Iran: Oops! All Ayatollahs

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And now owning a home can be better with Built, too, earn rewards and get something back wherever you live. Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbuilt.com slash love it. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T dot com slash love it. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. In moments like these, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and even easier to feel powerless. But we are neither. I'm Stacey Abrams, and on my podcast, Assembly Required, I take on each executive action, legislative battle, and breaking news moment by asking three questions. What's really happening? What can we do about it? And how do we keep going together? This is a space for clarity, strategy, and hope, rooted in action, not denial. New episodes of Assembly Required, drop Tuesdays. Tune in wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube. пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад We've got a great show for you tonight. Paul Feig is here. Monique, change is here. But first, let's get into it. What a week. That's fair. Oh. Philosophy, philosophy, philosophy. Well, you know what that sound means. The philosopher Isaiah Berlin, in a famous essay from 1953, quoted the Greek poet Arkyllicus, who wrote, the fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing. And that one big thing, I'm covered in tiny little fucking spikes. Now because I was once young, but am now old, I remember how this analogy became part of the debate about the George W. Bush presidency. Does anyone else remember this debate coming up when George W. Bush was president? It's fine if you don't. Why would you? After 9-11, Bush was imbued with almost mythic leadership qualities. Approval rating sword into the 90s, even though he was still just this inarticulate, unimpressive guy. I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive. We really graded this guy in a curve, specifically the curve an airplane makes when it flies into a skyscraper. But we lives just didn't get. Bush was a hedgehog. He knew one thing, the threat terrorism posed to society. Transformational leaders distilled the world into simple moral terms. Churchill understood the coming danger of the Nazis. Gandhi understood the power of nonviolent resistance. Bill Clinton knew when Hillary Clinton was traveling for work. Of course Bush's presidency is ultimately defined by the endless wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. It turns out a leader who only knows one thing is undone by all the things he didn't know. Anyway, this came to mind this week as we have a Republican president once again launching another preemptive war in the Middle East. And seeing how this administration has conducted this war, I found myself missing the days when we had a president who at least knew one thing. In a phone interview with CBS News, Trump said, I think the war is very complete pretty much while the Pentagon posted we've only just begun to fight. So it's basically over, but we've only just begun to fight. What is this? Every divorce in LA? Trump was pressed on the contradiction. Mr. President, you've said the war is quote very complete, but your defense secretary says this is just the beginning. So which is it? And how long should Americans be prepared for this war to last for? Trump went on, if we subscribe to Everett's many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics, then every possible outcome of a quantum event is in fact an actual outcome, another branch in a tree of parallel universes that exist in quantum superposition. Schrodinger's cat is dead in one and alive in another. The war in Iran is over and it has only just begun. So it's a dumb question, you ugly pig bitch. As of this recording, seven Americans are dead and hundreds of Iranians have been killed, including many children at a school that appears to have been hit by an American cruise missile. As evidence mounted that the school was hit by U.S. strikes, Trump claimed that Iran was responsible. Did the United States bomb a girls elementary school in southern Iran on the first day of the war and kill 175 people? Based on what I've seen, that was done by Iran. Is that true, Mr. Hexha? It was Iran who did that? We're certainly investigating. You're very inaccurate, as you know, with their munitions. They have no accuracy whatsoever. It was done by Iran. Also, and you're never going to believe this, those girls flew themselves to Epstein's island, bunch of little Amelia Earhart's crazy stuff. Trump was pressed on that claim during a press conference Monday. You just suggested that Iran somehow got its hands on a tomahawk and bombed its own elementary school on the first day of the war. But you're the only person in your government saying this. Even your defense secretary wouldn't say that when he was asked, standing over your shoulder on your plane on Saturday. Why are you the only person saying this? Because I just don't know enough about it. I think it's something that I was told is under investigation. But tomahawks are used by others, as you know. Numerous other nations have tomahawks. They buy them from us. But I will certainly, whatever the report shows, I'm willing to live with that report. Of course, when he says live with the report, he means he's going to steal the report and put it in a box in his bathroom at home. It's hard to know if Trump even understands the gravity of what he's done. You just said it is a little excursion and you said it is a war. So which one is it? Well, it's both. It's both. It's an excursion that will keep us out of a war. And the war is going to be, for them it's a war. For us, it's turned out to be easier than we thought. What, was he worried the school might fire back? How are we supposed to joke about this? The news is so fucking heavy. I don't know how we're supposed to joke about it when the news is so fucking heavy. I need a drink, ideally one made by an acclaimed director. Hi there, Joe. Hi, Paul Feig. Cheers to you. Thank you, Paul Feig. You're doing great work. Thanks a lot, Paul Feig. Fantastic. Oh, is a man to see freed in this? Because it's a Paul Feig triumph. The house maid, now available on demand. I do want this, hold on. Tough week of news. The reason Trump has begun calling this war an excursion is because he's worried about oil prices. There are reports that Iran has been laying mines in the Strait of Hormuz. On Wednesday, three commercial ships were attacked near the Strait. And in his first comments, since becoming Iran's new supreme leader, Ayatollah Khomeini II, death to America Boogaloo, announced via statement on state TV that Iran would continue to block the Strait as a tool to pressure the enemy. Well, I don't feel any pressure, declared Trump, before asking Marco Rubio to invent an, I quote, a flinstone car but real. Iran's new leader is the son of the previous leader, who was killed by airstrikes and seems to be a younger version of his father, only more radical and now pretty angry about Trump killing his entire family, but always exciting to see a new generation get involved in politics. I guess. Meanwhile, according to Fox News host Brian Kilmeade, Trump told him that tankers waiting at the Strait of Hormuz should just simply stop being such pussies. Here's exactly what he said. These ships should go through the Strait of Hormuz and show some guts there's nothing to be afraid of. They have no navy. We sunk all their ships. Here we have footage of Trump trying to convince oil tankers to go through the Strait of Hormuz. Oil prices have surged. The energy department announced that 172 million barrels of oil will be released from its strategic reserve over the next four months, but we use like 20 million barrels of oil per day. I use one on the way here. 172 million barrels is barely a week's worth. If we want that oil to last four months, we're going to need a bigger Hanukkah. But not to worry, the Pentagon has been laser focused on what matters, barring press photographers from briefings about the war because they published photos of Hexeth that his staff considered unflattering. This is real. Unfortunately, and I'm not proud of this, it's the most relatable Pete Hexeth has ever seen to me. I also don't believe for a second that it was Hexeth's staff who found those photos unflattering. I know it's a lie because I have a great team here and they are smart and they want what's best for me in the show. And at least once a month, they select a thumbnail photo of my face that undoes three years of therapy. Speaking of looking good, the Wall Street Journal reported this week that Trump has been gifting male members of his cabinet matching pairs of his favorite shoes. The loose one pictured on the right belonged to Marco Rubio. Trump's not even asking for sizes, really. He's just eyeballing it and you get