Camels, Cults and Candace

so are we supposed to start the podcast ready one two three patriots gay triots they triots black triots brown triots and the maga cultists can do what fuck off all right pumps what have you had it with okay what i've had it with is when you are at a self-service kiosk and someone from the growing concern comes up to you and tries to upsell you on what you're buying. And this continues to happen to me. Number one spot is at my car wash. I go into the self-service and the guy runs over and tries to upsell me on a membership. Then it happened again at the fucking cleaners. I'm like, I'm just checking out. I'm getting my clothes. I'm checking out and they come over and want me to buy a bit like a package every month of how many shirts I'm going to have cleaned. And I'm just like, why does going through self-service not signal you don't want to interact with the business? It's ridiculous. I've had it. Yeah, it's just all the forced capitalism, as you know, for decades, that's been one of my grievances, like the the ruse where a woman will invite you over to your house like oh i'm having a girl's night and then it's some makeup presentation some fucking pyramid racket that they're dragging your ass into it's the same thing now like you're going to self-checkout and somebody's going to run over and here's the thing like these people probably get are incentivized or and or have a quota yeah to do this and i feel bad for the workers same and then these companies have figured out if you can get people to buy a membership then we have a sustained monthly income. So that's what they're trying to do. They're trying to sell you this monthly minimum that you get charged as their business model. So they know that they have a predictable amount of money, but it's just bullshit. It's the late stage capitalism is just so fucked. It's so unenjoyable because you're hustled at every minute. And then when you find out like all the algorithms, everything, they're mining all your information, all of your choices so they can target you with shit you want to buy. Like it's, it's relentless, relentless. You're so right. Sadly, they know what I want to buy too. All right. So let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it when I'm traveling with the packing part. Every time I get my suitcase out and I have to start packing the, and I'm not a procrastinator by nature, but when I pack, I'm a complete procrastinator. I overcomplicate it. I project certain things or instances where I might need a particular item that never manifest. And so I'm a pretty good packer, but I would say a 20% over pack. And then when I get to my destination and I unpack my suitcase, because when I immediately arrive at a hotel, I'm an unpacker. I immediately start getting disgusted with myself for the choices that I've made, the extra items that I threw in that were unnecessary, that were unneeded, that I'm going to have to try to squeeze back into the suitcase to get back home. And just, I love unpacking. I hate packing. I hate all of the scenarios that run through my head about packing. I can't stand it. Yeah, no, I'm the same. I'm like, oh, well, I might need a pair of jeans or I might want to work out. And it's like, you know, you're never going to do that. Everywhere I go, I act like there are no stores available to buy anything. You are limited to what you have in your suitcase. It drives me crazy. I do the same thing. But I will say, I've been on a gazillion trips with you. I feel like you're an excellent packer. I could be better. We all could be better. I could be better. I'm a really good packer, but there's just always these last minute throw-ins that are ridiculous, impulsive. You'll never wear. Yeah. And it's like some crazy scenario I've made up in my head that, well, maybe after I'm out that day, then I come back to the room and I want to change tops. I never do that in real life. My husband does that shit all the time. He is like midday costume change galore. I am not that person. I never do it. But then I pack as though I'm all of a sudden going to be something different than the person that I've been for my entire life. I hate packing. I hate it. I hate the stuff that goes through my head. All right. Welcome to I Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. This is America's Top DEI Podcast. We have a producer named Kylie who's going to share some information with us. Okay. We've got an email from a listener that I received, and they write, Dear Jennifer and Pumps, I'm not even going to mention the astounding oversight of men's Hawaiian shirts without pockets. I've had it with megachurches turning public roads into their personal valet service. These MAGA outposts hire private security to stop traffic on public streets so their congregation can pour out of the parking lot uninterrupted. Not police, not a city detail, just a skinny, pimply guy in a safety vest deciding the rest of us can wait while a parade of MAGA SUVs escapes the sanctuary. Nothing says Christian values like blocking the public so you can beat the Methodists to cracker barrel. Slap a cross on the building and suddenly traffic laws become suggestions. I've had it from a taxpayer stuck watching the rapture of the suburbans. And this is real. I've experienced this. People know what streets to avoid when Sunday gets out