The Greek Interpreter - Part One

Indeed presents. Highers, you can't afford to get wrong. Like payroll manager. Hi, I was just checking my pay slip and it's all in Japanese yen. Yes, you're welcome. Sorry? Given the exchange rate between the pound and the yen, you're technically a millionaire now. Don't spend it all in one place! I can't really spend it anywhere. This is a job for sponsored jobs! This is what happens when you don't sponsor your job on Indeed. So the next time you need someone to get the job done right, get matched with quality candidates with an Indeed sponsored job. Visit Indeed.com slash NextHire and sponsor your job today. For just £6 a month, binge ad-free adventures in full and have access to so much more over at Patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Hi there everyone. Welcome to the Sherlock and Co podcast. Things are back to normal. Well, normal for the Sherlock and Co podcast. I am your host, Dr John Watson, and this is the adventure of the Greek interpreter. Yeah, this adventure contains... Well, it contains something that I don't think you would expect. I didn't expect it. It's five parts. I hope you enjoy it. Because I did not. Ah, Christ. Watson! Jesus! Is everything all right? Yes, I'm fine. Thank you. I was just getting into bed. Why is your laptop open? I was doing some work. No need. Mariana is much more capable of podcaster. What? Nothing. I said it's a rather fine evening. You should get some fresh air. Yeah. Sherlock, no. The traffic noise is just... You're right. That can be disturbing. I shall close the road. Sherlock! Some well-placed signs, some traffic cones. I shall even dig a trench in the tarmac. I'll need Wiggins. Sherlock, can you please just... Sherlock. Wiggins, we're going to close Baker Street and dig up the road. On it. No. Stop. Sherlock. Just...no. Yeah, it's okay. I've got this all how I need it. I'm just a bit tender in places. That's all, mate. That's all. Okay? You're going to answer that? It's probably Wiggins. It's not. Who is it? I will leave you to your rest. Blood in your lungs. It was a cough. I'll examine your chest. We must get a doctor. You are getting a doctor to take it off. Sherlock! My name is Dr John Watson. Once of the British Army Northumberland Fusillier Regiment. Now, a true crime podcast that based in central London. I don't have much experience in criminology. So this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know. Join me as I document the adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Another slur, I think, Archie Boy. What is it? I'm just struggling a bit. To drink tea. Yes, actually, because I have to reach all the way over there to get the tea and the stitches. They're just... All the way over there, being the coffee table directly next to your seat. Yeah, that's right. The coffee table you had me move specifically so you could drink tea without those ridiculous noises. Oh, pain is ridiculous now, is it? Well, you've changed your tune. Yes, well, it is rather dragging on now, isn't it? I know I sound better momentarily, Sherlock. There's something called codeine. I make speaking after having tubes in my throat a lot easier and less sexy and gravelly. I was shot, okay, and put into a coma. It's serious stuff, mate. Which you walked out of to Baker Street. I wheelchair'd my way to a cab, first off, and he then drove me to Baker Street so that I could save your arse. My arse was saving the arse of our Spanish colleague. Your arse and her arse needed my arse because your arses were getting their arse handed to them by some arse. Now I have pain. Pain in my head, thank you very much. That's it, is it? The great crime-solving mind collapses at a simple discussion. It is not simple. Law is at a discussion. And this is an assassin complaining as compromise my buoyant mood. Boyant mood? You're in a buoyant mood. I was? My you're in a buoyant mood. What are you doing? Observing, deducing. Oh, are you now? Yes, I think I have proven my worth in such areas, I'm sure you'd agree. Why are you making that face? This is the face of intense serious study and analysis, my friend. That's right, I feel the constricting grasp of my examination. You have chocolate above your eye. How do you get chocolate above your