I Make Good Money… So Why Do I Still Feel Broke? | Bougie Budgeting for High-Earning Women with the Budget Besties

Woo. Here's a hot take on this week's episode. We've also had people that are bringing in 50,000 a month and none of it is going into savings buckets when we first started working with them because they were spending it all and they had no idea how high their expenses were and not that they didn't, they didn't want them to be right. So it was really just about putting it on paper and being able to see what's going on and make the decision to say, or ask the questions, what is happening and what do I want to have happen? And then we make their budget accordingly. Set the pace, watch me steal the show. Higher ground, yeah, I'm rising fast. This is my moment, it's built to last. Keep the focus, keep the drive. No slow motion, I'm alive. Power surging, key tonight. I'm a sufferer they are best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches. They believe budgeting doesn't have to feel restrictive, boring, or punitive. They help women who are entrepreneurs, leaders, and high achievers set up an automatic money system that supports their real life goals and big dreams so they can be bougie on a budget. We all want to do that, right? If you can start saving automatically and spending intentionally and building wealth without giving up the travel, the fancy dinners, and the designer vibes, then you are going to love this conversation. So before we get into all your amazing money philosophies and saving systems, how did you two meet and become the budget besties? oh well that's a um that's a little bit of a question yeah it's a little bit of a long story but not really because what is really funny about that is our boys we met when they were in vbk which is like right before kindergarten right uh and they were four and now they're 17 wow okay and um and you know we've been friends for a long time we did start um started teaching Financial Peace University with Dave Ramsey for a while. And that's kind of what led us to what we're doing now as the budget besties. So we always had the besties. We just added the budget later. What we realized when we were teaching those courses was that the biggest part missing was how to do a budget. I mean, there was a part in the course where they told you, go home and do a budget. And then the next day you came back and did a completely different topic. And so we just felt like it was a missing piece of the puzzle. And so we really wanted to dive in and help people build a budget that they were excited about. But then also we realized in the midst of coaching, people don't want to live on beans and rice. They don't want to be gazelle intense. They don't want to just only focus on paying off debt. We wanted them to be boujee on a budget and build a budget that they're excited about that allows them to go on vacation and pay off debt, to save for Christmas and pay off debt. Yeah, yeah. I mean, essentially no one ever taught you how to budget. No one ever taught them how to budget. And that's where, like Vanessa said, we found that missing, that was a missing link. people can tell you you need to do this need to do this and do this but nobody was telling them how to budget which is like the first step for investing and building wealth and all these fun things or paying off debt and so that's where we kind of just decided to niche in and go all in on that i love that i had a friend that was doing the dave ramsey program and god bless this program i know it's helped a lot of people become debt free but she seemed like almost uh spending anorexic Like she literally couldn't go out to dinner. She couldn't go on vacation. She was having a garage sale every weekend to like liquidate every piece of clothing that she wasn't wearing once a week. Like it was rigorous. And I was like, I'm not attracted to that. Like I'm not a minimalist. I'm a maximalist. I like having stuff. So I like your spin on it using his principles, but also making it more feminine because I think it is more feminine to want to have beautiful, luxurious stuff around and not live like a monk. So I'm excited to learn your take on it. So I know you mentioned the B word in our introduction. Why is there so much shame and heaviness and just resistance to budgeting? good yeah well i think it's kind of like what you said everybody equates the word budget with no you know and that's why we call it the b word it's it's this negative this word that has negative connotations and some of it comes from some of those exactly the practices that you're talking about when i think i'm on a budget then apparently i have to give everything up i have to go i love the anorexic it's like do you not can you see that you're going a little too far you can't see that okay okay okay and so um so we we but when we say bougie on a budget vanessa will tell you It means something different to everyone, but, but you can be bougie. You can, it doesn't matter what income level you are. You want to have a budget that supplies all of your fun, maximalism, bougie-ness, right? Either if you, if you had a lot of money or a little money, you still want to be on a budget and it can be very freeing. It can be a good word, but we just have to show you. Yeah. There's a lot of, uh, the word budget is very taboo in, in relationships and husbands and wives that don't speak about it. They don't talk about it. They don't deal with it when they, when it does become a conversation, they're fighting about it because again, nobody's taught them how to have healthy conversations about money, about building a budget. And we have even had people say, you know, we work with people who make good money, but have nothing to show for it. So we're not, we're not about you being broke. We don't want you to be broke and say, Oh, only broke people have budgets. No, everybody needs a budget because, and it's more fun when there's a lot of an abundance of money because we can do so much with it. And the way that we have our system set up, our clients say, I can do so much. Like there is so much that can happen, whether you bring in $8,000, where you, whether you bring in 15,000 or 20,000, it can all be doing and working in your favor, but you want to create a budget that makes you happy and that you're excited about. So what are the main areas of a good budget? Like what are the headers? Yeah. So it's funny that you say that the other reason people don't like budgets, um, is because they look scary and they're not fun. They're complicated. And they look like, Ooh, that's going to take a long time. So we created our own budget that is five columns, very simple, very pretty, very easy, you know, simple, all in one page. We figured if it was all on one page, it can't be that scary. And all of the columns really match what you already know about. There's no gross words like fixed and variable or needs and wants. Like nobody knows what that actually means when you, what do I do with my hands? Yeah. I want to go back to the whole, like what budget, what the budget templates that you see online. Okay. So we originally tried to go partner with somebody on Etsy or somewhere who, somebody who already made a budget and we thought, okay, we're