Aparna Nancherla asks about holiday party faux pas

This is a Head Gum Podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking the layout of each hole when you're playing mini golf. That'll cost you. You confidently putted your ball through the clown's mouth and it went straight into the water hazard. Ouch! Yeah, Checking First is smart. So check Allstate First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Full savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. In partnership with Airbnb, let's talk a little bit about travel. Tig, as you know, I'm about to go on my first big tour around the United States. And while I'm traveling in a bus, I want to make sure I get a couple nights in a nice comfy bed that's not on wheels. So I'm going to book a couple nights stay on Airbnb. That sounds like a plan, Mae. What area are you looking? Well, I'm going to be in Florida, which I'm very excited about. And I'd love to find somewhere with a hot tub or a sauna that I can relax in. Maybe some nice nature nearby, like a big park or something. I love finding a home on Airbnb because I know I can get the place all to myself and I can read tons of reviews and make sure it's a great place. Airbnb also has guest favorites badges that show me the highest rated and most loved homes. I've just never gone wrong booking one of those. You know I swam with sharks in Florida. Is that something you would ever try? I hadn't thought about that. But if I'm near the ocean, then who knows? Maybe I will. On the other hand, if I find a really nice place on Airbnb, I may just never want to leave. Had some pot. Chattanooga friends on the Had some pot. Chattanooga friends on the Had some pot. Cheers. Welcome to the Had some pot. It's your friend, Tignotaros, in here with? May Martin. And fortune memes. Oh, happy holidays. Yeah. Oh, it is a season. It is. It sure is. It is. If you're watching, you'll, you'll know this, but tag is wearing a very handsome robe dressing gown. Yeah. If not sexy. Yes. Tag Hefner. Yeah. Is that who we're looking at? That's right. Is this your, this is your robe that you brought to Toronto? No, ma'am. I'm just in my hotel room and I am, you know, it's almost eight PM here, but I have a very early call time. And so once this episode is wrapped, this little rascal is climbing into bed and going night night. So. Going night night. Are you going to go night night in your robe? No, no, no. Are you going full command though? I, I, I sleep in my panties. I think we've already discussed this many times. I sleep in my big girl panties. And your grandsy pansies. You look so cozy. Have you had a bath? I did. I had a bath. I had dinner. Tell us about it. Okay. Well, do you want to know about my dinner? Well, first I want to know about the bath and then I want to know about your dinner. Girl, dinner before the bath. Whoa. Are you okay? Girl, are you okay? Girl, girl, I had a cough, girl. Are you sick? Fortunately, I know what it is. I take all of my throat. Huh? Because we were, the past two days, me and Fortune were filming on Fortune's show and they had all that like fake smoke atmosphere in the air. Yeah. And it was mess my. That happens on Star Trek too. Mess my chest up today and yesterday. Yeah. The air is so thick and like chalky and is that, you think that's what it is Fortune? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I cough for a few days after Star Trek, um, because there's explosions always. Yeah. Yeah. Don't get away from telling us about your bath and dinner. Yeah, sorry. Girl, I have to tell you about my dinner first because I like to go to work. Well, my favorite restaurant, and this is no offense to my other favorite restaurants, but Planta is here. Have I talked to you about this? I just, yeah, I've heard you mentioned this place, but do you have a signature dish there? Oh my gosh, all of them, but their dessert is called, one of their desserts is just simply called Big Cookie. Have I told you about Big Cookie? Oh God, I love that. And also that should be like a rap name. Big Cookie. Well, when, when we go to the Planta in LA, there's this waitress that we always get. And she knows that Stephanie and Max and Finn and I always jokingly call it Big Cookie. It just sounds so like. Big Cookie. Yeah. Like, and what would you like for dessert? Big Cookie. Like they don't say what the flavor is. They don't. And it's a chocolate chip cookie, but they only call it Big Cookie. And so when we get her as our waiter in LA, she's always like, and do you guys want Big Cookie? And I'm like, yes, yes, we do. So yeah, I love all their stuff, but I had, they have eggplant. What is it called? Unagi. Oh. And it's so good. Like Japanese style. Yeah. Yeah. So you filled up, filled up your little tum. Yes, I did. That wasn't the only thing I had. I had that and I also had a Caesar salad and I went ahead and had Big Cookie. Nice. And it's a good size. It's like, it's big. And they call it that for a reason. Yeah. Love it. And then I love you too. And then I finished that up. I wiped my face off and got into the tub. Fully naked. You guys. Oh, girl. Girl. Yeah, girl. I took a bath fully naked today. Wow. A bubble bath. Is it a tits out tub or? Tits out. Oh my gosh. My dumpster tits were hanging out all over the place. It was insane. Yeah. You think you messed your chest up at work, Fortune? My chest is all sorts of mess. Unrecognizable. Yeah. How are you both doing? I'm good because I'm buzzing from getting to do these couple of days on Fortune's show. And I was so nervous, but I loved seeing our girl, Marie, in action. Amazing. The bell of the ball. Just everyone, like surrounded by a gaggle of girls who just want to gossip. And it was so fun. It's so fun on set. There is a gaggle of women that just sit around and chat in between setups and stuff and do they work on the show or they just bring them into chat? They do work on the show. OK, well, there's a lot of women that work for him and then his company. So it's a real fun vibe. So as soon as May sat down, we were I said, may give him the hot goss. And I did share with the gals and I overshared. And I got. What was it? Oh, my whole romantic history. We got deep. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We got we give each other advice. We go, oh, no, no. Oh, we do a lot of that. Yeah. So May was brought right into the fold of the gabbing. That happens yesterday. I had to shoot a shoot a gun and shoot it five times. And it was pressure was on because they have like a special effects set up where like dust falls from the ceiling like you've shot it. But I had to try and Hollywood magic, Hollywood magic. And I got it wrong the first time, mainly because after the first shot, Will did this like womanly scream that was so funny to me and so will ferrell. And there's nothing funnier than a man shrieking like that. And I was like, I'm in heaven. I kept having out of body, like in the little green room area with with Molly Shannon and will ferrell like heroes of mine. And they were fortunate. Femester was likely there. Of course. Fortune. I was going in and out of that room because I I sit with the village gals and then I go in there because normally we're all together. But in this particular location, everyone was separated. Yeah. Mm hmm. But man, hearing like stories from 90s SNL and they were I was just like in total heaven. What nice people, silly, nice people. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fun show. Yeah. Great. Yeah. We got to, you know, figure this out so I can do my part. That's right. Yeah. I was sadly unavailable when I was asked to come in. Oh, I wonder who replaced me. I hope it wasn't me. I don't think it was. No, it wasn't because it was when I was filming last time I was in Toronto. OK, OK. So whoever that was. But either way, well, that sounds like a darn good time, especially to be able to sit around. Oh, no way. No, a news flash. Go to YouTube. Go to YouTube. Serious news flash. Don't even say what happened. Wow. OK. We've been blessed by the presence of an angel here. Yes, we are. I'll give you one clue. His eyes dead. No. They're full of life. Oh, look at him. I'm back with my baby bear for a little bit. Oh, my gosh. I have really missed him. I think about him probably every other day. I miss him too. Oh. He's so cute. His eyes. How are they looking? Is he flying? How are his eyes looking? Dead, completely dead. Yeah, but he's so cute. Oh, my God. And what has he been up to? He's been he's from. He's from a broken home now. So he has to. That's so sad. How does he like the new house? He likes it because, you know, there's some it's well, hold on. What the hell was that? He just I think big. He just coughed. He's getting older, so he has a wheeze. You guys need to lie down and take the rest of the day off. I know. Jeez. He knew houses good because it's small and he can scoot around it easily. Yeah. And there's a back a little backyard with grass in there that he likes to tinkle in. Oh, and some of the not much, but a couple of furniture pieces are from the old house that he's like, I know this furniture. This house is unfamiliar, but yeah, he's. Does he seem confused being from a broken home now? Or does he seem could you tell the difference? Yeah, he always he's always a bit. He's always chill. So yeah, he becomes attached to whoever he's with, you know, right? So when he's with the jacks, he's very attached to her and follows her around. And when he is with me, he's very attached to me and follows me around and, you know, I think that just is whoever he's with. That's where his heart is. Yeah. Imagine if this if this podcast ever broke up, I'd be I feel like I'd be the biggie. Yeah. Oh, I see. I feel like if this podcast breaks up, I'm getting biggie. Oh, God. Threat. Wouldn't that be a weird outcome? Yeah, I'm going to have to take biggie. I don't think biggie would stick out in Kitty City. I really don't because the cats just lounge around on the bed together. I think they would manipulate him like older siblings. Like they they're they're cats are smart. I feel like they'd have him doing their errands for them and like they'd convince him to steal stuff from the fridge. And yeah, he's intrigued by cats because he hasn't spent hardly any time around them. So he sees him like like an outdoor cat and he'll be like, what's your deal? I feel like the little cloud above biggie's head is always just like saying whatevs, whatevs. Whatevs, yeah. He seems fine with whatevs. Yeah. Like, you know how they sometimes they train dogs to press buttons that say words to communicate like outside food, whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, with biggie, you'd get all the buttons and then you'd get one that says whatevs and he just hit that every time. He'd hit it all day and when he's not eating or sleeping or tingling in the grass. Stop calling me dead as I'm full of life. Yeah, yeah, probably. Take I told fortune this on a mini soad, but I haven't told you that I I got a car. Yeah, that is ridiculous. I it right. You it is ridiculous. Why would you get a car? I'm pumped about it. I don't have my license yet either, but I have my learners permit and I'm learning. So I got a car so I could practice every day. I've been bopping around. Is it a Black suburban or Cadillac? A Black. It's a Lexus and it's it looks like a little Subaru almost. It's oh, yeah, yeah. It's cute. Yeah. I so when I'm driving, I have to have someone with me in the car, but I cannot have music music playing. I can't have anyone talking to me. I'm focused. I got the guy on this on telling me where to go and the voice of the map. And I'm loving it. Wait, and you have not gotten your license yet. No. So when I bought the car, I couldn't even test drive it because you got it. You and you can't drive it off the lot unless you have insurance. So I had to get my assistant to have to be on on their insurance. And it was a whole thing. But I do my test on on Monday and by the time this comes out, hopefully, I'm going to be driving Santa's goddamn sleigh. Who knows? Wow, May. Huge congrats. Thanks. Yeah, I can't. I can't wait to drive you guys somewhere. I know. Um, I will meet you there. Yeah, that's fair. No, I think I think I'm going to get the muscle memory and be be a natural. Yeah. I did bump a car with I did hit a car. But I was just well, I was trying to parallel park and I just gave it a little tap and then I thought I'm not going to park