#239 - SwaggerSouls reached UNC status (he turned 38)

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We got McNasty. Love your dead hat. It looks really fashionable. We got the do. Hello. And we have myself Eric Vivian Matthews, otherwise known as Swagger Souls. Freshly 38 years old. Just turned 38. Happy birthday, Swags. Oh, I remember us getting bushy year after year. I actually plet them last night. Thank you for noticing. Again, again, Swags. Still look bushy as they did. I wanted to, I wanted to post a photo of you and I for your birthday to be like, is my friend Swagger Souls? He turned 38. He's my old man. He's my old man. But you know, I just, it just, it's not, it just feels weird posting like, intimate photo of a one-on-one friendship with a guy who's just a steel helmet. Also, it's really hard to Photoshop out the cane that he uses all the time. It's nice. When you get a little older, you know, you kind of wear on your face. Luckily, you know, wearing this garment with the chainmail in the balaclava doesn't reveal all of my wrinkles at once. Oh, you should see how bad it is with no. He has an eight foot white beard underneath that balaclava. I look like a rung out rag, a rung out cum rag even, because I'm also a little ashy, a little crusty as well. You look like a Santa and one of the elves had a baby. Exactly. My face basically looks like it's been Chinese foot bound for many years. Yeah. Have you ever seen that clip of the woman that has like a butthole as a mouth? I can't remember where it's from. Talk what? She has like a brain. You talk about like the neck or the centipede. No, it's like a butthole mouth. You're not talking about the stoma? You're talking about... Is this real? Woman butthole mouth. I can't remember where it's from. Is it her actual mouth? Dude, maybe you don't see it. Is it her actual butthole? I didn't Google it, but it would just show me porn. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's not real. No, it's not real. It's from a show. Oh, dude, I have a SpongeBob butthole. There you go. That's what's... Ew. That's a swagger's mouth. Why she also looks like she has dowses and ball sack chin butthole hairy mouth. What the fuck is that? I think she eats from her ass too, I'm pretty sure. Editor, can we please put this up on the screen next to McNamese? Can we? Yeah, I don't know. I think in this context, it would be okay. He looks like a man with a butthole. It does? It just... I think it's the ring of hair. Like, I think the ring of hair around the mouth is what... It's why you can't have facial hair? A girl can't have facial hair? You know what? Yeah, I'm wrong. Dude, you know what that reminds me of? I don't know why that just reminded me. You guys ever seen the fucking Mindverse Girl Scouts thumbnail? What? Oh, no. Dude, I gotta show you the worst thumbnail that has ever been uploaded to YouTube. It was a cooking channel. Oh, god, it's so... I think I might... I think I might know. Dude, look at this image. Editor can put it on screen. Look at this thumbnail dog. Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh. That's not your wise man, too. I watch him a lot. That's fucked. Yeah, dude, that is the funniest fucking thumbnail. He made a Girl Scout cookie at home for the audio listeners. The famous Samoa. We all know what the Samoa is. It looks like a donut. Looks like a donut. It is nice. It's got caramel. It's got toasted coconut shreddings. It's got some chocolate drizzle, some fudge drizzle. That's poop. And this guy decided to make his own. And he, in this thumbnail, has his Samoa, which is about to place the diameter, it is much larger. Much gaping Samoans. And next to a Girl Scout Samoa, which is... Tithe. Far smaller and tighter. Yes. Good thumbnail. Is that still a thumbnail to that video? Yes, I just found the video. But it's still the thumbnail. It only has one million views somehow. I don't know how that didn't go triple platinum because that's actually like relatively low for him. This guy pulls insane views. Wow. You're too probably sure I would note no. No, no. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, no. Anyway, Girl's Buttles aside, how was your birthday swag? Not too bad. Not too bad. Getting older, you know, makes me realize they do need more fiber in my diet. So my ass is dilated as his Samoa. So that's better. He's going to be doing a lot of overnight oats. And so I know I'm getting old. Oh, W. I'm eating overnight oats like Joe Biden. I'm having a bunch of chia seeds. Joe Biden has overnight oats? I feel like that would kill him. Yeah, dude. Anyone old enough needs to get all the demons out of their intestines. You know, they're incubating them. I feel like Joe Biden is a straight tube from mouth to bottle. I don't know. I feel like I don't know. He's filled with plaque on the inside. Yeah, it's just like the hollow earth theory. It just like goes straight through. He's going to drain. But yeah, being old is nice. My birthday wish, which was fulfilled, was to go on a fishing charter under the Bay in Melbourne. Saw that. Looked like a blast. Went fishing, which was cool, kind of mackerel and a bunch of flathead. Took home and skinned the motherfucker and scaled the fucker and then ate it. It was good. Damn. Oh, yeah. Fresh as hell. Fresh as hell. It's like fish. Yeah. Oh, you did that in your house? I do that in my house. You got to do it like in the garage or something. I don't know if you have a garage, but you got to do it like outside. In my kitchen sink. Yeah, no, that's brutal. Your house is going to smell like doo-doo shits. For a little bit, it's okay. Yeah. Just light a few candles. Leave a window open. Just hot bounce it. Just hot bounce it a little bit. Make it smell like fish and weed. That is like a nightmare combination. Like a college sorority dorm filled with stone. Fish and weed. Yeah, that's not a good combo. I don't fuck with that