Hannah Brown (Pt 2): “Love Stars with YOU!” How to How to Attract and Be the Love You Need!

Coming up in this incredible part two episode with Hannah Brown. So in a little over a month, I will be married. I remember telling him I am messed up. So do you want to do this? And he was like, yeah. We met on the dating app. Which dating app was this? We were on a date. It's been so sweet to have somebody choose you at your very worst. And continue to choose you. It makes me emotional. And I've seen him at his worst too. Adam lost his job unexpectedly. And that's really when it was like super hard for both of us. Because I had never seen him, you know, get upset and shake it over something. When was that? This was like right when we got engaged. The most in love I've ever felt has been sitting on a couch and counseling with my partner and being able to like hear his hurt, hear those beliefs that you know, you know, like the person that you love, you never want them to hurt. But they would be there and hold their hand while they're like going through that like hard moment in their childhood. Do you ever leave it and you're just like, I'm exhausted? All the time. Me too. Me too. I leave it like I need Oreos or something. Oh my gosh. I'm exhausted. We're always like, okay, we need to just veg out after this and watch Bachelor. Hold. Yeah. Watch Bachelor in Paradise. Hold hands, but not talk anymore. Just not talk. Yeah. Did you live together at first? We lived together when we... You tell us about this and then you chose to live apart until you got married. Yes. Okay. I was just questioning a lot about life, faith, where life had led me with our beliefs and being really true to what we believed. We just decided like, hey, we're going to do this differently and we can always change. I don't have to be anymore or any less for what is for me. I don't have to be anymore than I just am to be used. Hand them round. I don't have to be anymore or less to have what is for me. And I don't have to be anymore to be used. Mm-mm. Hallelujah to that. That is... It feels good, right? Like it feels true. Feels true. Feels true. Yes. And so if it takes hour by hour reminding myself, I try to do it. So beautiful. You know her from The Bachelorette, Dancing with the Stars, Bachelor in Paradise, and also as a two-time New York Times bestselling author, People's Choice Award winner and so much more. Hannah Brown is here today and I am so excited as she's not only a light, she's also a true force. Hannah's incredible authenticity, raw, real honesty, and beautiful vulnerability has garnered her more than four and a half million followers on social media, where she advocates for mental health awareness and emphasizes the importance of self-love. She currently lives in Nashville with her fiancee, Adam and dog, Wally, and she also has a brand new book out now called The Four Engagement Rings of Sybil Rain. And whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kern-Lee-Michel podcast family. Thank you so much for being here and can you take two seconds and do me a favor and hit the subscribe or follow button on the app that you're listening or watching on? Thank you so much. It truly means so much to me. You can also get inspiration right into your inbox from me for free. You can join my newsletter community at JamieCurranLee-Michel.com. Also, this incredible podcast episode today, it's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know who might need some inspiration today or perhaps a boost in their self-belief because what you're about to hear can truly impact mine, yours, and their life too. Welcome to Jamie Kern-Lee-Michel. Oprah, how have you defied the odds? Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug, but your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow, Melinda French Gates. When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. I could see the light around her. She's infused with light. Imagine overcoming self-doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern-Lee-Michel. Jamie Kern-Lee-Michel's her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern-Lee-Michel in their life. Jamie Kern-Lee-Michel. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern-Lee-Michel. You are engaged. Your wedding is coming up. Can you tell us about your fiance, your life? Time to come, all of it. In a little over a month, I will be married, which is so wild because our love story has been so sweet, but we've done a lot of healing together. It's been really cool. I met Adam kind of right after my life went upside down. I've alluded earlier, I was really struggling and I had a lot of healing to do. I remember he just continued to pursue me. When I first met him, I thought he was great and we had a great date, but I was not in that mental space of looking for my forever. I sometimes felt guilty about that because there wasn't this moment that some people knew immediately. I didn't. I want to say that that's okay. I remember telling him, he was so pursuing at my heart and I was like, I am messed up. Do you want to do this? He was like, yeah. It has been a ride. It has come with challenges, but it's been so sweet to have somebody choose you at your very worst. Continue to choose you. It makes me emotional. I've seen him at his worst too. To continue to say, I'm going to be here. I'm not even like you right now, but I'm not going to give up on you. That has really been so beautiful and so healing for me. I'm like, Sybil, a lot of my past relationships, Sybil in my book, made me question the commitment of love, which is funny from the girl that was on the reality dating show that ends with an engagement. I realized that I had a lot of deep fears around commitment in