what you get. Scott Besen had to cut off his big toes. Making your subordinates match you? What kind of loser freak does that? For those at home, that's me, Saren Halley. At the ambice, in matching suits. I thought we looked pretty good. That's a good picture. Look at us. Said one female official of Trump's shoes, it's hysterical because everybody's afraid not to wear them. But it's not a cult. But if he gives you shoes, you have to wear them. At least they get some anonymity in the bathroom. Who's crying in the next aisle over? Go ahead, peek onto the provider. Could be anybody. Back to the war. In amazing news for everyone physically at this show, the FBI has warned police departments in California that Iran might want to strike the state with drones and retaliation. A Reuters' Ipsos poll found that just 27% of Americans support the war incredibly low compared to previous conflicts. Which is why when Lindsey Graham, aka the gay of Hormuz, said this. We're marching through the world. We're cleaning out the bad guys. This is Ronald Reagan Plus. Our military is the best of all time. Iran is going down and Cuba is next. In response, Megan Kelly said this. No one elected you as our commander-in-chief. Shut the fuck up. Get off the national scene. You've disgraced yourself and endangered our troops long enough. Megan, we had a Zoom to confer. And you can call Lindsey Graham a fact one time. You get one freebie. It's our gift to you. I have Airbnb with sheen, by the way. What's that? Usually she's in some sort of like red, like kind of like Hieronymus Bosch red kind of wall behind, you know what they're like. All of this has contributed to Trump's unpopularity, his failure to address Americans' chief concerns over prices, and it's put Republicans on a path to defeat in the midterms. Which is why on Monday, Trump told House Republicans that they must pass the SAVE Act, which is the election overhaul bill to require a birth certificate or passport to vote. And I'm not doing it for this reason at all. It'll guarantee the midterms. It'll guarantee the midterms. If you don't get it, big trouble, my opinion. Why is he being coy about this? He incited a mob to storm the Capitol to overturn an election, and then he pardoned the mob. You can say you're doing it for that reason. We know you're doing it for that reason. The cat's out of the bag and pooping on Nancy Pelosi's desk. Things are looking so bad for Republicans that on Tuesday, White House Deputy Chief of Staff James Blair privately urged Republican House members to stop talking about mass deportations. Responded Stephen Miller, then how am I supposed to come? And it is pretty crazy because mass deportations were like the centerpiece of their 2024 platform. It's like if Joe Biden had to tell Democrats to stop talking about... This week, Votesave America is launching Project 218. This is our campaign to take back the House. We need as many people to sign up as possible, and we need you to get your friends and family to sign up too. That's our first ask to sign up and get five friends, five coworkers, five members of your family to sign up. This is where we are going to organize. We're going to find the best ways to get involved in the next six months. Spam texts from random candidates and organizations. They don't cut it. It's useless. We will give you the best ways to volunteer and donate and share good information. So please, please, right now go to votesaveamerica.com and sign up. Pause this podcast and take 30 seconds to sign up. Now, do come back. We have worked hard on the next joke. Now it's just us. This is just a moment for us. Hey, I noticed no one's taking out their phones to sign up right now. Great. So right back in my face. What do you say to Trump when his regime change wore backfires and winds up installing someone even worse? I told you so. We're now going to have a debate in Congress over whether to approve additional funding for the Pentagon to the tune of $50 billion or slightly less than what I'm spending on this fucking wedding. This guy knows what I'm talking about. And this is despite your reports that the Pentagon has been struggling to spend the $1 trillion it already has. The Daily Beast has a story that the Pentagon has been on a spending spree, including an almost $100,000 Steinway grand piano for the Air Force chief of staff's home and $21,000 on a handmade Japanese flute. Jesus Christ, how they find such a cheap flute. Or maybe I'm getting ripped off by my wedding vendors. Fuck. Anyway, back to the war. The vast majority of Republicans will fall in line and support more funding. The vast majority of Democrats will oppose it. And yet House Minority Leader Hakim Jeffries wouldn't commit either way, saying on Sunday we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. No, don't cross the bridge. You don't need to get to the bridge. You can stop walking right now. Delaware Senator Chris Coons told Crooked Zone Matt Berg I would not vote to authorize this war through a supplemental. Okay. But he also said I am interested in and will listen to arguments about what's necessary to protect our troops. I have to tell you. I feel like I am not smart enough to understand these complexities. Like I can't depreciate the nuance. You're all trying to be foxes, but I'm in the market for a hedgehog. There's actually only one thing we need to know. Trump is an unfit fucking moron. Do not fund his illegal war. Do not enable him. That's it. I know that we are foxes by nature, but it's hedgehog time, bitches. Oh, you fired gnomes, so we should fund DHS now. No can do. I'm covered in tiny little spikes. You want funding for a war Congress didn't approve because a trillion dollars isn't enough? No can do. I'm rolled into a tight ball and covered in tiny little fucking spikes. Isaiah Berlin's conclusion in that essay, which I know you're all fucking fully horny to get more details about, was that sometimes greatness comes when foxes want to be hedgehogs. Sometimes the world is complicated, but sometimes the answer isn't. And that answer is a second martini from Paul Feek. Thank you Paul Feek. Call this one the house babe, because you just know there's a twist. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Willys Remedy. Your favorite. I love Willys Remedy. It's awesome. It's awesome. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад пад Right. Willis is a premium THC product. 15 minutes, huh? Yeah, it is. It's fast. It's fast. That's good to know. It's really good. Oh, you hear Willie Nelson is making a weed thing. You're like, oh, well, boy. Boy. Good night, you know. But you know what? The man knows what he's doing. 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As many as 200 Planned Parenthood health centers could close, cancers will go undetected, STIs will go untreated, and patients won't get the birth control or abortion care they need to plan their families and their futures. But Planned Parenthood isn't backing down, they're still showing up for patients providing essential care and making sure everyone can get the life saving, life changing services they need. It's getting harder for families to keep up with the cost of living from the grocery store to the doctor's office, stripping away access to affordable healthcare as a direct hit to our communities. Planned Parenthood believes healthcare is a right, not a privilege, and they will never stop fighting for your right to quality affordable healthcare, but they need supporters like you. Donate now to support Planned Parenthood at planparenthood.org slash defend. And we're back! First of all, one note. Subscribers are loving the bonus content through Friends of the Pod. Pod Save America Only Friends is our new subscriber-only episode of Pod Save America. How many people here have listened to it? It's really fun. It's just for the friends. That's why it's called Only Friends. You can also get OnlyTabs, our newsletter from Reed Chirlin, Paul LaCosta with Dan Pfeiffer, Terminaly Online, Subscriber to Friends of the Pod, support our independent media company. We're trying to build a pro-democracy media company. We need your help. So if you haven't signed up yet, do us a favor, go to crooked.com slash friends. All right. I said OpenTabs. What did I say? I said OnlyTabs? I said OnlyTabs, it's OpenTabs. I've already had a martini. My first guest is a phenomenal director. Most recently, I have the housemaid as well. What the fucking hell is that? As well, oh, what? I don't even understand my own intro. Anyway, he's an amazing director. Please welcome Paul Feig. Hi, thanks for being here. Come on. You nailed it, John. I nailed it. I nailed it. I nailed it. Oh my God. So first of all, the last time you were here, I was so excited you were here, because the last time you were here, you made cocktails. And once again, you're making cocktails, because this is your own Jim Artingstahl Gin. And