Dry January: Why Sober is the New Cool

This is Women Road Warriors with Shelly Johnson and Cassie Ticcaro from the corporate office to the cab of a truck. They're here to inspire and empower women in all professions. So gear down, sit back and enjoy. Welcome. We're an award-winning show dedicated to empowering women in every profession through inspiring stories and expert insights. No topics off limits on our show. We Power Women on the Road to Success with expert and celebrity interviews and information you need. I'm Shelly. And I'm Kathy. Today's guest is a true force of compassion, resilience and reinvention. Kim Bellis is the founder of Sober is the New Cool, an organization she created in 2013 after her teenage son developed seizures and could no longer drink at social events. What began as a mother's promise to show her son that joy doesn't require alcohol became a personal transformation. Kim chose sobriety herself and discovered a new level of happiness and clarity and has never looked back. She now celebrates 13 years sober. Kim launched Sober is the New Cool to break the stigma around addiction and mental health, to promote self-love and holistic wellness, and to remind people of her powerful motto, never ever miss another memory. Through global advocacy, community support, wellness practices and her own lived example, Kim spreads the message that sobriety isn't about giving something up, it's about gaining everything, presence, purpose and a life filled with moments you don't want to miss. She since walked in Fashion Week at the age of 62, led the International Recovery Walk with more than 35 countries and built a worldwide community rooted in kindness, connection and hope. Kim Bellis is here today to show that wellness is a journey, sobriety is empowering and saying no to one thing can open the door to absolutely everything. She has the perfect message for dry January. Welcome Kim, thank you so much for being on the show with us. Oh my God, I feel like I'm honored to be here, thank you. You're welcome, welcome, welcome. Just a quick note, I also have 13 years sober, so congrats. It's amazing, time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it? I know, I still can't believe it's been 13 years, I couldn't spend 13 minutes without a drink. Now look at me now, holy crap, congrats to you. Yes, congrats to both of you guys, this is just terrific. And Kim, I love what you're doing and this is exactly what people really need to know because it seems like our society likes to medicate itself. Oh my God, yes. And you know, over 13 years ago when my son was playing football and he started having seizures, we found out he was epileptic. So he would never be able to drink with his medication or we'd end up back in the hospital. So I said, you know, I'll stop drinking for three months to prove a point like mothers do and it's going to be 13 years, January 12th, 2026. Wow. That's so terrific. Yes. And this is definitely mothers love and you're spreading the love to everyone. How did you come to the conclusion that you needed to start a movement? Well, you know, believe it or not, you know, he was so ashamed to tell people that he was, he couldn't drink even though he was sick with epilepsy. It had nothing to do with addiction. So at that time it was like, you know, I thought, okay, I've got to talk about this. So we talk about it like the son. So he's not embarrassed. So he's kind of used me as, you know, guys, you can't come here with beer. You can't do this. You can't do that because my mother stopped drinking for me. So it relieved him of having to talk about it. And the first year that I stopped drinking because after three months, he said, see now you could be like everyone else. I said, okay, I'll do another three months. And then it turned into a year. But that first year, everywhere I went, people said, just come in the corner, have a drink. You never had a problem with alcohol. There was like, and I kept thinking to myself, I made a promise to my son. And if I'm, I was 52 at the time. So I thought, wow, how is he going to be able to get through this social situations when everywhere I went. And also at that point, I kind of, you know, every month that went by, I realized I was sleeping better. I had more energy. I was much more positive. I had, you know, I just was more open to all kinds of things. So we created Sober's The New Cool kind of on the kitchen table. My sister and I, for him to have a way to talk about it without having to talk about it. So he used me, I used him. And then we've created a Facebook page, not knowing what we were doing. I trademarked the name, don't ask me why. And the next thing I knew from around the world, I was getting comments. How did you do it? What do you do? How can you get through this? Can you help me with this? And it just blew up. It just happened. It's terrific. I mean, you have a ton of social media followers. Yes. Oh, it's fabulous. And you know, you're right. It's like our society. It's normalized alcohol. And if you're in a room with people who are drinking, they're uncomfortable. They pressure you to drink. It's crazy. That's so true. And it's like you're, they're uncomfortable because you're sober and it almost makes it awkward for them. Not for the sober people because we're like, you know what, if you would only see yourself right now. You wouldn't be doing that. You know what? I remember thinking, oh my God, I used to repeat the same thing over and over and over again. You know, what you started saying at seven o'clock at 1030, you were talking about the same thing. So I thought, thank goodness I don't do that. Right? I was just in Cancun for two weeks