C03 - Ep. 26 - From On Hyra - Up to Shananigans

The Stinky Dragon vinyl is here! For the month of March, we're dropping the first ever Stinky Dragon vinyl album! This limited edition record happens to feature all of your favorite hits, like Step Into The Stinky Dragon, Introducing The Infanites, Sleek Symphony, and even the high octane, Smarsh's still king! It's the ultimate way to experience the saga of The Infanites and glorious analog. I'm so excited you get a physical piece of media, but don't wait! When it's gone, it's gone! Go order yours now at store.stinkydragonpod.com. Grab yours before the music stops! Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run, and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand. Marketing tools that get your products out there. Integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time, from startups to scale-ups, online, in person, and on the go. Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Taliesin Jaffe. Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like growing pains in films like Mr. Mom. In our podcast Weird Kids, we're diving deep into our unique upbringings, our friendship with each other, and all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode, we get to share stories of our youth, the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face, and occasionally, the friends we've collected along the way. If you're a misfit, an outcast, or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week, we'll be releasing previously members-only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms, with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad-free on Beacon.tv. Complements to all you Fragoths, climb into the sneaky dragon and knock back our latest liquid, four scorn and seven years ago. It's a mixture of lemon-lime spite, old resent mint leaves, grieve and scream tea bags, stewed sugar, and topped with diced sour grapes. One gulp of this gilt-redding grog, and you'll still remember what they did last summer. Previously, our adventurers recalled their resurfacing from the Saline Sea thanks to the Sea Drinker and learned some long distance New Order lore. They flash forwarded into the fray of today and wafered their way to the Untamed Flame Forge, but what was a welcome wagon sharp turn to a showdown with Shannon? Latch on to our libation and let's leap into our lore. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Sticky Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master Gustavo Sarola, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. There it is. You could just ask us a question. I think I'm going to be the Dungeon Master for the day. I'm going to challenge your authority, Gus. And today I will be the Dungeon Master. Let's put it up for a vote. Everyone raise your hand if you want Blaine to be Dungeon Master. I, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, go for it. Welcome to Tales from the Sticky Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master, Blaine Gibson, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. P P P you. Bantar, funny Bantar. All right, let's roll this stupid dice. All right, roll a D20. Let's figure out five, 18. Can't wait for Blaine's tavern tale whenever that is, where he gets to actually be the DM. Dude, it's coming. I came up with a box knife. We should have modifiers to this roll. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. The tradition continues. Maddie trips and falls and takes three points of damage. I'll take it. I rolled an eight. Micah put in chat, BM Blaine master, but I thought he put bowel movement. That's a BM. Looks like we got Gunther with an 18, Doug with a 17, Natty with an eight and Toll with a five. All right. So, oh, I didn't even ask the question. You distracted me with your BM. If you won the lottery, what would you do with your money? And that was suggested by, but it's like four names on here. That's a short question to be submitted by four people. Lorena Hempel, Werwin, Fred Jordan and loose goose. I think some of those are real names in some of them aren't the third, the third loose goose, the third. If you won the lottery, what would you do with your money? And we're starting off with Gunther. I'm Chris Meris. I play Gunther the fighter. If I won the lottery, I would hire so many spies and investigators to find the Eden who attacked my village. And then I would track him down and take matters into my own hands and hopefully not die. I don't know that that would cost what you would earn from winning the lottery. I saw a billboard. I think you could get that pretty affordably done. There's a lady in Waco. She can do it for a couple of thousand maybe. Investigate. I always see your signs like private eyes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, Vengeance got it. Remind me to never get on Gunther's bad side. Gunther, you're wonderful. Thank you for answering the question. And you're definitely honing in. You have that one true purpose. And I hope we get to go on this journey with you, Gunther. Next up, we've got Doug with a 17. Hello. I'm Barbara Donkelman and I play Doug Boone, the male bugbear artificer level six. And you know, I've done a lot and how it is. I would win the lottery, what I would do. First, I would take a portion of it and put it into my investment account. Smart. Like an IRA? Exactly. And I don't know if like the Motalion has like a 401k or if they do like matching or anything like that. But I probably invest a little bit into that. And then I think I would spend the rest on my very own Batcave. You know, like an underground laboratory with all my inventions and, you know, maybe get a little butler myself, maybe a Batwell, maybe a guy named Quifley, perhaps. And just really, you know, build it out. Make it pretty cool down now. Why underground? Because that's what the Batcave is. Yeah. But that's because that's Batman's theme. I'm just curious how that pertains to Doug's persona because they're a bug bear. Yes, it's a cave. Caves are typically, you know, below surfaces. Okay. Yeah. I just, then I would say a bear cave, not a Batcave. No, I'm a big fan of Batman. So I just wanted to know, is Doug a fan of Batman? And that's why then that works. Yeah, I'm Doug Boone. That's what I'll say when we're looking for your wife, Gonto. Where is she? I know where she is. She is at my home. Oh, okay. Easy. Exactly where you left her. Yes. Doug, would you evict the bats or would they stay in there with you? Well, I understand the confusion, Gustavo. There's no actual Batcave. It's an unlimited cave. Yeah. So it's just a cave. Exactly. And I am the Batman. Okay. Micah suggests maybe you could just line the walls with baseball bats. I see. Yeah. Self-defense. Yeah. It's like a vintage collection or something. All right, Doug, thank you for the journey. We went on there. You're very welcome. The puzzle that we I thought it was pretty straightforward. It was. Lot of follow up questions. Next up, we have, I believe, Natty with an eight. Howdy y'all. It's John Reisinger and I play Natty Wunder, the Drow Warlock, Drag Queen, mother of the harbinger of the apocalypse. Nope. Just a little demon that wants to end everything. If I were to get the lottery and become filthy, filthy rich, I would do probably one of two things. I'd either one, put it into some sort of trust for Gigi to be able to access when he is older and mature enough to use funds in a responsible way. So it might never be touched as just a joke. I love my little baby. It might take a long while. I honestly, I probably just donated all to my mama's temple back in my hometown, just because, you know, they could always use more funds to like, you know, help the temple or help the community around them or, you know, just do anything like that. I just trust them with the money instead. So the church thermometer would fill up completely and then explode at the top. No more car washes. They could, they'd be all good. New rec center and new rec area. Yeah. Somehow that really tracks. I don't know what I would have expected from you, Natty, but that seems, that seems right. That seems to go totally in with what, uh, what I would expect. What do I need to be rich for? Yeah. Well, you know, if you want that cave or something, you know, I'll cost a lot of money. Well, actually as a drought, I would lack an underground cave. So it actually makes sense. Do a lot of your family play the lottery? Natty, you got a, you got a proud lottery playing tradition. No, we don't have the lottery in my community. I had a quick to look it up on, on a, one of Doug's little handheld devices, what the lottery was. Interesting. Okay. Yes. I have a handheld device that explains what the lottery is. And that's the only function of that handheld device. It's called a wiki dug. Ah, wiki dug here. All right. Cool. Thanks. And last up with a five. We've got told, Hey, it's Blaine your dungeon master. I also play told the male Thaumatech barbarian. I need to update my character sheet. How do we know this now? I know it's just admiral. I'll do it later. Talk to you next. Noxine. See the problem. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. The Blaine Gibson way. And I play told you who it's me told and Gustavo so many questions that I must ask. I mean, are we talking scratch offs or power ball? What money amount are we talking about? We're talking, uh, let's, let's put it in the power ball range. Oh, lots of money. Yeah. Scratchers are, are a lot of money, but a different tier. Yeah. Not like the same level of life changing. Okay. Several things. First of all, I would hire a series of private investigators to find the rest of my family. That's like maybe 0.2% of the winnings. That's really not expensive. So I don't know what Gunther's doing. Uh, and then after that, I think I would take care of my friends, you know, I'd give them a little bit of cash and, uh, you know, make sure that they're well taken care of. And then I would do that anonymously though, because you do not want them to come back and say, Oh, I spent all of this money. Please give me more. Yeah. And then I would get it like a personal finance guide to tell me exactly how much I want to keep for having a good comfy lifestyle. And then I would donate the rest because there's no good billionaires and no, no one person needs all of that money. It's stupid. I agree. You can't spell agreed without agreed. It seems like it's, it's, I do find it a little strange that two of our, uh, party members went the private investigator route. So it's, it's, it's, it's, it tells a lot about, uh, what we got going on here. We're lazy. We don't want to be the adventure cells or just so dedicated to the mission at hand that you guys, uh, you