wouldn't, she for the first five months were a pregnancy. She told everybody it was a cyst. Isn't that crazy? They'd be like, you look, are you good? And she'd tell everybody it was a cyst. And then finally out like five months, she was like, all right, I'm pregnant. And they're like, we know. We know. Isn't that wild? What is your theory of what happened? She murdered that baby. She took that baby's life. Yeah, I think I don't, I don't really know about any of the family dynamics. This is what I think. I didn't really care. This is my theory of what happened. She didn't want to be a mom. She's a Florida mom. I think. This is what I, what I think. Here we go. You better not say. I don't think the dad had anything to do with it. No. What I think happened was, I think that she accidentally gave her way too much benadryl type of something. See, like for sleeping. And was like, if she could just sleep like longer than I can go do this thing. Yeah, let go out. And, or maybe she'd done it before successfully. Where she'd given her stuff, gone out, come back, and she's fine, left her at home alone, whatever. That's what I always thought. Then when I watched that last thing that was kind of, there was one that was like, very much, the thing about documentaries, especially crime ones, they don't have to show both sides. They edited it so that people watch it and there's new info. And all of a sudden then people are convinced. And all of a sudden Rosie O'Donnell is like, I believe like Rosie O'Donnell gets switched so quickly. She's a little, she's like, you know, Eric and Lyon Menendez, I call him on the phone at the prison. And then she was like, very pro Casey Anthony after watching. Yes, after watching that, she was like, I knew it was the dad. This is like people who think Scott Peterson's innocent. I can't, well, listen to me. I know Heather, I don't think he's innocent. Thank God. I want to say, oh, there was just a news article that said they're not re-opening it. However, it is a very compelling case because of the other similar things that were happening in that town. But there was so much evidence that proves that, you know, what the lying and everything. And I've talked about him at Nauseam. But I am like, wow, there are a lot of things where there were other pregnant women missing and there were things like that. That could help with his defense. But my always thing is, even if you hate your wife and you weren't excited about the baby, how many people are like, oh my God, thanks God. Kind of hoping she would die. She went missing. We don't know where she is. In the meantime, let me reinstate my porn cable channel. Or go to Mexico with blonde hair. Yes. Well, that was later on. It was later, but it's like- And it was cause he was tired of people approaching him. No, no. And that $8,000 from who was from a carie sold. No, I know, these are all the stories. No, these are the people. But these are the stories. These are the defense. But the one, but really it was the porn cable. I didn't know that. Okay, so she's missing. He's missing. Can't find her. And then he calls up the cable company and is like, can I reinstate the porn channel? It's very important to me. And I think it's these details that to me tell the story. Because I'm like, if you believed that somebody had kidnapped her, she's broke her ankle in a ditch while taking the dog for a walk, we're gonna find her. Wouldn't you just wait like a couple of weeks? Because if she comes back tomorrow, you're gonna have to cancel it and you're gonna have to pay for the whole month. And you're gonna have to explain to her that you signed up for porn while she was missing. But you're also gonna pay for a month that you didn't get to enjoy. So you're pretty much hoping that at least she'll be gone for 30 days. So that you know this $12 or whatever it was at the time is a waste. And that was really, really what- That's a hard one to sell. That was a hard one to like- But also men don't think long-term, I think. So who knows? That's just the crazy, yeah, the Casey Anthony. Yes, so that's insane. Okay, so did you go to college? Yeah, so I went to, I was in Orlando. I went to UCF for a little- Did you enjoy it? No, I hated school. I hate school. It's not for me. I always knew I was not. I wasn't gonna be an engineer. Okay, so you've been doing it for five years. It's COVID and you decide- What's like your first video that kinda like really popped off? The first one. Literally the first one I posted. Oh, you joined TikTok. I joined TikTok. I posted a video saying, can you please help me find my father? He's abandoned me. And I did this. And it's like, I was like, nobody's gonna really, this'll be fun. And it just blew up and everybody was in their house during COVID, losing their minds already. So now they're like, oh my God, Jim Carrey's abandoned a daughter. They believed it. Yes. And I had to walk it back. Cause I was like, I'm not, I'm gonna get sued. This is gonna be like Jim Carrey, deadbeat father. You know? Okay. So I kinda, I walked it back a little. I had fun with it still with the lookalike stuff, but I kind of slowly just did my kind of comedy. Okay. Celebrities and kind of just transitioning to that. So yeah, it was immediate. But I think it's, if I did it now, I don't know if it would have blown up as much. Everybody was in their house on TikTok, on social media. Yeah. Tidying their goddamn minds. And so then when you started to get a big following on social media, did it then, how did that propel like selling tickets and getting better gigs? So then I was like, okay, I done stand up. I had, you know, feature time. And I was like, I want a headline. Probably had like 40 good minutes. And the first year I was figuring out how to get to an hour of like good material. But yeah, that helped. That helped like start, you know, I started just booking shows of my own. Going to clubs and, you know, hometown and, you know, working on an hour and get it cause I'd never headlined before. It's crazy. That first time you're headlining. Do you remember that? Well, I mean, I really remember like the first time someone asked me to do 20 minutes. Yeah. And I didn't have 20 minutes, but I said, yes. Yeah. If you can do, you got like 15 minutes. You should never say no to the opportunity, no matter what it is. Unless you're absolutely new. I mean, unless you're lying about being a surgeon and someone's like, can you do open heart surgery tomorrow? And you're like a con man, please don't do that. But if you're just like doing something like that and it is kind of above where you're paid great or whatever, just go for it. Just go for it. Just know that you can like do it. Yeah, you gotta strike. Cause if you say no to the opportunity, it might not come back again. So yeah, I remember going, will this be hard? But it wasn't. Cause once you're like flowing and like, you know, you're looking at the clock, it wasn't ever like, oh my God, I'm only at, you know. And they also don't know. Like I remember I would start, I would do 45. That's my headlining set. Like when I first started. Isn't that like the minimum? That's the minimum. Yeah, you can do 45 to 60. I think after like an hour, you're like, all