Kick your shoes on the floor, leave your worries at my door. Can we laugh for a while and make me smile? For the next few minutes, let's take a break from the craziness of our world. Let's make this place, this moment, a refuge where we feel safe to laugh, smile, listen to great music, and learn. Let's come together to discover forgotten simple ways to change our world in 15 seconds or less a day, and in doing so, remind each other of what it means to be human. Welcome to Make Me Smile. I'm Mist, your host. I'm a singer-songwriter and not a health professional. But like you, I want to be a part of something bigger and better. Let's build a family and a vision of the future that looks happier, more fulfilling, and more meaningful. Let's learn to smile again. I don't remember getting bored as a child. At least, that is not what I would call it. From the time I was only two, three years old, I was often left on my own for extended periods of time. For some of those years, I watched way too much TV, but that quickly evolved into learning to daydream. Or as I got a little older, wandering out into the small garden by our apartment and spending hours discovering and playing with bugs and plants, lost in my own imagination and world. That ability helped me immensely growing up. In my 20s, I found myself in a new country, living in a small basement apartment with few friends and bad health. That resulted in me spending many, many days and nights alone, but I didn't feel lonely. I would keep myself busy with mental games, arts and crafts, and eventually singing and playing the ukulele. I think that ability to not get bored considerably helped my mental health, especially during those difficult times. So it is with a little embarrassment that I admit a few years ago, I did start feeling bored at times. And when that happened, I found myself doing what almost all of us do these days, reaching for a device and tapping, swiping and scrolling. I didn't really give much thought to that until about 18 months ago. when I started becoming aware that I had somehow created an unconscious habit of reaching for my phone. And then I started wondering why I did this. And more importantly, how that action was affecting me. If you have been listening to me for a while, what I discovered was not only eye-opening, but scary. In this always-on, never-allowed-to-be-bored world we live in, we have lost control of our own thoughts. Instead, we are inundated with the thoughts from others and the algorithms that constantly feed us what the tech companies, media, and governments want us to see and learn. I'm not insinuating there is a malicious intent here. I don't know enough about their motivations and goals to comment on that. But what I do know is that the lack of boredom is costing us as a society and as individuals. And that cost is higher than we think. In episode 6 and 7, I talked in depth about the false promise of social media. At its most basic, social media promises us that we will feel connected with others. But it does a really lousy job of that. What it does a really good job at is releasing dopamine. The body releases dopamine when it anticipates we're about to get, see, or be a part of something good. In Hawaii this past week, there were tons of whales and everyone on the beaches would see the spouts of water, then stare intently at the ocean anticipating a breach or spy hop or dive. It was exhilarating, exciting, and afterwards you felt complete, whole, purposeful, connected. That's exactly what we hardly ever feel after spending hours on social media. When you see a whale spout, your body also releases the dopamine because it anticipates you are going to experience something wonderful. And you do. So after you have been watching for 10 minutes or 10 hours, you feel good because the dopamine expectation was fulfilled. With social media, we get the dopamine hit, but then the expectation that we're going to see something amazing hardly ever happens. Thus, we can spend hours tapping, scrolling, swiping, and come away feeling exhausted. and like we wasted our time, which we did because the expectation was not met. There was no real connection made, unlike with whale watching. This is where boredom comes in. People think of boredom in a negative connotation. Children are known to complain, I'm bored, to their parents, which means they want to be provided something to do that they want to do. Boredom hardly ever means there is nothing to do. It means that there is nothing we want to do. When we reach for our devices and spend an hour scrolling, does that mean we have nothing else that we could be doing? Cleaning? Shopping? Working on the house, taking the dog for a walk, doing homework? We scroll because we don't want to do those other things, so we say we are bored as a negative statement. So what if we changed the way we thought about boredom? My husband often comments that he would like to be almost bored. It occurs to me that what he wants is that feeling when you have nothing that is immediately pressing, so that you have time to take a moment and breathe. We want to be bored enough so that instead of rushing through our walk with the dog, we can enjoy it. Why? Because it feels better It is better Modern life is engineered so that we are always on the go In South Korea, they even coined a word for it. Pali Pali literally means fast, fast. As a culture, this is encouraged. Keep moving quickly and efficiently so that you and the nation can progress. Today, we're constantly on. Someone even created notification settings. Why? So we can be endless notified when an email arrives, when a text arrives, when a DM hits, when someone we follow posts something, when a friend is streaming live, when our favorite streaming program has released another episode. And all of those notifications have different settings and priorities. What did we do for over 5,000 years of recorded human history without all those notifications? In the past, we were not expected to be always on. We were expected to have downtime, family time, recreation. The life we lead now has a term frictionless stimulation. According to Rachel Drucker, this refers to high-intensity, instant digital dopamine rewards that require zero-effort anticipation or real-world engagement. In other words, the life most of us lead today, it is frictionless because it doesn't require any emotional investment. It is surface