know, want to hire out to do other things that you need done. You're right. And as we all know, subcontracting and firing advisors or whatever, that's the way to do it. To spread out work so that it is done more efficiently. Yeah. I love to what we're talking about. I'm making a joke about how, uh, nevermind. What were we I just remember we got a lot, a lot of, had a lot of funny money sitting out to contractors for silly things. And, uh, I could have gone to like lovely shows like tails from sticky dragon. Anyways, that's corporate America for you, dude. I never heard of her. She's a drag queen. Corporate America. That's actually a great drink. I was going to say that's a great drag queen name. I hope she's got a, a monocle before we dive into this episode. Let's clarify. I think we had, we had talked a little bit about who team leader was and joked a little bit about it at last episode. I want to make sure we're all on the same page. So where are we at team leader wise? It was me and Doug playing hot potato with responsibilities. Yeah. I mean, go ahead, swap it up as much as you want. I vote for Nadi. I vote for Nadi. I give my votes to Nadi. Okay. I vote third party. Okay. Gunther's throwing his away. All right. I guess, I guess I'm team leader. I'm going to write that in my note. All right. This looks like the place. Gunther, are you ready to see your aunt? Yes, I'm very anxious to talk to her. Hello. Gunther calls out hello and the door slowly opens, revealing thickly built, youthful looking ode. The smell of smoke comes out from the building and you see some smoke appear behind her. She is clad in obsidian iron, like a combination of obsidian and iron. She looks at you for and says, I am Shannon, you can swing breaker. Who are you? I am Gunther boot guess windbreaker. Gunther boot guess windbreaker. I'm guard. She leaps forward and attacks you. What? Shannon flies through the air with grace towards Gunther. She unsheaths a thick foil midair made of blackened metal like that of her armor. As she descends her beefy thowed legs and free arms shove your companions aside. Doug, Nadi and Tolls, make me dexterity saving throws. I have advantage on this. 11. 12. Curricle fail into 12. So I'll take that 12. Okay. Those were not great dexterity saves. So all three of you fall to the ground knocked prone by Shannon as she shoves you aside and you get a boo boo on your bum. You take five points of bludgeoning damage. This girl hit us hard. Can I use a shield as a reaction for that or is it probably not worth it? Sure. I'll take it. Just take it. Was I raging? No. Okay. Shannon lands with surprisingly light feet and points her blade at Gunther's leather clad chest. I said on guard. Why do you want to fight? Rather than answer that question, I'm going to explain the duel mechanic to you. So we're going to have like a duel minigame between Shannon and Gunther here. And it's kind of like rock, paper, scissors. So there'll be three rounds and each round both duelists secretly choose one action to perform. During the duel, both duelists can move as they wish, applying magical effects that items may have, but there will be no bonus actions, reactions, or spells. So the three options you get, much like rock, paper, scissors, you can either push, parry, or faint. Push it and not like that. Push beats faint, parry beats push, and faint beats parry. And then there's special conditions for ties, which we can go over as we go through. You sure you want to do this with Chris the first time? Parry the basketballs. I could see his eyes gloss over already. I sent him the things. And so as Shannon, you know, pulls out her weapon and is pointing it at Gunther, Private Parts starts elbowing you in the ribs, Natty. What, Private? Do you want to make a wage run he's going to win? Yeah. Why not? Let's have some fun. How much do you want to bet? I don't know. I looked at my gold in a while. I'm going to bet everything. I'm going to bet everything. You're going to bet everything? I'm going to bet everything. 172 gold. Oh my God. On who? On Gunther. Oh, surprising. All right, Chris, stakes are high. Don't mess this up. Wow, that's a lot of money. Okay. Private Parts scribbles it down on his notepad. Are you good for that, Private? All right, wait, I'm believing. Are you good for that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to need to send Gigi after you if you lose. Oh, no, no, no. You know where I live. Yeah, I do. Actually, I don't. Where do you live? We haven't talked at all about your background. For an entrance, just like you. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, let's see how this goes. Private Parts then walks over to Tole and says, Hey, Tole, if you want to get in on this, you and Natty are betting on the duel. I think I will kindly pass. I am not too much of a gambler. Oh, you don't have any money? Okay. I have more money than Natty and certainly we'll after Gunther loses. Hey, you know, go big or go home. You know, what's the money good for if I'm not here tomorrow? I don't know, spending it on armor and equipment. Natty learned what the lottery is and she's all in on gambling now. Yeah, I mean, I said I didn't know what the lottery was. I didn't say that Natty didn't know what gambling was. There's a lot of forms of gambling. Yeah. And Natty had that stint on a riverboat doing entertainment. It is true. All right. There's a lot of gambling there. Yep. Private Parts will move on to Doug. Hey, Doug, you want to put some money on this? Is gambling legal here? I know in some places it's not in some places it is. It's kind of a gray area. Oh, it's okay here. It's just between friends. Sure. Why not? You know, take a chance. Try a little something risky once in a while, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let your fur down. Okay, okay. Don't let him heal me. Say this, I think I'm going to bet on Shannon. Ooh, how much? She seems pretty, you know, she did knock us all down in one fell swoop. So it's pretty foul. It's very true. She's beefy. I'm going to bet one gold. Penny Sloth's kind of guy. I got you. Oh, okay. Yeah, I could match that. Yeah, I got you. Private Parts writes that down. All right. Getting back to the dual mechanic. So I'm going to give everyone kind of a job here, since this is a duel between Shannon and Gunther. Doug, I'm going to ask you to keep score. And you're going to ask for the reveal of the moves each round. Okay. So to keep things fair between Gus and Chris, the actual humans here who are playing the game, what's going to happen is, Chris, you're going to send Blaine your tactic for the round. And I'm going to send John my tactic for the round. And when Barbara calls for them, those people are going to reveal what we sent them. So we're your managers. Yeah. Okay. And remind me what beats what, like all the different outcomes of the game. You got it. Push beats faint. Perry beats push and faint beats Perry. Oh my God. I started to write these in my notes and immediately wrote Bush beats fain. Like George W. Bush. Yeah. Everyone good? Yes. Chris just sent me a picture of my house and said, don't mess this up. I don't know what that means. Let's do this. Yeah. Shannon points her foil up in front of her face and then brings it down and lunges at you, Gunther. Send your move to Blaine and I'll send mine to John. It has been sent to I not wish to fight you. Okay. I got it. And then Barbara, it's on Doug to call for the moves. All right, everyone. Let's have a clean match here. All right. Don't go and blow the belt or above the waist. Wait a minute. So there's a thin line right at the waist belt. I like to think Doug brings down one of those like wrestler announcer mics. We're going to clean fight here in one corner. Gunther windbreaker. Stonebreaker. What is it? Is it windbreaker? Gunther boot cast windbreaker. There you go. And in the other corner, Shannon. Yay, Shannon. Go, Shannon. Whoa, it's a lovely day out here at Mega Level of Stadia. We got our two big contenders in the green corner and in the green corner. All right. We're going to have a clean match of Push, Faint, Perry. That's just, I literally was watching the Teenage Me Ninja Charles movie this morning. Oh. I know you guys are frogs, but still, I watched that last week. There you go. Nice. It's a good one. Holds up. All right. Are we ready? In three, two, one, go. Push, Faint. Push beats Faint. Oh, dang it. I'm on Gus's. I don't want that. I don't want Gus to win. Does it help that Christmas spelled Faint, like the Fainting Faint? So Push beats Faint. So Gunther tries to move his rapier to pretend to attack, but Shannon sees right through it and with her beefy arm, pushes forward and shoves Gunther straight in the chest. Best two out of three. Gus, I want to bring Gunther back into my corner of the ring, and I'm going to pat him down with some ice and he'll say, okay, Gunther, how many fingers am I holding up? How many? I can see five. No, that's six. There was one. Yeah. There's six fingers. You missed the other hand. He had the other one behind his back, to be fair. Okay. I think on this one, I think you should, I think you should push. Push. You should push. Oh, head games. All right. Round one of that goes to Shannon, not looking good for Natty in her bed. This fight is brought to you by your sponsor, it's Frog Juice, drinking your delicious swamp water with the zesty yummy taste of Frog Juice. All right, back to our fighters in the ring. All right. So let's move on. Doug, I know you're trying to move it along, but yeah, you are correct. Let's move on to round two. Round two. Is it best two out of three or how we playing here? Yeah, we're going to go three rounds. Yeah. The ring girl is entered in with a billboard that says number two. It is a mosquito. Carrying his son. I'm trying to make this like a boxing match. I like it. I like it. In our DM chat, Ben was saying, that would be private parts, holding up the round numbers. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's better. I thought you were about to make a number two joke, like poop. Oh no, no. Sounds like nice. No, we are above that kind of humor here at Stinky Dragon. Yeah, I did just direct a video about Natty having poop and covering her and telling us. Shut up, BM. Soon. I have Shannon's move. I'm good. I got Chris's. Who's Chris? I got Goonther. Oh no, no. I got Goonther's. All right, round two. Shannon could take it all right for you right now. Let's find out what happens. Dual in three, two, one. Hit it. Push. Faint. No. Uh-oh. Once again, Shannon suspects that Goonther is once again going to try the same maneuver and avoid combat. So she once again charges headlong in with a mighty push and shoves Goonther. And let's do the third round anyway. Why not? See how bad he could lose? I'm sure a little bit more than one goal now that he can. After pushing you, Shannon takes a step back, looks at you, Goonther, and says, Show me your skills, young crook folk. And then charges in again. My skills are not to fight you, Auntie. Auntie. All right. Now there's really no point in doing the third round. He knows that I'm seeing Shannon completely obliterated. Gun though. But why not? Because we said we'd do three rounds of this. And we are not liars. All right. I got, I have Shannon's move. Chris's is in. All right. The final dual in three, two, one. Hit him. Faint. Perry. Yeah. It worked, Chris. You did it. It changed nothing. Well, it's top of mind. I'm equipping my shield just for future reference. OK. You both rush forward, lock weapons, and then Shannon pushes off from you. She lowers her foil and shakes her head disapprovingly. Oh, Gunther, you have much to learn. You have many tactical drawbacks and unpolished technique. Yet I see promise, raw talent. Help everyone inside. Shannon turns around and opens the door. What about the results of our betting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Private Parts begins walking around, trying to settle the score. He walks up to you, Doug. And I says, one gold. Here you go, Doug. Thank you. Private Parts hands you the one gold, Doug. This is about to start my gambling addiction. And don't spend it all in one place. How joy. If you want to be cured of your gambling addiction, come with me. We're going to talk to Daddy now. Daddy, I'm so sorry. I have failed you and myself. Private Parts walks over to Daddy, references paper, and says, OK, 172 gold, Daddy. All right. Here's all the money that a single mom has. Hands it over to Private Parts. No, you're not allowed to do that. You should have thought about your child before you swung it over. I had it over. My inventory says zero. My inventory says zero. I ain't got no money. Thank you very much. So Private, what are you going to do with your new lump? Some of cash. Hire a private investigator? Yeah, I don't know. See, Private Parts won the lottery here. We should have asked him the question during his arrow to figure that out. Listen, if we asked every NPC the arrow questions, we'd never get through the arrows. That's true. It's already long enough as is. OK, so I'm going to re-describe this building because I think I described it last episode, but I have not described it this one. Is it a beefy building? I don't get it. He kept saying beefy over and over again, describing Shannon. It's funny. The adjective in the module is thick with two C's, which I said once last episode, and I felt weird about repeating it a bunch, so I went with beefy. Yeah, because when you say thick with two C's, you go thick. Yeah. Yeah. OK, so it's a shack of a mishmash of metallic patchwork and hinges. It's unusual architectural arrangement of slanted walls and roof. There's a squeaky hanging sign that reads Untamed Flamed Forge. We've heard that before. Have we not? Oh, yeah, this is where I have a pickup order for Bjorn. Yeah, it was in the note. And yeah, you're supposed to come pick up the order from Shannon. You saw a high Shannon. I am Gunther's friend, the guy that you just attacked, and I am here to pick up an order by the name of Bjorn. Shannon turns around and invites everyone in, and you walk into an oval-shaped room. It's humid, and the floor is like a pond of water, and there's floating furniture, like lily pad seating, log beds, water lily, and lotus kitchenware. Cute. Yeah, and there appear to be two doors in this room, the front door to the west, which you walked in, and a back door to the east. And you ask about your delivery, Tolf, was that correct? Yeah, yeah. I have a note here. Here's my receipt. Tolf does not pronounce receipt. It's a character thing. Sure, thank you. Hmm, I see. You are here for the Gable of Gale Strum, then. That's the one, yep. The Gable. It's like a cool big hammer, I think. Yeah, and then as you were saying this, you know, you're looking around the room, Tolf, as Shannon is trying to retrieve your item, and a log comes floating by and hits you in the shin. Ouchies. Great place you have here. It hurts. It really stinks. After a moment, Shannon pulls out a weapon and hands it over to you, Tolf. The Gable of Gale Strum. Here. Very cool. I found it. Do you want to add it to my inventory and tell about it? Yeah, why don't you tell us about it? This heraldic warhammer is furiously forged from the anchor of the infamous ship, the Gale Strum. With a squally scream of rage, you are briefly possessed by the Sea Drinker and gain plus one to attack rolls and damage rolls until the end of your rage. It has something called Storm Strike. I get one per long rest. With the strike of your warhammer, i.e. attack, a blustery gale incites a howling rage into all the enemies and allies within a 10 feet radius. All creatures within range must make a DC-14 Charisma saving throw. On a failed save, the creature is knocked prone by the blustery gale and becomes enraged for up to one minute. On a successful save, the creature is just knocked prone by the blustery regale. The creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of its turn. A creature automatically succeeds if it is immune to being charmed. And then there's another thing called Blinded by Rage. Enraged creatures lose the ability to distinguish friend from foe regarding all creatures. It can see as enemies. Additionally, a protective gale surrounding the creature granting them resistance to bludging, piercing, and splashing damage. Huh. Well, you know, hold, this weapon sounds pretty cool. Yeah. It's just so much to the point where I don't think you really need the infusion that I gave your axe anymore, right? I don't even remember what the hammer infusion was. Axe, ammo, tomato, tomato, you know. What was that infusion? I don't recall. I think just gave you a plus one to your attack. Yeah. OK. I mean, if you need that so that you can free that up for another infusion thing, then by all means. Yeah, because I was working on something over the last couple of days that I actually just wanted. I want to give Natty. Kissing up to the team leader, huh? Yeah. And also just because I like Natty. Natty already forgot she was team leader. So it's written at the top of my page. So I basically whittled this wooden ring out of some wood that I found over our journeys. And it actually has a special ability that I want to give to you. I love a good ring. It's got a spell refueling ability. So while you wear it, you could recover one expanded spell slot as an action. I like that. So I know you like your spells. And so this way, you know, if you use one and you can't use anymore and you really want another one, you got this ring. Very nice. I'm going to add that to my glove and my inventory. Okay. Upon further reading, it looks like I'm repeating myself, but I want to make sure it's clear. The storm strike thing can affect my friends as well. So I can knock them prone and put them into a rage. So I just need to make sure that you guys are clear when I do that. This is an interesting one. I just makes it to where it's benefits me to get into the middle of as many people as possible, strike it, and then hopefully they'll fight each other. Just for clarity, it's Strom strike. Strom strike. Sorry. Oh, good. I do it all the time. Strom bully. Woo. I'm a big guy. It sounds like something I might want to eat. Yeah. New from Spick anywhere else. It's Strom strike. I was thinking of Fizzoli's. No, it's more Nordic, according to Micah. Strom. Strom. Fanon takes a seat on one of the lily pad seats floating there in the living room and just stares at you for. What are you doing here? Why are you here? Water. I'm here to make a living, to practice my trade. Why did you abandon our village? There is much to see in the world and much to show the world as well. I felt it was my time to do so. But you portray your family. You do not care about our family. I could ask you the same thing, Gunther. Why are you here? Oh, yeah. He's been saying, didn't you also abandon your family? That's like when you try to tattle on someone's like, I saw Blaine's eyes were opened during prayer. It's like your eyes had to be opened during prayer too. That's funny. That's a good one. I, yes, I have abandoned my family, but hopefully for the good of the villagers, oh, so I may have abandoned. I have not abandoned the cause. OK. Your abandonment is worse than my abandonment. I seek to better the world and enlighten it through our practices. So, I'm going to talk to Mato. A second-term Mato reference of the day, dammer. Relax. Then tell me, what do you know of the Sixth Toad swordsman who stole everything from us? Oh, yes. I heard about this. The Wildershield was stolen from Five Flats. You seek vengeance on the Sixth Toad heathen? Yes. And to reclaim what is stolen. I see. Well, Gunther, I don't think you're ready to take vengeance. You need more training. I will connect you with those friends of mine, experts in fighting. They will help train you and prepare you for your vengeance and for recovering the Wildershield. Yes, I know I'm not ready, but do you know where to go once I am? Do you have any information? When you are ready, you will be divinely guided to your vengeance. I have begun investigating and will let you know when I have found more information. The those I send to help you will seek you out and find you. And if I have more information at the time, they will convey it. I pray you are correct. I'm just going to cut in here, relieve the tension. You hoots me tall of hay. So these Toads, are they from your, like, village as well? Do they leave or are these, like, different Toads from a different place? These Toads are from Swangsands. Swangsands is the neighboring region to Fly Flats. Gunther, are you from Swangsands? I'm not from Swangsands at Toads. I have not yet dealt with. We do not interact. Oh, they're like a rival team or something like that? Not so much rival. We just do not interact. Oh, but why not? They seem friendly. They're going to come and train you. Maybe you could, like, make peace between your two tribes. Wouldn't that be fun? Huh? There is no anger. We just do not hang out. You're just kind of neighbors that don't really talk or anything. You also said it so menacingly. Yeah. It's like you are angry all the time. His name is Dave. We see each other when we take trash out on Tuesdays, but we do not talk. We do not talk of the Swangsands. I think we can all relate to that neighbor that we don't, you don't hang out with them. You just happen to live next to each other. You're like, nod when you see them, you know, walking down the street, but it's like, never really don't even know that person's name. Are you happy with that, Chris? Is there more you want to discuss? You said you want to share with the world. What have you learned? What have you shared? Perhaps it is best if I show you. You're going to fight me again. Shannon does not reach for her foil, but instead she does something with her hands. You can't quite see. And the room begins transforming before your very eyes into a cone shaped room with a forge crafted of obsidian iron in the center that begins spewing smoke out. There is an anvil strapped atop a stump and a small reservoir of water. Mossy tools and weapons turn around to become visible mounted on the walls, and the room has four doors, one in each cardinal direction. This is what I share with the world, my crap. I seek to restore ancient artifacts. Wait a minute. I feel like we've had glimpses of ancient artifacts over the course of our journey. Yeah, we broke into a chest full of them. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's the corn of copia. I've got this shield that might be something. Captain Grubbles has a shield that makes him curse. My gosh. I thought this was family friendly. Not in front of my auntie. So then you see essentially a forge and an anvil and various tools for smithing and casting in the room. Could I hold up something for my inventory and show it to her? Sure. I have this pirate cloak of pipe dreams. Do you know what this is? Best I can do is $30. Not gonna lie. I might have just forgotten what it is. What was it again? The pirate hook? Pirate hook of pipe dreams. I don't remember this item at all. It's a snake like pirate hook crafted from an unusual green threading. You know what it is, Shannon? Shannon, do you remember what episode that got this from? This is a fine quality item. The threading is for two at one. Crafted from the skin of serpent wine. It's high quality. Hey, is this the antique thode show? That's pretty good. Give yourself an inspiration. That's really good. That's so good. Yes. You can use this to hook into nearby creatures and gain a vision of their latest dream or aspiration. Whoa, that's cool. Could I quickly take it and hook into Toll's arm? Yeah. He will take a little bit of damage. It's cool. I can send. It's fine. Roll a d6, Doug. Piercing your ear. Oh my goodness. Three. Okay, yeah. Toll's, Doug runs at you and pierces you for three points of damage. Sorry. Take a little test. What's your latest dream or aspiration, Toll's? Probably involved like Elva and like probably a memory of Elva and I in the before times working on Ironclad's ship. And then now it's just like those bad memories and the bad things we did are kind of being like overtaken by like the good that, you know, us meeting each other again is bringing, I don't know, it's like a symbolic dream. Yeah, it's weird because from your perspective, Doug, you know, it's all first person. It's like you are Toll experiencing these things and you see Elva and you feel a warmness and a connection to her that normally Doug doesn't feel that towards Elva, but you're feeling like Toll's feelings and sensations. So it's really disconcerting and really kind of warming to experience. Don't worry, Toll. We will find Elva soon enough. But then you look down and all of your fingers are pool noodles and you don't know why. Hot dogs. As you unhook the hook from Toll and, you know, kind of regain your bearing, Doug, Shannon looks at you and says, Your friend there could probably tell you more about this item. And she points at Natty. It was crafted by her kind in the last four. So Drow made this? Yes. Oh, okay. Well, Natty, I feel like you and I have to have a conversation after about this guy. I love having a chat. Should I give a little hook? What are you doing? Doug walks over and just like slowly puts the hook. Natty puts it in and just pushes the hook back. He's like, Doug, you can use your words. I'm an open book. If you just want to talk to me, you weirdo. I picture it's like Natty puts her hand up and Doug keeps trying to put the hook higher to hook into the hand and Natty's hand just keeps going up. Y'all do so much to avoid talking to each other and just sharing your feelings and thoughts. Okay. Well, apparently your kind made this hook here according to Shannon. Over here, Gunto's hand. Mom's? Shannon? I assume you're talking about Drows, Woloks? I don't know. Yes, this was crafted by the Drow of the Last Forest. Know anything about that, Natty? I mean, it looks like something that might have been sold in our market. We have like a big old market on the outside of our village and that's where we sell all of our goods and stuff to anybody who passes by and any visitors. But I don't know about that one specifically. It just looks like it would belong in that kind of environment in that kind of place. Looks like something someone would have at one of their booths. I want to go thrifting at Natty's home. That sounds fun. Oh, it's wonderful. Do we have like a lot of pirate stuff there? Pirate stuff? I mean, it's a hook. I mean, pirates sometimes have hooks, but you know, hooks are for other stuff too. This one is called the pirate hook of pipe dreams. Then I guess yes. You know, we got all kinds of stuff. We sell everything under the sun. All right. Well, good to know. Thank you very much. And I promise not to hook you. Not even when you're asleep today. Not even a little bit. Dick, use your words. We can talk. I have a question for Shaden. Okay. So you say that you've seen so many like mythical, you know, like things and forges and machines and whatnot. But do you know about Thalmotex? Thalmotex are indeed ancient artifacts, probably crafted by the same group of people who crafted most ancient artifacts. Beyond that, I do not know specifically. I have not seen many Thalmotex across my forge. What's like your vibe? Like say some Thalmotec robot man walked into your door. What would you do? Would you attack? Would you greet them like they were your nephew? Or would you be like, oh, look at you. You're fancy. You're cool. I have respect for ancient craft work and the ancient craftspeople. I would treat such technology with reverence. Oh, cool. Look at this. And I pull off my face. Ganta goes, oh, it's scary every time. Yeah, my bad. My bad. I should warn you guys next time. Oh, you're showing everyone now. Yeah. I think Shannon would lean in a little bit like anything was like kind of, you know, like an actually would grab you by the chin and look you all over like, you know, like, like, kind of like she's going to kiss your cheeks, but she's not your right. She's not going to actually kiss your cheeks. She's looking at them. Looks close. Oh, yes. The Zodium Mystics. No doubt. Oh, Zodium Mystics. Cool. That's super helpful. Yeah. I mean, I don't, you know, I'm still trying to find out about my origins. So like if you could help me on that quest, that'd be so cool. But yeah, you know, I'm a Thomitech. Oh, look at me. Feels so good to say it now. I'm just going to tell the world. I'm so proud of you. You know, it's really brave to, you know, speak your truth, Tove. Yeah, I'm doing it. Look at me. Have you encountered any other artifacts crafted by the Zodium Mystics? I mean, if, of the Thomitechs. Well, I mean, I have the Spyglass of Zodia, if that counts. Yeah, yeah. He sees the answers. Oh, indeed. That is also crafted by the Zodium Mystics. Very fine quality. It is also known as the Horoscope. Oh, that's a clever name. I like that. These are very powerful. At the mittens of mushrooms and the stockings of spider silk, there's a Thomitech things as well. Sorry, we're just, we're just kind of making like show and tell. You like showing, showing the grown up, all the stuff you found, all your cool things. Yes. Very powerful artifacts indeed. Auntie, this is your brother's blade. Do you have any skills in which to improve it? For he was slain by that six-toed monster. She takes it from you and inspects it, you know, holds it, examines the balance and says, It looks like this has already been improved on. If you find more fragments of materials, they can be added, but for now, it is as good as it can be. And she hands it back to you. Thank you. Auntie, take this pebble, eat it from home. Something to remember it by. She looks at it, make a perception check, Gunther. Thanks. Okay, yeah, you hand it over to her and it seems like for a moment, her eyes soften a bit. Then once again, you know, kind of return to their state they were before. And she says, This is very welcome, Gunther. Thank you. Yes. And FYI, you all also can look around. There are things in the forge if you want to explore further as well. What was over that log that bumped my shin earlier? Any significance to that? Oh, that was in the previous room configuration. So it's gone now. So now you're in like a forge workshop type room. So basically we're in a giant toilet and then that log got flushed and then it's a different way. I like how was it, John? There's someone said we don't make toilet humor jokes. And yeah, we have a literal toilet joke. All right. I think we do. I think he was being sarcastic. Now I think a show that's called stinky dragon whose logo has fart lines coming out of a dragon is all about the higher art. They know what they signed up for. Yes. I want to see if there's any like Thaumatech stuff in there. Just a good browse. Yeah. I guess where would you focus your search? You can look either through the forge, the anvil, there's a reservoir, the tools, there's some weapons. Tell me where you would start, I guess. Weapons. Okay. You wander over towards the rack of weapons and begin looking. You see three weapons hanging up. What appears to be a broadheaded axe, a pair of sticks with perpendicular handles attached a third of the way down, and a long and slim dagger with tapering needle point. None of the three appear to be Thaumatech, but they do appear to be ancient weapons. Pair of sticks with perpendicular handles. They're like like like like cheers or like like what is that? You look at those a little closer. Make me a perception check we'll call it, Tooth. That is a 14. Yeah, it's it's weird. You've never seen something like this, I guess. It's a pair of sticks with perpendicular handles attached a third of the way down, and as you begin inspecting them closer, you see it's constantly perspiring with sweat. Shannon sees you admiring them and says, Yes, the taunfa of terrors. When you hit your enemy with it, they scream and are inflicted with fear for one minute. I'm having the hardest time visualizing what you're describing. Oh, it's like a like a night stick that a cop would carry. Yeah, very similar to that. I was just