here. And I was usually fine. Yeah. Yeah. Are they as long as it's a little tap? Yeah. If the owner of the car saw the little tap, would you feel like, oh, that's fine. Well, they would have to suss it out. And I would say, listen, I'm on my assistant's insurance. I don't have my full license. Please give me a break. Yeah. But it feels good to be in my little world in my in my car, in my bubble. I love it for you. And what made you buy a car? Because you knew you you're feeling confident you're going to pass this test and you're ready to hit the road. I've done so many lessons and I feel like I if I I should be driving every day just to really get it in my system and it would help me pass the test. So I've been just just practicing. That is adorable. I do feel like a grown up. Like I it's actually changed how I feel about myself and my life. Like I feel. Yeah. Like I really feel safer. And did you you really didn't feel like an adult before two days ago? No, no. No, it's interesting. I've no I was living I was living wrong. Living La Vida Loca. I was living La Vida Loca. And what language is that? Espanyol. Wow. Espanyol. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking what you're unplugging when you're finding a spot on the extension cord for your phone charger. Uh oh. My phone's now charged, but my laptop's at zero percent. Yeah. Checking first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. A thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well and last. That's where Quince shines. 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You know, you don't know this, but I'll tell you our housekeeper when she comes over when she sees our cats, she's like, oh, that means cat. I know. But when you think about it, like if I went to somebody's house, I wouldn't just say cat. They should maybe not know their names. I don't think so. But she's essentially saying the cat, right? The cat. The cat. The cat. El gato. Yeah. So I it hit me the other day. And I said that to Stephanie. I was like, wait, isn't she essentially walking in every morning and just saying the cat? Yeah. And she says it in a very loving voice. I love it. Yeah. It's just a it's just a funny little thought. The cat. And there's multiple. So she's not even saying Los Gatos. Oh, hello, fortune. Yeah, that's the plural of cats. You know what I forgot to tell you guys? Please. We had a funny moment at our house the other day. What happened? Finn said fortune asked something about fortune or said something about fortune. And and what? Yeah, I can't remember. I can't remember what he asked or said. And then I just I was kind of taking a moment to where I was like, you know, he's only met you once or twice or something. Twice. Yeah. And and so I was like, oh, because in my head, I'm thinking, of course, he remembers you. And I said, that's so funny that you brought up fortune. I said, do you do you remember fortune? And he said, yeah. And I said, do you know fortune's last name? And he said a theme star. And I was like, whoa. Whoa. Yeah. And then I said, do you know my other co-host on handsome? And he said, yeah, May Martin. No way. Yes. Wait, what? And I'm sorry. I'm a handsome listener. Yeah. But it was one of those moments where, you know, people say kids are like sponges and all that kind of stuff. And yeah, it's not like I walk around the house going fortune themesters on the phone or I need to, you know, make sure to tell May Martin. And that he said that he pronounced it correctly with my last name. Completely, completely. Impressive. It's such a tiny little thing, but it it blew our minds. I was like, wow, blows my mind. Yeah. I wonder what I wonder what else is in there, you know. Oh my gosh, there's so many moments like that. I will say that I was I was visiting with Alma recently and she was playing on like a thing that was going to break or something. So I went, oh, Alma, don't play on that. And she goes, I'm not playing. I'm gay. And and she's seven. And I went, what? And then I said, what do you know what do you what is gay mean to you? And she goes, you're gay. And I said, what is it? And she goes, it's yeah, it's one of a boy, Mary's a boy. And I was like, OK, but I'm not I'm not playing. I'm gay and was so good. And then the other good one she had was I said, I was trying to give a May fact. And I went, did you know that the reason that they put clementines and oranges in Christmas stockings and she goes, oranges, oranges, I was speechless. I was like, that is so good. I'm saying the movies, oranges, or a film, more like Borofil. Yeah. And how she's seven now? Yes. And she's funny and she knows when she's funny. And I laughed so hard at oranges that then for the whole rest of the day, it was Boringes 24 seven. It was she kept whipping it up. I have to be honest, I feel a little like Boringes, too. What do you mean? I'm just not terribly into oranges. I like orange candies. Oh, wow. Yeah, I know. I'm here to blow your mind. I don't know really either. I know that shocking because I'm really known for all the fruit I consume. You're known for it. Fruity fortune. Fruity fortune. Yeah, I don't like I'm not a real texture crazy person, but the texture of like those little white things you have to peel off the in between the knee. I'm just like, no, thank you. It's Russian roulette with an orange in a way that most fruits, there's a little more consistency, you know, you're getting with an orange. It could either be the most delicious, sweet, fresh, cold or it's actual garbage, you know, when it's when it's all pithy and on the on the edge. I'll eat them. It's just not the same as a what are the honey crisp apple for me? A honey crisp apple is like, oh, you know who like so. My boy, Biggie, really, he loves to just nibble on a little apple. He's just like, oh, love it. That is cute. Yeah, very precious. I always let my cat smell anything that's on my fork or spoon because I'm curious their response. I'll be like, oh, you want to smell this? And then sometimes they're very interested. And other times is like, what the hell? Yeah, yeah. Really good information to keep it coming. Keep it coming, buddy. Yeah, all of us today are the stuff we're coming up with is pure gold. Well, because, you know, the holidays are upon us. So we're exactly thinking we're I think we're getting in holiday mode. Yeah, that must be what's going on. Yeah, not the slow decline of our lives. And we'll be right back. We have to make our lives are all going down a hill into a fiery pit. And I'm voting right here on live. Oh, wait, what? Oh, my God. I guess like after what, 30, you are. And it is a sort of inevitable cognitive decline. Oh, sorry. Is that your body? Keep these positive facts coming. Happy holidays, but your body does start to die after 25 years. Really? Yeah, it starts to just I don't think your body makes any new cells or, you know, I'm also not reliable as far as science or anything really. I've been trying to have cozy, Tom, because I hello. I've been putting the fireplace on at night. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And getting a blanket out. Go on. And me and my biggie boy cut a little couch. Yeah, I did open up a bottle of wine the other night. And then you recorked it immediately. I poured one glass and recorked it. I put out my little tiny pink Christmas tree. How tiny? You have a tiny pink Christmas four footer. No, not maybe a three and a half footer. OK, little. OK, well, let's find out. Is it three and a half or four feet? Three and a half. All right. And it's pink. That's nice. I got a tree and my my friend Matt, who lives in the back and his girlfriend, she has never decorated a tree before. It's just not a thing in China and she was so excited. And I bought all these ornaments and stuff and and lights. And then it really I had to make such a conscious effort to just let her do her thing. Like I didn't realize till we started how opinionated I was about like, oh, well, we can. Yeah, that's a little high for that ball. Like, I want to space it out a little. And the lights, especially, I'm like, you got to put the lights deep in by the stock. The trunk. Yeah. And it's pretty wild with the result, but it looks pretty cozy. Have you guys done decorations to. We had a little bit of a tree trimming party with Stephanie's mother, which we. She comes in town and and she's the strongest one out of everyone. And what do you mean? She is like like pump and iron. Not no, but she's just like she's sturdy. She's a sturdy woman. And sure, she's inching towards 70, but like she climbs up into our our garage and pulls down every we just it depends on what our holiday plans are. If we get a real tree or we use a fake one. So this year we use the the fake one and man, Nana pulled that down off of that top shelf. And and yeah. So we had a nice night of Christmas music and. Well, I was going to say eggnog, but we had oat nog. Oh, oh. We had a dog and we put the ornaments on and yeah, and all the kitties circled around. It was nice. And I feel very lucky and thankful that Nana she could be like, yeah, whatevs. I live I live a couple hours away. I'm not going to be driving in for a night, you know, which comes in spends a night. We have our little tree trimming party and it's just Max and she always brings Max and Finn Christmas socks and they wear them year round. And it's just great. It's a good time. I feel like tree trimming must be a euphemism for something. Haven't like having a tree trimming. I don't know. Like trimming bush. Yeah. Well, fortune fortune. Marine. You said a euphemism for something. I mean, what else could it be? It's not. But I realized a toxic quality I have. Sometimes I set you up for. I'll say something vaguely for me to take the fall, baby. Yeah, I don't go all the way and they're very toxic. I'm toxic. You're like, let me see how I can get fortune and trouble with TIG. You shouldn't play Britney Spears toxic right now. Drop that in for a little bit. It's getting late. Oh my God. What a pretty sir. That's a handsome question. Oh my God. My. He's lucky. She's a star. What's my OK? My best Britney Spears asking a handsome question would be. Hello, heads up. I'd be here doing. It's not kind of what her Instagram is like these days. Like a little Liza Manelli in there. And she's like spinning around. My question for you is simply this. I enjoy Britney. I love her. Well, I took Stephanie. I got Stephanie. Britney Spears and Vegas tickets years ago and we went together and saw that. And how was it? It was great. The grandmother side of me came out. I'm not that familiar with her music, but a lot of people had on hats that said work, bitch. That's right. You better work, bitch. OK. You better work, bitch. And I didn't know that was her song. And I was like, that's kind of rude. I am working. Stop calling me a bitch. But now something did happen during the concert. Oh. And I think what I saw and Stephanie saw was what was happening. And if you are from the Britney Spears team, please get in touch and correct us if we're wrong. But when she was dancing and singing. You saw a titty. No, I think I saw something used for menstrual cycles, maybe in pad form. No, it was sticking out. And then she mysteriously danced off stage for a while. Oh, my God. I just met someone from the team. Hello, we would like to talk to a correction there. Oh, my God. But I was like, Stephanie, what is that weird white thing sticking out of for Leotard and, you know, whatever. And stuff is like, oh, my God. And then truly moments later, she danced awkwardly off the stage. Wow. And then she reappeared and it was not there anymore. See, this is the problem with Leotard. That's why I stay away from him. Yeah, because you have. Exactly why the three of us, including Thomas, I would imagine he keeps his distance from a little big old pad coming out of my leotard. Because that's what you. I thought you used 200 tampons. Plug up my computer. I need all those tampons to plug my computer. I have an embarrassing story that I just thought of that I haven't thought of in so long, which is age 14 at Second City, like 14, you're still figuring your period out. Like, you know what I mean? You're too embarrassed to ask advice or anything and you're free styling. And yeah, braces, acne, long hair. And I guess I'd run out of like tampons or pads or whatever. And I just wad it up toilet paper. Yeah. Is this gross? Whatever. And whatevs, right? Biggie. So it was in my jeans, in my underwear, and it must have fallen out and down my trouser leg and out onto the floor. And then somebody found it was like, oh, it was in Second City, the comedy club on the floor and someone was going, there's a bloody tissue on the floor. And I was going, I was going, oh, no. Who's is that? And my heart was pounding. Disgusting. You knew it was your bloody tissue. Oh, right away. Yeah. Oh, my God. They don't test this for DNA. Yeah. Oh, God. What if that's what Second City was like, if you find any bloody tissue on the stage, we do have a DNA tester. Yeah. Send it to the Second City lab. Yeah. The front bottom. So someone had to be the one to pick it up. Oh, it's poor. It would be weird if I was like, I don't know who's that is, but I'll pick it up. I'll pick it up and I'll throw it away. You guys, in the whole time, you're like, this is disgusting, you guys. You guys, my friend, Steph Willen, who is also a producer on Come See Me in the Good Light, the Andrea Doc, the one who got thumbed at the dinner party. Yeah. If you haven't seen Come See Me in the Good Light, check it out. You'll see who's got this. What's wrong with the little thumb here and there? That's not what we're talking about right now, but listen, Steph had just moved to LA. She had gotten an acting job, but she was completely unaware of how props worked or anything like that. And she was told in a rehearsal when they were blocking the scene and rehearsing and whatever. They were like, and then this is, and then at this point, then Steph will throw her dirty underwear. Oh, this onto the floor. This rings a bell. And she was like, oh, God, this is so uncomfortable. But she took her underwear off for her real underwear. That's right. Anyway, so, yeah. And then somebody was like, who's underwear is like after somebody, everybody had walked away. Somebody asked who's underwear that was. It's just like, oh, it's mine. Oh, my God. No, we use prop underwear. You don't have to take your own filthy underwear off. See that? I go all the way around. I go, purell on us. Your bloody underwear. Should we go to our question and ask her? Yes, off that. You don't talk about this and talk about periods. If anybody is listening still. Yeah. Today's question asker is a standoff comedian and actor who's appeared in shows like corporate, the Great North and Bojack Horseman, her brand new comedy special, Hopeful Potato. What a great name is out now on Dropout TV. Aparna Nancherla is asking today's question. Hi, she's one of the best. She really is so funny. Hello, handsome. Is I a partner in Charla? I am so honored to be speaking to all three of you together. I'm a huge fan of each of you. I love you all. And I've never had the privilege of speaking to you as one big, powerful, holy trinity. So what a day. What a day. Here's my question. What is the biggest faux pas you've made at a holiday party? Now, a holiday party traditionally a place where someone might indulge in a little too much nog, gently cross a boundary, say something they shouldn't have to the wrong person. So, you know, anything along those lines, I invite you to get as messy, as gratuitous as possible. I really want you to go there and I will accompany you there as well. I have all the faith in the world that Aparna has a nightmare story. A good story. I just I have she is she it's just of course this is her question. Yeah, of course she's got a great. But I just have to say she is by far one of my favorite stand-ups. Yeah, she's very funny. She is so funny. I can't remember the first time I saw her. But yeah, she is one of the yeah, so smart to I mean, one powerful, holy trinity. Why have we never been called that before? Why isn't that the name of our podcast? Yeah, holiday party faux pas. I am in the holiday parties because usually there's going to be a lot of good snacks. Oh, yeah. I feel like the especially Christmas parties. Yeah, or like that. I feel like it's more food than my other like a birthday party. Yes, just feels like it's colder outside. People just want to eat. And you know what? Like they're more substantial snacks. Like at a regular party, you might get what's chips in a dip. Christmas party, you're getting pigs in a blanket. Beef Wellington. Well, yeah, I'll still go anywhere for chips in a dip. Yeah, that's true. I love a chip in a dip. I love you too. So I part of my faux pas is usually going straight for the food table and like having no self control and just shoving a lot of cheese into my mouth. Had a girl and people are like, I've just gotten to the party. So they're trying to talk to me and I'm just like cheese. You're like, where is the cheese? Yeah, I'm spilling stuff everywhere. That's usually my faux pas is just being a beast. Mm hmm. I had a friend or have a friend called Gabby, who's a very tactile person and also highly anxious. And she I once found her at a party. She didn't know anyone. I brought her as my plus one and I found her at the snack table and she was without thinking she was talking to someone and she was stroking the brie. Like like touching the brie and I went top of it. The yeah. I think does that mean the same thing as trimming the tree? She was stroking the bush again and trimming the tree. Yeah. And she was like, I just like how it feels. And I was like, you can't you can't do that. No, I'll tell you, somebody a person's faux pas that I was it was not my faux pas, but I had to be a part of it. OK, I went to one Christmas party and people have been drinking and having a good time. And here's the thing. I'm always very conscious of when I go to a party. If you go to the bathroom, you got to like make sure the doors locked. Like it's just party one on one because people are trying to get in there and see you doing your business. Yeah. And you know, it'd be like, you don't want to be like on a toilet with your pants around your legs and someone's busing in. So it was near the end of the night. A lot of people had were gone and I went to the bathroom and I opened the door because it was unlocked. And there were two people on the floor of the bathroom doing the doing the dirty deed on the floor on the floor. Having full intercourse. Who cares about that, May? And