I'm a gin person, as we discussed. Are there any trends that you're getting on board with, with drinking? Because for a while, they were putting drinks with dry ice, and then there was a lot of science around the drinks. Yeah, all that kind of molecular mixology. I don't know, I just like a good straight up martini. Cheers. Cheers. Here we go. This is good. This is real thing, too. We're in business now. We're in business now. If something's great, don't mess with it, I like to say. Here, John, I brought you my book. Oh, your book? Oh, thank you, cocktail time. I like, you know, because I'm gonna, oh thank you. It's such a nice little signature from you in there. I'm gonna look through this, because I wanna pick out some fun cocktails, because I'm gonna get married in a couple months. And we get to, and I'm gonna get, gonna cocktail time. Great advice, embarrassing stories, 125 classic and original drinks. There you go. I wanna make sure I read it. I'm gonna find a cool gin drink in there, because obviously everyone knows a martini, and I love a martini. Bill, our producer, said, what kind of gin drink do you like? And I said martini, and he said, okay, what's another gin drink you like? And I said, a second martini. There you go. There you go, I like it. So the last time you were here, you were promoting another simple favor, and you said you were breaking your NoSQL rule tonight. I'll do it again, because apparently you're already working on a SQL to the housemaid. Yeah, we, oh, thank you, okay. Nice, thanks. Yeah, we are. We're gonna start shooting in the fall. And now in the first movie, Amanda C. Freed and Sidney Sweeney do not kiss. No. They slap. Something to think about. There you go. Because in a simple favor, Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick do kiss. Yes. And it seems like it's stupid that they didn't kiss in this movie, kiss, kiss, you know? People like kissing in the movies. Well, there's a lot of kissing between Sidney and Brandon Sklenar. Oh yeah, a guy and stuff. Yeah. So have you thought about making a SQL to bridesmaids? Because even if it was bad, you'd make so much money. I know, exactly. You should, it's stupid not to. Well, I know that's the problem. Most people do those SQLs just to make that money. But I don't know. For some reason, bridesmaids to me feels like it's just a singular event, because, you know, yeah. Well, with that attitude. All the way to the bottom, like another. I know, trust me, everybody wants us to make one to make a lot of money. But I don't know, when you get away with something and that what we really got away with, just because everything kind of worked, you know, like a SQL would be what, another crazy wedding. But the whole reason that movie works is that Kristen Wiig's character is going through this terrible time and she's a mess and then she kind of fixes herself. So you can't do another one where she does a mess again. No, I guess we could spend five minutes thinking about something else. Yeah. Yeah. You coming to the writer's room, John? I felt like you're turning something over. I think you're finding your way there. I think there's a dark forest in front of you and on the other side is a sequel to Bridesmaid. Just cut through it? Oh, nice. I think you just have to enter that forest and get a little lost. There you go. Yeah. Yes, obviously. Everyone thinks of divorce first. What, you know, this is our 15 year anniversary. The Oscars on Sunday, the cast is gonna reunite on stage. That's so exciting. It's so funny. It's so good. It's still so good. It holds up. It really does. It's so fun. I just had to remaster the whole thing with new sound and we bumped up the quality and everything. Yeah, you said that now, Kristen Wiig shoots first. Yes. Exactly. And then at some point, Java comes in but doesn't look like Java. Right, exactly. Right. That's cool. I never took you for a Star Wars nerd, my friend. Why not? Because I am. You are? Yes. But only the first two. It's gotten too wonky for me now. Oh, really? I should have saved that for later. The first two movies? Yeah. You've been out since. A new hope. Yes, of course. And Empire Strikes Back. But it's pretty funny to be a Star Wars fan that's been out since Return of the Jedi. It's like, okay. So that's been a long time. They've been a lot of stuff. I just watched those first two movies over and over again. Because if you're a fan of 5% of something, what are you? I guess, yeah. But OG. No, believe me, I'm with you. But Andor, did you watch Andor? No. And I know I should, because I know it's very political. And I love politics. But here's the thing. My issue with Star Wars of controversy is I saw the first Star Wars opening weekend when I was 13 or 14. That place, that theater, which was packed, every minute at least there was a giant laugh. That movie was funny. Yes. And then Empire Strikes Back was funny. And then it started to get not funny. They started taking themselves too seriously. So I want to get, let's go back to the fun Star Wars. Oh, I totally agree. Well, I agree. I think. I'm making a lot of enemies right now too. No, no, I don't think you're wrong. The internet already hates me because of Ghostbusters. No, I'm really fucked. I don't think that's true. I don't think you're wrong about that. I think it's, I like Star. No, I don't think Star Wars. I like Andor in part because it does take itself seriously, but it meets the threshold. It is serious. I don't mind with something serious and takes itself seriously. And I don't mind with something silly and doesn't take itself seriously. The problem is when the prequels become are silly, but act like they're high art. It's like, I don't need that. If you're camp, be camp. I love camp, but Andor's a drama. No, and I do need to watch that because I mean, that's Tony Gilroy, right? So. Yeah, it is. He's been on this very show. Oh my gosh. Now, the last time you were here, I tried to get you to talk about the drama around Blake Lively and I won't do that again. Jesus. So, did Sidney... Why did I come back? Did Sidney Sweeney talk at all about what it was like to be in the Capitol on January 6th? Oh man. I'm just kidding. That's not fair. I know it's not fair. I know it's not fair. That's why it's a joke. That's what upset you. I said the craziest shit during the monologue. Sidney's a sweetheart. That's all you're gonna say. She's fantastic. She seems great. He was all crazy. I was just joking. My God. That's the only reason he brought me on the show was that joke. No, I wanted to have a martini. So, transition. Cut to. So, I wanted to ask you about, because we talked about Freaks and Geeks the last time you were on and a lot of that flows from, you wrote a book about it, Kick Me, right? That kind of gets some of your childhood experiences as well and we already resolved that it is not based on Long Island where Judd Abbott tells us from. It is based on Michigan where you are from and I just want to be on the record of saying that, that I've learned from the last show and remember that we had a conversation about it. Even though on some level when I see it, it does take place in my high school and I can't change that. But that's, it should be universal then. Yeah, it is universally for me, because it's in my high school. Very good. But you wrote great stories about growing up in the 70s, but a lot of them are about discovery. Can you talk about finding your dad's Nazi flag? They are like, what? It sounds worse. No, my father was in World War II and he came back, he went into one of the people that went in and took over in Germany and all that stuff. And he and his friends took back all this kind of war paraphernalia. And he had it in a bag in the back of his closet. I used to sneak into my dad's closet, looked through cool stuff and there was knives and all this stuff. And once at the bottom I was like, oh, what's this red thing? I pull it out and it's, I unspool it. Like, wow, hey, this is cool. Look at this flag. And I'm like eight or nine. So I go like, I want to show this off to the neighborhood. So I went and I taped it up in our front window, this giant Nazi flag. And I'm like, this is cool. And then I see my mom's car coming around the corner. I'm like, oh, she's gonna be really excited that I have this up. And I see the car all of a sudden go, rah, and like screech into the driveway. My mother comes running in and like rips it. I was like, what? I thought dad would think it's really cool to have this up. She goes, do you know what that is? No. I learned about Nazis from my mother. Yeah, it's, it is obviously the context is the most important thing. And I want to be on the record of saying the context is the most important thing. It's a great design. They really nailed it. I'm sorry, they did. They fucking nailed it. Well, it was from India, right? It was supposed to be like a good luck sign or something. It's been a few