just going to see if we can use their budget for our business. Girl, we couldn't find one. They were all about tracking every single expense that you made throughout the month. Like she said, fixed and variable expenses. And then do they go here? There are static bills, non-static bills. Like what is that? Why? We don't need any of that. And all of that translates into doing nothing because you don't know where anything goes. You have words and numbers on paper and you call it a budget, but then what? So we have implemented an entire budget system. And then like Shana said, our budget is five columns, income, minimum debt payments, your bill. I'm writing this down. Income, minimum debt, your bills, your spending, and your savings. It matches how you spend on income, minimum debt, payments, like credit card bills, bills, spending, and savings. And that's it. And you know what all of those are automatically. You don't, you know, you don't, you're not questioning, okay, is this a fixed or variable bill? Like nobody or hard or soft, like there's, you know what they are. And so you can easily make a budget, but here's the deal there. The spending and the saving, those are kind of where people get a little tripped up and we can get deeper into that. But what, what this has done is taken, a lot of people don't even in the first column income, they don't even know how much they make in a whole month. And it's kind of eyeopening to see that the same thing with their debt that when they go do that, they're like, Oh, so, so part of the reason I can't go shopping. as much as I want. It's because I'm paying $3,000 on debt every month. Didn't think about it that way, you know, or then the same with the bills. A lot of times people will, will do a little, a little search and they're like, Oh, okay. So I'm paying for three different music subscriptions. Perhaps I don't need to do that. Right. And it's just about putting it all on one page, kind of gathering your data, like getting organized. That's, we say all the time, people think they have a math problem or they don't know they're, they have an overspending problem. It's really just a disorganization problem. If we can get organized, then we can solve almost all of your problems. And all of that is drama in your head, right? So we like to say, like, take the drama out of it. It's just data, write the numbers on, write the numbers down, so you can get them out of there and you can see what's going on. Then you can organize it. So it's simplified by being on the budget. And then it's organized by being in the different categories. And like that, that is where magic starts to happen in your budget. Why do you think women get so emotional about money and they're resistant to even wanting to look at how much they spend and how much they make. And they'd rather just be like the ostrich with the head in the sand than even know what it is. That is exactly our analogy of women being that ostrich in the sand. We want you to be a tall giraffe so you know what's going on. Why do we think there's a lot of shame? I think it's because they've never been taught. Well, there's probably a lot of reasons, but one of the things that we know is that they've never been taught and maybe they've never had a healthy conversation or had to been able to have healthy money conversations. Yeah. We see a lot, a lot of the time there's, there's somebody in the, like in a relationship, if there's a, if there's a relationship, there's, there's a misbalance, right? One, either the woman is carrying the entire burden and trying not to tell her husband what's really happening. And she's just kind of, like you said, just, well, making it work. Yeah. I'm just making it work, which usually means more using credit cards or it's the other way around. And there's, because there's some money baggage, maybe from childhood or whatever that she has nothing to do with it. And she's keeping it that way on purpose. But it also adds in that taboo version. If I look at this budget thing, I'm scared. What am I going to find? What am I going to actually get the numbers on paper? But what we have found is it's usually, it's way scarier in your head, this thought that you have of what it's going to look like than what it actually is. It's almost never as bad as you think. And in fact, when we get it all on one paper with you, you're like, oh, so I should have $1,000 left every month? Yeah. Almost every single time when we sit down with somebody and make their budget, and they're like, I had no idea that it was this good. Because they thought in the brain that it was so much worse because they were writing cells in their brain. They made it like an 800-pound gorilla. And you're like, no, it's actually a kitten. Yeah, so nicely. And the other part of it is it's, as Vanessa said, nobody taught you, and it's so complicated. So we teach you, according to the budget that we talked about that you would set up, we teach you to have separate accounts because one reason that I don't want to go, like it's like why you don't want to do your taxes. You're like, I know I'm going to have to go through the whole year and figure this out and file and sort and gross. And that's what's happening when you have one account with all of your transactions. You don't really know what's going on there. You know, it's very complicated and you're like, I don't know. So what we try to do is help you separate things so it can be very easy and clear to see what's going on with your money. And it's like micro decisions instead of this whole turmoil of trying to figure out what's going on in one account. So, and when we're saying it's complicated, that's another reason women don't want to look at it because it's not like, what, 30 years ago, you didn't have subscriptions. You had one cable bill, if you had a cable bill, not like 13 different streamings. You didn't have all of these different bills that we have now, which makes it, and then you have Apple Pay, you have Venmo, you have so much going on that it is complicated. So we simplify it. We want to simplify it and separate it for you so that it's so easy. You can see all at a glance and feel really confident about it. Yeah, so you probably opened up a bank account when you got your first job and you have one checking and one savings. Congratulations. You did great back then. But like Shana said, there's so much more going on nowadays. And so we take Dave Ramsey's cash envelope system that he does and he tells you to get a home envelope and utilities and all this different, you know, all the different, the way that grandma used to save money under her mattress a long time ago. we have turned that into a digital envelope system where we want you, we're in 21st Aerial, everybody uses a debit card, everyone. Sometimes, some places don't even allow you to use cash anymore. Airports don't let you, big events don't let you. Now, no longer as of, you know, right. So, you know, it's just, we're using the tools that we have, the advantages of all that. I mean, just creating separate accounts to organize our money. So how many accounts do you think people need? It really depends on your budget. So when we, yeah, when we look at the spending, so what people have been doing