Pam Bondi’s Rough Morning w. Sami Sage

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She does not respect Saturdays whatsoever. So I went to the party. I took the pre-alcohol drink. I made sure to substitute water every other drink. And then the next morning I woke up and I felt just like fine. Everything was fine. I only felt like I wish I could sleep for another hour, but I didn't have the dry mouth. I didn't have the headache. Nothing. Felt great. Ready to try it? Go to zbiotics.com slash hysteria now. You'll get 15% off your first order when you use hysteria at checkout. Plus, it's backed by a 100% money-back guarantee, so there's no risk. Subscriptions are also available for maximum consistency. Remember to head to zbiotics.com slash hysteria and use code hysteria at checkout for 15% off. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at shopify.nl. That's Shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. Hello and welcome to Hysteria. I'm Erin Ryan. And I'm Sammy Sage. Sammy, I have a question for you. Yes. Do you think that there's an FBI file on you? And if so, how long do you think it's existed? And what do you hope is in it? I, you know, I can only hope I'm important enough to have an FBI file. I have a feeling that it probably has existed since I graduated college and started and became a Jew running a media company. And that's suspicious. So got to keep tabs on her. And what do I hope is in it? You know, honestly, my like most my time of highest achievement was high school. so I hope they have my like my grades honestly and my SAT scores because those reflect well on me I would say what about you? I think there probably is one on me just because I've been working in the media for long enough and we were I was working for an organization that was like targeted by Gamergate and stuff so like I'm sure there's something in there in the mix I hope what's in there is that I used to be fun I used to be so much fun and I'm so not fun anymore but I used to be awesome If you would have known me in like 2012, you would have had a really good time. Do you think they have pics like blurry BlackBerry upload pics? I hope so. I hope so. I would love that because I don't know where most of them are. They like disappeared with my phone. So maybe if the FBI had some, well, I would hope like extra camera roll pics that I didn't use because I want to look back and be like, wow, I was fun. You're making me, you know, one time I do remember I accidentally, and I'm just going to share this here and you can cut it out if it's not appropriate. I accidentally uploaded a photo with cocaine in the background. Oh, it wasn't my cocaine. Just to be clear. It was someone else's cocaine, but I was taking a picture. I swear, I swear it was someone else's cocaine. I mean, you know, it was, it was just there. I was just around people who were, who were doing it. And it was a different time. It was a different, it was a different time. Exactly. I, I'll be honest though. I don't really like snorting things. So no, that's my, I'm like Prince Andrew. I don't sweat and I don't snore. That's how you know I'm innocent. As I'm sure you've noticed, Alyssa is out today, but we're joined by Betches founder, Sammy Sage. Today, we're watching Pam Bondi testify in front of the House Judiciary Committee. So you don't have to. Then we're digging into the Olympics and TPUSA's Super Bowl counter-programming and their lame and miscalculated battle to claim American culture. Who knew liberals would get the NFL in the divorce? Then we wrap up with Sani Petty. Okay, let's get into it. You're listening to Hysteria, the podcast for people who didn't try to steal a dog from Hurricane Katrina victims. We're looking at you, Attorney General Pam Bondi. Do you know that story, Sammy? No, I actually don't. Oh, my God. So you have to watch our episode of this fucking guy on her because when I was doing the research for it, I was like, oh, my God. Like usually sometimes I have to go through and like pick out little nuggets of like, oh, this is funny. This is silly. But with Pam Bondi, it was all kind of like out there. Like her entire like digital life or the trail of her existence prior to her being AG of Florida was like, yeah, she tried to steal a dog. Like she was like a prosecutor in Florida and Hurricane Katrina happened and she had just lost her dog of a long time. And she went to adopt a Katrina dog. And it turned out the Katrina dog that she adopted already had owners. The owners were a grandma and a grandpa and two of their grandkids who they were taking care of because their parents were dead. So it was like a family with orphans. Orphans and grandparents. She stole an orphan's dog. Yes. Elderly and orphans. Yes. They were like, can we have the dog back? And she was like, no. And took them to court. Yes. There was a long court battle. And eventually the family won and got to take the dog back. And she pitched a huge fit over it. But yeah. Oh, my God. I know. You shouldn't have a dog. Also, that sort of reminds me of, oh, shit. It's like Katy Perry suing the nuns. It's like, are you really going to do this? Really? Like, they just went through Hurricane Katrina, and you're going to steal their fucking – just give them their dog back. You can get another dog. You have enough money. You can just buy a different dog. Right. It's also like – okay. She's such Facebook mom energy. Like, I would have loved to see – was she even allowed on Facebook? She's saved by the fact that she wasn't allowed on Facebook certain years. But she would have been like so annoying. I can even – she's like your mom's friend who like friends you and then you make fun of all her status updates. Yes. You screenshot it and then you accidentally – Not my mom's friend. Right, right. Somebody's – one's mom's friend. And you screenshot it and sometimes – and one time you accidentally send it to her because you're thinking about her as you like send it. And then she's – you're like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. And you have to come up with like a lie on the fly. Not that that has ever, ever happened to me. No, never. Yeah. Well, Attorney General Pam Bondi is at the top of this segment because she testified in front of the House Judiciary Committee on Wednesday morning. Her hearing comes at an awkward time for the Trump administration, to say the least, when the topics of immigration enforcement and the Epstein files are sort of albatrosses around the jowly neck of the president's popularity. And Pam Bondi, as the top law enforcement official in the country, had to answer for both. Like the Ginger Rogers of bullshit, Bondi's challenge was to dance with the Trump administration's bungles backwards and in heels. But instead, like the circa 2021 Dua Lipa of bullshit, she seemed a little bored and overwhelmed by her own choreography. Sounding as always like a Facebook mom who has been arguing with a gate agent for 10 minutes after missing her flight's boarding time and is about to be escorted from the Tampa airport. Specifically Tampa. Yes, specifically. She's from Tampa. She's like Tampa. She is Tampa, yeah. She is Tampa. We obviously woke up early to report firsthand this shit show, so let's run through some of the moments that stood out the most to us. Let's start with this chaotic back and forth with Representative Jerry Nadler of New York. How many of Epstein's co-conspirators have you indicted? How many perpetrators are you even investigating? She's wasting time. First, you showed it. How many have you? Excuse me. I'm going to answer the question. Answer my question. No, I'm going to answer the question the way I want to answer the question. Your theatrics are ridiculous. Chairman Jordan, I'm not going to get in the gutter with these people. You can let her filibuster all day long, but not on our watch. Is she drunk? Not on our time. No way. And I told you about that, Attorney General, before you started. You don't tell me anything. Oh, I did tell you because we saw what you did in the Senate. She seems drunk. Maybe we'll be in order. I mean, I should get back at least 45 seconds. We will give you a few more seconds. Because I said that already. You're a lawyer. 45 seconds. Okay. I'm timing right now, Mr. Natter. All right. You're taking my time. The answer to my question, how many of Epstein's co-conspirators has she indicted, is zero. Wow. Thoughts on that, Sammy? Sounds like she got a little bit of that thing I accidentally uploaded to Facebook back in the day. My first thought was— You think cocaine? You think upper? Marco? I mean, polo. Maybe. Okay. Because— Okay. because this is why. The clip I saw of her this morning was when she starts talking about the stock market, how the Dow is like 50,000 and how like Jamie Raskin's good at like trading stocks. And I'm like, and everyone's like, what does this have to do with the stock market? And she's like, well, what does this have to do with the stock market? Like she's a little bit hyped up. Usually she's a little more, you know, she's kind of jumpy. Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. You know, I've seen a clip of her. that in a context where it would be acceptable for her to be imbibing. I think it was like on a red, like Kennedy Center honors. Like she was, that was when she wore the poop dress. She looked like a big poopy. It was all brown. Oh, yeah. It just like was a terrible look for her. And she just seemed very intoxicated, which like fine, whatever. If I were going to a Kennedy Center event, I probably would be like, yay, free bubblies or whatever. But this time she seemed like she's not like, her brain isn't moving as fast as she wants it to move. like she is hyped but like it's not moving how she wants it to move and remember last time she had a hearing where she had the like notes she had her burn book where it was like yeah she was more measured well but she had it like all written down and organized and she was like oh this person well you are friends with Reid Hoffman and like but it was very it was more organized and it felt like it was more calmly delivered it almost feels like she had a fight with someone right before and she's still flustered yeah Yeah, that's a good way of characterizing it. Let's listen to Representative Pramila Jayapal of Washington. She asked Bondi to apologize to survivors of Epstein who were in the room with them. She asked the survivors to stand up, and this is what happened. To the survivors in the room, if you are willing, please stand. And if you are willing, please raise your hands if you have still not been able to meet with this Department of Justice. Please know for the record that every single survivor has raised their hand. Uh-oh. Attorney General Bondi, you apologize to the survivors in your opening statement for what they went through at the hands of Jeffrey Epstein. Will you turn to them now and apologize for what your Department of Justice has put them through with the absolutely unacceptable release of the Epstein files and their information? I'm going to turn to the survivors. I'm going to turn to the survivors. Congresswoman, you set before Merrick Garland set in this chair twice. Attorney General, I'm going to reclaim my time because I asked you a specific question that I would like you to answer, which is will you turn to the survivors? This is not about anybody that I'm not going to be a good question. I'm not going to be a good question. I'm not going to be a good question for your department of justice and the harm that it has done to the survivors who are standing right behind you and are waiting for you to turn to them and apologize for what your department of justice is. Members get to ask the questions. The witness gets to answer in the way they want to answer. That's not accurate, Mr. I'm not going to get in the gutter for her theatrics. The time belongs to the gentlelady. The gentlelady has 17 seconds. Thank you. You're not going to answer this question. So let me just say what a massive cover-up. Mr. Chairman, will you restore her time? The witness is interrupted. I'm not going to get in the gutter with this woman. She's doing theatrics. The general lady from Washington controls the time. The general lady has 17 seconds. You can proceed with your final 17 seconds. What a massive cover-up this has been and continues to be. Donald Trump made the release of the Epstein files the center of his political campaign because he thought it would benefit him. Then you got into office, attorney general, claimed to have a client list. Only did them say that there was no list. Sammy, what do you make of that? Okay. What I make of that is that I don't see how our country is going to continue as is if that is the way things are supposedly supposed to get done. Like that cannot be the means by which we get justice, by which we even get a fact established, which is their goal, to be clear, to make sure that no facts are ever established. because then we would all be in agreement on reality. And then we would all be in agreement on things like numbers and how and who wins elections and whether or not, you know, how many times someone was shot in the street by a federal officer. And I think that this is like that clip to me is so infuriating. And I actually don't know how the people in the room can stand to sit there and not like just scream at the top of their lungs because this is the game. What she's doing there is like the whole administration that is Trump's whole strategy. You just like get in the gears and you just like say nothing of any substance and you just don't allow it to get anywhere. And it's like if you want to know how Jeffrey Epstein got away with all this, like that five, that three minutes encapsulates like the whole strategy just in one minute. You cannot get anywhere because you just they don't let you. So I don't know how we're going to keep doing this. It's crazy. It's like, oh, yeah, Congress doesn't work. The Justice Department doesn't work. None of this works. Earlier this week, lawmakers were allowed to see unredacted versions of the Epstein files, which everybody was supposed to be able to see by law, but wasn't. Many, including Wyoming Republican Senator Cynthia Loomis, who said something like something to the effect of like, I didn't think it was a big deal, but no, I think it might have been a big deal. I'm paraphrasing, but I was just like, okay, Cynthia, good thing Wyoming has two senators. And then Democratic Representative Ro Khanna also said that he was upset by what he saw, that a lot of perpetrators, accomplices, and pals of Epstein were having their identities masked in a way that was contrary to the law. So, Sammy, what have you seen in the version of the Epstein files available to the general public that you wish was getting more press? I think like the – it's not like one thing because I think part of the problem is actually that people are seeing these like little discrete pieces of information. And so there's no like, people are seeing things without context. So when you, for example, like see claims, people are making a lot of claims about things that aren't true, which I think ultimately like hurts the things that are true because they're bad enough. So when people are making claims about like cannibalism and making assumptions about like code words like beef jerky and cream cheese, You are actually sending people off the reservation into places that are not real. You will not prove anything. I think a similar focus is happening with like, is he actually alive? Like that's a really convenient way to make sure no one ever thinks too hard about how he actually died and who was in charge when that happened. And I think that there's enough established facts to tell the story. And every time people get into these like really sensationalist, unfounded things, it's undermined. It's doing Pam Bondi's work. It's like undermining this whole like the goal, which is, I think, to get Americans to a narrative that we understand what happened here, not just about the sex trafficking, because that was a means to an end for these people. And the end was control and dominance. And basically, like, be acting as like an extranational government for America. Like, they were running parallel diplomacy. They were running parallel financial games. Like, it's a real risk here, like, what they've created and still exists. and I feel that we get sort of like distracted by the salaciousness, but also that's what interests people. So like you kind of need people to know those things. You know, you need to know about Peter Atiyah's email to get people outraged to understand the big story. But at the same time, I don't think people are getting the big story. I think the story, and I don't want to say like the sex trafficking is the little story or anything, but I know I just... No, it's like... It's very, it's like, it's horrible. But I think that the like sex crimes are easier for people to understand than financial crimes. And I think that's why more people are talking about the sex crimes. But I do think like the financial crimes are the big fish here. You know what I'm saying? Well, it's not even – I don't even think about it as like the crimes necessarily. It's not like this wire or that wire. Although it's more about like what their goals were. Like that didn't even get achieved in his lifetime. Like last night I was reading like Bannon's – reading through again Bannon's text with him because there's so much information there. And it's like they were talking in 2018 about like overturning the Chevron decision. That's why they wanted to get Kavanaugh appointed. They were talking about like Venezuelan oil and investing in Argentina. And I do not mean to say that like the sex trafficking is ancillary. In fact, we wouldn't know about any of this if it weren't for the sex trafficking. Like that was the weakness in his operation that he was, you know, involving thousands of kids, girls, people, like women in this. And that's actually what got him exposed. And I think that's what's so crazy about this is like we wouldn't even know about any of this if these two girls didn't get into a fight in this Palm Beach high school in like 2005. And that's also like the impact that he had on people throughout his life because these big, you know, extra governmental machinations, like they may have never been achieved. But what he was doing to achieve those things was blackmailing people and trafficking girls and physically creating so much trauma, pain, harm that that is what caused them to get exposed. And that is why the American people are so mad because people really don't know about this other stuff. But I think it is really important if we want to actually get accountability because I don't see how we're getting accountability for each discrete crime. Like there needs to be a real like overturning of this. Yeah. I mean I want to talk about accountability in a little bit but I just had a very like an – I have an ancillary question. Why is the tone of the messages between like Epstein and Steve Bannon or Epstein and Peter Thiel, why is it so flirtatious? Did you notice it seemed like they were flirting with each other? Oh my god. What is up with that? Yeah. And we were kind of like chatting about this last night. It's like these men hate women and girls. They hate the female gender. And they just – their only true love and respect was for each other. Like they didn't respect – the only woman I feel that they had any respect for, two women, Masha Dracova and Kathy Rumler. And everyone else was just an instrument to