Hard For Hot Dads | Your Mom's House Ep. 838

Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to your mom's house. Hope you had a great holiday week. You were with your families. If you're an American, if you're not American, this, you know, nothing matters anyway. No. Your life isn't significant. You know what really made me upset is that we're not black. Because black Thanksgiving, from what I understand, is where it is. Black Thanksgiving is NBA All-Star Weekend. Is that what you're talking about? No. Oh, are you talking about Thanksgiving? They're actual food items. Oh, yes. I've heard are so much superior because we don't have flavor in our food. Right. Which is why I don't enjoy Thanksgiving dinner. Bland, bland, bland, bland. I've never enjoyed Thanksgiving. Flavorless. I don't like it at all. Why did the settlers not enjoy seasoning? I don't like turkey. I don't like cranberry sauce. I don't like fucking pumpkin pie. I like the pie. Yeah, I don't like it. Don't fuck with it. I don't like it. But the turkey is dry and seasoned gravies disgusting. Luckily, we were at a place that also did like a prime rib. Yeah. And that was pretty good. But it's bloody and gross, too. Prime rib doesn't taste like shit either. I mean, it was pretty good. It was seasoned well. Why don't you say overall that American food is flavorless and bland cardboard, much like our English ancestors? I'd say theirs is more like, I mean, there's seasoned good flavored food here. But black people make it, not the whites. Yeah. Black people do season the shit out of their food. That's true. Their whole thing is like, here's 100,000 times the amount of seasoning you think you need. Because doesn't that lead to high sodium and then they get the diabetes, the sugar. They get the sugar, yeah. Yeah. See, there's always got to be a middle ground. There's a middle ground and it's with Latinos. Yes. You think, what do they do? Tamales. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Everybody has their own cuisines. But I mean, if you're talking about real crackers, then like, yeah, their food is bland, right? Yeah. And if you go to like... Whites, American whites, very... I don't know. But if you go to southern whites, they seem to see it because they're around so many black people. That's a good point. Yeah. Now, if you go to west coast whites, they're mostly influenced by Jews and Mexicans. It's flavor. For instance, where I grew up in LA, Flavortown, USA. Flavortown, yeah. We like to have seasons. Yeah. Seasonings and stuff. Yeah. But here in Texas, I don't know, they like it pretty crackery. You think so? They like barbecue, which is black adjacent. Yeah, it's black. But that's flavorful. That's flavor town. If you go to the barbecue places, you don't go like there's no seasoning here. No, I like it. Yeah, it's flavored. Flavortown. And there's usually like a big honky over the pit master. I know. It's a big fucking fat white guy. Whites like to barbecue. I love it. But I don't like a dry rub. I like a wet rub. Yeah. Well, you're in the right place. I mean, Texas has a lot of sauces. Uh-huh. My favorite is Dreamland barbecue. That's your favorite? That's my favorite. I like La Barbecue. La Barbecue. Here in Austin. That shit is excellent. And I also like Terry Black's. Of course. There's a bunch of good ones, to be honest. But I like that La Barbecue brisket a lot. It's really good. Can I tell you what's really been making a splash? Your quest ounce. Holy shit. People, I don't think you understand. I don't think you understand. This isn't like me going like, oh, I found a business to invest in. Like I made it a mission to bring my favorite pastry to the place that I live. And it meant like hiring people to move states and open a place. They're selling out every day. Every day. If you have not been to Chichobamba, it's in the Fairground food hall in downtown Austin, which is right on Congress. It's underneath the Wells Fargo building. And it's a bunch of like little food setups. Bro, this food is outrageous. This is fresh made, the real deal, authentic Italian pastries. And we have savory stuff too. But we're selling out daily. Like people are messaging me. I got here. Everything sold out, which is like, it is so exciting. I know. I'm so excited. And the posts that I've been seeing on Instagram are that people are like, guys, this is real Italian stuff. It's the real deal. It's not the horse shit that America feeds you. These bland favorite. This is real Italian stuff, guys. It is, man. This guy, he's fantastic. Giamba is like the, he's a real dude who brought like his recipes from the motherland with him. Like he's like a traditional story of like mother cooked a lot. And he just got, you know, into it at a young age and then just developed his own skills and passion for it. But that's Giamba. It's a family business. It's a legit family. These are just family people. Yeah. He's a fiery Italian dude. Yeah. That's so good. He's great. He's great. And yeah, he makes amazing food. The sweet stuff is, is again, you know, it's such a treat. And then he does a bunch of savory stuff. And he's doing homemade focaccia and pizza and yeah, dude, it's all amazing. Stop by, stop by and see us. We do have a more elaborate fixed location opening after the new year. It's probably going to be honestly like in March, but this pop-up location is going to stay until then at least. So come by and see us. It's really impressive. Also guys, I want to thank everybody that purchased Black Friday stuff for Christina P. My lipsticks, my velvet crush blush, my Radiance Bomb. It is all out now. This is the entire collection for the holidays. I highly recommend ordering now to get it in time for Christmas, for Chanukah, for whatever it is you're celebrating. This is my new favorite color, you guys. This is it. I'm wearing it right now. It's called Cuts You Up. It's liquid lipstick and it stays on forever. And then I have my two glosses, my Whimsie Kiss Gloss, two new shades. It's all there at ChristinaP.com. Get it for the girls in your life. Get it. So good. It's such high quality stuff, you guys. And I know you're thinking, I don't know. I don't trust this brand. This isn't Sephora. This isn't, yeah, because that stuff is cheap shit. Wow. It's true. Shots fired. It's true. I have my stuff imported all the way from Italy, much like our croissants. And the quality is unrivaled. I like that. What was that sound? That was just an explosion. That was a new one. Yeah, pretty cool. Christina's got new products in the store. We have a new store too, by the way, the YMH store. Yes, yes. Whole new things happening. A whole new thing. We hired new designers. They have all new products. The quality of the stuff is outrageous. So much improvements. Yeah, we have where are the bodies. Which is taking the internet by storm. This new high-end tight. It's so nice. The fabric is so great. There's some hats, there's some bumper stickers. There's all kinds of cool stuff. Yeah, it's really exciting. There's some new Tube Air stuff. Check it out. Store.ymh2d.com. All right. So much, Dana. Also, one last plug. My new special teacher comes out Christmas Eve on Netflix. So, get your families together, get grandma, get the kids, settle by the Christmas tree. And on December 24th or 25th, watch Teacher Only on Netflix. I'm so, I gotta say, Tim, I feel like I'm gonna cry because I'm so impressed with this hour. I'm so, I'm very emotional because I'm serious. And I feel like we're doing a press junket for Wicked right now. I feel like I'm, I'm so, I'm holding space for you. Are you holding space for me? Yes. No, I'm actually emotional because you talk about more personal stuff. Yeah, it was a really fucking, it was a great tour. I have to be like, express how grateful I am for the tour. Like, it was a great tour. My crew is fucking awesome. So, Keir and Matt and Dave, Gary, Sean, and I brought, I brought a number of people, but a lot of the tours with Kirk Fox and Jeff Tate, who are two good friends of mine for a long time. And it was, it was, and I brought Jordan a few times too. Yeah, but those guys were on the majority of the dates. It was just like a really, it was a fun experience. Like, I felt like a varsity comedian in that I figured out how to tour a little more thoughtfully than before. And I felt like that I kept it fun. And then I ended up doing stand-up that I was really happy with, you know. Yeah. And the, I mean, I don't know if I can cut this out if you want to, but there's stories about our kids. Yeah. Yeah. And it was really cool that they, you got to show that. I got to show them the other day. I was, I was in the edit and I brought my boys around. So cool. And I kind of thought about it. I was like, oh, are they going to get like, you know what I mean? Because I've had things that before, you know, if anybody who has kids, you realize that there's things that a kid can grasp and that things that they don't grasp yet, right? Like they're, they're maturing, they're evolving. So I was like, are they going to get it if I show them this chunk talking about them? Are they going to be like, hey, what's that all about? And I was just like, no, I think they'll get it. So I just sat them down and I was like, hey, you understand that like it's a performance, right? And like, I was like, kind of explaining like how comedy is always based on exaggerating something, right? It was an exaggeration factor. I'm like, are they going to intellectually grasp that? And they were like, yeah, yeah, I got it. And then I showed it to them and they were fucking howling. They loved it. And I think the most fun I've ever had showing stand up to anyone was seeing them because it was talking about them. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, it's me, man. Like, he was really excited. Yeah. Because there's some neat things you say about me. There's neat stuff everywhere. It's really cool, but I don't think I'd have the same reaction. You don't think so? You showed me my bits. Well, you've seen the bits. Backstage, yes. I wouldn't dare go in the audience for those. Too embarrassing. You've had that experience before too. Oh, have I? Yeah. So anyway, really special. And I think it's fantastic. I'm so happy that they're releasing it on Christmas. Yeah, that's really exciting. You have some nice to watch with your family. Yeah, it's a fun family watch. All right, we took forever to open. I know. Well, there's not so much to talk about. You want to see the opener? Yeah. Let's do it, Joe. Here we go. Here you go. You guys are all a bunch of fucking losers. I mentioned I like someone. I really like someone first time. And I lose three or four followers. You fucking idiots. You're talking to a man that's been celibate for 17 fucking years. I got five fucking kids that I already raised. Pay child support and everything. You know, I got two dead fucking wives. This is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. No loving to the first day. It's good opener. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom's own. And Christina Pajitzen. Christina Pajitzen. Welcome to your mom's house. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. What for that? So eighties. You know what that theme song needs? What's the need? A saxophone. Oh, yeah. Remember in the eighties. Oh, wow. Yeah. Fellas, you already know what time it is. It's time to level up and Bluetooth just dropped something crazy. I'm talking next level. Championship belt, gold plated energy. Bluetooth gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable E.D. brand. This ain't your grandpa's little blue pill. This is the four in one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance. 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In the 80s, you could add a saxophone to any movie and it instantly upped everything. Like in Police Academy, they go to a beach bonfire, some guys playing the saxophone. It's instantly a party. Lost Boys, there's a band playing saxophone player. Saxophone. Sax's what's up. St. Elmo's Fire, what does fucking Rob Lowe play? You have these all on fucking lock-in. Saxophone. Because I've... You're thinking about saxophones a lot. Wow. I mean, no one just pulls out that much sax knowledge unless it's on your mind a lot. You just fucking, you're like, this is what I've been thinking about. I do. I do a lot. I do. Do you think this video needs a saxophone? He needs a lot. I don't understand why he needs two shells around his neck. I feel like one would have been sufficient. It's been 18 fucking years that I mentioned one person and he's fucking losers. Leave. I like his knife hanging on the wall. Goodbye, you fucking freaks. Yeah. I'm not far behind. The social media bullshit is fucking bullshit. Yeah. Having a low fucking day, loser. Baby, he has a machete on his wall. Yeah. Well, there's a lot going on. There's a lot. Also, the thing is that he made this video, which is interesting, because I'm kind of deduced what's happening. He said he's interested in someone and then he clocked that he lost followers. Three or four. And then he got really upset about that. Yeah. I wish he could see how my page wrapper is. I wish he could see how my page wrapper is. He should have spent. I'd be like, yeah, I said something. I lost like 5,000 people. I'm the same. And I also was like, yeah, that's fine. That's okay. Yeah. Well, these guys are noobs because he's a boomer. He's not really used to it. And now he's like, I've shared my soul. I mean, he's really tracking the number. Well, he's nailed. Exactly, too. He's like, whatever, 328. And then today it's 353. But he was saying. 322, whatever. But he's saying that he's celibate, right? Like he was not having sex. Yeah, he said 17 years, which is a long time. Wow. People in the comments keep calling him Gary Busey, which is pretty funny. Yeah, totally. What's his, can you go to his page? There he is. Oh, that's why he knows. He's got 720. But that's, you know, 720 people. That's a lot of people. Google Daddy is his handle. That's interesting. What's he saying there? He looks pretty like well adjusted in this one with the seashells. Good morning. Should I say afternoon? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You got to get that time of day right. Smile. That's it. All right. You've given us a tour of his apartment complex. That's the parking deck. That's kind of cool. It's dirty. It needs repaving. That's it. He's not going to talk over it. We can get out of this. Sunday. I haven't figured out where I'm going to put that monster TV. Yeah. The remote control hasn't come in yet. I can't turn it on without the remote. True. So fortunately, it's only $10 for this remote. So unfortunately, I'm going to have to rearrange my whole apartment and put it. Well, so I mean. Well, hold on, Tom. How's he going to? I mean, it's compelling stuff that he's putting out. I'm surprised he's had people stick around this long. Hold on. I tell you, man, the best thing you ever put out was talking to these fucking losers about leaving, abandoning you, like feeling that emotion. I really connected with that video. I connected with that video, but what I'm connecting with now is that he's got two Frisbees that are still in the packaging. What is he saving the Frisbees for? I don't know. You guys are all a bunch of fucking losers. He loves Frisbees though. I love Frisbees, but what's the point of a Frisbee if you're not going to play? Yeah, you got maybe he gives them away or something. I mean, I think they're back ups because he's got one out of the package. Right. Oh, a fucking day. You know, we kind of glossed over this line. I got two dead fucking wives. Two. Two. That's such bad luck. I mean, you've been widowed and then it happens again. That's so bad luck. Jesus. But he seems like an upbeat guy. Most of the time what I'm seeing is a pretty upbeat guy. Goodbye, you fucking freaks. He was just really emotional that day. Really angry. You got to channel that anger somewhere. Wow, two dead. He's a humbled Hawaiian, so he's in Hawaii. He's lost two wives. What's this math, 1234? 1234. He's got it pinned, so that's a very important thing. Humility is not thinking less of yourself. Humility is thinking of yourself less. See, he's on the right path. That's a good one. He's figuring it out. Sunday, November 30th. That's a screenshot of his phone. Yeah, I think 1234 is the time. That's what time it was when he screenshot. One, two, three, four. Well, it's significant spiritually. He's saying this is significant. Still learning. Ugh, LOL. JK, I messed up and archived, deleted this original post. Ugh, spent past one hour sifting through posts to find much to know of. There's still a God. That's a fucking wild caption. There's so much in there. Ugh, LOL, JK. What? All right. But also the choice to write in all caps is so bold. Yeah. It's like you're screaming. It feels like someone's yelling at you. Yeah, it does. That's the intent, is like, guys, I am LOL, JK. I messed up and archived, deleted this original. It's a lot. That's the intonation, right? Yeah. Embrace lowercase letters, man. It's a lot. But he's, look, I'm going to say, I'm a fan. Keep doing your thing, Google Daddy. And let us know how the remote control works out in the new place. And I hope he does, that this person he's interested in reciprocates. I think that would be nice. Speaking of, over Thanksgiving, we were staying at a hotel that had a pool. We were in Southern California, and we had some things to do