general. My season didn't work out. There was definitely other people at fault in that, but there was probably some things I needed to heal on my own. To have somebody and be able to heal in relationship and know somebody's like, I'm going to be here with you through it. I'm going to understand where these hurts and feelings come from has been so cool. I look back at the beginning of our journey and we've been able to rewrite our love story of like, wow, it might have not been like, oh my gosh, I know he's the one. I came home and said, I'm going to marry him, but it has been so sweet and day by day continuing to choose each other and see that light in each other and speak reassurances and appreciations over each other. That's also been with a lot of community there to support us. It's so sweet that we're now coming here in a month to be able to celebrate all the love and all the hard work, good work that we've done to be able to get to that moment. I'm just so thankful for a partner who has a growth mindset. I think that's one of the most important thing when people are asking about like, who should I be with or, you know, this is hard. And it's like, why is it hard? Because it's hard to grow and to change and to make decisions to be better because it's uncomfortable, but that's the good hard work. And if you have somebody who's willing to say, yeah, I want to do that work with you, I think that's always a person that you should pursue and be, you know, it might not be your part, but that is like, that is what I think is something that is like number one for me that I have a partner that has a growth mindset that's going to continue to grow and change with me. So I'm just excited to be able to celebrate that and be able to look back on this conversation in this moment in our lives 20 years from now and be so proud of this girl, but also be like a whole new version of myself or the partner that's a whole new version of himself. And yeah, that's just it's been really sweet to grow and change with someone and be able to celebrate. Did you guys meet on a dating app? We met on a dating app. Which dating app was it? We were on Hinge. On Hinge. Yeah. With with when you say you both have really gone through healing. Is he very open about his healing journey to? He wasn't at first. He kind of was, you know, I was the one that was so emotional and was really going through it. And I think he took on the role of being like the rock and the strong person. But after a while, you can't fully always attach to somebody who's trying to be so strong all the time. And he had to have that realization of like, I've got to fully show her who I am, which I think so many men, they're kind of drilled into them to be that way that they have, they can't show emotion, have to be strong at all times. And sometimes, at least for me, it was like, I need to know that you also feel these emotions too, that I'm not crazy, that you also have moments of feeling scared or anxious or have fear of the future. And it was he, I needed that. And we kind of, that became a little bit of a friction. And I was like, I'm going to need you. I know I need to change and I need to work through some of the trauma of my past. But I also need you to like show me that you also get it and go on this journey of growing and healing together. And man, has he it's been, it's so cool to have somebody just completely change the way that they believe they have to show up. And he's still strong and he's still a leader, but he's more vulnerable. He's more vulnerable with me than the beginning of our relationship. So it's been really cool to see. And that's sometimes come from going through hard things. Adam lost his job unexpectedly. And that's really when it was like super hard for both of us because I never seen him, you know, get upset and shake it over something. When was that? This was like right when we got engaged. So it was also like this big commitment jump. Hit. We, we've moved to Nashville and then we had this like, you know, any, especially for a man, I think sometimes your identity is so attached to your job. And so that was really tough. And we needed some help to be able to navigate how to do that. And that's really where all of our growth has come from. It's like a hard moment. And he, he couldn't be the rock that he had been for so long. He needed me to be able to support him, but to be able to support him, I needed him to show me where he was so I could meet him there. And so that's what I mean by when he kind of had to start going on his own healing and growth journey. Um, and when we got to do it together and that's been so cool. The most in love I've ever felt has been sitting on a couch and counseling with my partner and being able to like hear his hurt, hear those beliefs that, you know, you know, like the person that you love, you never want them to hurt, but do you have to be there and hold their hand while they're like going through that like hard moment in their childhood. And that is, that is so connecting to be able to see somebody and know that you're like creating a safe haven for them. Um, so yeah, it's been really cool to be able to like have someone that's also willing to do that work with you and show up. So we love couples therapy. We love counseling. We think everyone should do it. Do you ever leave it and you're just like, I'm exhausted all the time. Me too. Me too. I leave it like I need Oreos or something. Oh my gosh. I'm exhausted. We're like, we're like a hangover after, but it's, it's because you're, you're connecting all the dots and you're being able to be like, Oh, this is why I should, I reacted this way to this thing this week. It's like such a bear story. Yeah. Then you know, but