plays. It's been, it was sort of like, I think it had multiple origin points of, but it is like a kind of very, like it's, you know, it's like, there's the Nike swoosh, the swastika. They both crushed for different reasons. What? I hate them Nazis. Nike's great hate the Nazis. I'm on the record. Well, there was a Lenny Bruce joke about, he said, oh, we'll do four sevens. It's lucky, you know. It's a. So you also wrote about being a virgin until you were 24. And I'm just curious, like what was. I'll tell you what I felt when I read that. It was like, wow, what's your secret? Being terrified of everything. Yeah, I was just, you know, look, I couldn't get undressed in gym class, you know. So the thought of like exposing yourself that emotionally and physically to any other person was abhorrent to me, even though, you know, I wished I could, but it's weird when you're especially in the, I mean, I guess it's probably this way now, but in the seventies, everybody was so kind of, you know, disco and all this. I was in high school from 76 to 80. And it was all, you know, people going nuts. So all my classmates were having sex clearly. And I remember once I walked out of my class and this kid, oh, I hated it. He was like a bully and stuff. He goes like, hey, yell to his friend, like if she's not going to kiss, she's not going to fuck. And I was just like, God. So I mean, all these things would happen. You're like, it's so unattractive, everything about this. So I just, I put it off till 24. I mean, do you think there is a connection between what you just described and the fact that you have built a career being a great director of great female comedians, that there's some, like, is that connected to you at all? Yeah, well, I mean, I was an only child. It was really close with my mom. My dad wasn't around a lot because he ran a store. And my next-door neighbors were, it was eight, a family of eight kids, six of them were girls and they were all my best friends. So I just, I always, it's very much pro. Like, if you have boys, make sure they're friends with girls. Cause I just kind of grew up around, so I under, I knew, I knew what girls were about as much as I could, but then seeing, and watching old movies with my mom of like, from the 30s and 40s of Rosalind Russell and Catherine Hepburn and all these strong, female characters that were equals with the men. And then being in love with comedy, especially like in the 70s and 80s when women just started to become props, you know, for guys to be funny against and whatever. And I was like, that's not the women I know aren't like that. The women I know are funny and cool and all this stuff. So it just, it was like, I never latched into that sort of male, you know, not necessarily toxic masculinity, although some of it is, but just that kind of like guys rule and women are props thing. And so I just always wanted to tell all these female stories. That's nice. Oh, thank you. Well, speaking of, you have this movie, The Housemade, and that led us to want to play a game. Mm, I love games. Disgusting, depraved, debased. Yup, political news has been pretty gross recently. In fact, we want to challenge you in a game we're calling sexual Congress or sexual Congress. I don't want to think about Congress or sexual at all. Do we go to? Yeah, it sucks. I'll read you a salacious scenario. You'll tell us if it's from an erotic thriller or actual political news. Are you ready? First up, a Texas gubernatorial candidate's marriage implodes after he discovers his wife's secret affair with a teenage boy. That's gonna be real. It is an erotic thriller. It's from Netflix's The Hunting Wives. Oh, there you go. A Texas attorney general's marriage implodes after his wife discovers his affair with a Christian influencer who has seven children. Real. That is real. It's from the news. That's Texas attorney general Ken Paxton who got served at the board's papers last summer after his wife found out about his secret romance with a Christian influencer. It's a second affair we know about. So, pretty bleak. He's the gift that keeps on giving that. Pretty bleak. That too bleak. Next up, Glamour's girl boss and her brutish lover travel the globe in their specifically outfitted sex play. That's gotta be a... Sex plane, sex plane. Oh, sex plane. That's gotta be a movie. You'd think it was, but it's in fact... Oh, what am I talking about? It's Corian. Yes, it's Corian. Corian, oh my goodness. You got it. The love plane. There they are. Oh, God. Boy, there it is. Oh, God, you can almost smell it from here, can you? What I think about when I see this plane is whatever's going on with the sheets. When you go to a hotel and they have the sheets and there's some kind of decorative blanket and the first thing I do, I walk into the hotel and I was like, get that as far away from the bed as humanly fucking possible. That thing has not been washed since it was put here. The day the hotel opened, like that blanket is not washable. What is that? Is that the blanket that the pilot got fired for not bringing? No, it might be, it could be. I could be. I would like it if it was that big for Binky. Next up, a man embarks on a dark thrilling journey into the heart of the gay leather BDSM scene. Well, that could be anybody. True. It happens to be the plot of the film cruising starring Al Bajita. Oh, well, Jesus. I think it could apply to most of Congress. Hey, did you see that in the theater? Cruising? No, actually, no, I actually saw it later. I remember when it came out. I don't think I was old enough to be able to get in when it came out. I'm trying to remember what year it would have been. Oh, it was 1980, so you could have just gone. Right on the cusp. I had a date once. I wanted to take this girl to see The Shining, and I was in love with her, and she was 19, and I was 16, and they wouldn't let it, they carted me, wouldn't let me in. So we had to go see the Get Smart movie, the nude bomb, and she never went out with me again. So there you go. I don't think like The Shining is so romantic. Well, I don't know what I need better for you. She wanted to see it, because she thought it was cool. I was terrified. I hated scary movies back then. I was really scared. The Shining's pretty good. The Shining's great. What's better, though, the book? I like the book. The book is amazing. I like the book. Well, the challenge he had in adapting it is that he becomes a beast. Yeah, exactly. It's really much more magical, the book. And I'm like an asshole for being a movie director saying the book is better. No, I want you to know something. If there's any audience that is receptive to the book is better, it's the love it, or this is the book is better crap. Unless I make a movie about a book, then the movie's better. Yeah, I want to read Rebecca. Yeah. Because I've never read it, but the Hitchcock movie's great. But I want to read the book. Totally. But that's neither here nor there. Next up, a high-powered woman finds herself wanting more than just safety from her trusted bodyguard. Oh, that's a movie. It's a movie, but it's also true, because it is the plot of 1992. The Bodyguard. It's also a show, The Bodyguard. And Kristen Sinema according to a lawsuit filed by somebody, the strange wife, Sinema sent him a photo of herself in a towel suggesting he bring MDMA on a work trip and said she could guide him through a psychedelic experience. Cool. Wow. Yeah. Like an ayahuasca thing going on there. It's like, ooh, my centrism. I do like her glasses, I will say. Yeah, she has good glasses. She has good glasses. Broken con. I can say something positive about Kristen Sinema. You won the game. Oh, did I win? Woo! That was a nail biter. It was a nail biter. The House made a streaming on demand right now. It is. Available for a second. But they don't kiss in this one. Well, there is kissing. There's kissing. Kissing in sex, yeah. And there's sex. Yes. Sorry. Then you got to go to watch another Simple Favor, then you'll see. And then there's Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick kissing that one. Yes. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Sundays. But it comes to dog food. It seems like you have to make a choice. You can either have fresh and healthy, or you can have easy to store and serve, but never both. But you don't have to choose anymore thanks to Sundays. Sundays was founded by a veterinarian and mom, Dr. Tori Waxman, who got tired of seeing so-called premium dog foods filled with fillers and synthetics. So she designed Sundays. Air-dried real food made in a human-grade kitchen using the same ingredients and care you'd use to cook for yourself and your family every bite of Sundays is cleaned and made from real meat, fruit, and veggies with no kibble. That means no weird ingredients you can't pronounce and no fillers. 