there. So we're there with the kids, and we would go to the pool. The kids loved the children's pool. The children's pool. The family, the most depressing pool. Yes. There's an adult pool that you look at and you kind of lust after, and then it just kind of fades away. And you just stare, and you go, that'd be nice. That would be nice. You're around the kid pool, which is fine. Everyone's there hanging out. One day, as we're hanging out, I notice this fucking specimen of a man. A lot of times when we go on vacations, we know the Fit Dads. So when you're a dad, you just, you notice that there's some Fit Dads out there. And Fit Moms. And Fit Moms, yes. Well, here's the thing. This is the thing I've put together. I'm not interested in the Fit Moms. I'm only interested in Fit Dads. I want to look at, my eyes drift towards other men when I'm at the beach or I'm at the pool. If I see a beautiful woman, you go, yeah, it's a beautiful woman. If I see a hot guy, I go, I want to know this person. I want to get to know them. I want to be with them. I want to spend time with them. So I see this guy and I'm like, holy shit. Like this guy's physique was unbelievable. He looked like, to be fair, he didn't look like a Fit guy. He wasn't like a guy that works out. He looked exemplary. He looked like an Olympian. He was, there's only a few things with his body size that I would even believe that he had participated in. I mean, he was either, I was like, this guy was either an off-season bodybuilder where you're like, oh yeah, I would believe that there's bodybuilding. I don't know. I mean, he had this type of, it wasn't dialed up all the way. That's why I said off-season. It wasn't like I'm about to compete. But he looked to me like a fucking Olympic gymnast. You know what I mean? I think gymnast too, because he also had those hip cuts. Yeah. That's like Brad Pitt level fight club fit. Am I right? Like that's not just I work out. That's, I work out and I fuck and I write. I don't know where you're going with this. I don't know either, but the point being that of all the Fit dads. Yeah, he was kind of like that. No, he was not even anything like this at all. That looks nothing like him. But in the, in the kiddie pool dad world, he's that of. Well, he was the elite, but like he looked 10 times better than this. Wow. You don't understand because you don't know what you're looking at that this is just a really lean guy. There's no mass to this guy. The guy you're looking at now, this Brad Pitt shot, he's not, he's 150 pounds here. The guy that we saw had like was lean and had like, like muscle to him. Like the dude was built and it didn't look like, he didn't look like a gym rat. He looked like, I said, like an Olympian. So this is my question to you then. And he looked, and his hair was incredible. Don't even talk about his hair. His hair looked amazing. He had a full head and it was like light chestnut brown, nice sparkling eyes, great disposition. Yeah, he was, he was having a good time. Great personality, not a booze bag. I didn't see him over indulging. Nope. He was there with his three kids and his wife. She was in great shape. So I noticed the wife separately because I also look at other women's bodies too to compare myself to them. And she looked great for three kids. Holy shit. Yeah, they were both very fit. I have so, I want to know him so bad. So I was like, you know, I was eyeballing him. I was trying to get some, I ordered a couple of drinks to build up confidence. I wanted to go meet him and just get to know him, get to know his life, see if there's a chance with us. So I was like eyeballing him. And then one time he was in the hot tub and the bathroom is near the hot tub. And I got up and I was like, all right, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And as I walked up, he looked up and he winked and smiled at me. And I felt my heart flutter. I was like, holy shit. You've got a chance. Yeah, he saw me. He likes me. Well, Andy knows you're famous and he already likes you. Maybe I don't know. So you've already got the leg. Of course, you know. But then here's the thing. I could never, like, I wasn't going to come up to him when he was like with his family. You know, I was looking for an opening. Yeah, it's weird. And so this is just kind of like a misconnection kind of moment I'd like to put out there. That like, I know you saw me and I saw you. And I feel like there's so many questions that like we both want to answer. Listen up. It's that time of year when you have to find the perfect gift for everyone and your mom. You need something that says, I actually thought about you, even if it wasn't until the last second. That's where Aura Frames comes in. Oh my God, it's the best gift because it looks like you're the most thoughtful, caring person on the planet. You preload it with pictures before it ships. So your job is done before they even open it. And it's good for everybody. 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That's M-O-M at DraftKings Sportsbook. Bet $5 and get $200 in bonus bets if your bet wins. Minimum minus 500 odds required. Remember, the crown is yours. So if, I mean, if you saw me, you know who you are. I'd like to know who you are. You know, I have so many questions. Yeah, I want to know what he does. I want to know what he does because here's the deal, man. If he is like a business man, then that means he's got to wake up at like 4 a.m. He's hitting the gym every day. He is, dude. He is. And he's on like a schedule. He's very disciplined. Very disciplined. Which is admirable trait because so are you. You're down to what, 4% body fat now? No, that's the goal. Oh. That's the goal. Speaking of, we're going to talk to you about body fat in a second, Mr. Enny. But yeah, the goal is to be like, yeah, I mean, I want to be like, people where people go, is he about to die? Yeah. Like that kind of level, you know? Where are you now? I mean, I haven't had a scan in a while, but I'm in the upper teens for sure. Oh, wow. Yeah. I got a long way to go. You must feel a lot of embarrassment. Yeah, of course. Well, that's what I remember when I was like, hey, should I even walk near him? Like, I don't know if he'll be like upset. You know, and that really upset me, Tom, because you bring a lot to the table as well. Don't think that he's better than you. You can't put that dead on a pedestal. You're just as good as him. I thought I was going to walk by and he was just going to go disgusting and then like turn his head. You know? Disgusting. But he smiled. He smiled and he winked. He did. Yeah. But I think, do you think he was winking because like, he was like, hey, I know you? Or do you think he was winking like, hey, what's up? Hello? I think it was both. Both. I think it could have been, hey, what's up? Because also where he winked at you, if you recall, is right by the bar and then there's the jacuzzi and then that one bathroom. And we saw a lot of inappropriate making out sessions in that area of the kiddie pool, of the children's area. So maybe he was like suggesting, hey, this is the corner. Oh, where things happen. Where stuff happens. Why don't you get a drink and meet me in the bathroom? That's right. And Annie asked the question earlier, which was really smart of like, is he joyful? Was he? Yeah, was he having a good time? Because what does that mean, Annie, if a man is joyful? Well, I asked if he was having too much fun, you know? Because like, you know, we like to have fun, but if you're having too much fun, you're just smiley, you're laughing all the time. Well, what you smiling so much for, man? I was questioning it and then you said that he winked at you. I'm like, that says it. Yeah. He's gay. Fuck, he's for sure. Fuck, dude. Either he's an Olympian or a bodybuilder like you're saying, or he likes dick. It's the only, there's no other way. But he has three kids, dude. Do gay guys have, hold on, allegedly three kids? Three kids, yeah. I know. I don't think he's gay. I mean, I don't think he's gay. You just think he likes what he saw. You guys have a mutual admiration of one another's physique and discipline. We both, no, I don't think he has an admiration for mine, but I think we both would, I think we'd like to get this conversation. Like, I'd like to meet this person. I want to know his story. You understand? I want to know his story. I know. I want to know his background. I want to know what he does. I know what you're talking about. I get obsessed with strangers too. Yeah. We're like, what is the deal? What is the story? Dude, he's so handsome. I know. And his, like I said, his physique was unbelievable and he's got a nice family. It's like, I want to know more. And also, like the wife didn't resent him or hate him, which you see a lot at the kids pool because the woman's usually doing everything and the husband's not doing shit. No, they were like, good rapport. He was engaged in the family and he was laughing, having fun, but not too much fun. So I saw him near, near like, I noticed him first. Okay, keep it. I also ran into him at like the kids area, like where the kids play and he was just like smiling, having a good time. Just too much fun though. You think that's too much if he's having a good time? I mean, I don't know. I'd have to be there. Yeah. There's a certain ratio of, you know, smiling. And this move a lot too. Smiling. Because he had, like he had great hair. He was doing this. So much hair. You know, like, like dreamy hair. Like shampoo commercial hair. I don't know. It could be, it could just also be as full as it could be like the situation. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It could be, it could be that sort of thing. I'd have to see him. I don't know. God, he was a dreamboat. Should we give his identifying feature? Like this is the only way we're going to. It's the only way you're really going to get to know. It's the only way we're going to get to find this person. But if this is real now, you're going to make this happen. If you give away this identifying characteristic, this will manifest. I don't know my heart's racing. I don't know if I can do this. Just do it. All right. So he, we already described him dark hair. How tall? He wasn't that tall. He's perfect. What do you mean? Not that tall. He wasn't very tall. What's not very tall in man world? I mean, he's under six feet tall. Okay. I don't remember. I didn't ever stand next to him, but I saw him. But he didn't feel short. He felt perfect. He wasn't like five, four, but he was probably like, I'm guessing like around five, nine or something. That's my guess. Perfect height. Yeah. Like I said, fucking super jacked, but like in an athletic way, it didn't look like like a juice head type of Jack. No. He looked like athletic Jack. He built that over, over the years. Like he swam in college. Yeah. I think he was, I think he was a swimmer. So here's the thing. It was an upper back, circular. You're really going for it. Tattoo in the upper back. That was his only tattoo. In between his shoulder blades. Circular. I would say like a, maybe a snake coiled or like a dragon, like a chakra thing. Could be like a ying-yang. I didn't see it up close. Sir, we've identified you. We know who you are. We have questions. Want to know who you are, what you do, what your background, what division, what sport did you play? Are you currently involved in athletics? And also I think Tom, if I may be so bold, are you open to making a new friend? Yeah. You want to be friends? I think you want to make a new friend. Clearly we vacation well together. Okay. Yeah. Well, there you go. I put it out there. There's some. I'd like to meet my new friend. There's a lady at my gym. Yeah. Who I admire too. Yeah. But you're like, oh, they're so, like she's such a dream and she's so aloof. And I just want her approval. Like I just, I just want her to be like, hey Christina, how you doing? And like she's just, she's so above. She just won't. I think, I wonder if I'm, if I know this person, because I've been there too. Is she elite? Yeah. Like super elite? I mean, in my world, like in a 50 year old lady care category. No, no, I just mean objectively elite. I don't think so. I don't think so. But I think she looks amazing and like her personality, like she's just so cool and like whatever, like kind of East Coastie and just like funny and unbothered. And then like, I just want that. I just want some of that. Like I want her to shine her light on me. I get it. And like, be like, I don't care about any of these people, but you Christina, like, I want to give my friendship, my heart to you. Because you're worth it. And then I'll be like, thanks dude. Like fuck yeah dude. Bro, thank you. Thank you bro. Thanks dog. And by the way, why are people making out at the kids pool? That was fucking so inappropriate. Dude, there's two other pools you could have fucked in. Like you had to put, you had to make out in the children's pool. I saw this one couple do it at the bar. And this wasn't like a fucking Margaritaville place. You know, they were fully fucking groping each other. Fully into it. Get your shit together. There's kids everywhere. They were hammered, it had to be. That's why you do that. But there's two, like I said, great pools to go make out at. I know. They should tell them, be like, hey, excuse me, can you go like, ejaculate in the other pool? Should you go do that somewhere else? In the ejaculation jacuzzi? Yeah. And there's always a guy we noticed at the end of the night, or the end of the pool cycle day. There's always an alone guy in the jacuzzi. When the whole pool is gone, everyone's gone. There's one guy. The moon's out. And there's this one guy, you're like, holy shit, is there a guy in there? One guy, Harry alone in the jacuzzi. Yeah, it's either that or it's before the sun goes down. There'll be a guy in there who's talking to someone about business. Yeah. He's like, well, I just try to, I saw this company and I said, I could do something with that. And you're like, okay, this guy's giving like, he's posting about his business attitude. Yeah. Yeah. It's always so I can, I saw it every day. I'll tell you what I'm a big fan of right now is I like these guys who are doing, stay safe out there video. This is like my favorite lane that I fell into and I cannot get enough of it. Hey everybody, it's fall. It's going to be getting darker earlier. And I think everybody should have access to a good flashlight at all times. Okay. Don't rely on your phone. At all times. If you have to get your phone flashlight on, you're going to look down, hit the code and then turn the flashlight on. Yeah. It's not a great flashlight. That's not great. I told my crew I want Sean to start doing these videos. Because he's always buying like safety shit. It hurts my stomach. He's expecting a woman to carry around like a policeman's light. And then this hand can do other things. I keep this in my purse. Always. You cannot rely on a phone. If you have a phone, you have to look down. You have to turn the phone on. And that's an insane fucking waste of time. So make sure you get a police level flashlight. Keep it on your waist man. Power can go out at any fucking second. The worst part is, this inner voice is why I go to therapy. This is why I'm on Prozac. Because of fucking thoughts like this. What happens if there's no light? This guy is great. This is feeding into everything that's wrong. I mentioned before, this is my neighborhood. So I pretty much have a good baseline. What everything looks like. But always remember, any scenario you are in could shift. People are the most unpredictable variable in any scenario. It's on here. I see local people doing what they're normally doing. Any second. A clown car could roll up. With a bunch of clowns looking to get out to do clown stuff. I gotta be ready for that. You gotta be ready for anything anytime. 100% bro. Something else everybody should know. When you put the pump in your gas station, you could drive away. It's not going to explode. They're designed to automatically shut off. Because your safety always comes first. So if I'm pumping gas, and I see the environment shift, and somebody might be coming towards me, I gotta get out of here. I'm not going to wait to see. Always have a plan. Where does he live? He's safe everybody. 