Gianmarco Soresi: Divorce, Meltdowns, and Blocking Your Ex

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Save $80 with code SPACE80 at Talkspace.com. The following podcast is a dear media production. My mom, if I say bad, I say, mom, I have the worst day of my life. She goes, I hope so. Wait, what about me? It means like, I hope this is the worst. Oh, that's good. And I'm like, no, it's not good. It's not good. It doesn't feel good at all. Welcome to Good Enough. Oh gosh, today is a great enough episode because we've got the big cahooness. We went to Japan together. Well, first let's introduce him. Don't say we went together. So here's what happened. Wait. My name's Jamarco. OK, but Jamarco Serresi, I just want to say you are like so fucking funny and I'm so happy that you're on the podcast. You have a special called Thief of Joy that's available on YouTube. And you're doing like a global tour. You tour the world in a way that I'm like, did you invent that? You feel like the funniest guy in Brooklyn. And then there you are in Japan and everybody comes out to see you in Japan. We were both in Japan independently. OK. But then we had a dinner on New Year's Eve and with all of our couple friends. We know you guys are fucking. Look, don't try and bury the lead here. But Moshe kept saying, oh, Jamarco, he's so hilarious. But I knew Moshe. Like we had met. We had never met in person. Yes. Natasha, we had never met. Yeah, Natasha, yes. And so my girlfriend and I went to a Sumo show. Oh yeah. And we just so happened to see, oh my god, there's Natasha and Moshe and their daughter. And I'm like trying to catch their attention. Moshe is buried in his phone and Natasha sees me. True to the character Natasha's painted. Yeah. And I think Natasha thought, oh, god, a fucking fan in Tokyo because I'm waving like, hey, hey. And Natasha's like. I saw it twice. And then I moved away and I was like, no, I swear. Did you guys all come on? Is that really the vibe? If you had a fan in Tokyo, I'd be so excited to have a fan in Tokyo. Well, wait till this. No, Natasha. She's a fan for granted. Her and Chapeurone, they're both just. What happened with Chapeurone? Okay. So here's what, did you see this? So, so. Huge fan, by the way. A famous, yeah, a huge fan. A famous soccer player. I don't know anything about this, but, but I guess he wrote on Instagram that his daughter was so excited. They were eating breakfast at a hotel. She was, Chapeurone was there. The daughter like just walked by to confirm it was her. Made eye contact left. Yeah. Giggling, smiling. They even took a picture for his mind. Chapeurone beats the shit out of him. Close. Then a security guard comes over to the family and goes like, you need to not have your daughter harassing people, blah, blah, blah. And of course he posted everyone blame Chapeurone, but this is a security team. It's not necessarily hers. No, this doesn't feel like Chapeurone. Also, she's only been famous for like three years. Like you got to wait for that kind of flex. Yeah. Cause I don't know. I disagree with you guys. She did not do it. Oh, oh, okay. It wasn't her first time. I'm not gonna be desperate. I just found out about the story. Because now the country is banning her from performing at a festival. No. Yeah. And people are saying, well, you let Chris Brown perform here every day. It's all hypocritical. Whatever. She's getting way too much flack. Let her need her space. Do you guys even want to hear about the time I met Rihanna? What happened? She was not nice to me. How bad are we talking? We're talking. It's the much music video awards. And yeah, I was on video on trial many years in a row feeling like a celebrity in my own country. Nelly Furtado gave a quote from the show. She said, I love that you're a joke about how you put your thumb and Kanye's bum. Yeah. That's nice. Real joke for my past. If you gave me a stack of money the size of my thumb, which is worth repeating because Nelly Furtado remembered that joke. Okay. Into the Rihanna. I'm feeling puffed up. I see Rihanna at the after party and I'm like, you know, celebrities love me. I walk up to her. I go, hey, I love your stuff. Did I get a picture with you? And she looks me up and down and she goes, yeah, hold up. And then she walks away from me. I go, oh, she's got something. She's busy. She walks away from me. She starts gathering helium balloons. One, two, three, four, five, six helium balloons. Then she finds some friends. She looks back at me with a look of like, oh, she's still there. And I said, oh, she doesn't want to take a picture with me. This is the whole story? Wait for it. She grabs me. She stops me three times. No, yeah, the whole story is that I was so excited to meet her and then she just walked away and gathered helium balloons. I thought she was going to do something with the balloons. They suck in the air and go, leave me the fuck. Leave me the fuck. I'll lose her. Yeah. No, it's just like she didn't. I just, the helium balloons is very cinematic for me. I'm just remembering that image of like Rihanna doesn't want to hang out with you. But Rihanna projects herself as someone that would do that. So it's not surprising. I don't mind. None of you guys are trying to ban her from Brazil. Well, listen, when I was in Japan with Gianmarco, I got to know him and his girlfriend. And I have to say, I was very taken with your story about how you grew up and also really taken by how you, can I say your girlfriend's name? Tova, yeah. Okay. I don't know. No, it's fine. I understand. How you and Tova were so good with my daughter. You guys were like asking her real questions. I don't, I wasn't sure. Does Tova have a bunch of sisters? Is that where that came from? We're both oldest siblings. Okay. Because no one has ever been, no one child, child free has ever been that engaging with my daughter. I think, I like to think I have the skill of talking to kids like people. Well, because we were at dinners where she was the only child. Also your daughter's very mature and funny. I mean, like she just like, she's also great. I mean, not every kid. Kids appreciate that vibe of like, not like, good morning, you guys. It's like, no, what's up? Yeah, it's being able to talk just and also joke and also like, be bitchy and like a fun way. She loved how many exotic animals you were eating. Yes. Yeah. I bring a lot to the table. I bring a lot of like, kids will think this is cool. I ate. What are the three craziest things you ate? I went to this place, it was called Circus and Rice and it's like designed for here's weird shit to eat. So I ate some bare meat, delicious camel meat. It was a