eye? Aha, unable to comprehend something, are you? Well, the tables really have turned. Boyant mood. Boyant mood. Aha! I have it. I assure you you don't. It's a new client, isn't it? John? So you admit it? You knew you wouldn't be able to resist, you're an addict. This really is quite the performance. No cases, no, absolutely not. Look at me, Sherlock, this is R&R. Sitting in front of the television watching action films is not R&R. Rambo and RoboCop, mate. Five rambos, three RoboCops. Got plenty to be getting on with, haven't we, Archie Boy? Fine, I shall leave you both to it. Fine. Thought you were leaving. I am partaking in this sweaty gentleman's jungle adventures, thank you very much. By all means. So? So. Is it a client? Well, you don't want one, so why does it matter? Well, I mean... I... You know, I wouldn't... It's not like I'm quitting altogether. Why is your man here with the M16A2 US military standard issue fire-armed from 1983 to 1986? A fixing a flash suppressor to it. Because it's dark and the baddies have seen a muzzle flash? Trust me, mate. I know. Got shot, remember? Baddies. They are baddies, look at them. A rather subjective conclusion, but fine. They are baddies, OK? Rambo knows what he's doing. The manufacturers of his weapon that knew what they were doing. He does not. His gun has mated suppression hardware. See, there, that chamber, it's called the bird cage. Look, is it a client or not? No. Where is it, then? Where is this jungle meant to be exactly? The birdcalls are rather inconsistent with the climate. Sherlock, the buoyant mood, please, can you explain? You have exhausted your observations, have you? Yes. Just tell me why you are apparently so happy. Because of a funeral. What? A funeral? Yes, that's what I said. Perhaps the cacophony of Ringo's gunfire is deafening you. Firstly, his name is Rambo, John Rambo, and secondly, my hearing is fine. It's Moran's funeral, I shall be long. What? What did you say? You said your hearing was fine. That's not funny. I said it is the funeral of Sebastian Moran. I shall be long. Oh. Is that quite all right? It... that's... now. Today. Correct, but you are, of course, stricken, aren't you, John? Barely able to lift a cup of tea or to put chocolate into the correct hole in your face, it would seem. Yeah. You wouldn't want to come along to such an event. The funeral of the man you shot dead. Hmm. Want me to hold the cab? If you could. Ah! Two sexes. Quite sprightly now, aren't you? Don't just go get the cab. Bless me. This peaceful place. Will be surrounded by our love. Today we commit Sebastian Moran's remains to their resting place. May this ground hold peace for us as we remember. Earth to earth. Ashes to ashes. Dust for dust. Ensure and certain hope of the resurrection's eternal life. Death... in. Into the ground he goes. Back into the dirt from whence he hid. His commute to hell has shortened by five or six feet, so that's handy for him. How do you feel? Um, kind of bruising sensation on my chest. No. With this. With Sebastian Moran. Yeah. Um... I mean... Apparently you can't speak ill of the dead, so I'll just say nothing. Not one of your specialities. Silence? No. Is everything alright? Your phone? No. No is not the time to answer a call. Okay, but you said that yesterday. And the day before. There will be a time. Okay, when? Not now. Or any of the previous days. Mm-hmm. Right, great. What about you? What did you want to... Get out of this? Yeah. I had rather hoped to see Moran's master. Yeah, thought as much. But we have a small collection of very ordinary men. Moran's mother. A long lost love, perhaps, in this woman here. And that's only because she works nearby on the checkout at the local furniture warehouse. God's sake. Blasphemy Watson. Amidst the deceased. How do you know that? Oh, very simple. Too simple. You smell that? Furniture wax. What? It's just a woman wearing all black. Furniture warehouse. She's in heels for goodness sake. She works with a till. You can see the carbon smudge and she is left on her hymn sheet. But there is a little speck of blood also. Observe her picking at her fingertip. Uh-huh. It is directed at not one tiny puncture wound, but two, ten millimetres apart. So a stapler, receipts stapled, most likely to larger