right. I've seen headliners do like an hour and a half, two hours and it's like, you're insane. Oh, people are like three hours. I can't. That's like, now you're just masturbating. What are we doing? You know what I mean? Yeah. So I started with 45 and just slowly became very comfortable with it. Now I'm like, you know, I do like an hour. Yeah. It's fun. Sometimes if it sucks though, I'm like, thank God it's 45. Good night. You know, you're just have like your Naples, Florida. Sorry, Naples. And what do you think that is that you think it's based on you or the crowd? It's the vibe of the crowd. Yeah. And maybe I'm just have, yeah, they just don't connect. Like I'm saying Naples, Florida is just, it's not my kind of crowd. I don't know why they booked me. It's like very, everyone's almost dead there. Very nice people, but I was bombing. Sometimes they just don't get it. They don't know gay, I'm like talking about prep. Like what are they, you know? So I'm like teaching them what, about trans terms. It's like crazy. They don't know. I barely know. This is not good. We're not learning. I was bombing so bad I just started in crowd work with old people. I'm like, what medication are you on? You know, I'm just like, what blood thinners you got going. But then they probably loved that. Yeah, they did. They couldn't hear. They thought I was probably Ellen. Who cares? It's fine. Yeah, but stuff like that. Ellen, was she someone that you enjoyed the comedy of or that you like connected with at all as a comedian? No, do you think anybody's connected with Ellen? No. No offense. Does she allow connection? I liked her here and now that first, I think it was like an HBO after she came back. Yes, when she did the God talking to God. And like she did, I thought her style was like, like I remember the first time I saw her, I had just started doing stand-up. And I was like walking around UCLA and it was like, winner of the da-da-da-da, like Ellen. And I'm like, ooh, you know, there were so few women doing stand-up TV back then that I was like, who's this pretty blonde girl? Like how did she win da-da-da? I didn't know anything about her. And then when I started to see her stuff, I'm like, oh, her take, her cadence is so funny. And then she had her first sitcom. Yeah, she came out. And then they changed it to, no, the first sitcom was like just these friends of mine. And that didn't work. It was gonna be just like, there was a time when everybody was trying to do friends. So they're just like, let's just put everybody and they have their quirky friends and they have their horny guy friend and they have their, you know, needy girlfriend. And so she was playing straight, she was straight. Then they got rid of that and they called it Ellen. And then she had her friends. And then by like the fourth season was her coming out. I'm gay. I'm gay. Yeah. Do you do impressions? Do you do impressions? Yeah, I don't do a lot. I like Britney Spears is really fun to do. We're just, it's just like quick, like, you know, like, whoa, holy shit. Like I just like doing that real quick. Gypsy Rose is very fun to impersonate. Let me see that. You know, when she'd be like, Rianne! Like she's just crazy online. The D's on fire! She's a crazy character. What do you think about her trajectory? Oh my God, I love it. I'm Team Gyps. I'm Team Gyps. She's fun. She's fun. I love her. She's like calling the paparazzi and wearing like a 2000 Irvée dress. Yeah. Her daughter's name is insane. Aurora Urca. If that kid has a speech impediment, she's fucked. She'll be like, oh, whoa, Urca. Like that sucks. What do you think about her? What do you think about her? Her plastic surgery glow-up and her wigs. I love it. I hope they give her, they should make her a housewife soon. I mean, I would love. I don't think enough people watched her reality show. She had one? Yeah. See, I'm not even that good of a fan. Yeah, I don't even, I didn't know. But it was probably like a serious tone. Well, the first husband was the male version of her mother. Remember how much they looked like? Yes, the big hefty guy. So then once all the fun ended from her going and getting out of prison, you know, and she stopped doing all the interviews, then they were back in like Louisiana and just going to like whatever. We need to make her glamorous. Put her in fucking Beverly Hills. Yeah, she didn't like that. So then she got word of him and she got back with the old boyfriend that she met in prison. And then they had the baby and then they broke up. And now I think she's probably like on OnlyFans or whatever. She's gotta be on OF. And she got a nose job. She did. Yeah. God, I really have fallen off the gypsy roadstream. You've got a nose job. I think everyone kind of has. I mean, yeah, cause it's like, you gotta... How long can it last? Yeah, there's gotta be something more. We need something else. Like sure, go on OnlyFans, you'll do fine. There's enough people that still like probably would think that was interesting or whatever. Yeah. With a voice like that though, it's like any guy that's into that, it's a little creepy, right? That little baby voice. It's a little creepy. Yeah. It's really interesting that people would remember. Everyone realized that Paris had a fake voice. Yes. I always knew that deep, that deep bitch was in there. Like, hey, how you doing? That's a real voice. I think voices are so interesting. Cause I always said, Yeah. She sold it. Like a little kid that has a scratchy voice will work. Yeah. They, oh, like Lindsay Lohan, whatever. Yeah, they're the raspy voice ones. Little girls with scratchy voices. Also women that have a scratchy lower voice, they could be a hundred pounds and a model and they will be the lead detective in A. Like are we talking like an Emma? Like an Emma Stone voice? No, like there was this woman named Angie Harmon. She was on like, yeah. She was always like, I'm the detective here. And I'm always like, God, if I had a scratchy voice, I think I'd work more. And then, I'll be a detective. Yeah. And then there's the girls that like, yeah, like play a character to get a guy. I love it. I love that Paris did that. She's smart. Yeah, she was always like, it's hot. It's hot. Yeah, it's hot. Yeah. And then she'd be like, can I get a coffee? Yeah, I love that. I love that switch. It's great. She still kind of does it. She does it and I think it's a little weird because it's like, we know girl. We know now you're in the 40s. Like, yeah, but I mean, also like genius successful. No, she's smart. I like her. Like and how she figured out everything. Yeah. Loved her and Nicole Richie and those, you know, and they had to go through some shit with, man. I don't know. Press Hilton and shit. I mean, that's wild. Everyone just, yeah. It was a wild, that's insane that they dealt with that. I know, they handled it. I just saw a little clip of Hilary Swank Yeah. And she was doing like a panel and this woman asked her and said, I hope you don't mind me asking this. You know, I hope this is an okay question. And she's like, yeah, she goes, I'm curious if you ever saw the episode of the office where they were talking and debating whether you are an attractive woman or not. And her answer