Muffin of Doom: The Greatest Game of Parkour Hide and Seek (feat. Koo Koo)

Hey grownups! Today's episode is sponsored by Bombus! You know, people keep asking me about my 2026 resolutions and I'm like, bruh, it's February. I thought we left our New Year's resolutions in January, but then I remember the number one resolution at the top of my list, getting comfy! And that's where Bombus comes in. They're bringing serious comfort to all my everyday go-tos. This year, I've been watching the Winter Olympics a lot and I'm thinking of taking up the Luge. And wow, the all-new Bombus Sport socks would be perfect for that. They're cushioned where I would theoretically need it most, sweat wicking and loaded with other tech features that I'm sure would keep me comfy and locked in on the Luge track. Even more in my lane, Bombus has me covered for those everyday around-the-house resolutions with the comfiest footwear imaginable. For example, this weekend I'm planning on answering the door in my brand new Saturday Suede slip-on shoes. They give the illusion that I'm on the go, with more comfort than you could ever imagine, and underneath it all the softest base layers that will have you rethinking your whole wardrobe. Bombus underwear and t-shirts are flexible, breathable and buttery smooth. Premium everyday go-tos that I won't leave the house without. And here's my favorite part for every item you purchase. An essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased, one donated with over 150 million donations and counting. So head on over to bombus.com slash family26 and use code family26 for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash family26. Code family26 at checkout. Hey story pirates, podcast listeners, Lee here. Today we have a very special bonus episode for you featuring another new story that was written by not one, not two, but over a hundred different kids in our Creator Club. We also have a very special edition of Story Pirates Roll Call featuring special guests Kukoo. And it's all coming up right after a few words for the grown-ups. I'm very different from everybody. Confusion is the step before curiosity. Okay, that's a really funny idea. We have to send that in. I just get some joy when I hear other people giggling. I believe all of the things in that story. Human beings are just able to create. This is only pirates. Okay everybody, here's what's up. As you may know, every once in a while we invite all our Creator Club members to join me and Peter on a Zoom to write a story together. Over a hundred different kids from all over the world showed up and together we wrote an incredible story about spies, hide and seek, parkour, zombies, robots, and a muffin of doom. And PS grown-ups, we're doing this whole thing again on Zoom with me and Peter in October and it's not too late to get your kids involved. We're going to write a brand new story together and then adapt it for the podcast just like in today's episode. Information on how to join us is in the episode description for today's episode. So grown-ups, check it out and join us. And now without further ado, we present to you a story by the Story Pirates Creator Club Muffin of Doom. The greatest game of parkour, hide and seek. I'm so bored. Another day of sitting in the spy office with nothing to do for me blip the elephant I guess. Hey blip, who you talking to? No one. I'm just really ready for another spy mission. I hate being cooped up at the office. What kind of mission do you think we'll have next? Down now. I just locked a guy with a flow. You certainly do, baby. By the way, I've never asked you this but how come your name is baby, baby? You're 34 and an Australian platypus. My name's baby for the same reason I'm always wearing this viking helmet. No reason. My name. Alright. Baby, let's stop waiting around and just barge into our boss's office to ask for a mission. Come on. Blip, baby. Hey DJ. Say, that's a great dress. Does it have elephants on it? It sure does. Just because I'm the spy boss and an axolotl doesn't mean I can't have style. Aksh, aksh. Bless you. Thanks, baby. Now enough messing around. I have a mission for you. Finally. As you know, this is the most highly respected spy agency in the world and our people have to be ready at a moment's notice to operate within any possibilities. That's why the agency is called People of Operative Possibilities or for short, poop. Why does everyone laugh when I say that? Sorry. Continue. Here at poop, we have a reputation to uphold which is why it's so important that we compete and win in this year's national spy championships in Espana. Of course. This year, we're up against our arch rivals, the Evil Spy Corporation, an agency so evil that they only employ zombies, robots and more robots. I really hate those more robots. We all do, baby, which is why I'm sending you two to win in the ultimate spy game, hide and seek. You're sending an elephant to play hide and seek? Watch yourself, baby. I'm great at hide and seek. DJ, we won't let you down. Those zombies, robots and more robots won't be able to find us. They better not. Now, before you head to Spain, Dumbo's here from the gadget department. Hello, Agent Blip, Agent Baby. How's it going, Dumbo? Great. Not only am I a wiener dog and huge, but I'm also the gadget guy. Yes, we know. What do you have for us? I have this. Ooh, a muffin, yummy. No, don't eat that. Huh? That's no ordinary muffin. That's the muffin ray of doom. That's a pretty intense name. It's a pretty intense muffin. You see, it shoots hundreds of tiny, blinding, bright muffins. Not sure when we'll need that to play hide and seek, but we'll take it with us. Do you have something to carry it in? No. All right then. Thanks. Come on, baby, to Spain. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, and animals and spies to the World Spy Championships final event, hide and seek. In this corner, we have Blip and Baby from the People of Operative Possibilities, or Poop for short. Hola, España. And in the other corner, Poop will be competing against their arch rivals, the Evil Spy Corporation. We are zombies. And robots. And more robots. You don't need to say more robots. It's redundant. Strong disagree. There's a clear distinction between the robots and the more robots. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. There's much to do about it. Slap, slap, slap, slap. How? How? Quiet, robots. Sorry. It's time to hide and seek. Here are the rules. If the hiders aren't found in the allotted amount of time, they get points. They also get points if they can travel to multiple places and not be found. Oh, and also extra points for doing parkour. Hola, parkour. Any questions? Yes, several actually. How does... Great. Poop. You're hiding first. You have a 20 minute head start. Go. Blip, where should we go? I know the perfect three places to hide. Let's go, baby. Parkour. Parkour. Parkour. Parkour. Parkour. Here we are in a place that zombies, robots and more robots would never think to find us. A jungle gym. Not sure about that logic, but it seems to have worked. No one's around. Shall we go to the second place? Let's go, baby. Parkour. Parkour. Parkour on the monkey bars. Parkour. Parkour on the slide. Parkour. Parkour. Parkour. Here we are at the second place. A place that no robot would look for us. A coral reef. Beautiful, I'm odd-ed. Shall we go to the third and final place? Let's go. Underwater parkour. Parkour. Underwater parkour. We're just swimming, really. Swim. Swim gaw. Swim gaw. Swim gaw. Here we are in the final place, the Eiffel Tower. Wow, these croissants are delicious. Hey, Blip, can we stay here forever? No, baby. We have to return to Espana. All right. Let's go. Time's up and the evil spies failed to find Boop. So Blip and baby managed to hide in three different places while doing a ton of very cool parkour. They get a whole bunch of points. Oh, man. They made us look like fools out there. Don't worry, we robots can out-hide them all. Us more robots, too. That's implied. Don't tell me what I meant. I'll tell you what you meant. Get out of my face. Your programming is faulty. Oh, are you front-taining? Is faulty. Don't laugh. I'll bling it. Ow, ow. If I could feel, I would hurt. Robots, quit it. Sorry. It's your time to hide in three, two, one. Come on, let's go. Follow me this way. This isn't over. No, your GPS is faulty. I can't hear you. All right, Boop. In 20 minutes, you get to give chase. And I know just where to look to find a zombie. Where? We're going to the graveyard. Here we are at the graveyard. But they're not here, Blip. Only a bunch of skeletons. Would you like to hear some music? I could play my ribs like a marimba. Oh, yeah. Listen. Oh, yeah, marimba. Uh, no thanks, skeleton. Oh, man. Where to now, Blip? The Tower of London. It's creepy in here, but still no zombies. Let's try a stinky swamp. This place is stinky, and there's no zombies. Maybe we should try where a robot might go. Let's go to a robot factory. Hi, and welcome to the robot factory. Do you have any robots? All sold out. Rats, let's go to the catacombs. The what? There's no one here except— More skeletons? 5678. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Stop it! Aw. Let's go to the fancy robot charging building. I can't believe it, Blip. There's not a single robot even here. Are we about to lose to the evil spa corporation? Not if I have anything to do with it. Baby, where is the very last place you would expect to find zombies, robots, and more robots? I don't know. Maybe, uh, at a trash can at the end of the rainbow? That's it! Baby, follow me! Hey, you guys are taking up too much space behind this trash can. If they manage to find the end of the rainbow here, they will see my rotting limbs sticking out. It's not my fault. It's the more robots. Oh, now that there's someone to blame, there is a distinction between robots. Don't get me started, hypocrite. You think you are the tempest of my face? Robots, quit your fighting. Because you've been found. Oh, man, they found us! That's right, which means the winner of the 2025 World Spy Championship is Pop! Oh, sorry, I misread that. Poop! We did it! We finally defeated the evil spa corporation! You sure did! Boss, what are you doing here? I'm here to present this year's first place prize, Blip Baby! On behalf of all the spies of the world, we present you with this. A meeting with King Mut! That's right, it's me, King Mut! Wow, I can't believe we're meeting thee, King Mut! And I rarely make public appearances. Which is why losing this competition was all part of our plan! What? We only competed to bring King Mut out of hiding, so we could steal his power! Oh no, it's a foolproof plan! Robots, capture him! Okay, no he meant us. They were talking to me. Oh, really? You are another robot. I'm gonna have to slap, slap quickly while they're distracted. Do something! But all I have in my pocket is this muffin of doom! Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Baby? Use the muffin of doom to defeat the evil spa corporation, then do parkour into a freeze frame while awesome guitar music plays for a couple of seconds before we unfreeze and both scream the end? I was thinking literally all of that. Muffin of doom! Muffin of doom! Muffin of doom! Parkour! Freeze frame! The end! We'll be right back after a few words from the grownups. Hey grownups! Today's episode is sponsored by Bombus! You know, people keep asking me about my 2026 resolutions, and I'm like, bruh, it's February. I thought we left our New Year's resolutions in January, but then I remember the number one resolution at the top of my list, getting comfy! And that's where Bombus comes in. They're bringing serious comfort to all my everyday go-tos. This year, I've been watching the Winter Olympics a lot, and I'm thinking of taking up the Luge. And wow, the all-new Bombus sports socks would be perfect for that. They're cushioned where I would theoretically need it most, sweat wicking and loaded with other tech features that I'm sure would keep me comfy and locked in on the Luge track. Even more in my lane, Bombus has me covered for those everyday around-the-house resolutions with the comfiest footwear imaginable. For example, this weekend I'm planning on answering the door in my brand new Saturday's suede slip-on shoes. They give the illusion that I'm on the go, with more comfort than you could ever imagine, and underneath it all the softest base layers that will have you rethinking your whole wardrobe. Bombus underwear and t-shirts are flexible, breathable, and buttery smooth. Premium everyday go-tos that I won't leave the house without. And here's my favorite part for every item you purchase. An essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased, one donated, with over 150 million donations and counting. So head on over to bombus.com slash family26 and use code family26 for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash family26 code family26 at checkout. And now it's time for Story Pirates Roll Call! Tell us your story, we read them all. You know we love them. Now it's time for Story Pirates Roll Call! Welcome back to Story Pirates Roll Call, where we read stories written by kids and then talk about them and, you know, we're inspired by them, we're awed by them. We dissect them maybe a little bit, Peter. Yeah. Is here. Yes, I am. As well as our incredible special guest today, who the Story Pirates are going on tour with this October, please welcome Brian and Neil from Cuckoo! Woo! What's up, guys? Whoa! A two-date tour. Wow, two-date tour. You all are doing a lot more shows, but we're just jumping on for two of them, a little sampler. All right, let's get into the first story. This first story is by a seven-year-old in the United Kingdom named Freya. And Freya's story is called the afternoon T-Rex. T-Rex spelled T-E-A, T-Rex, like that you drink. Of course, I got it. Yeah, you get it. Okay. You guys have had tea before. You know what? You ever heard of it? Yeah, we've had a spit-out liquid before. Yeah, we've had tea. Once there was a dinosaur that was a type of dinosaur called an afternoon T-Rex. It was kind of like a T-Rex, but it ate afternoon tea every day, and it was obsessed with tea. He had a hat that was in the shape of a tea cup. The only problem was because his arms were so tiny, it was really hard for him to actually drink tea from a tea cup, which made him very sad. He was always spilling tea, and he couldn't reach his mouth with the little sandwiches. He usually just ate with his mouth straight off the table. And one day, when he was just walking along sadly, he saw another afternoon T-Rex. She looked just like him, but bigger, and with a teapot hat. Hello, he said. Hello, said the other afternoon T-Rex. They started talking and realized that they both spilled tea every day and sometimes couldn't even put the little sandwiches in their mouths, all because of their tiny arms. The first afternoon T-Rex asked the other one to dance. They got to a part where they were spinning around holding claws, and they loved spinning around, so they kept spinning and spinning and spinning until their arms stretched. Now they could drink tea from their tea cups and put as many little sandwiches in their mouths as they wanted. They were so happy. The only problem was now with their long arms, they sometimes tripped over, but