at all. Yeah, so that was fun. Good little thing. Doing a little bit of a dinner this weekend and then a party at mine, which should be pretty fun. Nice. Yeah, it's weird. Pushing 40. Pushing 40, eh? This is an old man. He's an old man. It's weird. You know, you wouldn't quite know it until you see him and then you're like, oh, yeah, that guy. You go, who is this sexy guy? That guy's a sage. It's the gray stripe in the hair. It's the gray stripe. Do you actually have any gray hair? Yeah, dude. I dye it most of the time, but yeah, it comes in gray. No way. You allow me to line. Do either do or McNasty. Do either of you guys have gray hair? Dude, I feel like you don't. I feel like your hair is like, no. I think I have like a gray shell one that will pop in sometimes. You know why, remother fucker, a little spring. Yeah. You're gonna pluck. Like a steel wool. He's kind of like, I basically look like a child. So yeah, you I was gonna say, you I was gonna ask. You have a very year for losing. You didn't eat like a child. I actually look like a kid. Keeps you youthful. Eat like a child. Like it's just fucking Play-Doh and like Lunchables. Uh-huh. That's the play-doh. It's glue. It's your fingernails and some chicken. And some chicken. Gotta get the protein. And some nuggets. Fuck dude. I'm not gonna lie. I actually do still be making. The thing is, chicken nuggets are a universal food. It does not matter if you are bulking, if you don't care about dieting, or if you are cutting. You can just eat chicken nuggets on all of these circumstances. It's just the amount of chicken nuggets and what kind of sauce you have with them. I know. We'll be seeing that. Also, it's like the real good and then those other nuggets too. You can get like. The ones from Costco are insane. I think I eat like 17 of them and it's like 600 calories. I can really do those too. Put it in perspective, it's really, you know, chicken nuggets are so good that you can just feed them to chickens and with any question they'll eat it, they'll gobble it right up. Chickens will eat fucking, dude. Chickens and pigs will eat anything. Pigs are crazy. Those motherfuckers will eat hair, teeth, bone, skin, everything. They're psychos. Yeah, waste not want them. Dude. Well, if you fall over in a pig pen, you're like that. McNasty, that's the second time you've done that. Yeah, if you have a hard of talking to pig pen, it's no good. That's the second time you've done that with your mustache and I feel like you're just trying to get our actual opinion of it before you start going outside with it. Posh maxing? And my answer is no. It's not a God. For young listeners, McNasty's twirled his mustache into a sort of handlebar. All right, hold on. Let me set the scene of what McNasty looks like right now. Yeah, he's getting several more general. You're in. No, no, there's an updated version. You're in Austin, Texas. All right, you're in a hip town. You're walking down the street. You see a place you go, hmm, they sell burgers. Let me check it out inside. You look at the menu, $38 cheeseburger. The guy behind the counter. Guy behind the counter, red flannel on. You look up. Boom. That's his mustache and beard right now. No domestic beer on tap. All imported. Weird fucking IPAs. We got fucking six taps from the brewery next door. Backflip beer. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you look like right now. You look like a burger guy. I can kind of do a little bit of a cruel. I can't get it to stay though. You can't eat the wax, the mustache wax. You're gonna lick your fingers, man. I don't want you to lick your fingers. Eat your hands. Man. Anywho. Okay. Anywho. I thought he was gonna try it and then he just sat there rubbing his shit. He don't love this podcast. I just watched him stroke it for a second. Oh, I thought he was gonna do something. Huh? Is it right? Or if one case editor will trim the dead air? No, I think he should leave it. I think we should have intermittent silence. It's two minutes of watching McNasty's show, especially. I think we should have like intermittent silence on our podcast where people have to sit and think about why they're making the decision that they're making to listen to us talk for an hour. 50 weeks or some shit. You know what's crazy too is like at the end of the year during like the Spotify rap thing, we'll get like a million tweets of people being like, oh, we fucking, I listened to like 300 hours of your podcast this year. Like I re-listen to multiple episodes and yada yada and stuff. And it's like, if you would have put that 300 hours into literally like anything else, like you could know, yeah, you could be a savant at an instrument. You could know a completely different language by now. You could have developed a fucking video game in that time. You could have done so many things. Instead they lost intelligence. Instead you became... There is some value though. There's a lot of crossover that people listen to the podcast while they're doing other things. While doing things, yeah. While they crochet, while they're like drinking, while they're like growing up, while they're driving, while they're sleeping. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I would hope anyway. I would hope anyway. That you know, a lot of surgeons, a lot of doctors and engineers. I would really like to talk to them. A lot of pilots. Nobody that every week, they get excited for the podcast. They throw it up on YouTube and just go. Yeah, probably. We definitely do. For now, we're just rocking into it. More attention on Spotify. That would be crazy. Maybe they do like it. You never... There's gotta be one guy, you watching right now. Give yourself a poem of the day. Hey, Josh Davis. We're talking to you. Josh what? Josh what Davis? Josh what Davis? Josh what? Yep. Dude. Wake up. So have you guys, I just noticed this. I don't know when this started, but have you guys noticed the abundant amount of comments asking for us to have John on and not like the bio? Yes. It's like John. There's some guy, some guy from our comment section named John. Well, it's like, you're gonna want him to show. Cause I don't know who the fuck. I don't know who John it is. There's like isn't well because it's a meme now Exciting well because it's a meme 20 people named John will be like I'm ready for the podcast and it's like We can do it John oh my god We can do it with guys named Jack and it'll be a jack-off The goo the Jonathan we're gonna you John you leave come on down to Jonathan and John off All right, let's do it. I legitimately I would love to run through at least 20 John's Bonnie blues new bygangs I Would let John's run a train on me 20 if we had like 20 to maybe 27 or 28 John's John be our Spectrum It would be cool it would be cool Then we could ask a series of John related questions or you were are you a John a thon or John a fan? Do you have an H? Pass that question. Yeah, I wonder how many John Mr. Poor what is your what is okay? Hold on real quick. What is everyone's favorite John on three ready one? Two three John Cryo's I would our buckle John or buckle from the families Garfield comics made by Jim Davis I don't know. Well. I know what all those things minus the John are is that the guy is that the John or buckle the owner Garfield listen. He's a side piece. I don't know I'm there for he's a side piece. He's integral to the story This guy's never read a Garfield comic. I've read every single comic Most of the shit I know Most of the stuff I know about Garfield has come from the show I think you should leave because there's a weird amount of Garfell or I don't know why The one episode specifically the lady lives in Jim Davis's yeah There's a reason for that actually there is a there is a YouTube video It's called like July 27th 19 something or other where there is a guy who analyzes a Garfield comic strip for a straight hour and His whole channel is just fucking shit posting about Garfield It's a real actual artistic. Have you do you know what I'm talking about he can stretch you Do you know what I'm talking about swagger? Yeah, it's my second channel Okay, fuck. I'm a big fan of you this dude Actually right for I think you should leave and he's obsessed Yeah, how do you do? How does that career path? From hour-long YouTube dissections on funny Garfield episode to writing for I think you should leave Let me be a testament Autism is a superpower and there's a place for everybody in you can monetize autism you sure can Look at what's behind me. He's a go. They might have thrown you in a loony bin. I got a wall of retardation behind me pure autism Yeah, you do Yeah, it's crazy the only reason Oh my god, I want to hear what dude's gotta say. Sorry go ahead shit I was gonna say the only reason I know that exists like the pipeline to that knowledge is fucking retarded because There is a zombies tower map that plays the Garfield dissection audio in the background for an hour on loop That that I played and I was like what the fuck is this and so I found it on YouTube and then I started watching I think you should leave and I knew he wrote for it. I saw the fucking Garfield episode like this guy This is insane Funny what a way backwards you went backwards through the Bottom of the iceberg Hey, bro Doug up. I've never seen someone do that's crazy Yeah, yeah, it's like fuck is this shit this guy's still talking about Garfield. I'm shooting zombies That is so fucking wait. Wait. Did you is there another Garfield one? Okay, there's there's it's no the tower is just like a normal ass zombies map These are these modded zombies map. Yeah. Yeah You've never done a modded map with us. Have you swags? I never Much more fun than the OG zombies Lockups three modded zombies is a blast. Oh, that's such a funny Come city as an all-time. There's just the meet the walls are like lined with memes everywhere So you're just like you kind of forget so you'll lock in and killing Like you'll lock in and kill zombies and you'll kind of look to your left And then it's just like you'll just see like a shitpost of a world map and it said country music Which one retard and you just like giggle to yourself while just like shootings. It's so fun I love come city come city is the best people people put their whole ass and balls on some of those maps and it is appreciated Oh my god, he's got the word 300 cases for those that were wondering The the the man who is to wait Whole video why is this video is this guy's videos from almost two decades ago. That's insane. Yep. Yep Yeah, and it's almost all of them are about Garfield He goes by the name of lasagna Kent at lasagna Kent on YouTube if anyone is interested in This is horrific. This is I have apparently watched the entire 07 27 1978 video no shit And that's what I'm talking about and has the full red bar on this to what no, I never What I've never seen it, but the bar is there It's not part of them. No It's full for me too, there's no way I've ever watched this wait, it's full for me It's not full for me, and I've watched it like three times. I'm gonna be part of the thumbnail. It's not it's not Sometimes no way I've sat there and watched this whole thing Sounds like you need to watch it Like completely forget this is This is lucky freaking me out It's actually insane that I get to bring this up because this is such a niche random ass thing that I found once like Do we've ever talked about this I I'm early I Dude, I have been an early investor to three different Instagram reels that have popped off lately and I feel Like the fucking I feel like the Thomas Edison of reels Oh, yeah, you know where I I'm not the first to find it, but I'm like I'm taking the fucking claim for it You get the credit you take all the credit for it. I found The fucking oh gee original Franklin will show up to defend his