superficial. It is fake. Gone are the days when we could be alone with our own thoughts to figure out how we feel about something. Now we are told what to feel. Gone are the days when we were bored enough to think about what we really needed. Instead, today, we are told what we need. When our lives are constantly filled with endless notifications and information, we're not allowed to be with our own original thoughts, to be bored. And think about that for a moment. When we lose our original thoughts, we lose original music, art, stories, and inventions. Some people would shrug their shoulders and say, well, we have AI these days. True, but what is AI? Artificial intelligence. In other words, fake. AI can regurgitate music that sounds real. It can write stories that imitate originality. It can produce art. I'm using quotes on that word. It can do all those things because it was trained on human intelligence. Without that training, AI would not create any of those things and without boredom, humans would not have created the body of work to train AI. Are we really to the point where we want to stop using our amazing intellect and creativity? Invention is born from the human mind, not AI. Do we really want to outsource human imagination to algorithms? These days we consume more than we create. I think that is a mistake. I know we all like to consume. We love a delicious meal, entertainment, fashion, but those things are very temporary in nature. They may last a few minutes or a few months, but they eventually go away. When we create something that is our own, that something is ours forever. Think of that. People create monuments and works of music, art, and books that last thousands of years. We procreate, have children with the intent of giving life to a new being and also to leave something that will be a part of us. Creating things from our imagination or bodies is incredibly satisfying and provides us purpose Consuming may be fun, but creating makes us feel alive I say we should view being bored as an opportunity An opportunity to create There have been studies on the link between boredom and creativity And not surprisingly, feeling bored can lead us to use our brains and to enhance creativity. All of my songs come from downtime. If I'm too busy, my mind is not relaxed enough to hear the music that I know is in there. A few weeks ago, I was bored and was thinking about Karen Carpenter, the singer who passed away in 1983. I love her music and when I listen to her music, it makes me miss her as I never had the opportunity to see or hear her in person. Because I was bored and alone with my feelings, a song came out called Missing You is All I Can Do. I love this song as it incorporates many Carpenter's song titles. As you listen to it, see how many you can pick out. Close to you Every song that you sing Was a story A gift you gave to me I have you In my heart like everyone That felt you I need to be in love Yesterday was more It's a dream I wish I had It's gonna take some time to let go Your sweet, sweet smile Bowls in my mind Goodbye to love I won't last a day Raising eggs within my mind There's a kind of hush When I hear your name today Only yesterday I believed in one more time Missing you is all I can do Solid death is a game I know too well It made me who and what I am Superstar is the person that I'd see When I wanted to be free from me Love me for what I am Give me strength to walk away On top of the world I could see For all we know Give me the hope To fly away Rainy days and Mondays Made me love the rain Jambalaya and you made me want to dance again Touch me when we're dancing Made me fall in love Missing you is all I can do All you get from love is a love song We've only just begun Give me a dream, a dream, make believe This is your first time to be in love A song for you Rainy days among days made me love the rain There's a kind of hush when I hear your name today This masquerade, oh the story of my life Missing you is all I can do Missing you is all I can do How many Carpenter's song titles did you hear in that song? There were 25 in there. If I was never bored, I would never write songs. And writing songs is what I love most, so that would be really sad for me. I like this quote, Boredom isn't empty, it's space. I can't find who it is originally attributable to, but it is used frequently by people advocating us to stop pursuing a constantly on lifestyle. Boredom can be viewed as an empty space for us to fill. We can choose to fill it with negative things or positive. It is our space to do with what we want. But for me, I want to fill it with creativity, fantasy, and especially music as boredom is where my music originates from. Without boredom, I cannot allow myself to feel enough for the music to come out. It is only when I have moments of time that I have nothing pressing on my mind that I can feel the emotions start to bubble up and then those turn into notes and melodies. We see children do this. If we do not find something to occupy them, they will, as I did, find something inside their imagination. A box, a carpet of grass, a bunch of pieces of paper become imaginary worlds and battles and adventures. By taking away their opportunity to be bored, allowing them to be in front of a screen that constantly entertains and feeds them to consume everything it wants to give them, we rub them off one of the greatest gifts they have. their minds and their ability to think and create. If we don't foster that gift in our children, there will never be another Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci or Steve Jobs. We wouldn't have books or stories and science, music or dance. All of those things were created from minds that were not constantly preoccupied with never-ending news and entertainment. These days, there are people that are trying to do this in some pretty intense ways. I'm not so sure one has to go to this extent, but people are forcing themselves to be bored. A trending way to pass time on long flights is called raw dogging. This refers to taking long flights without devices. No scrolling, movies, or podcasts. Just simply being with yourself. That might sound harsh. I honestly don't know if I could do that, but its intent is well-meaning. Which is to be bored. To be with our own thoughts instead of someone else's. That is good. That is where imagination comes to life. That is where creativity and connection are