The Adventure Zone Royale: Episode 11
54 min
•Oct 23, 20256 months agoSummary
The Adventure Zone Royale Episode 11 concludes the Trial of Evocation with a four-way elemental battle on the Isle of the Octave Ziggurat. The swamp thing team, allied with the Christmas tree elemental, faces off against the house and Titanic elementals in a strategic combat encounter that ends with the swamp thing's elimination and the Titanic claiming victory.
Insights
- Narrative tension in actual-play D&D comes from player agency and moral choices, not just combat mechanics—the decision to spare the house despite game requirements created emotional weight
- Alliance-building and negotiation can be as mechanically important as combat rolls in determining trial outcomes
- Environmental storytelling and descriptive consequences (swamp degradation, building destruction) enhance player immersion and stakes perception
- Podcast production quality benefits from transparent mechanical communication and dice roll visibility to maintain audience trust
Trends
Actual-play D&D podcasts increasingly emphasize narrative consequences over pure mechanical optimizationAudience engagement with tabletop content driven by character-driven decision-making moments rather than combat resolution aloneSponsorship integration in narrative podcasts requires seamless transitions to maintain listener immersionMulti-team competitive formats in actual-play shows create natural dramatic arcs and elimination stakes
Topics
D&D 5e Combat Mechanics and Advantage/Disadvantage SystemsElemental Creature Design and Stat BalancingNarrative Consequence and Player Agency in TTRPGsAlliance Mechanics in Competitive Multiplayer EncountersPodcast Production and Sponsorship IntegrationActual-Play Show Format and Episode StructureCharacter Curse Mechanics and Story ResolutionEnvironmental Hazards and Terrain Effects in Combat
Companies
Squarespace
Podcast sponsor offering website building and domain services with drag-and-drop templates and no coding required
Rocket Money
Podcast sponsor providing personal finance app for subscription tracking, spending categorization, and bill management
People
Griffin McElroy
Dungeon Master and co-host running the Trial of Evocation encounter and managing game mechanics
Travis McElroy
Player controlling swamp thing elemental and making strategic combat and alliance decisions
Justin McElroy
Co-host and player participating in the competitive trial encounter
Clint McElroy
Co-host and player rolling dice for swamp thing's dexterity saves and opportunity attacks
Quotes
"Every episode could be somebody's first. And every episode could be somebody's finale."
Griffin McElroy•Opening remarks
"I'm struggling to strike the final blow. I understand what the game requires, but I'm struggling to finish off an opponent who has already yielded."
Loraveth (player character)•Mid-combat moral dilemma
"We could take damage. I tell you if we... but whoever is in control of the Christmas tree is not having it."
Hasty Jane•Final combat sequence
"I need fire. I need to burn my skin."
Trace (NPC)•Post-trial cleanup
Full Transcript
Previously on Taz Royale, aspirants are now in direct control of the elemental you have evoked. To the east, you see a towering tree. You recognize it as a Christmas tree. To the northeast, you see a two-story ranch-style house. And to the north, you see the water team, the Titanic. Everyone's after you all. You have a team came to my aid and can fit to gang up hiding the trees, hiding the trees! But if everybody agrees to be cool and work with us, I can help and let you go. Well now it seems we've got a fair fight on our hands. Uh-huh. Welcome back to Taz Royale. We are in the throes of the finale of the trial of evocation. Are evokemoner fighting? Well only one team will die. Every episode could be somebody's first. And every episode could be somebody's finale. That's right, dad. We should try to have a satisfying conclusion. To be fair, Justin, they might just not like us anymore. I just want a bunch of people who have stopped listening because they're like, I got a sword that was the end. It was so satisfying. To set this stage, our four evokemon are currently battling it out on the Isle of the Octave Ziggurat. You all embodying the elemental swamp thing, a 25-foot tall, goopy, mucky, swampy creature. Have found yourselves aligned with the Christmas tree elemental, the team comprised of hasty Jane, uh, Richtus is good buddy, uh, as well as Gunk, Dr. Ligyum and Burgerman. You two are squaring off. Burgerman is one I've been trying to shoehorn it. Like every time you roll to see like which NPC you interact with, I always pray it's Burgerman, but he's, he's remaining the shadows so far. You are squaring off against two elementals, one, a big old house. The house has been created and occupied by the gladiators, raise, days, haze and blaze, and they are joined by the fucking Titanic. A giant metallic living ship, which has been created and embodied by a few wizards you haven't met, Oregon, Hilda and Inigma, and one that you have run afoul of a couple times already here on the island, the gentleman from WizBerry. So we have the house in the Titanic versus the Christmas tree and the swamp thing. Tale is old this time. Tale is old as time, natural predators. Christmas tree is a bit banged up largely because of you. They were trying to join in the ambush against you and tell you, I mean, herkdom really bad and then convinced them to, to join your side. And so that