100% I know this neighborhood, but at any second a clown could fucking enter. What neighborhood is he in? He needs to move. He feels this threatened in his own neighborhood. Sometimes you'll be putting gas in your car, and you'll feel a threat. Just take off and rip the fucking pump down. It doesn't matter. You just gotta be on top of safety at all times. Pay the pump. Can you imagine how much it would cost to replace the pump in a gas station? It's $50,000. I got scared. What do you want me to tell you? What are you saying about Sean? Sean, who I love dearly and travels with me everywhere, he's got a little bit of stay prepared. This guy's business or whatever it's called, he's tired not paranoid. So that's what I tell him. Sean believes in that. He's always like, what if this happens? What if that happens? He's got trauma shears on his waist. He's got a crazy flashlight. Hold on. Let's go through what he's got. Number one is trauma shears. These are the shears that a paramedic or somebody in the fire department would have with them, so that if they needed to cut you out of a seat belt or your ring was wedged onto something and you're about to lose your finger. So he's got a pretty high level type of trauma shear on him. And he gets this through security if you guys are flying commercially. Oh, fuck yeah. Well, he explains what the fuck, man, what if this whole thing, what if you need somebody to get cut out of strap and they're like, okay, buddy. So the trauma shears are on his waist belt. Flashlight too. He's got the one that that guy advised. Yeah, he's got one of these. And it does different patterns, like flash robes. SOS. He does Morse code with it. He's got a Leatherman. He's got knives. He always has different types of knives on him. So I'm trying to get him to just keep upgrading. Keep escalating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be 100% prepared for any situation ever. Well, he showed me the ring that you guys bought together. Oh, yeah, he's got all kinds of, he's got knuckle dusters. He goes, you see this, Christine? And I go, what is this? He goes, it's called a knuckle duster. And I go, what is this? He goes, you know, back when the guys, the gangs that couldn't carry weapons. It's when they banned brass knuckles. That's when they banned those. And I could buy this ring and I could punch somebody and do some damage. I looked at him like this and he goes, what? I thought you'd like it. It's all punk rock. And I'm like, it is. It is punk rock. It's very much like it. But you think you need the knuckle dusters on the Southwest Airlines flight right now? Dude, you need shit at all times. You know what his favorite expression is? You stay ready. You don't have to get ready. That's no shit though. And that's what this guy is doing. He's right. Always ready. As I go from the parking lot into the store, I'm transitioning into a new space. Holy shit. I'm talking about, I've already cleared that it's safe. As I go into a new space, I have to do the same thing. I'm going to go in there, take a few seconds to observe the environment. See if there's change in size. See if there's something I need to pay attention to. You're going to go into. So, all right. So you. What's in there, man? You crap us. So as I go into the store, I take a second. I look, I know this is a fire alarm over there. I look and see if there's anything out of place, anything I should pay attention to. People over here having pies. Everything seems normal. Okay. Take a few more seconds. I go about my day into the store. Yeah. And go shopping. You know, you just described absolutely nothing. Literally, he was like, I went into the store. I looked and it looked like people were in the store. And then I felt safe. Like that's everybody already does that. You have to give us something more to do in the store. Right. Exactly, Tom. Like I was hoping for. Where are the exits? That's right. Right. I'm in the bathroom. Maybe I'll have diarrhea. Is there a security officer in the security? Yeah. Yeah. Is there a coin star? And I would like to get some more racial profiling in here. Oh, he said it before. You didn't hear it? No. He used the word clowns. Oh, yeah. Oh, you know what he meant. You know what he meant. He didn't mean. He meant. He's like, yeah, you know, clowns. You know, clown around black. I mean, clown and being clowns with their music, their clown music. Talking all that clown talk where you're like, what the fuck did you just say? Yeah. Well, I got to say, I'm a huge fan of this page. I hope everybody continues to be prepared and not paranoid. Hyperfidulance. And I'm really hoping that Sean builds a page like this soon. I've been literally working in therapy for 20 years trying to stop this exact shit in my head. Where the exits scan the room left to right. A couple of clowns over here. That's not good. Clowns. Clowns. That is amazing. Well, and also he's not going to a grocery store in a bad neighborhood. This appears to me to just be like a normal suburban. This is just like a. Like a Randall's. Yeah. Totally normal grocery store. Publics or something. Yeah. He's like, all right, I can shop now. I walked in, I assessed the. What? There is. Hilarie bets. Oh, he's in Sedona, which is like the crackeriest, safest. There's 10 people living there in place of Duncan follows him. Oh, he does. There you go. Founder prepared not paranoid. Important. Well, what's important? Let's click on important. Okay. Important. I like my book. Okay. That's good. Now he, by the way, he told us where he lives. Situational awareness. Situational awareness. This terminology used called keep your head on a swivel. What does that even mean? What are we looking for? If we explore situational awareness, we'll come up on Koopa's color code, the Oda loop. This is what I'm talking about. What I've done is I've taken all that information. Put it in the one book for us. Put it together in my new book. Oh, shit. Situational awareness, safe family travel strategies. Jesus. I put it together in a format that's easy to understand. And also shows you to teach members of your family. Gotta get this book. So you might look at this and say, I got it. I'm always aware. Yes, you might be. God. But as your child more aware, how do we implement these strategies to keep our entire family and our community safer? So I put this book together. I mean, he's literally in one of the safest places you could be. It's all retirees. Yeah. And it's like, hey, do you want to see like the fucking stars tonight, right? Sound baths and shit. Yeah, it's like this guy's walking into those crystal shops. I'm like, who's this guy? What's this clown doing? Yeah, it's literally white girls with dreadlocks and like patchouli. There's nothing happening in Sedona. I mean, that's why he's doing this. He's like, he wants something to happen. Still juiced up. Yeah. He definitely moved there from somewhere. Somewhere awful. Oh, East Coast. You can hear it in his voice. He moved from the Northeast. My wife and I relocated to Sedona. You're talking and you look in the room, you see a couple of clowns. You say, hey, fuck, oh, yeah. You could drive away from a gas pump. What is the bio site? What does it have on the site? I want to know like what is there? He's a cop. Got it. Situational awareness. Do you think he's ex-cop? Could be. Or military. Self-defense. Hell yeah. Less than lethal. Fuck yeah. Flashlight. Yeah, I got it. Big on the, the anatomy of a flashlight. That's insane. Yeah. That's a, that's a special right there. Pocket clip, lanyard loop. Tail cap. Yep. I like knowing the exact wording on that. Tail switch. You hit the tail cap on that? It's like, what are you talking about? The tail cap. The skill, the hotspot, the way that the light is dispersed. Lux. Got it. Watts. Pepper spray. We definitely need some of that. You need that. He's got to be fully fucking, like, I bet if you lifted up his t-shirt, you'd see like 40 things hanging from that. Have you ever actually sprayed pepper spray in the room? No. It is so volatile. No. If you, if you spray pepper spray, guess who else it fucks up? The person's spray. You. Because it's so volatile. Indoors, it's insane. You can't, like it's, you're just going to guess the whole situation. This is my favorite channel of the year, by the way. No, this is stun gun. Well, what are my options? Hold on. You're passing by stun gun options. Saber self-defense kit with pepper spray and stun gun. Oh my God. That's what I'm getting, Sean, for Christmas. Oh my God. Will you please flag some good ones for me? I want to get them something state of the art. We need a stun gun. You got to walk around with one. Oh my God. Is this legal in Texas to stun someone? I'm going to sell it on Amazon. I don't know. I'm like, yeah. Oh my God. It's such a bad idea. It's great. Is there another one that's like, holy shit, love, over here? Look, what are that, what are that? You know what I just had a vision of? What is the, hold on. Me taking my stun gun out and then. Oh. Just stunning me down. Just being like, hold on a second. I got to, it's not on yet. Yeah. Oh yeah, tear gas route. I'm a tear gas gun. Please get it. Can we make a video of him trying out all your new toys? Hell yeah. I want him to be fully fucking strapped. With like a pellet gun and a stun gun. Yup. And knives. You need it all. Everyone's like, what the fuck? He's just ready dude, he's prepared. You should put him through the course that cops got to take where they get like desensitized to tear gas. He would fucking love to go to that. I wouldn't even be surprised if you already did it. You might be right. Did you go to tear gas? Oh, it doesn't do anything to me. Kinetic balls, solid non-lethal projectiles. I could get him something like that. Kinetic balls, tear gas. I didn't even know you could buy tear gas. Oh my God, I would love to have him fully strapped. You have to buy him a belt too, no? Yeah. You have to put all this shit