them. But they loved Jeffrey Epstein. Like they thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. But it's also like the biggest losers thought he was that. But I think that that exposes the Epstein files and all these communications really expose how easily impressed men are with other men and how eager they are to impress each other it feels very like you watching like a natural subordination play out Like they really want to be like subs to a big important, powerful guy. But in being that guy's sub, they're not going to be harmed. They're going to be like, you know. The protection racket. Yes, exactly. When you just said that, like the natural whatever, like I was picturing just like a bunch of animals in a pack, like grooming the leader. Yeah. And, but I don't know. It's, there's something more almost perverse because in a pack, like in nature, that leader is the protector, like a real protector, not like a evil rapist liar, like all these things. Yeah. And yeah, no, they were, Peter, Tia was like so taken by him. Oh, yeah. Peter Thiel is so easily impressed by other dudes. And now he's sort of like stepped up in the like MLM of men being impressed with each other. And now his downline is a bunch of guys who are super impressed with him, even though what he says is alternately crazy and nonsensical. it's really it almost feels like watching the emperor has no clothes play just happen over and over and over and over again because I think like none of the emperors have clothes actually none of them do if they're not actual sex pests if they're eager to hang around with a sex pest or turn a blind eye to a sex pest if they think that it'll get them close to the power which is like so disappointing but also So there were like some glimmers of hope. It did get them close to the power. It did get them close to the power. They were right. They're still right because look who's in power. Well, there has been some fallout from the Epstein dump, but unfortunately it seems like most of it is in the UK right now. Like Prince Andrew was stripped of his royal title before we saw any of these emails, which tells me that what is in there about him that has been redacted or not released publicly is probably pretty fucking bad. But there was something that came out this week. DinoCon, which is a UK paleontology conference, has banned all Epstein file names out of concern for the safety of its attendees. So way to go, paleontologists. Wow. We have people who – yeah, actually smart people. There's such like a cosplay of smartness, intelligence in these files. Like they really believe they are truly geniuses. And I want to – do you watch that interview with Eric Weinstein where he talks about how Epstein was like a construct and he worked in the Harvard math department? and like why he was like why is is uh why is Epstein involved in like my studies and I was like that's a really smart guy like that he's a physics guy whatever like they all really believed that they were so smart well they all just told each other the things that they wanted to hear it was sort of like they were just like in a constant like a like a circle you know what's a snake an Emotional circle jerk. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or like, yeah, I was going to say like the snake eating its own tail, except they're sucking each other's dick. Yes. But it's like, but it seemed very much like, oh, they're all telling each other what they want to hear about each other and about themselves. Like his relationship with Steve Bannon was very funny to me because I like, you know, I kind of knew Steve Bannon back in the day. He would talk to anybody. He was so like, he was, he had so many reporters' phone numbers. He would talk to like just about anybody. And he just like – Could I call him now? I don't know if I still have his number. I'd have to open like a ProtonMail like account that is defunct. But we'll talk about it offline. But he was like always just like willing to talk to people. And he just loved feeling like a big shot. He loved like hosting parties because it made him feel like a big shot. He loved like being – like talking to important people. And you could just really see that dynamic between he and Epstein. It was just two guys who are kind of full of shit who want to feel like big shots talking to each other. It was so interesting. We both found this in the files. There was like a really strange dynamic between Epstein and his so-called goddaughter. And I think that that whole situation, you were talking earlier about people like picking out things that they shouldn't pick out and like just like running all the way to the end zone with it where it's like, whoa, this is like too much. But I remember early in the Epstein file releases, there were pictures of Epstein with a girl or a little girl on his wall. And people were like, that's JonBenet Ramsey. Oh, my God. Yeah. So I saw that. Oh, yeah. People think like Ghislaine is in this picture with JonBenet Ramsey. It's like maybe. Yeah. There's not really evidence of that. But also I think if you read further on, there's like receipt of like him getting a painting of his goddaughter made. And like it's like, oh, OK, well, this relationship is still a little strange. But like, okay. Like, look, the thing is I actually think it's not strange. It's only strange if you believe what they told you about it. If you actually look at what it most likely is, which I believe that this is – I think Glenn and Eva Dubin's daughter is probably his – their oldest daughter is probably his daughter. I mean, that is an interesting theory for sure. I mean, if you read like everything about the way that they interacted and you read all their interactions, all his interactions with Eva, you look at like the comments about like Glenn, you see how much he did not seem to have any relationship with the other Dubin kids like at all. And yet he was like arranging for Selena to go to school like all the time to buy her flights, buy her clothes, buy her everything, get her custom shoes. There were millions of photos of her. Like not millions, but there's so many photos of her that he had. There was a box of photos that are labeled Selena in his house. Like in the evidence. Yeah, there's a CD. Yeah, there's also like a CD. and if you actually read the interactions, and you read his interactions about her with other people, the way he talks about her, there's emails to him where people like are congratulating him on like his baby and how she's like this age, like, oh, you have a 21-year-old and it's on her birthday. It's like, and where would we when she was 21? Like it's, and also Eva Anderson was like his only, from what I can tell, like his seemingly only like consensual real like equalish partnership like where I don't know that that's true but like she's the only person who seems to like have any gall to talk back to him and that who he has any like respect for of all the people he's dated or been with or whatever he did to them and I also feel that like I assumed oh he must have done something like gross to Eva's daughter but like you actually see all the different interactions and it seems like this is the only person who he was not, who he actually seemed to care about. There's an email with, I believe it's Nadia Marcinkova because her initials are there, where she says to him, like, he says to her, like, I told you, like, you and Selena are the only people I love. And when you actually, like, spend a bit of time with this, like, this is how a man talks about his daughter and treats his daughter. And there's, like, you know, he asked for photo shoots for her, but he would write like no nudes. Like it actually seems like this maybe was the only person who he did not abuse and seem to have genuine affection for that isn't interrupted in any way. Yeah. Weird week for her. Weird couple of months for her. I mean, she, they are also, a lot of those files are deleted. So all the files about her are like gone and you can really only see them in J-mail. J-mail or Wayback Machine. Cause they all, Everything that was like released on the 31st got like grabbed by the Wayback Machine. So you can use Wayback Machine to pull it. But yeah, a lot of that stuff is getting pulled down and it's sort of like. I just wonder if like she knew or her siblings knew. I know. And then there must be so many crazy revelations that people in these files are having. I mean, Glenn Maxwell seemed like a companion that was always kind of off the deep end. Like she had this sort of like British frivolity where she's like, oh, my daddy says I can't ever get in trouble. I'm ever so naughty. You know, like she just had this like like Mary Poppins. But like I guess it would be more like statuary Poppins like vibe where she was like. Statuary. Statuary Poppins. Yeah. But she always seemed like a little unhinged. And like Ava Dubin is like a very respected, I think, an oncologist. She like is a she's a doctor. She's a medical doctor. Her children. She seems very different from all the others. Her children went to Harvard. Like they have jobs. Like I think her oldest daughter is an MD. Like they have jobs. Like they seem like function – their brains work. They seem like they work hard. It almost feels like this is the – like that daughter is the like – I mean and the other kids probably are the only like truly innocents. I mean I don't want to say that the victims. I want to say like people who are like in his life in a way that like they benefited from his largesse. There's a part of me that thinks that at least Ava must have had in the back of her mind that it could always end with her family's reputation and her life's work being dragged down with Epstein's reputation. And that did happen. Yeah. And she knew it. She said that in an