454: When Your Life Looks Fine but Doesn't Feel Right & How to Rebuild with Giselle Orentas

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Well, a podcast about wellness in all its forms. I'm Arielle Laurie, and each week I'm sharing unfiltered conversations with the people shaping how we feel, live, and look. Come for the substance, stay for the honesty, and leave with the tools to be well inside and out. Today's episode is one of those conversations that I love so much because it really feels like you are just listening to two women talk about things that aren't often talked about out loud when there are microphones on. And I really think that you are going to relate a lot to it, no matter where you are in life. So I'm talking to Giselle Orentas. She is somebody who has done so much deep personal work. And you can tell because she has presence and she has radiance that you just cannot fake if you're not doing that inner work. So we are talking a lot today about major life transitions and learning how to trust yourself again. And I think what makes this conversation so compelling is how honest it is. Like I said, we're talking about things that people don't always say out loud, like leaving a relationship with a good person, which I know is something that resonates with you guys so much because when I have talked about this, particularly with my divorce, a lot of people have reached out with questions about how I came to that decision and how I actually took that leap, which can be so scary. We also talk about how hormones can impact your mood and even your relationship and what confidence actually looks like as you get older. And of course we get into beauty. She, like I said, is so radiant in her forties and she really has a minimalist approach to beauty, which I love hearing because it's different from my approach. And we talk about mindset shifts that matter more than any product. It's just really thoughtful, it's nuanced, and I think a lot of you are going to see yourself in parts of this. I also wanna mention that she is the founder of Balangie and she talks about it in this episode. It is an organic, cruelty-free, hormone-balancing body oil. It's made with wild yam, chasteberry, and other botanicals. It helps to support PMS, regulate cycles. It helps with progesterone. She gave me some, and I have to say, I absolutely love it. It also smells so good. So definitely check that out and give her a follow if you're not already following her because she shares so many amazing wellness tips and she is somebody who walks the walk. So please enjoy Giselle Orentis. Hi, how are you? Good. Thank you for having me. I feel like we should have been recording when we were talking prior because that's when all the good stuff kind of comes out. But we'll be diving into all of the topics we were discussing before, like aging and you're 41, which is crazy to me. You look incredible. And you and I share a few things in common. One being we're very close in age. We've gone through some similar life experiences with our divorce and skin issues, hormone issues, you name it. And I thought that this would be a really great conversation for the audience for a number of reasons. One, I think there's such a fear around aging. And I know that 40, 41 is still young, but I know for me going thirties to forties was very daunting. And then also, you know, reinventing yourself at different stages of life and being single, you know, when you thought that maybe you would not be. And all of these things that are such real human experiences that are so relatable and yet not often talked about. So can't wait to dive into all of those things with you. But to start, I like to do a lightning round with my guests. So let's see. What is your morning routine non-negotiable? I have two morning routines because when I'm with my kids, it's one routine. And when the kids are with my ex-husband, it's another routine. When I'm with my kids, it's go, go, go, you know, but my non-negotiable is always my warm water. And I add Sheila heat to that. And I started adding Sheila heat a year ago and it has helped me so much with, with feeling like that boost of energy. And then after I go to the gym and then when I come back from the gym, I have my time to do meditation, some prayer, some form of introspection of scanning my energy and my day. And a lot of people do it at the beginning, but with my kids, it's like, I don't have time. When I'm not with my kids, I wake up earlier and I do my warm water with lemon and ginger, by the way, I do these cubes. So I just have to add the cube and the warm water. And it just like, it's so easy and fast. And then again, I turn on my, my, I have like this like incense with copal. I turn on my copal. I meditate or I pray, scan, or just read something that it's like a message that I need that day. And then I go to the gym. Like I do Pilates or yoga or lift weights, but that bubble is like so important for me. What's your workout breakdown? I love Pilates. I do Pilates like three times a week and I do yoga and I also do weights, you know, like outside of the Pilates, I'll do heavier, I'll do heavier weights. And for me, I, I love doing upper weights when I do it at myself, like legs, it's part of like, oh, like I need a trainer to somebody like to push me on that side. But, but yeah, I go to the, I work out five days a week. I love walking and every day I just have to move or do something. Even the two days that I don't do, I actually, yeah, I walk, I'll do something. Coffee or matcha, which do you prefer and which is better for hormones? I love both. I love both. But the thing is with, with coffee, I've learned so much because when I had adrenal fatigue and I was healing from that, I had to take away coffee because I did see the difference when I was like healing my adrenal fatigue and having like this protocol. And the adrenal fatigue, by the way, was because I was super stressed and there was a lot anxiety. It was more like post divorce, during divorce, like kind of thing, you know? And also I have learned that coffee can have mold. So I am very picky with the coffee, at least that I buy at home and that I drink every day, that it's tested to be mold and toxin free. And also the matcha, it has to be organic. It