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One purchased, one donated, with over 150 million donations accounting. Head on over to bombas.com slash love it and use code love it for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash love it code. Love it at checkout. And we're back. You know my next guest from Drag Race and Traders and sibling rivalry plus her new standup to her high heels bad knees. Please welcome Monet exchange. Hi. So good to see you. Thank you for being here. Hello. Hi Monet. Also correction, Sydney Sweeney was not stormed to capital because she was at home trying on her jeans. Yeah, she was. She was trying on those jeans. Those things are so tight girl. She can't walk upstairs and no things. Can you imagine? It'd be so awful. I'd like the skinny jeans era and I do miss it. Absolutely not. Really? Skinny jeans, oh my God. And they were all low rise too awful. I, you know, I, it's funny because everyone would make fun of skinny jeans and I'd be like, I like them. I like wearing them because I'm little and I like, but I'm learning these, these are, these pants are not skinny jeans. I've moved, I'm adapting and growing and changing and trying to stay current with the times. Cause you realize that, oh, like in my mind, dad outfits are what dads wore when I was a kid. But the dad outfit moves through time with us. And then all of a sudden you realize, oh, ask not for whom the dad outfit tolls. It tolls for thee. No, I have a lot of thigh, a lot of ass. I can't be wearing no skinny jeans. It's not a good look on me. Now like oversized baggy. I like, I like looking like I'm going to middle school in my entire life, you know? So drag race season 18 is airing now. Are you watching the current season? I am watching Bob and I, we do a podcast, something watchery where we review episodes of drag race and it's, it's a good season. It's a good batch of girls. The median age is now like in their 30s. So it's like, so they're more respectable queens. They actually have a point of view. The last season they were all like 22. I was like, ew, get out of here. You don't know, you don't know anything about life. What are you talking about? Yeah. But yeah, and we know, and we, you know a lot about life because people in their 30s know a lot about life. Yes. I am now in my late mid 30s and I'm having a good time. It's nice on this side. I'm closer to 40 now than I, you know, than 30 and it feels good. And I'm, you know, I'm aging decently and I'm not mad at it. Yeah, I think I'm doing good. Although sometimes I see my agent white women like they gasp and then I realize, you know, out of drag, like, you know, in drag, I look like this beautiful goddess, like out of drag when I forget to shave my head because I'm a balding black man. I'm not bald. I'm balding. And the hairline's giving cul-de-sac, you know what I'm saying? So I look like all my life I had to fight. Yeah. Well, so I would, I think like, so this, this, so this ring here, that's from the Hebrew God, but the top here is from a Jewish man in Beverly Hills. So, which is so in a sense, so like this organic, this sort of still from the Jews, but, but like, so he sort of, so like, sort of gut, yeah, you get, you know what I'm saying? So, yeah, that's what I did. I simply emotionally couldn't go ball. I respect people who have the confidence to do it. I don't have it. Well, I have a good head. You have a great head. You look great. I have a good head. I give a good head. It's all good, you know? Do you think Queens should be playing fictional characters on Snatch Game instead of real celebrities? Wow, this is a point of contention, you know? Some people like, people like, please stop making up characters. Why are you playing Sasquatch? Why are you playing the devil, whatever? And I'm like, guys, we're what? We're now 18 seasons in, and also 10 seasons of All-Star. So just almost 30 seasons of Drag Race. Like you kind of running out of the good celebrities. Like who, who are you gonna be? Like Pat Sajak? Like I don't, so. I wig. He did, did he? Yeah. Really? Pat, he ain't gonna turn. He's alive, he's alive. He's alive. He's alive. So I don't know, oh, so then he could be litigious. I think you were a wig. That's based on my right collection. If it's wrong, I'm sorry. Well, it was great. It was great. And like, so I'm all about making up a character. I'm like, if you're like making up like your grandma, like no, like give us like a, because Sasquatch is a celebrity. Jesus is a celebrity. For sure. They're all celebrities. So it has to be something like that. Not your cousin Vinny. I don't know Vinny, you know? What were you gonna say, Paul? You have a great head of hair by the way. Oh my God, thank you so much. It's a beautiful head of hair. No, I was gonna say, for years, I've wanted to be a judge on Drag Race, and they won't let me do it. Why haven't you been? What? Thank you. I'm, yeah, I would love to. That is crazy. They need to have you on. Can I tell you, when I walked through the backstage and I saw you there, I am a huge fan of yours. Obviously the amazing movies you've done, all this stuff you've done. You, I know you and I love you from Missapoo, from Sabrina the Chimage Witch. Oh my God, wow. Yes. I watch every single episode of Sabrina. I used to walk around my house pointing at the toast and be like, you know what I mean? So I'm a, so that's, oh my God. Yes, thank you. Thank you. I had to say that. That's a deep cut, I love it. Thank you. Also in a film called Ski Patrol. Ski Patrol. Oh my God. Wow. And there were two movies. One was called Ski Patrol, and the other was called Ski School. And I don't remember what, and one of them was kind of a little bit more sexual. No, Ski School was raunchy. Yes. Ours was family friendly. Yeah, yours was the family friendly. Ski Patrol was family friendly. Yes. Ski School was super raunchy. Ooh. Yes. Ski School. They're like, they're just, there are boobs on the mountain. Oh wow. Just boobs out on the mountain. There's boobs and an outhouse that turns over on somebody and they get shit all over. Oh God. So we were not going, we were going much class. Yeah, there was the, there was the, yeah, Ski Patrol is the thinking man, Ski School. Oh my. Are there any changes you would make to Drag Race? Oh yes. Okay, one, I think that RuPaul love her. We need to have, we need to have another queen on the dais, right? I think that like RuPaul famously would not have any other queens that can only be her. Raven has made a brief cameo, but not just really judge. So I think we need to get other queens. Like there are seasoned queens from the show who have done and gone on to do amazing things. Bring a Trixie back. Bring a Bianca back there. Bring them on exchange. I don't know someone behind there. I think they should do that. And I think we need to mix up the challenges. I think some of them just put them to bed. Like Smash game is getting worse and worse every season. I'm like, put it to bed. Think of something new. There's so many other games you could do that are fun. Yeah, I feel like the, oh, what's a kind of character that's allowed on Smash game? It's like, is it funny? If it's funny, you can do it. Yeah. But it's gotta be fun. It's gotta be funny. Yeah. It's gotta have a little game to it. Yeah, yeah. So now Paul. Yes. You have a story in your memoir. Wow, you're so classic. About dressing up in your mother's clothes. Yes. Which is, to my mind, drag. It is drag. It is. How did you get away from your experience of doing drag as a child? No, I always root around in my bed. Clearly when I found my father's Nazi flag, I used to root around in my parents' closet. And I found this blonde wig that I put on once. And I thought I looked really pretty. And so then I went into my mom's closet and I found these clothes I put on this dress. And she had these Nancy Sinatra white, tall boots. I put them on. And so I was, so I kind of went into the living room. I was kind of dancing around. And all of a sudden I look up and all these kids from the neighborhood I know are staring through the window. And I'm like, oh, hey, I try to pass it off. They go like, your mom's just been in a car accident. So I go like, oh my God. So I go running. They go, it's over here. So I go running out in this outfit. Like, mom, are you okay? And I'm standing there, oh my God. And they're pulling out of the car. And she's okay, but she's shaking. And so I'm like so sad. And then every eye in the neighborhood like, what the fuck are you wearing? And, oh my God, it was just, Paul, that story took a turn. I was not ready for that. I was not ready for that. Wow. So Monet. Coming to a theater near you. So you, you appeared in a 36 hour edition of Survivor, which is just about half the amount of time I spent on the real survivor. Fuck. What was your 36 hour survivor experience like? Okay, I had to tell you first. So first they send this email and you know, people send random, you get random emails all the time. Like fake ones like, hey, come