is weird. Her answer is kind of like, well, would you ever ask a man that? And I'm like, okay, so are you mad at the woman? Are you mad that the writers of the office wrote that? And she goes, because all the characters I play are beautiful. And I don't really think that was a good answer. What I would have wanted to hear is really like, yeah, actually, like giving the juicy scoop. Actually, I turned on the TV and I loved the office and I watched it and I was like, I can't believe they're talking about me, but oh, fuck, they're saying I'm ugly, but I have enough confidence to know I'm not. I'm fucking gorgeous. Yeah, or at least just be like, yeah, I was so funny. Or I was so hurt. Like I just want to want to know what's the real. What was the real? That was no answer. Tell me what the real thing is. Cause we've all had those moments where you're like, are my feelings hurt? Or have I gotten to a place of being a comedian and in this thirst game that like, thanks for mentioning me. Like have I gotten to the other side of like, cause I've gone like that with things. Have you gone like that? Where things would bother you or criticism bother you and then you get to the other side or you're still not on the other side? No, I never bothered me. I read every comment. I love it. I love it. It doesn't bother me cause like, you know, especially, I deal with online. So it's not like I'm blogs or Reddit or, you know, it's just like online comments I'm seeing. And you always click the profile of somebody who's leaving a shitty comment. It's like somebody you don't respect. Like, I'm like, I get hurt by this guy. You know what I mean? Like if I saw him in the street, I wouldn't even notice him. So it doesn't bother me. It makes me laugh a little. No one's going to be critical of you that is, you know, that is more successful, more attractive or more. It's never really hot people. Yeah, or richer. Yeah, it's no rich, super attractive person who's super successful is going to be like, you know what, I don't think that 30 second video was that funny. Yeah, this unfollow. It's like, please. And I'm going to now spend this time writing this. Yeah. It's a miserable person activity. Right. It's like when there's something, when someone, when TMZ posts something and you start to just read the comments out of curiosity. Oh yeah, what are those? And I'm like, this is not the temperature of America. No. Because America, most people have jobs. Yeah. And they wouldn't, if they even saw the article, they wouldn't have time to go and comment. No, this is unemployed behavior. Yeah. This is like 45 living with mom behavior, you know? I always sit down in the basement. I always say they're baby reindeer. Remember the show, Baby Reindeer? That's who it is. Yeah, it's very like, oh, I miss that show, man. That was so good. That was a fun one. Baby reindeer. And then what I learned about Baby Reindeer, this is the show on Netflix where the guy, based on his true life, had a crazy female stalker. Scottish. But what was so interesting is when she lost interest in stalking him for a little bit. He got a little bummed. And he got a little buffed. Yeah, I would see, I would be like, come back stalker. He was a little sad. There is something flattering. I'm a little stalk stalk. How about having a stalker? Scary. Have you had one? But in the beginning, no. Have you had any like, none? Do you have weird fan? I had this one person on my Facebook years ago. Facebook's the one. That would just write just like the same thing every time. Which is like, I really like your hair. I really like your hair when you wear it like that. Well, I basically have always had a side part that's my hair for years. So I never changed it. I wasn't someone, so I was just like, and I don't even cut and pasted it or couldn't remember that he wrote the same thing he gave it before. It was a guy. And some people were like, this guy's scary. Like you should. And I'm like, I think that if I was to block him or that's gonna tip him over. Right now he's just leaving a comment. Yeah, appease him. Just let him do his thing. Like who cares, right? Yeah, when you piss him off. That's when you start seeing, you know, dead rats in your mailbox or some shit. Right, yeah. I think, but no, I think it's very real. And I think, you know, it's really scary for some people. But yeah. Yeah, I think it's good. Yeah. I mean, a little stalker's fun. Nothing serious. This episode of Juicy Scoop is sponsored by Ladder. Let's be honest, you're so proud of yourself. You get in your outfit, you go to the gym. And then you're walking around and you really don't know where to start, how much to do. And then maybe you go back and do the exact same thing again. Are you really doing what's right for your body? That is why I love Ladder. Ladder is an expert strength training plan, not a content library. These aren't influencer workouts or challenges. It's real progressive programming designed by certified coaches. And you get a new plan every week that builds on the last. I absolutely love it. I have a gym I can go to. And this really keeps me on track. And it costs less than $1 a day. That's elite level, personal training for a fraction of what you'd pay in person. 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And you're in a really cute suit. Thank you. I like your, I like your satin. Did you really get it? No. No. It's very, it's cause it's fitted and really attractive. So how did you meet, tell me a little bit about your love story. We met on Instagram. Uh-huh. 2021, you know. So you were already doing your videos. Yeah. Yeah, she liked me. She didn't like my comedy. She's, she wasn't a fan. She liked, she thought it was hot. But she thought, she's like, you're fine. Your comedy is fine. You're kind of gross. So it wasn't like... So wait, so she's just like my aesthetic. So she slid into your DMs. Slid into my DMs. And said what? She said, marry me. That was the first, that's what she led with. Talk about manifesting. Talk about the most lesbian story I've ever heard. No. I mean, everyone always says, oh, second date is get to you hall. We'll slide in DMs. She was sending the new hall confirmation. Also true manifestation. True manifestation. I mean, you can say that when you look like that. Yeah, she's very pretty. Anybody will marry you. You know what I mean? But her bio on Instagram said UK Law. So I thought she was in like Europe. Yeah. I thought she was British. I was like, this is fun. Talk to a British lady. Cheerio. Yeah. And then I realized, I learned that UK is University of Kentucky, which I did not know that existed. Okay. So then I was like, oh no, is she gonna sound like a banjo? Okay. Like, you know that accent? Yeah. But she's got a nice little twang. It's not too, not too thick. Thank God. That'd be a deal breaker if she sounded like a banjo. Okay. So how far do you go from marrying me on DM to like actually talking on a phone, past text, talking on a phone or FaceTiming? Like a weekend. Okay. A week of DMing maybe. I was in Austin at the time. Okay. And so yeah, we would FaceTime. Living in Austin. Living in Austin, yeah. And do and stand up doing your thing. Do and stand up, yep. And at this