My Boyfriend Let My Ex Stalker Into Our House As Part Of A Surprise | Reading Reddit

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Allgemeene voorwaarden zijn van toepassing. 28 female boyfriend 29 male let my stalker ex 28 male into our apartment to leave me a birthday surprise how do i handle this absurdity my 28 female broke up with my ex 28 male 10 months ago but he will not get over it despite me wishing to no longer interact with my ex as well as me dating someone new cole 29 male my ex has been trying to win me back by doing over-the-top things like sending me gift baskets, love letters, chocolates, etc. Even though I've blocked his number on all social media and always ignore his attempts to woo me with his gifts. He never actually interacts with me directly, never waits for me outside or tries to talk to me. He just leaves me gifts at our doorstep and runs away. It's creepy and makes me super uncomfortable. Cole, who I live with, doesn't actually see an issue with this and says he feels bad for my ex and doesn't want me to waste my ex's money and efforts. So I reluctantly just let Cole eat the chocolates and other crap since he insists I don't throw them out. He even likes reading the love letters even though I tell him I don't want to. I don't understand why he's so chill about this because my ex and Cole aren't even friends and have never interacted. So it makes no sense why he's so okay with my ex doing these dumb gestures that he knows makes me uncomfortable and creeped out. if anything cole should be pissed off that someone is trying to steal his girlfriend right anyway all of this finally came to a head on my birthday after work i came home to our apartment decorated in balloons chocolates and flowers i'm immediately touched thinking all of this was a surprise from cole nope apparently my ex actually came over with all this crap buzzed our apartment doorbell cole let him in and allowed my ex to decorate our apartment and leave gifts for me then my ex left before i could get home cole apparently saw no issue with this he literally let my ex into our apartment like it was no big deal because my ex came all the way with all these gifts which was a thoughtful gesture now i feel totally unsafe what if my ex secretly left a hidden camera or something i have no idea why cole is so fine with all of this i've talked to him over and over and he won't understand why i would want to reject free stuff from someone who cares about me i love cole but the fact that he actually let my ex into our apartment was a huge breach of my trust and i have no clue how to deal with this is this relationship just unsalvageable or is there a way i can get it through cole's head that none of this is okay could cole have ulterior motives by letting my ex do all of these things any advice is welcome i just have no clue how to handle this absurd situation thanks edit thank you for all the insight everyone i really appreciate it i don't have the money to do everything that was recommended but i'm going to do some investigating into cole and my ex possibly being in cahoots with each other and confront cole this weekend likely to end this clusterfuck of a relationship if there's any interest i'll update if anything significant happens thank you again so there was some more information in terms of comments and questions from people someone said why is she already living with coal nobody says cost of living mostly i live in a very expensive city so i was living month to month on my own he basically offered to be my roommate so that we can go half and half on the rent internet and utilities and it would relieve my financial stress which it has a lot it might have been stupid to jump the gun at us moving in so quickly but he has only shown green flags until now i can technically kick him out and try to look for a different roommate things are totally done for since most of the stuff in our apartment is mine i mentioned above it was mostly to do with the cost of living in an expensive city that we moved in quickly i've known cole for a couple of years as a friendly co-worker and gaming buddy and then started dating him eight months ago i thought i knew him well enough but apparently not i meant that he only showed green flags before we started properly dating and we moved in together of all this whole stalker mess he was or at least pretended to be thoughtful funny helpful and sweet the type who if you told him you had a hard day he'd offer a shoulder massage and let you vent to him it wasn't until this stalker ex-staffed that he showed such a disregard for my safety and comfort whoopee also adds i've been with cole for almost eight months at this point i have no idea how the two of them could have met since they don't share any friends went to different schools work totally different jobs and have completely different interests unless they secretly became friends while my ex has been stalking me and he hidden that from me which would just be absolutely ridiculous because who would want to be friends with a guy who is stalking slash trying to steal your girlfriend but at this point i have no idea anymore someone asked how she met cole and opie said through work we both worked together in retail for a couple of years before i moved to a proper salary job and casually stayed in touch with him after i quit we would text just to catch up and play video games together over steam a couple of months after i broke up with my ex he asked me out for coffee and things just progress from there. Someone says if Opie was sure her ex was in the apartment. Opie says, I mean, all of the love letters and sign tags are in my ex's handwriting, so unless someone has copied his handwriting down to a T, I'm pretty sure it's my ex. Opie also adds, Cole has been the one eating all the edibles and interacting with the gifts. I do not even touch them. My initial thought is maybe he wanted to keep my ex's gifts around so he could get free chocolates to eat. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he's actually that careless. His friends already know about all of this and seem to think it's funny that my ex is such a tryhard. His family lives across the country, but I could try texting them. My ex was easy to break up with because I'd only been dating him two months before he pulled some absolutely dumb crap that pissed me off so much I felt no remorse in dumping him instantly. With Cole, it's a bit different since I've known him years before dating and thought he was a really great guy until now. He's genuinely sweet in every other way except this one thing, but this one thing is definitely bad enough to outweigh the good things. It just sucks, but I have to think about my safety first. My boyfriend is work from home, so there's a chance he caught my ex while he was dropping things off and they talked. He denies that, but I'm becoming more and more paranoid now, and I'm definitely going to see what I can do to end this relationship in case they are secretly in cahoots. I'm becoming more and more paranoid that they are somehow coming to contact if Cole caught my ex while he was dropping stuff off previously and then became buddies it makes no sense in my head but neither does any of this shit it's all so nonsensical that i could believe anything at this point i don't have the money to break my lease but i can kick cole out since he's not on the lease i hope he adds one more that says i'm a bit of a pushover because raised by an abusive mother does that sadly i definitely needed this wake-up call i grew up with an abusive mom an absent father so my relationship understandings are probably screwed up maybe i should probably go back to therapy for a while after this before putting myself out there again and you can imagine the comments after this basically just break up be done with this because what the fuck is going on here but the fact that cole wants to eat these chocolates has been reading the love letters for months while his girlfriend says she feels unsafe and is scared of what's going on is absolutely unhinged imagine your partner your wife your husband your favorite person in the world came to you and said this stuff and you're just like nah he's all right in fact i feel a bit sorry for him what the fuck and like many of the comments were saying she's not on the lease so she can kick him out she needs to change the locks check for cameras etc and if possible get a restraining order asap this isn't a small problem that you can just let wash over this is something that you know changes things completely just allowing a stalker into your home is i don't even know what to say update says hello all my last post blew up a bit and many people were concerned about me so i'm going to give you this update i can't even put into words how insane the situation has gotten more when i got back home on friday i tried to come up with a good plan to keep myself safe while i confronted cole in case he were to do something scary a lot of people put the fear of god into me in the comments of my last post i invited my very tall and intimidating younger brother over to be there while i talked to cole my brother couldn't come over until sunday so i spent a day and a half awkwardly trying to pretend everything was fine but i must have done a shit job because cole kept asking me what was wrong and love bombing me eventually sunday came around my brother showed up and i slash we grilled cole about why the hell he's been so fine with my ex coming around with gifts and and even letting him in decorate our apartment for my birthday i was not ready all of you had a lot of theories one of which came up a lot that the two knew each other and slash all were working together to do this if anything i would have rather that been the case because the truth is so much more fucked up basically cole has been fixated on my ex he's essentially been stalking my stalker cole admitted that he made fake social media accounts yes multiple to follow my ex and has been stalking his instagram and facebook apparently my ex has been making a lot of vent posts about me and how hurt he is that i'm not returning his feelings and i've moved on so fast and cole has been egging him on on his old accounts to get my ex to keep trying the reason my ex is still stalking me is because cole has been literally telling him to on his fucking old accounts it's obvious my ex is unstable if he's listening to random strangers telling him to keep trying and Cole has taken advantage of his instability by planting thoughts into his head. If I am to believe Cole's words, my ex has no idea that it's Cole that's been encouraging him to keep pursuing me. But I can't be certain about anything this guy says at this point. So why you ask was Cole doing all this? That is exactly what my brother and I asked. This was his answer. To give my ex false hope. Basically to bully him? Anytime my ex angst posted on his social media about me, Cole got some sick satisfaction out of watching his misery. He wanted to string my ex along to keep trying to win my heart just to watch him fail over and over Cole finds it hilarious that my ex is wasting so much money on gifts for me and that it him who eats the chocolates and reads