Why Your Kids Ignore You

You say it once, you say it twice, you say it three times. The more you repeat yourself, you just look weak. I'm fed up of having to repeat requests over and over before they listen. By which time I'm frustrated and might shout. Oftentimes they're ignoring you till you yell because you might be a repeater too. So they're gonna ignore the first request. She'll ignore me completely despite repeating myself coming down to her level, coaxing, et cetera. Wow, she's got you wrapped around her little finger. Welcome to the Bratbusters Parenting Podcast. My name's Lisa Bunnage. I'm a parenting coach. My mom, I'm also a grandmother. And I'm Amy Bunnage, Lisa's daughter, and I handle the marketing and planning here at Bratbusters. While I don't have kids, each episode will dive into parenting topics and Lisa will answer your questions. Let's get started. Okay, sweetie, what is today's topic? Today's topic is why your kids ignore you. Okay, good one, nice general topic. It is, do you wanna start off with, why do kids ignore? Why your kids ignore you? They don't respect you, that's all. They don't ignore a leader. They don't ignore someone that they look up to. They ignore you because they don't respect you, period. You're not a leader yet, but you can work on that. They're gonna ignore a non-leader for sure, because it's a power trip. It's a snub, okay? And plus oftentimes they're ignoring you till you yell, because you might be a repeater too. So they're gonna ignore the first request, and then they're gonna keep nattering you until you yell. Then they might do what you ask them to do. So they know that there's a yell coming, whereas if I say something it's once, and then I take action, there's a consequence, and whatever. So yeah, but they just don't respect you, that's all. That's the bottom line. Do you, have you ever had parents where their kids just aren't listening, so they say something under their breath like, do you wanna go get ice cream? I've tested that, I've said to parents, let's test that, and see if it works, and then they hear you, and then you say, well, I was just testing you, because you were ignoring me. But you said we're gonna get ice cream, and now it's just a test, I wouldn't give into that. So yeah, I've done that with some of my clients, and it works quite well. But I don't recommend you start there. But yeah, listen though, if you respect someone, do you ever ignore anyone that you respect, that you look up to, that makes you feel good, which is what leadership's all about? No, so it's the same for you. You would never ignore someone that you look up to and you respect, never. I can envision this would be really frustrating as a parent though, because you feel like you say it once, you say it twice, you say it three times, and it just feels like the more you repeat yourself, the more almost they dig in their heels, is what I've seen parents say. Well, because the weaker you look, the more you repeat yourself, you just look weak. You look ineffectual. So of course they're gonna dig their heels in and keep expecting you to say it over and over and over again. I say something once, and then I take action, or there's a consequence, that's it. So how does that look in action? Let's say you have a toddler, and will toddlers listen? No, they're more in the crazy zone. They're gonna test stuff out all the time. But I do follow it up with action. I don't say anything twice. So I say, okay, we're gonna change your diaper. No, when they start running, I grab them and I pick them up and I put them on the change table and I change them. No big deal, right? They can be kicking and screaming, that's okay with me. But I don't say, come on, let's go get your diaper changed if I think they're gonna fight me. I just say, we're gonna change your diaper. Like, it's gonna happen. Time to get in the car seat, not, do you wanna get in the car seat? Or come on, get in the car seat. You know all that kind of question? I don't tend to question it with a defiant one. You've talked about how you set it up more like a statement rather than a question. Yeah, it's a statement, not a question. Yeah, or not even an order. Like, okay, get in the car seat. I'll have parents will say that and I say, no, just say, okay, time to get in the car seat. If you've got a defiant kid who pushes back, just say, time to get in the car seat and then make it happen. I'm trying to put myself, I'm not a parent. So I'm trying to put myself in the shoes of toddler parents. Maybe a question that might pop up is, isn't that teaching them that when you say no, that they can disrespect you because you're disrespecting their no? No, because they understand what needs to be done. Like what I mean is they understand that your no has, your no has more oomph, it actually means something. You're saying no to candy, you're saying no to ice cream. They're saying no because they don't wanna have their diaper changed. I mean, it's more of a necessity. They definitely can decipher between what needs to be done and what they just want. So there's a difference there. They understand that. That's a really good question though. And then as far as let's say older kids, so you classify from your perspective, a toddler to be 16 to 35 months. For kids three and older, you often refer to your Batbusters behavior board. Can listening go on the board? Never, because what you're saying is respect me. You can't demand it, you have