too? Well, I mean he's got a belt, but maybe like a specialty belt. Or something across his chest. Like command-out. Holy shit. He would embrace all this stuff. Yeah, fucking awesome. I do feel like you could have used all this in Albuquerque when you were filming there this past summer. Yeah, ABQ has some clowns. You definitely need that. Oh, there it is. Definitely getting him that. Please flag that for me. It's called a tactical belt. Yeah. That's what you need. Dude, that's fucking badass. Is that a body cam? Oh, shit. What's that in the front there? That looks like it's got a screen or something, right? Dude, that is... I think it's Velcro. Dude, that is 100% Sean's belt. I'm so stoked for this. Duty belts, law enforcement, combat, airsoft, police belt with pouches. Seven pieces. You know what he'll probably like is the tactical vest. Yeah, he would love the vest. Especially if he can like, weight it. Give me the belt and the vest, please. Maybe night vision goggles. Does he have night vision? He's not safe at night. That's so true. Oh, tactical vest. Dude, he would love that. That's fucking rad. Yeah. Sings are heavy. Dude, yeah, we got to suit him up. He's got to get ready. PS, the funny thing is going to be when you ask him and he's going to be like, yeah, I got like three of those. Yeah, I already have that. Why'd you get me shit I already have? Panoramic night vision, goggle. Holy shit. Oh my God, it's $50,000. 50 grand. Fuck. What? Well worth it, though. Well worth it. Great investment. I bet Larry would approve. He'd be like, 100% you need that. You go outside, stand in the neighborhood. In Sedona. Anybody out here? How the fuck, man? Yeah. How is it like? I don't know, dude. What is 50 grand? This is what like why military contracts are worth like $40 billion. It's overpriced. They're like, yeah, 50 grand to pop. That's insane. There's nothing that's worth $50,000. Those are binoculars for your head. Please explain. Only one left. Helmet mount. Can we go back to like the search for those to see if there's like, like what are the other ones? Like they have to have more reasonable prices, man. What's neat is that you look cool too. Those are $900. Yeah, that's, it's still a shitload of, oh, single ops, 300 bones. Just for one, but he needs both. No, I definitely would get them the two. Fuck yeah. Eyes on. What are you doing? I'm fucking scoping the neighborhood right now. I'm moving left to right. Yeah, dude. It looks like a fucking owl. Well, I'm excited. Please, let's flag some of these for me. I need to, I need to get him. Christmas. Yeah. Man. So the, what's it called, the junior Fett smoker guy? I think he's still doing stuff, right? Yeah, still doing stuff, right? Oh, thank God. What's up? What are you filming us? I'm filming him. Why? We're stopping my boyfriend. Are you filming me or do you? Are you famous? Are you famous? He's not famous. No. You are famous. You are famous. Have a good day, famous guy. He's got, he's just has the heart and soul of her. It's so clear. Yep. It's really cool. It really makes you realize we're all connected. And I do love that there's two people just having a good time by themselves. I know. She's like, stop filming my boyfriend. Yeah. And he's being disreputed. That was really cool. We're over here at the Sigma Chi plants neighborhood. Yep. Over here. Back to Sigma Chi. Forest Park, I think mountains and Portland, Oregon. Oregon. I thought I'd bring awareness to the community about this person who does dirty work for Sigma Chi fraternities. Dirty work. Oh dear. He's talking at the... What the fuck, dude? Yeah. You know what's really crazy is like, herc also had this fearlessness about him. Yeah. Yeah. Fearless. Fearless. He didn't fall pro, nobody, you're done. Yeah. These are men that he's taunting. Oh, I know. Strong men. That guy, by the way, the guy that he said, you famous? That looked like a pretty solid dude. He's not. That was not a little guy. No. You know? He is barking up some scary trees. Yeah. That is fucking crazy. That dude, I bet, could have really wrecked this guy. Oh, the cop. What is your name and sale number? What is your name and serial number? What is your name and sale number? Service. Sheriff. Sheriff. Oh no, Sheriff, Chronister, Weiser, he's not even himself to be a Sheriff. Yeah, so why can't you cite and release people instead of having to take them to Orient Road? That's funny, he's in Florida now. He was just in Oregon. Oh shit. That's Hillsborough County. Yeah, that's like a... Tampa area, I think. That's, you know what? That makes sense though. That's the beacon for mental illness. Just the state of Florida? Tampa, for all of Florida. But Tampa, Orlando, Miami. Yeah. Yeah. So why can't you cite and release people from islaminers instead of having to take them to Orient Road Jail? Do you need help from the Orient Road Jail? Yeah, when you arrest somebody for a misdemeanor, you should just cite and release them. You can take them waste gas and this gas guzzling unit to take them to the Orient Road Jail. It's not like LA where if you do a misdemeanor, they cite and release you or take you to the station and process you. So what's really I'm fascinated by now is the fact that he's this transient. Yeah. You know, sometimes they're just fixed location guys. He is literally, like we've seen multiple stuff from him up in Washington, then he was in Oregon. I don't remember where else we've seen him, but he's definitely... LA. He's been in LA. That's right. He references LA. But this is definitely, I mean, he's in the Tampa area. Well, what time of year is this filmed? Is it coinciding with holidays? Is he visiting his family in Florida? Is he in school during the other times? We're all just fucking... It's crazy. What always baffles me is these people have money to travel. Yeah. Like how the fuck do you have money to travel? How about this right here? I know. Like how do they do it? How about this? This is the right here that reminds you of Herc. What are you going to do? Fucking security guard, bitch. Take a picture. Old ass motherfucker, you're a fucking security guard. Who the fuck are you? Are you a certified peace officer in the state of California, bitch? Are you just going to do shit like that? You have no authority. You have no authority. So you're just going to be ignorant like that? J. Watkin is not illegal in California. Says who? Fuck no ass bitch. Says who? J. Watkin is illegal in California. The California state legislator. The California state legislator. You fucking old bitch. You're a spectra old. Oh, wow. He said LA, is that LAX? Yeah, that's LAX. Yeah. Is that the airport? Yeah, the airport. And then he's harassing a security guard. We've seen that before. No, I know. What's your name? Public servant? What's your name? Public servant? We're not going to talk to you. Supervisor. Go ahead. Supervisor. Are you done? Supervisor, why are you the credit? Are you done? Give me orders. You're a security guard. You have no fucking authority. Are you done? Yeah. Are you done? Touch my phone. Touch my phone. Are you done? Like, are you free or not? You have no authority. Are you leaving or not? Free to the press. Touch my camera through the fence, you faggot. The similarities are striking. Yeah. We got to do DNA tests on this kid. I mean, it costs your job, imagine. This is unbelievable. Take an easy fuckhead. This is the same person. It's the same behavior. It's the exact same behavior. What are the chances? There's a guy who's just doing his job as a security guard. And then he's like, the fuck are you? What the fuck are you doing here? Fuckhead. You're fired, buddy. At the arrow. You're fired, bud. And also why is nobody arresting him at this point? Like if you mess with TSA or whatever, like can't they arrest you at some point? I think California is probably the most like least likely to spend the resources in arresting someone like that. Right now, yeah. Now, them Hillsborough County sheriffs have time. I'll tell you that. In Florida, they have time. Of course. They always are like, huh, what? Yeah, we'll just fucking lock them up. I mean, the more like the bluer places are gonna be like, well, you know, he needs help. Yeah. Maybe they take him to a hospital, but down south, they don't really operate like that. That's true, because we didn't see her coming through Texas a whole lot. He didn't see her doing this shit in the red states. Yeah, interesting. Yeah, white chariots, man, you know. White chariots. Before I forget, I wanted to give a big shout out to the MGM, the hookup, the way they treated us. I had a show in Vegas a couple weeks ago, and it was at the Park MGM. It was really fun. Thank you for all that. But also they set us up at F1, which was really, really fun. And