whole meat tray. A lot of bugs. And then the real thing I'm proud of is I ate a full baby sparrow. You're proud. One bite. You're proud of baby. Yeah. Yeah. Just so I could do a one bite. And it's like, it's like the worst kind of chicken nugget because it's it's got bones. It's got bones. I didn't think it was going to be one. I thought it was going to be one. It's on a stick. Oh my God. With the beak and everything. Beak and everything. Crunchy crunchy. Crunchy and. Worst chicken nugget? Like I'm in my head. Really you decide in your head like am I going to get sick from this or am I fine? It's a real mental game. Interesting. And so like I feel, oh I've pierced the ribs with my teeth and then you go don't think about that. Focus on the meat. And there was a little meat right in the belly that was the chicken nugget part. Yeah. Riding the belly. In the middle of the belly. I mean it's so not so not worth it to kill these baby sparrows for this as a review. I had to really push through and then in the end it kind of. And I love the mental like he mentally prepped himself for it. Do you with your daughter, do you are you feeding like like try this, try that. Yes, she loves it. She like is flexing that all the time. Thank God. She had like, what did she have? Jellyfish. She had like at a sushi place. What she had in Japan that was interesting. What was it? Like she had, oh fried puffer fish. Wow. They had it at the Rio con because you know that the Rio con food is very intense. It's very old school. No, it wasn't good. It was it's a very fishy breath. It's like imagine starting your day with like very fish heavy everything. You know what I'm gathering is like there's a reason why we're mainly doing chicken and beef. You know, and like we're all trying to like maybe that'll be the first person. It's like humans have been around forever trying this shit being like no octopus pussy is not it. Well, she was sawing it in octopus the other day and since I watched that, what was that documentary about the octopus? Oh no. It's called octopus pussy. No. It shows they get married and they have friends. It's my octopus is my girlfriend. My octopus friend or whatever it is. After I watched that and found out how smart they are and how those little suckers are so smart, but she hasn't watched that. Yeah. And so she's still really into the octopus. Eating octopus. Yeah. And I just I couldn't even have a bite of it. And so, but anyway, yes. I ate an octopus baby octopus with a quail egg in its head and I did it in one bite. For real? Well, this is this circus is really come for you. Yeah. It might be smart, but they replaced that brain with an egg and it was much better that way. John Marko's eating a real human baby foot with the little, well, I can't add anything after baby foot. Well, I have I have been thinking about something you told me a lot because I have so many friends going through divorces. And I remember you told me at dinner that your parents shuttled you from one from one house to another. Like you just had this memory of always having like suitcases and big duffel bag that was just stuffed with with everything. I had this neurotic thing. I didn't want to live that far away from each other, but every action figure. It wasn't like, well, I'm going to play with just the undertaker and Stone Cold Sea of Austin. It was all of them. The ring, not just the PlayStation to the PlayStation to and the N64 and just the gigantic duffel bag that I was too small to carry. Oh, it's like so such a metaphor for all the baggage. Yeah. And then every other day, like, like, because now I see parents have like three days with one parent, two weeks cycle, which I feel like is kind of common. But I hear all sorts of arrangements where it was, it was like, I mean, just to say it, it would be like mom's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Dad's Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Yeah. Mom's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Dad's Thursday, Friday, mom's Saturday, Sunday. Repeat, repeat, repeat forever until I stop speaking to them. Yes. And it was looking back like it was unfathomable to me of people like spend all their time with their mom and then summers with their dad. But looking back, I'm like, that's a much healthier lifestyle than this constant back and forth. The fact that the weekend was interrupted was the dumbest thing, because Dad's Friday, Mom's Saturday, Sunday. Every Saturday, I'm going to a different house. So if I'm doing a sleepover Friday night, I got a pack for the next day going to a different house. And I think that was really stupid. And just do week on, week off, have more time. I don't know. Yeah. What are your tips having lived death of a salesman child with the suitcase up to Yonkers? I guess. Have you read the play? I'm trying to appeal to the theater kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what is your like, it's one week on, one week off. Is the ideal having lived in? Because you can't tell kids just because they can't, or you can't tell parents just because they can't stand the partner that they can only see their kids in the summer. Yeah. I'm asking for a friend. Sure. I just think you need longer, you need long gaps. Like the idea that like, listen, it's on you. You weren't supposed to get divorced. So take the hit. You, it should just be week on, week off, week on, week off. Just longer. This idea of like three days here, two days here is when I look back and I'm like, well, that's crazy. Of course I felt scattered. Of course they didn't have a home. And I even have half siblings on my mom's side and my dad's side, but on my mom's side, they stayed there full time. And there were just certain elements that I don't think I got to experience with them because I wasn't there. You were always leaving. I was always leaving. That is so fucked up because it's making me realize the reason why this is the way it is is because parents are selfish. Well, yeah. They want to have their kid for three days. What do you think about the central house, asked me. Have you heard the other version? The rich person version. The rich person version, which is like there's one central house and then the parents are the ones that are coming in and out. If my girlfriend and I, if I got to live in a place without her overseeing, if I'm in a hotel for two days and she joins me for the third day, she goes, what the fuck happened to her? Yes. She's a very take charge type of gal. Yes. I mean, we got into a, this woman wouldn't give me my money back. Yes. And like I paid her for some ice cream and then she just like took the