trying to figure out the orientation of something with perpendicular handles, but yeah, that tracks. Yeah, like what you would see them spinning around. So what's the significance of these weapons? Are they like for sale or are they for other clients? These are weapons that have been found and I have reforged. This is my work I share with the world. Do you have any weapons or equipment that could help us on our quest? Auntie, please. All weapons can help on a quest, silly boy. I guess specifically armor. Well, perhaps we can come to an arrangement of some kind and I can trade my skill with these weapons with you. But as for armor, I have nothing. Metagame, why do you need more armor? Your armor class is already 19. Oh, I don't know. I'm not getting a new sword because it's like his father starts. So, uh, right. I mean, I'm good with weapons. I just got this cool. What I don't even remember what it's called. Gavill of Galestrom. Gavill of Galestrom. So anybody else want to look around anything? Nanny's not interested in weapons. I'll look around. I'll go with Doug to look around. Okay, we'll start with Doug and Gunther. There's two of you. Where do you all want to investigate? Once again, there's the forge, the anvil, the reservoir, there's tools and there's weapons, which is where Tollvis at the moment. I know that Doug would probably want to look at the tools. Yeah, tools sounds neat. All right, Gunther. Hop on. Let's go look at the tools. All right. And he starts patting onto his shoulder. Yeah, Gunther hops. Yeah. Up he's. Doug and Gunther, you walk over to where the tools are. And you see hammers, tongs, charcoal, rags, wet stones. There's a piece of paper pinned to the wall and just all kinds of stuff laid out. What does the piece of paper say? You pick up, well, I guess you lean in and take a look at the piece of paper. And it's scrawled with the following. Anybody who reads this in seven days will die. Oh, God, oh, God. It says the end. And you begin floating in the air. No, no, no. It's scrawled with Speckles 773, Solis, Gager, Yakes, and Mini Hammy 11. Are these all members of our discord? Maybe. Wait. Okay. Things are getting weird in this world. If you if you want to be on a future note, go over to stinkydragonpod.com and if you want to have your name on a pointless piece of paper. Pointless? How dare you? We got someone in our discord name, Speckles779. Barb just looked him up right now. What were the other names? If I'm being honest, these are probably names directly from Patreon, like Patreon user names. And sometimes people's discord names are a little different. Gotcha. Well, shout out to our wonderful Patreon and discord members, one and the same. Is there anything among these tools that I don't know sticks out as unique or special other than regular, you know? Is there something specific or are you just trying to see look for something that's different? Like what is what is your thought process in this? I mean, this is just like normal blacksmithing and, and we know weapon stuff, right? Or is there anything specific that's like, oh, this is noteworthy? Why don't you roll me an investigation check? He could investigate really good because he's up on my shoulder. Yeah. So he's further away from the tool. So he's at disadvantage. Yeah. Maybe I need to get lower to the ground. It's a four. All right. I dropped Gunther back down on him. Ouch. Yeah. You're getting old. It's all out of focus. You need to increase the size on them to be able to, to see them better. At first glance, everything seems to be just mundane tools. Nothing super special stands out. You need to get more cool stuff. Could I take a look? I mean, I am an artifice. So I feel like I would recognize if like anything's out of the order, ordinary of like a tool kit or anything like that. Why don't you make me an investigation check with advantage? I feel like there's a lot of stuff here that Doug might find relevant and interesting. All right. 14. You know, you're poking around through the various tools that are laid out, and there is something that stands out. There's a good size bag, like a medium sized bag, that when you open it up, it's filled with marble. Huh. Well, I know when we had the duel outside, we said it was for all the marbles, but I didn't think it was actually serious. It seems like they're made from semi-precious stones. Hey, Gunther, I have a gift for you. It's kind of a gift for me. You know how like you're always giving us like pebbles and stuff like that? Yes. Different types of rocks. Well, I found this and I think you might like it. And Doug Cairns and the little sack of marbles. Oh, thank you. I did not know that you owned this. I was gonna say, hey Doug, you know we're in someone else's house. We're gonna find those people and all that stuff. Shannon sees the exchange and says, oh yes, those were perhaps created long ago to entertain some long dead child of the aristocracy. Oh, don't entertain this kid over here, right, Gunther? Yo, I'm so fun to play with. Auntie, can I play? Yes, have fun. Just don't get dirty. Don't go too far. Come back before the lights come on. Okay, do you want them back after I'm done or can I keep them? Those you can keep. A score. What can I have? Me next, me next, Christmas. But yeah, everything else seems to be pretty mundane there. Okay. I think, I mean, have we searched every nook and cranny here or is there, you know, for the reason for us to stick around and look around this person's shop? I want to do something. What do I do, Natty? It's just Natty's gonna take Giggie over and show Giggie the reservoir and just see what's going on with the reservoir. You know, when you like take your pets around the house and you just show them stuff that I've never seen before, it's like, this is the inside of the microwave. You've never seen this. I mean, don't put your pets inside the microwave. But yeah, I see what you're saying. I said show. You didn't say put inside. Show. The verbiage was very vague there, John. I'm just saying. I don't think it was. I said you show your pets places they've never seen the inside of a microwave. Nobody got that out of it except for Blaine. Blaine's the only one who went there, which I'm concerned about that. He's not in his desk now. Oh, no. Yeah, you walk. Oh, you take Giggie over to the reservoir and take a look at it. And it appears to be a natural reservoir of saltwater positioned very close to the forging anvil. Hey, Shannon, do you is saltwater better for forging than like regular water? I'm curious. That is what is available here. It's natural brine of seawater. It's very useful one way or another. Man, even even your aunt don't answer questions straight up. Y'all are just pretty clear. It's what's available here. I don't know what else you want to listen to. Not the she might always pets. I just curious if it's better than I assume you guys have access to regular water for like drinking and survive it. I am being told by Micah that in real life, brine water is preferable and used for Smithy. Cool. Oh, that's neat. That's what I was. I figured there was something to do with that. Giggie. Don't drink it. Giggie. Stop drinking it. Giggie. Giggie. Get your tongue out of there. No drinking. Make a roll. Make a roll. 14. Giggie stops. Oh, okay. It's like when your dog is drinking your pool water. So we've got the weapons rack, the forge, the reservoir. There was one other place, right? Am I crazy? The anvil. Anvil. I mean, we might as well take a look and finish things up. I'll go over to the anvil. That's an anvil. Yep. Cool. You walk over and take a look and you see blazing vines streak across the stump from the roots and the anvil's engraved with two symbols, a flower of fire and a three-pronged forked tongue with flame above. Is it warm to the touch? Can I kind of see the scents without touching it if it's hot? You try to sense it and it does not feel like it's especially hot at the moment. Can I lift it up? I want to see if I can lift this heavy, heavy anvil. Oh, make a strength check. You've got it. Remember that time we were at someone's house and told, got a hernia? 30-20. Let's go. You know, you brace yourself, try to get under it and lift it and it lifts ever so slightly off the ground. I mean, like we're talking like maybe a centimeter, but then you have to quickly put it back down. Yep. That's heavy. All right. You need a help? What are you guys doing? What are you? Stop stealing stuff. Stop moving this nice lady stuff around. Y'all never been. You're the one putting your child in the microwave. What's a microwave? I don't know what that is. It is a small wave. Listen, John, I like to lift heavy things. When I was in college one time, I saw a smart card and I was like, I bet I could lift the front of that and I just proceeded to try to lift it. Oh my God. Oh my God. And the towel, blame, developed a hernia. Yeah. Okay, strong as an ox. I mean, I'm good in here. As Tov puts the anvil back down and rests it on the ground, a raven flies up to the window. And hits it. Wham! And begins, uh, cawing at you all. Private Parts walks over to it. That's so raven. I'm going to take away your inspiration. Get a demotivation die. Private Parts walks over to it and does something with it and turns around to you all and says, We have new orders. We're going to return to Fort Indridge for debrief at our next mission. Ooh. BT, you're being called to the front line. Oh. Where did that raven go to Private Parts microwave it? It's a useful snack for the road. Well, I guess as team leader, I will say that yes, we will head to back to our base. Doug salutes Natty. He goes, Yes ma'am. Thank you. Auntie, where are the clothes? Are the swan stands? Swing. Swing. Swing stands. Worry not, young Gunther. They will find you. Are they going to like, you know, spring some sort of a trap and greet us the same way you greeted Gunther? You should be on your guard. Fantastic. They have a very specific set of skills. Should we do maybe like another duel before we go or uh, you know? No. Let's bet on if we think we're going to make it all there with one piece. Just a quick little bet. Doug wants to swing by Vegas on the way home, on the way back to Fort Indridge. You know, even the airport has a couple of slot meetings, you know. Before we go, I want to thank Shannon for the gavel of Galestrom and I forgot, Shannon, can you look at my shield? It's one last piece of interesting, you know, ancient technology or something. Then I'm very confused. It's glowed the other day and I'm wondering if you could make heads or tails of that. So you hand over the shield for inspection? Yeah. Yes, I see. This is connected to Thaumatec technologies. Oh. So it makes sense that this is in your