email to him back in 2012, it seems. It's redacted, but it's clearly her. Or like you can – when you read enough of these, you can tell because like the fonts match or there's like – there's so many giveaways within the files. Oh, yeah. The redact – I have like – it's great moments in redacting just are happening constantly. Sometimes they'll redact an email address but not the name and a footer. And it's like, okay, well, now I know who this is from. Like I'm not going to email. Yeah, I'm not going to email them. Just real quick before we have to take a break and move on from this topic that I will probably be talking about for the rest of my life. What do you think should happen? Like, really quick, what is the fallout that should impact Epstein, like, frequent flyers, literal and figurative, professionally and, like, legally in the U.S.? What should happen? I don't think that anyone who has, like, a clear, demonstrable relationship with him that isn't, like, pretty much explained by, you know, oh, we kind of cross paths or, you know, you're in there because you're in an attachment. Like, you should not be in a position of public trust. And by that I mean like a CEO of a company, you know, and then I think people should be investigated. My real like problem is that I don't see how any of that actually happens. Like how does that happen? But in theory in a working system, like none of these people should be in like public positions. They should all be looked at thoroughly. I don't think they should be getting like government contracts. They should probably not be sitting on boards. Or you know what? Any company can put whoever the fuck they want on the board. But like, you know, that should— Maybe a scarlet letter or a scarlet E. And I think what it is going to end up being is that we will have a bunch of scarlet E's on people until this broader political system experiences some reform and or the people die off. And it becomes so like just societally unacceptable. where like when we're in 20 years, like we're not going to accept anyone who is like involved in this, like no matter what. So, but you know, who knows if that will dovetail with there being like an actual consequence. I just don't see how you have a consequence when, I mean, maybe state laws. I think that this is why cancel culture existed in the first place because the law didn't actually protect people or punish people that deserved punishment. And I think that this is like a really good example of us of like an opportunity for people to take advantage of the fact, OK, wrong was done. How can we rectify wrong in like systemically so that people don't have to like take it into their own hands and like apply it in this like court of public opinion, haphazard kind of way? I think there should be no government contracts for people with clear and longstanding ties to Jeffrey Epstein. No government contracts. Elon Musk should not have government contracts. Peter Thiel's company should not have government contracts. If you want a government contract, you have to like the person in the Epstein files needs to be divested from that company completely. Like the question is, why? Let's I think maybe we start over. They have the government contracts because of this. And so we should take it back, claw back. We got it. We have to like claw back things that were ill gotten gains. And on that note, I wanted to close this segment by listening to a little clip of feminist hero Thomas Massey having an exchange with Attorney General Pam Bondi. Let's listen. I'm going to put the language of the bill up on the screen. Chairman, may I give my answer on that? It's a political joke, and I need to give my answer on that. We'll let the Attorney General respond, and then the gentleman can move to his next question. Within 40 minutes, you asked me a question. Within 40 minutes, Wexner's name was added back. Within 40 minutes of me catching you red-handed. One more thing I want to add before we go to break. We have been closely following the horrifying disappearance of today's show host Savannah Guthrie's mother, Nancy Guthrie. I covered the story on Crooked's new Friends of the Pod subscriber exclusive show, Pod Save America, Only Friends, with runaway country host Alex Wagner. Here's a preview. This story has been on both of our minds this week. I think on everybody's minds. I think nationally. Nationally. But it's just so chilling. Like when we were doing our production call on this, like just a little look under the hood for our listeners. It was the first thing that everybody wanted to talk about because it's just such a horrifying story. It's so sad. It's so confusing. And there's so much we don't know. So let's start with the latest news about the disappearance of Savannah Guthrie's mother. If you're not familiar with the story, today's show host, Savannah Guthrie's mother, Nancy, was abducted from her home outside of Tucson, Arizona, in the early morning hours of February 1st. Savannah and her family have made several public appeals asking for any information on the disappearance. On Tuesday, the FBI and Pima County Sheriff's Department released completely terrifying new footage from the doorstep camera. The footage showed a masked intruder at Nancy's front door trying to block the camera before eventually disconnecting it. Authorities originally told the public that the footage didn't exist, but then they were able to restore it because the family did not have a paid subscription. It's very confusing how they were actually able to get the footage, but we'll talk a little bit about that. But now investigators said they were able to retrieve these new events because they recovered it from residual data, which is stored in back-end systems. So, Alex, what's your reaction to the story? Well, let me just begin by saying I used to work with Savannah Guthrie. She is a friend of mine. I cherish her as a person and as a former colleague and just as truly a decent person in an incredibly indecent industry. Like the person you see on television filled with light and sparkle and brilliance is exactly who she is behind the scenes. And her family is extraordinary. And her relationship to her mom is singular. And so when I first heard about this, like it was gutting. It was like this should not be happening to anyone. And to someone who is as close to her mother as Savannah is, I can't even fathom how she is able to get up every day. Really honestly. um it's like had a weirdly emotional impact on me as I'm very close to my mom too my mom isn't as nice seeming as Nancy Guthrie is but I love her dearly um and I and I think so there's like a personal element but there's also you know the I think the mother-daughter relationship the mother-child relationship is really sacrosanct and seeing that sort of being shredded in like in the most public way possible. Just the strain and the like just misery that this is all inflicted upon the family that we see in these Instagram dispatches. And then as a woman, I find it terrifying just because she's I love that Nancy Guthrie was living by herself at the age of 84 in her Tucson greed out where the javelinas were eating her plants, as she told today's show. You know, that's such an independent, like she seems so independent and happy. And to have that sense of safety and independence and resilience violated in such a profound manner is super terrifying to me. But I think in the context of, you know, what you were just talking about, Erin, I don't fucking understand how we are 11 days in as of this recording, right? And I mean, we now have this doorstop doorstep footage, but I don't understand how few leads there are. And I am hoping against hope that the feds know more. I'm always trying to read in between the lines when we get these dispatches from our Cracker Jack FBI head, Cash Patel. But even with Savannah's, the family messages, I'm always trying to sort of parse the words and understand like, okay, Do they know a little bit more? Is this language being used in a particular way to mask the information they do have? Because it's very hard for me to believe that in this day and age, when it feels like everything we do is traceable, regardless of whether we want it to be or not, that this person, setting aside the NES cam footage, may have disappeared with another person with no trace. Yeah, I mean, even like cars. Cars have like notoriously bad infosec. And there have been stories done by like tech reporters about how your data that your car is collecting is very not secure. So, you know, was there any, there's so many things that you're like, well, couldn't they have looked here? Couldn't they have looked here? And also, you know, Kash Patel, as you mentioned, is in charge of the investigation. And he hasn't really earned very much public confidence in his ability. Oh, you don't think? No. I mean, he's just, he's not. Tweeting out bad information repeatedly, not giving you confidence. Yeah. I mean, and that's kind of why I think when you were saying like, well, we don't know what they know and we don't know what they don't know because they have to hold it kind of close to the vest in order for the investigation to have any integrity. But Patel has shown in the past that he lacks the discipline to actually maintain investigation like integrity. And so I'm kind of, I don't know. Do you think that he's got it in him to actually run this investigation? I mean, I have hope. I mean, this is a result of me maybe doing one too many interviews in a cable news format where it's like we have former FBI experts and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Down at the like field office level, those guys know what the fuck they're doing, right? Like, and I, while Kash Patel is a titular head, I feel like he's more interested in like going