in October and I ended up going to Coco Bongo where the poor free flow tequila everywhere. And I think I pretty sure I was the only sober one. And no, I was with my girlfriend and she was sober too. But the two of us looking at everybody else and by the time, because we got there at 830 and people are just pounding it back. And I'm like, oh my God, imagine, and I looked at her and I said, imagine what they're going to look like at one, one week. Right? And yeah, it was, it was kind of messy by the time we left. I said, okay, you know what, I've had enough of this. And the waiters kept going by of trying to pour alcohol down our throats. And I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm good. It was, it was over the top, you know? Yeah. People don't realize it's kind of like watching a circus that really goes sideways when people are drinking. If you're the only sober person in the room, you could really see this metamorphosis and it doesn't turn out well a lot of times. And see, the other thing is I was saying, well, are they even going to remember this tomorrow? It was a five hour show. And so, right, they'll get up and like, oh, I don't remember anything. And that's where Kim's slogan, never ever miss another memory, makes so much sense because you forget stuff when you drink. Yes. Yes. And you know what? I realized that sobriety and not drinking is really the tip of the iceberg for wellness. It really, you know what? It's all good when you can stop drinking, but there's so much more. You know, you have to feel things and you have to be able to really manage your life and not forget because that's what most people do. And unfortunately, I think that a lot of people do drink or do do drugs because of trauma or sadness. Yes. So I just tried to make it so that, you know what? We're all in this together. I do a white party in New York every year and women come from Canada, the United States, from Europe sometimes. And you know what? It's women sitting around different tables and everyone just says, doesn't matter what they used to do, me too, or I get it. I've been there. I've done that. And like, nobody is judgmental. It's like they're talking about, you know, a diet or they're talking about just about anything. Like it has, it's almost like the conversation is like talking about, you know, exercise, wellness, sleeping, reading a book. There's no judgment. And I think that's the thing that's the most important that I try and make people know that they matter. They're, you know, that they're worthy. They should have no shame. And you know what? And we're there. And there's a lot of us that are there. Not, you know, they're not alone. There's a growing movement. I think people have a real awareness about alcohol. And I think people are really also looking at the fact that medicating yourself, which our society does do, they try to numb the pain, numb the anxiety, deal with the stress in a very unhealthy way. I think people are trying to maybe look more at that. And certainly dry January, which I understand started actually in the UK, is another way for people to just kind of try it out. Yes. And you know what? It's almost like after Christmas or after any holiday season, everybody's kind of overeaten, overdrank, over, you know, dead, you're in too much of everything. So they're kind of like looking for a break to feel better, right? And it's amazing how many people don't do just dry January. They go now into February and March. It's incredible. It really is incredible. Well, when you think about it, alcohol doesn't make you feel good. If you drink too much, either throw up, pass it, hurt yourself, say things you shouldn't, pee off, you end up with fewer friends, and then you're hungover the next day. And you act like an ass. Right. Yes. And you know, I think what's almost the saddest part of it is everybody just wants to feel like they belong or, you know, they just don't feel like, for me anyways, I never felt like I was good enough. I, you know, I should have been a doctor. I should have been an accountant. I should have been something other than who I was. And that was part of the whole thing of never feeling worthy. And I don't want anyone to have to wait till they're 60 years old to feel like they're worthy of just being them. Yeah. And that's what you're leading people to see, which is excellent, because you don't need liquid courage to be yourself now. Stay tuned for more of Women Road Warriors coming up. Dean Michael, the tax doctor here. I have one question for you. Do you want to stop worrying about the IRS? If the answer is yes, then look no further. I've been around for years. I've helped countless people across the country, and my success rate speaks for itself. So now you know where to find good, honest help with your tax problems. What are you waiting for? If you owe more than $10,000 of the IRS or haven't filed in years, call me now at 888-557-4020 or go to mytaxhelpmd.com for a free consultation and get your life back. Welcome back to Women Road Warriors with Shelley Johnson and Kathy Takarov. If you're enjoying this informative episode of Women Road Warriors, I wanted to mention Kathy and I explore all kinds of topics that will power you on the road to success. We feature a lot of expert interviews. Plus, we feature celebrities and women who've been trailblazers. Please check out our podcast at womenroadwarriors.com and click on our episodes page. We're also available wherever you listen to podcasts on all the major podcast channels like Spotify, Apple, YouTube, Amazon Music, Audible, you name it. Check us out and bookmark our podcast. Also don't forget to follow us on social media. We're on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, YouTube and other sites. And tell others about us. We want to help as many women as possible. If Dry January has you rethinking your relationship with alcohol, our guest today brings a powerful reminder that joy doesn't come from a glass. It comes from being present. Kim Bellis is the founder of SOPER is the new cool, an international organization she created after her son developed seizures and could no longer drink socially. What began as a mother's promise became a personal transformation. Kim chose sobriety herself and discovered clarity, happiness and purpose she never expected. 