on, come on, be on John Lovett's podcast. It's some fake thing. They said they're gonna pay you $5,000. They're always fake. These all these all the time. So I get the request for it. I'm like, this is nonsense. But I was like, just in case. Let me just forward it to my agent, just in case. And it had been real. They wanted to bring eight influencers to Fiji and do the entire experience. And I was like, okay, they bring in eight influencers. They're gonna take it easy. They're not gonna do it. They're gonna like put the rain on and off for us. You know, they're gonna, you know, God is gonna do his thing. No, it was the legit thing. And Jeff said it was one of the worst storms they've had in the past 15 years. Doing the show. When was this? This was in May. This was made something to something. So y'all, I'm not kidding you. It started raining at 3 p.m. It did not stop raining until 6 p.m. the next day. But you don't have your, so, and we had to build our own shelter for real. They were not taking it easy on us. So we were just sitting, getting rained on for over 12 hours. And I was like, this is gonna be my 13th reason. And I am gonna unalive myself on this beach. I was so cold. Why am I cold and wet in Fiji? Like that's not what I want, you know? So it was, but it was fun. And I would totally do the real thing. You would do the real thing. I absolutely would. Yeah, I love survivors. But yeah, for me, so I have not, last night I went, so Rob has a podcast, is a big survivor podcast. And so last night I went, they did a live show. And it was actually the first time I watched Survivor since I was voted off. Really? Yeah, it was like a big moment for me. I was like getting back into it. And then I, and like, I, I sort of needed to step back from it because, you know, like, you can love the theater, but if you, if you're like, say, the understudy for Hamilton, and then they call you up and they say, we'd like you to be Hamilton. And they send you out there and you're like, I'm not gonna miss my shot. And then you shit yourself. Like you can still love the theater, but you're probably not gonna go see Hamilton for a while. Yeah. So I like took a break. Oh. So I took a break. But I would, last night being with the, like, the Rob as a podcast, like Survivor World, they're all so enthusiastic. And there were so many survivors there. I was like, hmm, I got the bug again. I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna give Jeff a buzz. He's like, Jeff, come on. Just one more game, one more game. Not that I fucked it up. I don't feel like I didn't have, I had a bad, I didn't have a bad experience. I want more. Let it rain. Let it rain. You know what I mean? I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. But time is so distorted because you don't have your phone or anything. So you just know the sun is setting and the sun is rising. So you like, so the night feels like 29 hours long. Like when is the sun ever gonna come again? I know. And then you miss three dinners and you go home. I have an interesting, let me, interesting survivor thing. When we did the office, the reason the office looks the way it does is Greg Daniels who, who show ran the office got the cameraman from survivor to shoot it. So they knew how to shoot documentary style. So that's why it looks so in the moment. So there you go. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, it was interesting being there with the way they like capture everything. So I went to talk about traders. Yeah. You were great on traders. Thank you. What a great experience. Going too soon. But you know what? You did great. Listen, you were there forever as far as I can start. So two things. First of all, we still, what happened at the reunion that we didn't see? Is there anything from the reunion that happened that we didn't see? Nothing like of no. Like it was just like silly questions. I mean, listen, this reunion is run by Andy Cohen who's obsessed with the housewives. So I felt like it did, they trimmed it back up. It felt very housewife heavy. It was like, Jesus Christ. I'm gonna have to hear one more thing about a housewife or another. I'm like, they're not even married. It was that. But so that was really it. I think everything else, that they just trimmed the fat. I think the network did a good job of showing like really representing that the reunion for it was. So controversial opinion. Oh boy. I love housewives. I am listening. I love traders. There's something about the way in which housewife culture feels more powerful than even the rules of the game because it felt like Candace both was not enamored of Rob the way everyone else was, but also brought housewife rules to the traders game and was more worried about housewife politics than winning because obviously the game was changing. She doesn't wanna vote for Lisa. It feels like she cared more about off-screen future politics than what was happening on the show. Do you think there's a problem of like kind of like the housewife mafia on traders? No, I just think that the housewife players were not strategic and they weren't thinking as a gamer. I think that Rob, even though he's from Love Island, which is not a strategic game, he was thinking of having alliances in and outside of the turret, whereas the housewives only focus on we're gonna protect our crew and in the turret, which was their fatal flaw. Candace did, she made decisions and got rid of her greatest asset. She like, this would make it a camera, but after Porsche got banished, me and Candace were so broken up about it. We went to the bar room together and I was like, listen Candace, I wanna talk to you. I was like, I think I know that you were faithful. I can feel it. I know you are. And I may be wrong and you don't know what I am, but I'll tell you this. If I am a trader, I will never say your name in the turret. And if I'm a faithful, I will always defend you at the round table. And I'm asking for the same thing for you. She was like, I got you girl. And the first time I said Lisa's name, she'd said it to Lisa. So she got rid of her. I was gonna ride with her as far. So she didn't do a good job of getting allies to keep her through the game. Once Lisa was gone, she lost like her biggest play in the game. Such a good thing for you to say. You did the right thing. Yeah, I was like, I don't know what she was, but I mean, she obviously she knew what I was because she was a trader. But I was like, I'll protect you. I'll be your ally, whatever, whichever way it goes down. Yeah, so I think the housewife needs to think like, they need to think like gamers. You can't think like, this is not, we're not turning tables, Teresa Giudice. You're playing the game of traders, you know? So I had Dorinda on the show, love talking to Dorinda, had a blast, everything I hoped she would be. I'm a huge fan of Ron Funches. He's been on this show, he's incredible. I love Ron. What happened? Here's the thing about Ron. Ron went into this game, this strategy game, but it's also a social game. And Ron was not trying to play with any of us socially. I would sit down with Ron in the four year play, in the thing, in the kitchen, and try to strike up a conversation. He's just like, yeah. So it's like, so you can't go out and say, oh, no one wanted to talk to me, be friends with me. Like I felt ostracized when you ostracized yourself. People try to be friends with Ron and try to, because that's, again, it's a social game also. So you gotta build connections that aren't just about who we were voting tonight. Like you gotta drop little things so people feel connection to you or else they don't wanna play the game with you. So I hear that, but none of that would lead people to think he was a trader. I guess what I would say is, when Ron is kind of repeatedly somebody people wanna vote for, is it because they really thought he might be a trader or because he hadn't played a good social game so it was sort of cost-free to vote for him? I think it was more, the social game was, like playing the bad social game was his undoing. Cause he effed us all with the Porsche thing. Like he swayed the entire group. And we could have gotten the trader out on the first night. We could have been the only group, cause they were awful fatefuls by the way. Cause this show is not casting the faithful, they're casting red flags, all of them. They're awful. And so we ended up like, he swayed us off of Donna and Porsche had been going home. And so like that was a really weird for everyone. Everyone was like, why were you so gung-ho about Porsche? So it was that and also the social game. People were like, you're not talking to us. Like what are you really thinking? And we thought it was the Donna effect cause Donna was very vocal at first. Because Donna was talking, talking, talking. After the first night, she got really quiet and really insular. So we like, something is off with