has to be without pesticides and all those. But I do have my coffee Coffee in the morning. And I like to do a matcha in the afternoon. Okay. So you do both. Yeah. So better for hormones. I just think it's always about balance and about picking the best quality. Sauna or cold plunge? Sauna, for sure. Always? For me, yes. For me, heat is so, so healing. Yeah. Best food for stable energy. Best food for stable energy. a good bowl with quinoa, protein, a salad that keeps me. If I have like a pasta or something, I will like crash. Same. What's your go-to hack for bloat? Hydrate more, definitely. And I would also do red light therapy and sauna and also massage, massage, massage, massage, you know, anything that needs to move, anything that needs to be heated and activated and just connecting with my body. And, and, and yeah, also scan my body. Why am I bloated? What did I, what did I eat? Also teas like ginger or peppermint are super good for bloating. Okay. Last one. What is a hormone or wellness myth that you want to retire? oh my gosh I don't know I'm hearing about perimenopause everywhere and there's other not all symptoms are perimenopause not all symptoms I think the name is just kind of like a trend and it's cool to say perimenopause but for example I was having symptoms because of I had so much stress. So when you have so much stress, you have low progesterone and that's going to make you super moody. It's going to make you have all these symptoms. So I really think that we need to, instead of just going into, into just like a progesterone cream or like all these things, I think we need to dive more, more, more deeper into what is the root cause? Why even traumas. Like what is it that I've been stressed about? What are my surroundings? What is keeping me unbalanced? And then, and then go from there. And if I really can't find the answer because I've been trying and looking for that answer, I really ask for support. But for me, it's really important to be my own doctor, to be my own healer in a way. And if I need support, I will ask for support. So yeah, I think it's more of like check what the root cause is instead of thinking that maybe is, you know, something with directly attached to hormones. It sounds like you're very intuitive and you're very attuned to your body. And I think that that's such a skill and something that takes a lot of work. and I think so many people fall into the trap of naturally following people on social media and trying to do what they're doing and there's nothing wrong with that if you're trying to be your own healer and try different things and see what works but I think that there's nothing more powerful than knowing your body how did you hone that intuition I by the way I think everybody has access to that. Everybody, but it is a muscle that we need to build. So it didn't happen from one day to another. And it's like, I actually have an episode. The name is from challenges to coaching. So it was like, you know, how to master these things so I can teach them and coach about it. And when you have that perspective, that symptoms is really your body communicating with you, your body's always communicating with you. And when you get to that curiosity of like, okay, what's happening? Let's dive deeper instead of like complaining, which is very easy to do complaining. I think you build that strength, that intuitive strength to trust yourself. We don't trust ourselves. We weren't taught that, at least not me, in my childhood. And when I learned about GMOs in 2012, I was in shock. I'm like, I can't believe this exists. I started learning about organic. And that's when I opened my Instagram. I wanted to share everything that I was eating and everything that I was learning because I was just feeling so good. when you feel good, you trust your body. You trust and you want to be curious more and more. And it's an endless journey because every phase is different. Every experience that we have also takes us to a place where we have to, again, scan ourself and see what's not working anymore and what we have to incorporate. Yeah. I think that learning to be adaptable is such an undervalued skill. And I talk about this a lot too, where it's like things that I did six months ago don't work for me now. And I think that there's a misconception that we all have. I've fallen into this trap too, where it's like, okay, well, once I get the diet right and the workout right, we think that it's just going to be this static thing forever and we're just going to feel good forever and that's it. And we're always searching for that perfect combination. That's like the panacea for everything. But really, I think the true like quote unquote magic formula is exactly what you said. It's like learning how to trust yourself, learning how to scan yourself, and then learning how to adapt and knowing when to use the tools that are in your toolbox for what. Wellness is just not this like one destination where it's like these things that you do all the time every single day. We all have our fundamental things like you were talking about in the beginning for you. for somebody else, it might look totally different. And I think that like, those are the skills that people should be focusing on. I think that what you said is so powerful. Change so many women. I'm going to talk about women. Cause I, I always say like, I can talk to women. I don't know. Like, like I don't have a penis. Like, I don't know. Like I don't know how to talk to men, but don't be afraid to change. Don't be afraid. Don't care about what other people think. If you change, like, it just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't matter how old you are. It really doesn't matter. And honestly, like when you let go of this idea that you always have to be the same and eating the same and all these things, when you let it go, you adapt you know like I wasn low in ferritin and iron So this is something that I this year I needed to to go through Oh my God why is this happening with me And not in a guilty way. I'm like very curious. I'm like, wow, how did I, how did I get here? Or what is it that I'm doing? What is it that I eat to eat more? And all these things. And, and, and you just flow in a way of not feeling, yeah, guilty for, for having