is, everybody else's house is a little banged up, Titanic's a little banged up, I think swamp thing has not been hurt yet. So you also spent most of the last episode hiding, so. Well, I mean, no, I mean, it was a great, it was a really good strategy, I was really proud of you. So next in the order is the Christmas tree. They are, they size up the Titanic in the house and they realize like the house is going to be much easier to defeat. Just a reminder of the stakes, the first team to be eliminated will perish. The other three teams will receive sort of rewards based on how they place from there. So nobody really wants to go out first here. With that in mind, the Christmas tree is going to charge forward towards the house and shoots out a few tendrils of Garland. I'm going to roll a D20 on the table here as they try to ensnare it. That is a seven. They are unsuccessful. They smash out a few windows with their, with their tendrils as they attempt to wrap it up to, you know, weaken it, but they are unsuccessful. All the damage that they have done appears to be purely cosmetic. Next up is the Titanic. Noticing that the Christmas tree is a bit weaker, I think they are going to go for them just based on the strategy of no one wants to go out first. Everyone wants to kill someone before they themselves get off the Titanic. Do they take an opportunity attack if they move by us? Who moved by you? Oh, you know what? Yeah, you're right. In order to reach the Christmas tree, they are going to have to wonder by the swamp thing. I will let you roll that opportunity of taxance. It was your idea, Travey. I guess just the basic attack of swamp thing here is the 19 on the dice. Great job, Trave. That's a 19 plus 8 for the tindral lash. So go ahead and roll 2d8 plus 5, belledgeting damage. Yeah, 13 on the dice. Oh boy. So 13 plus 5, they are going to take 18 points of damage. You also, with a tindral lash, they have the grappled condition. So their speed is going to be reduced to 0 and they have disadvantage on attack rolls against any target other than the grapplers. So strategic change here. You hear the gentleman from Whizberry sort of psychically project out. Oh, okay. I see how it is. You want to... Teta-teta-t, a duel? I like my odds. He is going to try to drop the anchor of the Titanic directly onto the head of swamp thing. This is a plus 8 roll. Yes, 14 plus 8 is going to hit the AC of swamp things AC is 17. So yes. You take 21 points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. Mark on the token on this big tabletop we're playing on. And I guess that's the anniversary. He can't save because that's an action to try to break out of grappling, I believe. Next in the order is the house. Can we talk to the house? I guess we're talking as a free action. Absolutely. Hey, gladiators. I know that we haven't hung out or anything, but real quick. Just to kind of like get you guys on the same page of where we are in the situation. Even if you guys take one of us out first, the Titanic team is just going to turn around and knock you out. Like, their goal is to get the gold. But if the three of us were to take them out, it's a pretty even match as to which one of us would get gold. Right? That doesn't really sound sporting three on one. This is days by the end. That's what you were going to do before. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. This is Hayes. He's got you there. You do have actually a pretty good point there. But did you see how big and heavy he is? This is plays by the way. Did you see how big and heavy? How are you going to kill a ship? That's crazy. I think it would probably be smart for us to focus on the weaklings first so then we can engage an honorable combat. That doesn't sound honorable. Like you heard it, right? I did hear it. Make a persuasion check here. In order to convince them to fully change sides, I think you can... Well, that's a three, Griffin. Yeah. Three plus one is a four. If that makes any difference. Sorry. There's nothing honorable about going back against an agreement. And we had an agreement with Titanic first. I get that. Yeah, I understand. The seeds of doubt have been sewn. Not on a four, man. That's not on a four. If anything, the seeds of truth are taken to the sea. Followed by a man. Jeep roots. Okay. They are going to... You see the house sort of unnaturally bend at its midsection and a... That's a foundation issue. You've got to get that checked. You've got to a burst of flame shoots out of its chimney towards the Christmas tree. There's a 13 plus six and 19, which almost certainly hits a tree. Yes. Okay. And... Okay. The Christmas tree takes 19 points of fire damage. They are back to bloodied. You see some of the ornaments starting to fall and shatter to the ground off of the Christmas tree. Oh, baby's first Christmas broke. Start to sag. And we are back to the top of the order, which is... The popcorn's on fire. Swamp thing is up. Now, I believe Rixis was last to pilot. So we will... I don't think it's very interesting for me to take a turn as Scorpos. What would you do, Griffin? As Scorpos? You know... You hear Scorpos psychically say... Well, hellgram it. You tell bugs what to do, right? So what do you want me to do? I would suggest that you use your... Your sting on the feet of the house. Um... He looks down at the nasty feet of this two-story house and says... You want me to sting its big feet? It's a big nasty feet. Yes, you have a... You have a sapping sting, do you not? Um... Yeah, I