You're listening to After Action Report at Savage.Lab. Welcome to After Action Report, where I talk with Savage Lovecast listeners who've tried something new about that new thing they tried. This week, Sarah joins me to tell me all about the three-way-allways she just had. So what is a three-way-allways? Listen and learn. Sarah, welcome to After Action Report. Thanks for having me. So before we get down to what you got up to, tell us just a little bit about yourself, something you're comfortable sharing. Yeah, sure. I'm a midlife woman in a date on the East Coast. I am single and dating. And yeah, let's go for it. So what is it that you did? What's the new thing you tried? Yeah, I had an MMF threesome. An MMF threesome. And in your email to us, you described it as an all-sides threesome or an all-ways threesome. What is it that you meant? I think I said all directions. All directions. Meaning that everyone was involved with each other. So it wasn't two guys terrified that they might bump decks out of threesome with a woman kind of staying as far, orbiting her like a couple of planets and staying as far away from each other as they possibly could while still having sex with this woman at the same time. These were two guys who were down to fuck not just you, but also each other a little bit. Absolutely. Yep, absolutely. And this was new for you? Yep, it was. Yeah. Was it your first threesome? It was not. I had had some threesome. They were like three women when I was younger and then more recently a man and two women. Okay, so set the scene. Who are these players? Who are these guys? Introduce us to the dudes. Totally. So I'm actually kind of dating both of them independently. Jay is someone with whom I would say I have a more emotional connection with as well as a sexual connection. We meet each other's families. We go to social events, the kind of conventional performance. And then M is the other one. He describes himself as bisexual, but he really means that he's truly bisexual but homo-romantic. So he doesn't really want an emotional connection with women. I mean, sorry, a romantic emotional connection. I would say that it's the most successful friends with benefits I've ever had because the terms are really clear. And there's an emotional connection there, but what he, to say that you don't want an emotional connection does not mean you can't connect emotionally with somebody on that level. You don't want a romantic, intimate, ongoing, that thing. You don't want that thing or you're not capable of having that thing. Yeah, the care is as friends and everyone's on the same level. Whereas with Jay, there is more kind of emotional romance to it. And I should say that Jay identifies as heteroflexible. All right. So whose idea was the threesome? Did you propose it to them? Did one of them propose it to you? How did it come into, to come to happen? Yeah, it was my idea. So kind of knowing that M is bisexual and knowing kind of who he is attracted to, I realized that Jay fit the bill in terms of physicality and stuff. And then I also knew through just my relationship with Jay that he was kind of interested in like playing with a dick, trying to get on for size. And of course I knew that I was like totally open to all of this. And so I had independent conversations with each of them about their interest, their limits. I shared photos with each of their permission. Like consent is so important to all of us. And so I shared photos to be like, what do you think about this guy? And then we talked really specifically about kind of acts. So for example, it was very clearly state, like it was clear that none of the three of us were interested in like whatever the like gold metal DP is because M doesn't like anal with women. And frankly, neither Jay nor I are really into it anyway. And so that was like immediately clear. DP is a spectrum, double penetration. Some people think Eiffel Tower is DP because there's a dick in your butt or your pussy and a dick in your mouth. Other people define it as two dicks in one orifice. But of course, in with cis women, it can be one in the one in the vagina and one in the rectum can also be. No one was interested in that. All right. So they're down. You set it up. You show them pictures of each other. You know them both well enough to know that they might click sexually. How do they come together? How do you make the date? Where's the big night going to go down? I mean, so the big night first of all has a lot to do with scheduling because like two of three of us are parents. Two of three of us work out of town a lot. You know what I mean? So it's just like, I know what you mean. I know you know. So the scene was kind of set. And the idea was that Jay and I, who spend a lot of time together anyway, would like romantic time would just kind of be here and like hang in the in the entry way. And then whenever M showed up, we would all kind of talk and chat. And then I should say, Jay asked me how I wanted it to go. Like he's very invested in my consent and leadership and everything, not leadership in like a female-led relationship, but like in my empowerment, I want to say. Yes. Oh, and what I said to Jay is maybe the three of us can chat. And then at some point I'm just going to remove myself and say, like, I'm going to go to this other area of the residence and you two can spend some time together and you can decide if one or two of you is coming my direction. Hopefully not zero. I would certainly. I didn't run off with each other. You get married and you never heard from them ever again. Right, right. Exactly. And so that happened. And so M got here, the three of us hung out a little bit. Actually, hilarious M got here. And it was like, I don't mean to say that they were like bro-y. I do want to say that they're both rexional, like pretty serious athletes. One of them on ice. And so like my biggest fail in this whole fucking thing was to not name our group chat. He did collaboration or something because that was. It is