13 years sober now, she's breaking stigma around addiction and mental health and living by her motto, never ever miss another memory. Kim Bellis' message is exactly what Dry January is all about. Kim, in our last segment, I mentioned that you don't have to have liquid courage to be yourself. That really is so true, you know, but we lose sight of that in adulthood. And we all have gifts and different ones. And you know, I try and do these things where that's kind of how I started this whole thing was empowering people where I would say, okay, every morning I'm going to send you one positive word after the words I am. And you have to send me back a word. And it had to be like, you know, I'm funny or I'm artsy or I'm lovable or I'm blessed. And as we went on with weeks and months, people, it gets harder and harder to say nice things about yourself because it's people forget the qualities they have. They do. Well, those are some of the messages we get from other people. I think we had maybe a better handle on who we are when we come into this world as children. We don't have the inhibitions and kids are willing to try most anything and they're confident unless they're told not to be. So Kim, when you first got sober, what were some of the benefits you initially saw and how did it get better? Well, the first thing was definitely sleep. For me, that was like huge. I, you know, the other thing was I had a lot more energy. I was always kind of positive and I had like, like, you know, I was like the class mom and I did all the things you would, you know, work for cancer events. And I did all the things you were kind of supposed to do. So from looking outside in, it looked like I had a great, great life, but I was, I guess, and just never felt like I was good enough. So the first thing was the positivity. I just started to feel better and better. I started new things. I started, you know, trying to meditate, which I'm still not very good at because I move a lot, you know, around too much. But I, you know, I did exercise. I had so much more time on my hands to try and find new ways to feel better. And I met people that were incredible from around the world. Like six months in, I had, the UK was actually the first place that we're sending messages on top of messages. And it was women from the ages of, I would say 40 to 65. And just asking different questions. How did you do it? And I said, well, one of the things I did was I went and had, I quit smoking with getting hypnotized. So I thought, okay, I'm just going to get hypnotized for this too, to take the edge off because believe it or not, the first year, every restaurant I went to, and I didn't go to too many because I couldn't stand, you know, the Italian place was the red wine, the sushi place was rosé. Everything reminded me of liquor. So I realized how much I was drinking and that in itself, you know, was unbelievable. And if you see pitches of me at 40, and now I'm going to be 65 next month, I look better almost now than I did then. You look fabulous. You do. You're honest. You're beautiful. You know, and I just think that I was so, the part of not feeling good enough and trying to help people gave me a purpose. I think that was the best thing that happened to me. I think that's what we're all looking for, really, a sense of purpose of who am I? What can I do for other people? Maybe some people aren't that way, but I think in general, people want to help humanity in their own little way. And if they don't feel like they're doing anything, they start feeling really bad about themselves. And that's where you get into this really bad rabbit hole where you start medicating. Yeah. And it's easy to do, isn't it? It really is. So you have some wonderful perspectives. What kind of tips do you give people? Say they really have, they may not realize that they are addicted perhaps to the alcohol. Some may be social drinkers, some may not. And when they try to quit, they really have a wake-up call. What kind of tips do you have for them? Well, I think the first thing I try and remind them is just get through the day. You know, whether it's a minute, whether it's five minutes, you know, if you feel like you're going to drink, try and get up and go for a walk or move or pick up a book because you can't really read and drink and read a book at the same time. Does it work? I try and get them to focus on just getting through that moment because if you can just get through 20 minutes at a time and then, you know, every day, if you just put your head down and go, okay, I got through today and not look, you know, for tomorrow and the next day and these people that, you know, say, okay, you can never do this again. You know, to me, I don't like that never say never kind of thing. I don't judge anybody. If they make a slip up, we just start over again. To me, it's really about rebuilding their self-esteem, you know, and I think once they start to feel better about themselves, it makes it easier. But I do tell them, you know, some people need AA, some people need to