Hello, it's LaserStories! It's the radio segment that's offering a lunch special where they'll surgically enhance your BLT sandwich into a BBLT. Hey! Brazilian bacon lettuce tomato sandwich between two meaty hands. Hey, that's right. It's all thanks to LaserStories, the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does except we've got a laser and other PB and jailbates just don't. This first LaserStory is a little bit of a surprise but a man named Farron Fullerton was arrested a couple weeks ago. He was trespassing at a hotel because he wouldn't leave after his checkout time. Ain't nobody got time for that! Checkout times are too early. I agree. Sometimes you're waiting for the plane and you, you know, yeah. Okay, take the side of the criminal right away. That's fine. For now. When the cops showed up they found Farron wearing nothing other than a prison inmate uniform. Why was he there for, why was he in there? Well upon closer examination the uniform belonged to the local county jail. Authorities looked into Farron's background and confirmed he was not an escapee from that facility. Okay, that's good. But he had been there. So apparently he somehow snuck away with it after a previous stay. I see. It's like when you go to the bowling alley and you see a lot of people and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking around and you see a lot of people walking a woman named Carrie posted a TikTok about being on the hunt for a man named Mike who her friend had fun with while out dancing. When you get those good vibes and then you're like, I should have got the number. I love that and she's wing woman and her friend. That's awesome. It's so good at finding people now. The friend didn't get Mike's info, but she felt like he could have been her soulmate. Dang, those are big feelings. Let's not put that in the TikTok video. I don't know if Mike's going to get a hold of you. Luckily, the TikToker shared a short video of Mike and added that the only other thing they knew about him was his friends kept chirping at him, chanting, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. Oh, Molly was dancing. So, well, it's unclear if he saw the video. Laura did. Laura is Mike's wife. Oh, no. How do we know it's the right? I mean, they were just dancing, right? In the comments, she said, hi, I'm Michael's wife. He's busy explaining this to our two children right now. Someone asked if she was sure this was the right guy and she said, oh, yep, that's him. The guy I said forever to over 10 years ago. But he didn't cheat. He just danced. I think it was a little bit more than just an innocent dance group. Another person also said, I'm Mike's grandmother and I'm also mad at him. That's funny, but it was probably just a joke. But either way, it sounds like Mike is in a heap of trouble. So think twice before you try to track down a mystery connection you met at a bar. Dude, whose friends are chanting on a married guy when he's dancing with a girl? That's actually not cool. He needed to have some fun after 10 years of marriage, bro. How about you give him a break? They're like, Mike's wife doesn't let him dance. Mike's wife is probably dying to go dancing. We do not want to expose people and get Mike in trouble again. Oh, that's the problem. Poor Mike. Let's go to your next laser story out of Great Ideas Incorporated. I'd never visit here. A startup called Reflect Orbital was saying that when it's dark outside, they want to be the ones to deliver something called on-demand sunlight. I saw this and this is crazy, guys. When it's dark? It does sound like science fiction, but it's real. Basically, they want to send up thousands of satellites with giant mirrors on them, and those mirrors would reflect sunlight down to Earth at night. And all you'd have to do is open up an app, drop a pin, and then sunlight will arrive at that location in 30 seconds. Oh, my God. Middle of the night, I can't find my keys. Hold on, let me just ping my location. Sunlight, there they are. I am so pissed if I'm trying to sleep. Somebody's lighting up their neighborhood. The main idea is to help solar farms keep producing energy after sunset. But there's plenty of critics. Scientists are warning the extra light could confuse animals and disrupt our sleep. Why did you think of the animals? Oh, that cow's not very happy. It only works if it's a not-cloudy night, too. That's a good point. Oh, I didn't think of that either, Brooke. And some researchers say the math ain't mathin'. They're saying it would take literally thousands and thousands of satellites just to match a fraction of daylight, and it's probably extremely expensive where you'd have to pay 10K for 30 seconds of sunlight. Oh, wow. I bother, though. You press your date and be like, yo, you want me to turn the sun on real quick? I could totally do it. You might as well just buy one of those sunrise clocks at that point. Watch this. Imagine if they turned it on too many reflections. It's too strong. Like, if you put an an on or a micro, you could hurt. Yeah, you could sunburn. Like, it could actually zap you. Let's go to your final laser story out of family 101. There's a new parenting hack on social media that promises you can stop toddler tantrums, and it's pretty simple. Okay. All you have to do is shout, Jessica? That's what she said. But what if your kid doesn't name Jessica? That's the point. They don't need to be named Jessica, and they don't need to know anybody else named Jessica. But apparently this particular name works wonders, and several parents swear by it. A family physician weighed in, and she said it's just the element of surprise of shouting a name. Really any name, unexpectedly. But TikTokers disagree. They've tried yelling Beth or Tiffany. And it didn't work. It doesn't work the same. Only Jessica. Really? And the expert says the Jessica hack works because the brain reacts differently to J names. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Interesting. Where you hear, and you're like, wait, what? A J? A Jeffrey? What's going on? Would Jose work? No. It means have the J sound. Yeah, Jose work. And so they'll stop to figure out what's happening. And if this is true, it means that the Jessica hack, it won't work forever because children will start to recognize the pattern and the brain's adapt, and the interruption loses its effect. So you might have to pivot to a different one. Like, Josephine? Yeah, or Santa Claus? Like? You've got to be J. Oh, that's right. Never mind. Anything will work on Jose, I feel like. Yeah, seriously. I do know the perfect place to try it out, though. This guy's house. Hey. Last time I was there, I swear I heard a sketch or scream. Oh, God. And it stopped me right in my tracks. Was not expecting that. Talking shoes, yes. That's how means laser stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again. Same time on Monday.
