You don't know me? A confession I can't take back. I am... You, the last speaker. Text to 78592 says, I'm 32 years old and only just now realized the do not operate heavy machinery warning includes cars. I thought it just meant like forklifts and bulldozers and stuff. That is like... I am scared. All the times you've been on the road. But I can fly an airplane, right? Moped's are fine. I'm not gonna lie, I thought the same thing. I do think forklifts. I'm like, no cars included. I don't own a tractor, so I'm good. What? They're just warning farmers out there? Yeah, I never thought about that. Don't get on the backhoe today, alright? Good news is we don't have any safety warnings here on the mass speaker. We'll let you say whatever you want as long as it's a secret about yourself. We've got a woman on the line who's ready to give us her own confession. She's chosen Donna as her fake identity. Donna, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much. Oh, man. Good morning. I don't know if we should be operating this radio show. This was a risky move, but voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. Okay, well, I'm debating whether or not I should even email you guys and tell you the story. I mean, I think it's really good, but it's also kind of bad. Oh, right place. Good and bad. Are we going to start with the bad or the good part? Well, it's kind of mixed in together, I guess. Okay, what happened? So a little while ago, you know, I was leaving work and I just had this really long, really stressful day and I just couldn't wait to get out of there. And I was driving home and I was just super hungry. So kind of on spur of the moment, I decided I'm just going to pull off and I'm going to stop at a McDonald's just to grab some dinner. Treat yourself. Okay. McDonald's is still fun when everyone agrees. McDonald's, yeah, that's a great idea. Sometimes the mood just hits. Okay. Exactly. I was just totally in the mood for it, but the line was pretty long. So obviously it wasn't the only one who had that idea, but I was committed. Like I'm going to get my McDonald's. They're pretty quick there. They're known for fast foods. So I think you'll be good. We just wait five, 10 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. So I had to wait and I finally got up to the ordering box and then I needed a second to look over that huge menu because I haven't been there in a while. Oh, you don't know. You don't have it locked in your head. Girl, you're waiting. What were you doing? Pull it up on your phone. They should have the menu like farther down the line, not just right in front of the place. But honestly, who doesn't order the same thing every time you go? Yeah, I know exactly my order. So I'm just scanning and scanning the menu and maybe I was taking a while, but the lady in the car right behind me, she starts like honking aggressively. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Look, come on now. That's so rude. In a drive through line. I mean, you can't have slow food when you're in the line, right? It is true, but. Yeah. And then I can see her in my rear view mirror and she's like mouthing. I can see what she's saying. She's like, let's go. Hurry up. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, reach people scare me too. Yeah. Like I don't want to mess with that. I mean, look, I understand because I'm tired. I'm hungry too. But who actually does that? Like to a complete stranger in a McDonald's line. Now you're taking even longer because you're waiting for what to do with this woman. Exactly. So I quickly put my order in as fast as I can, but now I'm really angry too. Oh, yeah. So now your day just got worse. The aggression has transferred via the air into your car. You know, I'm just getting more and more frustrated and angry the more I think about it. But then I had this moment of clarity and I knew exactly what I had to do. Oh, I feel like you're going to be one of those calm psycho people. Yeah. The way you said that has me a little concerned. She's like, I get the gas can out of the back of my head. I already have. I knew this acts would come in handy. No, what'd you do? Okay. So when I go to the first window where you pay, I told the cashier, like, oh, I'd like to pay for me. And I also like to pay for the woman behind me. What? Wow. Oh, I'll kill him with kindness. That is a thing. When they go low, you go higher. Very generous. Wow. It's exhausting, but it's the right way to do it. So I paid for both of our meals. Yeah. And then when I got up to the second window, they had my order ready. But then I showed them the receipt because I had the receipt for the order behind me too. And I told the guy, look, I put two separate orders in. And so then I took my food and I took her order too. And I throw off. Oh my God! She's still got to get a free meal out of it! But she's got to wait like four minutes! Yeah! Just the inconvenience of it! That's actually really funny! I was wondering, why would you pay for her! Exactly. So I took her order and I drove off and I felt so good in that moment. I just had this total adrenaline rush and I was just laughing to myself thinking about how confused that lady was going to be when she got to a window. Your friend's not here. I bet she's still screaming at that poor McDonald's employee. But I did kind of speed home because I was kind of worried that she might follow me. So did you end up eating both orders? So, you know, I'm like, okay, well just open her bag and see what's in there. And then my heart kind of sinks because along with some other stuff, there was a kid's meal box in there. That's right. Oh, she had a kid on the car. Yeah, he stole a child's food. Maybe she was like kids meals. What's wrong with adults getting them still? Actually, no, her kid was probably the one that was like, honk at that lady. She's taken too long. I want my toy. That's good, Jeff. Let's demonize the child's idea the whole time. I'm guessing you didn't keep the little toy in the happy meal as a reminder. Unless it was a good one. No, I did not. I felt so terrible to be honest. Yeah, but you did eat the kid's meal. I actually gave it to my dog. My dog really liked it. How is that lower? Diabolical, Donna. Here's some nuggets. All right, we're not going to mess with you. That's for sure. The text in the seven eight five nine two. If you have a confession you've been holding on to, we can hide your identity, mask your voice and make you our next mass speaker. Got your phone tab coming up right after this. Brooklyn Jeffrey in the morning.