guess so. Because if you can attack the feet, I have an idea for the rest of it. Okay, if I ever get another turn, it's a little bit gross. Um... I don't know who my tail's going to reach it, so... He is going to tendril lash at the house's feet and... Uh... It gets a dirty 20. So you see him whip his... Whip his lash around the feet, dealing ten points of damage to the house. Who is not quite bloody yet. Uh... And then for the next action here, it uses real. The sewer thing pulls each creature grappled by it up to 20 feet straight toward it. That includes the Titanic and the house. Uh... So it just kind of pulls them both away from the Christmas tree into range of... Of... Of you, something. Uh... Okay, you have both of these... Your opponent's sort of bound up here. Uh... Next in the order is the Christmas tree. You hear Hasty Jane say, hold him still. Uh... And they are going to launch a volley of pine needles at your two opponents. Uh... They get a 5-1 on their decks saves. They are both going to take... 15 points of piercing damage. Uh... With that, some of the sighting is starting to peel off of the house. Uh... Almost all the windows are broken. Uh... The house is in pretty rough shape. Um... The Titanic is going to try to break grapple. Uh... That is... Wow, they have a... Oh, is it the start of its turn? It is. It needs to make a constitution saving throw to avoid taking the damage from being close to the... Swamp thing. Because we have toxic aura. Oh, fuck yeah. Like one of those friends that only talks about themselves and doesn't like let the other person bend their things. That's our toxic aura. They have immunity from poisoned status. Oh no, and they also have immunity from poison. They are a big boat. So... Yeah, that's fair. Hard to poison a boat. Hard to poison a boat. That's always been my experience. I have no side of tried. Uh... Okay, so this is a... Strength saving throw 21. They are going to break grapple. Um... And they are just going to charge full steam ahead into, uh, team Christmas tree here. Uh, so... I mean, was that Titanic's turn or were they just escaping the grapple? Breaking grapple is the action. And he's gonna move away. This is another opportunity attack. Dad, why don't you roll this one? He's gonna try and move towards the Christmas tree just to kind of like get out of range of... of Swamp thing. Um, so this will be a, uh, D20, Dad plus eight, I believe. Okay. That would be, uh... 10 plus 8, 18. Does an 18 hit the Titanic? It does not. What? Yeah, the Titanic has an AC of 19. Uh, which is very good, because otherwise he was gonna be stuck in a pretty gnarly loop there of, uh... of being pulled back in over and over and over again. Can you tell me about the feet of the Titanic, Griffin? The feet of the Titanic, uh... it doesn't appear to have any visible feet. As it moves, it kind of like carves a trench through the earth. Um, it does not seem to be, uh, anthropomorphized quite as much as, as the house was. What, what method of... Ambulation doesn't seem to be employing. Magic. Magic point. Here you go. Ambulation. Okay. Great. So it's just, so the house, can I just get, I just wanted to ask Griffin. Yeah. The house needed feet to walk around. Yeah, for whatever reason the house got feet and no one else really did. I just wanted to see... There's an internal logic here that I just want to absorb myself in for featured historians. It's like a Baba Yaga Hut. It is sort of, it is sort of like a Baba Yaga Hut. Um... The Baba Yaga Hut. Is, is, uh, is Keanu Reeves in the house? Have we looked? What do you mean? Like the Baba Yaga? Obviously you have not watched the recent Ballerina movie as I did on a flight to Travis. No, I don't think anyone's watched the recent Ballerina movie, Dad. Yes. I did on a plane. Except you. Yeah. I will say I saw John Wick in Waiting for Good Dove. That is where he is. So I'm sure fucking jealous that you got to see that, man. Um... Okay, so, uh, the house you see... Waiting for... Waiting for Doggo. Like, cause the dog in John Wick. Yeah. Yeah. So the lights start to flicker inside of the house. And... Back it would have loved that, Travis. Thank you. You feel a, uh, a pulse of necrotic energy channel through this house. Oh, man. And, uh, because you have it sort of ensnared, it's not going to spin its action trying to break out. Uh, it is going to, uh, attack you with this. Now, it does seem to make a concept, right? Or is it also immune to a poison? Let's see, let's see, let's see. Uh... Nope. Yep. It does need to be conscious. You can poison a house. You can absolutely poison it. Oh, yeah, that's when the love goes. Uh, that is a 19. That was really good. That was really good. That was a pretty good role. Um... It's frequently poisoned. So it is going to cast inflict wounds. Wait, the house sounds just like homes. Whoa! Whoa! It's a Sherlock story, but a doctor. In 20... Ooh, that's not very good. Uh, six plus eight, 14 is not going to hit Swamp Thing. Uh, it... Any partial damage? No. Okay, yeah, you see it try to do something spooky and nothing happens. Uh, you hear a voice say, Oh, man, this is kind of like dark magic. Is it really our stuff? Why did we make a fucking haunted house? This is so stupid. This is raised, by the way. Shit. Um, I raised. Hey. Alright, back to Swamp Thing. And now, Hellgram, you are... Uh, you do have... Obviously teamwork is encouraged here, but you do have the final save being at the top of the initiative. And it also needs to