point, your career is like on a nice rise. Yeah. And I wanted to start headlining. I wasn't headlining yet. Okay. So I was in Austin. And so I was like... And what was your relationship status prior? Had you had serious relationships before then? Kind of. I would like date somebody for six months, maybe three weeks, maybe a year. Did you have to do like an official coming out party or tell your parents or anything? No, I was second in line of the gays. Okay. We're all gay. I don't think any of us came out. I think they were like, yeah, we know. You had the siblings, you mean? Yeah, me and the siblings. Nobody really... So your oldest sibling is a girl too? Yeah, she's 40. She's in her 40s, 45. So she's 90s lesbian. Okay. What's the difference between a 90s lesbian? Well, they were like rare. Like they had to really fight oppression. Like, you know, when Glee came out, that's when it was cool to be gay. Remember they were like... Great point. Overturning gay marriage. You could get gay married. Yes. Rosie was on the steps, marrying people left and right. Next up, you know? Right, right, yeah. She was doing that. But like in the 90s, it was like, you know... Well, that's when Ellen was like, yep, I'm gay. Yeah, remember when she came out? She got like banished. Yeah, and then she did kind of get banished. And then she came back with her talk show about being nice. Right, which was like, I'd rather you just be a straight lady, go somewhere else. Now you're just a mean gay. You're waterboarding your staff. What are we doing? And that was great. I heard those rumors for years. So by the time it came out, it was like, yeah, we've... You've known this for like a decade at least. I know, I told this story on the show before, but I just think you'd appreciate it. I know someone who like was trying out for the job to either be a writer or work on staff something. Yeah, okay, well, hi in the scenes. And it was like their second or third interview in person. And you know how she would always do like the scaring people and freaking that. And if this guest was like terrified of frogs, she would have like a frog jump on. It's like... That's so mean. It's so fucking mean. It's so mean. And so anyway, the girl is like talking to her or whatever, the candidate. And the candidate like looks at these curtains and like sees the Ellen Tender shoes like behind the curtain. And she's kind of like... She's giggling. Like I was almost like a little kid. She's like, should I like play along that she's gonna like pop out? And an interview? In an interview. This is what was told to me. I did not live it, I'm just telling you. So just for legal reasons, this was told to me. Allegedly. And so then she had to like act scared and stuff. Cause she wanted the job. Oh my God. She had to, yeah, scare herself into getting in the job. Oh no. Oh, you're so good. Your four year old's hiding where? Where is Brandon? Yeah. That's so weird. And it wasn't fucking weird. And it wasn't just for Ellen's enjoyment. No, it's just like, yeah, like her kink. So like, that is so weird. I know. Remember when she like hid behind a door and popped out at Taylor Swift? And she was at a heart attack at like 25? That's weird. It's just weird shit, man. You know, I was like, this is what women do. This is what women do. With P Diddy. Right. And she's like, when are we gonna have a pizza party? How many talk of pizza? I know. I'm like, tone it down. It's weird though. I mean, like, you know, men in charge do weird stuff with women and then women in charge just scare celebrities, I guess. I don't know. I mean, that's the worst. And treat their staff like shit. Wild. Okay. So getting back, so you mean. Where were we? You were meeting your girlfriend. Yeah. So we have been talking for a few months. Nash is your wife. Yeah. And then we met up in Nashville. That's hot. Yep. New Year's Eve, hang out in Nashville. For your first date was New Year's Eve in Nashville? New Year's Eve weekend. Yeah. We like hung out for three days in like an Airbnb. How fun was that? It was great. Yeah. Cause I was like, I was like, I think she's amazing. You just gotta be sure when you meet him. There's not some weird mole or something, you know. You're not seeing. She was great. And then we started dating from there. And then I finally moved to Kentucky cause she couldn't move. She's in law school. Oh, she's in law school. Yeah. She was in law school. So I, you know. And now she's a full lawyer. Now she's a lawyer. Yep. General counsel. Shout out. That's a big deal, I guess. Well, my sister's a lawyer. So it's hard. I feel your pain, sister. It's really hard. It's great for contracts. Yeah. Yeah. But, and so. Yes. Now we've been in Kentucky since I moved there in 2022. And it looked like you had kind of a big wedding. Yeah. It was low keys, like 80 people. Uh-huh. I wasn't trying to feed random relatives. And how is her family? Did they help? They're great. Did they help? Like who paid for the wedding? Split. Two women. You just go half in. And the parents didn't pay? No, parents helped out. Oh, okay. Parents, five bucks each side. Covered my suit. Yeah, the parents helped out. You know, there was all very evenly split. Some things she cared about. Did you have bridesmaids? No. Neither of us did. It wasn't, it was very non-traditional. Like we didn't do public vows. Yeah. I'm at, I just not, I don't want to look over and see my uncle. As I'm like professing my love to my wife. You didn't. No. So how do you do it without any vows? You have the person who married us. Oh, you just did the traditional vows. Yeah. You're saying you didn't write like, well, I will always make you your milkshake. You know how you like your coffee in the morning? I got you, girl. Yeah, it was none of that. No, we did the traditional ones too. You did? Yeah, we did the vows. But it was like the, do you promise to not fuck her over? We got married in the Catholic church and it was just the church, it was a long marriage. It was at long marriage, huh? Oh, you had the abs on Jesus on the wall. And then, you know, went over to marry and like gave flowers and all that. You did all that? We did all that. I have to do my first Catholic wedding this fall. We're going to one. We're going to attend. Yes. Attend. Yeah, I'm not officiating. And have you asked them, is it a full mass? I think it is. Cause it's an ordeal. Like there was a time where they said, you can, you don't have to do full mass. We can do it in 30 minutes. And my mom was like, it doesn't count. So we did full mass and it was air conditioned church. But it was a solid hour and a half. Hour and a half. An hour and a, I still want to apologize to like everybody. Well, I, you know, I'm an actress. I'm a comedian. I liked being on stage. Yeah, I was fine for you. It was like, I was like, it was like, it was weird cause I always as a kid was like, why would someone be nervous on their wedding day? Like you're not performing. Like that's not a big deal. But then right, right when I was about to walk down, I was like, this is so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's cause you get one shot. It kind of feels like you're like an audition or something. Yeah. Like one shot, I have