is there's there, everything's coming out of that one account, whether they, so they, when they go to target or, or wherever you go, get your maximized life, um, whenever you go, you, you have to look in your account and be like, okay, the mortgage passed. And I also paid the credit card bill. And then also I got, I got groceries. Do I have enough money for groceries? Okay. Now I can buy the purse. Like, no, no, no, no. We don't want that for you. So we separate, we take them, we, we keep you, give you a bills account where all your bills are paid separate. So you don't ever have to look at that. And then you have a spending account where you can be like, this is my money for spending. And then, so then we definitely want you to have a spending account. And, um, and then we want you to have gas and groceries. Those are the minimum ones that we want you to have. And money goes into those. And so you always know you have money for gas and groceries You always know you have money to spend Yeah I mean imagine being able to know that you have income coming in Your bills are all being taken care of in one account and then your spending is getting transferred out and it not mixed in with any of that other stuff. And you know exactly how much you have for gas and groceries for like the important things of the house, household stuff. And you know exactly how much you have for you to be able to go and spend money and feel good about it, knowing it's not mixed up with anything else. Yeah. And so then the other column that we talked about, the last one is savings. And this is where people get really tripped up in their budget because these are unexpected expenses. But it's weird how Christmas comes every year. It's weird how your insurance will... Your child's birthday is the same every year. So we like really, according to your life, we want you to have separate savings accounts for separate savings goals. And that helps you because if you have one savings account that just has a lump sum and you don't know what it's for, you don't know really when you use it, you're much more likely to steal from it when you don't really, when you really shouldn't. And instead, if you know you have money set aside for all these big things that are important to you, then, and you know exactly how much you have aside that you can rename the accounts. Like it's, it is like Vanessa said, it is a cat. It's like it's cash envelope, but it's digital. And it's so clear in your mind where, where your money's going, what your money's doing, how much you have for everything. We have a lot of clients that tell us, listen, I put $300 a month or every paycheck in the, in a savings account. And we say, okay, well, how long into the month until you pull it out? And they're like, well, probably like a couple of weeks because it has no name. It's not designated for something specific. So if you can have different accounts with different names and say, this is for my vehicle maintenance fund. This is for Christmas. This I know is for the kitchen remodel that I'm working towards or the new car that I want. When you can do that and rename them, because that's the best part that your bank allows you to do, you know, very specifically what those things are for. You're less likely, like Shana said, to pull from them because now that money is tied to a thing, right? And so now your money is totally organized. You have it simplified on one budget sheet, five different columns. You have it separate and organized right now. And your spending is organized into different accounts. Your saving is organized in different accounts. So that's kind of the stepping. So we have simplify, we have separate. And our last one that we'll talk about is automate. All right. Well, we're going to talk about automate right after this commercial break. We are listening to the Budget Besties, and they are taking the fear and anxiety out of the B word and telling us how to get our finances organized and manageable in 2026. Thanks for watching the Balanced, Beautiful, and Abundant podcast. We'll be right back. One thing I know for sure is this. As women, especially over 35, our bodies are wise, powerful and different. And the generic health advice out there, it often wasn't made for us. That's why I love the podcast hosted by Holly Perkins, a world-renowned women's health and nutrition expert with over 30 years of experience helping women feel strong, energized, and empowered in their bodies. Her work is science-backed, women-specific, and rooted in honoring your own physiology. So you're not fighting your body, you're partnering with it. 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We're with the budget besties and you were saying there were three steps to making our finances manageable. What were the three steps? I know the third one was automate. Yeah, so it's simplify, separate and automate. Right. And, um, and I was thinking with your, with your intro, Rebecca is like going from burnout to balance, beautiful and abundant. That's exactly what we want to do with your money. You're going from burned out from ignoring from burned out on like, I don't know if I have money. I'm using credit cards. I'm not sure to you. Everything's figured out. You've got it all accounted for and you can just live your bougie life. Like, like we said, so automate third step. It's the best step. I think it's exciting because you're going to make your bank, your personal assistant. Yeah. Can you imagine just being able to wake up and all your money is where it's supposed to be and you didn't have to do anything because you took the time to set it up. Maybe like it took you 30 minutes a couple of days before, like that's the goal. Yeah. And so the idea is your, your money doesn't have to feel like a rollercoaster, which is where a lot of people are at. They're either completely ignoring it or they feel like feast or famine up and down. I don't know what's happening. It's, it's, it's, it's different every month. We have set up this budget system where you've simplified it. We told you the five columns, you separate accounts, very important. And then here with, um, with you set with you, um, using the automation, it can be very steady. Your bank can do all of the budgeting for you. So amazing. Yeah. So how does the bank do the budgeting for you? So your, your bank has wonderful features called transfer screen. And what it allows you to do is set up a plan. Once you make your budget, it's going to tell you your numbers and you're going to know, okay, I'm going to budget. I budget $2,000 a month for groceries. That's just what we do. And I know I actually want to get half of that on the first and half of that on the 15th. So you can set up transfers to say in my grocery account, I want $1,000 transferred on the first and $1,000 transferred on the 15th based on my pay cycle. And that happens. You can set it up reoccurring to happen automatically every first and 15th and you don't have to do anything except be in that, that grocery, that gas and groceries account. And you can spend your money because the balance in that account now becomes your mini budget for that category. And there is no tracking. So this whole tracking era that everybody is in, like most budgets, like