around the megachurches. I've experienced this, too. So when I lived in Oklahoma City, where I'd play pickleball with my girlfriends every Sunday, in order for me to get back home, I had to drive by a Life Church satellite church. And listener, Life Church is this hideous, atrocious, snake oil salesman, grifting, lying organization that has hundreds of millions of dollars in the bank. Their number one goal is to expand, aka rip off congregants. And they have these idiots standing outside with these vests on. Number one, they're like waving at people like, hey, we're friendly. Come to our church, which I think that's creepy. I think like you shouldn't have to. The whole proselytizing of mega churches, the whole prosperity gospel of it, the whole we're going to expand, we're going to build more churches, more churches. that thousands of people are so fucking stupid. They don't realize what a racket it is. Number one, I've had it with that. Number two, to the twerps standing out in the parking lots, trying to act like they're cops directing traffic and also waving people in. I've completely had it with this. And then there becomes like this single file line to turn into the parking lot. Yes. And if I didn't play well at pickleball that day, like got my ass beat by the lesbians, which happens a lot when you play lesbians because just anecdotally, I think lesbians are better athletes than straight women, but that's neither here nor there. But when I'm driving down and I got my ass beat and I see live church, which number one, unattractive church, horrible, horrible, horrible architecture. I mean, an embarrassment. The one thing, the Catholics, which is, you know, Catholics have all their problems, but at least they have good architecture. Beautiful. At least it's a pretty building. Live Church is the most hideous, gross looking church. The pastor, you should just go take a look at this guy. I mean, if you guys think Pumps and I have Botox, take a gander at Craig Groeschel and the fucking freeze face, grease face Botox of this grifter. All right. And so this is what's so crazy about this church. So he is one guy and he preaches on at one church and then all of the other church locations, you guys, is a screen of him preaching at the other church. It's fucking crazy. The whole megachurch racket thing is such a crazy thing. And that's why you can go to our store and purchase our t-shirts that say boycott megachurches because I could go on and on and on about this forever. But the fact that this guy, this Botox kink does a video from one church and then he has like 20 churches around and the laziness to not hire another preacher and the narcissism that he's like, I'm so fucking great. Let's just put screens in all the other churches and just play me. How culty is that shit? And how arrogant and narcissistic is that shit? And the fact that people sit there and watch a video screen and then tied to this motherfucker is more than I can take. And also he's huge MAGA. Surprise, surprise. I was going to say, is it a surprise? I don't think so. But what about the arrogance and the narcissism of that? I hadn't thought about that, but like, I'm so great. Nobody else can do it. So I have to be on the screen because I look good. At least Catholic church, each church has their own priest. Right. Yeah. No, that's not like the Pope being telecast to all the churches. I mean, the level of narcissism in that is just, it's like absurd to me. Okay, I've got some news stories. This is some great news coming out of United Airlines. United Airlines can now remove passengers who play video or audio out loud without headphones. It says United's Rule 21 allows them to refuse or remove passengers for safety reasons. This now includes anyone who plays audio or video without headphones. And other changes it includes is United is trying to stop passengers from booking multiple tickets to lower their total fare. And other banned behavior includes being disruptive or violent, being barefoot or not properly clothed, and causing strong odors with disability exceptions. Okay, I think all these changes are long, long overdue, especially the bare feet. But okay, so everybody's been on the odd Southwest flight that the flight attendant sings or tells jokes and it's just miserable. On the last flight I was on, not the flight attendant that was over the intercom, but the flight attendant walking down the rows was going, fasten your seatbelts, raise up your tray table, like singing the instructions. And I was just like, what in the literal fuck is happening? What airline was this? American. It wasn't Southwest? No, it was American. American Airlines had a singing flight attendant on Friday and not that shit. And that, that shit mega church enrages me. Like nothing enrages me as much as mega churches, but over chirpy flight attendants putting on a performance that shit enrages me. I'm like, I did not come to the theater, bitch. No, I do not need a slapstick comedy routine. And I like, I love flight attendants. Love. I think it's a cool job. I think that they have to herd cats. Anyway, go ahead. That would just enrage me. No, I was enraged. And this was after my Uber driver from the hotel would not shut the fuck up. I had my earphones in. I faked two phone calls. I acted like I was on the phone twice. And it was just like, I knew everything about her. Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak. Then I get on the plane and she starts singing to me about my tray table and my seat being in the upright position. And I thought, I am going to lose my fucking mind. Then I thought, am I the problem? Then I reviewed it and I was like, no, I'm not the problem. In this particular case, I am not the asshole. No, no, that's maddening. You're on an airplane. I appreciate that she's in a good mood. Right. But I think there's something slightly psychotic about being that happy at work. There's a little red flag in that to me. There's like, okay, I can say I'm having a great day and I'm at work today. But like the singing and singing, put a sock in it, put a fucking sock in it. Flying is miserable for people. I mean this. I really like flight attendants. I always try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm a great passenger. I do the rules. I don't even recline my seat because I don't want to cause any problems on the plane. I want to be an invisible person And I want the flight attendant to go you know what She was a great traveler She was a great fucking traveler She was pleasant to be around If somebody started singing at me I think I could go from being a great traveler to a raging C-U-N-T really quickly. Now, I wouldn't be mean to her, but I think that I would just probably have a lot of bitchy looks on my face. But here's something I'm going to say about that policy that I 100% agree with. is the body odor. I have been in airports before and I have smelled people that, and I have a iron stomach. I do not, I'm not a queasy person at all. I don't get grossed out easily at all. And the smell of this body odor was so rank that I had a gag reflex. And I, I didn't know the body could create that type of scent. How bad it was. I've smelled BO. I've smelled BO on me before. I've smelled it on friends before. I've smelled it passing people. I've been at the gym and smelled some BO. This was something I did not know the human body could possibly produce. Have you ever smelled it that intensely, you guys? Yeah, I have. I've been at an airport and it was really, Like even like I kept giving distance because we're going in the same direction and I couldn't get enough distance from it. And I just think it's because it kind of permeates over a long period of time. Do you think that's MAGA of us to think they need to wear deodorant or do you think it's a universal thing? Like if you I think it has to be universal. I think it has to be universal. And I think that everybody that gets on a morning flight, it should be required that everybody brush their teeth and their tongue. because I notice smelly people on earlier flights more than I do afternoon flights as a general rule. Kylie, as the millennial lesbian, which might be a little bit more sensitive and PC than the Gen X host of the podcast, what are your thoughts on rank ass fucking decades old BO in a bird, a capsule that flies in the air? If fucking the bird is in the sky, there's no ventilation at all. What are your thoughts on a person traveling through the United States and deodorant? I think the entire world needs to be getting the cancer that that deodorant gives you. It's just the price we pay to get through life together in a small bird, especially. I'm OK with that. Yeah, I just I think that that's something that we just it needs to be put. On the internet, it needs to be introduced into AI models. It needs to be summoned by travel agents and by airlines. If you fly on our plane, if I owned an airline, I would say, number one, flight attendants. Be kind. Be jovial. Do not fucking sing. Do not tell jokes. Do not put a sock in that. And number two, customers, if you have not applied deodorant, do not get on my bird, period. Sue me, do what you want to do, but you cannot get on this bird unless you've put on deodorant. Agree. I don't think that's too much to ask. Listener, are you doing a little clothing shopping? Sometimes it's not as easy or as fun as it sounds. Sometimes it's just absolutely miserable because you can't find anything you want. I personally have spent hours scrolling, zooming in, reading reviews, only to end up with a cart full of nothing that fits, nothing that feels right, and a bunch of returns to do. And my God, what a nightmare those returns are. Now I'm using Stitch Fix. 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All right, tax season is upon us and tax season for a lot of us is one of those times that we actually look at the full financial picture of our lives, our earning, our spending, our savings. And I'm going to tell a little secret to you guys. I use Monarch. I use it year round because Monarch helps me see where my money's going and where my tax refund, if I get one, will have the biggest impact because I want to make progress with my money, not just look back and wonder where on earth did I spend all of this? Monarch is unlike other personal finance apps. Monarch is built to make you proactive, not just reactive. Monarch also has an AI assistant, 24-7 access to a financial coach, accessible from anywhere in Monarch. From questions about trends in your spending to how to pay off debt, the AI assistant has all of the answers and you get a recap. 