to be serious. I'm never serious. And then I had like the full like veil and everything. And right before I went down, I put the thing over and then my sister was like, oh my God, I don't think you should do that. Like you look so pretty. Like just do it. And I go, oh, I just thought I would do this. And that was like the one thing that my husband later on said, oh, I was kind of disappointed. I was like looking forward to doing that whole thing. And I was like, the wedding's ruined. The day's ruined. Like the one thing. I know. I was like, oh my God, you didn't care about anything. You could have just told me that you were like excited about a veil. Like I would have done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll never get that chance back. Have you done the vow renewal? Is that a thing that people do? We did once in Cabo. Like we were like, it's always a Cabo trip with some people and we were at a, and we all, there were four couples. Fun. We all did it. One couple did get divorced, but the other three couples are still together. That's fun. And then I, like the only way I would do it is if I was on Real Housewives and someone was paying for it. Always do it at a, yeah, they always do it. Cause I'm deep in OC right now. So yeah, so you're a late in life. I'm late in life. Real Housewives watcher, which I think is a gift. I know. Cause I get to binge. People are like, if I could start all over again and people say, I'm Heather, I'm about to start. Tell me, give me some guidance. And I would say, OC and New York is Ann Beverly Hills. From the very beginning. No. Oh, Atlanta too is really good. Atlanta from the very beginning. All of them from the very beginning. If you've never watched. OC was rough in the beginning. The first, cause it was the first one. So it's a little. It's weird. It was truly more like a, a gory, a documentary. And they weren't like getting into like, really integrating with each other. When camera got there and started stirring up shit. Then it was like about their relationships with the other women. At that time, it was just watching these five families or whatever. Which is still fascinating. I still liked it. 2006 in fucking Laguna Beach or wherever there are. And there's something like calming about it. Like from that era, because you're watching it and you're remembering your life. The Skytops. Yes. Skytops. I remember the crash of 2008. There's something like the fraud that was bubbling underneath and OC. Just everybody at house of cards. Very, very few people had actual money. It was all just once that economy crash. You just saw Lynn Curtin crazy. Do you remember Lynn Curtin? I know Lynn Curtin. She's wonderful. I have a Lynn Curtin cuff. Oh yeah. You're doing great quality. Do you know where Lynn Curtin's daughter is today? Yes. It makes me so sad. I saw the video of her like no fingers. Failed. She lost her fingers too. She lost two things. She lost two things to addiction. But they're like this. So she's just always rocking out. She's, I felt so bad. I think one daughter's doing okay. I feel so bad for Lynn. Cause I mean, of course she is not, when your kid is in that situation. It's hard. It's not like you can say come home. They don't want to come home cause you won't allow them to do drugs at home. It's a very tough love. Yeah, it's really rough. And I think that guy just dipped. I don't know where Frank, I don't know where the hell Frank went. Yeah. The last time I was seeing him red, it was like, who knows where he is? Yeah. Cabo? I don't know. And so. Yeah. So this old OC man. So you're not currently watching anything. No, I am. I'm deep in OC. I'm in like season 12 and I started Rhode Island. So you're fresh on Rhode Island. And what do you think of Rhode Island? I think it's fun. I'm getting there. I was surprised at the accents. I didn't realize Rhode Island had those accents. One Alicia girl. I know she's got that. It's like Massachusetts kind of and also Jersey. I don't know what it is. I didn't realize, I have family in Rhode Island, but they're not from there. And I'm like, Oh, I didn't realize they might have that Northeastern like family guy accent. And I mean, I'm dying over this podiatrist who's cheating. I know. I guess the podiatrist owns a Medispa. And the girl he's having the affair with is the esthetician. And she's like, in real time, like posting, let the, they are like fucking while they're filming the show. And the other cast members like, she does posted that they were together while he said he had to go visit his sick mother. Right, right, right. It is like amazing. And they all really know each other, which I really like. Like they're very, they grew up together, most of them. It's very interesting, that kind of dynamic. Cause most of it, sometimes you're like, these women don't hang out. You know, like a lot of them don't. Yeah. Now they probably do. So you're not on current Beverly Hills. No, I haven't started at all. I, yeah. Oh, you're going to, I can't wait to get to Kim Richards. When, oh my God, it is, there is a moment when Kim Richards, who's kooky, I don't know if you've ever seen this clip is making her famous chicken salad to serve her, the kids that are coming over for prom pictures later that night. Okay. And there, she's, you know, on, she had- There's pills? No, Kim Richards life is so juicy. Yeah. Like if someone said, what do you want for your birthday? I would say, I want to wake up and find out that on my birthday, June 14th, there is a documentary or a scripted show on Kim Richards life. Can we get it? I know. I mean- She's child actor, right? Child actor. Child actor. Yep. And then got, and really the mother, Kathy, was one of those mothers that was all about getting her daughters married to the richest men available in LA. Okay. So she sought out like the old money in LA, which there, I never even knew old money in LA existed because I grew up in the valley, but she, they're in Beverly Hills. So they found, you know, got her to date this one guy. I'm thinking of all the different. So married a really rich guy, had like one child or something and then broke up with him and like married another really rich family, Davies. I can't remember all these different. And then like left it or was dating him, but then like married his brother. Then she had another boyfriend that was the love of her life who got shot in front of Brent Stelly. Oh no. But it was like he was involved in a Ponzi scheme. Oh no. And then I found out on a cowboy trip with a friend of mine, the real person that shot him and it's not part of the Ponzi scheme. Oh no. And then there was Jesus. Right in the book. And then she had this other guy. And then so she has like four kids, but then she had her alcohol struggles and her financial struggles. And right now she and Kyle are like suing each other because she was like living in a condo. And then my favorite part is she's living in this rental in Westlake Village. And this very unattractive guy, she meets her in a mailbox and that becomes her boyfriend. And Brandy Glanville is like, he looks like a, oh God, this Nate, I can't remember. Baltease Master or whatever. There's a dog. What is the name of that dog? Mastiff. Yes. That