we're touching the floor. And this was an adult party. This is like four years ago. This is like high school. Did you know the people? Yes. And so then my faux pas probably was I think you're like you walk in on that. You shut the door and move on with your you just sat on the toilet. No, my football was I slowly shut the door and I went back to the party and told everybody. So when they came out, everyone's like staring at them. And I hope not touching them. Who were these people? Go ahead and I'll never tell. I'll never tell. Can we bleep it out? Just tell us right now. No, I'll tell you later. Do we know them? I don't think you know the girl. Oh, but we know you might know the guy. Love it. I love it. It was not Thomas. I did not know Thomas then. But that's a faux pas for sure. I don't think you should be doing that in another person's bathroom. Yeah. Not be during a party and you should. And if you are going to break these rules, you have to lock the door. And were they clearly drunk? They've been drinking, but I don't know that they were like hammered. I think they just wanted to have sex. Yeah. And also you know, it's horny. And it's never going to be like a couple who's been married for 15 years that are doing that. It's going to be two people who probably. It was a new situation. New situation. Are they still together? They are not. I don't think they lasted much longer. Past that night. Maybe a couple months past that. Yeah. Uh huh. Imagine if you asked your parents how you were conceived. And they said on the floor. Well, I just was like, oh my gosh, she was like basically on on top of them. And I was just like, oh, gross. Oh my God. I mean, gross. And did they see you come in? They sure did. Oh my gosh. That is everybody involved faux pod. I they were like, I can't believe you told everybody. I was like, I'm the one. Were they legitimately upset with you? No, they weren't. They weren't upset, but more. Yeah. More sheepish. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's so funny. But, you know, it was a bunch of comedians that were there. So yeah, yeah, they were all laughing. Nobody was like, you know, it was like whatever. Good to have a little gossip at the party. That's pretty juicy. Yeah, that was a juicy moment. Were they like whatevs? Like, like they just kind of like came out of the bathroom and was like, what's up, everybody? Hey, what's going on? Just waiting for you to stop having sex on the toilet. No, this was in the floor. No, I know. I'm just trying to move them off the floor in my mind. It's so gross. It's so gross. I have had sex in bathrooms, though. On the floor. I think so. I have not. I have not ventured into it. I've not done that. I think I will definitely in the bathroom on a train. Wait, on a train? Yeah. Oh, like on a. What did you think? I was thinking of like a, you know, the trains that go around the village of a Christmas tree. Oh, I like the little. Season. Like a little caboose. I was trying to picture that. Like, oh, I mean, on an actual train. Gotcha. Yeah, in the bathroom or yeah. You just couldn't. You were just so like, I guess we got to right now. Yeah, I think so. But yeah, looking back, I should. Yeah, pretty good. Go up to that person and say, chug a chug a choo choo. You know what I mean? And you know what I mean? And they do you know this person? Yes, we were. We were dating. Oh, she was closeted. So and a lot of people we knew were on the train going up to Edinburgh Fringe Festival and nobody knew we were dating and it was during that like hellish time. And then. But I was sure her name off the pod. Yes. But yeah, I had a holiday party on Sunday. I had a little gathering of just I mean, I realized all my friends in L.A. are like. Toronto friends from 20 years ago. Like I I've got Matt, Alana, my friend, Ali, Sabrina, Jalee, they're all people I've known since my teens. So we were all live in L.A. or yeah. Yeah, I just followed them here, I guess. And yeah, but we did we did the tree. And then my faux paul was trying to make everyone play Pictionary. That was you do. That one game. Oh, I went down like a little. Let the. Loans. Oh, they didn't like it. So it depends on the group and the in the vibe. I think it came with all these rules and instructions. I remember Pictionary being very chill and loose, but it was really rigid. Yeah, but who made it rigid? Me. Well, that's a fun time. You're like a rule person with the games like we got to do this. This is what how it goes. You cannot do that. Give me the cards. Maybe a little bit. But I wanted I made Rice Krispies squares. That was the good thing I did at the party. Like it's so easy. Marshmallows and butter, bit of vanilla and then just pour in a box of Rice Krispies, don't even have to bake it. Just let it cool. Oh, oh my God. It's OK if it jiggles, right? Do you ever call it Rice Krispies treats or do you call them squares? Oh, in Canada, we say squares. Oh, we call them treats. Yeah, we take it up a notch. Yeah, we're like, it's more than a square. It's a treat. We're not getting a you know, we're not projecting that it's going to be good. Yeah, we just go, it's a square. Well, that's like if you call somebody a total square, you should call them a total treat. You are a total treat. Yeah. And that guy's a total treat. Do you have any faux pas? Tig, that you've made? Well, I think I make them all the time. Just trying to make my way through this life. But as the slow decline. Yes, and to barreling into hell and. And then. I don't feel that way. I don't feel that I'm barreling into hell, but it is fun to say. Yeah, I don't I don't know. I'm I would say this isn't a holiday faux pas. So apologies, Aparna, and get off my back. It's a setsu, Aparna. But I went to a Sundance party. It was my first time ever at Sundance. And a friend of mine told me to meet her there. And that it was people from the TV show, E.R. that were having this party. And I was standing outside and I was like knocking on the door and ringing the doorbell and nobody answered because there was loud music and nobody was like, oh, somebody's in the door. It was just like I just was like, you know, politely standing out there ringing, dinging and knocking and then somebody came