to command it. You have to work for it and earn it. You can't tell an adult to respect you either. I'm gonna put it on a board. You respect me. Here's an email. It says respect me. You can't demand it. You gotta earn it. You gotta work for it. You gotta deserve it basically. Like a lot of parents expect it, but they don't deserve it because they're repeating themselves. They're yelling, they're looking angry, they're inconsistent and they expect to get respect. You haven't earned it. You don't deserve to get respect if you're doing those things. You gotta deserve it. Again, I'm trying to put myself in the shoes of the parent. Maybe they're listening to this right now and they're like, okay, Lisa, my kids aren't listening to me. Where do I even start as far as calm leadership? Well, start with the training wheels with all this is my free behavior board. And it has a toddler section on there also because the behavior board starts at three years old. So just start there and you start with one behavior per week. Okay, you can't address everything. I would, I'm level 10 with this because I invented all this stuff. Pardon me, but when you're learning, you wanna start with one behavior per week. And with toddlers, it's consistent corrective actions. It's not a behavior board. So if a toddler does something naughty, you say no, and then you take action. Like you remove them from the fun or remove fun from them. If they're three and above, that they do something naughty and it's on the board, you say, okay, so here's, let's go to the board. You broke the rule, here's your consequence. What would be an example of like a first rule that you could put on? Like let's say your kid isn't listening to you and you really wanna address that, but like what would be an example of where you'd start? Well, you said not listening to you. That's not a behavior, that's a lack of respect. So you have to deal with an action, okay? So it would be, let's say that they always run around the house with their shoes on instead of taking them off and putting them away at the front door. I would put on the behavior board, put your shoes and jacket away with before entering the house or whatever. So in the mudroom, something like that. And then you follow through with a consequence. So that's how you get respect. And also you're giving them pride too. You're giving them something to do, something to be responsible for. If you're not giving your kids any responsibilities, but don't nag them, don't remind them. If you're nagging them and reminding them, that's not their responsibility. There's no pride in that, they're just following your orders. You don't want that. Like my kids knew the rules and I would never remind them because then I'm nagging. And then there's no pride, no dignity, no self-respect because they're just following my orders. That's not what it's about. Okay, do you wanna get into the parenting questions? Sure, sounds good. First one is Anna from the United Kingdom, 14 year old. I don't have a specific question, I just need some help. She doesn't swear, does well at school, but she doesn't know when to listen or when to stop. Talks over me and argues her point on everything. I'm an easygoing mom, I think, I try and stay calm and I do to a point. But she just pushes and justifies and accuses me of so many things, then I lose my calm, we get angry and it's horrible. Okay, you said she doesn't know how to listen. I'm suggesting she just doesn't listen to you. She must know how to listen to teachers and friends or else she wouldn't have any friends and she'd be in trouble at school all the time. And there was no mention of that, was there? Not in the question written in. Okay, so yeah, just work on your leadership skills. You can still use the behavior board even with a 14 year old. You don't call it a behavior board, you can just put it up and put a rule down. Never listen, never put down listen to me or anything. That's in the attitude department, you've gotta earn that. But just put down, put your dirty clothes in the hamper and nowhere else or something like that. And then you say, and what do you want from me? So you ask her what she wants your rule to be and your consequence to be. So it's about giving respect to get it. Teenagers, I'm gonna read out my top five tips for parenting teenagers. They're my favorite age, they are quite different. Things shift and change a lot with teenagers. That's 13 and up. But you can still use a behavior board. It's just, yeah, you want it to be more interactive. You ask them what you want your rule to be. Okay, number one with teenagers, listen to understand and show empathy. You don't listen together information to lecture with or they will shut you out. If they want your advice, they'll ask for it. They already know it anyway. Number two, negotiate pretty much everything with teenagers. You say, hey, I want your dishes in the dishwasher before you leave the kitchen. What do you want from me? Number three, don't sweat the small stuff with teenagers. They're gonna do stupid things. And if they're just no big deal, just say, well, that was stupid. Do you want to hear what I did when I was your age? Or do you want to hear what I did yesterday and laugh it off? In other words, it's okay to not be perfect. Just like you were, just like you are. None of us are perfect, okay? And number four, don't leverage the good times to discuss the bad times. A lot of parents want to discuss