make a consaving throw for being engulfed. Is it engulfed? Engulf is an action, I think. Engulf is not an automatic delio. Uh, yeah, that is something you do on your turn. You have not engulfed it. Okay, so we only have engulfed was... Yes, right. Uh, okay. And we do have access to our own magic, right? You do have access to your own magic. It does not, as you have discovered in the last episode, it doesn't quite scale. Um, so, you know, the bugs you create will be the size of the bugs you would create as, uh, as Hellgram it. Um, but you do have access to all of your spells, yes. Okay, in comparison, I know it's a big house, but is it bigger than a normal house? It is a two-story ranch-style home. Okay. Then I cast Swarm on it. Okay. And I'm going to shoot a whole mess of termites through its open mouth. That's very good. I like that actually a whole bunch. What level are you casting the spell at? I am casting infestation. I guess... Say, eight, he doesn't know. No, it has to be first level because it doesn't scale up until, uh, I hit level five. You reach fifth level, yes. Because this is a cantrip and cantrip scale, uh, with the wizard's level and not with the spell-slot level. Okay, right. Um, but I would also, but if I may, and I know this is bending a little bit, would you not say that being infested with... Oh, for sure. No, I like the termite thing a lot. It is... You're going to make an attack roll or is this a... No, con save for them, okay. This is a... Their con save is pretty good. Termites is a very fun idea, very gnarly. Uh, I'm going to say you cast this, uh, it'll be 3d6 instead of just 1d6. Okay. If they fail their save. Uh, con save plus six. Ooh, I mean, that's pretty good. Uh, 23. Oh, yeah. That is a big, uh, 13. Just quite good. Um, here's what I'll say, no damage dealt, but, uh, the house does seem to be quite distracted by the bugs. You hear the, uh, sort of frenzied, uh, panicked conversation of these four almost identical gladiator voices, uh, as these bugs start to climb around inside of it. You didn't deal any damage with this attack. Um, but they are, I mean, they are grappled by you. They are very distracted by these bugs. They are in a bad sort of way. Next in the order is the Christmas tree. Um, Christmas tree is what can they do? Are you asking me? Oh, oh, oh, oh, needles, needles on the ground. Did you have a... That tripped up Travis for? Are you asking? Yes, Travis did as a child get a pine needle in his foot for a long time. Uh, okay, they, uh, are going to use flaying leaves, right? Yes, needles launching a barrage of razor sharp, uh, cold iron needles from his branches. Did I ever tell you guys after that I was able to hear the thoughts of pine trees? Did I mention that? I did not know that. Okay, all three of the competitors here are within range of this attack. Everybody is going to make a dexterity saving throw trying to beat a DC-15. Even us? Yes, even you. Lord of it, Juice, why don't you roll the dex save for Swamp Thing? Uh, your dex save here is only plus one. So you need to get 14 around here. Uh, I'll just roll a 20 here, yeah. The Titanic fails. Uh, how succeeds? I roll the seven. Okay. So, uh, there's just this huge, uh, storm of, uh, sharp needles that come flying into your swampy body. Holy shit, Jesus Christ. What? Uh, okay. The Titanic, uh, is the deck of it is barraged by these needles. You see, uh, chairs, furniture, uh, that was up there, conflying off, uh, the house. The deck chairs, they're completely rearranged from how they were before. Oh, man. It seems futile, but for some reason it's working. And a bunch of the other deck chairs, somebody's already put their towels on them to reserve them, so we can't use them. Yeah, brutal. That's bad. So, this sort of, uh, clumps down to the ground and plants its foundation and only takes half damage from the attack, but the house is still looking pretty rough. You all take the full brunt of it because you are sort of, uh, in this exact moment, so focused on keeping the house all tied up. Uh, you take 34 points of, uh, piercing damage. Uh, and you are bloodied here at 37 hit points out of 92. Uh, you hear the voice, uh, you hear Bergerman say, sorry about that. I thought you guys were out of the way. Each shit program has. Okay. Uh, and, uh, Each shit program has. Just a quick rundown now that I realize you all can't see the health of all of these tokens. Titanic is still above half health. Uh, the Christmas tree is just below half health. You saw it starting to, uh, wilt a bit. Uh, the house looks really bad. The house looks, uh, looks, looks quite rough. All of its windows busted out, siding hanging off. Uh, and you as swamp thing, like you can feel it becoming harder and harder to kind of move your, like, all of the swamp that makes up your body. It's getting harder and harder to move it all along with you parts of it, which is kind of like sloughing off as you go. Uh, okay. The other thing in the order is the Titanic. Uh, seeing that its house friend is kind of on the ropes is going to make a kind of desperate play here. You see the Titanic just sort of start to lean and fall over, uh, on to the Christmas tree trying to crush it beneath its, um, massive weight. No, man. And rolls a 29. What? The 29. How? Uh, how to do that? 18 plus 11 is a 29. Wow. Yes, you should be able to see these rolls in the dice log. I don't know if they're showing up publicly or... Yes, it's just real big. Um, well, wait a year about this, man. Uh, that is 