out and then I went in and I was waiting for my friend who I didn't see anywhere and I was feeling a little kind of I didn't know where to go or what to do. And so I went and stood by the snacks and I just really got into those snacks. I had been snowboarding all day. Yeah. And I had my sunglasses around my neck still. Good luck. And it was like on that kind of little rope string, string, whatever my sunglasses were hanging on and I'm having snacks until the cows come home, just eating by myself by the table like me. Yes. And this girl comes up and starts talking to me and we're chatting. And then after she walked away, I looked down and you guys, my glasses had collected all of the crumbs of my snacks that I was eating. And they were just it was like, yeah, it was just like a cradle of crumbs hanging around my neck and it was I was like, oh my god, like what did this person think? And also was she on ER? Yeah, was it Juliana Margolis? Yeah, I have no idea. How did you say her name? How what is your name? No, I just do say it. Give it another whirl. Okay, I'm saying Juliana Margolis. Margolis. I like that. What? What is it? I think it's Margolis. Yeah, I feel like I like the gay version of her. Yeah. Why can't I think of another actress on that show? I know I couldn't either. I went Noah Wiley, George Clooney. Well, I know there was an actual Lez on that show. Her name was George Fox. Georgia Fox. She went by George and we ran in the same circle. But I haven't run into her in years. But she was I think she was the reason I was invited to that party. Oh, Lez inviting the Lez. But not Juliana. Juliana. Is it Juliana or Juliana? Juliana Margolis. You know who was on that shows? More Mora Tierney, who is a real I like her. A awakening for a lot of people. She's straight, I think, but I loved her growing up. You still have dreams about her. Just hang it out. Like how peppermint patty was my big awakening. Really? Yes, that's common. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was more of like, wow, I relate to this one. Yes. You know why. Should we hear what a partner has to say? Yeah. The biggest faux pas I ever made at a holiday party was actually the very first holiday party I ever attended with my parents as their plus one. I think I was four or five. Not sure we can carbon date back that far. There weren't smartphones back then, so maybe I was 16. I do not know. Anyway, this was a holiday potluck. I had never even been to a potluck before, so I was just blown away by the food options. I think it was the first time I ever had lasagna, which to this day remains one of my favorite foods, Praised beaded garfield. But there was a separate room that had all the desserts. It was like cakes and pies. Every seasonal treat imaginable. Cookies, gingerbread, everything, candy canes. And as a kid with a major sweet tooth, I could not comprehend it. Like my little child brain just melted and I just knew I had to sample each and every one which I conveyed to my parents through screaming. I just had this huge meltdown where I insisted I had to try them all. My parents were mortified because these were people they did not know that well. And I remember I was rolling on the floor screaming and finally the hosts were just like, you know what, just give her what she wants. Give this little boy king what she wants. So they packed some of each dessert into a big box for me. They hustled us out of there. And I just remember waking up the next morning, because of course I had fallen asleep in the car on the ride home and I was just ready to sample my bounty. And somehow it had all congealed into one big unidentifiable ball. Oh, no. I just knew I had been tricked somehow or there had been sabotage among my avatars for sure. You know, court and I threw another big fit that next morning. So really, someone was big time on the naughty list that year. Oh my god. Yeah, that's my story. Thanks again. Seasons greetings. Happy holidays. Bye. Bye. Seasons greetings. Happy holidays. I cannot for the life of me picture a Parna throwing a fit. I know. And also she said she might have been the last fit. Yeah. And she said she might have been 16. So that's what I keep picturing and that's making me laugh. She said either four or 16. Yeah. That thing of being a kid and being filled with such like consuming desire for something that you're like, I will die if I don't get this. And you don't know your own limits either. Like I was obsessed with popcorn and like the first time my parents let me have popcorn, I just ate and ate and ate and then projectile threw up all over my bed. But I was you weren't going to stop me eating. Nothing's going to stop us now. I remember a Parna open for me years ago when I did Carnegie Hall. Whoa. And when after the show, there was like a whole spread, of course, backstage, because I have my demands. So I have this spread and we were going to take it to my hotel room. You know, we had friends in town and Stephanie's mother and father were there because, you know, let's do a Carnegie Hall. And I remember this is kind of a faux pas, I guess, but we were all carrying all of food from backstage to my hotel room. And so I remember a Parna and her boyfriend just carrying these huge trays of fruit and vegetables and all sorts of parties. Going, but we were walking blocks with it. We were walking blocks with half eaten green room food. So yeah, probably not the classiest thing to do, but we did it right. We did it. Yeah. Do you guys have any like holiday wishes for? Is that a good question for a holiday? Holiday wishes or even a favorite holiday song? Holiday wishes. That's my favorite holiday song. One, two, three. Holiday wishes. Beautiful. I'll my mom likes for me to go to church with her on Christmas Eve. Yeah, praise the Lord. Praise Jesus. Good Christ. So I get ready. I get my church voice ready for that. What's that sound like? Yeah, it's all the Christmas song like sing. No, I'll sing. No, I'll sing. No, I'll sing. No, I'll no. No, I'll sing. This is what I wanted. You also clearly have to get your Christmas face on too. Yeah, because boy, does it morph into a whole different world and go. All night, divine. All night when Christ was born. That's the one