dog. And he really did. And it's on the show. Oh really? And then she's like 48 at the time and she sees Kyle at Vanderpump, her Vanderpump restaurant. And she's like, I gotta have another baby. Yes. This is the audio. And Kyle's like, I'm gonna have another baby. Yeah. Kim. Yeah. I can't know you're not. You know, it's like, oh my God, I have a house. And she's like, I've done so much for you. And they are at no better time. And you have not, you're gonna get to watch that from the start. Yeah, I get to take it from the start. It's one of the last few, because I'm putting off Jersey too. But when she makes the chicken salad, she mixes it with her raw hands. Of course. Raw chicken hands. And like her daughter's getting her hair done. And in the back, the camera zooms into her being like, this is just, this is my favorite chicken salad. This is my first chicken salad. And she seems fun. I feel bad for her. That makes sense that she's, she maybe turns to drugs and alcohol. I would too, if I love my life a shot. I hope she gets better, but I think in the meantime. It's rough. Bravo Peacock Netflix. Do me a favor. There is so much there. I know. What she should do. Well, did she come in and out of Beverly Hills? This is what she needs to do, Kim Richards. You need to do it yourself. Say, I'm going to tell you how my whole story, you can collect all the photos. You're going to tell the whole story because I have such a juicy life story. But I'm going to make money on it. Yeah. I don't care how bad it looks. I don't, because I want it to be a huge hit. But she's not going to be able to do that until she's well. What's the narrative around her? Do people root for her? Yeah. Fans are rooting for her. Fans are so entertaining. And she really was the child. So like Kathy worked a little bit. She was from a different father. Then she had Kyle and Kim, who was a couple of years older, with this other guy. So Kathy was like modeling and stuff. And then she got married to Hilton really. But then it was Kim that really worked all the time. And it was Kim who was like basically helping to support the whole family. And Kyle worked too, but like Kim. She had the brunt of it. And then I think when Kyle became the bigger star on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I think there was this little thing like I'm the star. And did you ever see the very famous movie, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? No, I want to see it though. I do. I feel like there's a very similar storyline of two sisters. And one was a child star, but then one was the more successful adult star. One worked their ass off and then one kind of. As a kid, but then didn't, wasn't as together because they were a child actor. Yes. They probably are a little fucked up now. And the other one who really wasn't a child actor is very level-headed, successful, which is Kyle. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. Kyle might be, well, she'd never come out. Late in life, Les. Yeah, what's going on? Or a little bye-bye? What's going on there? She was a girlfriend. She was a Morgan Way. I'm going to make you love me. You don't know about Morgan Wade. Is that a woman? Yeah. You don't know about Morgan Wade. No, is it country music? Listen, this is such a good lesbian story. I don't care that you are behind on Housewives, but you need to be up on Lesbian Housewives. No, I like being a sportswife. I like to know, yeah. There's not many. There's more and more every day. Ramona? Do you know Portia? Have you watched it lately? Oh, yeah, she's with the stud now. Yeah. But she's just, I don't know if I believe. No, she said, she goes, I always liked girls. I had a little girlfriend when we were in first grade. And she was on my friend, Carlos King's show. And she said, we used to kiss each other by the tire. And I always kind of liked that. I think she was one of those girls that was married to dudes. Cordell was pretty feminine. What? Cordell? Yeah. Oh, yeah, Cordell always had a rumors of being gay. He's a little gay, allegedly. Yeah, he's a little gay guy. Yeah. She was his doll. You know what I mean? He just got to dress her up and control her. Yeah, I remember it was like, and she didn't get pregnant with him. No, because you got to fuck. You know what I mean? I'm just saying. He's a little. Yeah, so that's fun. She's got to, she's dating a woman. That's one gay. One gay housewife, one gay-ish housewife. A lot of bisexuality. It's nice. Yeah. Kyle, maybe a little bi. And she's just like, yeah, but she's like unapologetic and great and happy and like so fun to watch. She's funny too. She's so fun to watch. And so gorgeous. And so. Yeah. And then, but Kyle, it's been this tiptoe thing where she put it out there. She brought her around. She did this sexy music video with Morgan. Oh, is this a country singer? Yeah, she's very pretty. She's very tattooed. OK. And then she brought her on the show. Oh. Everyone was made aware of she and her music, which she's talented. And then it was then Kyle went and told all her castmates, don't bring up Morgan. She doesn't want to be talked about the show anymore. And I was like, oh, OK. This is like a Matt Reif. I don't like my female fans anymore. I don't want the middle-aged, white, straight, housewife audience. I want real country or real like, you know, tattooed lesbian edgy people to like me. Even though this really helped get you known. Right. So she's like, no, I want privacy. And then Kyle's like crying to Erica Jane. And she's like, I really, I had a relationship with this person who I really loved this person. And this person really loved me, but this person didn't want to be in the public eye. So I had to end it with this person. Oh. What should I do, Erica? And then Erica's like, I protect that person. Yeah. I protect that person with all my heart. And so she's never. But then she was like, I talked about it with my daughters. I said, you're going to see this in the news. And I don't know how you feel. But she was basically tiptoeing around because she's like, you're going to see people talking about me possibly being gay. But she never says I'm gay. She never says I have a relationship with a woman. She just is like, I don't know. Maybe it'll be Brad. Maybe it'll be Angelina. And it's like, OK. OK. And then. Bisexual queen. So now, Morgan, who wanted privacy, is now just been cast as a bartender in the spin-off of Yellowstone called Dutton Ranch. Carol. And she's starting a podcast. So did she use Kyle? And she's starting a podcast. Of course. The most private thing you can do, start a podcast. Please don't look at me. Subscribe. About your mental health. Your most intimate things about yourself. Yeah. Great. So did she use Kyle? Is that? No. So Kyle has a house in Nashville, and people have seen them hanging out and eating and stuff. Oh, so maybe it was the roles they were so doing. And then Kyle was going to do a documentary about her. So my theory was always, maybe they're not a couple. Maybe Kyle is just savvy enough. She is the Antiparas Hilton to use this to get people into Morgan Wade. And then maybe she will make her to be the next Harry Underwood. And she would have a stake in that. But