money and started talking to her friend in Japanese no less. I love this lady. And then Tova comes up and got our money and like I tried, Mosha tried, but I was like, I want that woman in my life. How did Tova do it? I don't know. She goes, no, the money that she gave you, and Tova goes, I can see it. It's right there. Like she hadn't even put it in the register yet. Yeah. I'm like, I want her in charge of my life. Sure, me too. That's what we're doing. But the idea of her coming into a home that you've been inhabiting for a week. I don't, I don't know how people could possibly do that with their kid. And that feels like weird and surreal. Like, like, look, the kids, it has to get used to the fact that there's two different homes. I think it's more about just the time. You gotta have. The time spent. You gotta have space and time. And it's really hard because this is all done under duress. This is all calculated with someone that you loathe maybe in the moment. That is such a funny thing. Yeah. I mean, it's not funny. It's sad. But it's like, yeah, you're like a partner. Your partnership is with someone you hate. Yeah. Or triggers you. Well, I think, John Margo, you're like a perfect person to have on because you, despite having this sort of like, and if you listen to a special. You talk about a lot of this. You talk about your fucked up family and your experience with living in these two different shooting homes. And, but you look at you, you ended up, I'd say, perfect in some way. Talk of the town. I'd say you're pretty perfect. I fantasize about being able to talk to like divorced people, like to counsel them. But the problem is that they hate each other. What are you going to do? So then I guess the very first thing that you're saying is if you're going to split up and you have kids, number one primary, and this is like not, you know, it's obviously people know this, but number one, you got to work on your communication with each other. Sure. Sure. It's easier said than done though. Of course. I mean, it just depends. It just depends how toxic the people are. But there are people that like deeply want to have their families, but deeply don't want to be together. But the deeper part is that they want their families. And now we have people that are openly like you talking openly about your experience is helpful because that's a motivator that your parents did not. But they tried it. Like they, you know, they had, I remember the Thanksgiving's at my mom's house where my dad was invited. Yes. My dad's stepfather would like his, his version, he would, I wouldn't call it like violent, but his version like punishing my sister's abuse. He'd say, present your hand. And then they would and he go, to who? To who? To my sister's. Never to me. Of course not. What? My dad would murder him. But so, you know, then, then my father who's, who's, who's trying to stir up trouble, but he goes, what was that? And they start fighting about. And the Thanksgiving people? Oh my God. She was mixing her peas and the potatoes and who knows. Everybody's, if I, Shauna and I divorced and I go to a Thanksgiving and someone is slapping my child's hand like that, I'm fucking. Of course, but it wasn't. But what if they're slapping your child's sibling? That isn't mine? That isn't yours? That isn't mine? Yeah. Then I'm just testing under the table. I'm like this fucking guys are losing it. Sure. Okay. I have one thought, two thoughts. First thought is you actually have less communication with the person you don't like, your ex spouse, if you do the one week on one week off, because you're not constantly like meet you here, meet you there. What's that? You know, it's like all the back and forth. And I think that's like to alleviate the idea of like, oh my God, I'm not going to see my kid for a week. I think that there should be within that week, you go take the kid out to dinner, drop them back off at home. It's like, what do you think of that jump? Yeah, I'm trying to come up with a perfect starter pack for, for a mother that's listening to this podcast and is like, I want to leave this motherfucker, the perfect starter pack. I know what the problem is. Or father. If you want to leave this motherfucker, you go, I don't want my kid to spend too much time with this motherfucker either. That's not necessarily, no, it might just be, I don't want to spend that much time with the guy. Or the gal. I'm just saying like, they, my parents, they used to do, we used to do a monthly dinner, the two of them and me, and it failed. It collapsed immediately. Collapsed. I mean, I think I have a choice. Every time they bring a present, like a Pavlovian, like this is good. And then like second or third time, they got in a fight. My dad left the table before the appetizers arrived. And I remember it. I was very young, but I remember that. So they were still kind of in love with each other. I don't, I don't, it's hard to fathom them having chemistry. My dad still says, how's your mom? And I'm like, come on. Come on, what is this? So I have that. Oh yeah, my mom would always say that. How's your father? I mean, it's so loaded with like. It's like, why are you putting this on me? Now I have the ick. But now here's another question I have. Would you, John Marco, be successful? Do you think as successful, had you not had all of these challenges you had to rise to? Sure. Who's to know? My dad's pretty crazy. I could, it could be a different art form, but he's, he's nuts enough. I think I still would have gotten to stand up at some point. Oh, that's good. Did you go back? When did they get divorced? You were a kid? My, my parents got divorced when I was five. I remember my dad was never really around. He was like always trying to start a nightclub that would fail. He had this one called top of the rocks. It was like he would, my mom would like iron his suits and then she'd find cocaine and then he'd come home and he'd slap her around for finding the cocaine. It was like not good. But then I remember my dad, this is my thought. He had his cleaning on his back and he just came up to me in the kitchen and shook out, put out his hand. He goes, see you later kid. And I was like, where are you going? He's like, I'm going to be gone for a while. I'm leaving. And no one talked to me. No one said anything. And then he was just kind of, he was already gone though. So it was just kind of like, then my mother, it was like dealing with her breakdown, because I think she had three kids. Well, I know she had three kids. But I think the three kids by herself, no money. Nuns would come to the house with baked beans like this big, like something