something or for changing. I feel like we live in this time of hyper optimization and there is a fine line between over-optimizing everything. And we're getting so much data from every which direction. I don't know if you use wearables and what you're tracking and all of that, but I think for some people it can kind of cross over into that area of obsession. So how do you stay neutral about it all. I know. I know. You know, and I was thinking about, I was thinking about this. I'm like, cause I saw, I started seeing this, I started seeing out this device that you wear like an, like, like, like an earring. And it's not the same as the, the aura ring, but like something else. And I'm like, how are people going to connect and trust their bodies when they're always need to feel that they need to see something externally, that their body is doing good, you know? So, you know, I'm very curious and I really don't judge. I think everything is a lesson and everything that you do or you explore, it will have some effect on you, either a lesson or it's going to be something that it's going to make you better, you know, and both are, both are fine, but something that works for me, it might not work for you. Yeah. You know? So who am I to say, oh no, that doesn't work or that's going to work for everybody. If, if, if you have a different lifestyle, a different, different cells, different, different experiences, maybe that you're living at the moment. So yeah, it's very, it's very tricky. The question that I get asked all of the time, which might surprise you is what deodorant I use. I think people really struggle to find a good one. And I have genuinely used salt and stone deodorant for so long at this point. I'm really excited about this one. It is one of those products that does not feel like a typical deodorant. It's more like a really light, sexy perfume that you just happen to wear every day. And although all of the scents are amazing, the one that I always come back to is Santal. It's just that warm, elevated, slightly woodsy vibe that makes you feel put together, even if you're just running out the door or going to work out. But honestly, all of the scents are so good. This is one of the only brands where I actually had a hard time choosing and it actually performs too. So it's aluminum free. It gives you all day protection and it's just one of those easy upgrades in your routine that makes a difference. I have had people ask me what I'm wearing and it's always this, which I feel like says everything. So if you're not sure which scent to go with, they have a discovery set with all four, which is the best way to find your personal signature. So you can try Salt and Stone's discovery set to find your signature scent. Just go to saltandstone.com slash well and use the code well at checkout for 15% off your first order. Again, that's saltandstone.com slash well, and the code is well for 15% off. and I'm telling you, you're going to love them all. Let's talk about magnesium because this is one of those foundational things that is talked about in the wellness space a lot. But the nuance that often gets missed is that it's not just about taking magnesium. It's about which forms you are taking. So most supplements only include one type, but magnesium actually comes in multiple forms, each supporting different systems in the body from sleep to muscle recovery to brain function. So if you're only taking one, you just are really not getting the full benefit, which is why I like Qualia's Magnesium Plus. It combines 10 highly bioavailable forms of magnesium along with over 70 trace minerals. So it's a much more comprehensive approach. And for me, it's one of those things that supports how I feel overall. I am way more calm. I wind down more easily at night. My sleep feels deeper and more consistent. I notice a difference in recovery as well. So it's not just about sleep. It's more of a full body support system. And I really noticed the difference in my stress response as well when I am consistent with it. So if you're already prioritizing your health, but you want something that actually elevates how you feel day to day, this is such a great addition. So you can experience the most trusted magnesium for purity, potency and performance, go to qualialife.com slash well for 50% off and use the code well for an additional 15% off your order. That's qualialife, Q-U-A-L-I-A, life.com slash well, code well. Have you ever put on a full face of makeup in the morning and by the end of the day, it somehow looks worse, like heavier, cakier, almost like it's working against your skin? This happens to me all the time. You guys know that I do my pancake method sometimes when I have to reapply my makeup at the end of the day, but not when I use OG. Okay, so I have been reaching for this a lot lately. It is one of those brands that really blurs the line between makeup and skincare. So it looks like makeup, but it wears like skin. So I've been using their Crystal Contour Collection, and it's honestly one of the easiest routines. It's just three sticks. It takes maybe five minutes, if that, and your skin will still look like your skin, just more sculpted, more glowy, and more alive. The blush in particular to me is so beautiful. It gives that natural flush that doesn't sit on top of your skin. It really melts in. So it looks like just a beautiful, natural little flush. And I get so many compliments on it. People always ask what I'm wearing and it is just this. I also love that it's made with ingredients that you would actually want in your skincare. So it has things like jojoba and botanical extracts. So it feels really breathable and never heavy throughout the day. So if you're ready to raise your beauty standards, OG's got you covered. Go to og.com slash well and use the code well for 20% off. That's O-G-E-E dot com slash well. Enter the code well for 20% off. You have a self-assurance and self-possession that comes with age. I recently had Sheena from Kosas on the podcast and we were talking about this and we were talking about aging and being in your forties and how you really come into yourself. I don't know if you feel that way. And you turned 41. When was your birthday? November 14th. Okay. So you just turned 41. I turned 40 in August. So