we said, they're all tracking every single expense. We are not about that. We were trying to release you from feeling like you have to track all these different kinds of expenses. And so while you having a separate account with money being in there, automatically you're free to spend. I don't want to track anything. I don't want to track macros or budgets. I mean, it's restrictive. It makes you feel like you're in some kind of a jail. So I love your system because it feels expansive and restrictive. well let's take it to the next level here okay when you're talking about macros it what it brought to mind is you know on january 1st not that long ago you you're like okay i'm gonna get in such good shape this year because you set your new year's goals whatever and you're like okay i have to go to the gym on january 1st i also have to go to the gym on january 2nd and then i should probably go on january 3rd then i'm supposed to go on january 4th january 5th gross look at all of that you have to actually do stuff our automation takes away the need for willpower so what what like Vanessa said you set your budget up which is income we didn't specifically say but income minus debts minus your bills minus your spending and then whatever's left you're able to allot to all your savings goals then you're equal to zero but um you're doing it on purpose so that you can do all the fun things you have spending you have permission to spend all that right well if you set that up using separate accounts and then the automatic transfers right all the money comes in your bills and then every once in a while like Vanessa said you get certain transfers to different accounts, you basically had to go to the gym January 1st. And then your budget is, your bank is going to the gym for you every day after. You don't have to do anything except like Vanessa said, just spend the money that you allotted and don't spend more. And that's it. And remember that amount is how much you said. Nobody's telling you no, nobody's restricting you. You can have as much money as you want to spend, but it's in there and that's all you, all you have to do is spend money. I think the biggest part of this too, is being able to automatically save for, like we talked about before, those unexpected expenses. So not only are you automating your spending throughout the month, right? You know exactly how much you're going to be able to spend. And again, we're not setting restrictions of the amounts of money that we're saying you need to have. Every single one of our budgets is different on purpose because it's everyone's bougie life and how they want to spend their money accordingly. But you're also saving for the future automatically. So you're saving for Christmas automatically. You're saving for your daughter's wedding automatically. You're saving for that future car. You're saving for your medical bills and your annual bills. that HOA, that $800 HOA bill that's due every single year. You're automatically putting the money aside to save for that on purpose. It's not going into just one big emergency fund or savings account that you pick from here and there. Now, how many bank accounts do you guys have? And are they all with the same bank? Having it with one bank is where you want to be. Having it at multiple banks is going to be kind of chaotic, except if you want to have your emergency fund separate, like at a high yield savings account somewhere. I think that's the best thing. I have a lot of accounts. It's kind of like, it's a fun little challenge. But yes, mine are at the same bank and I think all of hers are, most of them are. Yeah, so really you're gonna have, you know, three or four checking accounts. So I'll tell you what we have. We have a bills account. It does all the bills paying, right? So again, the bank is your personal assistant. It's paying your bills for you, okay? We have a, I have a spending account. My husband has a spending account. Vanessa has a spending account. Her husband has a spending account, right? Everybody gets their own spending money in their own account. We're not, we're not sharing. We're just saying, Hey, you know what? As a couple, we're each going to get this much money. Um, and we can just do whatever. Okay. It's your no judgment spending have fun account. Yeah. And then we have a gas and groceries account again. Okay. Everybody's going to have that. Everybody needs to eat. Um, and so then from there, it kind of can get as calm as like, you can get as many as you want. The other popular ones that people would have would be a restaurants, like entertainment, family fun. It's like kind of depends. Like going out to the movies, getting ice cream with the kids, things like that. Yeah. And then the other one that I have is for the kids. So, and that kind of changes the age they are. Like maybe they get their own checking account eventually. But what we figured, what I figured out for sure is like, oh, I don't have any money because my kids still at all. That's what really is happening. And that's what a lot of people find is like, it's not you. It's just that you don't have these things accounted for in your budget. And so we might put, you know, depending on your, how old they are, whatever. or maybe you put a hundred bucks in the kids account or 200. And that way when they're like, Hey, my shoes, I don't have any, or like last minute, or they're like this field trip is tomorrow, or I want to go get ice cream with my friends. I have a designated amount for them. And then I don't have to like, I don't have to, you know, whatever, reconcile with something else because it's already there. So those are the main checking accounts. And then the same thing is going to be true for the savings. Yeah. So the first savings, it depends on what you want. We We have Christmas medical annual bills is kind of a non-negotiable because those are happening regardless. Right. Let's see if you have a pets, we have some pets funds that are named like the name of the pet. Right. So there's just fun ways you can do this. We have kids sports. You know, we have vacations. We have there's a bunch of different ones that you can add. And it's really just based on your preference. Home, home repairs, vehicle maintenance, things like that. The things that you absolutely know, like, you know, you're getting oil changes. You know that you're going to buy presents for Christmas. you know that you're going to get your hair done we have a glam up one which is huge it's a big hit with our clients let's get let's budget in the hair the nails the eyebrows like pedicures like let's do all that how much do you spend on a year like let's put all that in there so that way you can feel good when the time comes that you want to spend money on those things and you don't have to pull from your monthly budget to pay for it and fund it because it already you been funding it in your budget in your budget consistently Well and like unexpected expenses are are actually expected But the other part with the glam up as you know is um well maybe you don know Maybe you just woke up like that I don't know. You look gorgeous. Thank you. There's a lot going on here. There's a glam squad. Exactly. We, I know, I know, but nobody, nobody could