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Maybe. time for your monthly palette cleanser after cleanse that palette after god that was dark yeah all of the weeks of dark ass content you're gonna get a light a light thing and that is am i the worst are you you might be we'll see we'll determine we'll be the ones to determine that we're the judges and jury of society and of this reddit okay and i hope i didn't oversell this one oh yeah Rebecca yeah this is the one if you if you heard the episode where we announced this here it is Rebecca was dying out laughing she's been thinking about it for weeks now and now we finally get to hear it I've no I have no idea what it is I think I found it after eating a gummy a mood and that what really sent me on a tailspin of laughter but then I read it again the next morning i like no it still fucking funny so good okay am i the asshole for not participating in my friend's scheme oh i'm already on your side but okay what kind of scheme we talk in oh you'll see my friend who i'll call zoltar please don't fake name i'm like zoltar okay i already like you yeah He's been obsessed with ketchup since I met him Bye I know we don't like ketchup So this was tough, but it's worth it He is always trying out different recipes To make his own ketchup And getting me and all of our friends to try them Recently, he made what he called The best ketchup yet I tried it It wasn't bad It was ketchup Now he has decided that he is finally going to Break into the ketchup game he is convinced that he is going to launch his own ketchup company and grow it to be one of the top providers of ketchup in the u.s he literally has a photo of hans ketchup on a dartboard and he throws darts at it and mutters things like i'm coming for you are you serious hey what about hunts throw hunts up there then yeah you're this is i'm not going up against them no it's a tough biz to get into any food and bath but i'm like it's not a fan yeah disgusting the worst of all the condiments actually second to mayo let's be honest thank you anyways he has a scheme he wants me and the others to participate in essentially it involves us all going to restaurants sitting at different tables and enacting lines from a scene that he wrote that will culminate and all of us trying and loving his ketchup and convincing the manager to buy it he wants us to memorize these lines here's what he came up with oh my god yes okay i've read this this han sucks and you throw it as hard as you can against the wall against the wall and make a scene yeah yeah that would be better than this okay one guy is supposed to call over a waitress and say that he likes the french fries but he hates the ketchup i'm supposed to lean over from another table and say sorry to but in ha ha but i have to agree i'm tired of this old-fashioned factory produced ketchup where's the real tomato flavor this is just a bad commercial the waitress is standing there like i don't give a shit really what you're doing please stop it please after a few other people do this my friend is going to say you guys won't believe this but i'm a ketchup chef and i have a few samples would you want to give it a shot at this point everyone is supposed to try the ketchup and act shocked by it exclaiming it is the best ketchup they've ever had the waitress has long walked away by now she doesn give a shit she gone i am supposed to stand on my table and make a trumpet sound effect and yell to the entire restaurant We have the best ketchup ever made over here Everyone come on over. One of the other people is supposed to go get the manager of the place. And we are all supposed to try to convince him or her to buy an order of my friend's ketchup. He said he'll act surprised and embarrassed and try to tell us, y'all stop putting this poor guy or girl on the spot regarding the manager he's confident this will make a huge sale then he wants us to do the same operation at other places in town i told him no way i'm doing you are the asshole you better do it and you bet someone someone better be planted in the audience to film that's what i said i'm like no you have to do it you better do it yes you're the asshole you better do it he said i told him no way i'm doing this i hate public speaking acting and having attention on me like why did you choose this gotta be the lead in your skit he said oh my god not to mention this idea is just so fucking dumb and crazy to me i told him that straight up he acted offended and said i'm ruining his dreams i am astounded by this but some of my friends agree and think he is showing a hustle quote hustle and that we should all help him launch the ketchup business okay aside from the ketchup obsession zoltar has been one of my best friends but it seems that our friendship is being ruined i forgot zoltar is behind this a lot of people are telling me i'm a jerk for going against his dream and not helping out i mean i was cackling at that it reads like an episode of safe by the belt i mean this is quite the scheme um zoltar is lovable oh he's very lovable but if you want me to respect the hustle and if you want this guy to respect the hustle um uh how about you just go in and make a pitch go in with a sample zoltar here's do you even have the licensing to sell this yeah so there's more red tape than you think there's more red tape but maybe you've already gone through it i love zoltar i i do love the the um the campy scheme i like the um the effort it is hilarious i mean the optimism for good for him good for z good for z um and yes op you are the asshole you're not taking one for the team just this once and doing it for us the audience just tell us what happens because the fact that zoltar thinks that everyone's just gonna like break into song and oh yeah is lovable they're gonna they're gonna place an order for a million dollars of this ketchup for sure it's really innocent it's really innocent i can't believe some of their friends are willing to do that i i hate this ketchup this waitress like i really don't give a shit i don't give a shit it gets delivered once a week i don't know right i just i don't know what i'm sick of this old fashioned produced ketchup I want some ketchup with some tomato flavor I just picture it working out so perfectly for him So is that how he ends it It ruining their friendship It ruining their friendship And he's like, I can't believe that my friends think that I'm the asshole for doing this. Am I? And everyone's like, no, no, it's all. It doesn't have it together yet. We don't know. I love it. I love the idea. Um, yes, you're the worst. I'm sorry. Excuse me. Go in there, stand on that table do a trumpet and he picks his best friend who like hates public speaking to stand on a table and say come on everybody try this ketchup are all the comments um supporting him he was ruled not the asshole because it's wow everyone's like this is hilarious oh my god for results are that that's not gonna work but um hopefully he'll find someone else to do it and then we'll see it go viral at some point with the waitress just standing there with the blank look on her face like what i don't like are y'all doing gross ketchup's disgusting anyway they're gonna see right through this scheme is my uh-huh uh-huh only concern that's my only concern but otherwise sounds like he's not gonna do it no notes no notes great pitch great pitch good luck with the ketchup biz Kraft Ketchup is next. He was determined not the worst, but God, that's good. Good plan. I bet Zoltar wouldn't mind. If you're an entrepreneur, do it. Do it. That's the hustle. You'll find something. See, we did. Look, our first business didn't work out either, Zoltar, and look, on our second one, we're doing better. It's better. It's better. so just stick to it just stick to it well what do y'all think is is who's the asshole here who's the worst is that is the poster the worst or is zoltar's silly scheme the poster the hans poster the no the original the op the original poster got it thank you like what do you mean the poster huh and that's a dartboard a dartboard he is very passionate about this respect i think well i think uh the op needs to do it uh-huh my god please hilarious y'all have a great month there's your palate cleanser yeah just relax think of your friends wins uh-huh think of their hilarious support them yeah think yeah support them in all their endeavors and that's all we have to say you're the best have a great one normal dark stories from here on out until next month until next month you are the best people are the worst are the worst or are they bye you