then to be able to have a partner there that's also being able to, you don't have to go back home to tell them what you just found out in therapy, but they're with, they're with you and can regulate with you. It's so awesome. But yeah, we're always like, okay, we need to just veg out after this and watch bachelor, watch bachelor in paradise, hold hands, but not talk anymore. Just not talk. Yeah. Um, what, so did you, okay. I want to understand the actual situation. So did you got, when did you guys move to Nashville? We moved to Nashville in 2023. Okay. And then did you live together at first? We lived together when we, you tell us about this and then you chose to live apart until you got married. Yes. Okay. So yes. Yeah. So, um, when we first met, like I said, I was not in, I felt really lonely. I was really struggling with, I think kind of a little mad at God that things didn't go the way that I thought they wanted to be. I was just questioning a lot about life, faith, where life had led me. I felt like I was also a little bit jaded. There was a lot going on. Um, that I was trying to sift through. And, um, Adam was also like, had really gotten deep into his spirituality at the time and was searching. I think we were both searching. And, um, we moved in together and like early in our relationship, I'd never lived with somebody before and it was great. Like we had, we, we enjoyed it. And, um, ended up moving to Nashville together, which was like a huge commitment. We're like, all right, we're going to do it because Adam has some family in Tennessee and my family is in Alabama. So it was just a, a choice of, okay, we're going to move. We're going to start making next steps in our life when it comes to coming a family, we've been talking about that. Um, and right around that time, we had started going back to church together and really like diving into what do we actually believe. And it, it was amazing. It was so connecting and has been so connecting and really getting aligned on what our values are because I had never actually sat down with and made like a clear cut, like these are my values, like a clear cut list of what my values were. And we just got more aligned on what our values were and what was the most important thing to us and, um, what faith meant to us. And, um, in the season of life that we were in and just with our beliefs and being really true to what we believe, we just decided like, Hey, we're going to do this differently and we can always change. And we were looking at buying a house. And so we bought a house and decided that when we bought that house, that that was going to be our house that would be our marital house that we are going to be husband and wife in. And don't get me wrong. It was really hard to make that decision. And, um, we had lived together for a while before, but it, it brought so much peace. And we had so many people in our lives in our community that knew us and, um, really just were so supportive of that decision. We still like see each other every day, um, but it's made our time really intentional every moment that we're together. Um, because we don't just have all those in between moments. We're both working. We both have things that we participate in communities that we're a part of separately and together. And so when we're together, it just, we're really preparing for our marriage and what we want in our marriage and what we want to be the number one value. And that's just different than it was before. And that's okay. And I think as you grow in different areas of your life, it's always okay to change. And that's what we did. And to write your own rules and write our own rules. Yeah. And, um, it's been really sweet. And I really have felt like God has used this as such a blessing for us. And it kind of brings back this excitement about, um, you know, after we get married, that, that we'll have almost as like giddy feelings that some couples have that have never lived together. We, we kind of have had a few months of, of not being with each other every moment. Um, so yeah, I'm really excited about it. And it's been cool. And it's also been cool to realize that we're not the only ones that have ever done this before who have, you know, decided that in the season of life that they're in and their beliefs have changed and this feels like the best situation. So it's been really cool to also find so much support from other people, um, that are encouraging us. And so it's been cool, but. It's really cool. It's almost some, cause a lot of people are like, if something's not going well, then they, then they like, and you're like, Oh, it's going so great. Yeah. We're actually going to really write out our values and how do I feel? What, how are we going to do this? The most intentionally that we can, that feels true to us to make sure everything that we in our life is in alignment. Yeah. And sometimes it, it makes it, it makes you make changes. And so yeah, that, that was kind of the thought process behind it all. You live in the house now. I live in the house. Okay. And then he'll move in and he'll move in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now that you guys have made that decision, how does it feel? It feels good. I think we were both actually separately. Well, I know this. We were both kind of thinking about it. And then had like a moment where we had the conversation and it just felt like peace, like, yeah, this, this just feels right for us right now. And, um, since then, like it's been great. I mean, there, don't get me wrong. There are moments where I'm like, I miss you and I, I just want to be able to like cuddle and you stay over. And there's definitely those moments, but we just believe in, um, the promises