possession. Anything beyond that? She uh, examines it a little closer. It is Bluetooth compatible. She says, When in range of other Thaumatec technology, it will let you know you are nearby. Oh, that's cool. Okay, I had a theory about that because it glowed blue when we were near Elva. That's very cool. All right, that's super helpful. So, Bluetooth. I just found something I remembered I had. This brass jeweler's loop. It says crafted by Dr. Acutarius. Do you know of it? She looks at the loop and says, Perhaps you are touched, young one. It does not say that. What? Oh, it disappeared. This is just a jeweler's loop. Oh. Remember, if we are crazy, we keep seeing things that us of people don't see and that it disappears. Remember the ship that was swimming bar to bar to bar? Yes, I guess, yes. Really good diddy, I gotta say. It's not bad. I bet you can find it on Spotify, not the music streaming platforms. I quickly shazammed the music. Then my horizon got quite talented musician. I didn't know you could cast Bell's Tool. Yeah, special barbarian skills. Well, I guess she doesn't know about it, but that'll be something maybe we could dig into, Gonto. And I hope you are good. Believe us, go. Yes, I am well and I will continue to do my work and share my skills with the world. Right, well, bye and Shannon. Good to see you. All right, so I guess you all turn around to leave and then, you know, as you were preparing to depart, she does say one more thing to you, Gunther. She says, I will send Raven with any new updates about the Wilder Shield. Thank you. And I shall send Raven just to catch up. Oh, that would be welcome. I'll send Raven with flat Stanley. It's for my book project. All right, so you all, I see you all walk outside. Yeah, yeah, true. So judging by the position of the faint starlight seen in the day sky, it appears to be noon. You know, the red sun always stares down on midrists unmoving. You know, Fort Endridge is about 12 miles away, metagame wise, that's two hexes away, about two watches. So team leader, Natty, you choose where to travel next to go back to Fort Endridge. You can either pass through Solisod or Urbahae Road. And I will read brief descriptions of both of those to you. You know that in Solisod, oh, man, this kind of plays into something we were talking about already. You know, in Solisod, you can win or lose some serious money on those vermal stang races. A great place to catch some Z's. And your other option is Urbahae Road. It's a highway that's overcrowded with your classic three T's, travelers, traders and tourists. And there's actual T as well. Well, Doug, where do you want to go? Well, you know, we could put it to a vote, which we may or may not have already done, or team leader Natty could pick where we want to go. I was asking you in particular, I'm wondering if anything about those descriptions was of interest to you. I've taken some internal thinking and realized that it's not healthy to want to, you know, gamble too much. So maybe it's a good test if we go to Solisod. You have to go, you have to expose yourself to see if the demon is out of you. Yeah, just in the last few minutes, I read a book on exposure to L.P. OK. And counting cards. You know, it's the Vermistang races and I got a feeling for some reason that Tove's kind of a horse girl as well. So let's head to Solisod. All right. Yep. I'm just assuming that if it's a if it's the kind of place I'm thinking is we're going to see a lot of big, beautiful hats. Oh, like the Dolby. You all set out and like I said, Fort Endridge is about two watches away and just a quick recap of the way traveling works. Days are divided into six or our watches, three for day, three for night. So it'll take you about two watches to make the entire trip. As you begin setting out from Shannon's on your way back to Andres Bay through Solisod, thick storm clouds begin moving in. You hear the distant rumble of thunder become slowly louder and louder until a thunderstorm is right on top of you and it begins slowly raining and then it proceeds into a pretty heavy downpour. And I'm going to put a pause there to plug something. We're using a what Micah calls a meat grinder table here for a lot of things that you all run into and things that happen in the world. It's a mechanic from another role playing game that he's adapted for us here. And I think we'll talk a bit about that in the second one for this episode. Because I think it's a really interesting mechanic that I think you all, as players have not been aware of, but it affects a lot of the environment and people that you run into and things that are happening to you. It's called a meat grinder. Yeah. So for example, it's now raining this thunderstorm that you all are traveling through. It's because of the meat grinder table, which we'll get into on second wind, which is a bonus supplementary podcast available for patrons at all levels. So sign up at www.thingedragonpod.com. Good stuff. Yeah. Little peek as to how the meat is ground. Okay. So yeah, it's pretty miserable. What's you all marching order here? I'm in front. Behind me is Gunther. Behind Gunther is Doug. And because I can see that there's a storm coming and I'm assuming there's lightning, I'm asking Tove to like walk at least like 10 feet behind us because I think he might be conductive. That is this far enough? Yes, that's good. Why am I back here so far away from you? You're scatting the rear. Oh, okay. I don't see anything that's a lot of lightning. Yeah. Put your arm up in the sky. Okay. Now what? That's a technique we use in order to keep the rear of our party safe. Isn't Tove some type of lightning guy? Like, isn't your barbarian style like a lightning thing? It's like a storm guy. Yeah. I mean, I have the gavel of Galestrom and I also have an ability. No, what's your sub, like subclass? Barbarian. Is like a storm Herald or something, I think? There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Storm aura. Guys, can I control the weather? Can I try to control the weather? Yeah. I think I should try to control the weather. What should Blaine Roll to see if he knows how to control the weather, Gus? John, obviously it's a persuasion check. That's what it is. Hey, clouds. That's what Aurora Monroe from the X-Men does all the time. All right. Before I do that, I say, oh, mighty storm, it is me, your leader and God told that I commend you to abide by my commands. It's I'm working on it. Well, what is your command? Give me a sign that I have control over you 15 on persuasion. A bolt of lightning streaks down from the sky and strikes very near to you between you and the party. Look, Nadine, did you see this? I heard it. Yeah. Really loud. I have a ringing in my ears, but I think I am controlling of the weather. That's nice, Tove. I watch this. I'm going to do another one. I point at a tree that's next to Nadine. You point at the tree and nothing seems to happen. It's just the rain continues to fall. Oh, look, I'm working on it. They made it rain on the tree. I'm the Lord of the Storms. Doug, I don't know what is going on. When's the last time you ate? You are starving. Uh-oh. You could really go for some food. You're right. And I don't know why, but Nadine kind of looks like a giant hot dog all of a sudden. What? And Gunter, he kind of looks like a little gummy bear. Me next. Tove just looks like a, no, I look like Tove. Tove looks like one of those rollers that the hot dogs sit on in 7-Eleven. You can't not picture the Thaumatech now. So it's like, you know, I know you're a robot. I can't eat a robot. Maybe I'm like a dee-doo dog. You could eat a skin off of him. Yeah, he's just crackling. Yeah. Should we maybe find some food or something? Did you not pack any rations? I might have already eaten those. You know how that thing is where it's like, you've got plenty of food in your fridge and plenty of food in your pantry, but it's like, you don't want any of that? You want like, you want something, but you're not sure what. And it's just not satisfying. All right. Well, should we look for some grub? Yeah. Gunter has the wanderer feature, which means I can find food and fresh water for myself and up to five other people each day, provided that the land offers berries, small game, water and so forth. I don't know if this land will happen stuff. Well, I think water is not a problem at the moment. Thank you, Tove. Yeah. Do you have to roll anything for that or you just find it automatically? Yeah, it's just like a feature. Okay. What kind of things do you want? I assume you go out and try to find things. What kind of things do you want to try to find? What kind of things do you offer to Doug? I want to find berries. I want to find maybe a baby. A man goose. Baby man goose? No, just a man goose. Berries and man goose and roots and make a man goose stew. That all sounds delicious to me. I'm not going to lie. You returned with a little bit of this and that, some various edible plants and berries and small game and offered up to Doug. Ooh, it sounds like he said that it all sounds good to him who begins like scarfing it down. In one bite, by the way, because Doug has such a big mouth. One bite. Yeah, it's like a lot of food for Gunther. He's holding it, but then Doug picks it up and it's like a tiny little morsel. Hulva's doing that thing that you do when you're at a stoplight and then you go, now, green, now, but he's doing it with the lightning and he's pointing at various places going, now. I mean, I am, I am resistant to lightning damage. So, you know, it doesn't matter. I'm totally fine. You keep doing it. It's not quite lining up every now and then. It's just before you point or just after you point, but it's not quite right on the moment. I like your dance that you're doing there, Toalf. Yeah. It's fun. It's called the electric boogaloo. You know, as you are progressing the after several hours, you tell me, how are you approaching this? Are you going to continue all the way to Solisot in one go? Or you do want to stop and take a break along the way? I guess you stopped for a little while to forage and get some food for Doug. But what are your plans here, Natty? How are you going to approach this? Well, you said it only took two watches, which is about a third of a day, so we could get it there in a day. Yeah. I mean, it was about midday when you departed, Shannon. So you get there by the evening if, you know, you push on. Yeah. We don't stop too many times for potty. Okay. After a while, the thunderstorms die down and the weather becomes more what you're accustomed to here. And the ground begins turning into thick grains of sand. And on the horizon, you start to see what appears to be a cactus-shaped boulder. What? That slowly begins to get bigger and