I have to give a huge, huge thanks to the great legendary chef Jose Andres for absolutely spoiling the shit out of me and my crew. I think there is no greater joy than getting to spend time with chefs. The chefs that I've been fortunate enough to meet all over the world are always like the greatest. They're just the best, man. They're amazing talents, they're amazing people. This guy is not just an amazing chef. He's an amazing humanitarian and human being. If you don't know his work with World Central Kitchen, it's an incredible organization that just feeds people all over the world, regardless of their political situations or affiliations, they just go to wherever there's disasters. That could be hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, war zones, floods. Wherever there's a disaster and people need to get fed, World Central Kitchen goes and they set up and they feed people. And it's led by this man, Jose Andres, who's a world famous, very accomplished chef. He is one of the elite chefs, right? The guy who just has these incredibly innovative ideas and if you've ever been to the bazaar or bazaar meats, and he's got, what is this place, something poblano in Vegas, and he's got Jaleo, and he's got a dozen or more restaurants, and they're all over the world. So, yeah, we could see what they are here. This is the, I guess, US locations. I mean, look, there's, yeah, China, poblano, bar central, bazaar, mar, bazaar meat, eh, Jaleo. Something tells me this guy's Latin. He's from Spain, so he's a Spanish man. Anyway, he treated us like we were visiting heads of state and gave us an absolute, I mean, like a feast that I can't describe. And I'm there with John Feliciano. There's Kirk. There's Kirk, and we're just hanging out, and he was just absolutely spoiling the shit out of us. And it was just, it was such an amazing experience. I just had to acknowledge that this dude is just, he's exactly what you want out of a chef. Like, he's passionate, he's excited, and he's super talented, so it's all these things that you're like, you know, like, what is this? And he's just rattling off how he had an idea and came up with this, and then every bite, you're like this, unfucking believable. That's cool. So it was very cool. Yeah, it's an incredible organization. I think that's really nice that he does that. World Central Kitchen, if you want to see what they do, you know, you can Google it, but they really do amazing work. I mean, we've donated over the last few years a number of times because they do such great work. Yeah, okay. Well, I wanted to address our cat obesity problem in the Segura homestead. And frankly, I'm a little fucking disappointed in the millennials, in the Gen Zs, the Gen Alphas we have working here. So we have automatic cat feeders, okay? We have an adult cat, a kitten. The adult cat is eating the kitten's portions and the adult cat is fat. That's the problem. The cat's weight is over weight by two pounds, okay? Yeah. So here I am on the show and we're talking about it. Oh, the cat feeders, you have to pull them apart. We have to feed them separately, blah, blah, blah. We're all talking about these scenarios. Meanwhile, Conor Swindles, friend of the show, he star of the movie Jingle Bell Heist on Netflix right now. He listens to the show and he thanks me for the shout out and he goes, oh, I might. You know, you can also do. Oh, it's hot, Mike. You can buy feeders that are calibrated to a specific cat, meaning one of them wears one collar, it activates this feeder, the other collar activates the other one and they can't cross the streams. You see what I'm saying? Does he have, he has the cat? He's got multiple cats and so he goes, mate, it's real fucking simple. You just get the, and I- Have you then, have you ordered this already? Of course, a hundred dollars fucking later. Yeah. And now we don't have a cat obesity problem and why the fuck didn't these millennials, these are cat owners here. They are. And it took somebody across the pond listening to the show to tell me. Wait, how does it stop them from eating the other one's food? So they wear collars that have like sensors, okay? So if the correct cat goes up to the correct feeder sensor, it dispenses food. The minute it says, does the wrong cat, it stops working. It doesn't usually dispense multiples at like a feeding amount at a time. I don't know. The point of the story is it shuts it down. It covers it or something. No, the point of the story is they failed you. I haven't done it yet. They failed me. I didn't want to set up for our trip because what if it malfunctioned and there's no one in there to feed the cat. The point of the fucking story is Josh, you have fucking cats, multiples, am I right? Yeah. And you didn't know this, chef? You should have known this. I didn't know it. I gotta try it. I mean, let us know if it works. I don't think that was here, right? Of course it works. Connor does it. That's how he keeps his animals from being obese. The thing is we need Josh and some of the other people here to flog themselves, I think, a little more. Thank you, Tom. That's exactly what I want, some repentance. I'm a failure. I'm stupid. I don't know things, things like that. That's right. I'm young. I should know everything. I should know things more. How do I not know that? I'm a fucking moron. Exactly. They're supposed to be up on all the technology, the AIs, the things. I let you down. I let myself down. Things like that. I like this. Yeah. Speaking of, let's talk to this clown any real quick. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, I'm a fucking weak, we get closer and closer. Oh, boy. So a few weeks ago, I was explaining how the only thing that I'm really concerned with, and I really feel like I'm trying to encourage people in this regard. Do whatever you want, obviously, is when it comes to your weight and your body, isn't the number on the scale. It's your body composition. That's what matters. That's true. There's some people that are, I'm talking about men that are like 225, and they're fucking, they look perfect, right? But that's that guy. Somebody else, it might be 170. Like the scale doesn't matter. It's your composition. Like your lean mass versus your body fat, right? Like what's that? Look, there's a whole huge range in which is healthy, and there's a range within if you wanna be like, I don't know, elite or whatever, but it's knowing that that I think is important. So I was encouraging, I was saying that I had done this, and that's what I'm really trying to focus on is just the composition, not the scale number. And in doing so, I was like, you know, I've gotten more dialed in on like what certain body fat percentages mean for like the male physique, right? So you start to learn like this is obese. This is like, you know, moderately healthier. This is like, you know, some extra weight. This is starting to get into like pretty lean, and this is like super lean. Like you're learning what those are. So in doing that, I was like, oh, I wonder, because we've obviously, we've worked with Enny for a long time, he's a super lean guy. You know, he's like, he's a guy that is like, he doesn't carry a lot of weight. He's like a squirrel or a grey hat. And he's been always been very lean, never really been like a hardcore gym guy, but he's a very, he's a strong guy, and he can eat, he's one of those body types. I feel like you can eat whatever and doesn't have to think about it. So I was like, well, I encourage him. I was like, I'm just so curious what's your, you know, like composition like? And he went to get a scan, a dexa scan to get like the numbers. And what are the results of that, Enny? According to the dexa scan, your boy fat as fuck, apparently I am 22% body fat. That's wild. 22. To me. Which is why today's cap report is body fat. It's body fat, got it. Body fat percentage, it doesn't fucking exist. I can run faster, jump higher, punch harder. This had you, could you send it to me? You had 21.6, which- Is that unhealthy in the range for men? No, it's not unhealthy. It was a bit surprising, just like looking at any, but then again, like somebody who's like pretty lean like him, you can be like very dialed in on that, you know? And there's also, there's a spectrum to how lean a lean person is. Oh wow. So 20 is that far right one. That's what it's saying that Enny's category is. Definitely not what I look like. Do you think, what do you think you look like? Cause I don't think, you showed me your belly today and it didn't look, like you don't look like, obviously like 30 down there, but I don't think at your current state you look like 15. I think you've been at what that 15 looks like, but I don't think you're currently there right now. Am I wrong? I think