3D 12 plus 7. They got a 10, a 12 and 11 on the dice rolls. That is 40 points of bludgeoning damage. Uh, they are, uh, now pinned underneath of the Titanic. Uh, and you see the top of the Christmas tree has snapped like completely off and rolled a few feet away. Um, now the Christmas tree is definitely the most, uh, injured of all of the, uh, all of the things here. Uh, and the house, I think, knowing that it's either probably the house of the Christmas tree at this point, they are both like at their weakest, uh, is going to try to make an attack roll against the Christmas tree to finish it off however you do. However, you do have it grappled. Uh, and so we will have disadvantage on this attack roll. Oh wow, they rolled a 5 and a 5 plus 5 is 10. Uh, neither of those attacks are going to do it. Uh, knowing that... They need to make a constitution saving throw that the house does. The constitution saving throw for the poison, yes, thank you. You're welcome. It's just like our main thing. Yeah, sure. Uh, 18. Yeah, so I believe you can save. Uh, okay. Uh, you now hear the voices of the gladiators. We're back to the top of the order. It is a swamp thing and it is loraveth kind of at the head. Uh, you hear, uh, hey, just so actually, now that we think about it, the four of us have been talking. This is days. And we think it would actually be a great idea for the three of us to team up against the Titanic. That sounds great. We, and it would be a great contest. And is this, is loraveth on that team? Hmm. Seems very convenient now, doesn't it? It's, loraveth, we talked to your buddy and, um, he said that you were like, this is Hayes, by the way. He said that you were like, uh, really honorable warrior type. So, uh, yes, I offer, I think it is the only honorable offer a partnership ones. Okay. Oh, okay. So, what is this? You are up, loraveth. Swammy. I'm going to, uh, is there a window within reach? Oh, yeah, for sure. All the windows are punsed out. I love this. They're all busted out. Yeah. I'm going to punch in one of the windows. Okay. I really just, I'm not interested in that. Okay. You have a, uh, a multi-attack. You make two things and, uh, can use in golf. So, uh, roll of D20 is going to be plus eight. Uh, the number you're trying to beat, I will tell you, is 14. Okay. So, I got 17 plus eight 25. Uh, yes, absolutely. You are going to roll damage. That is going to be, uh, 2D8 plus five. That is seven plus five 12. Okay. That is the first attack done. What else? Um, I'll go ahead and just, how, how are they looking after that first attack? Uh, the lights are starting to flicker, uh, off as if there is a, uh, like the fucking torqual sends going to bed. Like, one by one, the lights are starting to click off in the, in the house. They're looking real bad. Uh, house. Yeah. Do you, you, absolutely. All right. Second attack goes right at the hole of the Titanic. Oh, right. And it's a majestic figurehead, the classic beautiful mermaid that we all love at the front of the Titanic. You know, the figurehead of the mermaid. The perfect, beautiful, busty mermaid at the front of the Titanic that we all love. Okay. And then, uh, plus, uh, plus eight, uh, you're trying to beat a 19. It'll do 24 me. We all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all. Uh, five. It's an extremely bad role to not win when you got an extra eight. Yeah. But a five is going to do it. And it doesn't feel too great. Uh, you're vine. Try to punch the Titanic right in. It's juggie front. Now you embarrassed yourself and you look like quite a jerk. Oh, good save. You guys remember the old days back in episode 10 when we rolled really, really good. So good. That's where we're really good. Okay. Uh, as part of the multi attack, you can make two attacks and using golf. You're second attack against the Titanic bounces harmlessly off of the hole. Um, you hear the house say, uh, so you're going to let us, let us go or, um, yeah, I'm not addressing the house. The house is yielded. I don't know why I have to speak to house anymore. Um, the house is to, is it to the death? Is that what it has to be? Yeah. I mean, must it, the first team to be eliminated dies. That is the, those are the stakes of the game. I am, I'm asking you, I'm yelling. I'm yelling. I'm, I'm yelling now. Swamp thing is yelling. Okay. Must we. Uh, you hear Hasty Jane say, yeah, it would be great if you could kill them before we die. It's just a question of if you want to engulf them or not. If you don't want to, you do not have to. You have it grappled. You have fulfilled the conditions. So, uh, the, um, of the Titanic, right? You have the house, you have the house grappled. Part of your multi attack is you make two attacks and using golf. If you do not want to use engulf because the house is yielded and you do not want to try to finish it off. Yeah, I'm not going to, I'm not going to finish it off. No, absolutely not. Okay. I can't, it's not, that's not now. That's not the lower vith way. Lower vith if we don't do something to take out the house then the tree is going to die and they were Alice first, right? I, I, I, I'm, can we, we're talking within our own head. Yes, this is all a telepathic kind of like conversation. Okay. I'm struggling to strike the final blow. I understand what the game requires, but I'm struggling to finish off an opponent who has already yielded the treatment between his life. I'll do it. It's a trade, right? Life, a spirit for a spirit. We had, we have a team that was willing to help us and now this team with failure inside is willing to help us. Who do we want as a future ally? I don't want either one. Yes, bug man, imagine all surprise that you are loath to form partnerships. So I, I tell you, Richtus, you strike. You hear the voice of Scorpos say, yeah, Richtus, you should take this one. Okay, thanks. Okay, Scorpos. Yeah, thanks. Frankly, none of us were on pins and tend to hooks one ring of our opinion. Okay, Scorpos. It is important. Okay, Scorpos. That Richtus take this one. Yeah, I was going to. Thanks. So with them grappled, we have advantage. Yes, you've only used one of the attacks of the multi-attack if you want to. Okay, so a 14 and a 6. And we have a plus 8. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, 2, d8 plus 5. You would have to roll pretty shitty to not 6 with 5 11. The house is surprised. Do you hear a gasp of surprise after they yield as the tendrils of swamp things smash in through the windows and begin wrapping around rafters and beams and splatting on to the floor, ripping up floorboards. It is a violent destruction, a violent deconstruction of this house as all of its planks and drywall and insulation and roofing tiles are ripped into the swampy form of your body and pulled downward. Eliminating the house and the four gladiators from the competition as that happens. Rictus, you see standing right where the house was moments ago. That statue of the specter of death that you bargained with and were cursed by before this trial began. You see it nod and as that happens, you feel the curse release. And it hasn't been affecting you as badly inside of this swamp thing body because it was a curse of the body and you don't really have your own at the moment. But you can feel this dark presence, leave your consciousness and moments later the statue vanishes. What the hell was that? I feel like I'm, wait, are we still in swamp thing or something? What needed to be done to break it? We'll talk about this later. We'll talk about this at home, Scorpio. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. You've heard us talk about Squarespace so many times over the years because they are one of our most loyal and generous sponsors. But did you also know that we're not just paid spokespeople, we're clients too, man. 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Lots of really, really great stuff this month and 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will be donated to border angels whose services include educational programs, water drops in the desert, day laborer outreach, religious reunite, immigration bond fund program and shelter aid support in Tijuana to aid migrants and asylum seekers in need. I also want to let you know that I have a book coming up very soon. It's a choose your own adventure book. It's called The Stowe Away. It's appropriate for middle grade readers but I think it's a rollicking adventure, a survival tale set in outer space that anyone would get a thrill or two out of. There's entry, there's action, there's stunts, there's everything that a book can have. I think those are the three right I said action and stunts right? Yeah, no, that's all of it. So you can pre-order that now at bit.ly slash Griffin Stowe away and it would be gosh just a huge help to me if you would consider doing that. The book is $10 and it comes out again on March 10th. So don't wait, go ahead and secure your copy today. That's it. Enjoy the rest of the episode. We will be back with a new one in two weeks. So talk to you then. Bye. Hey, it's TV chef, fantasy league. You know the podcast where we watch cooking competition shows and we treat them like fantasy sports. Right now we're getting ready for top chef Carolinas. We spend all year covering these competitions, but now it's time for the main event the apex predator of competitive cooking television shows. We're going to be in, draft a team and play along with your hosts. Sierra Cotto, Mike Gabelon and if you want to wait, new episodes every week at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like. That's hard to sell in a promo like this. So we even listed the help of piano rock superstar Billy Joel to tell you about some of the topics we've covered. Take it away. Real Billy Joel. Did he rock spin on like son, Wilson, Charles, circle time, say good drink. Cassie's a salad tower of annoyed. Keep me up eight time capsules, Wayne's world cheese balls. Wallace even stonkey gone. Fun size all mature. They didn't stop the podcast. Except that's not true. They didn't want to do. They didn't stop the podcast. No, they actually did. That was a fact of fib. Listen to wonderful every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, real Billy Joel. No problem, Griffin. Okay, with now with the threat of death off the table, we are now battling for place to see what kind of awards will await you after the completion of this trial. Next in the order is the Christmas tree. So the Titanic is on its side pinning the Christmas tree to the ground. I think instead of trying to escape the grapple, the Christmas tree is going to attack with its tendrils to try and like hold it down to the ground so you all can kind of team up on it a little bit. And that is at 24. You see these these frantic tendrils of Garland and strings of lights whip across the deck of the Titanic. They are going to take 22 points of slashing damage. Are they? Nope, not quite bloody yet. And they are also grappled. So it's a mutual grapple. It is. We are up to the Titanic now. The Titanic. You hear the voice of the gentleman say, ah, you've eliminated my teammate disappointing. But I knew that you were the ones I should have teamed up with. This whole thing could have gone so differently. Such a shame. You're a shame. The billowing smoke stack of the Titanic is going to burst out a deafening thunderous honk. I need a dexterity saving throw from swamp thing. Traveling you roll that one for me. A four. Okay, with a plus or one. Okay, you are unsuccessful. Swamp thing. You take 11 points of damage. That has brought you down to 26 out of 92. And you are launched backwards. 