tell. It's fine. So my point is like, those are so periodic like it's not like it's one it's a hundred dollars every month exactly no it's like every six weeks every three weeks every so that's why we want those are the kind of things that are complicated in your budget that we want to make it simple we're just gonna we we teach you with our budget system how to figure out in a year and just set aside a monthly amount like Vanessa said every time you go to the spa or the salon or whatever you have money there you don't have to think about it in the moment you don't be like wait can I afford to go can I afford to tip how much can I you know like we just want to take all of that off of your plate again your bank is your personal assistant. It's exciting times. Yeah. I mean, imagine sitting down and going, okay, this is how much I usually spend on these categories in a year. And like you've done the work takes you maybe 30 minutes and you put it in, put it down, put it in your budget. You set it up, set up all the automatic transfers. And then, and then from that point on, all you have to do is spend money. Yeah. That's amazing. Now you're saying multiple checking and multiple savings accounts. How many savings accounts do you, most of your clients have? Yeah. I think it just depends on the, what they want, but like we, like we were saying is Christmas is a big one. Annual bills, saving for a home repair things that you, that you may have, um, vehicle maintenance. Kids. Yeah. Kids, pets, medical things like just all the things. So everything in your budget and your spending column happens every month. So, you know, in your spending column, these are the things that we always non-negotiable spend money on in the savings section of your budget. Those are all the one-off expenses that may happen here and there throughout the year. And what we're trying to do is go, okay, how much do I spend on this in a year? Let's put it in a budget on a monthly basis and consistently be able to fund them. So that way, when it happens, I have the cash. And this is why your budget can stop feeling like a rollercoaster because like Vanessa said, oh, I have the HOA and my insurance, the six month premiums do this month. Oh my gosh, we're not, we're no spend month all of a sudden because I just have all of these bills. We want to make super steady. So no matter what, you're sending the same amounts of savings, you're sending the same amounts of spending, you're paying basically the same amount of bills every month, right? So you're just like this. You're just like nice and steady. It's amazing. What about unexpected expenses? Like for example, this happened to me in Christmas. I own three rental properties and they all three have plumbing emergencies. Yeah. So if you have a business, and again, this is if you don't have a business, but in a situation like that, we would actually set up a whole different budget and a whole emergency fund for each property that you have. So every single property has its own emergency fund. So that way you can fund it with whatever happened with that emergency. Yeah, that makes sense because they're even like a vehicle, like you could blow your tire out or your engine could get out. So you have a fund for your vehicle emergency or how would that work? Yeah, because you're so smart. You're like next level because what you mentioned is actually an unexpected expense. what most people consider an unexpected expense is actually expected like if i need to get oil changes if i need to normal yeah people know a lot for that right so in your instance what you're what we know is we would we do have an emergency fund because there are actual emergencies unexpected in life yeah so what you do is in that moment you would just you would borrow borrow the money from yourself because you're your own bank you don't need to use a credit card you don't need to use and then next the next month in your budget you would you could pay back your emergency fund right? You can just pay it back. Usually, I mean, honestly, you know what? This is a, this is a mind blowing thing. How often with our clients do we ever have emergency funds being used? We don't. Yeah. Unless like a fridge goes out or like you said, a tire blows. But the thing is, as we build the funds, those savings buckets for those categories, our clients now realize that 90% of my unexpected expenses that happen throughout the year are expected. And I pull from my savings buckets to pay for it. And the only true emergencies that I have are things like you guys mentioned. Acts of God. Right, right, Acts of God. That is the only time I ever actually touched my true emergency fund. I had a few Acts of God last year. Like we bought our dream house and it's an old house built in 1898 and it's gorgeous. And I thought it had a ghost because every night we would hear like rattling and scratching. Oh no. And it was a squirrel that was trapped in the wall. So it's like stuff like that happens, right? Sometimes like you have like a home expense that's unexpected and you just, you never know. And I know. So for that. It's empowering if you don't have your finances organized. It's like, oh, I wasn't expecting this, you know? Yeah. It's super scary. And so it can feel very scary. we have people that um would save first they might save if they have like a project house which maybe it's not if it's from 1898 maybe it was already fixed up but there was so in their home expense this is just very specific but in your home um a lot of times the home account is for repairs and maintenance but we also have projects so even like uh we had a mailbox repair we had a client that was in very cold so they couldn't actually repair the mailbox when it needed to be because it was frozen into the ground. So anyway, they, we just, he put money in his savings bucket for that eventually to be able to repair it. Um, we have an, I had another client that knew that their fridge, like it was making noises. So like, this is probably going to happen. So we started setting aside money in their household to be able to replace the refrigerator eventually. So some of these things you can sort of figure out there are definite emergencies. Vanessa one year had a fun time where she personally funded the emergency room doctors. Like her personal life budget was to pay them. My daughter ended up in the ER multiple times that year. And so, but thank you. I appreciate that. She's alive. She just had like anything that went wrong. She's so clumsy, went wrong. And poor thing is, but anyways, being able to save for that and saying, okay, I'm constantly putting money in my medical fund. So I can always take care of it. And that was, it's, it's being able to be present in the moments that you want to be present in and knowing that finances are not a burden. They're not an issue in that time because you're prepared. What I'm hearing you guys teach, and we're going to cut to a commercial in a second, is empowerment, confidence, women feeling like their finances are manageable and stuff is going to happen. You know, that's life. I feel like sometimes life is a roller coaster, but if you have your finances organized, it helps you have the right mindset to not feel overwhelmed, to be