viral on like making memes than he is in actually dispatching agents to do the real like work of investigation. So my hope throughout all of this is that they're actually competent people at the local and state level who are running the investigation. I don't know if that's true, though, given where we are. I also think not only does Kash Patel have his hands in this, so does Donald Trump. Like we get news from the White House. The president is very, you know, following this closely. And then he's on Air Force One last Friday saying, I think some I'm paraphrasing, but basically saying, I think something's going to break soon. And then, of course, nothing breaks unless he was talking about the camera footage. but that was four days later, five days later. And it's like, oh God, like, are these clowns like actually involving themselves in this? Because that doesn't seem like a good thing at all. quick break, but we'll be right back with more Hysteria. Hysteria is brought to you by Smalls. January is when we all try to reset, and that should include your cat. It's 2026. Do you still feed your cat like it's 1926? Whole mice? I'm picturing like Garfield eating like a fish in a cat bowl? This podcast is sponsored by Smalls. For a limited time, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping, when you head to smalls.com slash hysteria. Smalls cat food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free ingredients you'd find in your fridge, and it's delivered right to your door That why cats named Smalls their best overall cat food Starting with Smalls is easy Just share info about your cat diet health and food preferences then Smalls puts together a personalized sampler for your cat No more picking between random brands at the store Smalls has the right food to satisfy any cat's cravings. 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One last time, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash hysteria. Hysteria is brought to you by Tovala. If you love great food but hate cooking or cleaning, sometimes, not all the time, sometimes, listen up because this just made my weeknight meals about 10 times easier. This podcast is sponsored by Tovala. Tovala is a smart meal delivery service, fresh meals, and a smart oven that does the cooking for you. Tovala makes it so easy. You just scan the meals QR code, pop it in the oven, and it cooks everything perfectly. Steams, bakes, broils automatically. No guesswork needed. You can save up to $300 on the Tovala smart oven when you order meals six or more times by heading to tovala.com slash hysteria using our code hysteria for a limited time. The herb roasted chicken with creamy pumpkin risotto is my favorite. It is so, so easy. I also love that my Tavala oven is like a little robot that cooks for me. I love using my Tavala oven also to reheat food. It's really good for heating up things my kids like to eat, like chicken nuggets, old French fries, you know, things that if you just put it in the microwave, they get all soggy. The Tavala smart oven does a really good job of heating and making them taste really appealing as seconds, as leftovers. I truly love having it around. Tovala meals are chef-crafted and taste just like homemade meals you'd make yourself just without all the headaches. Plus, all of Tovala's meals are made with real, fresh ingredients. Tovala is great because you can eat better without putting in a ton of effort. There are high-protein options, calorie-smart options, gluten-free options, comfort food, whatever you're into. With Tovala, you can finally remove dinner from your to-do list. For a limited time, because you are a Hysteria listener, you can save up to $300 on the Tovala Smart Oven when you order meals six or more times by heading to tovala.com slash hysteria and use our code hysteria. That's up to $300 off when you head to tovala.com slash hysteria and use promo code hysteria. One last time, that's T-O-V-A-L-A dot com and make sure you use our promo code hysteria for up to $300 off the Tovala Smart Oven. Remember, with Tovala, dinner is taken care of. Welcome back. You're listening to Hysteria, the podcast that had no idea that ski jumping involved the penis. Did you read this story, Sammy? No. Apparently ski jumpers were like injecting hyaluronic acid into their penises and that somehow was giving them an unfair advantage. I didn't read any further than that. Okay. Interesting. I thought hyaluronic acid was for the face. I mean, I bet those penises look... Hydrated? Yeah. Hydrated. Hydrated. Yes. Very, very well. I don't know. Having a hydrated penis is great for ski jumping, I guess. I don't know. I'm never going to do that sport, and I don't have a penis. So you know what? Let's move on. Not everything's for everyone. Not everything's for everyone, and that is not for me. The Olympics kicked off last week, and as we anticipated on the show last week, Team USA's athletes are not sticking to sports. In fact, they have plenty to say about what's happening back home, and as they've had to grapple with what it means to be at the top of their game and represent a country that is, frankly, sucking ass right now. Before the games even started, protesters took to the streets to condemn the presence of ICE personnel in Italy. Wait, we're giving ICE people Italian vacations on the government's dime? You know, if it makes you feel any better, they can't appreciate it. No, that's true. That's true. Team USA received cheers at the opening ceremony, but the crowd roared with booing when the camera cut to Vice President J.D. Vance. American TV cut this out, but once again, God bless our friends to the north. Canadian television aired it. I'm in Canada, actually, so I'll let them know. Oh, give them an applause. I will. When Trump was asked about Vance's icy reception, he said, I mean, he's in a foreign country, in all fairness. He doesn't get booed in this country, which, fact check, he gets booed quite a bit. He gets booed quite a bit. One of my favorite recent Onion headlines is about J.D. Vance getting booed by his reflection. That's amazing. Speaking of J.D. Vance, he is not beating the allegations that not only is he a smug asshole, he's also bad luck. Remember when he killed the Pope, Sammy? Yeah, I kind of think he should go pay a visit to Mitch McConnell in the hospital. What about you? Remember when his motorcade sort of did a hit and run on a cop? Yeah. Yeah, he did that. Remember when he assaulted that college football trophy, I believe it was? Oh, yeah. He dropped it. Yeah, yeah. The L.A. shell on the motorcade, too. Yes, yeah. Well, he's moved on to killing dreams. Like a reverse Freddy Krueger, except without the Riz. I do think Freddy Krueger does have Riz. I think I can own that. Okay, so figure skater Elisa Liu got stuck behind Vance's excessive motorcade on her way to the skating arena. And according to her coach, they almost didn't make it. So she was flustered when she got there and her routine was sort of like not what she wanted. She only had a few minutes. It was crazy. Yes, she came in second and she could have come in first. Yes, she could have. Vance traveled with an embarrassingly large crew and there was even a rumor that he traveled with a whole plane full of food. Can you imagine taking food to Italy? Will you need Uncrustables, JD? I've yet to be able to, like, come up with the perfect punchline for this. But at some level, I'm like, good. He won't appreciate. He won't get the joy. Like, to me, it's like the craziest thing ever. Like, you're going to choose to consume American chemicals through your food when you could easily drop 10 pounds by having sulfate-free wine every night and going for a little walk. Like this man is such trash. It's like so embarrassing. It's actually embarrassing because he is representing America in the true sense. And we need to fix. We're going to need a diplomatic overhaul when these people are gone. We need to have only cool people. Only cool people. We will eat your pasta. We will not turn our nose up at what you make locally, especially if you're like one of the culinary epicenters of the entire Western world. Like, oh my God. It's also like super normal food. Like, it's not like adventurous. Right. The American palate is attuned to the flavors that are used in Italian cooking because there are so many Italian-Americans here and it's been fully incorporated into American cuisine. North American, like, you know, USA cuisine. That's the way to say it, not normal food. But it's like, yeah, it's nothing – like, I'm sorry, but like cheese, bread, and sauce, not that exotic. You can handle it, JD. my my husband's grandmother is like italian american like her parents are like came over from italy and she was the only one of the siblings born here so she's like italian american and um it's really funny because like we went to italy on a trip with his parents and like i was over there i was like you know what i feel like italians are cheating a little bit it's like with the french with butter it's like yeah just drown everything in butter of course you get to make the best food in the world the italians are like pasta fresh tomatoes herbs boom it's like that feels a little like oh we're only using the freshest ingredients okay well then 75 percent of the cooking is pretty much done because you're just like using the best ingredients but that's our problem we don't have that that's our issue that's true that's true ever had a fresh tomato that you've grown it is the shit yeah it's actually i mean it's amazing it's amazing that we what are we thinking that's what i need to know i just want to know how we're tolerating the like quality. Anyway, we'll get RFK Jr. on here to talk about that. This is a low blow, but whatever. Sammy, what do you make of the fact that J.D. Vance's