that. Like I think the pressures of being a trader were getting to her already. And that's why she just kind of recoiled. So we thought that was wrong too. I'm sympathetic to Ron because I know what it's like to be, like kind of like, to, to feel, he's an odd guy, but he's so funny and he's so smart and he's so, he's so talented. And I feel like he didn't find his groove with the group. That's all. Well, I will say after the show, I have like seen, cause I didn't know much about Ron going in after the show. And now the show is then he, like when we do press stuff together, he's very sweet. But in the context of the game, he was so quiet and wouldn't talk to anyone really. And I wanted him and Dorena to get into it at the reunion. I wanted to know what that was. I was like, Dorena, what the hell did she ask them? What happened between that? Nothing. I don't know. I have no idea. Like no one knows. No one knows. And Dorena also will randomly FaceTime you. Yeah. Like the other day I was just in my hotel room, she just FaceTime. I was like, hey girl, this feels inappropriate. And, and I try to ask her and she didn't know either. So I'm like, what is this thing Ron knows that he, that he hasn't, hasn't told anyone? Last question for you. No, I'm engaged. Stop it. Me too. Timothee Chalamet. Let's show the clip. Oh, stop. He's fantastic. Shut up. Let's show the clip. I admire people when I've done it myself. If you want to talk to me, go, hey, we got to keep the theaters alive. You know, we got to keep this genre alive. And I don't want to be working in ballet or opera or, you know, things where it's like, hey, keep this thing alive. Even though no one cares about this anymore. All respect to the ballet and opera people out there. I just lost 14 cents in viewership. But, um, Damn. I'm finding out now that Matthew McConaughey is in this clip. Did you see though that the LA, I think ballet company made, you can get a 20% discount with the code word Chalamet. I saw that. I saw that. I was like, well done. You're a trained opera singer. Yeah. What do you think about? What do you think about what Tim said there? I think that people are blowing this clip out of proportion. If you watch the full context of the thing, he's not shitting on opera and sitting on ballet. First of all, his entire family is our ballerinas. Like his mom, his sister, his cousin, his grandfather, his niece, everyone, they're all doing pirouettes all day long. Okay. So he wasn't shitting. He was just saying like, and as someone from the opera world, opera is completely, is very giggy. And it is only, they think that only rich white people like opera, which is not true. So I think he's speaking of like, it's a dying art form that way. Like people in urban areas and urban communities and inner city people don't feel like they can go to opera because it's not for them. And opera is dying, y'all. People like these companies cannot afford, so many opera houses have closed in the past three years in America, you would gag at how many. So he's not wrong. So he's just saying in the context, like, and he doesn't want that to happen to film, which a lot of us don't. So I think people blew this way out of proportion and it was not what the internet is painting it out to me. I agree with you. And it's, well, what's interesting about us, to me, the backlash gets a kind of part of the problem. Cause like what he's saying is, hey, if you're part of an art that's like, if you love, if you like support this because it's good for the world, he's saying, no, I want to make stuff that is just profitable because people want to see it. Not because they think they're being good people. Right? And like, that's true in media too. Like there's a lot of great media. Like that's one of the things we try to do at Kirkid, which is make like kind of worthy content that we do the content, fuck. Make worthy shows and, and, and tell, and, and, and conversations that are worthwhile that people check out, not because they feel like it makes them good people, but because they just want to, you want to go see something entertaining. Like they want to go see what the movie you're making. Well, the massive thing in our company, in our company is just like make something undeniable. Entert, my problem sometimes is with movies that get made, trying to win awards. I say like, make a great movie that entertains people and then the awards come. Bridesmaid's got nominated for two Oscars. Who, I got people shitting in the sink and then a, you know, the stream. Like that is not, we're not, we're going to get an Oscar for this. So like entertain first and then, you know, then it comes or it becomes. Yeah. I think that's right. Thank you. Last question. And when you do the Pavarotti movie, you can cast me as Pavarotti. Oh my God, please. I don't look like him, but we can do a lot of makeup and make it look like it. This is my, my new obsession, by the way. Honestly, that's a good idea. That's just a good idea. Sometimes you hear a good idea. That's a good idea. So wait, you have Monet and new, you're doing, you're doing a standup tour. Yes. Bad knees. I just assume ever, once you're over 30, when you walk down the stairs, the last bit right before your foot touches the stair, that's luck. That's, that you don't really, you know what I mean? Like your knees gonna hurt a little bit on every stair. And that's just what it is to have knees, don't you think? I do think, I think, I just think as I'm old and, as I'm getting older, my body and my joints are just making sounds I did not know that they made. Cause they say the black don't correct but my joints absolutely do. And it's just like, I'm like, Jesus Christ. I'm like, sometimes getting off of my sofa, I'm not kidding. It sounds like there's an actor shooter in my home. First of all, I'm 63, fuck you guys. Paul, you have a, Paul, you have a head full of hair. Okay, Paul. Thank you. I wish. Yeah, the top of my head is like 75. Yeah, well, what do you, what do you like about getting older so far? In your 30s, younger than me and even still younger than Paul. I think I do like the wisdom I'm getting. And I also love the amount of I don't give a fuck I'm getting to like little things. I'm like, you know what, if you, if, if, if you don't like it, that's not my problem. Like what other thing can be done in my business? And that has the older I get, the more I believe that. And I just love being on the side of things. Yeah. In my twenties, I cared so much about everything. Yeah, totally. Everything bothered me. The worst thing in the world is guys who get older try to stay young. And it's like, what the fuck are you doing? You're not fooling anybody. Like you're, are you wearing a baseball cap and like shorts? Like you're like in your fifties, you look like a fucking idiot. Like put on a fucking suit and be an adult. Adult life is the greatest. Look, we've got martinis. Come on. Who wants to be a kid? I, I hate it being a kid. Cheers. And you know, I was going to wear a suit tonight, but I could have get up and cleaned this ball. Next time, next time I'll wear a suit and a price. You look great. Yeah, there's the challenge of, I agree with everything you just said, but then there's also the other side of it, which is remaining curious and having a plastic and supple mind. That's a challenge, which is not being young, but it's connected to being young. No, here's the thing. If you start to think old and you start to go like, I hate all this new stuff. I hate, like how many old people we know, like, oh, the music today is terrible. It's like, no, like, fuck off. The music today is good. It's just, you don't know it. Like it grow old gracefully. Be, don't try to be like, I'm hipster, but at the same time, like kind of go like, no, I'm everything that people are doing now is vital the way that would stuff up. The one I was coming up was vital. Don't be old, you know, don't be old in your brain. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up. Love or leave it is brought to you by Zbiotics. If there's a short bar way to wake up feeling fresh after drinks with friends, it's with pre-alcohol, Zbiotics pre-alcohol, probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut, it's build up of this byproduct, not dehydration, that's to blame for rough days after drinking. Pre-alcohol produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. Just remember to make pre-alcohol your first drink of the night, drink responsibly and you'll feel your best tomorrow. We love Zbiotics. Huge thanks. Love Zbiotics. Try never to have a drink without it. Yeah, it's always, we have been brought on the road in Australia. Sure did. It was a great, it was a boon. March is a marathon of social events it is. Well, maybe for some people. What's wrong with me? From the slopes to the bracket watch parties to Guinness Unst. 