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Oman. 20 camels were disqualified from the 2026 Camel Beauty Show Festival in Oman after veterinary inspectors found they had been given cosmetic enhancements, including Botox, dermal fillers silicone and hormones organizers said the animals violated competition rules which judge camels on natural features such as coat head shape neck lips and hump officials vowed strict penalties citing concerns over fairness yada yada i'm so confused what did the camels need botox for it said they were judge them on their lips and on their appearance Oh, like they're filling up their lips to make them bigger and all that. That is some American dance mom shit right there. No shit. That is just some full blown, like that is some psych, remember that case where the Texas mom, cheerleader mom wanted to kill the rival of her cheerleader daughter. That's what's going on with these camels in Oman. Well, and here's the deal, like Botox for a camel, the camel doesn't know why you're getting it. Like when I go into Botox and get, you know, dare I say 40, 50 shots, I know what I'm getting. I go in for it. So these camels, they don't know. Well, that's mean to the camels. I don't like it. Okay. What's next? Okay. We haven't talked about this yet, but have you guys seen what Candace Owens has been up to? She's doing her documentary. She's doing this series called Bride of Charlie, which I think is a plan. Bride of Chucky, like the horror film. Bride of Frankenstein. Right. And she's done. She was only going to do two or three episodes. But people were so mad at her. She said, fuck it. I'm going to make this a series. She's on like episode seven right now. She's still going. I watched. one of them. And I've never watched a full Candace Owens in my life. What was it like? I haven't either. What was it like watching a full Candace Owens? Is it intoxicating? Kind of. And I don't know why. She's fucking nuts. But like I sat there for an hour and four minutes. So like I get why people watch. And this series I looked this morning has like 15 million views overall so far. so whatever she's doing I can't decide if she's like I used to think she was smart and doing the craziness on purpose but after watching this I think she's gone I think she's in it I think she believes all of it so pretty much she starts the episode the series diving into like Erica's family from the 1800s like she made this family tree okay and she's she's accusing here's what i wrote down i took notes okay starts out with a 45 minute look into erica's great great great grandparents um down her entire family tree literally she's dredging up arrests in the 1800s for like illegal gambling from her great great great grandmother and she's using all this to say erica is coming from a line of crooks criminal genes yes criminal jeans um she then goes into finding all of like her yearbook photos and you know like that's her that's erica kirk's yearbook photos there are people but there are people accusing her of being like she used to be a little boy because she is that a bull cut yeah it's what i would have referred to in my day when i had that haircut it was the dorothy hamill who for the younger listener was an American figure skater that had that cut. I had that cut. You had that cut? I did. Did they literally put a bowl on your head? No, they just went. My mother would have never allowed me to have a cut like that. She would have found that to be rather unfeminine. My boomer mother. And according to Candace, these photos are when she went to this Jewish school in Arizona that I guess does not exist anymore and the Jewish school is connected to time travel um and Erica yeah there's a big time travel thing throughout all of this and I also wrote down there's an MK ultra mind control theory that's connected to Erica um and Erica doesn't have this is quote erica doesn't have any memories except what's been downloaded to her that day and that's why she lies about her past let me process this so yeah yeah she erica is a computer that has memories downloaded inside of her by the jews yeah and it goes back to freud um um MK ultra what's MK ultra is like this old it's a conspiracy theory on the FBI that they have this thing that can control people's minds I also have a little clip um that I'll play for you guys on this are you a hybrid Erica answer yes or no like I don't understand why they don't understand why none of this is normal why are we having to explain to Turning Point USA why all this is off and why it feel like she intentionally just edits a little bit after feedback, like they're just downloading an algorithm, you know like people are say you shouldn be wearing sparkly pants So then she like okay download the new algorithm says we black and then she wearing black And then they like I don think her tears are real So someone like do not use tissue drop tear on cheek And then she does it and she lets the tears flow. There's just like little updates that are being made each time because the I don't know there's just no sense of common humanity. They're a common understanding of how humans should be behaving and they're like trying to teach a hybrid what to do so they're like oh okay got caught remember on when you were cheering about the hat sales the merch so this time mention how much you love your kids thank you for watching my kids i look forward to learning your names okay y'all are gonna