we're very similar in age. And we were talking before about, you know, for me, at least forties seemed very daunting. And when it happened, it was like kind of nothing in the way that I thought it was going to be. And it was only positive. Like I feel so far in less than six months, more confident, more self-assured, more at peace, all of the good things than I ever have before in my life. And some of that is circumstantial. And a lot of that comes with age. And I would love to talk to you about your experience with that as well, because I think for younger women or older women who are struggling with things, it's so important to just not be afraid of aging and about reinventing yourself at any age. And I have so many listeners who are younger, who are in their twenties and their thirties, and they feel like they're so old and they have to have it all figured out. And you and I both went through divorces and like, you know, things that kind of go against society. Right. So I would love to hear your experience. First, we'll talk about the aging part. And then I'd love to talk about the divorce part, if you're willing. I love my age and I'm the same with you. When I was in my thirties, seeing the forties, it was like, Oh my God, like, I don't know, you know, like, like, I don't know. I was still figuring out myself. I think when I turned 40, it was just like, okay, I have a vision. I think that it came this clarity in me that it was so, so powerful. And then at 41, manifesting in reality the vision that I had. But it comes with boundaries. And I think the more mature and the more experience we have as humans, because we can have old souls, but we still have to have the human experience. I think it just, like, no way. I took so long to regulate my nervous system, to find the peace that I'm feeling right now. there's no way somebody's going to enter my life that is not going to give me peace, you know, and, and I can be a very kind person and very empathetic and very compassionate, but I will protect my peace. If I'm not at peace, I can give peace to my daughters and both of my daughters, they are my angels, you know? So for me is a non-negotiable that, that any interaction that I have is, you know, and it doesn't have to be all always like peace and love. No, I love holding space for, for friends, but there are certain boundaries that I need to put while I am building my business, while I'm taking care of myself. And yeah, I think that's what 41 did to me. It was just like the clarity and the like, no fucks of saying like, no, this is not for me or removing myself from a person that I know it's not aligned with my life. I can relate to that so much. And I would imagine that, you know, that only increases with age. And you hear so many people who are in their forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, and they, it seems like there's a correlation between age and the amount of fucks that you give. And, you know, I think we all have this fear of getting older and I have friends who are in their seventies, you know, through like my sobriety and everything who are like, Oh no, this is the best time in my life. And like, you just become more self-assured and you have more boundaries and you have less tolerance for anything that is, you know, going to impede on your peace and your serenity and your goal and your vision and all of that. And like, I mean, I would not go back to my twenties for anything. I mean, for me, it was probably different than yours. Like I was a raging alcoholic and addict and all of that, but even just the feeling of being untethered and feeling behind, like it's normal to feel behind in your twenties and your thirties, I think. And now of course we're constantly seeing what other people are doing on social media and everything, but it's not until you get to our age where you look back and you're like, wow, like you really don't have to have it all figured out even now. Like I feel like I'm starting to figure things out that I didn't have before in my thirties, you know? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. That's what like the forties, which has only been a year, but we're talking like we're so old. If somebody's listening, like, Oh my God, they're like leaving a review right now. No, but I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. It's just like from, it's like literally from one face to another, it was something like that. It just, it just clicked. And I think, I think it's like you are clearing up so much. And I think you talked about it not too long ago. You are clearing up so much emotional baggage that it doesn't belong to you. Yeah. And I think that's very, very powerful. Your circle keeps getting smaller. I don't know about you, but like my circle keeps getting, getting smaller. And by the way, I don't want to go back to my twenties. I, my twenties was horrible. My twenties was a blackout. And I'm just going to say something in parents. It's like, I was like, I was sexually abused at 20. And after that, it was just like a mess. You know, I used to drink a lot of alcohol to numb everything out. And then, you know, I actively started healing, but many, many, many years ago, like my, my late thirties, like really, really healing. And that inner work really reflects the outside. Because if you are carrying so much shit, so much stuff, so much hate, bitterness and all that, that's going to reflect is it really is going to reflect on your skin, on your aura, on your soul. And a lot of people ask me like, why do you think? And then I'm like, you know, just, just do the inner work, clean, whatever doesn't need to be there because whatever is so heavy, you don't need to have it. And I think doing that made me just a better person, made me, you know, a better mom, like a better everything. And, and just seeing my life, how it was before and what I am right now, I'm grateful for everything. I don't have hate. I can have like bitterness for betrayals and things like that, that I'm still working on. I'm a human. And yesterday I got triggered with something and I started crying But I think honestly I just think the aging process should be something intentional not you know from the inside not something so much on the outside I love that you place an