Yannis Pappas, Mayhem Miller, & Vinny Guadagnino - A Saturday At Hunter Mountain - Episode 926

Hey, guys. Before we start the show, we've got some great news. If you love the Legion of Skanks and you want to show it off to all your friends, we have great merch available. You know, all the original classic hoodies and designs that you love and a bunch of new stuff coming out all the time. And now, over at skanksmerch.com, we have our brand new beanies. That's right. You've still got a couple months of winter. So wrap your head in the smooth, silky essence of your favorite skank. Head over to skanksmerch.com right now and get yours today. Let's start the show. Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Nick Dave Smith, he all up in your ribs while he's talking politics. He'll get bit when you rattle by that Puerto Rican snake. And that's a poor villain, Legion of Jake. What's up? What's up? What's up? Oh, yeah. What's up, everybody? Welcome to your favorite podcast here at the Stand Comedy Club. Coming at you live, it's Davey Smith. It's the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Louis J. Gomez. I'm Big Jay Oakerson. Together we are the legendary Legion of Skanks. That's right, guys. We did it. There's no black people here. One night, we sell out a show without a single black person. How great is that? Damn. Look how happy everyone is. Oh, shit. I didn't think it was literally true. We brought our own. We brought half Josh. Yeah. Guys, don't get weird about that. We brought half a black. You brought zero blacks. Zero. Between all and none. So look in the fucking mirror before you judge us. Well, technically, half a black. What is three-fifths of one half? I'm trying to understand how that math works. Lewis, that's a long time ago. Oh, you guys aren't good at fractions? What are you, fucking nerds? Not nerds? Oh, wait, we have a hot black waitress, though. Hello. Oh, my God. So hot. The blackness in this room just jumped up by 100%. 200%. 200%. We're not a math show, everybody. We're a comedy show. And you came on a fantastic night. We have a great line. There will be more fractions later. There will be fractions later. They will be on the quiz. Let's get our guests out here. What do you say? Please. Our first guest. You know him from the History of Hyenas podcast. His stand-up special property owner is available right now. How about it for the hilarious Giannis Papas in the house? What's up, Giannis? Good to see you guys again. Hello, Giannis. How are you? Pretty good. Happy to have you on the show. Happy to be here. Are you? Yeah, well. Would you guys just bump into each other at a fucking cafe? Yeah. Hey, how are you, Lewis? Good to see you. What a pleasantry thing. How are you? You look good. Is this new? Jay, we're not in a cafe. Our second guest, favorite over here at Legion of Skanks from the Something Went Wrong podcast. You might know him from MTV's Jersey Shore. How about it? For Vinny Guadagnino. Let's go. What up, guys? How are you, sir? Doing good. Doing good. I love Vinny. Vinny, you shouldn't be friends with us. This is bad for your career. Yeah, I feel like I'm hanging out with my crackhead cousins when I come out with you. You are better than us, for sure. This is definitely a come down for you, but we appreciate you slumming it with us. No. Dude, I had sex on television. This is nothing. That was a good counterpoint. Yeah, literally. Did you have sex? You actually had sex on television? Yeah, like a million times. Did you fucking watch it, Louis? Yeah. In the fucking smush room, you dumb shit. Take off that Adidas outfit. You don't deserve to wear it. You don't know what a fucking smush room is. What a moron. But it wasn't on TV. They didn't, like, show it. They showed us, like, going under the covers and then the music. But we fucked them. Lewis is the only person in America who believed they were just smushing. Yeah, right, right, right. Well, they were smushing each other. We cuddled every night. Yeah, Hollywood magic. That was the last reality show. We would go to a nightclub at closing hour and just ask everyone if they're DTF and then just bring them back to the house. And this is all on camera, documented for the world. Dude, 2015, being the man, 2017, rape. I love it. Yeah, actually, let's cut what I just said. It was a great little time. We would do the same thing, but we couldn't get any hot chicks. So we just looked for the ugliest, fattest fucking troll. And she was looking for the ugliest, fattest troll, and it was me. So we went home and just fucking raped each other. They were all DTE. They used to cut to those rooms? You don't remember? They used to cut to those rooms, and it would be like you'd see motion. Yeah, no, I didn't know if it was, like, real, though. It was like the night vision. Worst sex ever. Yeah. While being watched by cameras, yeah. On cameras, under the covers, pitch black. I didn't know. I was trying to put a condom on. I know. Crazy, right? Did you know the cameras were there? Yeah, they're in the ceiling. So it was a little different for Epstein's people. They didn't know. That's true. That is a key difference. It would be great. He could turn that into a reality show just if he had the personal. Vinny's trying to fuck a chicken. And that guy holds the light caliber in front of her face. She's catching a lot of shine. Seaside Heights is an island. Yes. One more. We have one more guest joining the show. We've got a packed show today. Got to have a wild card with this many people. From the Adam Carolla show and, of course, from MTV's Bully Beatdown, UFC, and Pride legend, Jason Mayhem Miller. First best answer. All right. It was up and down the rankings. I got to put these fucking phones on. All right, I got you. I got you, bloodbath. Hey, it's your dance. I'm just here to tango. Jason, we found out in the green room that Jason saw your Austin fight off. Viral-ass video? Hell yeah, dude. Hey, not bad. And Jason told me my check kicks. Listen, I'm a corner man. I'm a corner man, first of all, okay? Leg check, no need, bud. You got heavy hands. That's it. You got to do what we call carrot topping. Carrot topping. You turn your knee inside, break his foot. That's what I tried to do. Why, you tried? But instead, I just barely lifted my foot and screamed. I was like, ow! All you did was scuff up your Adidas. I'll tell you this much. When you go skiing after you check a leg kick, you realize that the skis hit the exact part that your shin hurts to. It sucked. That's like genital mutilation. Yep. If someone starts leg kicking me in a street fight, I'm out. That's the number one indication that you're fighting someone. I thought now that's the thing. It's like throw a leg kick because it's a way to trick people into the leg kick. Well, what if he had hair like Krusty the Clown? Wait, was it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. I thought so. Yeah, he had wacky hair. I guess no one else saw this viral video. It was just me and you. No, did you get into a real fight? Yeah, yeah. The guy was doing shenanigans. You know what he was? I haven't been keeping up on my Lewis fight video. Well, you can see it. There's a whole catalog. I've got to catch up. What are you even reading, Giannis? I've got to catch up. Yeah, well, I appreciate it. The problem is everyone that really knows how to fight sees the video. I'm like, please stop watching the video. No, no, it's good. I got a couple notes because I'm a corner man. Well, tell me the notes. That's what I was saying. I have some notes. We're waiting. Listen, I told you already. Knee inside, butt. You got to move forward. All right. It's counterintuitive to a human being that if the kick is coming, you just want to run away. You don't want to get hit. I didn't try to run away. I was pretty tough. Instead of what your instincts were to cower into yourself like a frightened turtle, this is what you should have done. But you didn't have a corner man in your face. He acted, you know, look, you stood your ground. Thank you. But you could have went forward. I could have. And ended the whole spiel. But I could have went to jail and got sued like you did. Go do three to five. Lose half a million dollars. Hey, but I beat the shit out of all five of them, Jackie Chan style. Yeah. What ethnicity was this person? This was a half black. It was a half black. He was the blackest guy in this room. He even scrapped him with a lot of those. He's not saying a lot. Yeah, scrap it with the malice. Giannis doing the same thing I did. I checked. He's right. Y'all brought segregation back here, huh? Somehow. One Filipino snuck in. He works here. I mean, look, it's never going to be perfect. Oh, my. I'm just kidding, guys. You're the administration. I'm very excited. You said you went skiing. I did go skiing. This weekend. And I love skiing. And this is tough. When we have our meetings, you know. Oh, did you get leg kicked by a guy with skis? Oh, it's the worst way to get leg kicked. It's possible because you said you did have what could be considered an incident. Yeah. A Lewis incident. It's time for another, is it an incident? Yay. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, I don't know if it was an incident. All right. Well, tell us the story and we'll determine it together. Well, yeah. So it's here it says on the notes that it wasn't an incident and then also that my sister had multiple incidents. Is that true? Yeah. My sister's like me except a little hairier and a little scarier. dude you can't bring that living levita locus psycho to a ski slope no it was fucking nuts she just was like arguing with people just because like she's not good at skiing so she was going down the slope and there'd be people at the bottom and she couldn't turn so she's like fucking move she'd yell fucking move yeah but it's the wrong energy it's the wrong energy pizza yeah i showed up for just uh the the pizza party that i heard about and but that really is like why wouldn't her instincts be more to be like please move sorry i can't stop because she's gonna go the fuck out of the way is a weird way. She's a fucking Gomez. Yeah, there's your answer. Should we get money and send her to like etiquette school or something? Wait, like kind of a finishing kind of school? I've been thinking a lot of ruffles and kind of fluffy collars. Yeah, it might get her a lot further in life if she just knows not to start off with strangers by going fuck out of the way. Yeah, but why is she cannonball running straight down the mountain, bud? That's your job. First of all, she's going down a bunny hill. She can barely fuck it. I was imagining K2. No, no, no. So it's little kids. She's screaming, get the fuck out of the way, you little twerps. Vinny, have you skied before? You have, obviously. I snowboard like twice. Were you good? Twice skiing? Do you mean doing cocaine? Yeah, that's exactly what you're talking about. You hit the slopes, bro? Yeah. Or did you mean giving two guys a handjob at the same time? Come on, dude, don't be that way. Or doing... I mean, I'm glad I picked this beat. Hey, perfect spot on the left. No, I haven't. I only did snowboard a couple times. But it takes, like, the whole day to learn how to do it. And then by that time, like, my back hurts, and I go home and then do it again in three years. Yeah. Yeah. That's a move. Yeah, Giannis, what about you? Never. Never been skiing? Never once. Jason, you? Same. Well, we didn't have no ski hills at Kino. But, yeah, I have been. Yeah, I snowboarded. I'll do a flippy flip. I'm no Chloe Kim, but I try. Are you? You never. I've never skied or snowboarded or any of that. Me and Giannis are from Brooklyn. We never even thought this was a possibility that your family would be rich enough. Yeah, you've got to come from generational. No, you can just go to Hunter Mountain. I went to Hunter Mountain. I want to say seven grand for four of us to ski for two days. Oh, really? Total. With the Airbnb and all that other shit, it was crazy. You said that it was nothing. No, no, no. I said it's a lot. It's a wild amount of money. Oh, okay. For a bunch of Puerto Ricans to almost get kicked off. It is a rich guy thing to do, yeah. It's like, hey, we'll just slide down on plastic. Well, that was the problem. This is what happened with me. So we got online, okay, me and my son. My sister and my niece were on the fucking bunny hill. My son started going on the green hills. We're like, all right, let's fucking do it. So we're getting onto a ski lift, and there's four people to the ski lift. And we pull up next to, like, another dude and his three-year-old child. And we're standing next to him because there's four people per lift. So we kind of stand next to them. I'm trying to set the stage. Is this kid in, like, a onesie kind of outfit like Kenny? My son? No, no. I'm talking about the three-year-old. Well, you too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if everybody's got a onesie, I want hoodie pajamas. Cute little kid with this guy, right? And I kind of, I see up next to him, right? So imagine, you're the guy, you're his fucking three-year-old, you're a fucking... Black. A meth addict. You're a cage fighter who's menacing over both of them. You're a guy that's terrifying everybody in the room. Sorry, sorry. I've got to sometimes tell my brain, smile. You've just escaped from some sort of institution and you're menacing everybody in the entire fucking Catskills. Daddy, I'm scared. Who is this fucking lunatic that's next to me? Just down the mountain. Prop comedy. He's my dad, but I call him by his first name. So you're my son, okay? So we ski up next to this guy and his little three-year-old. So we're standing next to him. Don't be that way, dude. James actually loves you. Huh? He loves you. Not like this. Sexually, yeah. That's how he sees you. Daddy, why does Big J wear pink gloves? Can I suck his cock? He'd probably be into that. Relax, everybody. He doesn't call