hairline is now visibly receding? Look, we got the hairlines we deserve. And if this administration is going to cause me to go gray, I think he deserves it. And you know what? I saw his face after he got booed and he looked so sad and he deserves that. He looks like the sad emoji, the one that's like this. Yeah. He should have just stuck to, like, his personality from 2016. I actually think that would have been the right move for him. Bad move, J.D. Yeah. Well, let's talk a little bit about the athletes that are speaking out, because I'm done talking about J.D. Vance. He has polluted this podcast enough. Okay. During a pre-Olympic news conference, Amber Glenn, the first openly queer woman to figure skate for Team USA, spoke about how the Trump administration has targeted marginalized people in the U.S., including the LGBTQ community. And here's the quote. It is so not offensive. I cannot believe how not offensive this quote is. Glenn said, I hope I can use my platform and my voice throughout these games to try to encourage people to stay strong in these hard times. I know that a lot of people say you're just an athlete, like stick to your job, shut up about politics, but politics affects us all. It is something that I will not just be quiet about because it is something that affects us in our everyday lives. So, of course, there are things that I disagree with, but as a community, we are strong and we support each other and brighter days are ahead of us. What is offensive about that? It doesn't mention American carnage, number one. So it's not good. That's true. What is offensive about it? They find Mr. Rogers offensive. Like they find rainbows and puppies offensive. Like it's just they are offensive. And this is like this is the culture war. It's just this how it is. Yeah. They're crazy. And it's so sad. It's so sad. But also I feel like she's a queer woman. So that sets her apart from the team already. And then after those comments, which were so like, and I don't want to downplay them because it takes a lot of bravery to speak out at all. But they were so like morning TV, pageant appropriate. They weren't like, fuck ice and fuck anyone who thinks ice is okay. Like if it were a little pugnacious, I'd be like, I get why some people find that irritating. I would be completely vibing with it. But like she's doing what she can in a way that feels comfortable for her. And it's like she was singled out for like scary amounts of threats for speaking out against what the American government is doing. And she had to step away from social media. I just think that like the fact that this is a queer woman, Renee Good was a queer woman. It's very clear that like there is a very specific type of person that this administration thinks is like strategically and politically good for them to target. And I don't want to like let that slip by. A hundred percent. And what I do want to say, though, is that Amber Glenn is going to be remembered for her statement and for representing, like, I feel much more comfortable, and I think most Americans do, being represented by this statement than being represented by J.D. Vance and everything else that all the world knows we're doing and is, you know, sharing even more, like, sharing the news even more than we are in some cases. case is. And it's, yeah, it's like the power works in the inverse. It's like the more they go after someone like Amber Glenn, the more powerful someone like Amber Glenn's statement is. And like the fact that she can say that and, you know, that these other athletes too can go out and kind of like defend their teammates, that is like, I think, a really good sign that we are not totally in China, Russia situation yet. But yeah, there are so many speaking out. Like there was one news conference, I think it was with, it was the one that had a freestyle skier Hunter Hess. And there was like a line of three of them. And it was like, they all had something critical, mild, but critical and honest to say. And I was just like, good. There's so many of them speaking out. Nobody has to be like the only one. And I think the fact that the Trump administration singled out Glenn and Hess really kind of betrays their tactics, which is that they want to get us separated, pull some person out, and then attack that person, and then get everyone else so scared of being the one that's singled out and attacked that we all cower away. And I'm not seeing that happen with the athletes, which is, like, I guess to be expected because these people are pretty fucking brave just in their daily lives. Like, doing that shit that they do on skates, like, requires a level of courage that I think a lot of people just don't have in them. And so it shouldn't be surprising at all that people are speaking out. I want to say, I want to talk about one more story, like, for 30 seconds before we take a break, because this happened and it was like, I felt like I was hallucinating. Norwegian biathlete Storla Holm Legrad gave a tearful interview after winning the bronze. Did you see this? It's a male biathlete. I think biathlon is like the gun skiing. Oh, wait. I saw a headline, but I didn't actually like. I saw a headline and I was like, is this AI? Like, did this really happen? So he won the bronze, you know, as Norwegians tend to do. They're really good at gun skiing. And he used his name and he used his time in the limelight to admit to cheating on an ex-girlfriend and talking about how she just found out and it was the love of his life. And he he wanted to win her back. In his speech, he said, I'm laughing, but I'm like, oh, my God, this guy is clearly broken up about this, but also like he cheated on her. So I bet she's watching this and is like, good. How old is this man? He's young enough to be in the Olympics, so his frontal lobe may not be fully formed. He said, six months ago, I met the love of my life, the world's most beautiful, sweetest person, and three months ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life and cheated on her. Girl, if he's cheating on you after three months when you're having sex like all the time, that shit's not going to stick. This is an impulsive man. Yeah, this is an impulsive man. He said he'd had the worst week of his life, but it culminated in him winning the bronze. I would say he did shoot his shot at getting her back. I mean, by athlete-wise and in terms of his confession during his post-race interview. But TBD, will that be an effective way? What's your advice to the girl? I would say just let him hang on Red for a few months. Get yourself together, get yourself happy, and then maybe go out for a coffee and see how you feel if he still wants to get back. You're so right. Yeah. You have to like – You're so right. You have to cool yourself down. You have to get to 100% room temp in how you feel so you can go in and be like, I'm going to assess this freshly. Yeah. That's a great – that's great advice because look, not only the fact that after six months he's in love with someone and then – just six months. Like let's be honest. We're still – we should still be in the honeymoon period. Yeah. Cheat during that and then you are a gun skier who then wins the bronze and you talk about this in front of the world. Not just the country, the world. So, yeah, I don't think I can trust this man to stay for a stable life. You know what? But I would trust him to be the vice president more than the current vice president because at least he's honest. He's honest. There was something very, like, endearing about it where it's like, oh, this is a man who made a giant mistake and who is in pain. My heart goes out to him for his pain, but I also think, like, actions have consequences, sir. I'm very sorry. All right. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be back with more hysteria. Hysteria is brought to you by 3-Day Blinds. Have you ever bought something for your house that looked great in the store and terrible once you got home? Yes, me too. There is a better way to build blinds, shades, shutters, and drapery, and it's called 3-Day Blinds. They are the leading manufacturer of high-quality custom window treatments in the U.S., and right now you can use my URL, 3dayblinds.com slash hysteria. They are running a buy one, get one 50% off deal. We can shop for almost anything at home. 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Oh, my God. I can't believe other people are making that switch. I mean, I didn't realize it was like. I was like the adult cheerleading. So Jordan Hudson is a former New England Patriots and current UNC coach Bill Belichick's very young, very strange adult cheerleader girlfriend slash stage mom. Kind of. She's like sort of his stage mom. Like his manager. She kind of became his manager, it seems. Yes. Yeah. Wearing like really like real looks on the sidelines and like adjusting his sweatshirts, his cutoff sweatshirts and stuff. At a basketball game between UNC and Duke the night before the Super Bowl, she showed up wearing a shirt advertising the Orchids of Asia Day Spa. Now, that's a very deep cut if you're somebody that does not like the New England Patriots. The Orchids of Asia Day Spa is the Florida rub-and-tug massage parlor tied to New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft's prostitution bust in 2019. So Belichick has smoke with Robert Kraft. And so Jordan has smoke with Robert Kraft. And she comes in with the, like, champion. There's no better. That's such a good. That's such a good move. That's so funny. Yes. Can I say two things? One, it reminds me of Julia Roberts' shirt, although Vera. Do you know the one? I was thinking about that the other day. That so funny Maybe this is why It very much that Yes Two do you think that this rub and Tug massage parlor sells shirts or do you think she had the shirt made