home I found that shit like with like 200 likes on it ready to go and then I found a page the Franklin the Franklin Turtle name no the Franklin from GTA it where it's like If you keep shooting his house Franklin will eventually show up to defend his home And it does that over like a bunch of different scenarios. Yeah, but the other day probably actually say the other day it was probably like Too different day maybe like a month maybe two at most I found a a death place Instagram and so deaf people do this thing where I Will use ASL, but they will use their mouth to like Though I Sign language, but they will use words to like emphasize certain movements to like you know be like And they make noises like that and I found this ladies Instagram And she seems so sweet and she's trying to teach people ASL But she doesn't mute the audio and she will be showing like ten signs at once so you'll have like All layered over each other at once Absolute fucking you're right for showing signs and it is the funniest shit I have ever seen in my life and I finally saw one pop off and everyone I was so worried the comments We're gonna be mean but all the comments were like yeah, talk yo shit like Like Do I need to make the sounds as well and then a couple of them were like Bro, this is this is a kind of shit idea in the hallway at 8 a.m. And the teacher told me not to laugh like Dude, oh, there's so fucking funny. I next time one comes up. I'm gonna send it to you guys But yeah, they I was an early investor and then Saw just an Indian dude thirst trapping lately and those have been popping off He's been he has like a tractor and he posts like thirst trap edits I'm so driving around the tractor and there's always like one or two likes and I'm just like this Skinny and dirty It's a thirst trap because he's thirsty and he doesn't have anything Oh You can't drink If he's thirsty and having a thirst trap you should go to gamer subs dot gg and get some gamers So I'm gonna lead his thirst You could get so you can use code goons get them results goons for 10% off and get some Grand pie or grandmise ashes or maybe some crusader aid. Oh Dude, I'm not gonna lie Dude, I opened up Instagram and She was the very first one Things about people who sign for like deaf people or people who are like a Cardi concert and she's talking about Playboy Cardi concert would be insane They're just they're just they're just dick suck in and fucking and and they just have to sign it They just have to go Can you imagine having to be like the signer for like Kim Jong-un declaring war and like threatening to nuke every country like having to sign That and you're just like panic fuck it throwing up gang signs like Oh ASL like Translation for a ramp country, but you know like a white translator and every time the ever comes up You have to like point to a black translator who doesn't get the black Sign the n-word if you're white you you Hmm. Oh, okay. We should let's get We should we should find a black representative to have in the podcast to answer these questions to a black representative Yeah, you find like like like a diplomat from the black community and have them come at so black person one of the black Yeah, who can speak for all of them as a monolithic group of people Obama I Can do that. What is that noise? Oh It sounds it sounds like Elden ring ambience in a dungeon It's so fucking funny. Oh, it's so bad now all of them are like that by the way I would It's so funny dude. Yeah, I early investor It's that's gonna bang that's that note. I think I would rather be deaf than be Blunt oh absolutely dude one of my one of my best friends was deaf and he So like if he was somewhere No, we fucking died. Oh, oh What do you think you're the car coming? Oh? probably not Yeah, oh my god Damn we go for two we were two for two on that Yeah, he didn't beat the he didn't beat the deaf person stare type of not hearing the car coming he did not We were like hanging out somewhere And somebody was just genuinely annoying him like he'd only wear one hearing aid first of all because he did not want to Like he found it too overstimulating like listening to fucking everybody hated Imagine it would be crazy Yeah, so he was like basically fully deaf if he took him out like you could have you could literally scream in his ear He wouldn't hear shit and his whole family's deaf. So nobody in the house talks at all. Oh, wow, which is crazy but Yeah, so he he used to literally like if we were You know hanging out somewhere like a party or something and he was not enjoying a conversation He had with someone he would literally just take his hearing aid out and just stare You Choose for conversation to be over being deaf Literally muted IRL he's literally just muted only shit being deaf with modern technology is a buff It's not a super power. Yeah until there's cars and then until until yeah I'm actually really story Yeah Honestly, that is so fucking funny that it was like literally back to back to for two Yeah, it's pretty pretty ridiculous. Oh Yeah, no, I would absolutely rather be deaf than blind blind sounds like a Horrible I wouldn't be able to do my job. I would kind of be able to do my job if I were deaf I feel like I'd remember how to talk kind of we're like a while say that well you can like You're just on the mic I mean unless you're completely deaf like you can still talk It's just when you're fully deaf you just like you don't know words because there's no reason no words, but you Yeah, the way that I play games I might as well not have eyeballs anyway, so if it's it comes down to my job Take my eyes, dude Musician alright, dude Yeah, you're weirdly good at zombies the thank you baby the the day today The day Thanks sugar go ahead no the day the day Day Day-to-day I Don't even care anymore. Fuck it. Take my eyes I don't even give a shit What they don't know is he's actually just busy playing RuneScape. Let's