invoices, delivery quotations and such. Heels, yes, but very uneasy in them, and not to mention one moment. Ah. Oh. Let me just... Ah. They're rubbing her heels so much so she put one of these in them. A bit of a cardboard. Are we going to give it back to her? Well, she discarded it. Perhaps she'd rather the discomfort of the friction from the footwear over this edge protector. For furniture? Yes, probably have some in the car when she slipped into those heels. The shirt, unlike the heels and accompanying blazer to the pantsuit look... is worn daily. See how the coarse lint collects under the collar at the back? You can see some on the sleeves. Let's just tumble-dry a lint. That amount? No. Those are from packing fibres, not a feature of domestic life, but storing moving of large-scale items. Absolutely. Wow. That's impressive. Not really? No, it is. You should be really. That is a proper, proper skill. No lap compression sign on the blazer, so it could have been on a hanger in the car. But when taking a look at her behind the knee compression lines, she's doing pretty well, don't you think? Not much, Creason. So, not a long journey, is the conclusion we can make. Also, her driving position is a little too far forward, denoted by the diagonal stress lines. Wow. OK then. Local furniture warehouse girl. Fair enough. Moran was so elevated, John, near the pinnacle of a multi-billion-pound venture in his brief persona of Bastion Rosemont. But not one mourner here is a person of wealth, of connection. I'd say with a rather rudimentary scan of these individuals, not one even of crime. He has been abandoned in death. Those links he made in the darker activities of his life were thinner than this sheet, which the hymns that lament his life are written. To be evil, to be wicked, is to be totally alone, dear companion. We must always remember that. These that have gathered here are the fragments, the detritus of his once ordinary life. He too was tangled in the web. He just didn't believe it. We may have a visitor, ever so brief, ever so distant, as if he does not wish to be seen. I see him. Have your eyes savour it, John, for there is no rarer sight than he and the spider himself. Can you make much out, but could... he's gone. And we shall go as well. To chase him? That would be a fool's errand, indeed, my friend. And is, er... is answering the phone a fool's errand? Oh, God, I need a painkiller top up. I'll answer it when I must. Which is not now. The heart makes judgments that the mind... Well, you don't have to keep doing the dramatic voice. I'm not answering it, no. Okay. Paint. Yep. Let's ring it again. Then answer it. It's his phone, I can't just answer it. Oh, right. Yeah, then no. No, no, no, that's not cool, I guess. I can't just answer it, can I? You just ask that. No, I know, but I can't. Right, that's... that's frowned upon. Correct. So stop asking. Stop ringing that. Yes, I see that. Oh, really, if you had a Robocop, the first thing you'd have them do is paperwork, rather than in the field type operations, apart from bomb disposal, I suppose. Well, not to get you too excited, but there is a 45-minute scene coming up of Robocop slowly filling out an MG11 CPS Advice Request form. Okay, first off, there's no need to be sarcastic. And secondly, an MG11 is a witness statement. A CPS Advice Request is MG3. Great. Well... You know, sometimes you don't have to come back with anything when you're wrong. Well, I would quite happily come back with shout-outs. Let's hear them. Okey-dokey, I am on painkillers, so if I get pronunciations wrong, blame the drugs. Shout-out to Lexie, Angie and Beau. Thanks for listening, you three. Shout-out to Theo and their cat Pandora. Big happy birthday to Samantha and Martin from Canada. Oh, I'm not just lumping them in as Canadians, they have birthdays in May. By the way, they are partners, and their birthdays are a day apart. So that's very easy for you both, isn't it? Uh, Isabel. Isabel from Washington State has got into WSU, everybody. Go, Isabel. Shout-out to Daniel in Malaysia. Hello to Alfie and his little brother. A late happy birthday to Federica. I mean, I was in a coma. Uh, to Federica from Italy. And finally, shout-out to Rich from Oxford. It's his birthday... Well, in June, but Millie