me uncle. Yeah, Jesus. He also doesn't go, Daddy, he's 13. Anyway, sorry, man. I got this whole thing. You were skiing. Yeah, yeah, I was skiing. So I skipped next to the guy, right? And we're waiting in line. It's a very, you know, it's a Saturday at Hunter Mountain, right? So James, he's just not paying. What? He's 13 years old. You expected that. Yeah, I was like, was that an epithet? What did that mean? Oh, yeah. I'm going to go to Hunter Mountain. If I'm supposed to. Fuck me, dude. For a second there while you were telling the story, I thought it was Sunday. Thanks for that. Oh, it's a Saturday. Thanks for that. It's a Saturday at Hunter Mountain. It's not that hard to understand. You know how that gets. It's Saturday. Hunter Mountain. Saturday, Hunter Mountain. Three-year-old. No Jews. No. That's why we went. They don't ski on the Shabbos. So, no, it's a busy day on a fucking ski slope. That's kind of what I meant. No, I know. It was just funnier that way. Dude, shut up. What are you sensitive about? So, ridiculous detail to give. I think we should do the entire podcast. Every time he tries to tell a story, we just keep going. Yeah, yeah. We'll find a few more spots. Yeah. So, I'm standing there. Still Saturday. James is right here. Hunter man. James starts to move forward a little bit because we're just fucking waiting in line. He's a 13-year-old kid. He's not paying attention, right? So the dad goes to James. He's like, hey, you know, there's a line here, right? He said to James. Well, Lewis is already at the end of a fight in his head. That's a little... You've crossed my boy. No, I know. I would have a thing about that. It was a weird thing to do. It's like, first of all, I'm standing next to this guy. Also, my kid will fuck up your kid. I got a 13-year-old. I told you that. I was like, if we get into a thing, you have an easier fight than me. Go for it. End that three-year-old and then help me. Especially if this guy can leg kick. It's just like your sister, though, in the sense that the same thing could have been accomplished by looking at your son and kind of smiling and just moving forward. Does that make sense? There's a way to handle it without saying, you know there's a line here. It's such a cunt. Yes. It's very critical of people's etiquette on the ski slope. Somebody who's never been on a ski slope. Ever since I've been wearing glasses, I've been real big on manners. Yeah, you big on manners now, yeah. Yeah. So the guy, and I was like, we know. I was like, he's just not paying attention right now. I was like, the reason I'm sitting next to you is because we assumed we'd all go on together. And he's like, yeah, he was like, yeah, you know, but there's a line, you know. And I was like, yeah, we know there's a line. He's like, buddy. He was like, he called me buddy. And I was like, don't call me buddy. And then we're here. We're just doing this. Buddy, what the fuck's Buddy supposed to be? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you, guy. I'm not your guy, bud. You should have went in 1998 and kicked the baby. I'm not your chief boss. I'm not your boss, squirrel neck. So then it's just like kind of turning into a pissing contest between me and the guy. Well, but to be fair, Lewis whipped his dick out and started peeing. I was like, hey, how far can you go? Hey, look at this. That's half a foot right there. Whoever's socks are soaked first. Also, do people have pissing contests before? that they had to start from one time. Yeah, yeah. No, normally it's a cursive poem that I write. It was probably, I like to think, though, in history, like when pissing contests literally were a big thing, it was probably progress for that time. Like they were like, all right, instead of stabbing each other, we're going to settle this like men. We're going to both pull our dicks out. Whoever pees further gets this chick. I mean, don't you got to be like, face that each other like high noon? You know what I'm saying? That's the grossest way to do it. You start pissing on each other's face and you start stepping back and whoever keeps on going wins. But you can't do it. You've got to land in your belly button. But you can't do it. Everybody lined up by their feet. You have to line up by the front of dicks or else it's not fair. This is good, guys. We should do a pissing contest. Oh, I see what you're saying. That was a weird small dick lawyer move. You're going to get banned from curling. My toes, I don't give a fuck if my toes are over the starting line. If my dick isn't, I'm starting there. That's the fault. Your dick does not come out further than your toes. Take back the point. That's the point he's making. You've tasted my dick. His toes have to go. And it didn't touch the back of your throat because I wasn't hard. You were terrible at it. That's not true. I'm really good at giving you a head, and you know that. You're terrible at it. So your toes are behind the line. Your dick can go over the line like your palm. No, he's saying if he needs to get his toes over the line to get his dick to the line, he should be allowed. He's saying everyone should start dicks even, not feet even, because then it's like the bigger dick just seems like there's something further. It starts a few inches off. The high council agrees. He's got a point. He does have an argument. But the bigger dick doesn't necessarily produce the hardest, longest stream. No, that's for sure. You still have to start from the same. That's a great point. I think a bigger dick would produce a weaker stream because there's more dick. You remember? Well, you'll never know. You'll never know, you little dick queef. Yeah. You have a flat little dick. I feel it. Oh, Jesus Christ. And Latter-day Saints, they're joking each other. Nothing. They're joking each other. All material there. Nothing. This isn't even gay. You are missing the most erotic thing I've ever seen. Because I'm not touching a dick right now. There was no penis at all. That's all Michael Jordan did at NASCAR. That literally looked like the video. He was just looking for a tiny dick that wasn't there. What the fuck was he doing? If we're going to bring it up, you should bring up the video. We do have that ability Wait we don't know Louis was doing an incident No man He's got Can't get through A skiing story You're trying to do High tech shit Finish your skiing story I apologize So yeah So then it becomes This pissing contest To me and this guy So at one point He's like And I was like Bro you got a Three year old kid with you What's your problem You're just trying to Fight somebody on the line Right now when you have A child with you And he goes I would love that Oh No No Is this an incident Yes A bit A bit Keep going By the way, who talks like that when they've got their three-year-old with them? It's crazy. It's the guy that's going to be fucking Miller, bro. My dude. Yeah, my dad would get in a fight with anybody in the goddamn line for popcorn. All right, I do believe that. So this guy, this is the Saturday at Hunter Mountain. This is Saturday at Hunter Mountain. Very busy. Good fucking point. This is Saturday. Dude, Vinny, I had my fucking head in my ass back there. I completely forgot this was Saturday. I'm sorry, dude. That's when it goes down. I'm sorry. Lewis, go ahead. So this guy is like, I mean, I want to say, he's wearing ski boots. so you're a little bit taller. He couldn't be taller than like 5'7". But now in my head, I'm going like, he must know something. There's no way this guy isn't like a fucking Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt. Like something, dude. His son's a bomb. But then in my head, I'm going like... I've been waiting for the moment to show my three-year-old boy what daddy's capable of. Look, but... But then I'm going like, he doesn't know that I don't know something. That's the thing. Nobody knows anything. You can't really look... I can see Mayhem's fucking crazy year. Ski goggles on, though. And I'm like, ha-ha, ha, fuck you. Yeah, we all look like spacemen in Steve's office. Yeah, exactly. It's hard to tell you in a fact because it will cushion your fist. I get your point. I forgot you dressed like a snow bunny getting into a fight. Right, right. With those little balls hanging off my ears, you know? I get Lewis's point about how no one really knows how good a fighter someone is, but I do just feel like Mayhem was the worst example. Yeah. Like, I went, just look at you, dude. In my fat, dude, lovingly schlubby era, right? Motherfuckers would be like, fuck you, old man. I'm like, you know what I mean? Suddenly, Susan, I'm out the door before the cops get there. Dude, I feel like I'd be like, that guy can fight. I think this guy's a pretty good fighter. What do you think, Pitty? I always thought that UFC guys would stay away from fights and be the last one until I met him. Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. Ma'am, for some reason, most UFC guys have nothing to prove. Ma'am's like, I need to kill everybody. No, no. It's just, look, I don't need to dance. You know what I mean? Dance and partner invites me, right? Yeah, yeah. But at the same time, when I was drinking, boy, it was fun. Dude, I'm sorry. Are your hands like lethal weapons or something? Yeah, yeah. I went down to the courthouse, registered them, right? I'll give you the card later. He went down to the courthouse and registered them. They're like, you're under arrest. Like, put him in this cell right now. Just bail it out. I don't feel like anyone appreciated how hilarious it was that Mayhem just threw it to Vinny like a tag team. Let him go, Vinny. Jim, bro, Eddie. I was fighting him. I was fighting him. I'm going to sue him for a half a million dollars. Son of a bitch, my kid. I'm being a negative. Jay, has a civilian in a street fight ever caught you? No, never. I mean, I let him punch me. I let one guy take me down on purpose. so I could use my Ed Bravo card. You know what I mean? That's an awesome thing to be like in the fight. He goes, I'm going to let him do some stuff. No, no. Hey, no. I literally sat down, butt scooted to him. Hey, come on. And he was like not having it. He thought it was beneath him. So I stood up. I was like, go ahead, bud. Go ahead. And yeah, it got me a violation on my parole. So I'm kind of mad about it right now. This was in the Saunet Equinox, I think. Yeah, yeah. I mean, obviously. Equinox, five, shoot a single leg right to their crotch. Hell yeah. Good. But I think that's more wild than anything else. I'm sorry. Do we ever get to the bottom of the body? So at what point does this guy pull you into his guard? So then he takes his helmet off. Then I take my helmet off. You kick in your leg and you win in a hot shot. Wait, you hockey fought this motherfucker? No, we both just wanted to show our faces more. It was so bizarre. Big Jay Oakerson. He didn't know your name. No, he had no idea. He was like, I've heard of you. No, so then it just kind of, like, died out there, and I was like, and then he started, like, moving ahead, and I was like, all right, you're going ahead. You just took both your heads? Yeah, wait, wait, wait. So you both took off your shysty or whatever? We had no helmet. Yeah, and my mask. It's like a reverse ice proton. And wait, you guys both got locked into each other's eyes thinking, wow, we are both so handsome. No, then he went ahead of me, and I was like, James, let him go. And then I was, like, doing this. I was, like, talking shit to James about the guy. I was like, some people got no class, James. And then the guy turns around and is like, you know, you could just say it in my face. I was like, I am saying it to your face. What the fuck is your problem? That's the point. I'm passive-aggressively saying it to your face. He's right behind him all the way up the chairlift, and he's talking shit backwards. That's what I'm saying. Fuck you, you bald head. You're in an argument, like a real staring, uncomfortable thing with somebody right before you're about to go, Wee. Wee. For $600 a day. Man, we got no problems these days. So then it just sort of like died out. But he kept on turning back and smiling, like doing the thing where he was like, oh, what? And I was like, stop fucking smiling at me, bro. I was flirting with you. What are you doing, your boy? No, James told me after the guy left, James was like, just so you know, if you were going to have to fight with him, I would have jumped in. I was like, you're goddamn right, bro. Did he really? I swear to God, he did. Oh, you know what? You're a great dad. I was beginning to think he wasn't really Puerto Rican. Does your son have blood? No, never mind. But just his stepdad is. Bless your heart Bless your fucking heart, man I don't know how real I'm getting right now I love the Legion of Skanks, by the way Big fans We smuggled your tapes into prison Don't worry about it When James said he was going to jump in Does that mean he was going to help you with the dad Or he was going to stomp out the three-year-old Or he was going to kick me in my shin I trample shit when I stomp He's like, dad, dad, don't worry He punches me in the face He's like, I got him, don't worry No, but he's wearing those stupid fuzzy mittens. It was a kingpin. He's like, I didn't want him to think we were in cuddled. Stay down. Yes, I mean, that was really... It was kind of a heartwarming family tale, to be honest. You should thank that little guy in his three-year-old sack of potatoes. Yeah, the three-year-old, my son would have fucked him. I don't know what the point of telling us about that three-year-old was. I was expecting him to jump in. Well, because it was weird that the guy is starting a fight when he's got a three-year-old. It adds an element of what this guy is doing. My son's already seen me be a psycho before. Like, this kid's like, what are you doing? I don't know. It's an introduction. It's also like, how do you know I'm not a fucking absolute fucking