they thought it was worth it for all the tea. The end. Wow. It's like a rom-com. This is gorgeous. Yeah, it's inspiring. Sometimes you just got to meet the right person, and your biggest problems in your life will be solved. I just can't get the image out of my head of two T-Rexes with super long dangly arms that they trip over. Yeah, it's an interesting version of the tiny arms joke, right? It's a nice spin on that. I was thinking, I was thinking, see, they're going to be stretchy. I was like, this is either going to be stretchy arms, or they're going to 3D print an insane cup that goes up to their mouth, and then it's this whole new craft fair business of T-Rex 3D printing, which still could happen in the sequel. That's where my mind was going to. It was more of a cyborg situation, though. I thought they were going to acquire some sort of attachment to be able to have longer arms and drink the tea, or some sort of beverage device that attached to the beverage and allowed them to drink it in a different way. But we got to body modification one way or the other. Do you guys think the arms are stretched out at the forearm or from elbow to shoulder? I guess I can sort of imagine it was an equitable stretch. It was a uniform pull. Yeah. Now, Freya, you started off with tea, but the actual best part about this story is sandwiches, because that's what's really important here. A little sandwich. Because this could be savory, it could be sweet, it could be like a little strawberry cream sandwich, a little crumpet. I want biscuits, I want all that stuff. I want crackers, little cookies. I want it all. Well, Freya's from the UK. That's true. Freya knows her afternoon tea treats and their little sandwiches. That's true. Gentlemen, let's get on to our next story. I was wondering, Neil, would you read this next story for us? It's by 14-year-old Titus in Canada, and it's called Submarines in Origin Story. Would you read it for us? I'd love to. Thank you, Titus, for sending this one in. Submarines in Origin Story. Hello, and welcome to History Class. I'm Mr. Albert, and today I'll be teaching you the history of not-so-subtle submarines. Let's begin. Submarines were invented during the World Sub-Sandwich War, when subcontractors sub-leased several sub-plots of land that were subdivided in Nebraska. Submarines were supposed to dig through subsoils under the Nebraska farmland, but failed. So they were moved to Nebraska's only tiny pond. After that, well, you know the rest. If you want a more detailed explanation of submarine history, go watch my video on my YouTube channel, Sub-Soderi Subways under Sudsbury. Any questions? Yes, sir, I have a lot of questions. My first one is, ding, save by the bell. The end. Amazing story. Brian, any thoughts? I thought Neil was actually just saying, like, I have a question about this story. That's the sign of a good actor, is he thought he was coming out of the story, but he was actually so deep in character. Yeah, I'm trying to think how many usages of sub is in there. It's like five different usages of sub in the subterranean. So I do have a question about this story. By the bell, it says at the end, does this mean that Mr. Albert made all this up in the world of the story? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I believe that Mr. Albert has realized we've entered a new era where you can't ignore YouTube if you want to have a business, if you want to make money and make a living. And so he's trying to increase his YouTube subscribers by making up wild stories in class and then pointing his kids in his class to his YouTube channel so that they'll go and subscribe thinking they'll hear something wild and crazy. So he's a YouTube conspiracy theorist? Well, yes. I guess so. He's making up alternate histories. He's a revisionist history. Irresponsible, Mr. Albert. It is very irresponsible. And I don't think it's appropriate for him to be doing that in class. But at least Titus, in writing the story, like he's a real pro when he shared the link for his YouTube, he went into the settings and got the shareable link and didn't do the main one on the bottom that has the dot shared file. So like you know Titus is grinding. You know, he's working hard. Same with Albert. They could have bitly linked it. They could have tiny URLed it. All right. We have one more story to go here. Peter, would you do us the honor of reading this for us? I would love to. Our final story comes to us today from an eight-year-old from Georgia named Lorelei. And Lorelei's story is called Attack of the Immortal Alien Cockroaches. I am a shoe. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am a shoe. I have a great tale to tell you. Dramatic pause. It is the origin story of aliens. Proud. Huh? Weird talking shoe. Basically how aliens came to be. Oh, narrator. Once upon a time, Josephine and Emmy were playing in the pool when they saw a cockroach. When Josephine scooped it up with a reusable water balloon and put it on the side of the pool, it moved. Ah, they both screamed and Emmy ran away screaming. Emmy climbed a tree and the cockroach followed. I, the narrator, also ran away screaming. Anyway, back to the story. Emmy luckily had a parachute in her swimsuit. The cockroach did too? Cockroach. Hee hee hee hee. I got you now! After Emmy got to the ground, she ran to her house and jumped acrobatically to her deck. And then the cockroach pulled out of umbrella and a fan and flew up to the deck. She went to get her mom, who apparently built spaceships and they sent the cockroach off to the moon. Cockroach. I want to be back for revenge! One day you'll see! Dramatic spaceship. She spaceship blast off. They sent him up without a spacesuit thinking he would die. But the cockroach had a secret. He was immortal and so eventually he became an alien cockroach and went to crop farms to get revenge. And that's the story of how aliens came to be. The end. Narrator. I'm just a narrator who is hired by the weird shoe. Weird talking shoe. Hey! Narrator. I got hired! I did not want to do this. The end. I'm really unprofessional of the narrator to just lay it out like that at the end of the story. Yeah. I guess what he's doing really is preparing for a future where the cockroaches are ruling us. Can cockroaches live on the moon actually with no oxygen? I can't remember. I know they can like live in insane environments and stuff like that. They cannot. But you know what can? They cannot. Is a tardigrade. You know a tardigrade? Oh yeah, tardigrade. Yeah, those tiny microscopic entities or living... They look like little... They're more than one cell, right? They look like little bears. But they're the smallest of them and you can freeze them, you can take them to space and you can thaw them out and they're the hardest things to kill. Tardigrade? Yeah. Or a microscopic like being. Wow. They've got legs. They're cute. That's cool. Something I liked about this story is that it's like a meta situation where it's like someone... It's like a story about a story. Is that a common thing in the story pirates universe or the submissions you get? It's fairly common. We've talked about this before. Narrators are often... Self-aware. Yeah, and emboldened in a way that... But this has... Makes them behave in questionable ways. This has another layer to it, more than normal, which is the weird talking shoe, which is the backstory we have not explored, is the one who hired the narrator and needed to tell this story. The talking shoe did not really want the adoring public that's listening to the story to know that the mom makes the spaceship. It was like real like... Oh, right. It's just slid it in there, you know? Guys, it has been so wonderful to have you here. Kuku is touring basically everywhere all the time. So go, where can they find you guys online? Well, there's a thing called the internet and you type in her name and you hope you find it. And if you want to see... Pizza is a website. Kuku.pizza? Yeah, that's our website. That is the best website that's ever heard of. All right. And if you want to see Kuku with the Story Pirates live in October, we're going to be performing with them in Missoula, Montana, October 17th. Travel to see it. We are also going to be in Boise, Idaho with Kuku on October 21st. And to read all of today's stories, just go to StoryPirates.com. And remember, you can watch an even longer version of Roll Call on the Story Pirates YouTube page with help from your grownup. Now it's time for you to write us a story. Grownups can submit stories at StoryPirates.com. And remember, we respond to every single story we receive. That was Roll Call. That's it for today's episode. Grownups, don't forget to check the show notes for today's episode to find out how your kids can join us for our next Create a Story session in October. We'll be back next week with more new stories. Until then, stay creative and stay kind. Bye! The StoryPirates podcast is a production of StoryPirates Studios. Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salca. This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, and Lee Overtree. Recording sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Roll Call theme by Andrew Barbada. Musical scoring by Jack Mitchell. Artwork by Camilla Franklin. This episode features performances by Alec Brown, Christina Grosspeach, Allie Haas, Tara Halpern, Nea Maya Marcos, Peter McNerney, Lee Overtree, and Harry Wood. Hey, robots, I'm upset that we were defeated and I blame you. What are you gonna do about it? I'll slap fight all day. Get in here. Stop it. What do you got? Stop it. Come here. Get your metal robot hands out of my space. Oh, I'll show you space. Respect my boundaries. Boundaries. Oh yeah. Take this. No. I'll get you. I'll get you. Ow. Ow. Ow. Hey, what's that on your robot shirt? Where? Boink. Ow. Got you. My nose. My robot nose. Look over there. What's where? Oh, you got me. Ow. Ow. I'll give you robot wedgie. Jokes on you. It doesn't work. Don't wear underwear. Shoot. I'll give you robot wet willy. Actually, that's not safe. I'll get you. Water and robots don't miss. Oh, I'll show you. Boink. Ow. Down. More robot. Are you okay? Nothing to see here. I'm slowly walking away. Everything's fine. I'm so sorry.