you could not open. We had like stored in our drawers all of this like canned goods that were like for the cafeteria. We didn't eat them. You seem really hurt by this. No, I mean, you're like laughing about her like this is the saddest childhood. This is so sad. Why do you think I'm working so hard to make my daughter have the most magical experience of her life? I mean, I'm just getting different pictures. First of all, I'm fixated on trying to start a nightclub. I'm like, I'm like picturing him like up late in his room with cocaine. He's like, all right, there'll be strobe. No, no, he started them. They just would they would fail. Got it. Do you did you and Moshe discuss like, you know, when I talked to him about marriage, my discussion is really about divorce. What would be like go like do you? When you talk to your girlfriend about marriage, well, because divorce was so traumatizing because I think it's like it's kind of like, you know, you don't set up the rules of warfare in the midst of war. You try to do it in a time of peace. You know, you try to talk about, no, it's true. If you had a kid, what where are you both coming from? And obviously your emotions might change how you act on a basis. But like, do you ever discuss like before having a kid, like if we ever, if we ever got divorced, did you? I approached it more like, don't ever say the D word. Like it was kind of your dick. Like it was kind of like, we don't, we don't talk about that. That was just my instinct. But I don't know. I mean, your instinct comes from trauma of like the man with the cleaning being like, see you later. I think it was more just like a romance instinct. I was always trying to like, I had a lot of, you know, estrogen pumping through my veins. So I was like, how do we keep this romance alive and the magic and the mystery and we don't say the D word. You know, like I wasn't very practical about it. I think when we, when Shana and I were getting married, that was more when it was like, yeah, this does seem more like, okay, we're going to throw this party and then what happens if it doesn't work out is like, that's the stakes of the party. The party's stakes are like, we're also signing this thing that says it's going to be very hard to uncouple this. So we, I think before we got married, that was a big conversation of like assets. And like I had, you know, You signed a prenup? No, we just talked about it. We were like, okay, so I, you know, you know, I had that Canadian I'll be recorded that conversation. No, I mean, now we have kids. So like she takes everything she wants. Assure. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes I think my hesitation to get married is because I'm like, well, I can't get divorced. Yeah. And I'm trying to remind myself like, yeah, you can. Like it's like it is an opt. Like it's almost in a reverse way. I'm like, well, I know all this data. I should never enter something that would lead to me getting a divorce. I mean, what would make me more like following my parents footsteps than getting a divorce who would feel awful. I would love this to be the beginning of your vows. I've had the thought of the vows, of course, and being like, no, don't, you know, knowing to not start with any kind of quibbling or net like that the vows is like any theater piece is like this is for a specific purpose and that's a good feeling. Yes. And not like, here's, here's my complex nuance thoughts about why this is bullsh**t. But I'm doing it anyway. How strong is your desire to be a father? I love kids for sure. It's just weather. I love, I also love my touring crazy life. We're such gypsies, comedians, even actors. Like it's like, I was just shooting a movie and every actor is like coming from some other other job, their families are at home. They're like going from Atlanta to Santa Fe. Like they're just like they're like bopping all over the world. I'm like, how are you raising your children? It's do you agree with you're there to you're like, I have honored the market on the two line part. Great. That's kind of like, you know, or the one scene, two scenes. I'm not the I'm talking about like the stars of the movies. Like I used to feel bad. I'm like, oh, I guess I'm just like a bit player, but it's kind of perfect. It is perfect. However, I think if you do take on a job that pulls you this way or that way in the ethos of this podcast, which is good enough, is like, who the f**k cares? It's like, OK, cool. So you're going to be gone. OK, cool. So they're going to miss you. It's like you kind of just have to like, most is away for three months. Yeah, most is away for three months. So how do you feel? I mean, is this is this longest? Let's just say the cabinets and drawers are always closed. Sure. The table will say that to me, too. Do you keep everything open? Are you messy? Oh, it's a disaster. Disaster compared to compared to Tova. When we were, you know how it is when you're with another couple and you use whatever they say against your partner, be like, look, they seem to be you talked about how messy your place was. And because of him. Yeah. But you were like, chill about it. At least that's how you presented because I'm worn down. Yeah. And there's been like 10 years of complaining. There was definitely a fight about we went to the Ryokan and I just make things a little bit messier, faster. And it wasn't that messy, but it was a fight. And I definitely was like, Natasha and Mosha, they it was a mess over there and they stay were fine. They were fine. And they got a kid and you're mad at me. You just a backpack on the floor. I think it definitely came up as like a messy people and clean people will always make each other comes. You need to balance. We were in Paris and we stayed at fucking where was where is Marie Antoinette? Where'd she live? Versailles. Yeah. We stayed in a hotel that was on the property of Versailles. It was so beautiful. It was so expensive. We could only go there one night. I saved up for it. The second we got there, he just dumped out his whole backpack. Of like dirty socks and his pods, the Zin pods all over this like beautiful furniture and I'm just like, this is such and we just immediately got into a fight. And it's just, you know, when you when you painstakingly pick the place, it's just really hard. I have a thought because I'm the messy one. And last week we had Shana on my wife. She said she's messy. I will say, I think if she was here right now, she would also agree. I have been making movements towards the good side. So I'm not clean, but I'm like, there is an there's an amount of it that is like, this is comical and like