just zip man say your sentence You Stupid fucking baby trying to say data for the first time I Do data day-to-day Day-to-day shit would suck being blind But I think that's it. I wouldn't want to lose my ears for music. It wasn't even profound you motherfuckers That is true. I Always think about like you're like if I was hanging my arm out the car and a car hitting just like my whole hand up Like I'm like fuck I just can't even play guitar no more like it just all of you know my entirety Two decades of playing guitar just wiped out of Existence because you're always just doing what you think and there's plenty of ways that humans are able to like overcome adversity Even if you even if you got into like a horrible like car accident God forbid knock on wood You that doesn't happen you horrible horrible awful like Debilitating can't go back. We should never happen car accident in the in the near future probably in the near future What are you doing here? What are you doing here? So I that happened and you got into a horrible oddly specific car accident And probably down two and a half weeks Sorry to hear about your accident into an hour parallel Tweet about Israel or something like why are you predicting my future accident? You killed yourself in three weeks from tomorrow horrible horrible tragedy would occur you would be paralyzed from neck down But you could always hit narrow link and they just be able to play with your mind play games and do shit with your mind Pretty cool I go small when you can go grand meet the new voxel grandland Griffin Striking alloys sleek black roof heated front seats and 10 inch touchscreen Everything you need for life on the move grand on style grand on tech grand on value and during the voxel sales event Get a grant off the new grand land Griffin or any other new voxel on top of all other office search Foxel car offers offered to private individuals One thousand pounds including the AT saving on new car orders between 15 to 31st of May must be registered by 30 to June 20 28 in plus season C supply Oh Have you seen that new shit? We're like people are fully paralyzed to get the narrow link chip I mean Stephen Hawking did that he got to go hang out with Epstein. He was having a good time No, I mean serious have you guys seen like the new narrow link stuff We're like fully quadriplegic people get a brain chip installed And then they can like play civ sex and they can like play counter strike with their brain Dude, if I got fucking killed by a guy on counter strike who literally cannot wipe his own ass I think I'd fucking kill myself is that It's like having macros it is kind of like it is kind of cheating because the latency between your brain and what's happening Guys, I have a fucking bot on my team and it's just some guy who's a crumpled up in his chair like it's just like They call it telepathy like this what they call the program is They literally you're using their brain to control a cursor and it's weird It's like connecting to the part of your brain that would like make your arms and shit move Have you ever seen when people get amputee and and they they get the special surgery where They they keep a sack like on their arm. It's a sack of skin and nerves like they don't remove the nerves They keep the nerves intact so that way when you get a prosthesis you could put like electrical like Because you still have all of the if I lost my arm Even the even the muscles up in the top of my arm by my shoulder Even for a moving fingers still fire. Yeah, so if I had all those nerves intact I can just put on a prosthetic arm and have you know, basically mimics all of my motion through Then but it's the same shit with the you know With the with the Neuralink telepathy. They're like reading. They're like moving their hand right They're moving their hand left. They like put their hand in a fist to Like click but obviously they're not doing it, but they're thinking about doing it and that's what what moves the thing It looks fire. Yeah, I mean that makes sense. That's just yeah So don't worry in the next two and a half weeks that like there's a saving grace. You don't have to worry What are you doing right now, I don't like camera keeps going focus. I think it's my favorite to leave Oh Did I did I shake the water bottle of pure agony? Me when black flashes the water bottle of pain I Got silent for more than one second so I had to start Why does that why does that stress you out so much? Why do you not like any day? It's like I need to fill in this dead air with something so you think the viewers rather than us taking a moment You were yeah, I was on like NPR definitely not To come up with like you would do right on NPR go here and thought you think the viewers would rather you're Maybe to to come up with some sort of conversation we can do it hold on hold on let's let's just try to practice Five seconds of silence. Okay ready sit in this for a minute. All right. Okay. Hold on three two one This moment of silence is brought to you by game Recepts the most delicious energy drink that you can put in your body go to gamers up that For 10% off Chocolate milk Out of my septic tank No matter no matter what you put in in the game resets why food comfort will always taste delicious So go to the end of the fish organelles that he caught Shit green maybe all right In your cup right now, it's a protein shake. Oh, okay. All right I'll do do from an act dude And does that not like the way get on your mask a little bit and then your mask smells like fucking way to do Yes Wash it the last two weeks and it's been smelling like a make sure we spit and Joints I smell like a 10 pack of those Fine point dude, I Left so the last time I drove my I put my BMW away for the winter to get snowing Here so I Do that in the I do that in the fall and the last time I drove it was was on my way home from the gym and I didn't realize I left a cup of EAAs and