balanced, beautiful, and abundant. And on that note, we're going to cut to a quick commercial break. Thank you everyone for watching the balanced, beautiful, and abundant podcast. One thing I know for sure is this, as women, especially over 35, our bodies are wise, powerful, and different. And the generic health advice out there, it often wasn't made for us. That's why I love the podcast hosted by Holly Perkins, a world-renowned women's health and nutrition expert with over 30 years of experience helping women feel strong, energized, and empowered in their bodies. Her work is science backed, women specific, and rooted in honoring your own physiology. So you're not fighting your body, you're partnering with it. Each episode gives you practical tools to improve your body composition, regulate blood sugar, reduce inflammation, and truly support your long-term vitality. For next level wellness, check out the Holly Perkins Health Podcast. Okay. Can I be real for a second? You're out there crushing it in some areas of your life, but in others, it's like a hot mess express. Sound familiar? Here's the thing. You're not just meant to survive. You're meant to thrive. And that's exactly what I help my clients do in my coaching program. Together, we'll tackle all seven pillars of abundance because who wants killer abs but a dumpster fire of a bank account or a thriving career but zero in the romance department? Yeah, no thanks. I'm inviting you to schedule a breakthrough call with me. No pressure, no awkward sales pitch, just you, me, and a chance to figure out why you're stuck and how to get unstuck. So stop doom scrolling and start doing something about it. Click the link in the show notes and let's start giving you your best, most bougie life. You in? Are you ready to reset, realign, and rise into your best year ever, join me January 23rd through 26th at the beautiful Amara Resort and Spa in stunning high vibe Sedona, Arizona. We'll set powerful intentions, create customized affirmations, and design vision boards using my seven pillars of abundance framework so that you can make 2026 your most aligned and abundant year ever. You'll enjoy deep connection, breathtaking views, and total relaxation at the newly renovated Amara Resort, complete with a luxurious spa, fitness center, and zero edge infinity pool. Spots are limited, so head to the show notes or message me directly on Instagram at Rebecca E. Whitman to learn more and claim your spot today. All right, we are back with the Balanced, Beautiful and Abundant podcast going from burned out to Balanced, Beautiful and Abundant today with the Budget Besties. Many high earners listen to the show. They're high achieving midlife women. They still feel like they're living month to month, paycheck to paycheck, even though they're making a ton of money. why is it that high achievers and high earners still feel broke well it kind of goes back to that one account I don't really know what's going on and a lot of times it's like we said it's broke because I have this insurance payment and my HOA and I had the squirrel in the walls and I had everything happen this month and I had no plan or no know how to pay for it. And so I feel, even though I, I, I mean, I can afford these things. I just, it feels that way. And so they feel that way because they're not, they're not able. It's like, it's kind of like, um, we hear all the time. I don't know where my money is going. Well, if you set this budget up, you will know exactly where your money is going. You will, you will be able to see all the amazing things that you're affording with your budget and how you're not broke. And it's all going all the right places. And it's so good. And not in a restrictive way. Like you'll know where all your money is going, but like, again, not like, Oh, I can't do that. Or I shouldn't do this. Or or I'm so sad that no, there was none of that. It's I'm excited to see what all my money can do for me for the month. And we've had people that are making $8,000 a month and only paying maybe $1,000 a month in minimum debt payments. And they're saving maybe $1,000 a month as well into all their savings buckets. We've also had people that are bringing in $50,000 a month and none of it is going into savings buckets when we first started working with them because they were spending it all and they had no idea how high their expenses were. And not that they didn't want them to be, right? So it was really just about putting it on paper and being able to see what's going on and make the decision to say or ask the questions, what is happening? And what do I want to have happen? And then we make their budget accordingly. Well, and when you say abundant real quick, Rebecca, what I want to tell your listener is I wonder if they are stuck in a different... So you have upgraded your income. Congratulations. You've upgraded your life, right? We're all at that point. We're not in our 20s anymore. Have you upgraded your mindset to go with it? Because what you might be doing is spending all of your money because that's what you've always known. You've always... That's what I want to talk about now because I feel like whether it's with your weight or with your money, we have an energetic set point where we just feel comfortable at a certain weight. So if we go on a diet, we'll lose 20 pounds, but eventually we'll gain them and go back to our energetic weight set point. I feel the same as with money. And honestly, I feel like that happened to me. in December, I had my best financial month ever. I made 30,000. And then I had these three rental properties. They all had a plump year emergency. Like it was gone. Poof. Because I feel like I had a set point, a financial set point that was not allowing me to go up a level in my finance. So can you speak into that? Oh, yes. Well, I'll say is we always tell people like the second you decide to get your finances in order, something's going to happen. So just be aware of that. And so for you, it was, you made 30,000, you were so excited and God was like, okay, but you made that because now you have to pay the plumbers to fix your rental properties, right? Because something seems to happen all the time. However, if you can get over that hurdle, girl, we know that it's, it's going to continue to bless you once you get everything organized and up and running. Well, and so because, you know, we're, we're operating on, like, I can't, I can't tell you the amount of people that come to us and women, not people, women who say I'm bad with money. I don't, I'm bad. I'm not good at math, whatever. So over it. Like let's put that, that is so 2008. You don't need to be good at math now with like iPhones and yeah, precisely. And our budget system does all the math for you. Hello. Like that's important. That's very important. But that, but we want you to just we want you to step into a new identity which you know we not very woo We not very good at that We very practical We nerds We talking about budgets Okay So but join us here with you are the kind of woman that takes ownership of our finances And we see it over and over, Rebecca, when people do that, they get this whole different kind of feeling like, oh, okay, I can do this. I am watching this. I am controlling this. I