seems nice, so he's getting an early shout-out. It's... a phone. Shall I see what the contact name is? Yeah, yeah, do it. Hold on. What the heck? The contact is called? Don't answer. Don't answer? That's quite full-on, isn't it? For sure, look. Yeah. Stopped again? Yeah. Oh, it's ringing again. What? New number. What's it saved as? Don't answer this either. This is weird now, isn't it? Yeah. Um, I'm gonna make a suggestion. Let's hear it. Maybe. Maybe. Uh, we answer, because... Weird, nosy, horrible people. Yes, that. But also, it could be business-related. Exactly, yes. Yeah, we're just doing our jobs, basically. Right, yeah. Okay, let's do this. You do it. You got it? Here we go. Hello? I will take that, thank you very much. Wait, no, I wasn't... I wasn't... Oh yeah, yeah, you are in trouble. I recorded all of that. So, actually, we're in trouble. Because in the court of 221b, that absolutely will be used as evidence. Ah, dammit. No, absolutely not. God, listen to that. Don't do favors. Or how could you call it a favor? Oh, is he... is he arguing with somebody? No, I... No, you are. Like, he's really shouting. No, you. Yeah. I'd rather be that than a big, stupid... I don't care. I don't... No. Fine. Fine. And this... this biz is where he shoots that guy. Oh, cool, cool, nice. And I actually think the social message of Robocop is, oh hey, big fella didn't see ya. Oh, you're home, cool. That's cool. I didn't know that. I entered the room two minutes ago to snatch the phone out of his hand. Oh, yeah. We had dinner together before that. Yeah, my memory lately. Yes, yes. Uh, what? You're tired. Haggard, in fact, yes? Uh, I... I guess, I'm... Exactly. It is because you need to relax. You need to relax and John here, pour John with his sore little scabs. Soil. It's... I got shot in the chest, mate. We must relax. I love to relax. I really do think it could be one of my favourite pastimes. I truly do. Right. Not that I don't believe you, but... But what? But I don't believe you. You hate to relax. Not true at all. Watch this. Ready? Mm-hmm. Ready? Yes. Are you watching? Yes, we're watching. See? What? Relaxing. Sherlock Holmes taking a little break. Some rather whimsical folk would call this chillaxing. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Sherlock, um... Wait, wait, watch this, watch. Feet up. Wow, very impressive. My favourite. Lovely. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. My favourite. Lovely. Can feel my mind winding down to a soft ambient hum. How delightful. Your eye is twitching. In the spirit of embracing relaxation, we should have a little holiday, shouldn't we? Um... Like abroad? Like abroad, exactly, Marianna. I didn't even say anything and you just... You're ever so bright. Well, my parents have said they'd always have us in San Sebastián. No, no. The Spanish have made it abundantly clear they would prefer fewer British tourists on their shores. We must respect their wishes! Perhaps an island. Islands can be relaxing, so let's examine that. Shall we? Hmm? Chums? OK, the Isle of Wight. We said abroad. Right. Uh, Mallorca is... Spain has been eliminated from the desired locations. The Dominican Republic has amazing... Too far. We'd be gone too long. Archie would be concerned. Well, I've always wanted to do Iceland. No! No, you fool! Ha ha ha! No, dear John. It is too chilly. Far too chilly. You'll catch a cold and then, um, you will die. OK, can I ask what is going on? We're just looking to relax. It's what is required for you. How could our business ever recover if we don't remedy our ailments and injuries when... Grease? Grease! Yes, Marianna! Yes! Hey, hey, it's all right, Arch. It's all right, it's all right. Can you calm down, please, Sherlock? Forgive me, I just... I want you to get better at Marianna's expertly chosen the island of Mykonos in Greece. Excellent work. Pack your things. See you in the morning. Good night. Did, um... Did you say Mykonos? I would never say Mykonos. Why not? It's not really my thing. What? I said it's not really my thing. Can you do sun cream on my back? I did it for you an hour ago. That's how we do it in England. We are not in England. Exactly! To binge this adventure in full and without ads, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co.