the desperate love letters my ex sends to me while I act like my ex's gifts are radioactive and avoid them. This has been all some sick game to see how long he can get my ex to keep pining for me. Who the hell even does this? I've been living in fear for months because Cole thinks it's funny to manipulate my ex and watch him be heartbroken. I cannot articulate how sick all of this is. How is this funny? What is wrong with him? He said he makes sure not to go too far by discouraging my ex to make direct contact with me. I can't believe anything anymore. I've read so many stories of people who were dating someone who seemed so sweet initially but turned out to be actually unhinged. But I naively never thought that could be me. I was so careless and dumb because I clung to someone who finally treated me with kindness. But he is a twisted man who turned my ex into a monster by feeding his delusions. I think if he hadn't done all of this, my ex probably wouldn't still be stalking me in the first place. My constant fear and discomfort have just been an unfortunate byproduct of his little game of puppetry. I can't even comprehend how someone could do something like this. I'm so shaken up, I feel like I'm spiraling. Suffice to say, I'm living with my brother and his girlfriend while my ex gets the hell out. I told him he needs to move out within the week or I'm getting the cops involved. He didn't make a fuss or anything, surprisingly. He just looked at the floor like a kicked puppy. He hasn't even tried to call or text me, but I blocked him just in case. I'm going to see if my landlord can understand my situation and let me break lease early with no extra cost. But if I can't, my brother is going to cover the extra cost in the meantime and I'll stay with him and his girlfriend until I can find somewhere else. my brother is seriously a godsend i'm definitely going to go back to therapy as soon as possible because this whole situation has me unable to sleep at night trust anyone i really need a better understanding of what are red flags in relationships so many of you told me i was a pushover and you're all right it shouldn't have taken this long for me to call this relationship with cole off this is so fucked up but i'm safe for now i don't know what i'd do without my brother and his girlfriend thanks to everyone who told me to get out of this relationship because cole was way more twisted than i could have ever thought i don't even know if he told the whole truth but i don't even care anymore i'm out gone never looking back edit thank you everyone for your advice and words of encouragement i called the non-emergency police line to file a report of all this it wasn't super helpful other than just making a record so i do a follow-up with them once I have safe access to my apartment and can collect evidence. I am blocked Cole for now to gather any text evidence. As some of you suggested, he's been pretty quiet. He sent a photo of a couple of garbage bags full of his stuff and he asked if he could have a day to say goodbye to my cat. I have her with me currently at my brother's place. No way am I letting her near him. I haven't replied yet. I turned read receipts off. I haven't contacted X1 yet. Still figuring out the best way to do that. tomorrow is a stat holiday where i live so my brother and his girlfriend will be home from work we're working together to figure all this out definitely moving out to my current place as soon as i can sorry i can't reply to all the comments i'm still pretty overwhelmed and anxious and there are so many that is frying my brain i'm trying to read most of them i appreciate every one of you though opi adds a couple more comments and says i took the week off work because i need to just figure all this shit out. I'm so full of anxiety but my brother is trying to distract me by talking about competitive Pokemon. Bless his heart. Loads of people were saying that somebody tell her ex that he is being stalked and cyber bullied. OP says I was so caught up in escaping that I never considered this. You're right. Thank you for reminding me. My head is such a mess right now. I'll need to brainstorm the best way to let my ex know. I hate to know how he'll react to that though i'm going to find a way to get someone to tell him he might be a creep but he deserves to know he's being manipulated oh and i'm definitely not going to contact my stalker ex myself i'll probably get my brother to do it since he has at least met my ex a few times while i was dating my dumb self didn't think to record cole's conversation so we don't have hard proof of his cyber harassment towards my ex just gotta hope he believes us and stops interacting with cole's alt accounts though i don't know the name of cole's alts just that he has them which is also complicated he was sending me gifts before i started dating cold but it definitely ramped up after i started dating cold sometimes a girl it's a hard dose of reality from some wise redditors to get her shit together i'm glad i posted here holy crap and one more comment which says i will buy him a draft beer and get him a custom mug that says world best brother with a tyrannitar on it which I believe is a Pokemon correctly if I'm wrong oh my word I definitely didn't see Cole stalking the X on this one how mad is that that he's doing that it was definitely a good shout that OP didn't let the new X anywhere near the cat afterwards don't let him have a day with the cat for goodness sake and I think yeah I was thinking along the lines of brother telling the the original X stalker about this situation because you shouldn't be