am telling my money where to go, people naturally stop spending, overspending or whatever, because they feel in control for the first time. And when you feel in control, you don't feel like you need to go binge spend. You don't feel like you need to get that number down to zero because you have, you slowly, it's a slow process, but you slowly get very comfortable having money and being in control and being in charge, not the other way around of your money being in charge of you. We've had so many people who will get on a free call with us and they're just bawling. They're crying. They're so upset and like internally frustrated about what's going on with their money because they feel so shamed. And we're like, girl, it will not be a hard fix, we promise. And just by untangling all of it that's in their head and writing it down or putting it online or however you do your budget, but you're able to take all those wrecking balls out and realize it's not that bad of a math problem. It's actually just a plus B plus C equals D, right? It's not that hard, but they've been, you know, I think, okay, let's equate it to working out. Sometimes when you decide to start getting healthy, you'll go, okay, I think I'm supposed to go to the gym and I think I'm supposed to count macros. And I think I have to weigh myself every day. And then I think I have to walk. And then I think I have to do this. You, you had, there's all these things that you quote unquote believe in that you tell yourself that you have to do. So then what do you do? You do nothing. Yeah. Right. So then, but what this with budgeting, with the way, especially the way that we've set it up, again, we have looked, we tried to partner with somebody. We hated all the budgets out there. It's fine. So we literally from ground zero created our own. We found a designer and it's so awesome. But once they do that, once they build a simple five column budget, they realize that they can manage it over time on their own and feel confident it in their money, but nobody showed them how. Let's talk. That's a great answer. Let's talk about the dopamine addiction because I know a lot of women are shopping online. My mom, for example, she's 82. She shops every day, no matter what, whether she has COVID, whether she's, you know, whether there's a snowstorm, like she has to get that dopamine fix. And I'm sure other women who you're shopping addicts, Amazon now, it's so easy to spend money in like one click and you get a little dopamine surge when you like check out of that cart. What do you tell your clients to help them manage their dopamine addiction to shopping? Well, we have two anecdotal, 100% scientifically proven. No, I'm just kidding. Two responses to that because we actually don't really dive into that too much. Yeah. You guys are, you're more analytical science space. Like, you know, it's more psychological, this question. I'm pretty nuts. You know, we don't have to be like, but, um, but what we have found is when women set this up, two things happen. First of all, they automatically stopped spending so much because we're watching their money. They feel like they have money. They don't feel like they they're never going to get money to spend again. That happens. But the other thing, Vanessa, we've seen over and over is adding to cart and not buying, you get the exact same dopamine hits, but you don't lose all the money. And then you go back another day or two and you actually don't necessarily want it anymore. There's actually research data on that. And it's interesting, but my husband makes fun of me. He's like, babe, there's like 900 and somethings in our cart. And I'm like, don't judge me. Okay. It's just sitting there waiting for me to find the right time or if I even want it, but no, really. But what we see is women who they will add things to their cart. Okay. And they, they think about it, like do, is this something that I really need? And if they want it, great. They have their spending account to be able to spend the money. So that's the whole point of all this is that your spending account is for you. When you didn't have a spending account. Okay. We're going to speak to you. You already have when you're doing fabulous. You're loving it. When you didn't have a spending account, you were pulling from your bank account, hoping that it was going to go through. Not really sure if you could afford it. not sure if the mortgage has gone through or this has gone through or that cleared yet, but you're like, but this is what is going on and this is what I want. So I'm just going to spend it anyways. Versus now you're the type of person that specifically has your money and you set the budget to that. Like you decided how much money you wanted to spend on yourself throughout the month and you get to put that aside and then have a good time. Well, and we've noticed, like I said, people automatically start spending. We never, we don't necessarily preach that we're, we're trying to help them just get their organization going. And then we notice over and over, they just do it naturally. And what we think is they get more excited about saving money than spending. And that sounds super adulty, super nerdy. We get it. But when you have those accounts, Rebecca, you can pull up your bank app and you're like, oh, look at this money I have in Glamath. Look at this money I have in vacation. Look at all the money I have for groceries. Like you're like, that's good fun. I like that. And that might be replacing that dopamine hit, right? To see that you're in control of your money and you're saving money and you have money. And it's like, it's a whole different feeling. And that's what we've noticed happens with them. We also had a client who told us, she came on our podcast and gave her testimony on, she said, I knew I was getting money every Thursday, every Thursday, my personal spending account was getting replenished. And she said, and I didn't have that urge to go spend money on Amazon. Like I used to, because I knew that it was always coming. Like I never thought like, Oh, I have to spend it now because I have the money in the account now. And if I don't get it now, I'm never going to be able to get it. She knew that money was always coming. And so she was like, Oh, I can wait tomorrow. I can wait till midnight and I can, I can get that thing then. So it's really, it's just a natural reaction of the whole stop spending more because they are saving more and they are more in control of what's going on with their spending. It's just, it just naturally happens that way. You know, it works for me, whether I go to like target, because when you go to target, it's really hard to spend like less than 300 or Amazon. I give myself a hundred dollars and I make it a game. I'm like, what can I actually get for a hundred dollars? And I'm not allowed to go over and that I still get my dopamine hit on Amazon or target or whatever, but it's like, it's I gamify it. It's like, I only give myself a hundred dollars to spend. I know that's restrictive. It's not really what you guys are teaching. Cause you're teaching. Well, if you knew what you had in your spending account, then you could spend more on Amazon or Target. But I just feel like there's so much temptation