for this exact reason If she had the shirt made, that adds extra points for me. You think she went to Florida and went to the massage parlor? You think she went on the website? Like, oh, come on. She made this shirt. She must have made this shirt. She commissioned like a graphic designer though because there's like a graphic. Maybe, yeah. But she did the work. She planned. She planned. And Robert Kraft is a Trumpy asshole. And my enemy is my friend. So by the transitive power of pettiness, Jordan Hudson fucking rules. I love it. That's awesome. Let's talk a little bit about the Super Bowl. Over the weekend, Bad Bunny's performance at the Super Bowl halftime show, which was an otherwise lackluster game. But the Super Bowl halftime show was great. It overshadowed the bad football. An estimated 135.4 million viewers turned into the halftime show. The show was rich in Puerto Rican and Latin culture. My local taco stand, well, it was a taco tent when I moved in, Via's Tacos in L.A., is now— You're scaring the magas, Erin. I know. I'm sorry. Via's Tacos was like a tent that was on a street near where I live when we first moved in. And a few years later now, it has like two restaurants. And it is just like some of the best tacos in L.A. if you ever get out here. Villas Tacos. You have to check it out. But there was a cameo of that. There was like a social club in Brooklyn, like the owner of a Puerto Rican social club. It was like so cool. It was so cool. And it was so fun and it was so positive. Like there were like there's like pointed like political commentary about Puerto Rico and about gentrification and all of those things. It was very pointed. But the end was like, we're all America. You know, this is this is for America and love is stronger than hate. Did you have a favorite moment from the show? Probably the love is stronger than hate sign, I think, like was really powerful because if you think about it, like that was, I thought, being under like the Levi's branding made me, it made it really like, it just made it really clear to me that it was like, I can't explain it. It almost felt like a paid moment of this message in a good way. Yeah. And honestly, like my OK, it was like catching the random celebrities like, wait, is that Jessica Alba? That girl looks like a lot like Jessica Alba. And Jessica Alba looks exactly the same as she did in the 90s. She's. Yeah. I was like, wait, how'd they get a lookalike for her? And then whatever, it became clear. honestly like I think the way that it was just like it just had like a feeling of optimism and like love and happiness and like I loved Kendrick Lamar's performance don't get me wrong and I'm not I'm not even comparing them other than the fact that it was like last year and also made people mad because they like didn't get it it was different it felt like a more positive version of that but still was like laden with as much symbolism and it just felt like I don't know I I think Bad Bunny is like really – I really like him. I think something like really – I think he has a really like nice aura. Him giving his younger self a Grammy was so cute too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean there were – I love just like him – I think I liked the way he was like walking through and seeing all these different like stage spots. I don't know. Like I just thought the whole thing was like such a delight. Well, not everybody was delighted by the halftime show. As Bad Bunny's star has risen, he's been consistently outspoken about his values, inclusivity, anti-colonialism, equality. He played zero shows in the continental U.S. on his last tour, despite the demand, because he was worried that ICE would target his audience. And it would. Yeah, exactly. And he endorsed Harris in the 2024 election. He's hot and he sings about making women come. So naturally, conservative men hate him as making women come is gay. Yes. Right wing responses to the halftime show were just pure drama. They were so dramatic. Like a fucking baby. Republican Tennessee Congressman Andy Ogles has he said he called for an inquiry into the NFL and NBC Universal. In a post, he said the halftime show had, quote, explicit displays of gay sexual acts, women gyrating provocatively and bad bunny. Oh, no, not women, not gyrating. And Bad Bunny shamelessly grabbing his crotch while dry humping the air and, quote, openly glorified sodomy and countless other unspeakable depravities. Oh, no. These are people who won't say shit about the Epstein files, by the way. Yeah. You want to talk about depravity? Like, are you kidding me? His depravity is air grinding. Yeah, air grinding and saying words that he didn't like in a language he doesn't understand. He probably had to go to Genius, hit Translate, and then was like, no, no. He can't move that fast. He doesn't – look, that's the other thing. It's like I know – like they're not actually mad. They just know that it's time to get mad. And they all lied about watching their dumbass turning point counter-programming where you could actually hear some lyrics about – I mean Kid Rock sings about underage. Kid Rock lip syncs about underage. he doesn't sing you're right you're right you're right he lives things kid rock is a 50 something guy who had like two hits during the tRL era and so he's just as relevant as bad bunny um the most popular recording artist in the world currently um yeah you're you're right it is it is all very phony i think it is it is phony the anger is phony the like what that what they're offended by is phony uh the tp usa uh halftime counter programming that had a guy and it named like i don't know i make fun of his name all the time but it was sounded like like a ai generated country name it was like braxley hinkston or something like that oh oh yeah yeah yeah um Huxley Braxford. Yeah, yeah. Bradelin. Yeah. White man. Braxton Hicks. Klinefelter's. Yes, Klinefelter's I think is the bridal store. That's where they get the dresses before Braxton Hicks gets married to someone. The TPUSA show aired on a couple of random channels and on YouTube. It amassed about 5.2 million views compared to like 135 plus million views from Bad Bunny. It did garner TPUSA a million more subscribers on YouTube. So if you like this Kid Rock performance. I don't believe that. If you like this Kid Rock performance. Can I tell you something, Erin? These numbers. Erin, I'm a social media person. These numbers don't add up. I don't think they got 5 million. I actually don't think they got 5 million views. Really? I think because the chat wasn't active. And it usually is very active with 5 million people. Interesting. And wasn't active for 5 million people. And I also, you don't, if you have 5 million people watching something, you don't convert at 20%. So they, especially if the people watching are already your fans. So those numbers were, they bought themselves, I believe. I mean, this is an allegation. I believe they bought themselves the million followers. And I also believe that they bought themselves a lot of the traffic that was watching it at the time. Okay, Candice Owen. Because those numbers, look, the numbers, that's not how things convert. Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting because you and Candace Owens, I made a joke, but you guys are in lockstep here because Candace is on the case when it comes to all things. I just love her. She is. I love her Norma Ray. Oh, yeah. She is Norma Ray now. She is all about the mistreatment of the employees at Turning Point USA. She is like out and speaking. She's the only person who liked Charlie Kirk. I think she is the only person who actually liked Charlie Kirk. But she is on the case and she had a similar point. She's just like, yeah, there's no way that this does not make sense. Now, Sammy, let's talk culture war, because I think that this was a real distillation of the culture war in the last couple of weeks. By my tally, liberals now get custody of football, American football, bad bunny, young single women. They already had custody of young single women. Olympians and asses. We get butts. We get butts based off the Super Bowl halftime show and the fact that conservatives were like, not the asses. No. So the right gets Kid Rock pyrotechnic funerals and complaining about swears. So is the right now suddenly really, really losing the culture war? You missed one. Oh, what? And we also got the Second Amendment, apparently. I didn't want it, but we got it. We get guns now. Oh, my God. Yeah, I mean, I'm not interested, but I know we want a big tent. So, okay, are they losing the culture war? I think that it has me thinking that the culture war was never like as one on the right as one would think. Two reasons. One, a lot of it was like first of all like pumped up on social media by the platforms by, you know, and encouraged by the algorithms and like distorted. So I think we are A, looking at like a distortion of the extent to which the manosphere dominated. Yes. Um, that's number one. I think that was like oversold, though it was important. Number two, the reason that that like flourished was very temporary. And it was a very much a reaction to two things like COVID over wokeness and like the Biden and Biden lying about being old and refusing to acknowledge like reality, which is that he was old and the economy was bad. That was really the issue. It's like you have a week, you don't have any defense because Biden's the president and you have like a really strong offense that made people think like, this is it. Oh, we're, we're, you know, we all, you know, and then when he got elected, it was like, oh, we are free to say the R word and like the F word. Like, okay. How many people is that really versus how many people are just kind of like, oh, it's annoying that I like, like, oh, I think your land