emphasis on that because when I got sober one of the most important things that I did was I looked very deep inward all of the resentments that I was carrying around all of the victim perspectives that I had And there were things that happened to me similar to you, you know, when I was out there and when I was drinking that were not my fault that I had to kind of process. But there were things that I was holding on to 20 years later, you know, that were informing the way that I was behaving and viewing the world. And I just, when I went through the process of clearing that out, it was the most transformative thing that I ever did. More transformative than any kind of like workout and supplement and diet and all of that stuff. And we tend to overlook that, which I understand because it's uncomfortable and it's, you know, it's work. And I say this all the time, but I think it's so much easier to look at like, okay, what are the lifestyle things that I can kind of modify and like, okay, yes, I can drink the green juice in the morning and I can maybe do like the five minute journal and I can work out five days a week. But I think that, and I did talk about this in a video recently, it's so important to look at the emotional baggage that you're carrying around because I think we all have it, you know, even I accumulate a lot of emotional baggage and then I have to like take a step back and go, whoa, and like take inventory and look at everything and let go of what I can. but I think that's such a core part of wellness. And you look at people who do that work and they have a different aura about them. Like you, you know, like you, obviously you're beautiful and you take care of yourself and everything, but you also have back to what I was saying before this, like self-assuredness, self-possession, this lightness about you, despite having gone through the things that you've gone through. Yeah. And, and, you know, it's like, I, I don't wish, you know because sometimes like people ask me like like things like how can you how can you say or how can you forgive or how can you say that and I'm like because I just don't want to live with that inside of me anymore and if there's one powerful thing that I can say if somebody's like in their 20s I don't drink alcohol anymore it really I went on a deep journey with plant medicine And after that, like my, my alcohol, you know, the taste, I just couldn't, it just doesn't, you know, it didn't call me. Yeah. Can I drink a little bit of something one, you know, every blue moon, like maybe, but it just doesn't call me. And one thing I can say to anybody, if it's there, if they're in their twenties is that the physically it really doesn't matter. And I can tell you so many times of like how I have had low self-esteem, you know, how I felt not like not pretty or not this and not that. And, you know, I feel it's like more something on the inside that we need to like, look more deeper, but everything comes when it has to come. You can't force somebody to look inside if it's not their time because, and by the way, we all have blind spots. Oh, for sure. Yeah, for sure. For me, like I was not willing to look at that stuff until I was completely desperate. And for me, that was my big motivator. You know, it was like I was in a rock bottom and so I had no other choice. And hopefully not everybody has to get to that point, but usually it's pain. Usually it's some kind of pain or discomfort that makes somebody willing. You know, I always say like I had the gift of desperation. That's like a saying in recovery. It was such a gift because had I not had that, I would not have been willing to do all of that work and try to live my life in a different way than I had been living. Owning a home is one of those things that sounds great until something breaks. And this is something that I know all too well, and it's never small. It's always something like a plumbing issue, HVAC going out or an electrical problem. And suddenly you're dealing with a very expensive, very urgent situation. What a lot of people don't realize is that standard homeowners insurance doesn't typically cover a lot of that everyday wear and tear. So when something goes wrong, you're often on your own figuring it out and paying for it. And that is where HomeServe comes in. So they offer plans that help protect your home systems and cover those kinds of repairs. So instead of scrambling to find a contractor in a panic, you have a 24 seven hotline and a network of local pros ready to help. It's basically like a subscription for your home. It's simple, predictable, and designed to give you some peace of mind, knowing that you're not going to be hit with a huge surprise expense. So this is definitely something that I need to get for my house because as you know, I've been remodeling and in that process, a lot of things have come up that I need to fix. So help protect your home systems and your wallet with HomeServe against covered repairs. Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Just go to homeserve.com to find the plan that's right for you. That's homeserve.com. It's not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month, your first year. Terms apply on covered repairs. If you listen to this show, then you know that I'm pretty mindful about what I'm putting in and on my body, but something that is just as important and honestly gets overlooked is what you're using in your home every single day. So most conventional cleaning products are filled with things like synthetic fragrances and harsh chemicals. And once you start paying attention to that, it's kind of hard to ignore. And this is why Branch Basics is pretty much the only cleaning spray that I use in my home, in my kitchen, in my bathroom, all over. It is non-toxic, it's fragrance-free, and it's made with plant and mineral-based ingredients. So I don't have to think twice about what I'm spraying on my countertops, near my food, or anywhere that I'm spending a lot of time. And what I love is how simple it is. So you have one concentrate and you dilute it to make everything from an all-purpose cleaner to a bathroom spray, even laundry. It replaces so many products, but it actually works, which is obviously the most important part. And I also just appreciate