that documentary never came out. Yeah. So then maybe not. Maybe they were really. I think they were romantic, but now they're just friends. Scissors or scissors. But maybe not. Yeah. But also as a May-December relationship. Right. And that happens in Lesbeth. There's like a 20-year age difference. Oh, 20 years. Morgan Wade is 80. I was always shocked about, don't be other way around. You are joking, right? Yeah. Morgan Wade is like 30. Yeah. And Kyle's like 55. That's fun. That's great. So I do want to ask about that. Because I was always so like, oh my god, about Holland Taylor. And I don't understand that. But I supported Sarah Paulson. Yes. It's very interesting. They've been together now a very long time. But when they first took up, she was already like 70. And Sarah was like barely 40. Yeah. Interesting. That's interesting. I mean, I think that the only ones that are like a 30-year lesbian difference, they happen to obviously a lot with gay men. Yeah. I've never seen a woman in her prime in her 40s be like, I want that 70-year-old. That's interesting. So that's got to be real. Yeah. I mean, Holland Taylor is beautiful. But she's 70 or 80. Yeah. It's a lot. Right. It's a lot of early dinners. I remember people were wondering if, like, I remember just seeing videos of people giving their theory of do you watch hacks. Yeah. Love hacks. If the two, Jean Smart and Hannah were. That'd be hot. I bet there's some fanfic out there about that. About them having a relationship. Yeah. But isn't Jean Smart banging a dude? I just think there is just like a mother-daughter love there. Yeah. Yeah. Like. Jean Smart's beautiful. I get it. She is beautiful. I know. I'm like, I get it. Yeah. And Hannah's beautiful and a great actress. So I just think they just have a connection. They do a great chemistry. Everyone on that cast is great chemistry. It's a great show. I love it. Did you see the last episode, the episode number four when she meets the Lil Debbie's? Yes. At the convention, at the con. How that episode was the, how real was that as a comedian? I know. Yes. That I never nailed it. My friend Guy Brandon was in it. Yeah. Yeah. And he writes. He's one of the Lil Debbie's. He writes on the show. His episode's coming up in a couple weeks. And I called him because I was literally like every single line of that episode, every single thing that happened in that was so. Relatable. I know. They nail it. And that's why, because they have comics writing for that show. It's like they get it. You know what I mean? Yeah. It was so good. The sad comic con. Yeah. And how like she's disappointing people. Yeah. Yeah. But they're just pair socially attached. Then she meets this woman who's like my mom and I just connected over you. And then she's like, I watched that. I cried. Yeah. When she was like my mom wanted to see you. Yeah. But my mom passed. I was like, this is why we do this. I know. It's crazy. That's why we do this. I mean, it's a wild. I thought this was so funny. Your take on Drake. Oh my God. Listen, I can't. I can't. What tell us the latest what's going on with Drake? Drake is corny and everyone's finding out. I've always stood by this. His music's fine, but he has a corn ball, a Canadian rapper. That's like an Ohioan surfer. I can't. Um, so yeah, he's got a new album coming out called Iceman, which is just hard in this day and age. Ice is having a hard branding. Yeah. Why would you choose that? You're right. You know, it's a hard one to brand. And also not just ice and then, you know, with ice, but also just like, you know, you're always hearing how like the world is like losing our icebergs and stuff. Global warming, Drake. Like everything about it. You're right. I think it might be a Toronto reference, like a Canadian reference that maybe I'm not aware of. Like a hockey thing. Like there's a company called Iceman, I think. Somebody was saying, there's a company in Toronto called Iceman. I'm like, OK, I'm sure that's what he was doing. OK. But yeah, so he put a giant block of ice, that thing. OK. That just looks like, you know, a research in New York. It's in Toronto. Oh, in Toronto. And he put the release date on a piece of paper at the bottom. So he has to wait for it all to melt. Or he wanted crazy frat boys to take ice picks to it. And what happened with that? I think that both happened. I think white guys with boners about Drake, frat kids named, you know, Braden, that are five foot six, showed up with zins in their mouth and started breathing heavily on it until it melted. His fans are corny. They're frat boys. Like, you know, I don't. I'm team Kendrick always. I have met Drake. He's wonderful at at a Kardashian-Christmas party. Yeah, check it out. And I took a photo with my Drake and him. And I like your Drake. He's white and fun. Yeah. And he was, you know, obviously he's nice. Right at Christmas party. Like he's going to be nice. He's not going to be like. He's not going to be a dick. But is he tall? I mean, smell weird. No. He was like sitting and it was totally sweet. And he was very nice. And then, but I always think, let's not forget that he was texting Bobby Millie Brown when she was like 11 to get her advice. Talking about like, if you need any boyfriend advice, let me girl, that's creepy. I don't ever want to text a teenager, especially about, you know, dating. It's I don't buy it. I just know he's weird. He's weird. It's like that thing like you tell your kids fake abs. No, it all needs a child's help. He's got the Jesus Christ abs. He's got the fake abs. Now when you said I saw that now is that fake abs? Fake abs like he had like a chest plate on. No, it's like a surgery. He got like a contouring of his abs. Oh, where they suck out the where they can make. How do we know that for sure though? Because you look at the picture and then look at his pecs. They don't match. Like if you had abs like that, you'd have also kind of some. Yeah. You don't have like nothing upper and then all of a sudden you're ripped abs. Unless you're Jesus. So yeah, you know, people have said that he's, you know, Kendrick alluded to it. BBL Drizzy, you know, he likes it's OK, but own up to it. You know, say you like plastic surgery. Right. He's a good actor. I think that's what he's doing. He's cosplaying as a rapper. And I see you. Hold on. Get out this cough, please. Hold on. I was like, I'm stuck in my throat. Sorry. It's OK. I'll fart in the mic. You know, I've never had COVID. Oh my God. I've never tried cooking. You've never lived two things I've never had. Yeah. That's why you never had it. You were in Florida. You'd pick it up real quick. Maybe leave that part in. Leave that. You could leave that whole. Florida Coke. You'll get COVID, baby. COVID. Coke and COVID Florida joke. Triple header joke. Leave that one in. Heather Feather. Did anyone ever call you Heather Feather? Yes. Or light is a feather. Yes. You can tell me the weather. Wear a pleather. Yeah. Yes. Pleather, leather. Yeah. Pleather, Heather. Did you ever, you're younger than I am. Did you ever see Leather Tess Cadero? No, what's that? She was like this girl on happy days. And then, yeah, there was just all the heathers. Yeah. You get all the Heather references. Heather