savage who's willing to kick your fucking three-gold? You're at Hunter Mountain on a Saturday, dude. That's why. I'm just putting myself in the three-year-old dad's, you know, like skis. I would, you know what I mean, surreptitiously pick up the kid and slice you in the face, you know what I mean, with the skis. Something like this. I'm thinking of more tactics. The guy. Giannis, you were always, I mean, honestly, Giannis was always a guy who was like a, not that you were a tough guy, but you were never a pussy. You were like, if someone fucked with you, you'd do something. Giannis was shot. Giannis was shot. Which is the craziest thing in the world, man. People pop shit. Giannis will punch someone in the mouth. Back in the day, I'm saying, when you were younger. But if you were with, sure. But when you were with, because this is how I feel, when you were with your three-year-old. Yeah. If I'm with my three-year-old, I am doing everything I can to not have a goddamn thing. Because I don't want my three-year-old to see me hit someone, to see me get hit. That'd be worse. You don't want to, you don't just want, I don't want anything that's going to scare him. So when someone's with their three-year-old and they're just like popping shit, there is a level of that where you go like, who the fuck is that dude? Or if you're married. Who's the guy who just goes out with his fucking, still kind of a baby? If you're married, right? Like I am. I did it. I'll go like, I get it, dude. I know you're right. You just, go ahead, vent on me. beat the shit out of me so my wife could go to the hospital Vinnie he probably was hoping you knew to beat him into the hospital this man's a victim keep beating me I need a prescription for opiates in the situation you're in like Vinnie with like where like your kind of name got out there like when you go to do people like there gotta be guys who just fucking hate your guts right away cause you cause you drawing attention from chicks in any way I never really gave off that aura Like the other guys like on my show and shit You're the least douchey. You are the nice guy. You're the least douchey of all of the Jersey Shore guys. Not that they're douches, but you come off like a normal dude. Yeah, but dude, the least douchey. Because your mom makes the thinnest chip of colors. I love what Louis just goes. You're the least douchey of the guys. Not that those guys were douches. Yo, you're friends. No, your friends... You're all doucheous. Which one was... You are the tallest midget we've ever seen. Right, right, right. That's what we're trying to say. Well, isn't it kind of funny? It's funny, you guys... I am the smartest guy on the Jersey Shore, so... For sure. It doesn't fucking... High bar, you're climbing there! Dave is the smartest guy on the Legion of Skanks. It means nothing, dude. But it is... Nah, dude, but we've both shown you can fucking parlay that into a little bit of a career. But it is... Oh, it is amazing. That's how dumb everyone else is. Yeah, yeah. But you guys did grow up on TV, so when they cast you guys, like, in hindsight, you see The casting was to have people that were like club thumping. Yeah, yeah. It was to be like, look at these goofballs. Well, I told you last time, the first season, people would just come up to us, try to fight us nightly. And then the second, third, we had fans. Except we were in Italy. We almost got jumped by an entire fucking club of Italian people. Real Italians? They're real Italians. No, we're Italian. You're not Italian. You're making us look bad. You're making us look bad. You're not a fake Italian. The chicken cutlets are supposed to be thick. Give this to your mom. They still talk like Jersey Italian? Yeah, yeah. Is that not an Italian accent? Yeah. You're not a real Italian. You're a real Italian. Ciao bella, you faggot. Go. Bing. Skip-a-doops. That's exactly right. Did Ronnie and Mike, like, were they able to do cycles and, like, shoot steroids while the show was going on? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They had to, yeah. The fucking sound guy is jamming him. Yeah. Ronnie was crying every day. Yeah. He was an emotion His estrogen Yeah Horrible They had to do makeup On his back act Oh Prolactin ass Yeah No they didn't show that But yeah We were It was like 300 Like we were in the corner And then there was just Like a fucking sea Of Italian men Just Did you say Ready your breakfast And eat hearty Well tonight We dine in Hell Something like that I'll say They had the Stop trying guys Fucking crowd Damn bro Lewis How do you do this shit night after night? Well, the crowd still thinks there's a chance Chris DiStefano's coming out. They don't know he didn't care about it. I'm his replacement. We just picked another Italian. Who's that? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys. But I will say. By the way, Chris is not Italian. Oh, yeah. DiStefano? That's his last name, his dad, but he's mostly German. He's mostly German. But he's going to be part Italian. That Nazi fuck, I knew it. Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine. Isn't that the perfect German plan? Coming under the guise of a harmless guinea. Well, if he comes in later, it'll be the final solution. I would say, Louis, me and you, I think both, if I could replace somebody in a moment in time on a reality show ever, it's Ronnie, one shot, dude. That's got to feel awesome. That's the thing, when they went to a bar, and people were just like, you fucking pussies, and they were fucking with him, and then they never showed the thing, but he knocked it out, and you just see him run back, and it was one shot, and the guy was just unaccounted. Didn't he have a tooth in his hand or something? No, but he had a huge lawsuit. Yeah, yes, yes. I'll tell you what. Stop punching people, everybody. Nobody wins the street fight. Turns out you're not allowed to fight. I bet Ronnie still thinks it's worth it. Whatever he paid, I bet he still thinks it's worth it. He got it back, yeah. It's a cool moment. I'm sure MTV covered it. No. No? Hell no, they ain't digging you out of that. What'd you call me? Gentlemen, let's take a quick moment. I thank Mando for supporting today's show. We love Mando. Guys, how much do we love Mando? That's right. Nobody in this room has showered for one week, and nobody smells like shit because of Mando's total body deodorant. Thank you, Mando, for keeping everybody's disgusting body flaps clean in our audience. Clinical strength, whole body deodorant, controlling both sweat and odor for 72 hours. Variety of fresh scents like bourbon leather, Cloverwoods, Mount Fuji, or Pro Sport. What is Mount Fuji, you think? Well, smell my balls real quick. Smell that? Oh, my God. That's crisp. That's how food you do. That's crisp. It feels like a Saturday at Hunter Mountain. It's like a Saturday at Hunter Mountain. Some men master B.O. with sense. Mando gets the job done right. You don't mask it. You Mando it. It's available in all retailers. Anytime you're shopping, you'll see Mando now. But you heard him here first on the Legion of Skanks, and we're going to give you a pretty crazy deal. Go to shopmando.com, S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O.com. New customers will get 20% off site-wide with our exclusive code, which is Legion, L-E-G-I-O-N, at shopmando.com. 20% off site-wide, plus free shipping, shopmando.com. All right, guys, let's take a quick moment and thank Brunt Workwear for supporting the show. Look what I'm wearing, boys. Look what I'm wearing. Dude, you never take them off. Those are some beautiful boots you got on. You wear them for everything, dude. Construction, driving, sex, decorating, cooking. I have two pair of Brunt Workwear boots myself. I bought another pair for my son. Genuinely the most comfortable boots I've ever worn in my entire life. Dude, you guys dress alike. Gay. Look, I'm not working hard on a work site, but if I was, I would want to be wearing Brunt workwear because they feel like a nice, broken-in old pair of sneakers. You and your son look like the construction workers from the YMCA crew. The village people? The village people. Good reference, dickhead. I'm stoned. Dude, the YMCA crew was a hilarious thing to go to when you couldn't think of village people. The YMCA crew. Thank you, Dave. You know that whole crew? Brunt has a full range of high-performance gear from heavy-duty work pants to weather-resistant jackets. No matter what the job demands, Brunt has you literally and figuratively covered. Try a pair on the job and return them hassle-free if they aren't perfect. What a deal. I mean, money back guarantee. Lewis and his son are at the YMCA. Lewis and his son are at the YMCA. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots, so Brunt built something better. Right now, for a limited time, Legion of Skanks fans get $10 off at Brunt when you use the code LEGION at checkout. Just head over to BruntWorkwear.com, B-R-U-N-T, Workwear.com. Use the code Legion, and you're good to go. All right, where were we? I was going to say, did anybody from Bowie Beatdown ever come at MTV? Well, not. What? What the fuck you signed an ironclad contract? Plus, you're illiterate. Wow. It's true. There you go. That is true. Did you ever personally hate any of the bullies? Yeah, yeah. On the first day of the shoot, it was a Russian guy. Oh, my God, I should have fought that guy instead of Thomas Denny, because he was just a little bastard. He was an actual dick. But, you know, he was playing the role. He knew what his job, he understood the task and did it great. Who was the one guy that went the distance? That was him. That was him. He dropped him. Legendary Russian bully. If I don't find this guy, I'm an idiot. Yeah, yeah, because. He dropped him, right? No, that is a different incident. This guy. One time the bully dropped him. The MMA fighters should have just wiped the floor with every one of them, but a couple of the bullies did pretty good. You're like, that's pretty badass. What it was also is that I like, you know, the guys understood like this. I was going to say, fighters had to know they can't go hard. And they didn't really piece him up like they really could have. It's like a hard spark. That's what we call carrying him. Plus, it's 16-ounce gloves. So it's a little bit less impact. You know, in standard boxing matches, 10-ounce. So, you know, and sometimes 8, depending on the weight class. So all that aside, you know, it was a great show. The bully that was rushing kind of hacked the system. He was like, oh, if I just stall, then guess what? I get five grand. And if I just put my hands up, hey, I get another five grand. That's what he did. Sounds like Russian collusion to me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, bro. Hey, I had a golden shower that night. Was that show that was part of the pitching contest? I think I was just going to punch that and just be like, fuck, mom, I'm sorry. Was that show your pitch? Was that your pitch? No, no, no. I, like, brought the comedic value, though. That's for sure. No, I wouldn't even do that shit because I was like, oh, no way, bro. Like, I'm like, what? Because they had done another show that was whack martial arts. But this one actually had elements of mixed martial arts. And it was very entertaining. And they told me that they stunk me by going, no, you get to be funny. Because originally the script read, like, so stiff. And I was like, what the fuck? Because they didn't know me, really. Then it, like, turned into, hey, you can freestyle and improv and say crazy stuff. Good, good. Roll the camera. And I would just spaz out for a while. And they would edit it. You? No. and then right after that my show came on and Snooki got punched in the face motherfucker bro this guy this guy bro I remember MTV loved you guys bro loved it they pumped them up bro and meanwhile I'm like walking to the video music award that you guys like threw I have to park in the other section and I'm all sweating and shit red carpet's almost there but I'm jogging these motherfuckers roll up on a Rolls Royce going yeah yeah I'm like my show got the same number I took a Honda Civic here. Those days are over. Don't worry. How the great have fallen, my hero. Snuggy got punched by that guy. He was a teacher. That was before the internet would ruin you. That was one of the first, like, that show. He fucking lost everything. He was a teacher. The guy who punched Snuggy in the face. They should have put him on Bully Beatdown. Maybe they would have gave me season four. But just think about it. It's really reality TV show that started this kind of like decline where you can't even go to a bar and punch a chick. Don't you never miss Merch and Abe a bully beat down. No, it's not. No, not you. You guys had no part of that. I got it, pal. I'm a comedian. It was your show. I'm sorry, Dave. Now you can't even punch a chick on TV. Until your show, that was just part of being Italian. It was a feature that... I thought that was normal. I went to a bar the next day. I saw a girl get punched. I was like, what are you guys filming? No, the funny story. That guy actually got another doctorate for that. Yeah, yeah. He was fucked. He really lost it. He went to the army. He actually, the parents said that we should be paying him residuals because he kind of made George Dwarf famous. It was a big moment. Yeah, yeah. Can we watch it? Can we pull it out? I don't remember. I don't remember. In super slow motion. And she was a horrible young drunk. Do you still know her? Snooki? Yeah, yeah. They do the show still. Where are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The show still happens. I love being a guest on Legion of Gang. No. Someone intern. Give him a paper. Catch him up. Hold on. The show's still on. Why are you here? Because I'm trying to make it as a comedian. Leave me alone. I thought your career was well over. No, I'm rich. Buy tickets. Boston. Laugh