that we made in that, and it's been great. And I know that God will bless it. Was it like a faith based? Definitely. It, this was all, this was not just something we decided. It was definitely something, um, that was grounded in faith and just what felt right for us. When you, um, shared that, you know, you were both kind of on, um, faith journeys or you were, you said you were, you know, frustrated at God, some of the outcomes that didn't go your way. He was starting a spiritual journey. Um, do you feel now like where are you both at with that? With your journey? Yeah, I think we both like committed to, for us, like, we need to pause for a super brief break. And while we do take a moment to share this episode with every single person that you know, who this could inspire, because this conversation can truly be the words and inspiration they need to hear today to keep going, to remember that they matter and to feel less alone and more enough, more connected and more worthy in life. You don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results. Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love. Unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you are born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter. That's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to JamieKernleama.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at JamieKernleama.com or in the link in the show notes. Do you struggle with negative self-talk living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting? I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you. If this is something that could benefit your life, it's called five ways to overcome negative self-talk and build self-love. And it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self-talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life. One filled with self-love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams. You can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at JamieKernleama.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below. And now more of this incredible conversation together. When you shared that, you know, you were both kind of on faith journeys or you were, and he said you were, you know, frustrated at God, some of the outcomes that didn't go your way. He was starting a spiritual journey. Um, do you feel now like where are you both at with that? With your journey? Yeah, I think we both like committed to, for us, like deep belief in Jesus and just like studying scripture every day. And it's so cool to be able to do that with your person. You know, I grew up, um, Christian and Adam didn't. So it's been cool to be able to like see him completely, like make those decisions on his own and then kind of lead me because I was having such a hard time. I'd felt really lost and then to watch him grow in his faith, it like helped me come back to this place that has given me such a sense of peace that I want everyone to be able to have that moment to feel. So it's so cool how God will use people in your life at certain times. And so yeah, that's where every, all these new changes, decisions, values come from is just getting so much clear about what that means to us. And everybody's, um, journey to that is different, but it's felt so good to be aligned together. Hmm. I love that so much. I pray every day that God brings the right people in my life and has the wrong ones leave, even if I don't want them to leave. Even if it's someone on our team or if it's somebody, a friend or whatever. Yeah. Just try to trust it. Same with the show. I pray that he brings the right guests on the show and that, um, you know, and I trust that and how beautiful that maybe your partner that was, you know, in a different spot ends up being the one that brings me even closer. Um, that's powerful. It's, it has been really powerful. It's so good. So good. So good. So good. Um, one of my favorite things ever is seeing what I already called out earlier, which is just when so much light is coming from someone's eyes. Sometimes I'll look at things that have happened in my life. And I am like, holy moly. Like, yes, I worked really hard. Um, but I have parents that worked really, really, really hard. They didn't have things happen to them. Like what I meant, do you ever, do you, do you look at all of the incredible experiences you had, how many people Hannah Brown that you are able to impact on a daily basis, you're, you know, online, you're talking, you know, with your mental health advocacy, with your talks about self love, with your talk, with the things that you share, you impact so many people, all of the experiences that you have, do you believe your life is divinely orchestrated? Do you believe that you have favor? How do you reconcile? Yeah. How do you reconcile all those? I think I've always felt like there was favor and blessing on my life. I think everybody has that. I do. Um, I think everyone has it, but, but maybe it doesn't recognize it. Right. Right. Right. Like you listening right now, you have it. You have it. Have it. And it's going to look different for everyone. Yeah. Um, I think sometimes what I struggle with to be, to be honest is sometimes I feel like, Oh, am I going to miss the next calling or it's, is there more? And I had this moment this past week of like, I don't have to be any more or less. Yeah. Like it's, it's the calling that is, it's for me. I have to be ready and open and do the work to be able to step into that next. Yes. Or that next path that might feel scary or I don't know God. How was that? How was that for me? So there, there is part of that that I have to take accountability for, but I don't have to be any more or any less for what is for me. And I