Lucklier. Lucklier was the only Heather I knew. She's great. Yeah. She seems great. She seems fun. Do you know what she's dating? Lorenzo Lomas. Who the fuck is that? They're just both. It's like a camel. They're both like in their early 60s. And they both were like the hottest stars in the 80s and 90s. Yes, he's been married like seven times. But he's like very good looking. And he had a reality show called Are You Hot? This sounds familiar. Horrible. And he would take a laser and the girl would have to come out like a pageant and a bikini. And there'd be a panel like American Idol. And then he would take a red laser to show like that she's not hot because there's like a dimple in her. Sounds great. It sounds promising. Why didn't this show get picked up for 85 seasons? Are You Hot featuring Lomas? All right. Last topic before we wrap it up. Yes, I'm gay. Whose side are you on? Alex Cooper, Alex Earl. And what do you think is going on there? Let me get your take. I don't give a shit. It's team power and money versus team influencer doing coke. I mean, I hope they both have fun. I hope it's for PR, to be honest. It's not. I don't think it is. I don't think any of those are for PR. I never think two people get together. And I think like YouTubers back in the day would like date and stuff for something like that. Somebody beef. But this is not that. Well, I just think like if you have an unwell network and you're so successful, why would you meddle with this shit? Like, why wouldn't you just be above it? I don't understand. Well, some people think that she did address it. Alex Cooper, because she knew the article was about her husband coming out and she kind of wanted to distract from that. I'm going to go with team Earl just because she seems I've heard she's nicer. Yes, I've heard she's nice. She likes her Molly. Who doesn't? But she's nicer. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly. I mean, I don't want to. Yeah. And then Cooper just seems like a pain, like money, hungry, power, hungry, her husband's tyrant. I I'm like that energy. It's like we all poop. Yeah. You know what I mean? What's people say to themselves? Seriously, I'm like, please, you shit. It's fine. Right. You know what I'm saying? Let's go back. Let's go. So you have your tell everybody where they can see you and follow all your stuff and your live shows. So you've got the they can watch your show. Special comes out. Yeah. I'm on YouTube, Heather Shaw comedy, May 14th. It's called All Right. See ya. I'm always on the road. So just go to Heather. Yeah, you're going to be in Boston, Nashville, Bakersfield. That's the California. That's this weekend. I'm dying. I have to go to Bakersfield. Will I survive? Well, this you'll already been there before this airs. This is air after that. Bakersfield is beautiful. You know, it's the number one murder. It's like got a lot of homicides. Great. I'm going to kill. I I interviewed this girl who was a reporter and she all she wanted to do was be a crime reporter. And so someone said, then you should work in Bakersfield. And so she did. And she's really pretty. She's thriving. Yeah, she she got hell. Yeah. Got found a triple triple murder and did a whole podcast about it. Yeah. Bakersfield, baby. It was a fun time. Thanks for having me, guys. Love your math. Then you go. OK, then you have. Yeah, I've got Texas. Wait, coming up. OK, we have Fort Worth, Texas, Dayton, Sincish area. Kansas. Yeah, I'm hitting up all the hot spots in America, as you can tell. Oh, Phoenix. Phoenix and August. What's worse? Well, I'm going to melt. I know. But I feel like Caitlyn Jenner under the sun. Just. Ouch. But. I'm just showing this hot. I love the Caitlyn voice. So fun to do. All right, Donald. It's a marker with the M marker. You know, I have to tell you a funny story. So Caitlyn belongs to my country club. Yes, I love that. And I lead her. I had a Lala Kent and Amber. Do you know Lala Kent is from Bannerpump? Yeah. And Amber, which is amazing. They both were. They both were this had the same baby daddy. Yeah. Now they're like best friends. Great. And do a podcast. And they're both gorgeous actresses. And they understand. And my son just was like, I don't understand how they ended up with that guy. And I'm like, I'm like, you don't understand women just want a guy who likes them. Yeah, exactly. Love them, love bomb them and give them a couple of months. We're like, I guess you are my soulmate. Yeah, take notes, Drake. We're not like we're not picking. Yeah, it literally is that. Yeah, anyway, love bomb them. So I was telling some story about Caitlyn Jenner and I turned the corner and I'm in the golf cart where you can hear and there was Caitlyn. And I go, I go something Jenner and I go, you know, Brodie Jenner and bro. I was talking about Brandon and Brodie Jenner, yeah, who used to be on Princess of Malibu that Spencer Pratt like put together and produced. And I'm talking about that. And I go, you know, and I'm saying the word Jenner and I literally turn and they were like, oh, my God. Oh, how are you going to a later story? Love it. She's fun. I like her. The Phoenix people will want to go and be in an air conditioned place. That's true. It is inside of a seat. Where is that? Do you know? Yeah, it's at a mic drop mania. Nice. Comedy club. Oklahoma City. I'm here doing all. Long Island. That'll be nice. Yeah. Adding shows too. So we'll add some shows in there. Amazing. Yeah, it's fun. I go over. But your wife doesn't go with you. Only to city she wants to and nothing up there is something she'd go to. That's every comedy spouse. Yeah. In the beginning, in the beginning, they start, they go. Yeah, no, she's never been like that. And she hates it. Yeah, it's a lot of it's just you're just in a hotel for two days and then you get a club. It's not that you're not doing a lot. You know, I remember my good friend who was a comedian with me. She wanted to break up with her guy. And, you know, and I was like, well, you should, you know, like, you're not married. You don't have kids, like, you know, whatever. And then she goes, but. Who's going to want to see my act over and over again? I go, why does the boyfriend have to go? The audience. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I don't want my wife to watch my act. I'm like, you've heard this. You get it. You've heard my impression of Kaylin Jenner. You don't you stay home. She doesn't need to see this again. She doesn't even like it. She's like, I think you're hot, but your comedy is insane. But does she, but does she laugh all day with you? Like, yeah, we have fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we definitely have fun. She's funny. I think you're fun. Thank you. I had a lot of fun with another Heather. I, Heather's for Heather's keeping us funny for generations to come. It's going to be my new thing. Keep Heather's alive. Such a delight. Thank you for having me. I'm so glad you came. Yeah, I'm glad to be here. It's great. And it's, it's your name just at Heather Shaw. Heather Shaw is kidding on Instagram, but yeah, just take Heather's. I'll see you. She's a ton of followers and she posts really great, funny takes out of things. Thanks. Bye. Appreciate it.