Boston. Dude. This weekend. Vinny, we know. We follow all your stuff, dude. No, you don't. This is. Hold on. Is his name really the situation? God damn it, Dave. His name is Mike. Oh, it's Mike? Yes, yes, yes. Oh, Michael. That's a good Christian. If you guys want, I'll put in a good word. Maybe he'll come next week. We've had him on Bonfire NSDR, dude. He's fucking, what a turnaround, dude. That guy had a fucking, he went to jail and came out a different dude. It's pretty wild. He's opening up rehab centers now. Yeah, it's pretty wild. Man went to jail and he came out a somehow morning. What a year. fear. I'm only what you made me, America. I'm only what you made me. He started tearing Bibles in half with his teeth. This is what Charles Manson said. He goes, you're going to release me. I'm going to be worse. Turn me into this. There was no reality made. Too real. Too real. You either come up working for God or a psychopath. Nah, man. I'm a positive influence on my community. Sure. I'm just psycho because you guys gave me a microphone. Yeah, I love it. It's a fun time. You've got to live up to that. I love it. Yeah. It's so funny. You guys were on MTV at the same time. Yeah, no, it's so great. That was like the old era. To be honest, this is like the only one I liked. Thank you, thank you. I'm so rich. He's a nice guy, but you know what I mean? I was like, oh, he's a sweet boy. Biggest dick on the show, too. Oh, what the fuck? Oh, physically. Well, let's not get in a pissing contest. No, no, no. This has just been talked about. Yeah. If anyone ever fucks with me, I'm going to call you if you can help me out. Yeah, yeah. Allegedly, the investigation is still ongoing. I have a new UFC friend. I'm Mayhem. Should we talk about this? Oh, we should. Yeah, yeah. One of my arch nemesis. One of them, yeah. Can you remind me of the story? Because I really... This is a person that went after our sponsors at one point. What did you say? I remember this was at one point a big thing. At one point you were like, let's not talk about them. Was she going after our sponsors at one point? No, no, no. That was a different bit. I remember that, too. That was just, she was, she, so Nicole Arbor, who's a fucking dumb, fat, cunt, bitch, slut, fucking whore. But if you guys remember from years back, she fucking rocked Lewis's shit. Not really. What's her act? You guys had a big beef? Lewis was trying to fuck this big, fat, stupid, dumb, fucking bitch. That's not what happened at all. That's not what happened. I thought that was the thing you were hitting on her on the show. I tease. She was, she is an insane person. No, that's what she said. Now, I made a story. No, so I had her on Real Ass Podcast. The clip's still out there. It was you and Tony Hinchcliffe and her. Let me tell. So I had her. You and Tony Hinchcliffe, you go now. Hinchcliffe was there. Go ahead. So I had them both on the show, and she came in, and we were just kind of like having a normal conversation. Then she started getting offended by, like, me and Tony. We sort of, like, just kind of razzed her a little bit. Like, nothing even crazy, right? And I was doing the thing where I'm like fucking hitting on her on the show, but it's very much on the show. It's not like off air and in her DMs I wasn't being inappropriate at all. I'm just being fucking me, right? Just like it does me. Were you in her DMs? Just being like, come on the show. Yeah. So then. But he spelled it C-U-M. Cut to the video she posted after seeing this with just, hey, babe, want to fuck this? I said, come on the show, but I spelled it C-U-M. And instead of the show, I said my dick. Come on my dick. But I did mean to come on the show. So you're at the top of the bunny slope. Your sister's cursing. So she starts smiling at you, and that pisses you off. Why are you smiling, bitch? I'm not worthy of your smiles. She had a three-year-old with her. She takes her helmet off. I'm confusing these stories. It's a Saturday on Hunter Mountain. Saturday on Hunter Mountain. That's not the name of the episode. Fabi-do-a-jikante. So, uh, so fucking... No, she just started getting offended that we weren't really taking her seriously as a comedian, right? So she gets fucking... She was trying to be a comedian. Well, that was the attitude they had, Jay. You were my friend at this time, Jay. She's not listening to any of the... I thought she was a podcaster. No, she wasn't a podcaster. She was doing... She had done stand-up. I thought it was like clips. Yes, she was doing videos. She was doing viral videos. She did Dear Fat People videos. She did a bunch of stuff, right? Right, right, right. And I had her on because I was like, oh, she's interesting and funny enough. She's a hot chick. People will like her. But she came on, she was so fucking unlikable with me and Tony. And we started kind of just trashing her. And then she got very uppity and offended. And then the next day, she put out a video where, because she brought her own cameraman in. I didn't realize, because she's a videographer. That's how smart she was, because she knows you own the content. So I should have known that it was a setup before it even happened. She brought her own cameraman in to film her own footage. So she puts out an edited video of me, like, quote, unquote, hitting on her. and she's like, you know, comedy festival owner tries to sexually harass me. She puts out this video to hundreds of thousands of people and... It was dirty. She really edited it up to make it look like... Oh, it was crazy. I remember. She said it was very innocent. This was a long time ago? Oh, yeah. Seven years ago? Oh, so she, me three? But yeah, she... But she did this to a bunch of people. This was me two back with a vengeance. Might be a me four. No, there was like, there was the guy... me for electric boogaloo. It was a real honey-eyed blew up the kids. Her whole thing was creating controversies with different dudes. There was Ryan Upchurch. There was like four or five different times that she did this. So this is just her thing. She works in the world of creating controversy and trying to... And I was kind of new to having any real internet fame. So it hit me more like, yo, what the fuck? We went back and forth and that was that. She ended up fucking... Yeah, like just I blocked her and she blocked me. It's one of the only people I've ever blocked on social media. I don't block people. It's not easy to get me to block you. You've got to really accuse Lewis of a crime, of a true crime. In order to get him to block you. Trump is so close to probably being true that he can't even deal with you. So that was my history with her. It was just a fucking, you know, whatever. It actually came and went. Came and went. I don't know what her name is. I don't know what she's been up to. Wait, wait, wait. Let me guess. She took old Znappin. She's hot. And you want to fuck her down. She got fat now. Oh, she's got fat now. She got chubby as fuck now. What? When there's no Zimpik out there? She's in the middle of her story. Yeah. She's, uh... But how many people has she done this with where she's created a controversy? I think it's her entire career. It's just always a controversy. Did you guys have... Alex, did you pull up any? Well, you're on my new hidden camera show. Here she is right here. Yeah, shit. You just got mayhemmed. Holy shit. Copyright that. Mayhem's new show is to create real trauma with real enemies. Just go around slapping people. Solve your problem physically. G. Mike, how many times has she done this before? I told you guys to do the research. Gastimate. Come on, give us a legend. I did the research. It's over 12 times. Over 12 times. Give me some examples of times she's created controversies online. Lewis, they didn't even tell you that I still had a show on. Come on. Yeah. You're expecting them to know what's going on with this chick? They don't even know that Jersey Vacation's been running for, what, four or five years now? At least. Nine seasons. Oh, my God. That's awesome. Thank you. Wow, Jay. Four or five? It's been nine seasons. Nine of just the family vacation. Damn, dude. Nine of just the family vacation. You thought that was combined, bro? That's crazy. It's crazy, bro. They're going to keep doing it. They're going to do it like Jason. Eventually, it'll be like Jersey Shore in space. Jersey Shore goes to hell. Jersey Shore takes New York. That would be fucking awesome. They did that with the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Like, what if we took the dinosaurs and put them in Manhattan? Hear me out. Jersey Shore Bahrain. Let's go. They're going to do it until they all have, like, plastic on their couch and they're forcing you to eat. Stay, stay. Jersey Shore wrecks the retirement. Don't touch my gold-plated lamps. No, no, no, no, Snooki, let me go. Nona, stay, stay. You sit with your brother, you eat, you break bread. You look so skinny. Nona Snooki. All the fucking impression. Snooki's Chilean. Dude, the only impression of an old Italian is just asking you to stay. To stay. Just desperately, desperately trying to keep you to stay. We still got a dessert. Oh, no. Nona J-Wall. I love making you a dope, y'all. every old Italian I've ever met has ever done. It's Giannis' impression. Tell me about this mushy room, man. Too skinny. You don't fight with your brothers. You sit ye. This is racist. How many times has this happened? You said 12 times? Give me some examples of beef she started. Or been involved with. Well, that's how much beef she's just always doing something controversial. So the things that I've seen is So the first one that she did, the big one that she got in trouble for, was the Dear Fat People, where she fat shams. Well, not just that, but I'm talking about actual problems she's had with other people. Wait, she said fat people are fat? Wait, and now look how the turns have tabled. Oh, dude. You should hit her with her first video. She's fat. Do you have any answers here? No. Yes, there's a lawsuit right here against Ryan Upchurch. Arbor has been in a high-profile legal battle with country rapper Ryan Upchurch for several years, which is still happening. I'm on her side because country rappers. What's a country rapper? A cunt trapper? What do you think? What are we talking like? Outcast? What's a country rapper? I'm sorry. I'm old. I don't know. Don't pull your thing out until you pull your thing out. Shaboozy? Go ahead. The claim is, Arbor says that she co-wrote several tracks on his album, but was never given credit or payment. Sitting over there, Brad, talking. On whose album? Ryan Upchurch. Dude. What the fuck is this? Who the fuck is that guy? Did you say she wrote songs on his album? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She probably gave him a tag in the green room. No, he had that famous song, I'm a Dirty Fat Cunt. You don't remember the song? I don't, but I don't know the country charts. She had that song, Lewis Assaulted Me. He had that song, Lewis Assaulted Me. Lewis sexually harassed me. I'm pretty sure that guy wrote that song. Lewis sexually harassed me in parentheses. That guy, Jay Shetty, she had a thing with. I mean, there was a bunch. Oh, the monk guy. Jay Shetty? Yeah, yeah. He's like a... V? V.J. Shetty. He's a virgin? But I don't understand. Who's Jay Shetty? I'm sorry. I don't know if he's a virgin. He might be a virgin. He's kind of wholesome, yeah. Yeah, but she was me, too. She preys on a wholesome guy like Louis. Like Louis. Yeah. All right. All right. What's this lady? Hold on. Wait. She was me, too? No. She was in a beef with Jay Shetty and Louis Shitty. Louis Shitty. I got to look out for this lady. What's her name? Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Yes. That's her. Knock her the fuck out. Nah, nah, nah. I will gently caress her to sleep. She sounds like a large lady. If she taps, you've got to let her go. Anything else? They did no research on this. Wait, time out, bro. You came to fucking smoke this lady on your podcast. No receipt. Well, there's a main thing. There's a new thing. Can we see this video of you trying to bang her? It's aggressive. I know. Bordering sexual harassment. Wait, is it like he was playing that song? A little poke coming through on you. Yeah, she co-wrote it. Ooh, I know you failed it. She co-wrote it. You know I can't help it. She's suing them for publishing. You know, she never got her points off that album. Oh, is that Ryan Upchurch? So she's having a current beef with Jelly Roll. No, my homie. Friend of the show. Oh, she's coming after Jelly Roll. She's coming after Jelly Roll. He's a social climber. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't he lose a bunch of weight? Jesus. Yes. And now he's a preserved role? Yes. Lewis, is this a good... He's jam roll. Preservative. Fresh fruit roll. Fresh jelly roll. All fruit roll. Only two grams of sugar jelly. Simply fruit roll. Yeah, oops. All roll. Roll. What did she say about jelly roll? I don't know if you noticed, but I toured with him extensively on Fully Loaded. And we're fucking bros. What did she say? Well, is it, Lewis, isn't she... She's kind of like one of almost... Dave, what are you thinking? he's not my friend, he is. Yeah, no, obviously, obviously you're going to make friends with your stunt double, but the... We both lost... Man, I really lost weight at the right time. No, but she's kind of... This Nicole... She's kind of like one of the first generation of, like, influencers. Like, she was like one of the first, like, people who became, like, had, like, I don't know, vivals. She was a YouTuber. When YouTubers were first... We had YouTube videos, like, fucking 10, 15 years ago. And then it almost became a thing where it was like... And she's a great example of where they'd catch on to whatever the current controversy is and then have a big viral video. And then they'd be like, okay, well, what's the next controversy? And what's the next? And then they're almost just stuck in this cycle of you've got to find something that's going to go super viral. So it's like, let me sue this guy. Are you guys sidebarring? Yeah, yeah. Yo, I was just going to comment. Everything you said was horseshit. We just decided. We are the weakest link. Goodbye. I got to retract my previous statement. Nah, nah, you're like an archivist for stupid shit. Well, you can't just break off into a... Yeah, but you can't. Just don't worry about those type of bitches. They're skanks anyway. I don't know how I felt about that. That was weird. Me neither, bro. I feel like they're going to fucking put a hit on us. I thought we were cool. Yeah. Apologies. No, we were trying to figure out... We were worried that the crew didn't figure this part out for something we wanted to show. Yeah, we wanted to show stuff, but then we had no faith that the crew actually put it together. We panicked. I'm sorry, Dave. Well, we still have no faith. That's not changed. If I could. Turn back time. If I could find a way. Yo, man, whatever you got put in the air, it's making me fucking musical. Did you ever? I'm rapping, bro. Did you see the Grammys? Did you see Cher? Would you? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, of course. If I didn't have a girlfriend. That's fair. Your girlfriend wouldn't give you a pass for Cher? I mean, a 90-year-old woman. She had, like, a JVC camera on her shoulder. Perfect. Dude, Cher, Jane Fonda, and Martha Stewart. To this day. Really? To this day, still doing it. Oh, I was thinking power foursome. You know what I mean? I mean, they're like 80. I don't know if Raquel Welch ever finally hit the fucking wall. She hit the wall. She was good. Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart. Marry. Yeah, who would you fuck marry? Wait, who was it? Jane Fonda. Jane Fonda, Martin Stewart. Jane Fonda, really? Cher. I just feel like Jane Fonda's going to be yappy. Jay would like her if she was Jay Fondue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck Cher. Marry Martha. Maybe kill Jane. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jane Fonda's a waste of... She's all... She still cares about Vietnam problems. I know, but she looks great. Well, Jay, we're still dealing with Vietnam problems, all right? Apparently, she doesn't look as good as Nicole Arbor right now. Yeah. When do we get to see her? When do we get to see her? J-Lo is like 55, 56. Yeah, but I'm talking about 80s. I mean, like, not supposed to look like that. Sophia Loren was up there for a while, but then she eventually shit to bed. So anyway, apparently Jelly Roll did something. What did Jelly Roll do to Nicole Arbor? Do you guys know? Praise Jesus to her. From the research I did, he blacklisted her from the music industry. What? But she wasn't in the music industry. She's a YouTuber. Yeah, yeah. Who are you talking about? I have a video of what she said if you want to watch that. Yeah, please, man. Run that shit. Oh, shit. She looks like this. I'm so sorry that I could not accept that alleged hush money deal that you said to me. I just, you know, I asked for an apology. You can see the fucking crazy in her eyes. Oh, yeah. This is some Erica curse. I'm going to fucking murder you and fucking. Yeah. You know, that's why they say there's lizard people. You know, it's funny. If you could choose where your eyebrows go. Yeah. Why is that the place you choose? Well, you want to be surprised at all times. I don't know why Lewis had to bring in a grieving widow who's handling the situation in a very appropriate manner. But there is, I have never, when you know, and there is a weird thing. Ladies, even you, all the ladies in the room, you know this. Crazy bitch is something you can just see. It's something you can just see in the eyes. You know, ladies, you all fucking know it. And I've never seen a case like this. Not a lot. And when you're just kind of crazy. That is a 10 out of 10. And just already, she hasn't said a thing yet, and you went, this bitch is a problem. You should be able to sue the doctor when you're this kind of crazy. If you walk in and she goes, hey, make my top lip a bottom lip. And they do it, you should be able to sue the doctor when your mind's ready to get it. They shouldn't do that. They shouldn't do that even if you just rolled up in there and was like, give me the river trout. For the record, I just want to say, Nicole, I really think you're beautiful. Yeah, yeah. God damn it, Vinny. Don't be a pussy, dude. Don't come after me next. Vinny, man, I'm a fucking bitch. I on my ninth season of Jersey Shore Family Vacation I have a lot to lose he got 20 years till social security kicks in dude nothing will tie you to mayhem killing her besides this moment right yeah man we're gonna christopher walking it drop her off the side of the boat she's gonna make a whole thing about this fucking episode all i see is a nice girl who's been who's been taking advantage of let me tell you something also lewis i have a little four i haven't seen this yet, but I know what she does here, so I think we're all going to hope eventually that she does come for us by what it sounds like. C-U-M. That's great. I would love to have this done. I would love to have her come for me. You're right, Jay. Huh? But by the way, Louis, I think you just hate her because she doesn't look fat. Yeah, I mean... This is a good angle. That beer sponsor's out. She looks... She actually looks pretty attractive. What are you talking about? She might be a raging piece of shit. Guys, this is fat to Louis. Holy sour grapes ass Puerto Rican. Easy for you to apologize for all the crazy things that you and your wife did to me, especially when I don't know you guys. Wait, your wife is in on this? And you're saved now, right? So, like, you should want to atone for sins. You should want to make things right with people. Heck, even if you're just going with AA, you want to make things right with people that you've wronged. But instead, you allegedly sent me a hush money deal. And if I wouldn't sign it, then you allegedly threatened to sue me, which is crazy because you're still threatening me. There's been a lot of threatening me for what, like five years now? Dude, I mean, the mix. Here's the thing. I could take either the eyes or the tone of voice. Yeah, yeah. But the mix of the two is just unbearable. And it's like they fixed her teeth, but like, wrong? Yeah. Oh, yeah. She goes, hey, if I pay you extra, can you put gums all the way down between each tooth? There is just nothing, and I do, it does actually, I mean, it really does, it scares me a little bit, like deep down. There's something about a woman who aggressively talks in the tone where everything ends in a question, but not passively does everything ends in a question. That makes your question hard. No, it makes me very afraid. Like when she goes, and then, I know, you sent me a contract, and I was supposed to sign it. Oh, yeah. But I would do that. You're like, all right, oh, my God. She's going to burn my house down. My family's going to be inside. She has the capacity for terrible. One time at band camp. Also, for sure, Jelly Roll's wife is just far more attractive than this chick. Yeah. Without a doubt. Wait, but she finger-banged her? Is that what you're saying? Well, we haven't gotten her the finger-banger ain't. No, I don't know if he's finger-banged her. She's definitely, he's an idea. It was a finger-banger ain't for sure. It's definitely a hush money and shit like that. Hush money about, like, hey, don't tell my wife I fuck you. Can I tell you something also? He lives in Nashville, so if he wants side pussy, there's 7,000 of this exact shit. No, I don't think that's what it is. So I think apparently there was a guy who wanted to date Nicole Arbor, and he was friends with Jelly Roll. Oh, hell no. Don't do that here, homeboy. When she turned him down, apparently she's saying Jelly Roll bullied her. I talked to Jesus about it. Don't do it. Jelly Roll tried to ruin her career because she wouldn't fuck or date his friend. I believe that's the story. Oh, Jelly Roll is the best friend ever. How many times does she got to do this before she gets her Karen qualifications? He only talks to God when he needs a wingman. Please, Lord, this girl needs Jesus. Heal this child. Help us destroy her demons. Go ahead. Jelly Roll got fake teeth, but he got 64 instead of 32. Has it been only three times or more? You, Ryan Upchurch. There was another guy that was a singer of a band she dated who said he was abusive. What was this? She says she metooed her boyfriend. Yeah, Matthew Santoro. Got Alex what happened? She beat him up? Yeah, she beat up her boyfriend. Yeah, he threatened her. He alleged that she was emotionally and physically abusing him. I believe it. She's single and might invite her to a throuple. And then she's also like, she has music videos and stuff, so she's trying to have a music career, which might be part of this puzzle that you're missing right now. She's a battle rapper? Can we finish? Yes, yes. But finish this video. And then she made a hit track and a diss track on Jelly Roll. The new Crack Amico here. Yes. Oh, shit. Cunt Amico. She's coming for your spot, Crack. Cunt Amico. That was a deep cut. To do to a woman that you don't know. Very odd. So anyway, I just wanted to ask if I could post the alleged hush money deal online. That, you know, some of your fans, they think it doesn't exist. And I'm just being a crazy woman and making this up. That was up Jay's ass. Hot. And delicious. No, that was up your ass. It was up my ass? Oh, yeah, it was up my ass. Oh, I taste both of you guys. Well, it's Jay's mouth on it afterwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God damn, are you guys starting an OnlyFans? It was a bet. Say no more, right? Go ahead. Obviously, I wouldn't have anything to post online. But if it does exist, then I just want your blessing to post it. so that, you know, you're not going to sue me for posting it. She's a 50-year-old woman. Can I say something? Let me pause it for a second. Can I say something? Damn, bro. Wait, she keeps getting good points. You're 50? I'm going to fucking say something right now, dude. She's pretty. She's pretty, dude. Go ahead. Play it. I say we believe all women. That's what I say. Believe all women? Hashtag believe all women. Jay, it'll be the hottest woman ever. I'm a good guy. You find everything wrong with her, and then I say a bitch is ugly, and you have to say how pretty she is. She's not ugly. but she's an ugly person. Oh, no, I'll take her apart. I already said her upper lip's a bottom lip. She has a skeleton nose. You want me to do those things? I can do those things if you want. She's got a fucking five head. Yes, be my friend for a while. Her fucking elbows are so pointy. I'll be honest with you. You could charge $7 a ticket if you wanted to show Jeff Goldblum as a fly on her forehead for a driving movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. Now we're talking, Jay. All right. She's wearing hoops like she's getting ready to fight a black girl for a half-black guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Her two front teeth need a carrot. Louis, I'll keep going, buddy. I'm on your side. But she is pretty. She's like three days out from rep. Oh, never mind, woman. Also, she's one with Christ. Did you see her? Yes. The power compels me. Yeah. More. And, yeah, we could all just have everything out in the open. And everyone can know who you really are behind the scenes. Come on, now. Don't play games like that. Jesus don't want that. I was telling the truth maybe for the last five years about everything is she Canadian? yes I heard the about she didn't even know this chick she did the dear black people afterwards too he's part of her viral career this is a good friend of mine actually I got that vibe as soon as we started I find her alluring She's waiting on time. It really, really sucks that you wouldn't just apologize. It would have been so easy for us to, like, sit down and have an adult conversation and shake hands and move on. But, you know, cosplay Christians be cosplay Christianing. So let me know if I can post that online. The thing that I just don't buy about it is where she goes, it sure would have been great if we could have settled this without going to YouTube videos. Which I did first. But that's kind of your whole thing. that you want to make a fucking video about it, right? Yeah. You don't think it would have been great if you and Jelly Roll just had a good conversation. No. You're pretty happy you got content out of it. Of course. He's too touchable. He's too touchable for that to be the goal. No, he's not even acknowledged this. He hasn't said anything about it. I'm not convinced Sheev's ever met him. Maybe. I mean, that's almost my point. He's very accessible. So, like, she may have. No, I think they used to be friends. I don't know. I doubt friends. Do you guys know any more of the background of this? He's a pretty big comedy fan. It's just not like... Whatever her thing is would not be his thing. But his type of chick, you know what I mean? No, listen. That will quickly turn from that vibe. She may have weaseled in for some fucking famous dick or something. But if not that, there's no reality to her music thing. Maybe we're going to watch a rap video and she's going to fucking murder it. Maybe she slays and eats it all up and leaves no clips. All right. We'll unblock her and play his Instagram. in 2021 Nicole was scheduled to go on Jelly Roll's wife's podcast and got cancelled and they went back and forth on the internet from there they cancelled it from the podcast oh I thought she said the n-word and then she said anytime she's met him since he's snubbed her and told people not to work with her yeah because she's the fucking lunatic because she went back and forth with his wife I see so she was crazy wait so am I supposed to feel bad or good I don't know I don't know yet Okay. All right, guys. Let's take a moment and thank our sponsor for today's show. I don't know. Do you guys love nicotine like I do? So hard. So hard. More than my family. 