bigger as you approach it. And as you're walking towards it, you realize that this is a cactus-shaped boulder that's about the size of a castle. Oh, wow. And it appears to be made out of stained glass. Oh. You know this to be the crag-tus. Crag-tus? There's a bunch of children all climbing to the top of it, competing while cameras film them. There is not. However, you do see an aqueduct running from the direction of Andridge Bay towards the crag-tus, towards what appears to be maybe an underground cavern. And there's a racetrack that surrounds crag-tus. So crag-tus is a structure made of stained glass. Is it like an art structure, like a statue, or is it a building? Is it the size of a castle? Yeah. Does it have an entrance, windows, dressings? It is all a window. Yeah. It appears to be, you might have to get closer to take a look, but from a distance, it appears to be huge and appears to be maybe made of some kind of stained glass. You could maybe try to find locals to talk to or get closer to investigate it more. But we are, we're at this crag-tus, but it's like, is it close? Is it, are we like next to Solisad? This is like in Solisad. This is Solisad. Solisad. Solisad. Oh. Okay. Happens in Solisad, stays in Solisad. Nettie would look for a local and want to ask about this interesting structure. Yeah. You look around and you see a booth with a sign that reads place bets here, no magic. And next to it is a wooden corral of worn looking horses. Okay. I'll go to that counter. You walk over to it and you see the booth with someone standing behind the booth duct taped together. It appears to be an older plump human with bristly gray hair and he's wearing green fur line. Hoopland. Hoopland. Hoop-land. Yeah, you guys tell me what that is. It's a loose volumous outer garment popular in Europe during the late middle ages. Like a one of those like kind of poofy tunics you see like at renters. Okay. Howdy sir. My name is Nettie. I am a traveler and I am quite curious about your wonderful city, especially this little stained glass thing you got up here. What's going on with that thing? Oh yes, the crag just, it is a very popular local landmark. You can ride a lift up to the top if you like. Oh, like it's like an attraction. I didn't catch your name. What's your name? I'm Iris. He sticks out a hand to shake yours. And you are? Like I said, I'm Nettie. Nettie wonder and Nettie shakes it a lot. Nettie wonder. A pleasure to meet you. Not a single person will get this reference, but. Hey Iris, do you happen to know someone named Pepe? This is the Nat Guitar thing. I don't get it. Love Island. I'm sure tons of people who are listening will get it. Super. I feel like that's everywhere right now. It's so popular. Well Iris, it is a delight to meet you. Is this your business establishment, this booth? Are you like taking bets for the Verma Stang Races? Oh yes. Yes. Verma Stang Races go on here every day. You're welcome to place a bet on any of the Verma Stang over here. And he points in the direction of the corral where the Verma Stangs are. What does a Verma Stang look like Gustavo? Is it like a rat the size of a horse? They're kind of like worm horses. It's like they're kind of in a horse shape with no hooves and worm skin. And they've got colored mane of hair. Wait, what? Take that back. So move over or rocks. So wait, it is the shape of a horse. No hooves, skin of a worm. It's a worm horse. Okay. And they have a colored mane of hair. So little worm legs. Yeah. I like to imagine that this is a drawing someone did in Pictionary where they were trying to draw a horse but they forgot what a horse looked like. This is me drawing a horse in some Jackbox game. Okay, we have this is just for our patrons. We have a stinky art section in the discord. I need people based off of just that description. I don't want you googling nothing if this is a real thing from D&D. I just want you to draw what a Verma Stang is and we'll get a consensus on it. Just for your reference, it is a made up thing. Okay, there you go. I figure. Well, Iris, that is quite a unique creature you have there. Do those things, are those things that race? Do jockeys get on them? Oh yes. In fact, one of my nephews is one of the jockeys, Sheldon. Sheldon the Verma Stang Jockey? Yes, Sheldon is writing whoever hires him to write at the time. And you said this aggro crag here, I don't remember what it was called, crag-tis. Crag-tis? It's very popular, surely. You know about the crag-tis. Everyone comes to Solisod for the races and for the crag-tis. Well, I've never witnessed either of those things. And so I think me and my party would love to experience both. Does the crag-tis require any sort of admission? It costs one gold to ride the lift to the top. Oh, sorry, Nady, can't make it in. I think actually, I think Giggie ate a gold piece at one point. So you can wait eight to 12 hours for your gold piece. Well, do you guys want to go up to the top of the crag-tis? You afford to go to the top of the crag-tis? You need to get off my butt about affording this thing. I'm sure one of my Nasser party members might loan me a gold piece. You know I'm going to do it. I'm going to pay away. And I just need a lesson you need to learn about betting. I can get us all more gold. Just give me a few minutes in here. I think you're talking about the virtues of betting to the wrong party member, they're told. Well, if you want to get to the top of the crag-tis, the lift is in that direction. And he points over closer towards the crag-tis. And we can get taken over there? Yes, there's a cactus right over there with a coin slot that you will pay to activate the lift. Well, isn't that cute? Because we're in a desert and you guys all got this cactus like little thing going here. I love that. And this is where we place the bets, is that's correct? Oh yes, this is where you bet on the Verma Stings right here with good old Iris. Which of the Verma Stings do you think is hot today? You can take a look for yourself. And you points over toward the corral. Let me take a good look at these guys. Who we got? What are the names? How many of our patrons did we use to name these worm horses? They're like, oh man, I could be the next Smarsh. I could be the next Lin Mer. And then they're a worm horse. That's going to get turned into worm glue after the race. Doug, you walk over there? Yeah. Yeah, I go too. Yeah, Doug and Gunther, the new pair for this episode. Green team. Yes. Yeah, we both strike a pose, but Gunther's on top of Doug's shoulder. Team Gug. You walk over to the corral and there are four mounts there. Each is in a stall with a name plaque. And the four names read El Angel, Pop and Fresh, Terry and Wester. Which one? Which one are you getting a good vibe from? Are you going to answer me one more time? El Angel, like El Angel, Pop and Fresh, Terry and Wester. I know who I'm going to put my money down on. Yeah, Terry. Yeah, $5 on Terry. Terry's going to take it. Something about Pop and Fresh was speaking to me personally. Gotta go to get. If you want, you can make an animal handling check to see if you can get any more information about these beasts and their behavior or anything about them. Yeah, I might do that as well. Yeah. All right. That's a one. 16. Which one of these horses bites Tove in the hand? Come here, Terry. 14. All right. So we've got a 16 for Gunther, a 14 for Doug and a one for Tove. Seemingly Tove walks up to Terry and out of nowhere, a bolt of lightning streaks down from the sky. Striking Terry, killing and Terry falls to the ground. Oh, Terry. No, no, no. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We'll go with Gunther first because he rolled a 16. Which one did you walk up to, Gunther? He said, I'm him. Yeah. This verma stang has a golden mane. These things have hair? Yeah. Okay. What do you want to know about this verma stang? If you want to know something about its behavior or like an asset of its pick one. Yeah. Does it seem like healthy? I guess they happy. Yeah. You know, you try to ascertain whether it's healthy or not. And it seems to be in good health and however it looks like it is hungry. It's wandering around looking for anything to eat. And it's like sniffing all over the sand and all around the stall, just looking, trying to find these stuff to eat. I know what they eat. Dirt, steroids. Verma stang growth hormone. Make a nature check. Two. Great. You've never seen a creature like this. You're not really entirely sure, but you think probably just about anything. It seems to be really foraging for whatever it can find. And I'm good at finding food as we have previously established. It's true. How do you look for food for berries or whatever? Yeah. Do you have anything you want to give to it or are you trying to find something? I guess I have rations and stuff, but I was thinking looking, helping it find what it was looking for, helping it forage for, you know, so it's getting what it needs. Not just what I get it. Make a survival check. 19. You poke around and you find some discarded, like, half-eaten pieces of fruit. And as you handle them, the Verma Stang becomes very interested and begins, like, staring at you intently. Here you go. On hell. Make a dexterity saving throw. 