you're absolutely like disrespecting what I care about for my wife. Like she cares that things are tidy. So I'll put effort towards it. And I think that's the best you can ask for is that like there's effort being put towards. He's my husband is definitely putting effort towards it. You know, and I figured out the way to do that. I'm putting a list. You're putting effort. I put an effort always. I dated someone where she was she was messy too. And like we lived in a pigsty. Yes, it was bad. Yes. So that's why you need the balance. And if it's too, too clean people, then it's I told Tova, I said, I said, the thing I never want to be is it's a scene from American Beauty where Kevin Spacey, shout out. He and his wife, there were marriages on the rocks and there's this moment where they're about to fuck in the living room and like they're on the couch and she goes, Oh, careful, because he's holding a glass of red wine. And she interrupts the moment to be like, careful, you might spill it on the carpet and it's over and it's over. And it's just like it's it's just this life they've created. And I say to Tova all the time, I say, like, that's just the one thing I don't want. I don't want to like live in like a place where we're so terrified. And but like putting your sex oil on the bed frame. It's like a nice material bed frame. Like you kind of do start to ruin. I got to still say something. Yeah, don't put the sex oil on the next material. Sure. I would say but don't interrupt my like if you're about to get divorced and you finally are about to make love again. Don't ruin. Don't you got to let it go. These material objects. OK, I think what we've learned is go to couples therapy. If you're fucking drink white wine. Oh, that's smart. Ah, and, you know, really try to make it work. Because divorce is hard on the kids. But I don't know. That's too judgmental. Yeah, I don't know. What if you're in an abusive relationship? You got to get out. You got to get out. And also, like there's just better like John Marco, you've laid out some the note behind the note of what you're saying is I do think even though you're like, trust me, if I was to tell my parents this advice, they would not have been able to shift that there is like that. Oh, sorry. No, no, no, I didn't want to interrupt. I'd have to talk to you. No, you go tell me. I think there's just a deep whenever people talk about like the way they they speak about their ex. And of course, this is the caveat. If it's abusive, if it's violent, yeah, let's get out of there. But whenever people talk about like their ex in a way, you know, when people sometimes be like, oh, my ex was such a narcissist. And the one before that was such a narcissist. They'd be like, OK, and and this culture of like, and I understand how it gets reinforced, but like never speak to your ex again. And you never talk to this person. You block, blah, blah, blah. I go, this is how you're going to set up every aspect of like romance and your dating life. And then when it's the most high stakes version and there's money in a house and a kid involved, now you're going to act like a reasonable human being. Get the fuck out of here. We have a culture that that does that that in the interest of taking care of kind of immediate emotions is like just block that person, cut him out. Don't ever speak to them again. And also in relationships with jealousy, don't ever speak to your ex. Don't I don't don't be friends with your ex. And you know, I understand the reasons for that, too. Yeah, I just go if you have never confronted having to deal with someone you used to be in a romantic relationship with, and you sure as fuck aren't going to master it when you're doing it involving a child and money and money and like schedules and the messages start talking to your ex. Yeah, practice. Yeah. Yeah. So that you get good if you need it. You're not capable of talking to your ex's. You should not be having a kid. I think that's true, too. And I used to when I was in my early 20s, I was super jealous. I met Sean and my wife and she had she like had exes and she still called them babe and I'm like, wait, excuse me. That was it. And when you get divorced, it's going to be great. It's going to be fantastic. You guys will never get divorced. She came into our podcast. They kissed. She cried. I mean, we had sex on that podcast. If you want to go back to last week, no one's ever been in love and then got a divorce later. I know. I'm saying no, I never have. No, I think that. But I think that this is like what you're saying is like, it's true. We should be comfortable with, I think the best relationships are ones that we continue to choose. And at the same time, I think we're in a culture that is like pretty like immediate gratification attitude about like whether you're being taken care of in the relationship, you need to work towards it. I'll never forget my very first hosting job in real life on YTV. There was a camera woman, a French Canadian lady, and she was miserable smoking at the bar at the end of a shoot day. And I'm like, what's wrong? She goes, I'm in a relationship. I was with the woman for. Six years and Mary, we're happy. I meet a young girl and she loves me. She's very exciting. Very new relationship. I leave my wife, I go with her. Now it's been four years with a new girl and. It's the same shit. And I'll never forget that. It's like, don't great accent, Sabrina. That's good. I mean, it's emblazoned in my mind. And it's like, I get that. I'm like, that has to be, you know, metabolized by a lot of people. And at the same time, I think some people are just like, well, I'm stuck in a bunch of bullshit. What am I going to do? And I'm like, it's like deciphering whether there's something that you can do, whether it's your attitude, shifting or, but like, don't stay in a dead, dead, dead, dead zone, but also it's the same shit. But and if you're picking, if you haven't picked yet, you want to pick someone whose shit is like, like, there's a scale for the shit, a sliding scale, a sliding scale. Like I would rather have someone messy who drags me into their chaotic schedule on an almost hourly basis than someone who I'm constantly afraid they're cheating on me. Yes. Or they're trying to start a nightclub. They're trying to start a nightclub. Red flag. Or they're they're rude to waiters. Or I don't know whatever it is, you know what I mean? Like there are, you know, or I'd rather have my husband be DJing than like going to strip clubs. DJing is the devil that you know. Jean-Marc, you talked in your special about freezing embryos, right? You didn't freeze eggs. Eggs. You got to