I Kept Punishing My Sister For Lying, Until I Caught My Girlfriend | r/Relationships Reddit

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Yeah, it's going well. The new series of the young offenders. I'm going to be a bad buy forever. Watch on BBC Eye Player. Grace Dent here from the podcast Comfort Eating, currently being supported by Eminem's Cookie Doe Flavour, a masterpiece of texture. You've got that classic, satisfying, crunchy Eminem's chocolate shell, the one that gives way with a proper snap. And then inside you hit a gorgeous, creamy Cookie Doe Flavour centre. The best part, well, it's all the joy of Cookie Doe Flavour with absolutely no baking required. So if you're looking for a new favourite treat for your next sofa session, give Eminem's Cookie Doe Flavour a try. Available in stores now. Hey, Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider in a like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. And let's crack on with today's first story. Much love, guys. Now, today's first story comes from a throwaway account from the relationships subreddit. And it says, I mail 21, caught my girlfriend, female 22 in a lie that would have got my little sister, female 11, in big trouble. It starts to get to the point. My little sister lives with me since about four months ago because my mom's house is not a good place for children. Long story for another subreddit. So my sister has been good so far, way better grades in school. She's happier and has a new interest in sports and normal kid things. So we're kind of a happy bunch except for one thing. My girlfriend is not thrilled and my little sister lives with us. It has made her extremely resentful towards my mom for being such a whatever she is. And my mom deserves it. But I spoke to my girlfriend about not letting my sister know how she feels so she doesn't feel unwanted. But this has not been the case I found out. My sister has chores that she has to do and she has additional chores that she does that earn her money for extra things like going to the movies or for yogurt with her friends. Nothing big, no child labor laws are being violated or anything. But from the beginning, my sister is missed on doing some of her basic chores. Cleaning her room, a bathroom, making her bed, vacuuming and some kitchen stuff. My girlfriend was constantly doing it to pick up the slack and letting me know about it. I kept my sister home from some things she wanted to do with her friends and was even more mad that she would lie and deny she didn't clean her bathroom for example. I came home several times to find my sister outside playing with friends. Only to walk inside and find my girlfriend making her bed or cleaning her bathroom. My sister flat out started accusing my girlfriend of lying but not to her face, just privately to me. Then on Saturday I came home after grocery shopping. I asked my sister to put away all the groceries in their right place. I had to run back to the store. I went back in the yard to grab some tools out of my shed that I needed to return to my friend on my way to the store. While I was on the phone with my friend from my backyard, I could see my sister put away all the groceries. Then she got picked up by her friend's mom for a birthday party. I was in the backyard longer than expected and saw my girlfriend walk into the kitchen after my sister left and literally pull out all the groceries from the fridge, cupboards and everywhere else and stuff it back in the bags. I wasn't sure what was going on. I was so in denial I guess that I didn't immediately figure it out. I actually went out the side gate and drove to my friends. I was at his house and my girlfriend calls me and tells me that my sister left to the birthday party and left all the groceries out everywhere in the kitchen. I don't know why, but I was so distracted that day that I didn't figure it out until I got the call. I have no excuse for that other than I had a lot on my mind last week. I briefly told my friend, male 50s about this. It was like, you have to break up with this girl mad. I really am in love with my girlfriend, but this is kind of big because it makes my sister's past claims suddenly seem true. To conclude here, I came home and my girlfriend was putting all the groceries away that my sister had purposely neglected to do. I was so shocked that I watched her finish the chore without saying a word as she went off on me about not being able to pair him properly and implying my sister needs a different place to stay. I confronted her after she was done, but I can't even remember the reason she gave me. I was dizzy from just pure disbelief. I know that groceries is not that big of a deal, but my head was just spinning as my girlfriend cried and told me she was just trying to prove her otherwise valid point. I asked her to leave for a few days, but now I'm feeling guilty and confused what the right thing to do is. She's been calling me. I don't want to drag this one forever without a decision for everybody's sake. But I have zero idea what to do. Edit, my girlfriend has lived with me for almost a year. Edit, after typing this and reading it over, it hit me way harder how insane this is. I just needed to put pen to paper and it decluttered me