I'm going to dinner. All night, divine. All night. I would say you're going 11 or I hope they give you a big solo. I hope like a spotlight lands on you. But I will make sure my voice is heard in that type of thing. I hope you get discovered at church this year. Yeah, I want to put out a gospel album or a Christmas album whenever comes first. We can do it as a podcast, but on the list, Thomas. So we know our first hit is Holiday Wishes. So holiday. Oh, yeah. What is your holiday wish, May? Peace on earth and mercy and mercy mild. God and sinners reconciled. No, is that how is that the lyrics? Just a song. Did God and the sinners reconcile? I don't know, actually. They never needed to reconcile because God loves him no matter what. I don't know. I think my wish is the Hark the Herald angel sing. That's the yeah. OK, let's hit it. One, two, three. Park. Heaven. Nothing. Oh, fortune. Fortune. She's coughing and she's muting every time. Oh, you were right, May. Peace on earth and mercy. God and sinners reconciled. Oh, they did. See, but that's why. Wait, does it end with they did? No, it is. Joyful, lucky nations rise. La la la la la la la la. OK, wrong song, but doesn't matter. You have the spirit. My holiday wish is that everyone sings like that this holiday. Yeah, I hope people do some singing and I'm pumped for the year of the horse. We've been in the year of the snake, which is a girl. That was the gayest horse I've ever. Please take it again. What is the gay horsey? Hey. I don't get it. It really smells. You're a foul. You're going to make me coughing in. Can I tell you guys it smells like up dog in this room? What does that mean? It smells like up dog. What does that mean? It smells like up dog. What does that mean? It just smells like up dog. Say what is up dog? And then I say not much. Oh, my God. Oh, wait, let's see if I was like, I think maybe she'll eventually say what's up dog. There it is. Thanks, fortune. No, oh my God, I never I would have just continued to say what does that mean? And I was like, tigs not coming off of this one phrase. Oh, my God. Well, I learned that from one of the fortune's gaggle of girls on set yesterday. They said it smells like up dog. I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I went, what's up dog? And they said, not much. Will does that to me. I fall for it every time I'll be singing something. He goes, who sings that? And I'll earnestly tell him and he goes, why don't you let them sing? Let's keep it that way. I heard him. I heard him do that to you. Yeah. And I fall for it every time. Every time. Well, what a treat you guys are. My holiday wish is for everyone to keep it handsome. Mm hmm. That would be great, right? Because sometimes people don't keep things handsome. Mm hmm. And we have got to keep it handsome. I also want to say. I know the holidays are tough for some people and that's a weird time of year. And there's so much pressure to be happy and with family. And I just want to say no matter what you're doing, just like take care of yourself. I'll be I'll be by myself with buddies on Christmas. I'm going to enjoy it. And we just are sending you a lot of love. We sure are. Yeah. And I'm going to send you to some of my shows coming up. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not a bathrobe. Oh, you got me. Well, I have several days. I'm just going to hit a few here. February 20th, Oklahoma City. And then February 21st, we got Midland, Texas. What else do you have? Oh, well, I have Cincinnati March 13th. I have got. Hold it. Hold on there. I just I don't know. I can't read very well. But go to Tignotaro.com for all my tour information. I'm also always doing shows mostly every month at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. And please, if you haven't watched the documentary Come, See Me in a Good Light, check it out. I've got this big tour coming up and I'm adding extra dates and stuff. I just added one in Vegas. And also, I think I need people to buy more tickets in Austin. That one's a little slow, but I'm excited to see everybody. You can go to maymartin.net. If you need the last minute presence for people, go to get some tickets to our shows or some handsome pod merch. Why not? Yeah, I don't say why not. I don't want to be in Norfolk, Virginia on the 27th of December and then Salt Lake City, Vancouver and then New Year's Eve in Seattle, Washington, followed by after the New Year, New Orleans, Mobile, Atlanta, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, a bunch of places. So I'm a website. We also want to remind people that we did a live show yesterday. Oh, right. Can't forget that. That link is available for a week. So yeah, super fun. It's a really fun, hollybob show. Hollybob. And also, you can give that as a gift, get somebody a ticket to that. Right? Yeah. So you want to get that link. It's really fun. That was a fun time. And until next time. I don't know. Handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feamster, Tignitaro and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Woulet. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome pod. What a podcast. That was a hate gun podcast. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you make room for your family pets when settling in for a movie night ain't going to fly. If my cat's not on the couch with me, it's going to stare at me with a really sad face until we find her a spot. Yeah, check in first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hey, everyone. This is Natalie. And this is Charlie. We're from the podcast Exploration Live. It's really funny. It's really good. It's really, really very good. And now we have a YouTube channel to go with it. That's exactly right, Natalie. You can watch full video episodes of our podcast Exploration Live at youtube.com slash Exploration Live podcast. That means that in addition to the audio component, right, also getting a video component. Exactly. Where you're seeing our reactions. What kind of clothes we're wearing. You know, and there's a whole suite of dynamics and physical expressions that you can really only get from a full video. Body language experts to the front. Exactly. So come check out Exploration Live either audio or video.