freeze embryos. I'm sorry. OK, thanks. I'm sorry. Great. You got to freeze embryos. Why do you do eggs? Well, because we because embryos are very because that's like deciding to have a kid. You're not. You're putting it. It's you're hoping some of them don't thaw out during the transfer. And then it's scary. I would see people, people get divorced and they have embryos in stock. Yeah. Oh my God. There's a new to us. No, you're right. But they hold much better. But anyway, your stray vibes with the sex you're having, it's going to be. No, we don't do it like that. You're going to be, you know, go like that. What do you go like this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll show you a video. Well, but so you froze some eggs. You have potentially the intention of getting married, potentially the intention of having kids, but also he's 30. His star is on the right. You are so successful. You're only getting more successful. How did you harness this international audience? I just think it's it's social media. I just leaned in like every front and I I I was doing it myself. And then I built a team and it was just the first priority. And when is the social meat, like getting your clips out? Yeah, getting the clips out. But it's like, you know, every podcast and a whole schedule. There's probably 30 separate clips that went up today. And I didn't post a single one. Are you kidding? Yeah, between Snapchat, now, Substack, Threads, Blue Sky. Substack is real. Substack is coming back. And now people are just reading, writing things. Now there's more. You can post videos and stuff. So we're there. And believe me, the second I get afforded, it's someone to do a LinkedIn. Whatever, foreign apps. What do you mean, LinkedIn? LinkedIn has posts and videos. Are they all different videos? Or it's like, I mean, because the truth is, you have the goods. You've got so many funny bits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But will you you're saying 30 videos are going up? Not 30 different. Not 30 different videos. But like, you know, every is probably at least one new podcast clip every day from the pod, probably three to four standup clips. You know, the special, everything's becoming a clip. And it's just, yeah, so it's just it's it's it's everywhere. And I just think of it the way that back in the day, if you were on NBC, they would be in charge of putting that on some channel in Japan or whatever. And you got to do it yourself. So I'm finding my own subtitle people. I've just I'm getting into a dubbing. Someone made a Ukrainian dub of Thief of Joy and it has 100,000 views on YouTube. And you go like, oh my God, like, and they don't they don't speak. Most of them watching that, I'm sure they might not speak English enough to see a show, but they'll consume my media and all the Ukraine. And then, you know, who knows, I would argue if you weren't that little boy packing those action figures into that duffel bag, you wouldn't have the transcribing. Yeah, I don't think I have the capacity to have a touring life. I think all the time about how, wow, you recreated your childhood, you're packing every week to go somewhere else and you're overpacking. You still got your action figures. I wish I wish I did buy some in Japan, actually. You're going to when you have a kid, which you might, right? What are you leaning towards? You're going to have a kid. You're going to have so much fun getting little toys with them. For sure. Because I can tell the way I split up when I said action. I'll be so into that. I love to go to a little Japan town and just and have a budget and get a bunch of little figurines and be just as invested. Yeah, I'm excited for that. I'm excited for the media, like the movies. There's so much of like good kids movies I haven't seen in the last 10 years or so. Do you have like a father model that you think you're going to be? Like when you see this kind of father, you're like, I'll be that kind of dad. See, I had very lax parents and I feel like I'm going to be an over-disciplinary and that's the fights tov and I won't have. My dad let me quit a lot of things. And I was very lazy. Yeah. And ate like shit. I mean, talk about I don't even when it comes to food. I'm going to have to talk to someone about how to talk to a kid about food. Just like I because in my mind, I'm like, get the fucking candy out of here. Get the shitty cereal out of here. We're going to go. We're going to go to it's. Sparrows are nothing when you hear the other version, you hear the other version. And then the kid goes to school and that's where they snack on Snickers. Don't trash their bodies and their brains with candy. I mean, I don't know why I've let my husband take it. He got these these like cluster sour nerd bumpy things at the movie theater yesterday. I know what you're talking about. The two of them ate the whole bag. They're like nerd clusters. I took one bite and I was just like, I almost called RFK. I was on RFK. I was on the time. I became a maha head. Yeah. Just from that one little bite. Yeah. All right. Listen, we. We do have a meme of the week. We have something we want to play. What is this podcast about? Great. It's a cool guy parenting podcast. It's for parents that. Oh, it is a parenting. OK, good. Good. It's for parents who don't mind listening to things that are not just about parenting. But also parents that are chill, cool and people who have interesting stories about what happened to them. It's also for non parents. But that's why honestly, like spending time with you, emotion, your daughter in Japan. Like I I, you know, I take it in a great deal because I go like, what is it to have an artistic life with one kid and also also the degree of like your kid knows the world. You know, you're you're someone's cursing. It's not like, you know, I have that liberal, more lucid, like just seeing it in practice and seeing it functional. It's nice. Did we inspire you? Very much. Well, you know, it's funny because like we dropped off at this cooking camp recently and like we were late. We had like we scram we were scrambling. We forgot like the time or whatever and we get to the class and every kid has their water bottle out. And then I look, we don't have a water bottle. We go to the car. We find this like broken like plastic Poland Springs and we're transferring water and we put it there and then we had to put her name on it. And it was just like such a metaphor. But then Moshe was like, we're artists. We're not going to be there at the, you know, we're just not going to have the same, you know, expensive water bottle. Like I have the water bottle, but I don't know