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Try some Body Brain Coffee. You'll love it. All right. Where were we? Wait till you watch a music video. All right. Let's judge her. This is her diss track on Jelly Roll. Keep it on wax, I say. Oh, she lost points now. Now it's getting a little weird. Hey, wait. Am I getting Rick Rolled? What the fuck is it? Stranger Things with the blood? Attractive Girl. Oh, God. It's like she was willing to turn over the Golden Arden podcast. Oh, she's playing. You're a figment of a pure creation. Whoopin' cheap clothing, new iteration. The bad guy got changed even though he's fagin' and a huge tax break for every cheap donation. Pop, pop, pop, pop, party all the time. Pop, pop, pop, pop, party all the time. Every win you have is a normal person day. Jelly roll, shave, well, hip-hop, hooray. Christian couple but your wife's a witch Preaching to hoes at orgies yelling Switch! Says she's a bunny Really she's a bitch Seven deadly sins is how y'all got rich Cosplay Christians, moral clash Say you found God but you really found cash Cover up your crowd's got media on staff Got a motion for my pics making me laugh You're always crying, not joyous rage Cause you know your wife's banging all your friends backstage Your mic-opene was featured on her OnlyFans page No toothpaste, it's Nicolas Cage Never do a good deed without a camera If I'm Camilla, guess that makes you Alabama Say you changed what you never meant He didn't give you life to Christ. He gave it to old Zempick. Cosplay Christian. Keep playing victim. Time to put the devil on your eyes. Praying all the children. Breathing all the bin in Hollywood. Beaming in disguise. Cosplay Christian. Keep playing victim. Time to put the devil on your eyes. That's a killing bitch. Yeah. That's a crap. Breathing all the bin in Hollywood. Beaming in disguise. Yo, man. Once upon a time not long ago, there was a drug dealer. Hold on. Pause it. Yeah. It's not crack-a-me-co. I'll tell you that right now. Hold on. Hold on. Hear me out. You can see how she's kind of fat. Come on, guys. I mean, I did. Come on, guys. I mean, you see how she's kind of fat. Lewis, we all saw it in that shot together. We all went fine. I get what Lewis is saying. She used to be tight and hot, and now she's a little bit of a shuvier 40-something-year-old woman. She's heavier than me. She's got a 10 and a half. She's heavier than before, yes. Yes, thank you. Thank you, Jay. I need a plan. How this friend got the girl. She'll be a whiz. And his best friend's friend. What's he hit? And the cold is it. Bro, I lost one. What? What was that story about? He showed a big cock. I think it's all that the plan was to get her. Yeah, yeah, they're going to bang. With some guy. But I'm not buying it. I think the whole thing is he's saying he's a fake Christian. I think this kind of slaps. Come on. It's a banger. It's a banger. She worked hard on this. She worked hard. Which one of y'all is the DJ? This is not the worst thing I've ever heard. This is way better than I thought it was going on. I hate saying that out loud. It is better than we all thought. God damn it. A little bit. I'm not saying, Lewis, I'm on your side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't assault her. It's a good song. Listen, I'm Team Jelly Roll. I know him, and she's been a clod to you. He's not a bit of an artist. He's just saying he loves Jelly Rolls. I love Jelly Rolls, and that's his name, so he's probably cool. Wait, I'm not following. Do we hate her? Yeah. We like her, right? We hate her, but we like her music. No, no, no. No. We hate her. Come on, wait. Where are you at? Are we taking a vote now or at the end of the song? At the end of the song, we vote. I'm having a hard time trying to care about this. I feel like we hate her. I'm forcing myself. I'm trying real hard to give a shit. I feel like we hate her. But she came with my boy Lewis and she came with my boy Jelly Roll. But I think this song is killing it, possibly. No, stop that. I don't know. Play it more. I'm reading it more than I'm watching the video. That might help. It's a badge of honor to be accused by this psycho. Maybe. ...in order just to keep him away. Big men and hoes said, well, help your friend. If she won't love you, then we'll bother you. Pause it. Lewis, I'll tell you this. She got very necky, for sure. Yes, the jowling. Yes, she is saying the letter G away from her chin disappearing into a neck. I just can't. By the way, you guys need to not spend any more time arguing about how big this fat chick got. The point is that I'm probably going to listen to this on my headphones in my Uber. I've listened to it five times. I've listened to it five times. I will say the chorus does start to get catchy after the third time. Back it up, please. I'm going to listen to it again. I'm backing up a little bit right now. I'm bringing back ringtones for this. Look at her forearms. Good. Yeah, she's fat. Oh, yeah. She's fucking. Look at her fucking forearms. Dude, Biggie Smalls was fat, and he was the greatest lyricist. You tried jerking off Jelly Roll. You got to hold up belly and whack off. It's a two-hand gig. She's got Popeye forearms. Why, she's ambidextrous. She is what she is. We'll help you, friend. If she won't love you, then we'll plot her end. We'll kill her career and take her life. She'll work up the day she refused to be your wife. His fans work for blood. They love gang stalking. The big man said something bigger needs talking. And drugs and rap games are made to last But Christian rock the country I'll say I'm saved I'll think I'm legit Fuck this ass Fuck country radio Fuck all that shit Fuck country radio Fuck all that shit Fuck country radio Fuck all that shit Fuck all that shit Fuck all that shit Cosplay Christian Keep playing victim Time to put the devil under lies Praying all the children Praying all the billion Hollywood demon in disguise Cosplay Christian Keep playing them Guys, no, you're not supposed to like it Stop it Stop it right now Come on, girl. What is this? It's psychotic. Yo. She puts so much time into being a lunatic. Yo, fuck this bitch. This is like when you make a music video at the mall. Yo, fuck this bitch for being such a fantastically great rapper. She looks better here. Oh, nice kiss. Man. Pause it. Please don't objectify this whore. if there's anything if there's any legitimacy to any of her shit dude this I mean this is vicious as long as things can be true you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah she is dropping bombs I mean it was one of those things like if there's any realness to this at all like man he really he really regrets the day he fucking just answered her DM or whatever the fuck it was he regrets the day he's like damn dude I should have never went to that bar something there's somewhere he's like Why did I tell her if she said, yeah, sure, if she sent me a dildo video that I would listen to her stupid music or something? You know Jelly Roll better than me, man. I don't know him at all. I mean, this could be like a notebook situation where he's going to get back with her at some point. I don't think it was no what's going on. Yeah, none of us know for sure. No, I tell you what, that wife loves him for sure because I did his roast, and she sat next to him the entire roast. and as we roasted Jelly Roll, if you'd look back, he'd be laughing, the days would be laughing, everyone's laughing, and his wife would just sit there going like... She was just so upset. And we're going like, hey, he's fat, and he's fat. And she'd be like, oh, God. It's like filling a syringe with a happy... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, yeah. I don't know if I've seen his wife. She's hot, sure, yeah. Of course, yeah. All right, Bunny. Bunny. Bunny, I love you. Wait, bro, I gotta have the rest of the... this track. Come on. Oh, don't worry. I got a fever. We're going to play it three more times. Oh, God. Yeah, all right. All right. Yeah, Jet Roll looking like a race car driver that can't fit. Yeah, all right. And this lady back to the third wheel. And, Lewis, yeah, look. That belt, bitch is thick, no doubt. She's thick. No one's calling this girl slim or slender. She's thick. Yep. Thick, shady. There's one thing I don't care. Let's put this to bed. How the hell were you a fat coke head? Somebody called Dennis. They wanted to fathom. You sold your way. Oh, now the audience. Guys, don't fucking laugh. Now the audience is into it. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? That's a hack joke, by the way. It's a hack joke. Fat coke head. You guys ever heard comedy before? This is what Chris D fans get you. Back it up. I want to hear that fucking dope ass line. Yeah. Dumbass, stupid fucking audience. Stupid assholes. Drop that shit. Two, three, four. One, two, three. There's one thing I don't get. Let's put this to bed. How the hell were you a fat cocaine? Oh! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did Jesus make you dream the N-word, too? Did Jesus make you threaten winning you? Shared down me three times in my face, you spit. Call me Gurt Malone, I'ma haunt you with this shit. Cosplay Christian, keep playing victim. This is the craziest part. That's pretty, the chorus was a weird choice, for sure. Cosplay Christian, keep playing victim. This is still going. It's still going. This is the longest diss track of all time. So he sent her a cease and desist hush money. And she's offering hush money. He's offering her hush money. Yeah, for something. Allegedly, allegedly. This girl just gained 120 more fans. Shut up. Shut up, Denny. Tupac is breakdancing in his grave. That's crazy. Tupac's alive, Jason. Cuba. Well, that really backfired. Man, she's a really fantastic rapper. But I'm still, I'm always going to be Team Jelly Roll. I know him, and she's been a cunt to two people I know. But man, that track slaps, dude. You don't really think it's a good rap, do you? It's not the worst. I'd love to hear her side of the story. I'd love to. I think that was it. I don't quite... When she was talking... In lieu of small claims court, we went to rap battles. No, we're wrong. We watched her tell... She told something about it. When she was talking, the unlikable, where you're just like, oh my God. She should have rapped everything she's ever said in her whole life. Yeah, I wasn't paying close attention. Do you guys have any more context on what this is? What their beef is? Never mind. I love that. Louis was just fearless with the way Mike has handled this. The Hollywood demon in disguise. A three-hour tour. I'm going to hire her to play my birthday. Let's do plugs real quick and we have a lot more show here. Man, what are you plugging? You got a podcast. This is a story all about how Louis J. Gomez fucked me in that. Oh, no. I don't know what happened. Yeah, I'm Mayhem Miller. I'm on the Internet all the time. Yeah, at Mayhem Miller. Yeah, Mayhem Miller. Yeah, and buy a T-shirt, MayhemNow.com. They're fucking ugly, but wear them. There you go. Japan, L.A. Shut up, man. Japan, L.A. is the best. Yeah, JapanL.com, of course. That's my shop with plushies. Yes, I sell Hello Kitty. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, dude. Yeah, that's right. Unless you're six. No, no, but I hope you come check it out. Unless you're six Mexicans. They haven't tried yet. No, no, no. The five didn't work out. No, they did, yeah. No, no, I forgot to tell you at the end there was one more. Ah, shit. Yeah, but you know the rest of that story. Anyway, yeah, man, I'm plugging our next gig together. MTV Assholes, back in black. You down? We're going to host. We're going to. Wait, are you? Not allowed. You sell those at the store? Can you go? Yeah, yeah. Okay, Valentine's Day just passed. We had a big day, man. That's why I'm out here in New York celebrating with you guys right now. Valentine's Day with gangbusters. We had the girls walk dates through the store and buy it up. You got to do his podcast when you go out to L.A. It's above the store. Yeah, yeah. It's great, man. It's great. We have all type items. Did you have a passion for this? Like, why are you selling this stuff? Oh, yeah. Well, I always loved Hello Kitty. And then 20 years ago, I left my girlfriend, and then I got back with her. But you're also like a Japanese legend. Yeah, yeah. I'm like a normal, you know what I mean? like Hulk Hogan in Japan. Like in a weird, you know, cultural kind of fucking, hey, that's that white guy. Oh, yeah. On the train, people would just touch me to see if I'm real. My daughter loves Hello Kitty. I'm going to buy something. But he comes to Japan, LA or JapanLA.com or wait for our TikTok live. I will. Vinny, what are you talking about, my friend? All right. I'm Vinny. Follow me at Vinny Guadagnino. Go to the link in my bio for punch-up comedy dates. Got a couple coming up. How the fuck do I spell Guadagnino? You know, Guadalajara. I would threaten you, but I'm scared. Nah, I got your back, bro. Thank you, thank you. I'll be my own ass. And my podcast, Something Went Wrong with Vinny. Follow that. Subscribe. Thank you. Hell yeah. Janusz. History Hyenas Podcast. Oh! Yeah! Yeah. And Catch Me in Bakersfield, California this weekend? No, this may not air by then. All right, well, tell future dates that you want to go to. Oh, I'm going to be in Soul Joe's the night before his wedding in Potsdam, PA, Laugh, Austin, West Nyack, and Emmaus coming up. Emmaus, Pennsylvania, Giannis, Papas, Comedy.com, or HistoryHyenasIsBack.com. Hell yeah. Yeah, buddy. Lewis, come see me on the road, guys. I'm actually going to be in Emmaus at the end of the month, February 26th, and I'm in Pittsburgh right after that. Tacoma, Washington, Spokane, Toronto, and more. Go to