I don't only because of the like extra muscle. I'm not built, but in terms of like the abs, my abs look like that. They don't look like. They look like 15? Yeah, like 20. I mean, that's definitely, again, it's more like, you know, what's the word? I don't know, more fucking prevalent, I don't know how to say it, but. But don't you feel like, like this, from what I saw, like you were sitting in a chair and you just lifted up your shirt. I didn't see definition. I just saw it like kind of, like undefined, but not like, again, not heavy. It to me looked like, oh, if he spent, you know, six weeks like caring about it, your body would change dramatically. That you were just kind of like going through them. Like, you know, like you're not particularly working on this right now. And that you are, yeah, you never are, right? Like you just kind of like, yeah. I haven't been to the gym. I mean, I went, I went to the gym every day for that basketball thing. And before that, I want to say the last time I went to the gym was like, I don't know, 10 years ago. And then food wise, you never really care, right? I mean, yeah. Nothing but garbage, yeah. So do you think that the thing is wrong or do you just think that like, who cares? I think that it's cat. I think it's all a mindset. Wait, wait, wait. I'm talking about the data. Like, do you think it is, it's an inaccurate data? Or do you think that it's like, yeah, I mean, do you think it's not accurate? What it said? I mean, I don't know. I guess I don't have anything to like compare it to. I just trust it, I guess. I mean, I don't really, it doesn't. I think it would be an interesting experiment for you. Because the great thing is when you have like a baseline is if like, if you have that report that you now have that you shared with me and you take like a completely, like you for yourself take a photo when you get home in the bathroom where like in like your boxers where you just see yourself un-flexing, just like chilling. This is getting weird. It's not weird, it's for you. I'm not saying to share them. I'm saying it's for you. So you take photo of yourself where you see your physique you see exactly where you are and then you have your data from last week. And then if you were to go like, okay, there's, you know, essentially four weeks left in the year. So you give yourself like eight, 12 weeks. And in those eight to 12 weeks, you just, you don't have to go extreme. But I'm saying you dial in a few things. Meaning you try to just adapt to a little, little healthier diet and just like a few days a week of training, I bet you within, if you gave yourself 12 weeks and you had a dexa scan again and you tried to address some of those things, you would go, oh yeah, I see how dramatic this can be with just a little, because you have the body type where I think a little bit of dialing that in, could he get like extreme results? No, you're a hundred percent. I mean, yeah, it's really, it's always just been a matter of time. I would definitely need to get a personal trainer because I just don't, and a dietitian probably because the thing about getting healthy that's always stopped me is I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't know how to work out. I think you're right. I don't know how to eat right. I don't know the right calories and protein and that's most people because we don't get taught that, which is like the two things that always feel like the strangest as you get older is when you realize we don't teach really how to be healthy. Like in schools and we don't teach really people unless they pursue it finance. Exactly. We just go like get out there, fucking put it on a credit card. And that's when we just go. Money and health. There should be classes devoted to this. You have to seek it out. We don't go like we're gonna teach you that. Because any, your body naturally, could you imagine? If you were like really into it. And he's still young enough? You're not even, what are you? You're not even 40. He's not even close. How old are you, 28? 29. He's lying. Are you 30 something? But you're still young. You could. Cap. Wow. Did you imagine this? All right, enough of this clowning around. You gotta. This is crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. You know what I used to love? What? Not a hook. No, okay. I'm gonna send this to black Twitter. What are you talking about? Sending it straight to him. For what? You're gonna get another round of this shit. What? I didn't do anything. I tell ya. I didn't do anything. Let me tell you. I walked into that guy, who's this clown? And then I just went in, unbelievable. Hold it double down. Black Twitter will hear. Okay. So, wait, so are you interested in that at all, or not really though? The pursuit of the, like you don't, When I, You're a normal, healthy guy. I mean, moderately healthy, let's be honest. He's not healthy. Like my habits are probably the least healthy of any person in the world. And your body is not matching your habits. Absolutely not. Like your body is still like, hey, we're pretty good. Somehow, yeah. I really haven't lost much of anything in like 10 years. Do you wanna change that? Or are you just like, I don't really fucking care. I mean, like, I think once, there will be a day. There'll be a day. And I will go hard, and it will be like a thing I'll only focus on. But again, it's like the, cause I can't do the thing where you're saying, where you're like, oh, don't go all the way in. Don't be super extreme about it. Right. Just do like a little bit. Cause that's not how you do it. It's not just that I don't, it's that I'm not gonna care then. And then I'm just gonna be like, ah, well, why do I even need to do this? That's a good point. I'll just quit. That's a good point. So if I did it, I would go super hard. But again, it's like, I know I'm gonna need a fucking dietician or fucking, you know. Dude, he smokes cigarettes, right? You smoke OG cigs. Remember when we used to order In-N-Out at the old studio in Recita? Oh, and he would like go ham on like five burgers or whatever. Bro, how many burgers could you eat at once? I used to have at least four. But it also, I'll be like, when'd you last eat? And you'd be like, last yesterday at one. And then today at four, you're like, I'm just gonna go home and get another pizza and then I'll be good for another day. Yeah, they came up with a term for it, I guess, later in life, but I grew up doing that my whole life. But I guess I just intermittent fast. Oh yeah, you were. Whole life. You were. I was gonna know that was the term. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. So you weren't ever like a breakfast, lunch, dinner. You were just like, I'll eat when I'm hungry. You just eat once. I can't eat in the morning. Food, food. I don't like it either. It's disgusting for like at least four hours after a late night. I wish I could eat. You and I are totally opposite with breakfast. Tom wakes up, his eyes open, he wants to eat immediately. Me, I'm like, ugh, just like, I don't wanna fucking eat. I just wanna jack my stomach full of dark brown coffee and like take Prozac on an empty stomach. And then rip that coffee, take a shit, and then wait until I'm starving and then I'll give myself food. It's normal. Everybody's got habits. It's pretty much like around like 11.59 p.m. That's like right around where the hunger starts kicking. Wow. Which I heard is a really good time to eat. That's when they tell you to eat before you sleep. Eat and lay down. That's what they say. Eat and lay down. So that's what I do, yeah. That's the secret. All right, well we'll discuss whether or not you wanna go all in. You would look so amazing. You would. If you put, of all our bodies on the staff. Yours is the closest to being ready to go. You could just wrap, dude. Yeah, all right. We have to wrap this up. Let's do it. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening. And just make sure you scan your surroundings whenever you're anywhere. Go get that flashlight. When you walk into a store, don't forget if you're a pumping guy, you can just take off with the gas pump in. Don't forget. And get a flashlight and we'll be back with more ways to prepare yourself to stay safe out there, and keep your family safe. We'll see you next week. What's up there, Chomo? Listen here. Can you tell me the speed all around here, my dear brother? BASS century ago and you're still paying to use them for your broadband today. If it ain't broke, what? Stop! Your days of selling phone age broadband are over! Blast! I've spilled the beans! Upgrade to 100% full fiber! Gigaclear, faster broadband for rural Britain from only 19 pounds a month! Price may rise during contract. T's and C's apply. Check availability at gigaclear.com.