30 feet. You careen towards the edge of the octave ziggurat. And very luckily you land on the observation deck. This one sort of small outcropping hanging over the side. If you had been sort of anywhere else on the island, that big honk would have been enough to push you off of the edge to your not death but elimination. And then we're back to the top of the order swamp thing. You are up and we'll say it's hellgrain. It's turned since rictus you dealt the well, but I didn't get to choose it to do. I have a thing I've been wanting to do. Okay, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, you have. You have a great thing. Okay, then yeah, technically you took a Lord of this final action there. So it is your turn, rictus. I'm going to target the Titanic's greatest weakness and hurl a chromatic orb made of ice at the side of it as it lays on its side. Oh, yeah, I can't hit the damage. But I thought you were going to say hubris. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess that's you already rolled. You already did roll damage, which is that that was maybe preemptive presumptuous. It is grab the hubris of that action. Yeah, maybe is enough to bring down the Titanic, driven. It is grappled. And that doesn't. Yeah, that doesn't. I don't think grappling is. Oh, it is prone, isn't it? Yeah, so you have advantage. Yeah. You would need you would need to get closer. You need to be within five feet to have advantage on a prone attack. Okay, I move closer. You do have the movement for that. Okay, then D20, you have advantage. So you'll roll twice and then add your spellcasting modifier. And that's a seven shit. Okay, so an eight plus what? For spellcasting modifier is plus five. 13 does chromatic or deal any damage on a miss? Let me see. Probably not. I think it's only you only deal like half damage on like a save, right? Yes, you're correct. It does not. It does not take damage. You kick ass idea. You see your iceberg that you have generated from this chromatic orb, however, go wide and fly off into the distance. Give me a history check, Richtus. Oh, okay. Well, there's a not 20 plus five. Yeah, perfect. The history of fucking librarians over here. We can't do any adventure, but like if you need us to tell you where to front, then I can see back the dawn of time. I just can't hit the broadside of literally the Titanic. There's a future he can't see. You sense you have been here on the island of the Octaves I got you have been subject to quite a few instances of really powerful divination magic of memories that are not your own entering your mind and influencing your ability to cast different spells. With a not 20 you are fully cognizant of the fact that like the Titanic, the history of the Titanic, the sinking of the Titanic is like not a thing that you knew or should have known. It was just kind of like instinctive in this moment you remembered the story of this old ship. And it is enough to kind of like even in the heat of combat kind of shake you a bit. Next is the Christmas tree. They are now going to try to escape. They are being sort of slowly squished into the grounds. They are going to make a string saving throw here. That is sufficient. They got a dirty 20. They are going to plant their roots down in the ground and attempt to recover some of their arboreal vitality here. They are going to do so to the tune of 25 points of damage. They are up to 44 out of 126. You are at 26. The Titanic is almost bloody but not quite. Next up is the Titanic. You stand up. It is going to ride itself. That is its move. Getting up from the crown. It is going to swing its anchor chain around and launch it at use swamp thing. You are now the weakest of the competitors here. That is an 18 plus 11. It is still grappled. What do you mean? By the tree. No, the tree got up and broke grapple to move away. They also broke their mutual grapple. A 29. That is going to hit swamp thing. No dexterity. This is a attack roll. You are now losing your connection to this elemental that you have created. You have gotten into a routine and swing of things here. Now it feels like that is getting harder and harder to maintain. We are back to swamp thing. We will go to hellgram at Scorpo. I do like D&D. Scorpo seems to be... every time he sees his turn he is doing it to hellgram it. You feel like he is doing that hellgram it. Purpissfully. Of course he recognizes greatness. Can we talk just for a moment since we are connected mentally? Yeah, how's your day? It's good. Not bad. I am almost dead. But listen, why don't I think going up against a Titanic is a lost cause. Right now we are fighting for second place or third place. I say we turn our attacks on the tree. So at least perhaps we will have a better shot at second place and the second place rewards. Okay, I am glad you all agree. No, I am trying to decide the difference between Travis and