LewisofSkanks.com, grab those tickets. Skank Fest pre-sale ticket sold out today in 3 minutes and 46 seconds. It's a new record, which is incredible. So if you want to come to Skankfest, you've got to wait until April 20th when we do our lineup drop and when tickets officially go on sale. Dave's birthday, Hitler's birthday, Columbine. Hell yeah, dude. It's ten years, right? Ten years in the making, guys. Skankfest X, baby. So get those tickets at skankfest.com. Shout out to your creative for making it all possible. Also, shout out to your creative for sponsoring my tour right now that I'm doing as well, the Rattle Me This Tour, coming to a city near you. Make sure you check out all the other podcasts that I do, Story Wars, The Regs, We'll Ask Podcast right here on Gas Digital. And buy my book, pre-order my book, Knives and Spoons. And if you guys love the show, we do a bonus episode every Friday night, just the three of us. The Friday Night Hang, and you get the uncensored, ad-free version of the show. Plus, I mean, I think 900 episodes that aren't available anywhere else on the Legion of Skanks podcast. Get the entire history of the Legion of Skanks Go to gasdigital use the promo code LOS and you save a couple bucks support the show directly and yeah that that Davey Oh, this Saturday, one night only, I'll be in Perryville, Maryland. It's almost sold out, but if you want to come, go grab tickets and help me sell it out. Oh, no, I just knew that one. And then, the weekend after that, I'll be here in New Jersey at the Dojo of Comedy, doing a full weekend there, which I rarely do shows in New York, New Jersey, so come on out to that. And then I'll be in Pittsburgh, Boston, Rosemont, Chicago, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, Phoenix, Houston, a bunch of stuff. ComicDaveSmith.com. I'm traveling a bunch this year, so come see me on the road. And my other podcast is Part of the Problem, and then I'm out on other shows and shit like that, so I don't know. The dojo's great. I love the dojo. It is fun. It's a fun room. It's run well. It's run very well. They have my favorite UFC video game in the green room. You can play as mayhem. I can play it. Let's go over there. Yeah. Meet me there in two weeks. BigJayComedy.com for all my dates. Greatest Yapper Live Tour happening right now. Posters almost done. I got the perfect one except the guy put me in blackface, so I got to change that. But I'm getting there. We're getting closer and closer each week. Greatest Yapper Live Tour. Coming to a city near you. It's like Jelly Roll. It's Jay Oakerson as Biggie Smalls. It's not offensive. No, it's me. It's just got put it up again. It's fucking edible roll. It's me except Biggie Smalls' eyes and lips. That's what I said. I want his eyes and lips. You look like a cosplaying Christian. We're working on it. It's getting better each week. We're going to figure it out, then we're going to get the poster out there. It's going to be awesome. People are going to love it. Catch me on my new tour, cosplaying Christian. I'm all over the place. I'm all over the place. I never, ever stop. This whole thing just became a fucking advertisement for Nicole Arbor's video. It was so good. You look like a fat co-ed. Bring up my dates. I am, this weekend, Nashville, Tennessee. Mike Fenoy going to be there with me. Zaney's doing three nights there. San Antonio, Texas after that. LOL Comedy Club. San Francisco. Cobbs. Huge room. Some tickets still available for that. These shows on the weekends are selling out. So fucking get your tickets now. Jacksonville, Florida. I love that place. It's in that hotel where it's like abused moms and hookers. Madison, Wisconsin, Comedy on State coming back there. Phoenix, Tempe. All going and going and going all through the summer. So look for a city near you. Hey, man, can I borrow some Sky Miles? Sure. Yeah, I have them, without a doubt. Look for a city near you. BigJComedy.com, of course. My YouTube page, Big J Comedy, where I'm doing live streams inconsistently. And maybe we're trying to get What's Your Fucking Deal back and get it up there. on a weekly release. That would be fucking awesome, the show we did on CISO. So look for that. And Story Wars, of course, and Bonfire on Faction Talk Series 6 and 103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. Oh, yeah. Have you done that Jacksonville room before? Yeah. I did it once, and this is a true story. It's like at a motel. And the first time I did it, I stayed in the motel. I still do. You still stay there? They tell me they put me down the street. I go, no, no, I want to live it. So I was going back to the show. So, swear to God, there was a guy just like a black kid, right? No shirt on, no shoes, just jeans, and a gun in his belt. Oh, dude. He was so black. He was so Florida. He was the black mayhem of Florida. Unbounded. Dude, he had a gun. I think that was my buddy Crazy Horse. In his waist belt. No socks and shoes on, no shirt. He went to the car. He got a giant teddy bear. Nice. And they just walked it up the stairs and brought it back to the room. I love that place. It's a weird place. Go outside. Yeah, hello, that's how I deliver JapanLA.com. I stay in that hotel. I go outside and smoke a cigarette night, and you see, like, a fat mom with a black eye bringing three children to a hotel room. Or prostitutes that just set up shop in there. It's such great people watching. There's an all-you-can-eat buffet in the lobby that's awful. It's just such a funny place to just stay. This motherfucker, the Dave and Attenborough of Jacksonville. Oh, absolutely. When I go there, I'm like, they say, we'll put you down the street in a nice hotel. I went, no, dude. Immerse me in it. Yeah. God's life. Let's live it this week. It's a special place. And then you go one block and there's a hole full. It's confusing. It's weird. It's weird. That's the place where I, I've told the story a bunch, but I stole food in front of someone's door. There's no food late night there at all. And someone definitely fell asleep in the room before their food got there. And you just took it. And I eventually, after three passes, took it all and ate it. Three passes? A little scavenger test in the water. Three passes. They're asleep. They're asleep. Somebody's got to remind you you're not poor anymore, man. It had nothing to do with poor. Yeah. Nothing was over. That place shut down. Did you do that move for Jesus, you know, so you're not a cosplay Christian? Where you go? Where you go? Hey, you're going to eat this food? Hey, guys, do we have to keep on saying the name of the song? I mean, what are we doing here? Cosplay Christian. Cosplay Christian. Hollywood demons, guys. Can we talk about this HGTV star? What's her name? you just put HGTV somewhere. And Ward Jones? He has a paper. He has a paper. He doesn't say any information on the paper. Well, they were fired. You should buy an iPad. Oh, quickly fired. Hold on, what is it? It's another Nicole. Is she also a great rapper? Yeah, Brown Simpson. Oh, let me guess, she has bars for days. Is she also very skinny, hot? Is she a good rapper? Is she hot, thin, and just fucking lays down lyrics? She spit hot fire. What's her name? Her name is Nicole Curtis. Nicole Curtis. Okay, so she got in trouble for saying the N-word. Who hasn't? Not in the same way that Jelly Roll said it. God damn it, Nicole, you're in my head. Also, who doesn't think that Jelly Roll said the N-word? Are you kidding me? He was a rapper. Yeah. Standard protocol. So this is what happens. Oh, yeah. Wait, so this is her next video? Now, this chick is thin and hot. Got it. Look at those thin arms. Louis, you just love her work. My. It's my last one. Oh, fart nigger. Dude, that was. Hey, I think Jesse Jackson would have proven that one. Dude, that was. I go, let heat cast the first stone. I mean, and I mean this, maybe the most innocent handbomb I've ever seen in my life. Because it wasn't even like there was no way. It just came from in her. It just went, oh, nigger. It's the first thing most of us yell when you fucking bash your fucking leg on a low fucking table. Or if a black person cuts you off in traffic. I'm talking about different things. When you bash your knee on something, there's nothing racial involved there. You just want to say the most hostile words possible. I think all of us white guys should give her a pass. Who must say? Can we see that moment again? That was so real. That was incredible. It came out. She can't curse at all. If someone punched you in the stomach and you went, and then they went, is a very offensive word. You'd be like, dude, I didn't fucking choose to say that. That's just what came out. What's funny is at first she says fart before it, And then when that comes out, she goes, fuck. She's being taped for a reality show. Let's see. Fuck. Oh, fart nigger. What is the fucking sad that I just said? Nick, you got to, you got to, can you kill that? It's why you always got to bring your own camera. I like, I like. You got to bring your own camera. You haven't cut to this one. The fact that fart came out before the N-bomb. It proves how real it was. It was silly. She was making a silly accent. It was just words. Silly, silly. I've said that word before. Fart? Fart N-bomb. Yeah, sure. Yeah? No, really? I think so. It's cathartic. I'm trying to make the shower. When? In what context have you said that? In like that. Exactly. You fucking stubbed your fucking toe or fucking banged your finger. Y'all don't ever catch Tourette's? I think so. No. You hit it up your will. Wait, what? You stubbed your toe and said fart nigger? Yeah. That's the thing that happened? It's knocking on the door of fart knocker. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It was an off technique that day. No, listen, that is such a crazy combination of words to come out of your mouth that I almost think it just gives you an instant pass. like you weren't you weren't thinking at all this was just it just came it's certainly not racial no no listen unless you're talking about it's turrets it's n-word turrets now wait hold on did you ever see the fucking girl that has the turrets show yes oh yeah did you ever watch it over here no but she says shit like this all the time she gets her own show well well uh if you didn't notice she had her own joke yeah you ever notice that the people that have that condition always love saying the n-word it's a little convenient a little bit i like does that always come in the package vinnie's energy is like that bitch doesn't have to split the check seven ways she lost her show she gets to say the n-word and split the check one way she doesn't have to have sex on tv under the covers she lost her show on hgtv but black people don't have homes or gardens so i don't understand what the problem is thanks folks that's just racist thanks folks you fucking piece of shit go watch the nicole Arbor show, you fucking cunt. This whole crowd stinks. No one wants to watch her show, but we all want to download her Spotify. She dropped a new shit. New Kung Fu Kitty. This show is like a fucking walking Tourette show. I was going to say, everybody's just spazzing out, punchlines. We've booked too many motherfuckers. It is. And she's done. That's disgraced forever. There's no coming back. Who, Nicole Ann Arbor? No, her. No, this one. But did this... Were they in production? She'll be fine. They were in production. Oh, someone leaked it or something? So listen, she said, yeah, she said, can you kill this? Okay. Meaning, like, to the producer. And the producer, if you listen, go back to and listen to what the producer says. By the way, before we go back to the video, I'd like to just say that this video was sent to me by a thousand fans all saying... Fartnigger. No. They all said, they go, dude, did you feel guilty being the guy holding the ladder? Now look at the guy holding the ladder. It's my first time ever remembering that and looking at this now. Dad You listen to what So like HGTV leaked Oh shit Partner What the fuck is that That I just said Nick you gotta You gotta Can you kill that Big change Big change Oh what's up Oh shit When was this 2008 Wow You don't got The mayhem hairstyle yet That's back when I played Bass in Power Man 5000 Yeah Wait it's not the Dig to the Dig to the Dig to the No That was my Oakley goggle phase. This is your Chris Spratt fucking sniper rifle phase? Listen to what the producer says. He's like, fuck no, cunt. We're using it. Is her dick out? I know. That's what I'm saying, man. She's not ready for a pegging. Oh my God. Is my dick out? Fuck my life. Oh, fart nigger. What the fuck is that that I just said? Nick, can you kill that? It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I'm going to work that line into my battle rap against this bitch. Wait, listen to what the producer said. Nicky. Can you kill that? Oh, shit. Turn it down. What'd he say? I don't know. Sorry, I blew it. What'd he say? Mike, does anyone know what the producer said? Yep. He says something along the way we're already recording or something like that. He can't stop. He goes, that's the biggest moment of my career. No. We can't kill it. I mean. It's a good question. Do you think they do that on purpose just to, like, get people to watch that? No, that never aired. This was, like, released. No, somebody fucked her. Somebody fucked her. Oh, somebody fucked her. She was shitty on set to somebody thought she was shitty, and they just did it. Or someone just went, I can get a viral video out of this, you know? She forgot all about that, like, three weeks later, and, like, kicked the snot boy in the dick. You see her face, dude. She's like, fuck. She knows this is going to be a problem. Really? I don't know, man. I would have fought that one in court. It's a weird system that we've come up with where we just go, like, there's just a moment where she's like, oh, my God, I can't believe I said that. And everyone's like, yep, the weight of