a Way protein shake in the cup holders. I guess I was thinking that I could probably like oh I'll just grab those when I actually go to put the car on like the battery tender and stuff whatever and I guess I just Never did it and I got in it the other day To just drive it cuz it was nice out and it legit smelled like there's dead animals in there I opened the like little bottle the way thing no Cuz I wanted to see what was in it What caused that smell you took it out of the corner for yeah Oh, no, I open it in the kitchen even worse I did what you did with the fish is with the big Okay, you guys are being real autistic and it's really freaking me out right now Really Just seeing helicopter Joy kind stick Driver fucking driver. Yeah minds from the switch to yeah, it looks like a box cutter Oh Yeah, I opened it dude it literally had a layer like a hard layer of this like Fungus emold and I turned it over and it literally slid down the side and when I lay in my sink It sounded like I cracked an egg and dropped the whole egg Oh It's smell like so fucking bad dude, you know what's crazy though the ea is ten times worse I could dude I literally felt like I had that yeah I felt like I had that smell stuck in my nose for like a fucking week. It was disgusting It didn't like look super moldy. What's up? What is an ea? It's like BCA's but slightly Oh BCA is in like a race crispy treat no Branch chain amino acids but yeah, so they're they're slightly better whatever there's just slightly better Virgin protein it was a drink. It's a drink It's it's a little drink a little citrulline and yeah, hold on shit That was the worst smell I have ever smelled in my I would literally rather kill a raccoon Leave it in a baking sun for three days and then just put it on my pillow and sleep on it I'd rather do that than smell this again. It was the worst fucking thing in the world It reminds me of when I left a coffee cup a cappuccino cup in like one of the paper cups in in like the side Couple there in my Tesla like in the door frame for yeah Probably four or five months when I was back home and then I would bake you got inside of it like look down And I was like what is that I didn't I was like I don't remember having a blue cup like a green cup And I picked it up and immediately disintegrated the entire paper cup The entire paper cup was completely turned to mold It was horrible had a fucking completely Like you know clean it out with with rubbing alcohol and shit make sure it was good, but yeah was disgusting Man something died in my my floors Did you get that No, I actually never did anything because I went out of town for a week and I say He'll fucking decompose and he did he doesn't smell anymore A bunch of good dirt under your hands So what the solution was just wait for the fucking thing to ride pretty much I'm gonna go out of town. So I like the way you operate do you're between your mattress and now this Dude your house is gotta smell like Shit Actually it well when I was leaving to go out of town it went from like you know dead shit decaying shit Kind of smells like natural gas is how I would describe it like it when it first starts decaying Like a sulfur and whatever Like It it reached well my the reason I found out ahead it was like I don't have gas at my house But I smelled gas I was like oh shit something died Something died in my house Then it after like a day or so it reached the like the phase of something decaying where it smells sweet I was like so bad. That's ain't so bad. So I just left. Oh, that's the worst The sweet smell of death. Yeah, that's like when you're like meat goes bad Like if you keep pork in the fridge slightly too long and you open the package and it smells sweet It's like the work like it sounds like a good thing, but it is the worst version of sweet It is like just disgusting. It's actually pretty bad. I Didn't actually like it. It's better than the gas smell though that phase is better But you know there's something poopy smell something that just crawled up and there's hooker meat in my floors. That's going bad unfortunately I mean, you know you could technically like Keep meat on your like countertop Safely for years if you if you prep it properly if you're like So if you like good shit, no not even if you like take raw meat like you can take a piece of raw steak and the game we switch labor you like Irradiated so it is just free of bacteria or something along those lines Whatever you can do it fully get rid of bacteria and then you vacuum seal it you can leave a steak like out for like years and years And nothing will happen to it the only that what eventually does happen to it though Is it'll lose it's like texture and it's because of fucking quantum physics because of quantum tunneling your steak will eventually erode That is the old that is what will happen to it before bacteria will get to it if you have a vacuum sealed me Why is it turned to mush? It is Far beyond my Mathematical comprehension of why it happens I swear to God those physicists just make sure I I have to learn about it We're doing a video of a bunch of random fucking like nonsense like that So I will have to eventually be able to explain why that works and why quantum tunneling is the only thing that would cause your meat to like in theory Go go off if it's but yeah, if you have a piece of like steak pork whatever it is You have it completely devoid of bacteria you irradiate it or whatever you want to do to remove that bacteria There is none and then you vacuum seal the fuck out of it It will sit on your counter for years and not get like moldy or gross or anything else One of my favorite quantum physics things was that like you can just keep slapping the desk or slapping a wall and there's just a The smallest possibility like one and one trillion the possibility that your atoms and the atoms of the thing That you're trying to have will fill will line