13. Okay. Yeah. It, like, very quickly snatches the fruit out of your hand. You feel like it almost bit your hand when it was taking the fruit out of your hand, but you're able to pull it back out of the way in time. Oh, this one is feisty. Then next, I think we had Doug with a 14. That's correct. Which one do you want to look at? Pop and Fresh, please. Pop and Fresh. Are you more interested in, like, its behavior or, like, its assets? Behavior. You walk up to Pop and Fresh and its main is a great color. And, you know, as you walk up, it seems to not really totally acknowledge you. It seems to be kind of just, like, looking off into the distance and looking around. It's, it's somewhat aloof and disinterested in you and anything else that's in front of it. I see you really focused on the race at hand. Are you Pop and Fresh? Yeah, not focused on any distractions. I like that. I like that about you. Yeah, a very majestic looking creature. Is it? Is it? Are there any details of, like, the past records of these races? Perhaps you could talk to Iris about that. Yo, Iris! Are you close enough to hear me yell your name? Yeah, I think we're right next to the booth. Yeah, Iris is a little off by the booth. You all are at the corral right now. You'd probably have to walk back over to talk to him. Okay, could I go walk back over and inquire to see any sort of, like, race records? Yeah, let me deal with Tove real fast and I'll jump back to you here. Tove, which Verma Stang were you interested in? Terry! Come here, Terry! It's me, Tove! Hello! And you rolled a one on your animal handling. I mean, some may say that that is a critical fail, but, you know, that's a pro interpretation. This Verma Stang has a ruby-colored mane. And it sees you calling and it smiles at you. How cute! Oh! Revealing a mouthful of razor teeth. Of course these things have razor teeth! What a big, beautiful smile you have, Terry! Wow! You want some pets? You want some scratches behind the ear? Terry's just smiling, razor teeth exposed, looking straight at you. I think I'm going to go in for a scratch! Come here, Terry! Come to papa! Make another animal handling check. All right. It's another one! Yikes, dude! What happens, Gus? I listen, I have inspiration dive, but I like this. Terry seems unmoving and very stiff as you give him scratches. Like, normally, you know, an animal, like, leans into it. Not Terry. Terry's just, like, stiff as a board as you're screeching it. Seemingly unnerved by the metal humanoid, it probably knows. Who's a good Terry? Who's going to win the race? Is it you? Oh, there's the spirit! All right, let's come back over to Doug approaching Iris. You walk back over to the bed and go to Doug and Iris is there, kind of standing around and he sees you walking up. Oh, Iris, I was wondering if you had any sort of records on past vermusting races, especially these four guys that you got over there. Oh, yes, and what are you interested in, specifically, like, who won the last race, that kind of stuff? Yeah. Let me see, let me see. He goes into the booth, opens up a notepad, looks this. Oh, why it looks like El Angel won the previous race. Okay, what about the one before that? The one before that, let's take a look here. The winner of that one was Terry. Oh, okay. What about the one before that? The one before that, we have, oh, Terry again. Oh, Terry was on a hot toad. And just one more question, what about the one before that? The one before that, oh, uh, whoo, Pop and Fresh. Oh, okay. And maybe just one more, what about the one before that? Oh my God, what is this kind of, let's see, before that was Wester. Okay. Okay. Sounds to me, Pop and Fresh is due for a win. So, El Angel, Terry, Terry, Pop and Fresh in West door. Yes, that's right. Well, you're pretty good about that. And one more question. Yeah, I thought we were going to keep going though. Just one more thing here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And was there one, when the guy in particular came in second place most of those races? Yes, let me take a look. I just had a little fun. How long of a history of these wins have you guys prepared before this recording? I'm ready to answer all questions. Second place was Terry, El Angel, Pop and Fresh, Wester and El Angel. I'm very curious if Barbers actually is using some sort of system here. Yeah, I've never been to the races, but we're off to them. You know, I thought there'd be some methodology, but there's something in this. There's something in this pattern that is not adding up. Uh-oh. The math's not mathin'. You know, if El Hanel, I'm calling El. I'm not very good at pronouncing that name. The time, Joe. El came in first, Terry came in second. The next one, Terry came in first, El came in second. Third one, Terry came in first, Pop and Fresh came in second. Next, Pop and Fresh won, Wester came in second. So, you know, like it's kind of going, they're kind of cycling in a way. Okay. Well, Barb is genuinely trying to figure this out. I think I'm going to put my money on Terry. Okay, okay. What? Terry's my main man. Yeah, Iris perks up at this. Oh, yes, are we placing some bets now? You can bet as much gold as you want on one mount. So, you can pick one mount if you want, Doug. My gut instincts wanted Pop and Fresh, but my analytical brain thinks Terry. Go with Pop and Fresh, make it interesting. Okay, I'll put five on Pop and Fresh. Five gold on Pop and Fresh? And are you going to be riding today, Doug? We can ride it. What? I'm sorry, what? I did not realize that was a factor. Oh, is this your first time here? I'm sorry. I thought you'd bet on the races before foolish me. Yeah, if you want, you can choose to ride and half the winnings go to you and half go to whoever places the bet. Okay, this got interesting. Tov has arrived by this point. Can I instead ride Terry? Yes, you must ride whoever you place your bet on. All four of you make a perception check right now. I bet I would make a good jockey as I am little. Six. You are a little 16. Five, 13. Okay, I'm going to use that in a second. I just want to get it out of the way right now. So will you be betting on Pop and Fresh or Terry? So you're going to ride Pop and Fresh? Yeah, why not? Okay. It could carry a lot of weight, right? Oh, yes, yes, yes. No, you'll be fine. Jackie, sorry. Not known for being bugbear sign, bugbear. What's the age requirement for riders? If you can sit, you can ride. Okay, I'd like my little angel, Gigi. Actually, do I have to bet to ride or can I just ride? Because I ain't got no money. I'll give you five gold. Okay, you can have whatever I win. Okay. Okay, thank you. You went Pop and Fresh. You want Terry. Gunther was a good. At least El Angel or Wester. Okay, Gigi can ride Wester and bet on Wester. Five gold on Wester and my perfect little son. All right, make that Gigi roll. Oh, come on, Gigi. That's a 13. That boy's getting on the horse. Okay. Worm thingy of nightmares. I like to think he's doing that thing where he's like reaching up and like making like grabbing motions with his hands. Like he wants upies. Yeah. All right. So that's five gold on Wester and Gigi's riding. Yeah. All right. Anyone else? I shall do 50 gold upon on hill for years, an angel that shall fly. Okay. 50 gold and you're riding? Yes. I trust on held and I believe on held trust me now. That wasn't an answer to Gus's question. Yes. Okay. Okay. What about you told? Hold of and Terry double T. Turn down on Terry and yes, I will be riding. Oh, everyone's right. Well, Gigi's riding for Natty, but everyone's riding. Everyone's betting good. All right. Let's get everything set up and get these races underway. Natty does change Natty's attire through her morphing abilities into a very fancy racing like dress and a face. Oh, nice. Very appropriate. All right. You all lead your verma stangs out to the starting line. There's little stalls with the gate in front of it. And Iris is watching it from the side. And with a flurry of magical explosions go on. On your marks, get set. The gates open and from the top of the practice. All of you hear a loud blood curdling scream. A loud blood curdling scream. No! Nanny looks up at the top of the crag. We'll find out what Nanny sees in the next episode of Pales from the Stinky Dragon. We got a lot to start the next episode. We got a race, we got a potentially a murder up on top of crag. It's true. It's gonna be packed. But before then, of course, you can also listen to Second Wind, where we'll be talking about the Meat Grinder table and about some of the stuff from this episode and other things we got going on. Again, you can check that out at stinkydragonpod.com. Her opinion on the hyenas from The Lion King and which M. Night Shyamalan movie is so bad, it's good, actually. Another episode is dropping this week with special guest Jacob Fullerton, the voice of a headless horseman and other lovely characters. It's exclusively available for Little Stinkers and above at stinkydragonpod.com. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free? You can support us by becoming a patron at stinkydragonpod.com. Or join us as a member on beacon.tv. Both give you early ad-free access and a member-only Discord for each platform. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks? Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows behind the scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only livestreams, stinky community events, and a shout-out on the show, just like Kyla Solstice. Wes. Lil Fluff1314. Jonathan Healy. Moran. Comedina. These patrons directly support the show, get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Sick at Wind and behind the screen, and other Stinky perks. In fact, here's a sneak peek from the latest episode of Behind the Screen. In order to keep things loose and you try to keep things as pivotal as possible, which I think this is an interesting conversation to have because the way the modules are written out, it's like you're not ready for everything the players might do, but you're ready for a lot of things the players might do. But at the end of each module, and this is a real peek behind the screen here, Chris might not even know this, like the specific end of each session isn't written. You have a list of cliffhangers and stingers that are possible. It's like generic cliffhangers and stingers, and it's like, can any of these be applied to the specific session we're in? You've got 10 different options for different styles of cliffhangers, and depending on how things have played out in the session, as we're going, as we're nearing, whenever we're going to stop recording time, you and I will typically have a conversation like, oh, which of these can we do, and how can we use one of these to create a cliffhanger that'll keep, in our case, keep the audience engaged and make them want to come back and find out the answer to what's happening. Once again, that's StinkyDragonPod.com. We're incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible. Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, and listeners who interacted with us on the StinkyDragon Discord had NPCs named after them. Private Private Parts voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben. Shannon named after Shannon Logan, voiced by Ashley Burns at Ashley Burns from Morning Somewhere and Rooster Teeth. Iris named after Little Sector voiced by Eric Bidore at Eric Bidore from Regulation Podcast and 100% Eat. Elan Hel named after Angel Kite, Pop and Fresh named after Pop and Fresh. Terry named after Kaja. Wester named after Andreas Westerman. This week's Arrow Question was submitted by Lorena Hample, Winwin, Fred Jordan and Luscus. This episode of Tales from the StinkyDragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited and composed by me, Mike Reisinger, with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold and David Stanie. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the StinkyDragon. I'm Chris Maris. I play Gunther the Fighter. Flatbigger. He sees a squirrel on the street outside. He's very excited about your character. He's got a backup guy. He's Gunther the Fighter. Woof, woof! Booger the Hype Man. Yeah. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the StinkyDragon.