anywhere near him you don't want to stir up any feelings for this guy whatsoever a holy moly with a cherry on top what do you guys make of this situation i still going back to the beginning that he let someone in to decorate the room for OP A stalker Madness Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below And let's move on to another story. Our next story is just a cheeky one from the Am I the Asshole subreddit from CapableCandy6712. And it says, Am I the Asshole for not wanting our friend to ever come back to our house after he ate literally everything we owned? my husband and i live abroad earlier this year a mutual acquaintance let's call him k reached out saying he'd been scammed with an apartment rental and had nowhere to stay at first we only offered a weekend but he was polite helped us around the house and seemed grateful so we ended up letting him stay the full 20 days he'd asked for during that time some things rubbed us the wrong way he never brought groceries and multiple times he pretended he was going to pay but forgot his wallet or claimed he could only use Apple Pay, not accepted at our local supermarket. He'd eat way more than his share. Once my husband and I shared half a pizza and he ate the other pizza and the half without contributing. Still, we felt bad for him so we let it go. We stayed friendly and a few months later we were planning a 17-day trip. Since he was struggling with rent, we offered him to stay at our place in exchange for taking care of our dog. I even wrote a Google Doc with instructions for the house, dog care, gym access, etc. I told him he could eat anything that was going to expire. Fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc. When we came back, everything was gone. And I mean everything. The entire fridge, freezer, pantry. He finished two jars of jam, a jar of peanut butter, a giant Costco bottle of olive oil, condiments rice snacks cheese even my husband's supplements creatine protein collagen he completely destroyed a ceramic pan he consumed things that usually last us six months in just two weeks i honestly suspect he might have taken stuff with him because it's insane how much was missing i didn't confront him except to ask him to replace the pan which he mocked me about it's just a pan why are you making it a big deal i felt deeply disrespected now he keeps texting me acting like nothing happened and wants to hang out i told my husband i don't want him in our home ever again my husband says i'm being too harsh and if he wants to stay friends that's his choice but i feel completely taken advantage of and disrespected so am i the arsehole for not wanting to see this guy ever again and refusing to let him come back to our house my first thoughts on this is that he hasn't eaten all these stuff he's just literally stole it and taken it somewhere unless you're seeing evidence of like the rubbish or trash around i mean who the hell is using that much olive oil but smooch knows says he didn't consume it all in that time he emptied your place and took it back to his to last him a while he stole from you like he was on a shopping spree and if he did eat it all depending on how much creatine was left that guy is gonna have the shit inside major says not the arsehole change the locks he gets wind from your husband you have an overnight stay elsewhere he'll be restocking again he made a duplicate tell husband to put on his big boy pants and smell the coffee mooch boy does not come in the door anymore he can stay friends but hubby goes to his place time for cameras and door cameras game king replies saying they need to check around the house for missing things like checkbooks id debit and credit cards they rarely use and don't keep on them keep an eye on their mail he might have applied for things in their names and would swoop the mail for it from their mailbox before they get to it keep an eye on their credit reports for new credit accounts new addresses they need to assume he's gone through every drawer cabinet and closet with a fine tooth comb also keep on their toes if he were going to try something along these lines he'd wait a few months to increase his plausible deniability and one more comment from kappa who says not the arsehole this person is not your friend and your husband needs to rethink anyone who mocks his wife over something that person destroyed. This friend has little to no respect for either of you. If your husband wants to lessen himself by continuing this one-sided friendship with this guy, it's on him. However, you do not let anyone who treated your home the way he did back in again. You can decide if you'll reconsider if this guy apologizes, but he's not allowed to be in your home alone again. I just don't think there is any consideration on the back of that this guy just totally disrespected you and very likely stole from you or something or something even weirder is happening opie did reply to someone that i saw and it said i'd rather just cut ties we've already sent too many red flags and we were foolish enough to let empathy and compassion for his financial situation get in the way instead of appreciating it he took advantage of us i don't think he deserves another chance and honestly his friendship doesn't bring anything positive to my life to make up for the bad behavior absolutely but what would you do in this situation maybe you got a different thought on what's going on but i think it's definitely going down the stolen all of its route right but let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much and hopefully i'll see you in the next one take care and much love.