up and phase through each other. Yeah Probably never happened in Never never never history and there was another one where it's like you could fall asleep and then all of a sudden your atoms can Just teleport together somewhere on Jupiter and it's like a real thing that people can do math to find out the probability of this happening It's just that the number is extremely extremely good quantum physics is genuinely one of the most incomprehensible things like I can't even pretend to understand like 1% like a regular person of like average intelligence can genuinely learn a lot about space and standard physics and our brain and So many complex things quantum physics you genuinely cannot be a normal human being and understand a lot of it Beyond a standard person's comprehension. It is so fucking insane We should get a quantum physicist on the show After we get 27 to 28 Jonathan's on the show and okay, yeah their lives and all that maybe one of them maybe one of those John's or I did I did have to hire a higher Physicist to fact check a video for me, so maybe I can see if they know any All right About about getting 20 to 27 I think it'd be funny I think if I don't know I don't know I think we just throw to general John invite now many you know however many John show up I think 27 or 28 we probably be too many But I think that would be funny We only talked to 20, but we have a discord of like a thousand John's way We have to like submit like and then but see see we could really have to find the coolest John's end of the bunch We could get a lot of business from this though because we could not only the bullet podcast do well Because who doesn't want to hear a hundred John's talk, but we can make them have to send ID verification For them actually being named John legally speaking and then what we could do is we could sell That information to data brokers Yeah, we will probably make now you're thinking we should have announced that before No, they don't mind That is gonna come with the Document they'll have to sign Job is from all liability selling their data to the Chinese Indian and the Uzbekistanis We can just hand with the mm-hmm didn't do that. No, you can do No Roll attention purposes, this is a joke for entertainment Jury You know, you know what that conversation got me thinking about of the leaving stuff in your car I've had a french fry. I bought my car in in August of 2023 my current my current daily driver well and soup Ethan and a bunch of the other Texas guys came down Like a week after I bought that car and we drove up to Toronto and we stopped at McDonald's Ethan and soup got French fries and there's one French fry that Ethan dropped and I found it like a week after they left I found it in the back seat when I was cleaning out the car and I put it in the little cup holder and It is still there to this day and it does not look any worse for wear. It still looks like Donald's French fry. Yeah I can literally go outside take a picture of it right now It looks the exact same as when he dropped it. It's all the oil it replaces all the all the you replace all the moisture with oil And the shit won't degrade. Yeah, it's in degrade. It's still hanging out there. It looks fine It's a little like like one of the sides is a little caved in But I can't tell if it looked like that before or not because sometimes McDonald's fries just be doing that You know they do be doing that. Yeah Who has the best fries Then there's a question. We ain't nothing else is good about Arby's but Arby's frik curly fries are fucking insane Frisid the exacting really fries jack in the box Jack in the box so John in the box fuck it chick-fil-a blood. Did you do a key bump? Well, yeah, let's keep up. Yeah I Think you would actually die. Why is your time to you? Chick-fil-a Chick-fil-a friends waffle fron. Get this guy Pretty good, they're pretty good get this guy Say No drugs on the podcast would have been would have been with five guys please five guys All right, I wouldn't consider a fast food place though. I think five guys fries kind of fell off I Maybe it's just in Canada because I don't get it in US frequently But the last couple times I've gotten it they've been like Like there's no what I used to love about five guys fries you get a ton of those crispy pieces The last few times I've gotten super like starchy Not very like crunchy fries at all and it's like it's too soft, you know I would argue that Taco Bell's nacho fries are the best french fry. I don't think I've had those those are good Actually, I know for a fact. I've never had very very tasty fries They're fries All right, what's the worst fries Wendy's Wendy's is a good Wendy's Wendy's Wendy's the only the only redeeming part of the Wendy's French fry is that you have to take it and then put it in The frosty as a dipping implement. Oh, yeah But how shitty do your fucking french fries have to be where you have the only way to save them is you have to dip them in fucking ice cream Burger King fries are ass to As good for a big a fries or a hit or miss But Dolls fries when they're like stale and unsalted because I feel like half the time that's how they are Yeah, if it's with their fresh the good as fuck By someone who doesn't give a shit that you're drunk and you're not even gonna notice anyways, you're gonna give you the you're gonna give you the shitty fries But you go on mid midday right after school exam you're cooking all up the French Like I'm not I'm not a McDonald's defender here, I don't think they're the best fries in the world The worst is crazy the big orange. Yeah, fuck me. What do you mean? What's a big or is it wait? I'm pretty sure the big arch is Australian specific McDonald's item What yeah, what is that? It's like a big Mac, but it's two quarter pounder patties and then like white cheddar and then some kind of Big orange burger. How the hell are you? This is this was released five hours