Rondus. Whether or not there is a descent is your turn in the initiative order of the swamp thing. Well, I guess hellgram it just wanted to let you guys know where his mind was at. So he is going to turn towards the tree and cast scorching ray. Yeah, scorching ray that is a I believe an attack role. Yes, it is. scorching ray. You hurl three fiery rays. You can hurl them at one target within range or at several. Make a range spell attack for each ray. On a hit the target takes 2d6 fire damage. Yes, you can cast this as a third level spell if you so choose which would add another additional ray. So you would have four attacks here. I would say that giant christmas tree has got to be pretty dry by this time. Do you guys have three, do you guys have third level spells? No, no, only second level spells. Okay, I take it back. You cannot do that. So you have three attacks here. Yeah, I mean the tree is looking quite quite barren even though they have healed up a bit. And they will have a weakness to fire damage here. You do have to hit your attacks though. Right. Okay, so here we go. Do do do do do that would be a 10. Attendance not hit your first ray goes behind. Sorry about this, H.C. James. It's like it's fairly strategic because you hit it with needles too. Sorry, you hear a voice say let me guess it's hellgram it. Yeah. Okay, you have two more attacks here. T.H.T.T.E. That's a little better. 23. Yeah, 23 hits. Go ahead and roll damage. That's 2d6 and we'll double it. Oh, hold two. Four points of fire damage to the Christmas tree. Okay. Okay. And a 24. 24 hits. It's 2d6 fire damage and we'll double it. Five double 10. Okay. Five double 10. You hit the tree with two of the three scorching rays. You shear off a few of its branches and you see the Christmas tree take a step back. You hear the voice of Dr. Luguin say, I told you we couldn't trust them. I mean we did kill the house so that you guys wouldn't go out first. So like, yeah, so I spared your life. It was a pretty good move kind of when you think about it. You're welcome. Give me a, give me a D4 roll rictus. This is sort of going back to the, the Hasty Jane thing. If you get a 4, they are not going to come after you. That's a 2, Graven. You hear Hasty Jane say, no, no, no, focus up. We could take damage. I tell you if we, but whoever is in control of the Christmas tree is not having it. You see them reach back a few tendrils of Garland and whip down at you. This is a, let me do 20 roll here. This is plus 10, 20 is going to hit. You see the Christmas tree damaged, but still upright, furious at the betrayal, like the third or fourth betrayal of this one sort of tree for all combat. Bring one of its flaming bows right down on top of your head swamp thing. And as, as it does, you feel yourselves sinking down into the ground, and absorbed by the dirt turning back into dormant swamp. And as that happens, you feel your senses start to fade. You feel this horrible choking as you all are in this elemental destroyed. And everything goes dark. And then a second later, you for our standing on the steps of the Ziggurat next to all of the other aspirants waiting for their turn to take on this trial. You see they are looking quite scared just at the ordeal that you all have faced. And you all can see the form of swamp thing fading into the ground as he me arms up the angel as the other two elementals continue their fight. It is. Sorry, sorry. Lauren with wonders ever. And he scoops up a handful of swamp things to remember and buy. And then he looks as that handful starts to turn fetted and and melt in his hand. And then he drops that handful on the ground. Yeah, it finds some real grass to go wipe his hand. That's really good. You all can see the Titanic cast a shadow over the Ziggurat as it rears up and brings the final blow down on top of the Christmas tree, which was in a pretty bad state. And with that, a horn sounds above the Ziggurat. You see forming right alongside you that gentleman, Corrigan Hilda, enigma to one side. To the other, you see Hastie Jane, Gunk, Dr. Luke Yume, and Burger Man. All of whom look at you all kind of nastily, even Hastie Jane in this moment looks. I don't know, kind of kind of shaken. She gives you a nod, a rictus that you take to mean like we are cool, but you get the sense that there is some bad blood there. And as that happens, a small leather sack appears in all four of your hands. It is cinched with a small clasp and the clasp on all of the sacks that you have been awarded is a sort of a dull bronze color. And you see trace appear and say congratulations, aspirants you have survived the trial of evocation. Trace says, yes, Lord of it. Do we have to clean this up or is that you're going to send someone else for this? Trace. Look, I am absolutely wretched. Look at us. She says, yes, clean, clean up. Thank you for reminding me. I must reset for the next group to take on the trial. No, I don't need to clean. I need fire. I need to burn my skin. She waves a hand. You see all of the damage that was dealt in this, this melee. Just as it did in the last trial, just instantly vanish as four more quartets begin to walk out into the field. She looks you up and down and says, oh yes, you, you are, you are quite filthy. Please, you all, like take, just take, take your shoes off or something before you go in. I am scorching ray if you want me to burn it off you. I can taste my own smell. Maximum fun. A work-road network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.