ribaldry. Right, exactly. But so he got here. They kind of like it was kind of adorable to watch them be like, hey, man, nice to meet you, you know, like shaking hands, like totally like a social event. M immediately spotted some snacks that I've been having on the table. And he's like who eats pistachios. And I was like, I do. He's like, shit, I am allergic to tree nuts. And I was like, well, lucky for you, we don't even make out because you don't like women romantically. So like, I think if you're cool with it, you know, so good laughs. And then I just said, I'm going to go to this other area of the house and maybe it just like chillax a little bit. You guys do your thing. And then whoever wants to join me is welcome. So what thing did they do while you were off in the other part of the house? Did they break the ice with each other physically before they joined you? Oh, such a great question. I cannot say if I know the answer to that because I wasn't watching, but I was listening and it was just conversational. It was mostly conversational. I should say that Jay, the the heteroreflexible guy is not particularly interested in kissing men. It was actually kind of very evenly matched, like in terms of like, M doesn't like to kiss women. Jay doesn't like to kiss men. So there was like a kind of order of operations, I guess. I can see it's not quite symmetry, but there's a kind of geometry at work here. Where Jay wants to kiss you. But M doesn't want to kiss you, but M might want to kiss Jay, but Jay doesn't want to kiss him. So there were certain limitations. Yes. Imposed on everyone that had to be born in mind. So let M didn't go in for a kiss from Jay because it was going to establish that Jay doesn't, Cowboys don't kiss. They used to say among gay men in the seventies, gay men who are like, fine, getting their asses fucked, fine, suck in a deck, but didn't want to kiss because that was gay. I remember those guys. I just say it's not for homophobic reasons. Like he's kissed men before. It's just not his thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it has to be necessarily homophobic. They, they joined me. So Jay is like, uh, and you know, I was wearing like an outfit. I knew they'd both like, and so Jay was like, like, I kind of liked, like, spank you a little bit. And I was like, cool, cause that's like something we do. And M was like, I'd like to watch. And I was like, great. And so that began and then almost immediately like M jumps in and he's like on my breasts and he's like getting involved. And I'm like, okay, like let's kind of rearrange kind of where we're at specifically to have more horizontal space. And so we like go to another area and create more horizontal space. And I mean, immediately like took off our clothes and started fucking in all directions. So like I definitely experienced PIV with both of them. Definitely did oral with both of them. Definitely Eiffel Towered with both of them. And then at some other point, they each respectively were, you know, sucking each other's cocks and everything. And then like we broke, you know, we took like a break. And there was like a lot of like chatting and laughing and like just normal hanging out. And then we like went back at it for another round. And then everyone was kind of spent and I was like, hey, who would like to put your comfy clothes back on and I'm going to order pizza and we can watch stupid TV. And like that was a unanimous delight. And so we did that. We literally like turn on the TV in our pajamas and ate pizza and laughed. Did everybody get off? Did everybody come? Yeah, yeah, everybody did. I should say that I had an unexpected sense of performance anxieties. They both were interested in each other. They also were very interested in making me the center of attention, which I appreciate deeply because I feel like a little bit of an exhibition of streak, like I don't need to be like out in public, but I definitely get off on my partner, like watching me come. And I think that I, I mean, I did, but getting there, there was a little bit of like, oh, that's a lot of observation. A lot of double the eyes. It's interesting that you say that because when people talk about performance anxiety, it's almost always in reference to men or people who are assigned malad birth, like can't get hard. But performance anxiety is something that assists women or a woman can experience where like there's a little bit of a trip wire that throws you out at the moment and it can be a little harder to focus and get off. And so it's nice to hear you acknowledge that. Is it nice to hear a woman talk about Prince? I think that'll be a comfort to a lot of guys out there who think that's just a guy thing. It's not. Thank you. Thank you. And I should say that I have been using Prozac a little bit lately for, you know, in the last year and a half for just some anxiety. And I'm aware that's really changed my orgasm. And so I like didn't sweat it. I just kind of knew that that has often also kind of softened some things. And so I just, you know, like everyone was very gentle and like we got me there. No problem. Okay. I got to know because I got to ask because of Jay, your, your regular partner, M, the bi guy who doesn't kiss women, where did they come? Did they come with each other? Did they give each other orgasms or was it the focus back to you when it was the guys to get off? I would love to tell you that I remember that specifically. Oh, that's what I would have put in my dear diary. That's the first thing I would have written down that night. No, no, actually, I'll tell you the first thing I wrote down that night in my dear diary. So like Jay and I are in midlife, like we're both midlife humans. And he's lived a life of being extremely physically fit due to his job. And he's feeling a little self-conscious about, you know, a little punchy, you know, whatever, like I think he's hot as fuck. And he has like a great dick, like a stellar. And I'm just supposed to take your word for that. Dick? Well, I'm