where it is right now. Honestly, that could be a poster for good enough. It's like all these meticulous water bottles and then like a Poland Spring crossed out good enough. That's it. That's the way to do it. But it's like we, and then Moshe makes me feel better about it because I feel all the pressure and he's like, we're artists. She's got a cool life. She gets to see all these things instead, you know, it's like, and she's actually into it. So we are Aaron and Sarah Foster. We have a podcast. We're here to basically ask you to listen to it. We're just trying to help you guys not make the same mistakes that we made in life. Yeah, we made a lot, especially me. I really went down some dark roads trying to save you guys from that. Our podcast is called the world's first podcast. We are technically the sisters behind the nobody wants this podcast. It's inspired by us because you wrote it. So yeah, that's true. But when I write, I am inspired by myself all the time. Right. That would make sense. You inspire you. We're going to wrap this up. OK, guys, go check it out. World's first podcast. Let's see the meme. My controversial take on hanging out with toddlers. It's trip sitting. If you know, you know, if someone's tripping and they're having a bad time, they're like spiraling, they're freaking out. What you don't want to do is be like, here's why you shouldn't freak out. I'm just trying to do this. So you just shouldn't freak out about it. Right. Like that's just going to make them freak out more. Maybe your toddler is getting stuck in an emotion. All right. Time for a vibe shift. Maybe it's time for a snack. Have you looked outside yet? Whoa. Beautiful, isn't it? Take them to see a tree. Bring them something nice to look at in your hands, something small and pretty, a little leaf. Put on some music. The vibe shift is a very powerful tool for like a tantrum that's going nowhere. But then sometimes those feelings really need to be felt, right? Someone's going through a tough part in the trip. It doesn't mean they need a distraction. Like maybe they just need someone to really like hold space for that emotion. You know what I mean? Give them a little hug, be like, I'm here for you, man. But you know what's funny? She's clearly like a nanny and not a mom. She's clearly tripping right now. I do like the advice of going outside. Like I find with my two year old, it's like that it's so money to change the interior exterior location. Huge. You go outside, you say, look at the moon. It's like it's it's all done. Everything's done. Are you saying that you're like, well, sometimes you got to teach a lesson. So emotionally invested in every moment as a mother, that it's really hard to just be like, look at the bird. I don't know. It's just like I'm trying to like correct trauma. Like you're like, I'm doing the nightclub. The cleaning is on the back and he's leaving, but it's not for you to take on. I mean, but I actually really do like this advice. I don't have I mean, sometimes nannies. I mean, by the way, she might be a mom, but like I could be a mom. But she does look by way, you're taking this with kids. I am taking this like, oh, if my girlfriend's having a meltdown. Yes. I'm like, yeah, I should think of it like a shrooms trip. Yeah, look at this tiny leaf girl. Yeah, look how little it is. There's like veins in the leaf if you really pay attention. I feel like it's back to the it's always the conversation, especially with couples of what is it, a prescriptive versus like, do you want a solution or do you just want to be heard? I feel like that's so much of everything. Where do you land on that? Because I am so prescriptive. I can't get out of it. I'm like a jail. I I can be overly prescriptive, but I think Tova Tova is prescription first. And I'm more often the one being like, I don't want an answer. I'm scared of dying. Just hug me. And she's like, why would you be? And I'm like, please, you can't reason this right now. I feel like I might be dying. But we're both we're both prescriptive people. And also, like, I think sometimes like, I do have good ideas that you might not have thought of. Sure. Why don't you want to hear that? But that's that. But that's what. Why do you want to be held right now? You know what he's saying? Sometimes you're just not ready. I mean, I guess that's like the switch in this video where I was like, wait, I thought you were just telling a tip before I put. And then she's like, and then sometimes you just need a hug. It is like that is so life is like recognizing when you want one or the other or when your partner wants one or the other, when your kid needs one or the other. I mean, how do you do with like with like tantrums, like disaster? I think this is a good this is a really good tip is like a tantrum is because you're like spiraling. You're like, this is like it happens for us, too. It's like, oh, my God, I didn't get this. This is not going to happen. Everything's going to be I'm going to lose my fucking house. Like it's just like from one cascading sort of called catastrophic catastrophic. Thinking it's like that's what happens to kids in the moment when they're like, I want this thing. Why can't I have this thing? And the best form that I think as a parent, like my biggest hack would be changing the environment and changing the focus. It's like, OK, cool. So you're like spinning out actually setting is doing this with with Rowan, which is like now I'm taking it to I go breathe. And then that's he's like, he like knows that we're not going to address. We're not like moving forward until he does a big breath. And then from there, we can like kind of like pivot to see when my girlfriend's having a meltdown and I say, honey, breathe. Yeah, it doesn't work at all. Want to try pointing at your nose? Honey, honey, breathe. Maybe what about your nose? I think it's the she doesn't want to hear your voice in that moment, but she doesn't want this honey. Are you mad at me or you're not breathing? Well, I think you guys are a great couple. It's very sweet. You have a lot of. We had such a good time. We spent so much time together. It was really, it was really beautiful. And you guys really seemed so happy. And I really I was really touched by how you welcomed my daughter because, you know, most of the time, like comedians, New Year's Eve dinner, and there's one eight year old, you know, it's like that can be a bummer. I dig it. I just I also think truly, like in a selfish way, I'm like, it feels crazy to consider having kids given the lifestyle I had because I don't confront kids being around. We just had friends who had a had a kid and they were