somehow. I'm more relaxed and see more clearly. I know exactly what I have to do and want to do. Thanks for all the comments. I didn't mean to sound so clueless. And obviously the realization was starting to hit OP by the end there, but it's absolutely awful. OP's 11 year old sister, who just got out of a real bad home situation by the sounds of it, is being sabotaged, damaged by his current girlfriend. I'm guessing in an attempt to get her removed from the house at someone who's willing to harm a child to get what she wants. And it sounded like the sister was trying to tell the truth and wasn't believed. I can't imagine how she felt in that moment. She's finally in a place where she felt safe and seemed to be doing better, only to be then set up by this girlfriend and caught a liar by someone who she would be hoping would have her back. And that is an absolute be done with this relationship situation. There is no coming back from that. Someone willing to do this to an 11 year old, a vulnerable 11 year old at that is just crazy ass behavior. Commodore says question, does your girlfriend live with you? If she does, can you make that clearer in your post? So I'm gonna write this assuming that she does live with you because that is what it sounds like. How did your sister come to live with you? Was she forced onto you guys? Did you offer to take your sister in? Did you ever discuss any of this with your girlfriend? Your girlfriend may be feeling resentful because she feels like she had no say if your sister was going to live with you guys. This in turn has caused her to lash out in ways to try and get rid of your sister. I'm not trying to defend your girlfriend because I don't think what she did was right. But taking your post at face value, you took in another house member without ever discussing it with your girlfriend. The only way to move forward is to actually talk to your girlfriend. Maybe she has other concerns about your sister living with you guys. Can you guys afford having a dependent? These are all things you guys need to talk about. You also need to confront her for lying. She may not enjoy having your sister around, but that gives her no right to try and frame your sister and not doing her chores. Hope he responded saying, okay, yeah, she lives with me and I'll change this on the post. Little background, my mom is a meth addict. My dad died six years ago. My mom has turned her house into a party house. I enlisted but got hurt and discharged seven months in. I came home to find my sister living in a very bad place and she was completely miserable. She asked to go live with me. I bribed my mom into letting me have legal custody of my sister, which was not cheap or as simple as I thought it would be. But that's done and I'm doing that is not an option. My girlfriend does not work and yes, I can afford to support both of them. Another commenter says, you probably shouldn't live with anyone while raising your sister, considering you are so young yourself. Your age makes for an already awkward, difficult time and adding another person into the mix that you're not in a long-term relationship or marriage with is a bad idea. You didn't mention the length of your relationship, but I'm assuming you haven't been together that long. Hope he says, we were together just barely over a year, but I completely agree with you. I will not get a girlfriend again, maybe just casual dating, but I can't bring another person home ever again. Till my sister is gone in college, hopefully. Comrade says, she is trying to make you choose her over your sister. She is nuts and you are far too young for settle for someone so backwards. She has issues. Hope he says, this is almost word for word what my friend said. Another commenter says, your girlfriend is gaslighting you and your sister. She's jealous and attacking an 11 year old girl. Kick her to the curb. This is peppermint says, one dump girlfriend, two take parenting classes, three congratulate yourself on being a wonderful brother, four take sister out for ice cream and tell her you love her. So, OP does come in with an update and says I'll begin with the easy part, a quick update. I drove to my ex's parents house on Tuesday and took her the rest of her stuff. It started out bumpy because her dad met me on the driveway and argued with me about what he sees as my sister being a spoiled brat and turning me against his daughter. As soon as I started losing it and raising my voice, my ex ran out and sent him inside the house. I told her we're over and I'm moving on. She made some empty threats, but I just told her to do what she has to do and walked away. At night, I took a suggestion, repeat it here, to take my sister for ice cream and apologize. She chose frugos instead as usual. So, we went there and I explained how sorry I was and that I will be better. I told her that I totally believed her. She was happy to hear everything I had to say. It makes a huge difference to a child when you give a sincere apology I could tell. She even texted a couple of her friends to gloat that my ex was gone. Okay, now the hard part. On Wednesday, I took her to the park to kick a soccer ball around and to have an overdue talk with her. I asked her about my ex and she told me that she