going to. And I will. I am. Actually, I am just supposed to take your word for that. And I'm going to. Thank you. But more importantly, M was like, dude, you have a great cock. And I know that it like having the like affirmation of this like younger man who fucks plenty of men was probably really amazing. So speaking of like insecurities and like all these things. I have two questions. I always say that don't have a three way if you can't handle that moment, that it's a two way and it's not you're not one of the two. Because it's always like this brief time in three ways where there's like this rolling around and like two people will click and catch a group for a second and you're outside it. And if you can't imagine yourself that moment enjoying watching and being outside it and then figuring out where you dive back in, or they're going to like at some point pull you back in and just to be confident about you can even say that in advance. Like I know that at some point it might become a two way for any combination of the three of us as a two some and that's fine. Everybody like at some point remember to pull the third back in. Did it become a two way? I mean, minor Lee here and there, but I think that because both of them are interested in watching, no one ever thought about it that way. And I'm going to like go out on a limb and say something a little like like controversial and probably not like the kind of feminist that I want to be. But I have found more of that challenge with two women and one man. I think like when I did like a three woman thing, it was cool like that. No problem. This cool like that. I think there I think, unfortunately, there is something socialized or whatever about like two. And I should say like I think of myself as kind of somewhere between heteroreflexible and queer. And I think that like for especially for like like real, real like het women, like straight women, like there's some kind of fucking. And maybe this is true about like an M. Is it needing to be the center of attention during maybe I don't know. I don't know. So I want to be really like gentle and blame that on society and like the way we force competition between like people who are of like identities, whether it's like two cis het women, two cis het men who also have homophobia throw in. But I would just say that like for me, part of the beauty of like a three way that has any queerness associated with it is I think probably more often, maybe not always, but at least in my experience, watching as participation and like championing as participation as part of it. So I have to ask New York magazine out with a big cover story about all these women into heated rivalry. You brought it up first, so I don't feel bad that we're going there broaching the HR go running to HR, I should say. And like all these women out there, it's just women, queer women who are like really into like watching two guys fuck really into M.M. romance, really loved heated rivalry and other shows like it that are out there. What was it like? This is the first time you've been in the room when two men were sucking each other's cocks. How was that for you? It was hot, you know, like it was it it was hot for me because I knew how into it they were. So it wouldn't have been hot for you if they were just doing for you and they were both crying while they did it and being traumatized. Or like performative, the way the like performative lesbian shit for men is so obvious and like so not fucking hot. No, no, but they were both really into it and like I caught both of their glances at different points where they were like giving each other blowjobs and I loved it and I also really valued the trust that they felt in me in particular Jay. Like that was so I felt really special. Look Ma, I'm on top of the world, but I've been in that space with somebody who's doing something new that I helped facilitate or set up or I was a part of and they're like really it's a bungee jump and you catch their eye and they look at you like holy fucking shit. Yeah. Look at me, look at what I'm doing, look at me and Ma, I'm on top of the world and it's it's magic to be to be a part of that. Yeah, like I'm very nurturing. I kind of describe myself as like a very earnest bottom. That's kind of like my role, like the idea of being like like what is it called like Braddy is so far into me and I actually named our original group chat the hostess with the mostest because I really did feel that way. I was like lucky me, you know, the hostess with the mostest dick in that that night. Sarah, would you do this again? Are you going to do this again? Jay and M both in your life. We are already scheduling like it's all schedules, man. We're like excited about next time. Sarah, thank you so much for coming in After Action Report and it was a good experience and I'm glad to hear it. And definitely, you know, I hope Jay and M have both expressed their gratitude to you for making this happen for them. Absolutely. There's been lots of After Action kind of chatter and titillation and yeah, we're psyched for next time. Sarah, thanks so much. Thank you. Bye. Thank you for sharing, Sarah. So glad that three way always went so well. All right, if you have something you tried recently that you want to tell me and my listeners about, if you want to debrief and decompress with me here on the show, write it up and send it to us at qatsavage.love and you might be my guest on a future After Action Report. All right, we will have a new After Action Report out for you all next Friday. This episode of the Savage Love Cast is brought to you by Load Boost by VB Health. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, the volume and the overall health of your semen. If you're already putting in the work, why not make your performance unforgettable, made in the USA, NSF certified and produced in an FDA registered facility. Thousands of guys across 50 states and 45 countries swear by Load Boost. 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