do exercise, some people need yoga. Right? I tell people to do as many things as they need to do to get through it and, you know, and to reach out, not to be afraid to talk to anybody. And I'm always available. I answer as me. I mean, I'm a one-woman show, but now I have, I'm lucky I have a lot of ambassadors around the world that do this free of charge that will go for a coffee with someone. You know, sometimes people just need to go for a walk. So now sometimes what I'll do is on FaceTime, no matter where they are or on WhatsApp, we do a walk-in talk. So I go outside, they go outside, we see where each other lives, changes their mind. And you know, I just try to get them to be honest. And you know, sometimes there's not much I can say because there is, there's sometimes there's such trauma that you just have to sit back and listen. And you know, hope that they know that you're there and you just try and get through each moment. I think that's the key I found so far is just being there and picking up the phone and going for a walk and just making sure they know that they really are worthy to be. And they deserve a great life. They really deserve a great life. The hardest part is picking up the phone. You know, you could carry around so much shame and oh, I don't want to bother the, you know, and they make up all these, you get, you become a prisoner in your own mind. And picking up that phone is so hard for some people. Like for me, it is like, you know what, I had a lot of tools, I had a lot of resources. I mean, I was in treatment so for a year. So I was blessed that way, but eventually you got to leave treatment and you got to face that big bad world. So you got to use your tools. And what has worked for me is sometimes when I get fixated on the thought of alcohol, it's changing, stopping drastically that train of thought. Like almost like a give yourself a shockwave so that your mind is focused on something else and having a hobby has saved me. You know, because like doing things with my hands. And I remember when I first quit drinking, I started giving talks to women in recovery and kids in schools and youth in programs. And what I did is I would take screenshots of Facebook quotes, positive quotes, right? I'd go to Walmart, I'd print them off for like 10 cents a picture. And then I figured all they're going to ban. So I went and bought a laminator and a cutter. So I would spend hours at home laminating and cutting these quotes and it was keeping my mind occupied. It was keeping my hands busy. And it helped me because I'm going to go give this to people that would value it. And when I would distribute them, they're like, oh, you see these women go, oh my God, I needed this. How did you know? And, you know, so it helped me do that because I'm serving a bigger purpose than myself. No. And I do one thing I'd started doing is I have these tiny little white hearts and it's called the White Heart Initiative. And it doesn't necessarily always end up for somebody that has a drinking problem. It could be just someone that has some sort of anxiety. And I just send these white hearts out to people. And when I'm walking around, I'll give out these white hearts. And it's incredible because I really feel that every day when I get up, I have messages and tons of them. And there's something much higher than me. I am Catholic, but I think that there's something much bigger. Call it the universe, call it God, call it whatever you wish. I just seem to be at the right place at the right time for the right person. And this is what's kept me going for 13 years is I'm always, someone will say, how did you know to send me a message this morning? And I don't, I don't. I just somehow they come into my mind and I send a message and maybe that's the way that they didn't have to call me. I don't know. Stay tuned for more of Women Road Warriors coming up. Welcome back to Women Road Warriors with Shelley Johnson and Kathy Takarov. This is a conversation you don't want to miss, especially during dry January. Kim Bellis is the founder of Sober is the New Cool, a global movement rooted in compassion, wellness and self love that supports people achieving sobriety. She started it back in 2013 after her son developed seizures and could no longer drink, sparking a realization that fun, connection and confidence don't require alcohol. Kim chose sobriety herself and has never looked back. 13 years sober, she's led international recovery walks that involve 35 countries, walked Fashion Week at 62 and built a worldwide community focused on kindness and hope that helps people stay sober. Kim's here to remind us that sobriety isn't about giving something up, it's about gaining everything. She's been sharing valuable tips to achieve sobriety. Kim, what you're doing for people worldwide is amazing, helping them to reach out and get help and support. You're breaking the ice and certainly when somebody's making a change or they're stuck in their addiction, one of the biggest barriers is for them to pick up that phone and to reach out for help because I think a lot of times people think nobody cares. There's something wrong with me and I don't want to admit there's something wrong with me. Right? And you know, I started making t-shirts and hoodies and I give away more than I sell, believe it or not. But now I have those bags for when you go to the grocery store shopping and you cannot believe how many people will come and now it's mostly 30-year-olds that will ask me, what is this? So where is the new cool? And I think that by, you know, I've very rarely had somebody be negative about it, but most people are really quite open and they want to know more about