was mistreated by her more than I knew about. She had a lot to say about her time at mom's house during the time when I was away. I didn't know how hard it was for her when I enlisted and left. That was hard to hear. It was kind of a move to get myself out of a situation with zero thought to leaving her behind. The short version is that we've all failed her badly. She didn't say it, but just everything she has to say about how things have gone down around her made it clear. When I was first discharged, I got a good job working for the city. But I was drinking every weekend and my house was the hangout spot for my friends and that's how I met my ex. I was even drinking on a lot of weeknights. I didn't immediately take my sister with me even though I knew about how my mom was living. I wake up call was when my sister called me because the cops were there looking for mom to question her and her boyfriend. That was when I finally cleaned up, rented a house close to my sister's school and brought her to live with me. She doesn't remember that I waited so long to bring her with me. She remembers it as if I acted quickly, which is totally false and makes me look way better than I was. It was really shocking and brutal to hear things from her perspective. She's gone through more than I could have imagined. She's a very strong person. So definitely no more girlfriends for me for a long time. That was an emotionally expensive lesson to learn with everything that my sister had to go through while I was being blind and dumb. I'm going to wait and literally become a monk until she's in college. She gets so many straight A's with some B's here and there. She has a bright future. Edit and I'm sure I date someday again. Right now I'm not ready, not even close. I might be a few months away from changing my mind, but a couple of years is more likely. Watch on BBC iPlayer. One of the top commenters said to AP hugs and see about getting a good counselor for your sister to help her vent about your mum. She's going to internalize that as a band and man and they can really mess up a person once they hit adolescence. You want to avoid that. As a formerly single mum, dating is fine as long as you're smart about it. Make certain your sister has activities, a band, swimming, girl scouts, et cetera. Those are your date nights. Just sleep over at a friend's house. Encourage them. You have one at your house with your girlfriend. Don't introduce anyone until you've been dating them for over six months and it's getting serious. As in really serious. I can see myself getting married and having kids serious. Summer camps are great for opening up weeks at a time to get to know someone. Having a cousin who can visit for a week over spring or fall break can help too. You're doing a good job. Opie says I got help with finding a counselor that is really good for her. She has tons of abandonment issues starting from my dad to mum, to me going off when I enlisted. Literally everybody she loves walked out on her at one point or another. Commodore says don't beat yourself up. You could still be getting wasted every day and not giving a fuck about your little sister. You're doing the best you can and it's seriously much more than many other people would do. Dwelling on past mistakes wouldn't help you or your sister for the future. You've done well by getting rid of the psycho. Now move on. Have you thought about therapy for you both? Opie says my sister is gonna start seeing a child development counselor next week. She's married to my sister's maths teacher's cousin. She agreed to help and see my sister pro bono until I change her medical insurance to a plan that her practice accepts. I'm not planning on seeing anybody myself for now. Maybe later once things settle. I'm not sure I have time right now. Another Commodore says I'm so proud of you for handling this so well. And of your little sister. I strongly urge you to find your sister a therapist. Private, subsidized, maybe something connected to her school or a support group so she'll be able to talk to professional about all this. Also encourage her to talk to you about this. I also recommend you Google toxic parents PDF. It's a great book available online for free and it might help you a lot to understand yourself and your sister and to help yourself and her. Also I'd suggest you Google, no more Mr. Nice Guy PDF. Another great book available online for free. Get a free consultation with a lawyer to determine what steps you must undertake to save your little sister from her mother or being put in a foster home. Best wishes. I appear reply saying thanks, I'll look up those books. But I did get a lawyer. I had to so that I could become her legal guardian. Court papers had to be filed. There were three court hearings and then my mom had to sign off. It was a huge process where an investigator even came to my house to inspect it and interview me. The court appointed an attorney to represent my sister. A lot had to be done. I bribed my mom so I could make her car payment still so she would sign off. This was my attorney's idea. Otherwise I would have to rat on my mom for drug use to CPS and my sister would have gone to a foster home temporarily before I could get her. Then my mom could