slavery falls on you. You're now responsible for everything bad that ever happened. Do you know what? Sorry. Okay, so the video was released on the day of the last episode of the current season of her show, so it was, like, a little strategic. Yeah. And she says she knows where it's from. from a hard drive she had that only she and an ex-boyfriend had. Oh, so she just promoted her show and fucked over her ex-boyfriend in one stroke. No, no, no. No, he released it. No, she's saying he released it. She's saying it. She's saying, she's promoting her goddamn show, going, No, no, no, she's not promoting the show. She got canceled. She's fired. They removed the show from HGTV. They removed it from HBO. Okay, so did the three-year-old make it all the way down the hill? Yeah, and then Lou's sister starts telling me the fuck out of the way. I see, I see. Sorry, sorry. I'm not following this whole thing. Do we like her or hate her? She's a good rapper. We all agree. It's a different bar. Fucking bar. It's a different bar. This is all just one ongoing story. This shit is a melee right now. I don't even know what's going on. Billy, get after it. It's just a typical Saturday at Hunter Mountain, everybody. A fucking regular Saturday. Hunter Mountain. Wow. This all happened on one Saturday. This has been the craziest Saturday I've ever seen. I fucking love Saturdays in Hunter Mountain, dude. Bobby Dohigante. Yeah, I mean, like, look, I understand her having to, like, issue an apology. Look, you're on a mainstream TV show, HGTV. She should have just had to issue an apology to lose it all over a fucking dumb, like, blurb. Wait, yeah, no, wait, she did? HGTV, the home of Martha Stewart. wouldn't let her out of an N-bomb? All right. All right. It's not even an N-bomb. It's like an N-firecracker. That's it. Yeah, exactly. That is factually an N-firecracker. That's just a little fucking, not even like an M-80. It's like a little fucking pop. It's like hearing your grandmother fart. Yeah, yeah. It's like those stupid eyes. Hearing your grandmother fart. Yeah. I heard it. That's my car. In your voice. ChatGPT. My car, Nana FartNWord. No, no. No, no. Nona fart N-word. That's what I call it. Fart Nona? Stay, stay. Fart Nona? No, you eat. You gotta eat. You look so skinny. Come on, you listen to your fart N-word. You can come back from that one, though. Yeah, for sure. She's going to get a podcast. I feel like she'll come back. Oh, yeah, she can come back. I don't think black people are going to be upset about that. Dog and Bounty Hunter came back. He said it like she's going to be an example right now, dude. No, she's not going to come back tomorrow, but she can have a career after this. Yeah, she's got to go spend... Paul Colgan came back. Don't give out any hundred dollars. Her luck might be that she's not well-known enough now, I would argue, that she can come back on some different platform. Different form? Different platform. I don't know who she is, so if she did a show on fucking YouTube that got popular, I wouldn't be like, oh, this girl got cancer. Right? A diss track about how Louis J. Gomez? I'll tell you what, dude. Does she just own it and becomes Mrs. Fart? That'd be great, dude. That might be the move. Look, I'll say this, and maybe this says something about me. I'm rooting for her. I'm rooting for her to come back. I mean, this show would kill at the Apollo. She was like, yeah, I think she should be able to come back. I think it shouldn't end. I think this should be her. Yeah, I know. There should be an interview away for her being like. She should do home improvement at the Tourette's lady's house. Yeah. By the way, she's going to have a show on Rumble. The world doesn't work. Ben Shapiro, how did her? The truest answer is the most innocent, but the world will never hear that. She would just be like, come on, isn't that like a funny word? We say that at my house when I stub my toe. It's just a stupid funny word. The Legion of Gangs laughed at it. Yeah. But I'm saying like the world would just be like, no, you're a racist because you said that word. Do you know what I mean? There's no explaining. It's like, no, it's just a stupid funny thing. Well, that's the problem. It's like people have fake outrage. They've already forgotten about it, but she lost everything. Even like two days later, people move on to the next thing. Nobody gives a shit about this. Nobody's done. It was all fake outrage. Nobody really cares. But she actually legitimately lost something. It's devastating for her career. We got more villages to burn. Fuck that lady. They should make her have to go do home improvements in the hood now. Yeah, that's what she did. That's a great show, dude. Yeah, she does like a... I got the perfect title. She was just doing that. She drops something and she goes, fart crackers. I don't know. It's whatever environment I'm in. The force is balanced. We have two other things. Please. Can we play another track from that album? No, you son of a bitch. She's so good. God damn it. She doesn't even drop. She's building up a anticipation for her next year. I want to play Bailin Out Loud, the Tourette's Girl. I want to do a feature on that lady's album. Oh, yeah. Where's the Tourette's Girl? Do we have her? What's her greatest hits? It's there, dude. Yeah, I know what I'm saying. Look up on you. She puts fart and we're to shame. What do we Google, bro? No, that's it. That's it. Bailin. Greatest hits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. Greatest hits. Can you guys buy me fartnigger.com, please? And connect my website to it, please, right now. No asterisks, please. Oh, yeah. Backslash mayhem. That was my name in high school. Dot go. Louis, you're right. Why do I come here? I don't know. I don't know, bro. These really are my bad friends. These are my bad friends. No, but Vinny, the camera will show that you were doing this behind Louis. Well, listen. I brought my own camera. I don't run my own camera like Nicole. You can edit this up. Harbor. Harbor. You can chop Lewis up to make me. Do a track cosplay, Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican when it's convenient for you. Otherwise, you just hang with your white friends. Damn, dude. I hope she fucking flames your ass with a fucking hot song. She came at me with a song. With a hot 40 bar. I don't know if she fucking slays her. Then Cracker Vico would catch my back. 64, bro. I counted. 64 bars. Bitch is doing chess. Who's this? Your dad? James Gagolfini. Oh, sick. Look out. What the fuck? Maybe we should have put an egg in there. We should have put an egg in there. Red sauce. Are you joking? When does the home improvement start? What the fuck is this? Wait, is he joking for real? She's going to direct you out soon, I guess. They're just showing a nice family moment. I was promised a debilitating medical condition that we're all going to laugh at. She does not tick when we are in. Sorry. I'm bowling and the woman next to me tells me to f*** off. Oh, dude, the only place that you're not going to encounter a black person is at least in the end of her. You went bowling and he's right next to you. The only fart bowler in town. Fart bowler. Is that really happening right now? Oh, where are the fucking odds? The only black kid in the house in the bowling alley. Imagine you're dating this girl and she starts calling this black guy the N-word. You have to fight for her. They got size 15 shoes. What? Did I cite you out? I'm just kidding. I think she's fine. What the fuck, bro? This is her good day. She took her... Pause, pause. We're just watching a full episode of the show. Give us a compliment. It's a TikTok. before she got famous, she was doing it up on TikTok. I don't buy any of them have this. I just think they just want to say things. I don't buy it. Wait, so that was a personal achievement that she didn't say part number? Well, hang on, there's more. I was for the last chick, but this chick I feel like is milking it. Dude, the chorus was really good. That's why. You got to let her on cork. Let's see. Here we go. Here we go. Unleash the corking. She's completely lying. What condition makes you say the N-word? Louis T. Gomez is a motherfucker. Try to fuck me. Sorry. Wrap that wiener. Tap that wiener. I am. Tap that wiener. I am. Tap that wiener. Tap their history chicken. Stage four Tourette's is not a thing. This is jack off instruction. Stage three Tourette's isn't a thing. Stage two and stage one. Wait, pause it. I don't know where this has... Is she a child here? Child molester. How old is she here? Be careful, Dave. Before we... In this environment, be careful. Wait, what? Well, guys, before I start commenting on her looks... Oh, and as we ask... This is Louis being careful. Yeah, you're saying she filmed this on the island? Ask Grock how old she was. In this 2023 clip. You can't trust Grock. I've seen Grock get a lot of shit wrong. Yeah, she's 20. She's 20 here? All right, pretty toy. Hey, Grock runs the government. Pretty toy, please. All right, Louis is like, she's fat. All right, please. She's going to insult you. fat spick fat spick and you're going to be like no you can say spick but not farnager please that's the same no well it's you farts spick farts spick that's not the Tourette's by the way yeah you're lazy whoa that was nice where people think that there's stage 4 stage 1, 2, 3 and 4 Tourette's where did you read that? Where did you come about that? Because that is not a thing. I can assure you that it's not a thing. That's a wiener. A little wiener. Tap the wiener. Tap the history chicken. So. That is not the right way to tap a wiener. Oh, God. You know, ladies, I'm sorry. You didn't know. This is how crazy it can be. Hey, speak for yourself, bro. Tap the wiener. Tap the wiener. He could be this crazy and guys will sit like, yep, I fuck her. Yeah, 100%. This chick could be pregnant right now. She has a beautiful relationship. Does she? On the show? The guy's like a normal guy, yeah. Oh, there's no way. And does he keep her from a girl like that? No? What do you mean? Oh, my God. I'll just have one ear plugged in at all times. No way. You're trying to watch TV. You're on the head work constantly. It'll be funny for like a year. You got two funny years. I heard they elect. Funny for a year for a year. You start inviting people over more to show them how funny it is. And then you're on the altar going, what the fuck? We just slap. We just slap. I just want to watch Menace to Society once a year without you fucking screaming the N-word over it constantly. Take a bowling clap. Go ahead. Oh, perfect. Yeah. They took a glamour shot. Hey, man, that wasn't very exciting. I've got to be honest. I'm underwhelmed about her battle track. You know what I'm saying? If we put that one against Anna Nicole Smith, man, you know who comes out on top. Ann Coulter. Yeah, yeah. Nicole and fucking Karina. We can play some more Nicole Arbor music before we go. I'd like to. Let's do her most popular song on Spotify. Please. Maybe I'm wrong. I could be turned into a fan again. She might be the tightest female rapper working today. Best rapper I like. She got one where she dances and stuff. She had a famous one, Dear Black People, and people were like, fuck you, you white cunt. They hated that. And it was almost like, black people, act right. And she was just dancing and shit. Can we roll back the tape where she's skinny? No, she was hot back in the day. Yeah, yeah. She was very hot back in the day. I don't see Jenna Jameson today. You know what I'm saying? I don't see the hits. This is her just being hot? This is her number one song? It's a banger so far. I like it. Is she a Somali pirate? Oh, yeah. Look at me. I am the rapper now. Matt, dude. Lewis Oatswood. Is she getting it? What is this? Yeah. Is this black.com? Yeah, who are these fart writers? Oh, what? Oh, what? It's metal. Oh, this is horrible. Calm down. Reserve your judgment. All right. So, first of all, the budget to go to Jamaica like this. These poor kids. Oh, now it's black.com. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's a gangbang. No, yeah, I've been to hedonism. My husband's in the closet. Bumba Claude, the money's still gone. Fuck! Jesus! Oh, okay. See, she should just keep rapping and stop doing this part. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah! Oh, yeah, all right. And I ran the vacuum down. Pause it. This makes me sick to my stomach to say. There's substantially worse music out there. Not much. Not much, though. It's bad, dude. By the way, the last song, I was feeling. Yeah, this one was a little off. This one never touched me. Guys, guys, you just don't understand her earlier stuff. He's right. You know, you've got to see her first track. You know, they build upon each other. The man was OG Arbor. You guys are listening to Nicole Arbor, but you can't hear Nicole Arbor. You've got to be a different kind of person. It's the raps she doesn't say. She's the jazz of white girl rap. That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah. I mean, in that, a lot of black guys in her. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much. How about it for Jason Mayhem Miller, Vinny Guadagnino, Giannis Papas. Rest in peace, Chris DiStefano. Yeah. God bless his heart. For the Legion of Skanks, everybody. We'll catch you on the Friday Night Hang later this week. Until next time. Peace. You've been listening to the Legion of Skanks podcast With Big Jay Oakerson Did you suck it? I think I would instinctually suck it Thick with three C's You have to be fucking over, Louis Louis Gomez Louis Jay Gomez, you motherfucker Louis Jay Gomez You ever try to watch a retard draw swastika? That's hilarious I'm sort of known as a point guard of podcasting Being a fat gay guy is so fucking awesome And comedian Dave Smith You fucking godless, soulless sodomites. That's the fucking best joke I've ever heard in my life. It was eight inches. The Legion of Skanks podcast.