thrown at you all the time that that helps me. That's probably my little anorexia trick for, for my budget, but it makes me feel in control when I give myself a hundred dollars to spend. No. So like, don't put that negativity. We would just tell you to set that in your budget. Like every, I go to Target twice a month, whatever, however often we don't know when's a weekend, whatever it is. Yeah. Put a hundred dollars there and just be on purpose about it. This is not about saying no. It's not about restricting. It's about you having your money match what you want. And if you want to go to Target and you find things or you go shopping for other people or whatever, and that's what, like, we're not here to tell you no. We just want you to put it in the budget and be intentional about it. Yeah. Because if you're wanting to spend $3,000 a month, but you don't make that much to be able to spend it, then we have a problem, right? But you just wanting to spend, you know, you wanted to go to Starbucks every other day. if you can afford it, put it in the budget. Like we just want you to see your numbers. So it's not a question as to whether or not should I do this or should I not do this? My husband going to get mad or like, is this, is this taking away from bill money? Is this taking away from vacation? Like none of that. All none of those questions and that anxiety that you, that you have in your brain about it have to happen because you know exactly what's happening with your money because it's organized and separate. You guys are like closet organizers, but with money. We've heard that. You've heard that before. You know where everything is. And when you know where everything is in your closet, you just feel more manageable and in control of your life. Yes. Messy closet versus organized closet. Yes, absolutely. Exactly. So are your closets as organized as your finances? Mine is because my assistant did it. Oh, there you go. You start, she got a whole closet system. I bought a closet system. Planned it all out. I did. She did it after I got through it then she went through it and did a better job but yes to your point Vanessa's kind of a maximalist with that particular like she is always going to look fabulous and there's nothing wrong with that and so her closet is I bet it looks fabulous you're probably it's probably like a wonderland to go in there and so many clothes pick this and that out but it's all organized and it's all fine and it's according to what she wants right yeah and even even her husband has probably had this hats area and his ties he definitely wanted all his clothes organized for sure. He's not, he's a dapper. Anyway, I'm just saying like it happened regardless of whether he wanted it to or not, but it's definitely, yes, I did help. That is great. Well, we're going to end, this has been a great conversation. We're going to end it with some rapid fire and we'll just go back and forth. So let's start with Vanessa. Finish this sentence. Budgeting is really about you. Like it's about you and how you want it and how to be bougie on a budget. Love it. All right, Shana, a muddy myth that we need to release ASAP is I have a spending problem. I'm bad at math. All of that is junk. No one ever taught you and you can just need to get organized. That's it. Vanessa, most common bougie expense in my clientele is? Ooh, glam up for sure. All things, either that or kids. I was going to say kids. It's either that or kids for people, but yeah. What is the glam up expense that is most common in our clientele? Is it hair, nails, lashes? Probably hair. Hair. Hair is always there. The other ones are kind of like give or take, right? Right. Okay. Shayna, best money advice you ever received is? Oh gosh. Ooh. okay oh gosh you know Vanessa that's money advice I've ever oh my goodness that's a lot um live on less than you make oh I was just gonna say that but I thought does that go along with our vibe but it's true like we want you to you obviously need to make a budget that matches what you what you make right yeah um so yeah I think that that probably does hit it now on the head and let's see if Ramsey's philosophy all right a little bit yep but it's good So let's go back to Shana. A habit that builds wealth fastest is? I mean, our savings buckets. Hello. Love it. Well, thank you guys for being here in January. I think this is the best time of year for people to start organizing their finances into different buckets. And thank you guys for making it so simple. Where can people follow you? Where can people find you online? So they can find us anywhere on social media at mybudgetbesties. Yeah. And then we have our podcast is Financial Coaching for Women. And if you're curious about what we're saying, which you're like, I need a little more details, then you would go to budgetbesties.com forward slash start. And we have a masterclass that kind of goes a little bit more in depth of what we talked about. Or if you're like, I need exactly whatever they just said. I need that budget system that does the math for me. That's really pretty and not scary at all. Then you go to budgetbesties.com forward slash budget and you can check that out. Amazing. Well, thank you so much. You guys are amazing, Shane and Vanessa. And thank you listeners for helping spread the word. This podcast is growing like crazy. Share this episode, take a screenshot of yourself, tag the budget besties, tag me, or reshare in our stories, subscribe, send the link to a friend. So much good has happened in this episode that can help the people you care about. Thank you everyone for listening to the show where we teach you how to achieve success through aligning your life, not the hustle and grind. And until we meet again, keep your vibe high and magnetized. Bye everyone. So excited to share a review from Melissa Myers, the glow girl. She says, inspiring podcast. Rebecca has a gift for creating meaningful, empowering conversations that leave you feeling inspired and uplifted. Balanced, beautiful, abundant is like sitting down with a wise, soulful friend who truly wants you to thrive in every area of your life. I love how she blends practical advice with spiritual insights. I'm so grateful I found it. Well, Melissa, we're so grateful that you found us and we can't wait to find out how you are glowing and growing by using this podcast as a tool. And everybody who is listening and sharing, thank you so much for your support. And it's such a joy to be on this journey with you. One thing I know for sure is this, as women, especially over 35, our bodies are wise, powerful and different. And the generic health advice out there, it often wasn't made for us. That's why I love the podcast hosted by Holly Perkins, a world-renowned women's health and nutrition expert with over 30 years of experience helping women feel strong, energized, and empowered in their bodies. Her work is science-backed, women-specific, and rooted in honoring your own physiology. So you're not fighting your body, you're partnering with it. Each episode gives you practical tools to improve your body composition, regulate blood sugar, reduce inflammation, and truly support your long-term vitality. For next level wellness, check out the Holly Perkins Health Podcast.