it. And I think the way I talk about it and I wear, you know, it's put on a jean jacket, it's put on things and people think it's cool. It's not, you know, it's no longer, you know, wellness is cool, right? Eating well is cool. Suriety is cool. So I think that it's starting to change kind of like when my kids started driving that are now 28 and 30, they didn't drink and drive, right? We did. So I think we're finally getting somewhere. It takes time. It does. Mm-hmm. Like any change, right? Yeah. Human beings are stubborn. Yeah. Just a little bit. In my case, oh my God, maybe a whole lot. I say to people often, imagine if you had to give up chocolate for the rest of your life. And then people's face change when I say that. Mm-hmm. Because it's not very easy to do. What we do is heart, you know, okay. So what do you have to say about relapses, about people who come and say, you know what, I drank, but then I was sober, but then I drank again. And now I don't know. And you know, is there... I will never judge. I say thank you for coming back. Thank you for being open. And let's find what happened, what triggered you. Let's get through it together. Let's start again. I'm, you know, I know a lot of people will go back to day one and if that's what they choose to do, that's okay. I see it more like 365 days, less one, you know? I find if we look at it like that where it's less positive, more positive, because I did have a young woman I met who became the daughter I never had. And she passed away last year. And she did relapse more than once. But you know what, for all the moments that she was sober, because it's very hard. Unfortunately, not everybody heals the same way, I guess, or is fortunate enough to go to treatment or to have the right people around them because I think who is around you is huge. The community, the people you surround yourself with is huge. You know what it is? Because if you, like in my case, being sober, I had many relapses and it took me exactly from 2006 to 2012 to finally quit. And when I did finally get it, well, my mother moved in and she's an alcoholic. And so I'm finding bottles everywhere and I'm like, mom, and my husband at the time, he was sober, we quit the same day. And I said, you can't be bringing this into our house because we both struggle and relapse is really just a drink away, like one sip. And so, and it also, I had to set rules that you, you know, if you're going to be here, I love you, you're my mother, but if you're going to be in my space, you cannot drink or I'm going to have to ask you to leave, you know, and to stick with those boundaries. And it's hard, especially with family. Yeah. Yeah. Or friends. And you know, and you know, at one point, you know, people would say, well, you, you should have tough luck or you should do this or you should do that. It's so easy to say what you should do, right? It's, you know, because I wish everybody would find God or I had a magic wand that made everybody feel okay. Like that would be my dream come true, right? And I wish she would have found what she needed in life, my sweet Natty, you know, but she couldn't. So that's the unfortunate part. So I, you know, I'm so happy when I hear people get through relapses and are able to get through the other side. And I guess that's why after I lost her, I thought, okay, I just can't do this anymore. Cause for eight years I spoke to her every day. She was in London, England. She made me do what she made me. She asked me to do a tattoo and I'm a ribbons and bows kind of girl. And I thought, oh my God, a tattoo, you know, 53 or 54. And I got one. We've got matching tattoos, did it on WhatsApp, her in London, England and me in Montreal, Canada. And you know, it's my best piece of jewelry right now for the rest of my life. So you know, those are things that I think these last 13 years, I, out of 8 billion people, I meet the most incredible human beings. I'm the lucky one. I'm sorry to hear about Maddie. Yeah. Yeah. It's very hard. My, my best friend of we, we did recovery together in well springs. It was a year long treatment for women and we were roommates and we were complete polar opposites and end up being best friends. And she had eight and a half, eight and a half years. We both had eight and a half years sober. And when COVID hit, she relapsed and she never did recover and she died in my house and in 2022 or 2021, I think. And I still to this day is what could I have done different? How did I not, because I was helping her with, with treatment with, you know, going back to jobs or, or what, what can we have for resources or, you know, I'm rocking my brain because I was so stunned that she had relaxed. I mean, her of all people, she was traveling the world talking about conferences about human trafficking and, but she forgot the whole self care part. And yeah, so I had to, I had to accept that it's not nothing I could do that I can't. I can only help point the way she has to do the work. Yeah, but it was very hard. So I understand. And, and that's what I think is the most important that, you know, everybody tries to be a little more gentle with everybody. Cause we never know what somebody's going through. We just don't. Is it not the truth? And people, some people tend to judge and it's so wrong. You're not walking in their shoes. You have no clue for you to judge someone else based on your own life experience. It's totally unrealistic. It really is. And humans have a tendency to do that. Yeah. Nobody wants to get up in the morning and say, I want to be an alcoholic or I want to be have anxiety or I want to have depression. Yeah. Nobody. So an alcohol, I have heard is one of the toughest things to