really struggle. I have struggled. That has been my struggle because I always feel like I need to do more, be more, you know, I really need to step into this season more, but there's a reason why there's been moments where the waters have been crashing and so much has been going around around me. And there's been moments where, you know, there's just a slight rock of the waves. And sometimes I don't like that. I want to be going fast. I want to get, I want, I want there to be so much going out one time, but sometimes there's seasons where you're just supposed to be in some calm water. That's always the hardest for me. I like for, I like there to be so much going on, but there's, there's a reason for every season in life. And I don't have to, to be any more than I just am to be used. Hand it around. I don't have to be any more or less to have what is for me. And I don't have to be any more to be used. Hallelujah to that. That is, it feels good, right? Like it feels true. Feels true. Feels true. Yes. And so if it takes hour by hour, reminding myself, I try to do it. So beautiful. You are changing lives today on the show like you do every day. I want everyone right now to go and grab the four engagement rings of civil rain and tune into bachelor in paradise this summer. And I get to tell Paolo, I have to tune in. Hannah's on my show. You have to. It's she's she's my friend. She might have to. I have to watch every single. I'm working. And you have to watch it too. You have to watch it too. It's funny. There's things you shared earlier. I'm like, so many women are going to be like, like sending that part to their partner to play when you're like, you know, when you're talking about in therapy and the most you've ever been in love. So beautiful. You know how you're saying like, uh, we were talking about divine favor and just like the course of your life. I feel like the bachelors bachelorette, it's like a fairy tale the whole time. Yeah. And I feel like God allowed me to have the opportunity to now be able to talk about where what relationships have taught me now. Um, cause people have followed me because of my love story and it followed me on this journey and there's so much that, um, there's so much that's beautiful about the bachelor bachelorette and, and falling in love there. But everybody goes home after the show and there's always more work to be done when your relationship, your partner is one of the most important people in your lives and it's a relationship that needs to be tended to and cared for. And sometimes you don't just like know how to do that. Yeah. You don't just like know how to co-regulate to be able to do life with another imperfect human and it can look beautiful and so perfect on a movie or a TV show. But there everyone has hard seasons. It has to learn and grow together. And so I'm so thankful that I get to like continue to share like what I've learned with a partner who's been willing to learn with me to be able to share with other people. Um, so it's cool. And similarly, how that works know how to love ourselves. No, we don't just know. And what a blessing you're also in parallel. You're sharing your own journey of that as well. Cause everyone's on that journey. If you're listening right now and you're like, is something wrong with me? But I still don't feel enough. No, you're pretty much just like all of us. You're just normal. Yeah. All in that journey to learning that we are enough. It can feel so lonely, but having conversations like this, I know even for me, when I hear other people and like I'm coming to tune into your show, it always just feels good to just know that like everybody has something that they're having to learn and a struggle that they're having to overcome. And there are some universal ones that were all on the journey and some days look better than others, but maybe this, this finds you at the right time when you're having a harder day to be able to encourage you that you're not alone. And it gets better. And that's what I always look for. So I'm happy to be a part of a space that does that. So thank you for having me. Thank you so much for being here. Remember this episode's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know, because it can impact and change their life too. And if you love today's episode, please click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on your app. You're listening to it on or watching it on. And if it added value to your life, if you could please give it a rating or review. I'd be so grateful. And again, please share it with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Maybe it's someone, you know, who needs to truly believe in themselves and build their own self-love. And please post the episode and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I wanted to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world. And it is an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are. Heal where you need. Blossom what you choose. Journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like. Because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love. I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show. In life, you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, worthy. How to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthy book.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with worthy who you spend time around. It's so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter. That's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to JamieKernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at JamieKernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. And please note I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.