fake a recovery and take her back. There would have been too much back and forth for my sister. But even though I'm still paying legal fees to my attorney, I have to pay some court fees too. I keep a friendly relationship with my mom and give her money sometimes to keep her happy. I know she uses the money on drugs, but sometimes you have to swallow bad pills to get to where you need to. Crazy Kitty Ask a question says, you're a very awesome brother. Thank you so much for saving your sister. If I may ask, how else was she being mean to her that you didn't know about? I think it would help other people in similar situations, especially those whose kids have step-parents who don't like them. Was there anything in retrospect you could say? Yeah, I should have noticed that. OP says, I would just give one piece of advice if anybody is in my situation. Pull your sister aside every single day and ask her what all happened that day. I came home from work late sometimes and would text my girlfriend to cook something for my sister. Now I find out that my sister was hungry and she would go to the kitchen to make herself something and my ex would turn her away until her snacking was not allowed until I came home so we could eat together. Then I would come home and she would tell me that she didn't cook anything because my sister told her she wasn't hungry. She would tell me that shit right in front of my sister. My sister would keep a lot to herself because she was afraid to make waves. So you have to talk to her daily and ask her what all happened during the time you're not home. There were other things that I would rather not even type but all of it along the same lines. Now the commenter says, I know it may have taken you longer than you wished to help your sister but the point is you did. All your sister remembers is her calling you because there was trouble and you stepping in to help her. At your age, I would not have been financially or emotionally stable enough to do what you've done. I think you're an amazing person with a good head on your shoulders who obviously loves your sister very much. I'm happy to hear about your update. I'm amazed her father reacted that way because if I did what your ex did, my father would have lost all respect for me. Who knows what she's told him though. Good luck and I wish you the best. Hope he says, well, to be honest, I was not ready at all financially. I had two roommates who were still wasting my whole paycheck on drinking and partying. I saved $0. When my sister called me, it took me a while to save money to rent a house. Then I didn't have the money for the legal fees of becoming a legal guardian. So I had to finance a lot. Had a good job and was still a total mess financially when she asked me to take her with me. So overnight I had to go from wasting every dollar I made to total detailed budgeting. I never knew how to do that. Hope he also adds, there are a couple of teachers that have stepped up big already. So I have that base covered as far as girl growing up issues. Someone says, hey, OP, I know you didn't really want to broach it in either post. I'm just curious. You have custody of your sister. Are you now her legal guardian? You're doing a fucking awesome thing and being an incredible brother. I would just hate to see your mom have a change of heart and decide she wants her daughter back and you not have many legal options to stop it. I'm not versed in that kind of law or anything, but you hear horror stories about how easy it is for abusive parents to get their kids back sometimes. And I would hate for both you and your sister's sakes for it to end up like that. Opus says, yeah, I just commented somewhere here about the process and the court hearings and even bribing my mom to sign off on it. But I am her legal guardian. A lot led up to this and a lot has happened, but I'd have to type 10 pages to tell it all. So I left out a lot. And one more question to OP that says, maybe I've watched too many TV dramas, but what do you mean by bribing your mom to sign over custody? Couldn't she just say she was bribed and create a legal mess if she ever decided to take your sister back? OP says she could, that would get her in the most trouble. I did everything I did with legal advice of an attorney. My mom doesn't want my sister back, so I don't know why she would go back on her word now. She likes her freedom to live with her boyfriend with no responsibility. She's happy as long as I give her 20 bucks here and there, whenever she calls, which is not often. I don't think I have anything to worry about there. She might be lying to me, but my mom is happy that my sister is doing better with me. And OP is just an awesome brother in this situation. He was being hard on himself in certain parts though about not stepping up sooner, but at his age, you can't really blame him, can you? And who knows what stuff he's internalized and what he's seen from his mom at the same time. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Let's move on to another story. Now, this next story appeared in a Ask Reddit thread. It was, what is the nicest thing you've ever done that no one knows about? The user was war-toed. There's a couple of little warnings on it of teen pregnancy and struggles with poverty, but the user said, I was day tripping to Vancouver from Seattle and stopped for lunch at a little cafe. From my window, I saw a young teenage girl out in the cold, squatted down in a closed up businesses doorway, holding a small bundle in her arms. She was panhandling, people mostly walking by ignoring her. She looked just broken. I finished up my meal and went outside, went through my wallet and thought, I'd give her $5 for some food. I got up to her and she was sobbing. She looked like she was 14 or 15. And that bundle in her arms was a baby wrapped up. I felt like I just got punched in the chest. She looked up, putting on a game face and asked for any change. I asked her if she'd like some lunch. Right next door was a small, quick trip type grocery store. I got a kind of formula for the baby, very young, maybe two to three months old, and took her back to the cafe, though I'd just eaten. She was very thankful, got a burger and just inhaled it. Got her some pie and ice cream. She opened up and we talked. She was 15, got pregnant, parents were angry, and she was fighting with them. She ran away and she's been gone almost one full year. I asked her if she'd like to go home and she got silent. I coaxed her, she said her parents wouldn't want her back. I coaxed further. She admitted she stole 5K in cash from her dad. Turns out 5K doesn't last long at all and the streets are tough on a 15 year old, very tough. She did want to go back, but she was afraid no one wanted her back after what she did. We talked more. I wanted her to use my phone to call home, but she wouldn't. I told her I'd call and see if her folks wanted to talk to her. She hesitated and gave bad excuses, but eventually agreed. She dialed the number and I took the phone. Her mom picked up and I said hello. Awkwardly introduced myself and said, her daughter would like to speak to her. I said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was silent and I heard crying. Gave the phone to the girl and she was just quiet listening to her mom cry and then said hello and she cried. They talked and she gave the phone back to me. I talked to her mom some more. I drove her down to the bus station and bought her a bus ticket home, gave her $100 cash for incidentals and some formula diapers, wipes and snacks for the road. Got to the bus and she just cried saying thank you, over and over. Kissed her baby and she got on the bus. I get a Christmas card every year from her. She's 21 now and in college. Her name is Makayla and her baby was Joe. I never really told anyone about this. I just feel good knowing I did something good in this world. Maybe it a makeup for the things I fucked up. Two months later, OP added a mini update and said, I had no idea this would take off like wildfire. It was years ago. I'd never really talked about it. It was just kind of special to me. I really hadn't thought about it much since then and was remembering more than anything. I jotted it down in a thread and got slammed with envelopes, hundreds and hundreds of messages and private messages. OP added another update and says, and after the fact follow up. I got Makayla's Christmas card this year and gave her a call. She's doing great in school. Another couple of years left since she started late and works part-time too. A bank teller. Joe is a lean, mean, advanced reading machine, reading books three to four years above his age, seven now, and he draws Wolverine comics. He's Canadian, you know that. Favorite hero ever. He wants to grow up to be a comic bookmaker and pizzas. Keep the dream, Joe. Keep the dream. Her mom and dad would like to come visit me and my little girl. I've never met them, but her dad sends me bottles of homemade whiskey, which actually is surprisingly good, which has led to an interesting quandary. Anonosi, I told Reddit, I've never told anyone in the real world. I didn't tell anyone when I came home, I just sat on it. Then a day or two went by. How would you bring it up now? Oh, by the way, last weekend, then a week, a month, by the end, I was just comfortable with this as a private memory. Now here I am with her new wife and family, whom I've never told. It's just something I hold as my own. And now Micaela's parents want to visit. How do I just throw out? Hey, sweetie, I know this is something I should have told you years ago, but I don't know. Life moves in mysterious ways. Bloody hell, that one took a while to get through, just from wiping my tears from my face. His bloody onion ninjas. It would have been really interesting to get the story after he told his wife how amazing he was in that moment to see her reaction because someone told me that, I just want to give him a hug. I think that's a lovely spot to end this video on. But what do you guys make of this situation? What's the nicest thing you've done for someone? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And just a huge thank you for being here, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. Thank you so, so much and I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love. MUSIC It's the King of Cork City! I'm BBC eye player. There's only one way to get rich ruined here. Yes, play a leak. 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