kick right along with opiates. Yeah. Mm hmm. Cause it alters the brain chemistry and it does so many different things. It's a vicious, vicious cycle. And if people are really, really hardcore in their drinking, it has to be done correctly because people can die if they go cold turkey without some medical introduction. Yeah. And that's the other thing too. I, you know, I, I've gotten to a point now I do this international recovery walk every year. And so, you know, to get people to come the last two years, cause I've done it in my own hometown, Montreal, and I, the countries walk virtually around the world and they send in videos at the same time. And I've had to start saying instead of recovery, wellness walk, because so many people were afraid in my hometown that people were going to judge them coming to a recovery walk. And I thought, how sad you should be so proud. Cause that's the biggest achievement you could possibly have in life is being well and, and, you know, taking good care of yourself. It's true. People are afraid of the stigma and they want to quietly not talk about it because they think it could impact their social life, their jobs. Yeah. There's still that stigma, even though we have come a long, long way from 50, 60 years ago, where I think everybody drank and you were just regarded as, is kind of a weak and having a character flaw. If alcohol became a problem. And if it got out of hand, I mean, people judge people, you know, or, you know, like, you know, if I, you know, I walk into a, you know, like when I travel and I have my sober as the new cool T-shirt and some people want to go to the bar and have a zero beer and people stare, you know, like when we did fashion week and we came back. That was a fashion event that was done for every person inclusive. So I was the old lady. And then there were people that were different, sexual, you know, to describe themselves. Gender. Yeah. And then there was one girl that was, you know, a breast cancer survivor. It was inclusive across the board, the models that walked. And after the fact, everyone went to a, you know, a hotel bar and, you know, a lot of us had this social sober stuff on and people were just staring at us. Like we were like aliens almost. And, you know, it was quite, it was quite funny. And that by the end of the night, people were very curious to find out what was going on and what we were doing. So I think the more we talked about it, because everybody seems to know somebody that has a problem. The world is not perfect. I mean, if everyone has a vice of some sort, if they really, really think about it, you know, people may snack too much. They like sugar. They like junk food. And then there's that guilt. I think it's the guilt that we experience that stop us in so many ways. And you have a non-judgmental community you've set up here, which is full of support, which is how you champion change. Stay tuned for more of Women Road Warriors coming up. Industry movement, Trucking Moves America Forward is telling the story of the industry. Our safety champions, the women of trucking, independent contractors, the next generation of truckers and more. Help us promote the best of our industry. Share your story and what you love about trucking. Share images of a moment you're proud of. And join us on social media. Learn more at truckingmovesamerica.com. Welcome back to Women Road Warriors with Shelley Johnson and Kathy Takarov. Dry January isn't just about taking a break. It's about gaining clarity. And our guests today embodies that beautifully. Kim Bellis is the founder of Sober is the New Cool, an organization born from a deeply personal moment when her son could no longer drink due to seizures. Determined to show him that life could still be joyful. Kim shows sobriety herself and discovered a whole new level of happiness and presence. Thirteen years sober now, she's become a global advocate for mental health, wellness and recovery, reminding people everywhere to never ever miss another memory. She helps people worldwide, achieves sobriety and say no to alcohol. She's here to show us how saying no to one thing can open the door to everything. Kim, your group is making so much change and helping so many people. And I think the women, you know, it's funny because when I meet someone and I seem to help someone, they, even my sweet Natty, she was helping women in London, England. You know, while she was sober, she was really giving back. And I think a lot of these women that do get help do help others and not the best gift of all. It really is. And that's what it's all about. You know, pass it on. Yeah. You have something on your website, Kim, that says the secret to living your best life. Start where you are, breathe, move, laugh, love, and that wellness isn't a destination. It's how you live each moment. Did you want to talk a little bit more about that? Because I really love that philosophy. To me, it's like every day is like, first of all, the fact that, you know, you get up and you, you, you know, you have life to me is, is number one. You've got friends, you've got family. And I think if people start the day with a bit of gratitude, I think that starts you off because not every day do we wake up and feel great. So, you know, if we just say thank you for three things every morning when we wake up, I think it kind of shifts the, you know, the way we think. And if you can just try to be nice to somebody just once every day, it's amazing what it gives you. And I think that that's the part of about the wellness because the more you do for others, the more, you know what, you really are the one that gets the most out of it. And that's what I mean about