that it's one of those swaps that doesn't feel complicated or extreme. It's very seamless, but it really meaningfully reduces your overall exposure to things that you probably don't want in your environment. It is one of those small micro habit shifts that actually makes a bigger impact than you would think. So it's just one of those upgrades that makes your home feel cleaner in every sense, not just how it looks, but what you're actually surrounding yourself with. So right now you can get 15% off Branch Basics with the code WELL at branchbasics.com slash WELL. There has obviously been a lot of conversation around GLP-1s, and what I find interesting is how much the conversation has evolved. It's not just about weight loss anymore. It's about appetite regulation, metabolic health, and having another tool that can support people in a more structured, clinically guided way. But one of the biggest barriers for a lot of people has been accessibility and convenience. Not everybody wants to deal with injections or they just want something that feels more approachable as a starting point. And that is why this new GLP-1 pill option is getting so much attention. It offers comparable results in a format that feels a lot easier to integrate into daily life. So Rho is making that process really streamlined. It's all online. So you complete a medical visit, lab work if needed. And if you qualify, a provider can prescribe treatments based on your health history and goals. They also offer ongoing support, which I think is really important in something like this. And the pill itself is taken once daily, and it's designed to help with things like reducing cravings and feeling fuller, which is a big part of why the GLP-1s have been so effective for so many people. And Roe offers access not just to the pill, but a full suite of FDA-approved GLP-1 options, depending on what is appropriate for you. So if you've been curious about GLP-1s but aren't sure where to start, this feels like a much more approachable entry point. You can go to roe.co slash blonde to see if you're eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Roe. That's ro.co slash blonde to get started on Roe. Go to roe.co slash safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. I would love to talk about your divorce if you're willing and just what that was like. We share that in common. So I'd love to hear your story and maybe compare notes. Yeah. I mean, when I talk about my divorce, like it's nothing like other women are experiencing, even though I do get messages where I'm like, oh my, I have such a good relationship with my ex. So our divorce was conscious. It was like, what's it called? Like conscious uncoupling. Yeah, same. But there was still a lot of anger the first two years. It was just very hard. I got divorced in 2021 and we both were mutually in the same page. I did change a lot. And when you change, there's like, you just can't communicate. How do you communicate with, with someone when, when you, when you change, when you're evolving, when, so there's many things that we, we didn't know how to hold space for each other. It was like a really weird moment for everybody. You know, it was like, everything was shot or all these things. And he works in hospitality. So So I was like, I've been on social media since 2013. I've, I sold digital courses. I was doing live. So for me, the online space was nothing new. I was already doing it. So for me, it's like, oh, why don't you do something online? Why don't you use that? And it was very triggering for him because he was in hospitality. He's like, you don't understand. This is like my world. So I didn't know how to hold space for him. And he didn't know how to hold space for me when I was like, I needed to heal. I felt this call and, and I, and I was going on, on this sacred journeys, you know, to, to find more, to, to, to feel, to feel more. And everybody goes through different journeys, but at the end we try to reconnect. We did like a, let's do a reconnection trip. And we did. And when we got back, we went back to the hole and I'm never going to forget. It was like we were in the bed and he was weird. He was with his like ear pods. And I'm like, that's so weird. And then I was just trying to get his attention because I'm like, we need to talk. And we both look at the same time. And he said, yeah. And I'm like, yeah. And I know I still get goosebumps. So the first two years was really horrible. I was so scared. I didn't know anything about finances. even though I was making money. I just didn't pay attention to it. I was more into the service. I was more into creating these groups. And there was like groups of 300 and 400, you know, like 21 day reset and all these things. And I was just sharing lives. Like social media for me was like so cool. And it was like a gateway also for me to help and for me to express myself and all these things. And I'm like, wow, I don't know about finances. I'm scared. I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't passionate about what I was doing also with the digital courses and stuff. So it was a moment of full reinvention. I needed to pause. I needed to literally just scan and, and needed to take care my health because my hormones actually were all over the place. But, you know, he was angry. I was angry. And then all of a sudden we started, you know, like talking about it. And I'm like, are you dating someone? You know, it became like, we're friends. I can tell you right now that we are friends. He's the best dad. Literally yesterday he was giving me advice on something and he's great. So my divorce compared to most women, because I've heard stories, is another level. And it was still hard. I mean, it was still, because when you are so attached, you get attached to something, to someone. And I have kids, you know? So it was always like, oh, the family of four, we would go to restaurants, the trips, the holidays, the things. And those holiday trips and when it was vacation and summer, that was so, that was so sticky. So I think that was like the hardest part, but now we're in a good place where we can do literally a co-parenting trip. Yeah. Like, like it's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had a very amicable divorce as well. And