the bad times and all the bad behavior with their teenagers and kids and whatever, never do that. There's no point whatsoever. It's just gonna make them feel worse and they're gonna be worse. If they feel good, they do good. If they feel bad, they do bad. And number five, with teenagers especially, you can be a right fighter or you can be happy. You can't be both. Even if a teenager's wrong and they know it, they'll still argue everything, okay? So just say, okay, well, let's just forget it and talk about it later or something. Never say, let's talk about it later when you've calmed down. That's rude, that's nasty. So, and that's an accelerator. So just say, yeah, let's just forget it or talk about it later. So you can be a right fighter or you can be happy. She just doesn't respect you right now. I think you expect too much from her. I'm guessing that's what's going on. And I think the number two would probably help with that. You negotiate as much as possible. Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate with teenagers. I'm not saying this is specifically in this situation. It just kind of made me think about this is that you often talk about the fact that parents maybe are a little bit, not easygoing, but maybe a little easy on their kids and maybe they fall more into the pleaser category. But then the pendulum swings and then they go into the authority style and it can kind of be this back and forth because their kids aren't listening. Do you wanna talk about that? Why did that come up now? What sparked that? It just said that they are trying to stay calm, but then they lose their calm and she said that she was trying to be an easygoing mom. Easygoing, I don't know what that means. Trying to be easygoing, trying to be calm. I don't know what easygoing, what she means by that. And that's the thing is I'm not saying this is the specific situation with this question, but it just kind of made me think about that. So you're trying to be friends and then that's not working. So then you come in as the authority. That's what I'm picking up. Easygoing friends, I don't know, letting her get away with stuff, which she shouldn't. You gotta be consistent. So a lot of parents think that they can be buddies with their kids. I was friends with my kids, but it was a very clear line. I was mom before I was anything else. If mother was ever needed, I became mother in a split second. She uses the word was, she still is. She still is mom about everything else. Like we're very close, like we chat every day, but you're always mom first. I'm always mom. Yeah, so I'm guessing you're trying to be friends with her by being easygoing. You're trying to come in that way. She doesn't want a middle-aged friend. That's what I always say. They don't want middle-aged friends, they want parents. So yeah, you can be friends with your kids, but your mom number one, that's the thing. I'm not saying you're middle-aged, but I'm past that now. But you know what I'm saying? It's kind of a funny thing to say. But yeah, they don't want older friends. They want parents, okay? And parents are very calm listeners too, when they're telling you their problems. Like I said, listening is huge with teenagers. You don't listen to gather information to lecture with. You listen to show empathy and understanding. And they'll tell you everything when you get good at this. Okay, the next question is Libby from England. My daughters are three and seven. I'm fed up of having to repeat requests over and over before they listen. By which time I'm frustrated and might shout. I'm trying to stay calm and have put certain areas they often do this on the behavior board. So for example, put shoes and coats away, tidy toys at bedtime. Do I ask them to complete a consequence in these instances? I found myself getting them to do a chore, which they do, but then carry on ignoring the original request. Should I move on to the consequence number two? Or am I using the behavior board wrong? I don't know. When I'm thinking you're doing, so let's say you say they have to make their bed as an example. They don't do it. So that it's on the board, make your bed every day. They don't, before 10 o'clock, you always have to put a time on it. Or else they might not make it till midnight, if you know what I mean. Okay, so you say they didn't make their bed, and then you have a consequence, and then you said that they still won't do what they were supposed to do. That should be part of the consequence, okay? So the consequence is make your bed plus empty the dishwasher. So you can do that. And then if they won't do either, both of those, then you resort to the second consequence. Does that make sense? Did to me. Does it to you? Maybe not. Yeah, if it's a chore, if their rule is a chore, and they didn't do it, then I would make their consequence, which is the first consequence is a chore usually, make that initial rule part of the consequence. God, don't ask me to say that again. Well, I think I'm just trying to... But not the only consequence. You can't just say, okay, you didn't make your bed. Now is the consequence, you have to make your bed. It's like you didn't make your bed, now you have to make your bed and empty the dishwasher. And if you don't, then 24 hour media blackout, your choice. I think also something that you did mention, but maybe just you reiterate this a lot, is the idea that you have to have the time constraints. It can't just be pick up 10 toys. You talk about the fact it's pick up 10 toys within 10 minutes. So it's not arguable. It has to be measurable. Because when that timer goes ding and it wasn't done, now you've got a leg to stand on. Otherwise they're just gonna say, I was gonna do it later. That's ridiculous. You have to have it timed or measured 10 toys within 10 minutes. You can't just say pick up toys in 10 minutes. How many toys they might pick up two, right? 