think i'm fucking crazy but i 100 agree with her on that 100 agree with her on that the evangelical women that I have known in my life. And that is what Erica Kirk is. They are not free thinkers and they take whatever the, whatever comes in front of them. And then they make adjustments. There's no conviction. There's no core principle. It's, Oh, this is what really happened there. Oh, I didn't realize it happened that way. Okay. And then they just move on. That is so familiar what she's explaining. I don't know if this makes me a Candace Owens person. obviously i'm not um she's you know she's got a lot of fucking problems but her description of a kept white evangelical woman who crowdsources what to do from her pastor from her parents from her husband from her friends groups pumps you can speak to that that is spot on what these women are spot on candace fucking nailed that she nailed it i mean other than they're not robots but they kind are but like growing up my mother had a this is what your life looks like this is the script of your life and i ticked the boxes like i was supposed to i know you know and if she said no that's not it the only time i bucked her is actually going to law school and not being a school teacher so i mean like somebody else telling you what to do i completely identify with that and not having my own thoughts about what I wanted. I completely think that's true. And Erica, Kirk, Jennifer, you pointed this out from jump. Like when she was in different crowds, like she was full Tammy Faye Baker at the funeral service. And then she looked more normal when she was interviewing on CBS news. So she knows what looks go with which thing. And I would say that's true too because I grew up with Tammy Faye Baker being played in the house but yet I wasn't allowed to do that so I I think Candace is 100% right I think she nailed it I mean I just the women that I know it's like they take feedback like that from their husbands or from a friend group and it's like oh they said that I did this so I'm going to make this adjustment where a fully realized person with autonomy and agency. I don't give a fuck what you think. I still believe this. I'm still going to do this. And, you know, I can't tell you how many friends that do not get Botox because their husband doesn't agree with it. Shut the fuck up. Like that's happening all day, every day. Yeah. I think more than anything, I mean, is that when you sent your kids to that, that school and those people that were around. I think that the herd mind, every single woman is the exact same person. I would meet 10, 10 people that were pumps his friends. My, my son's team would be playing her son's team. And I would walk over. There was no differentiating individuality among any of them. It was all the exact same person. Maybe one had blonde hair, maybe one had brown hair. It was all the exact fucking same person. I mean, just there was no differentiating factors in personality, even the way they speak. Oh my gosh. Hi, Jennifer. It's really nice to see you. How's Roman? Like, why are we talking like we're toddlers? Like, what is this? We're grown women oh i forget you're not and that shit drives me fucking crazy i cannot fucking stand that kind of talk it drives me fucking oh my god how's josh dylan it's like why the fuck are you talking to me like that what the fuck is wrong with you that's what i'm going to say next time what the fuck is wrong with you? Well, it's the girl that you still have to get on me for doing. It's also the exact same way. All of the like Moses, Mike grinder, Johnson wives talks like that. It's all the same person. They produce the exact same woman over and over and over and over again. Like there's no differentiation between any of them. And so Erica Kirk, she has an army of Erica Kirk's that are just like that. And Candace Owens is on the case. And I probably disagree with Candace Owens on 99% of everything, but she's kind of spot on with that right there. I've witnessed it. I've been it. I've been that person. So I completely agree. But once you agree, Pumps, all of those crossings Christian moms are the same exact person. for the most part yes i would say that's true yeah i mean it's just there's me it's the it's the rule not the exception to be an outsider in that i would say yeah okay jen i had your same feelings with candace like i guess the enemy of my enemy is my friend so i kept agreeing with her yeah but i kept being like this is candace owens you can't here's the deal when i've watched stuff with Candace Owens, I've never watched a full one hour, but I've watched like a 10 or 15 minute clip. There's something very, like you get sucked in by Candace. She's got something. Well, I think she has a telegenic it factor. My favorite of all time is how she linked the Charlie Kirk assassination to Bridget Macron to her horrific, horrific transphobia of Bridget macron that bridget macron is trans she linked the french legionnaires as somehow linked to the assassination of charlie kirk and how she did that and mastered marveled all of that together is a special kind of crazy i have a quick 45 seconds of her being a nut if we want to run it let's watch it let's let's play what i am is i am somebody who has left the cult of science Dinosaurs? That seems pretty fake and gay. What on earth? You rawr! Like, okay, so they're