acknowledgement's bullshit. Like how many people like actually just think that, but don't want to like overturn liberal values and still like inclusivity and think other cultures are cool to integrate with versus how many people were just like a little tired of like having to adjust their language when someone's pronouns are different. Yeah. I think that there was like the liberal scold got really like played up. And as like every single liberal is like a Tumblr woke scold from 2011. And I think the right kind of seized on that and made it seem like it was worse than it was. But otherwise, I think that's good. And also people were people, I think, who were maybe more like moderate or not even moderate, just maybe like not on board with like all the panics that came up every time. Like you were incentivized to like not say anything about that. Like you were incentivized to just either shut up or like join in. Yeah. Well, we got butts now. So butts and guns. So take that. And Olympics. We're going to take a quick break. When we come back, Sani Petty. Thank you. inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. And welcome back. You are listening to Hysteria, the podcast that really wants to know the context in which the Phantom Thread music was used in the Melania doc. I still haven't seen it. The blockbuster Melania documentary. But apparently they used music from the Academy Award winning film, The Phantom Thread Without Permission, in it. They always do that shit. Oh my God. I mean, like you're picking, that is a Paul Thomas Anderson film with a famous soundtrack. That's crazy. Pick something a little more obscure to steal. You know what I mean? That's pretty brazen. That's pretty brazen. It just shows they know that they're not going to be in trouble. Yeah. I'm going to start real quick with my Sani and Petty this week. There was some drama on the fringe far right on the web the other week. I don't know if you caught up with this, Sammy Sage. But it's a guy named Elijah Schaefer who is now just as divorced as you would expect him to have eventually been after it was revealed that he had an affair with a conservative influencer named Sarah Stock. Sarah Stock, who was with somebody else at the time as well. So Elijah cheated on his wife. His wife left him with his kids. He seems to be having a complete crash out involving like drugs and alcohol and stuff. Milo, blast from the past, Milo Yiannopoulos, was the one that was like gleefully recounting all of the like beat by beat, you know, affair, revelation, hypocrisy. These women are sluts, blah, blah, blah, blah, etc. And, you know, I think that it's really unfair that in general, when there's an affair revealed, the unmarried female partner gets like given more blame than the married man who is making a decision within the context of a marriage. But I also like am tired of coming to run to the rescue of conservative women who are like, I never thought the anti-feminism would get me. It's like, I guess you kind of made your bed. Like I'm not. Yeah. So that's kind of how I feel. Okay. I think there's like sort of a mirror of that with people like who are realizing that like Trump is bad and they're like, I'm sorry, I didn't realize blah, blah, blah. And people, there's like this temptation to want to like yell at them. And I think like the best approach is sort of just like neutral. Cause like if you yell at them, that doesn't help. If you're nice to them, that makes you feel annoyed at yourself and like makes other people feel like they have to be nice. But I think if you're just like, okay, great, keep going. Yeah, you just got to get a gray rocket. Like you don't want to encourage any, you're just like, okay. Or like if you suddenly looked and there was a raccoon in the corner of the room, you would be like, all right, I'm just not going to make any moves at all because I don't want you to do anything crazy right now. And I don't want to get bit. Maybe throw them a like on their post, but not a congratulations. Yeah, right. Just throw them a, just don't unfollow, you know? Yeah. Yeah. All right, Sammy, are you feeling sane or petty this week or a combination of both? I'm feeling petty. And while we're talking about like the conservative women be finding out, did you see that ballerina farm was selling raw milk and then had to recall it because it's raw milk? Oh, yes. And there were health issues. Oh, yes. Yeah, okay. So I don't wish anyone illness from drinking this, but I do wish her business some financial illness from trying to sell this to people, refusing to educate yourself about it. And actually, like, just – it's disgusting. It's so fucking American to – like, this is also another petty thing I'm thinking. about why is that we are having the biggest measles outbreak in like recent history it's like we fixed this already we fixed this just pasteurize your fucking milk and get the vaccine but then i'm like you know what you guys deserve to find out because you we fixed it and you chose not to be on board with that yeah it's like not only are we it's like not only are we not moving forward and learning new lessons we are like going back and being like actually why is that in the first like what even is water. You know what I mean? Like questions. Prove it. Yeah. Yeah. Questions that you would ask when you were like high on your first edible in college. Are we sure gravity is real? Yeah. Why do we walk with like opposite hands, like with our feet? Why can't I just walk with the same hand and foot out at the same time? Like, why doesn't like, yeah, it's just like, it is like a, why don't, why do we have two legs instead of one? Yeah. Would it be easier? Cause like you could only break one leg instead of two. Yeah, no, it's it's that it's that sort of like, oh, my God, the children have been left behind. Like we need we need political thinking and reasoning. And yeah, I think the thing that makes me the most pessimistic, like where it's like, OK, look, we're going to win in 2026. We're going to win the election. You know, we're going to take back the House. We're going to take back the Senate and we're going to rain down political vengeance. And then eventually we're going to stamp out MAGA-ism. But then even after all of that, like fantasy revenge in my head, we are still going to be left with a population of people that in some cases because of their own fault. And then in others, because we put them, we handed them a telephone at 11 years old and like just let them scroll until they, their IQ went down to like 12. And created conditions by defunding education. Yes. So what are we going to do with all these dummies? Adult dummies too. Like what are we going to do? We're going to have to fix the dummies. It's going to be a long road, a generation-long vocation. Okay, the thing is we can't fix dummies, but we can fix what the dummies hear and who has access to the dummies. And I really think that at the bottom, at the end of the day, we need to get money out of politics because if you can get all of the influences that are corrupt out, then maybe you could achieve something. And it doesn't matter if the people are stupid because they're not being fed lies. Or if they are fed lies, like they're being balanced by reality or the fact that you can't, like, that there isn't enough interference that the dummies are, because think about it. If the dummies were that important, then the smart people, like the elections were like, the dummies didn't win. I can't remember calling them dummies. If the elections were they didn't win, more would have been able to be achieved. It's like they're sort of just able to be captured by whatever the forces are. I think that the dummies need to have their basic needs taken care of just as a matter of course. Everybody has human rights. Smarties, dummies, everybody. Everybody deserves health care. Everybody deserves education. Everybody deserves good movies to go to so that they don't spend all their time scrolling through disinfo sites. It's like, you know, there's like if we achieve a level of like basic care and people's needs being met, then like we won't have angry dummies pointing their finger at the wrong things and like getting mad at the wrong people and falling for the wrong messages. Less susceptible to grievance. That's literally like how fascists rise. Absolutely. Well, on that note, that's all the time we have for this week's very special Sammy Sage episode of Hysteria. Thank you so much for joining this week. This was really, really fun. You are so welcome. We should just do Zoom calls together. I miss Alyssa too. I know. Next time. I know. Next time. Alyssa will be back next week, listeners. So don't worry. Don't panic. She'll be back. And if you want to get in touch, hysteria at crooked.com is our email address. There will be more hysteria for you next week. Don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Subscribe to Hysteria on YouTube for access to video versions of your favorite segments and other exclusive content. And if you're as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a nice review. Hysteria is a Crooked Media production. Caroline Reston is our senior producer. Our executive producer is me, Aaron Ryan. And Alyssa Mastromonaco is our co-producer. Claire Fogarty is our associate producer. The show is engineered and edited by Jordan Cantor. We get audio support from Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis. Our video producers are Rachel Gajewski and Claudia Scheng. Matt DeGroat is our head of production. Adrian Hill is our head of news and politics. Kendra James is our executive producer of culture and entertainment. And thank you to Daisy Cruz and David Toles for production and marketing support every week. Our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side.