same thing, kind of separation. And then we got back together, but then we kind of knew that it wasn't going to work. And the hardest thing for me was that I loved him so much and he loved me so much. And so people go, well, why would you not? We were in different stratospheres. We had the age difference and just our lives were different. And I was growing this way and he was growing that way. And we tried everything to make it work. And I always say like, I can do anger. I can do like, fuck you, fuck you. You know like if there something black and white if somebody cheated or something like that like that as painful as that would be it would have been I think easier for me than being like okay I love this person so much and vice versa, but we have to let each other go. Like that I think is the saddest thing. Oh my God. I feel you. I think it's so hard, so hard. And I get so many messages daily from women who follow me of all ages who feel like they are in a relationship with somebody who they love, who's a good person, but they know that it's not the right fit anymore and they don't know how to leave. And I'm like, oh, like I can feel it in my gut. You know, like I feel it's so scary taking that leap. And especially now with like the, you know, dating culture and just how like everybody says it's so crazy. And that fear of like, am I going to find somebody else? We all have the same exact thoughts. How am I going to manage my finances? How am I going to do this? X, Y, Z, like so much uncertainty that we're literally allergic to. I think that it's the bravest thing that you can do. And when I look at my life, like, yes, getting sober was very hard. this was harder because this was like leaving something that was like so secure a lifestyle that was so secure companionship even though it wasn't like marriage kind of love I don't want to say anything negative about him because he and I are still friends and same thing I get advice from him like yesterday we were on the phone it's so hard I get it so hard do you have advice for anybody who's in that situation where they're like, I know this isn't right, but I'm terrified. So I don't like giving advice because I think everybody's journey is exactly what they need to go through. But I do get the being scared of if you have kids or if you don't have kids, I think it's, it's equally scary when you have kids, it gets a little bit more complicated, but on an emotional level, I feel that if you stay with a person and you truly see that it's not the one, like have the courage to do more things that light your soul, you know, like, like travel alone. Like you don't have to maybe separate like right away, but travel alone. What are the things that you're not doing? You know, what is dragging you down? And, and also, by the way, see if it's because you have low progesterone. Yeah. I, with Balanji, I have learned so much about low progesterone that women can't, oh, Balanji will help you. Yeah. And in the most natural way. So I've learned so much with low progesterone where like these mood swings and there's a chemical imbalance even of what you're feeling with your husband. And I said it on a podcast the other day. And I'm like, if somebody would have told me before I divorced to check how my progesterone levels are, because maybe, you know, it could, my divorce, like, you know, I don't know. Everything is meant to be. And now that my progesterone was balanced, I don't want to get back to, you know, it's like, I don't want to, I don't want to marry him again, but I would say, check your progesterone level or use Balanji. Like it's natural, but also, yeah, everything is for the greatest good. Everything, everything that happens to us is going to teach us to, to believe in our power, to believe in ourselves, to work on that authenticity that is changing daily. You know, like last week, you are not the same as this week. As women, we change so much. Life is so amazing and it's so fun when you're aligned with the right partner, with the right career, with the right friends, if you have good health and if your health is not so good, work on that, work on you. And many, many things are just going to happen naturally. There is such a major hormonal component, especially I think around our age. And I know you said like perimenopause, getting a lot of attention. It's a very buzzy word, but I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who's in her like mid forties and she is in a great relationship, but she goes through periods where she is like completely different. And same with me. There's like a, there's a week out of the month where I am like nuts, you know, and I get like very nostalgic and my feelings are weird and all over the place. And she said, she's been looking into HRT and she ended up on these like Reddit threads or something of women who were like, I literally got divorced because my hormones were so crazy. I didn't know it. They were like, and then they got their hormones balanced or straightened out. And they're like, oh my God, what have I done? And I think that we underestimate the influence that our hormones have on us. And it's so hard when you're in that moment in your cycle and in that mindset or in that moment in your life to separate the true from the false. Like I was going through something last week where I was like feeling this thing and I was so confused and I was like, oh my God, and what am I going to do? And then I got my period and I was like, what was I thinking? Like literally it was a different person. So I love that you bring that up because I think it's so overlooked. I think it's something that we need to check more on that. Yeah. Because divorce rates do get higher in our 40s. So I think it's really, really, really important. And by the way, we are more sensitive before our period. So on the luthial phase, we are more sensitive. Something that wouldn't trigger you on your ovulation phase, it will trigger you on your luthial phase. Like on ovulation, you'll be like, what did you say? Yeah. And you would laugh and you like would continue dancing. But on Luthiel face, it's like, what did you say? Yeah. I'm kidding. You know? So I think we also need to understand those faces. But if it's really, really heavy mood swings, it's because of low progesterone. Yeah. And honestly, I thought I was a person that had this sadness in me and heavy mood swings. and I would be just a melancholic person. I'm like, this is me, you know? And I always say it, I'm a double Scorpio, like a lot of water in my charts. And I'm like, just, this is me. But when I start balancing my hormones and with the formulation, I just, the joy that I feel, and we have our ups and downs. So I'm not even talking about that. I'm always like this. No, I'm scared of people that are always like that. You know, like, what are you doing? But it's a joy. it's peace. I'm not looking for happiness. I'm actually looking for peace. It was something that made me even go further because the thing with Balanji is that I had painful periods and I had migraines, like really bad migraines. It would hit every month and I haven't had that since 2023. Amazing. I can't wait to try. You brought me some today, so I will be reporting back. I heard somebody say, and this is kind of in line with what you just said, instead of, you know, aiming to feel happy all the time, like I'm the same. I'm a little skeptical people that are like that, but good for them. But I heard somebody say, I, I'm at peace and I experienced joy. And I'm like, that is the goal. I love it. To be at peace, obviously, where human things happen. And then you experience moments of joy. Like, what more could you ask for? You know, I don't think happiness is the goal. Because what is happiness? It's so fleeting. Like, you can be happy one second and then something else happens. And you're like, I don't know. I think that we need to reprioritize what we're aiming for. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Okay. So I do want to ask you some beauty questions to close out. because obviously you're glowing and beautiful. What is the biggest beauty upgrade that you made at 40 that actually made a difference or 41? I think it started at 39. I started doing daily drainage, you know, either with a tool or with my hands, you know, and I love putting an oil, even castor oil. I love it for, for really like doing like drainage, you know, and, and not only for, for physical purposes, but also for releasing like stuck emotions that are there. And I think people that are not touching enough their face to drain and don't understand that if this is all like blocked and there's like no touch and no drainage, all the toxins are going to get stuck. So you're going to feel, you're going to feel puffy. Maybe you're going to feel like your skin is going to be irritated and all these things. Ice. I love ice therapy on my face. Like I don't do it in my whole body. I used to. The thing is like I, I learned within myself that I was getting, I was getting more stressed. So cortisol was, was going up, you know, like a day after I would do the plunge. At the moment, it would feel really good, the adrenaline, but then it would spike my cortisol. But with the face, ice, every day, I put ice on my face and I make these ozone ice. Do you know ozone? Yeah. So I prepare this water, ozone, and then I put it on ice cubes and then every day, or I can do it also with cucumber juice, mix it with water or aloe. I just love ice on my face every day. Okay. What is the one non-negotiable product or treatment that truly makes you feel or look your best aside from the ice and the ozone and the drainage? Well, I'm a very, I'm a very simple skincare routine kind of girl. I would say I have two favorite brands. I have to say it. I have two favorite brands. One skin sent me their, their whole thing and I, I loved it. And you know, it was actually in May when I was in a table with other women. And I'm like, so what are we going to do with our skin with this heat? Because my skin used to transform like to something else. And everybody looked at me like, what do you mean? I'm like, because of the heat. And a week later, they sent me this package and I started trying it and I loved it so much. And another serum that I love is from Osmosis. Osmosis? Yeah. The rescue serum, there's ozone in there and I love the smell of ozone and it really is a rescue serum. I also have my red light mask, which I love. And I do monthly facials and they use microcurrent. I haven't done anything invasive yet, like PRP and things like that. Like not yet. I guess I'm a little scared because of the skin barrier because my skin is really sensitive. So I don't know. You don't need it though. So yeah, but yeah, you know, but I'm curious. I think about these things, but I do love like the microcurrent and somebody also helping me with my face because sometimes I see what I see, but when I'm with like an esthetician, like somebody that can see more, Like I feel like that also helps me a lot. And by the way, when I stopped doing Botox in 2023, I just got a membership at a spa where I really liked the person that did my facial because I wanted to feel like I wanted that accountability. So I'm not doing Botox yet. And it could be weird when you're seeing your face change a little bit from the known Botox. but honestly I look at my pictures before and I'm like I did look a little like yeah older I don't know how to explain it it softens the face when you don't have yes it makes you more youthful yeah for sure yeah yeah and you have great collagen so it doesn't even matter you don't need it same I'm like looking at your screen well thank you so much for coming that was so fun tell everybody where they can find you and find Balanji and we can link everything in the show notes so well. Amazing. So my Instagram is giselle.orientas and you can find Balanji at balanji.com and it's like balance and energy, Balanji together. So it's B-A-L-A-N-G-Y.com. Amazing. Thank you. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed that episode. If you liked the episode and if you like the show in general, please take a second to rate, review, and subscribe. It goes such a long way in supporting the show. Follow the show over on Instagram at well.pod. You can also follow my personal Instagram at Arielle Laurie. I'm always sharing great clips from the episodes, and we also have full episodes on YouTube as well if you want to watch in entirety. Thanks for listening. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.