just roaming the planet. Because what I have now realized is that science, what it is actually, if you think about it, is a pagan faith. But do you believe people landed on the moon? I don't know. Okay, there we go. I just want to know why we didn't go back. We did go back. What, did we go back? To the moon? Were people on the moon? We went back like 10 more times. Are you, we, okay. Let me tell you, if you are not a conspiracy theorist by now, it's because you are not intelligent. Wow. She's kooky, man. She's kooky. I mean, even a broken clock hits the right time twice a day. Is that the old saying? But she says some shit that I just, she doesn't believe in science. It's a peg. I mean, like, what? Here's all you need to know. This woman is a homophobic, transphobic, black woman that thinks she's safe in the MAGA movement. You know, I mean, this is, but I mean, at the end of the day, she's an entertainer and the right wing media has incubated and primed the soil, primed the psychological soil to to be anti-science. Look at who is the head of HHS. So her saying that she's anti-science, before Trump ever came down the escalator, I had some fucking morons I went to Westmore High School with that were like, I've been conducting my own scientific research. And I'll tell you what I think. I think the earth is 6,000 years old. Science can do what they want to do, but I got my own thing going. I'm like, okay, big guy. Social media and all this shit has just enabled all this idiocy. And then, you know, YouTube and algorithms. I mean, look at what idiots we are. And we have a pretty big show. I mean, that's a fair point. All right, listener, we put a lot of junk in our bodies and just for grins and giggles right now, go grab your box of cereal and actually read the ingredients. You're going to find refined sugars, red 40, synthetic pesticides, seed oils, and a bunch of words you cannot pronounce. It's simply not real food. It's a science experiment. The founder of Lovebird Cereals decided to take on big food after the birth of his daughter. He created a delicious cereal that was proud to serve his family every day. Listener, Lovebirds cereal contains just seven real ingredients, all listed directly on the front of the box. 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No, I don't get to do that. So stop saying I'm family and stop cornering me and acting like somehow my extra time, my extra effort, my attention to your bullshit is required because it's what you do for family. That's just hot fucking garbage. These are just white man-shaped piles of dog shit most of the time who are using this phrase. And I've fucking had it. I have long felt like family is one of the most abused and overused hijacked co-opted words on the planet. I've had it with that. I remember, Pumps, you'll remember this. when you enter into a business relationship with somebody and they go, you know, we're really not a business. We're more like a family. Turn around, pack your shit up and run for your fucking life. Nobody at work is a family. Work is not family. Right. It's different. Here's the thing I have really found. It's interesting. She uses it in that context because I agree with her, but I have found because of the faith and family and more family values, My tolerance for the word family is at an all time low. Like I'm immediately skeptical of anybody that throws around the family word in any context because of all the crazy hypocrisy over on the right. So just one personal story about this. This is hilarious. And I may have told you all this before. I don't know. But Josh and I were in Italy with our sons and we hiked up to these Roman ruins. and it was a, and the kids were pretty young at the time, you know, like maybe seven and 11. So we do this massive hike up like a cliff and we get to the top and we're at these Roman ruins and somebody at the hotel the night before it said, Hey, if you go up to the Roman ruins, instead of taking the path, you came up immediately upon leaving turn right. And you can hike down through the woods and it's all shaded and it's kind of a shortcut. And so we went up and the hike was, you know, the kids were like bitching like little kids do about the hike. Josh has a backpack full of 95,000 camera equipment because he can't take one camera, not Josh Welch. Why take one when you can take five, right? I'm, you know, single, white and free, except for my husband and my kids. And I'm, you know, I'm in a good mood. I'm always in a great mood traveling and always in like the most annoying mother. I'm like, okay, guys, we're going on this hike. We're going to the ruins, blah, blah, blah. So we go up, we take our pictures, do all the stuff. And immediately upon leaving, I'm like, okay, let's take this shortcut. So I turned down into the woods and I'm just trucking because it's, you're down. I mean, it's, and it's really woody, but I'm trucking down. I think my youngest son is right behind me and we're trucking down. I think my oldest son was somewhere a little bit behind me, but not much. Josh was like way, way, way, way back up the mountain. So we get down and then we're kind of sitting on this like pedestrian street because the place where we were was so old, the street was not wide enough for cars. It was just a pedestrian street. So we're just sitting there waiting on him. He comes barreling