ago? How are you this in tune with? John McDonald we should get one the bad games I've heard he had a farm at one point We're Okay, there's a couple of reviews coming in but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna listen to anybody but Review brah. Yeah, I get a lot of that That was a suit Where is this fucking bag of tricks you have today? Why are you just why are you just playing were you wiener measuring before? Weird a weird item. It's a rookie mistake to measure with one of those tapes. Oh I gotta shoot in soul Weird item. I have a miniature Metal boot 3d printed. Oh, that's metal. I Have two separate monkeys. Hello kitty fuzz pedal I have a I've got a gardener He's gardening Wait Pictures of videos I That statue is giving your friend Manny. Yeah, it is quite me. I actually have Manny as well Manny's over there though, but I've made he's been on the elect this this podcast is turned into like special ed I think I think we should actually do an episode you're not allowed to buy something That's not already in your house. I think we should do like top three strangest items I think that would be a fucking Do they for sure See all my goofy gags I've already brought out like my my mobi huge would be a good one the painting of Manny Either next episode or the episode after we have the 27 to 28 you know what we should do We should just we should just show all of the Johns our stuff and not let them be cool They just have to set Army of John monkey statue. Yes Well, hey if your name is John and you want to be a part of this and you have some interesting cool shit about your life Yeah, we should put out a tweet we should put out a discord blazed we should put out like an email So excited for this We know what the John is we need to find the progenitor We need to know the first You know like patient zero John We go to the podcast real quick. I hear this Cuz you know I'm curious what is this guy do what is his life like what what is everybody want to see him Why does everybody know about his love life? How you know what was his favorite move in the bedroom? You know, yeah, when the last time John got a deal way Do you hear? Do what? We're gonna be here today I'm gonna bring it back up cuz it was real funny. Okay, so we were talking about and Frank Do you know old and Frank was when she died? Not a clue This is not a good direction I was watching a video by Marno it was like goons iconic moments And we're like I was like man in Frank sorry It was like fucking Frank or something. I don't know exactly what the context was a clip didn't really lead into it and then So soup was like you want to fucking Frank was like no, why would I want to fuck in Frank? You're just like why wouldn't you want to fucking Frank? Dude I have No idea and Frank was 15. I'm not gonna let that changes so many of the jokes. I've made in the past about Anne Frank That changes everything I'm not the fact that she was fucking murdered Like you know she was like It's a little less sad than at right right right right if she's an old woman past your prime and yeah She's like 38 years old and completely Members of the podcast would be fine. Yeah, like an old piece of shit That's 38 years old that nobody cares about like it'd be fine I think her and Marno and her king were born in the same year. I'm pretty sure that's like knowledge Like positive about that being you know, you can just like Google that real quick I know Okay That's hilarious. So is this the precipice John John Narders? John John orders seven four one two Yeah, I think we can we could probably watch them be like an abhorrent racist But but you have to think about it like we can use that to really get to the bottom of how we got there And that maybe could be a cautionary tale for the rest of the listeners to never speak to John's Yeah, it's one of those things, you know, you got to turn a negative a guy could be an important person But still a good podcast guess imagine how how popular the Joe Rogan podcast would be if he had like Hitler on Like what episode? It would be probably most probably everyone would want to know what the fuck was going on. It would be a crazy episode I'm not gonna I'd have to tune in to Hitler Who has to think everybody would you don't have to agree with the guy on everything? I got it You could at least has to say I want to I want to know It was not a good book wouldn't vouch with the book. I'm glad you even the audio book Why have you listed in the audio book too? I Maybe it was maybe it's just the English translation was bad. It turns out the German one sucks, too So bad writer bad artist great Great or great or great Katie re just very bad and Perspective night. I like when he painted us to you did paint us to dust he was based off of Hitler Well, no love ending the episode with With a good little Yeah, you know it just flies by when you're when you're John when you're John and off when you're Garfield enough When you're talking about all sorts of awesome wacky things We really got the podcast, huh? Yeah, I'm old Yeah, everyone say happy birthday to swagger souls in the comments And thank you as a birthday present to swagger souls to make all of us money He should go to gamersubs.gg use code goons to get 10% off and we will gamble the profits Hey, and I guess don't do that Also, if you're listening on YouTube make sure you like and subscribe leave a comment if you're a name of John I'm gonna find like two if your name is John and you have it. Okay. Here's what we should do if your name is John You're already in the running to come in but you need me verifiably John number two bring you a birth list You need a list what kind of job you've got and number three you need a you need a you need a cool story You were an interesting. Yeah, why should you above all other Johns? What makes you is stand out John? All right, thanks for listening and we go on to say We're joining off