supposed to come up for a Passover and they're like, we don't know. And I'm like, I would I'm begging you. I want to be around a two week old. And if they're crying and shitting, it's like I want to know what that is. I want to be informed about this thing. I grew up in New York City alone in an apartment. I haven't really since I was a kid, experienced what it's like to be like surrounded by children who need tending to and the village aspect of it. So like I always enjoy it. I mean, the here's the reason why you should have a child is because they're angels. Like we get to live get to do around these angels and then you don't know who Trump is and they don't have social media and they don't have phones and they're not already a part of like that society. And by the time they know who Trump is, you offload them, you start again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're the eyes from the outside vibes. What do you see parents failing at? And what do you see parents winning at? Oh, gosh, I mean, truly, it's it's embarrassing. I find I'm really reaching that age where now I have people have they're having kids now, you know, New York lifestyle is happening in like mid thirties. It's happening. And every it's taken everyone an extra two years to actually get pregnant. You know, because it's just where everyone started late. Yeah. And so I'm still figuring out. I don't know what people are doing well or not. I might not my girlfriend, she grew up in this community, so all her friends have from back then of six, seven, eight kids. And that's a whole different thing. I do. All the time. So I don't I don't know. I do the thing I always think about is like screen time because I've seen. It's always hard. I've seen like there was there was someone I knew and they were problematic, but their kid was a fucking nightmare and like screaming, crying. And in that moment, you're like, yeah, put the fucking iPad and go to his fucking face. This is awful. And it's so, you know, it is fucking. It's that nurture versus nature thing where like, like, you know, your your daughter was like, well, behaved and sweet. And it's easy to go. Oh, it's because you both are great parents, but it's also like maybe maybe had a second one, they fucking suck. I don't know. I don't know. So it's it's hard to judge. I don't think I judge fully from the outside because I'm like, did you get lucky with with your kid? Is it raising well? Is there something from your childhood that you know you will do that you that you really appreciated that you're one of your parents or step parents did there? Is something you would you would keep? Yeah, I really want to like build in more tradition. Like my my I've always like board games. And I think Tova was the first one to be like, I always talk about that the only time my stepdad and mom and we all got along. New Year's Eve, we'd play like board games. And it was like, we needed a game to get through all the other shit. Yeah. And she's like, that's why you love board games with the kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. What was your favorite? It's like a neutral. I liked cranium. Like I would have done charades. I like more simple and I like to perform and sing and draw. Baldur Dash? I don't know if I've done that one. I don't know cranium. Baldur Dash, cranium. I think I'm just getting to the point where I could play Scrabble with her because she can read. Really? I don't know. You're probably destroying her. Just annihilating her at Scrabble. I always kind of not let her win, but I'm like aware that she's but Mosha's just like like, well, we'll play trivia for kids podcast and he just answers right away. I'm like, I go yesterday I showed him, I go four kids. Like he's like, you would think you would like wait for the. No, if you want to feel smart though, play trivia for kids because you're like red, mercury, oxygen. So Jean-Marc, tell us about your podcast. I have a podcast called the Downside and it's me and my thank you. It's my good friend Russell Daniels who's a Broadway performer and very funny comedian and no kids married and is resolute. No kid. No, no. That Broadway lifestyle, they don't fit in, honey. You got to go to the theater at five right at bedtime. Is he a gay man? No, he's a straight man. Straight man. So maybe he can't decide that he doesn't know what's going to happen with that penis of his and all the drippings that come out. Sure, that's true. I don't know how it goes. Yeah. And we bring on guests and we have we have a complaint. I want to save place where people can be negative, which I often when I am in LA, it's tough. There's some there's an over positivity in LA that really can bother me. Someone, someone, I saw it happen, but someone said to someone who just moved here, they're like, yeah, I'm here for two weeks. And this person said, don't you just love it? Yeah. And in my mind, I was like, you've set them up for if they don't love it. They disappointed you now with the real feeling. And I feel like that. So it's a place, my podcast, please complain, get negative and you're supported. You know, it's going to say you should be thankful. Yeah. No one's going to say that. Great. Yeah. That's a great idea for a podcast. You know what else my friend would say? Like, don't be the perspective police. You know, like someone's like, I feel so bad. Well, you could be. You could be starving in another country and those people don't even get food. Like that was my parents parenting style. Yeah, really? My mom, if I say bad, I say, mom, I have the worst day of my life. She goes, I hope so. It means like, I hope this is the worst. And I'm like, no, it's not good. It's not good. It doesn't feel good at all. But I'm funny though. OK. She's not validating you, which is the style now. Yes. But it's like, I kind of like that. This is what I would say to my mom. Mom, I had the worst day. She'd be like, well, there are kids in Africa that were stolen from their home and raped. Then she did not say that. Yeah, I'm like, there's a nurture piece to my game as it's that. And those girls, mom was saying to them, you're kidding. I hope this is the worst. Oh my god. Well, make sure to follow Gianmarco on one of his 90. Yeah. Get it. And then listen to the downside. And if you feel like transcribing this podcast in any of your favorite languages, go for it. Yeah, dub it. Dub it, baby. Well, let's hope our children are as cool and as successful and gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous as Gianmarco Suressi. Yes. OK. All right, we love you. We love you so much. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.