wellness. There's some pretty cool endorphins that we get when we help other people and we get a smile from someone else. Yeah. And, you know, it's, it's incredible because, you know, sometimes you, you get a feeling and I think that that's the thing that people forget. Like sometimes I'll be walking, like, for example, I go to the same Costco every week and I'd buy flowers. That's my thing instead of wine. And the girl that gives the flowers to me all the time, I've known her for years. The nicest woman, Darlene. And one time I was in there and I just thought to myself, geez, she doesn't look so good, you know, happy or whatever today. And I turned back around and I gave her one of my little white hearts and she hugged me and she said, you have no idea the bad day that I was having. And, you know, right then and there, why did I do it that day out of all the other times I've been there? I don't know. But she's told me over and over that that got her through something that was really, really, really sad and trying for that time. So when you have a feeling like that, when you see somebody sad or somebody crying, go and try and help them. You know, we're all shy to try because we kind of, you know, feel like we're intruding somehow and we're not, you know, and if they don't want to help, they'll just say, no, thanks. But it's amazing how often people will be so grateful you stop to say hello or, you know, you did something for them. People need to know that other people care. And people today, I don't think they're getting that feeling on social media. There's a lot of meanness out there. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And that's one thing I have to say. Being on this, it's dry January. I want everyone to be extra careful because all of a sudden everybody seems to be a sober coach and everyone's told me in the last 13 years, oh, you should say you're a sober coach because you helped so many women. I will not ever say that because I think that that's playing with somebody's life. You can't take a course or six week course or an eight week course, you know, and help because people are really fragile. And I just want people to get to know the best people, people that will be there for them, people that will truly help them. Because unfortunately, you know, a lot of people can become coaches after six or eight weeks or two months or three months on these courses that are taking online. So I just wish that everyone going through sober January, dry January, just to find the best people and surround yourself with people that will go for a walk with you, people that will do something for you without asking for anything in return. You know, I'm sorry, I'm going to bring this to my work because I'm working the first two weeks of January or from January 6 on. And a lot of the guys drink like fish. So I am going to do, I'm going to say, hey, don't you know, sober is a new cool and check out this website. It might help you when you get off work because a lot of some guys, they spend all 10 all two all two weeks drunk. Yeah. And they come, oh yeah, like some of, you know, there's a lot of there's a high divorce rate just from our job being gone two weeks and off two weeks. But yeah, so I'm going to say, hey, don't you know, sober is a new cool. And being having 13 years sober, like my whole work knows that. I think I have one of the very few that is sober. I'm going to, you know, be the ambassador for you up in Northern Canada. Cause I, you said you're in from Montreal. I work in Northern Alberta. So, and I am from Montreal, by the way, from Val d'Al, my whole family's in Quebec. So, um, yeah. And I'm going to send you a whole bunch of little white hearts and you're going to keep, you're going to keep them in your pocket. And you're going to give them to people when you feel that, you know, that feeling that somebody would just might need a heart in their hand to know. Oh my gosh. Great. Normally I just put it in someone's hand. Sometimes I'll just say, just know that someone's always thinking of you. Sometimes I won't say anything. See them, I don't put them in their hard hats because they leave their hard hats, uh, you know, but on the table when we go in in the morning, I'll put it by their bag or kind of, they'll be like, what is this? But I have to be, I am going to have to be careful because they're going to say, Ooh, Kathy's, you're not hitting on them. Right. No, no, no, no. Don't you be getting the wrong idea. Oh, you know, guys, there's only six women and 120 men. So, yeah, I don't want to be sending out, Oh, Kathy. The wrong message. Right. Absolutely. So Kim, can people reach out to you? I'm sure there are a lot of people who would like to join the community and maybe reach out and get that support as they go on their journey. Yes. I'm, you know, Instagram is really the greatest place to reach me. My website is being, uh, redone. It's still like it's on, it's working, but it's not completely finalized. So you just have to go to soberisthenukool.ca. And on Instagram, uh, it's sober.is.the.cool, new cool. And you know what? I answer at, at messages from five in the morning till late at night. And I'll get back to you or one of my ambassadors will, if I'm not in the same place, or we try and find people that live nearby, or we just try and, you know, do the I am because that is you, you cannot imagine when somebody wakes up and they go on their phone and they get, you know, I am lovable or I am smart or I am blessed or I am funny or because it just, they kind of go, Oh yeah, I am. Aren't I? You know, and it's, it's a nice way to start the day and it's a nice way to end the day. And for people that have children