born. There is something to be said about spending time with our own thoughts. I know for some, it can be scary to be with our own thoughts if those are dark or depressing. Perhaps that is why we choose to distract ourselves with other people's thoughts. If this is the case with us, I can't advise on what you should, but I do know that distracting ourselves due to negative thoughts only works temporarily. I've tried that. In my case, ignoring those dark thoughts made things much more difficult when they finally had to come out. Distraction can worsen our anxiety in the long run because distracting ourselves doesn't fix the underlying cause, and it also tends to cause procrastination, which increases our anxiety when those deadlines inevitably come. Spending time with our own thoughts doesn't necessarily mean just letting our mind go wherever it wants. It's kind of like walking a dog on a leash. The dog can choose where to go, but within limits. We can also encourage positive and uplifting thoughts in ourselves by intentionally thinking about things we are grateful for, things we love to do, animals or experiences that we enjoy. We can imagine ourselves in a better time with people we love. These mind escapes have been used by people in extreme situations to give themselves hope Being bored doesn't mean just sitting in negative thinking It means allowing ourselves to feel and to learn how and why we are where we are and where we want to be That is a good use of boredom My weekly 15-second challenge is perfect for us to experience some tidbits of boredom. Let's try that right now. For 15 seconds, let's just be. But let's make sure it's somewhere we want to be. I'm going to help you out with the scene, then you take it from there. You are sitting in your fairy chair looking at something or someone you love. It is sunset and everything is still. Okay, I'm back. I saw our new puppy and our old already passed away puppy playing together. They were both doing their bunny hops. They looked very happy. I was asking myself why I saw a scene that could never happen. I guess I just thought they would really love each other if they had a chance to meet. and I really miss our old dog, Dolce. You have heard about my kindness cube by now. It is a six-sided paper cube that is delivered to you on a donation basis on my website. On each side is a reminder of something we can do that takes 15 seconds or less. Smile, say a kind word, remind someone you love them, act silly and be grateful. What I don't mention often is what comes with the kindness cube. There are three removable stickers that you can put on your phone or anywhere that you need a reminder. They simply have 15 on it. 15 stands for 15 seconds. It is meant to be a reminder that before you touch that app or social media feed, Wait 15 seconds and think of something you are grateful for. Doing that releases dopamine and makes you feel connected to the world around you. Those 15 seconds can change the way we handle boredom. Imagine if we all spent just a little time each day not being on. our children, our families, our communities, our world. What would that look like? Do you think that would be a good thing? I can't find anything negative about that idea. Not being on 24-7 was how we lived for thousands of years. It was when families and communities were stronger and when principles and relationships mattered. Humans were meant to be inquisitive, to create and imagine. We have a brain that is capable of the most amazing things. Because of it, we have flown to the moon and have found subatomic particles that are the building blocks of the universe. Men, women, and children have written music that have moved millions and created pieces of art that through every generation tells a different story. Those stories have been carried down through the generations, through storytellers, books, plays, and movies that keep us entertained and imagining worlds that have long passed as well as those that are to come. And in those worlds that still await us, I hope with all my heart that we still have those things that make us special. I hope we explore endless adventures, laugh and play with each other, and learn to love who and what we are, a global human family that is connected and creative. And that all starts with just a little bit of boredom. I really hope you enjoyed this episode of Make Me Smile With Me, your host, Mist. I truly look forward to spending time with you next week. You can reach out to me with your comments on social media accounts. At the top of my Facebook or Instagram, you will find a post on this podcast. You can comment right there or you may email me at mist at mistthesinger.com. I would really appreciate your reviews and comments on all platforms. Please join me next week on Make Me Smile with Mist. You can subscribe on whatever platform you are using or learn more on my website, mistthesinger.com. Slash podcast. Today is a good day to change your world in 15 seconds. We have much to be grateful for. Remember, I never want you to feel overwhelmed by being asked to do things you just cannot do. We are all imperfect and have our own issues and challenges. Always do what you can to the best of your ability. It is not a comparison or competition. Like you, I'm someone who struggles and learns and grows. So please do not take this podcast as a substitute for seeking professional help. And if you are having dark thoughts right now that you can't control, please reach out to 911 or 988, the Suicide Prevention Hotline. The ideas we talk about here are about changing the way we live our lives and it should always be positive and fun. Sometimes a bit hard if we're out of the habit, but worthwhile if we put in the effort. The only failure is giving up. Please don't ever give up and please have a good week and always remember to smile. I hope you enjoyed the music and the podcast today. You can find a lot more of my original music on any streaming platform or my music videos on YouTube. You can find me by simply searching for Mist with Two Eyes. The Make Me Smile podcast is a Pantheon Media and Ephemeral Music production hosted by Me, Mist with Two Eyes. Written and recorded by Mist and Andres Wong. Produced and engineered by Jerry Danielson. Executive produced by Andres Wong, David Young, Christian Swain and Peter Ferrioli. All songs and music by me again Thank you for listening to Make Me Smile with Myst