down about 10 minutes later, screaming at the top of his lungs. Where did you go, Jennifer? We're supposed to stay together as a family. we you guys you just barrel down so fast we should have stayed together on that mountain as a family i can't believe you did that we're a family i immediately start busting laughing i'm like cracking up because although we are a family the four of us and we are a posse and we are a squad we are not the family that screams uh we are a family especially fucking josh especially that twat selectively choose because he had a like acting like he was some national geographic photographer with all of these fucking cameras and camera lenses and he was unable to move you know stealthily through the woods like me and the boys were and he comes down he's got like leafs in his hair he is madder than a hornet and this was probably like 10 12 years ago and still to this day still to this day like if we get separated or we're at an airport and he's walking too fast or I'm walking too fast. We all go, we're supposed to stay together as a family, as a family. We're supposed to stay together as a family when we hiked down the mountain. I can just see Josh. Well, could you imagine Josh saying that like, like we're some fucking Disney family and we are a family listener, but we're not that cheesy performative. No, we're not. that's not a normal thing for him that's not a character for him totally so for him to come barreling down the mountain demanding this familial togetherness on a hike which you're always walking too fast and we should have stayed together as a family Oh my God, my cheeks hurt. That's so good. You've held that story from me my entire life. Oh my God. It was hilarious. You can call Josh and say, Jennifer, just tell me the story of y'all in Italy hiking down the mountain and that she hiked too fast and that you came down madder than a hornet because she didn't stay with you as a family. It's one thing if he would have said, Jennifer, why do you have to fucking walk so fast? My God, I'm carrying all this camera equipment. I didn't have any water. But the framing of I abandoned the family or that somehow we weren't being familial because he can't fucking hike because he had a backpack full of 95 different cameras and lenses that he did not need for this adventure. It was just the framing of it was just so manipulative and diabolical and hilarious. Okay, Carly, let's do one more. Okay, the last one is from Hannah. hello to all the legends and queens over at i've had it i had to call in for the very first time to share mine i've had it with billionaire defenders so they're usually men no surprise there they're usually broke really no surprise there either why are you as a man idolizing elon musk like elon musk from the epstein files one of the most cringe people on earth that's who you're going to go to bat for in the Instagram comments. Like it really just baffles me how people will defend billionaires with their life while getting totally fleeced by them at every turn. The bootlicking is so absurd. I've had it. Pops. First of all, I love her voice. It's very sexy and soft. And here's the thing. I will admit I am one of those people when I was not paying attention to Elon Musk, I assumed because he owned Tesla that he was smart and he cared about the environment and all of those things before I took a closer look. And I did not realize the depravity of billionaires until this whole thing. The MAGA movement exposed Christians. This administration has exposed billionaires for just being despicable. And why all these people that aren't billionaires defend them is beyond me. I don't get it. I want to get back to that you were sexually attracted to the caller's voice. Don't you think it was like a really good voice? I don't know. Let's ask the lesbian. Kylie, did you find that? Didn't you have a great voice? Eyebrow raising? It didn't. No offense to Hannah, but it didn't raise eyebrows. to me but i'm very excited that you particularly liked it i've never heard you say that about anybody else's voice pumps sexy it was very soothing i like it's sexy it was sexy and hannah you do have a great sex partner yeah what did you just what'd you say like she would be somebody to have phone sex with if you're gonna have phone sex interesting i've never had phone sex i don't know how i'm not opposed to it i just don't know how okay maybe maybe kylie can connect you with hannah and your um lesbian journey can be complete once and for all but problem is hannah we don't know if she might be straight treat right right yeah all right listener that is all we have we have our makeup show in atlanta you might check there's two matinees because they want us to do two shows and we're like as long as they're both matinees this is to make up for the bomb cyclone redo and i think it's april 4th is that right kylie kylie that is right jam here kylie is my hair colorist kylie is the executive producer um and there might be a few scattered tickets in there is there kylie i think there's a few you could still snag if you were quick all right and other than that we'll see you next tuesday and thursday I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called iHip News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw! That's it. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Thank you.