10 toys within two minutes. And Lego was one toy. Sorry, how many might they pick up? Your voice went very high when you said that. I know, I'm very little. I've got a little little in my voice today. I don't know why. Christmas hangover, there you go. I didn't have any alcohol, but food hangover. We'll get into the next question. So we have Chandler from the United States, almost three year old. My child isn't listening. Almost to the point where I'm worried about his hearing, but I know it's not that. I call his name and he just ignores me. I tell him to do something and he ignores me. I don't yell, but I have to repeat myself so many times and I'm tired of it. How do I get him to listen and care about what I'm saying to him? Oh, well, you can't ask him to care what you're saying. That's not gonna happen. It'll happen organically, but you can't expect him to care. So you can't expect a child to care about putting his dishes in the dishwasher. So yeah, you said he's almost three, I think, so he's really little. So yeah, you say, okay, time to go and he doesn't listen to you, pick him up and go. Follow it up with action, because he's not even three yet. You say, okay, time to change your diaper or time to go to the bathroom, pick him up, put him on the toilet. Pick him up, change his diaper, pick him up, put him to bed. You never say anything twice. If you say it twice, they instinctively know you don't know what you're doing. If you have to repeat yourself, you don't know what you're doing. And they know it. They pick up on that really fast. I say something once, and if they don't follow along, then I pick them up and make it happen. You have talked about the idea that it's almost like it's training them to tune you out. Of course it is, because they know you're gonna say it 20 more times, then you're gonna get mad. And it's a power struggle with them. They're wallowing in that. They're wallowing in the power over you. And then you're getting all upset. You're giving them a lot of power, a lot of control. And then you complain about it. You don't understand. You've given them that on a silver platter. And then you complain about it. It doesn't make any sense at all to me, right? You give them that power by repeating yourself and not instantly following it up with action. And then you complain that they don't listen. It just doesn't make any sense. Have you ever heard of a parent doing, like if their kid isn't listening to them, have you heard about parents not listening to their kids and being like, well, now you know how it feels? That's ridiculous. That's, you're expecting as much from them as you are from yourself when you talk like that. Well, now you know how I feel. It's very immature to talk like that to a child. Yeah, no, that's ridiculous. Leaders don't talk like that. It's spiteful. Now you know how I feel. It's spiteful. It sounds weak. It sounds snotty. Yeah, you're not a leader if you talk like that. I can just imagine though, because again, it must just be so frustrating the moment. And if you don't know how to approach it, I can envision that you're as a parent trying to just, trying to think of things on the spot. I think it's frustrating because you're blaming your kids. Look in the mirror, blame yourself. Take full responsibility for their actions and their behavior. Instead of blaming them, blame yourself. Then you won't get as mad at them. You'll get, you want to get mad at yourself and think, darn, I really messed up. I'm going to fix this. Okay. Look in the mirror, stop blaming your kids for all this. That's where all the frustration comes from. You're blaming them. You train them to do that. You train them to tune you out. You're trained them to kick and scream and hurt people past the age of three, right? Toddlers are just going to try stuff anyway. But yeah, you train them to do all this stuff and then you get mad at them when they do. But I know you don't understand that you did, but you did, you trained them. Their behavior between the ages of three to 12 is all on you. It's just a pure reflection of parenting. Three to 12, by the way. Teenagers are a little bit different than were influenced by outside people and toddlers are going to try stuff anyway. Can you talk about, there are exceptions. There are exceptions, but generally, and the thing is not with me. When I was working with kids and they acted out under my care as a mentor, like with teenagers and that, if they acted out and I was with them, I always said, what am I missing? What am I doing wrong? They weren't even my kids. I had them for an hour a week. A leader takes full responsibility for a young person's actions when they're under your wing. Are your kids driving you nuts? They don't have to. Check out bratbusters.com for my boot camp courses if you want to learn how to become a leader. Okay, the next question is Elizabeth from the United States. I have a 22-month-old and he is a fairly easy child. When he starts to do something I don't want him to do, so for example, climbing the stairs, I say no and I wait for him to stop before taking action. Sometimes he does stop, but most of the time, he turns and looks at me and then tries again. This is when I take action. I've started to wonder if I'm doing the wrong thing by giving him a chance to listen to me. Is my fatigue and I hope that he will not climb the stairs so I don't have to get up and move, but I'm wondering if I'm doing it wrong and need to take action the first time. I'm such a block in my dancer, but this is more gray. If he isn't climbed to ignore you, I would take action right away. If he sometimes listens, I would give him an opportunity to listen and then I would take action. That's interesting. I would not expect that. Yeah, because of his age. He's 22 months old. He's still kind of, it's really little, right? So yeah, give him an opportunity to do the right thing, but if you know he's not going to, I would take action. I would say no and then action fast. Okay, the next one is Carla from Kuwaitia. Sorry, let me interrupt. The reason is I want his action to be quick. I'd rather he do it himself. So if you think there's a possibility he'll do it himself quickly, let him do it. If you know he's not going to, you want the action to be quick, so you do it. Like he's going to climb the stairs. You don't want him to get up to the third step. Whether or not you've stopped him or he has, it doesn't matter to me who stops him. I see, so in this instance, you're really main focus, like setting him up for success. Yes, I want him to stop on his own, but if he's not going to, I'm going to train him not to get to the third step by never allowing it. I'm going to step in, ha ha, step in. Sorry, I said in this instance, I think generally your approach is to set kids up for success. It is, for sure. Well, I'd rather them be self-disciplined than me have to do it. Like my kids were self-disciplined because they knew if they made a poor choice, I'd come in with a consequence. It was that simple. Also, if I made a poor choice, they would come in with a consequence for me too. So it was mutual. That's what makes it work too. If you're not accountable, you're not a leader, you're just a dictator. I just want to make a comment because I have seen some comments online whenever you mentioned, well, it was easy with my kids, they were self-disciplined, but you also had so much experience with kids beforehand where you were using a lot of these practices on us. Oh, tons. I'd worked with tons and tons of kids before I had my own. So, and I earned that. So I earned that. Their behavior was earned. Like I worked for it when they were little. And then by the time they were three, they were kind of self-disciplined. I worked for that. It didn't, they don't come out of the womb like that. You have to work on that. You have to teach them, guide them. Okay, the next one is Carla from Quesha. How to handle the phase no from a two and a half year old boy. Whenever I ask him something, he answers no, which was not the case before. Yeah, they're going to try stuff. It's a powerful word because parents react to it. My granddaughter is going through that. She's almost two now. She'll say no, but she knows that it's not going to work. So if you say, I'll say to her, hold my hand because we're going up to the street to cross it. And she'll say no, but then she gives me her hand anyway. So she'll do the right thing, but she likes to say no first. She's kind of coming out of that a little bit now because it never works. They're going to give anything a go. She thought maybe at first it was kind of, you go, no, okay, come on over here. And she thought, wow, that gets a different reaction. So she started saying it a few more times, but she's learning it doesn't work. And they all do. They learn, they only do what works after a certain point. Also probably just rolls off the tongue really nicely. It's fun to say. Yeah, no, no, she does it all the time, no matter what I'm doing with her or the parents too. But then she does it and say, come on, eat that up. No, and then she eats it. It's just really cute. And the next one is Heidi from Mexico. My six year old, almost seven year old, follows instructions at home and behaves pretty well, doesn't really have tantrums or fits. We have consequences and a set of rules, but at school I've been told that he has frequent tantrums and doesn't respect the teacher. Does the C pleases sometimes. Also he makes noise to distract other children and wants to get attention in a bad way. How can I deal with this and help him see teachers as an authority figure who he has to respect? Okay, now, usually they're better at school than they are at home. Cause teachers are usually better leaders than parents are. And it's a different role by the way, one's business, one's personal. My guess is you cater to him at home and you let him get away with stuff without realizing it. Because it all starts at home usually, unless there's something going on at school that I don't know about that you haven't said, but maybe there's a teacher that he really just doesn't get along with or that picks on him or a kid picks on him. I don't know, but generally if they're acting out at school and not at home, it's because he gets all his own way and he's catered to at home. That's usually why, cause that does not happen at school. So that's usually the reason or something's going on there that's kind of throwing him off, but it doesn't sound like he's upset. It sounds like he's just kind of bossy. You do talk about checking in to make sure. Oh, I would check with the teachers. Is there anything going on here that I should know about? You know, you do some investigative work, but I'm pretty sure it's the fact that you're catering to him, sounds like it. You know, what was the opening statement? Things are pretty good at home. How did, what did they say there? So it says follows instructions at home, behaves pretty well, doesn't have tantrums or fits, lots of consequences and rules, but at school. Lots of consequences and rules. I don't know then, I'm not sure, but I'm guessing he, I'm guessing no one, he doesn't have to wait his turn for anything at home. Things go pretty much his way. He's got his own toys there. He doesn't have to share. Could that be it? He's a little bit spoiled, maybe. I don't know. I'm just guessing, I'm throwing that out there. So anyway, I'm not sure. I haven't got a lot of information to keep going with that one, to be honest. Okay, we have one final question. So Adelie from the United States, daughters three. Overall, I feel we have a good relationship and she's very easy to work with. In general, she's pretty conversational. There is one thing that she does though, where I feel at a loss. She has these moments where she'll ignore me completely, despite repeating myself, coming down to her level, coaxing, et cetera. Whether I'm asking her a question or giving her a direction, or even just trying to have a conversation. She'll look me right in the face, but will be dead silent. Sometimes she'll walk away and pretend I'm not there. My question is, what do I do with a toddler who gives me the silent treatment, primarily when I've laid out an expectation for her? Wow, she's got you wrapped around her little finger. You said that you're coaxing her, you're getting down on her level, you're repeating yourself. Yeah, she's controlling you. She's got the puppet strings and you're the puppet. That's why. Stop repeating yourself. Stop getting down on her level. You know how parents get down your level and you discuss, you know, come in, you need to do that? That's ridiculous. That's in the mini therapy session stuff. I don't do any of that. So she's three and you say, okay, we're gonna go now. And she completely ignores you. You just pick her up or take her hand and you walk her out to the car, you go. So you don't repeat yourself. You don't say, come on, we're gonna go now. It's gonna be lots of fun. You know, and then you don't hold her hands and get down on her level, look in her eyes and try and reason with her. Those are the three things I think you're doing wrong from what you've said, because you've said you were doing those things. So yeah, just say we're going now and then pick her up and leave. Say time to go to bed and she ignores you, pick her up and put her in bed. Follow it up with action. Okay, well that was it for the questions. Okay, kids not listening to you. It has nothing to do with them and has everything to do with you. Most like kids will always listen to a leader. It doesn't matter if they don't listen to their parents or not, children are instinctively drawn to a leader. A leader brings out the best in them, makes them feel good about themselves. A non-leader does not. A pleaser or an authority does not necessarily make them feel good about themselves. They don't get pride about themselves when they are not with a leader. When they're with a leader, they feel like they have control because they just do. They know that it's all up to them. You're not gonna repeat yourself. It's all up to them to follow through with what they need to do. So they feel like they have more control over their own lives. They feel more proud of themselves because they have chores, they have responsibilities. And they also trust you that you're gonna follow things up with action and guide them along in being good people. Remember, if they feel good, they do good. If they feel bad, they do bad. If you're repeating yourselves, they're not feeling good about themselves because they know it's not a very nice thing to make a parent repeat themselves. They just instinctively know when they're not being nice. So it's not kind to allow them to get away with these things. So if they're not listening, it's all on you. You lead, they will follow. Children are instinctively drawn to a leader. A leader brings out the best in them, increases their self-esteem and makes them feel safe. And be fun, connection is everything. I always say that's the engine that makes all this go. Connect with them, have fun with them in their world. I think that's a great place to end. Okay, sounds good. We'll be back again another day talking about another parenting topic. Happy parenting. Thanks for tuning in. If you're ready to dive deeper, check out bratbusters.com to learn more about the behavior board, parenting courses, and private 101 coaching with Lisa. If you've enjoyed the show so far, we'd love it if you could take a moment to follow, rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback helps us reach more parents just like you. The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional advice. Lisa is a parenting coach, mom and grandmother. She is not a licensed psychologist or counselor. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. For a full disclaimer, please visit bratbusters.com forward slash disclaimer.