or spouses that have a problem, I tell them to get a whiteboard from the dollar store and put I am on it and in the bathroom and every day just put it a word in the morning and a word at night for them because it really does change the way they start to see themselves. It's a good idea. It is kind of a, it's a positive affirmation, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. And it's easy to do. It's easy. I mean, it's easy at the beginning because there's a lot of words, but then as you go, you know, it does get harder, like compassionate. And, you know, there's a lot of different words to describe somebody. And, you know, that's the beauty about being who you are, because there's only one you and you really matter. But here's a question. Can anybody become an ambassador? Yes. Can I, can I become an ambassador? As long as you guys be the good one. But my rule is as long as you are kind, you're non-judgmental. And in my 13 years, I've only had to ask one person to unfortunately not be an ambassador anymore because they were not, they were a little judgmental with somebody that relapsed. And I just feel that we need to be as kind as we can possibly be. I agree. Well, I'm going to sign up. I'm going to be one of your ambassadors because I am the perfect person for that. Excellent, Kathy. I'm, I'm honored to have you as an ambassador, honestly. Thank you. So people can reach out to you and you said you have ambassadors. They're all over the world. So this gives people a local support system, doesn't it? Yes. And you know what we do, even if sometimes we don't have, like someone will say, someone just got out of rehab. One young girl had sent me a message and she had to move states because, you know, not to get into the same trouble again. And she knew no one. So I reached out to a whole bunch of young girls in her city. And, you know, only two ended up going for coffee, but that's all she needed to meet other people. And then I found like a, you know, there's a place in New York City now that is like a social club for kids from 17 to 30 where they can go and hang out. And it's a gift for them. So I try and find little things like that for whatever age they're in, or if they're young mothers or, you know, into yoga, because apparently a lot of people have to yoga, go for wine, which doesn't work too well for some of us. So I try and find people that, you know, are well suited together. And it's amazing how small the world truly is. And community and networking like this, that's a terrific concept and a great way to keep people on point. You know, there's accountability there and there's compassion. You've got people who understand you. And I think that's what all of us are looking for. I love your perspective, Kim. This is, you've really started a movement here. And I love how you say, sometimes saying no to one thing lets you say yes to everything else. I mean, people are saying yes to their lives, aren't they? Yeah. And the one thing about my white party, the women that show up come along. And when, by the time they leave that night, they have made friends for the for forever. It's unbelievable what happens at this white party. Everybody just wears white. I don't know if it's because everybody wears white, but there's some kind of magic in the air and every year it gets bigger and bigger. And it's, it really shows you. It doesn't really matter where you're from or what you do or who you are. It's, it's just a matter of connecting with other people. So what do people find more information on all of this? I'm sure that there's going to be a lot of curiosity. People want to know how they can connect with an ambassador, connect with you, get involved, all of the above. Well, then now there's going to be a place on my website where they can, you know, send a message and then we can give them all the information. All the information will always be on my Instagram page. Everything is there on Facebook, on Instagram. We're on YouTube. So it's quite, but on Instagram, that's the first place I post because most of the people are from that area. You know, that my, my age group is really from 25 to 60, 61, supposedly. On, on Instagram and Facebook, when all the things come up, the profile of my business, well, it's not business. It's a lifestyle, I guess. And, you know, I think maybe because I don't ask anybody for anything, that's the best part because we seem to attract people that want to give for free, you know, and, and that's a gift. It certainly is. More people need to do that. That's what life's about and human beings. Oh my goodness. So people can look up Kim Bellas, B-E-L-L-A-S. And obviously, sober is the new cool. That will give people the direction they need to head. I love the name of your organization and your, your movement. It's terrific. And our white party is always in May and the international recovery walk is always in September for international recovery day. And the rest of the year, we're just here and, you know, we'll find people for you to, you know, communicate with, go for coffee with, go for a walk, go for a run, do an art class, do yoga, do whatever it is you're looking for. And, you know what? We're just, we're just all really blessed to know one another. That's what I think. Kim, you're a blessing with what you've done here. This is terrific. Thank you so much for being on the show. Oh my God, you are amazing in every way. We hope you've enjoyed this latest episode. And if you want to hear more episodes of Women Road Warriors or learn more about our show, be sure to check out womenroadwarriors.com. And please follow us on social media. 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