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Tune in wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube. So here's the deal that I'm striking because my fiance is younger than me and younger than Monet. Just to give you a sense. Definitely younger than me. And much younger than Paul. Oh man. Because I'm younger than Paul and Monet's younger than me. But I'm gonna try to remain curious and open, but I will just hand them my phone and just be like, I can't fix Instagram, can you just do my Instagram? And that's just gonna be the deal I make. There's no shame in that. There's no shame in that. That's great. And speaking of not having any shame, it's time for a special segment. We're calling, I don't care. I love it. I don't care. I love it. Here's how it works. We'll take turns defending the people places things and haircuts that we refuse to feel guilty about loving. A guilty pleasure as it were. First up, Paul. Yes. What's something that you don't care if people don't like that you like? I loved the 2024 campaign. With the minute that Biden dropped out, I'm not anti-Biden. I loved when Kamala came in and let me tell you why, because there was three months of this beautiful moment where our side was going USA, USA, which I think is the most, when the right does it, it's the most aggressive, jingoistic bullshit. I hate it. But when ours, I did it, I was like, we all love America. We all, for that three months, we all loved America. And then it went the shit. But I thought it was beautiful. I was so proud to be an American during that. Yeah, because it was like we had one Ayatollah and was very old. We got rid of that Ayatollah. And then we had a new generation of Ayatollah with all the same policies. I agree. I'm really sorry I said that. I have several martinis, but I agree with you. Nationalism is just patriotism for assholes. And it's nice to have real patriotism and we should bring it back and we should own patriotism because the flags are flags. They don't own the flags just because they put it on their back of trucks. You can make it ugly or you can make it. I agree with that. It's a really good point. Monet, what is something, what is something you don't care that you love that people don't love? Okay, I love selfie sticks. They had a moment and they were so useful. You know that thing where you're trying to take a picture in a group and they're like, my arm isn't long enough, can you do it? No bitch, I don't want to do it, okay? I don't want to have my arms over the whole group. A selfie stick takes out all the pressure for everyone. You put your little phone on the little stick, extend it. I had one that had a little automatic recliner on it. I was repressed my butt and go. And we take our picture. It was great. And then somewhere along the line we all got shamed for our selfie sticks. I had to burn mine like I burned my bra. And it was just the worst. So, and now people are ashamed to use selfie sticks. I think we should use them again. I think that's a really good point. I genuinely do, I haven't thought about it. I'm hearing this for the first time. You're right. And I'll tell you something else. I think the reason there was a backlash is cause girls like them. Are you saying? Yeah, yes. Is it misogyny? Yes, yes. The ugly head of misogyny pops up. It's head gets again. There you go. With the selfie sticks. Fucking selfie stick. Next time we have a woman on this show whenever that is, I'll ask. Someday. All right, listen. Here's my pitch. Blind dates, old fashioned style. Okay, you have two friends. You're like, you know what? You're at a lunch or a dinner or you're seeing an old friend. You're like, oh, they're single, they're single. I have a friend who's single. They're both very good looking or the same level of good looking. I think they'd be good for each other. No longer are we gonna say, here's who it is. Go look them up on Instagram. Here's who they are. Here's a picture that I have from my phone. No, you're gonna say to your friends, when are you free? We'll set you up. Bring a red fucking rose with you cause you're meeting a stranger. You're gonna have no information. All you'll know is that people that love you think it may be. And you will go through the old fashioned experience without the algorithm, without the pictures on the internet, learning about a person from square one. If you were meant to be, seeing the picture before wouldn't make it more likely. And if you're not meant to be, you had an interesting conversation. Wow. But I think we should bring the true blind blind date back. Bring it back. That's my pitch. That is our way to strike a blow against the machine. Okay. Thank you. Love it. You know what? And don't go for dinner on the first day. That's serious killer shit. Like that you're locking yourself into upwards of $65 and maybe an hour and a half with someone that you are not gonna enjoy. Go for coffee, go for an ice cream. That's max 15, 20 minutes and then you can leave and then decide what you want to do. So I'll concede that I was single in my 20s and then I was briefly single again in my 40s. But my move was, this is a drink. Do you mind if I order dinner? It's time for second thoughts. This is the part of the show where we kind of figure out if I made a mistake. All right. All right. First up, let's see. Oh, they don't know about that. Um, would you like another martini, John? Okay. The producers suggest that I should regret saying that the swastika was a quote, great design. I don't regret that. How could that go bad? In terms of pure, look, here's the thing. Here's the thing. In terms of earned media, right? Like the swastika, they never did a single political ad in the US. We all know it. Like they got that brand out there. They got it out there. And I will say it did belong to someone else. Like that was true. It did belong to another. And it was stolen and co-opted by these people. So honestly, that's the worst thing they ever did. Yeah. As you sniff your martini. Genuinely a little bit drunk. All right. It says here, quote, the shining's pretty good. I don't regret saying that. It is pretty good. Well, there you go. Let's see. Paul's intro was a mess. I don't regret it. It was kind of fun. We're going to leave it in. I like it. I like it. I didn't ask Monet for a little opera. Oh, I wanted to do that, but I didn't want to put you on the spot. Really? Yes. Okay. And I have. You need to stand for this or? No, so I'll do it today. I like sitting opera. Yeah. A queen likes to sit when she sings. There we go. Beautiful. Come on. Oh, thank you. I have a warm cup. I'm drinking. Only for Paul and John. Wow. And my final second thought, I took Paul's nice comment about Kamala and brought Ayatollah's into it. And that is our show. Thank you to Bob Figue and Monet Exchange. Check out Monet's. Stand up tour. Housemates is available. Now we'll see you next week at the UCB Theater. Next week at the UCB. There are 233 days until the midterms. Have a great night and have a great week. Yes. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love It or Leave It on YouTube for video content. And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad free Love It or Leave It and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber exclusive pods and more. Sign up at Crooked.com slash friends. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It's written and produced by me, John Love It. Kendra James is our executive producer. Bill McGrath is our producer. Halle Heifer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus is our senior staff writer and director. And we're going to be talking about the new series. Love It or Leave It is our producer. Halle Heifer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus is our senior staff writer and Jocelyn Coffman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre and Suba Argoal are our writers. Jordan Cantor is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Cologne is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sher Sher. Thanks to our designer, Sammy, could earn a raise for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Dilan Villanueva, Jay Banks, Milo Kim and Rachel Gieske for filming and editing video each week so that you can. Love It or Leave It is produced by Lee Eisenberg and our head of production is Matt DeGroot. And our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East. In moments like these, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and even easier to feel powerless. But we are neither. I'm Stacey Abrams and on my podcast, Assembly Required, I take on each executive action, legislative battle and breaking news moment by asking three questions. What's really happening? What can we do about it? And how do we keep going together? This is a space for clarity, strategy and hope rooted in action, not denial. New episodes of Assembly Required drop Tuesdays. Tune in wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube.