Celebrating Galentine's Day (w/ Sasheer Zamata)

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Oh, baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come in my eye and tell me that's the white part. My guest today! Wait a minute. Hold up. This is a special episode. It is. It's what? Galentine's Day, which is a holiday where we celebrate the most important relationship in our lives. It's our girlfriends. It's an episode celebrating friendship. And honestly, there is only one person I could have on this show. You know her. You love her. She's my best friend. She's a comedian. She's an actress. And you know her from SNL and Agatha all along. And our podcast, Best Friends. And she's one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. It's Asher Zameda. Those credits felt like accusations. You know her. Well, I'm hoping to get people going. If they don't know you from those things, Yeah. They could go to Disney Plus. They could sign up for an account and they can watch Agatha all along. It's true. Or they could hop on YouTube. Well, first they'd hop to hop on Wikipedia to find out the years you were on SNL and then go to YouTube. Put your name. Oh, I guess they don't have to. They could just say your name SNL. Yeah, that's true. Wow. I was giving everybody an extra step. Well, I'm so excited that you're here. Do you know the origin of Galentine's Day? I don't. I'm going to tell you. Please, I learned. Yeah. It originated on the hit television series Parks and Rec. Oh. Where Leslie Knope coins the term Galentine's Day. That's so funny. Isn't it? For some reason, I thought Galentine's was like a longer established thing. I guess Parks and Rec has also been out for a while. But it's also been off for a while. That's true. It's not going anymore, Sashir. Are you sure? What? What? What are you? It's gone? That's cool, though. It is cool. I also thought it was just a thing that was a thing. Yeah. It was just a holiday that was also around when Valentine's was around. But actually, we were just talking about, you and I were just talking about things being from TV or film versus like just a saying in the world. And that's that's an example of something that came from a show. Came from a show. What is your relationship with just what's your relationship with Galentine's Day? Have you ever celebrated? I don't think officially. No, I can't remember a time where I was like. Come on, girls. Let's go, girls. Right. Have we celebrated Galentine's? No, I feel like you've always been in a relationship and had a nice time with your partner. Left me cold, sad and withering alone in a bed. But I guess it's OK. I have other friends. Who knows? I don't know. You've been on the podcast so much. Maybe I don't have other friends. No, you do. I've never celebrated Galentine's Day. and I wish it was more of like a thing in my 20s. Yeah. Because I think I would make it like a production and be like, let's all go out. Let's have a lovely time. But my, I think the most visceral way I can describe how I felt about Valentine's Day is the scene in Sex and the City, the movie, when Carrie and Miranda go out and then Miranda tells Carrie what she said to Big right before the wedding before he left her at the altar. And they're at the restaurant and there's all these strings. Yes. And they're having this awful conversation. And they're just surrepted by strings. That's really funny. That's how I've always felt Valentine's Day is where I'm like, everyone's in love. I hate it. I get that. But now, now I'm okay with it. And I think I was okay with it I think I've been okay with it for a couple years. Well, now I have a nice person in my life. That's funny. I have no idea what we did last year for Valentine's Day. Oh, wait. We went to dinner on the 15th because I couldn't find a reservation for the 14th. And he was like, that was great. That was a good idea. And I was like, yeah, that was an idea. The day after, because the reservations are open. It was just because there simply wasn't one. Do you have any Valentine's Day traditions? Because you've been with your partner for three, four years? Almost four years, yeah. I guess not traditions. We kind of like, we really like surprising each other for Valentine's Day and on our anniversary. But actually, I saw a clip of Bobby Burke on this show. Yes. Talking about. Sitting right there. Sitting right here? about how he and his partner, like, to do experiences rather than gifts or whatever. And so I brought that up to my girlfriend. She's like, you want to give me gifts? I was like, I mean, yeah. You're like, it was just an idea. It was just an idea. It was just something I saw. I just saw it. I was like, I saw this great clip. That's really funny. I said to that nice man in my life at Christmas, I was like, what if we just like didn't do presents this year because I don't know what to get you. And he was like, I'm going to get you a present. And I was like, same. I'm going to get you a present. And then I was like, I got to get him a present. I don't know what to get him because I get him stuff all year round. Yeah, that's how I feel. I'm like, I feel like I'm always giving you gifts. Yeah. And then also the anniversary. And then there's also Christmas. And it's like, we should. One of these can give. Like, we don't have to do it all the time. Yeah. That's kind of how I feel. Mm-hmm. But then also, I love a gift. Do you love receiving gifts? Oh, my goodness. Yeah. For Christmas, he got me this really pretty necklace. And then I was like, you did so good. And he's like, I didn't do it alone. She'll help me. And I was like, behind my back. We were conspiring behind your back. It's my favorite kind of conspiring. boy oh boy when something happens that's a surprise to me and multiple people are involved and like i'm so important i'm multiple conversations happened around me like check-ins is this good what about i was like i was on these people's minds and i didn't even know i so shira brought me like i was screaming i was like i was so excited oh i'm so glad so has anything changed because I think you were on the show. I think it's almost it's been about a year since you were last on the program. Yes. Has anything changed in your relationship status or in your life in general that you care to share with America? Well, as long as America's listening, I feel crazy. I had pop chips and a Diet Coke and I'm like, yeah, like 20 minutes ago, you were like, I'm tired. and you are amped up right now. You were spicy queso. What's changed? Still gay. I've decided to stick with it. That's good. Thanks. This year, that's really good. I feel like sometimes people waffle on things or dip in their toes in. Yeah. But you dove in head first and said, I'll stay submerged. I am submerged. still gay yeah yeah and yeah relationship still good and yeah honestly i don't think there's like a any nothing's like big is happening was it your anniversary that your girlfriend surprised you with a trip to where you were suspended in the air and climbing. I'm not describing that well. I think that was my birthday. There was like a, what do you call it? Like what was aerial jungle gyms or something like that? And we went to, yeah, it was like a mountainous area. And then they had these like suspension bridges and you were kind of like hooked up to it. And it was really fun. And I guess she picked it because I had sent I guess I had sent that exact one to her on. Oh, wait, really? Yeah. But I forgot. And so she remembered and then booked it for us. And it was really fun. The wildest part was you sent a video or pictures to like our group chat. And I was like, this is crazy. This is what we did in gym in high school, which in hindsight, crazy that. Yeah, that we were belaying and repelling as 16-year-olds, and it's like, you signed a waiver probably. I did. I never signed a waiver. They're just like, you're in school? Yeah. You're at Middletown High School South. You might die, and nobody cares. Wild, right? It's wild. Can we also turn the air down? Mm, you got a little chilly. I'm cold now. Your nipples hard. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. You don't have to answer that. My nipples are none of your business. I was at dinner last night with a friend of a friend who's pregnant. And she was like, God, I'm so stuffed. I'm really uncomfortable. And my friend goes, so what's your favorite position? And she was like, excuse me? What are you sexually? What are you talking? He was he was like, no, no, no. Like when you're when you're uncomfortable and full with the baby. Like how? And it was really funny because I also was like, oh, you Harvard. Yeah, I feel like you have to say sleeping position. Anything. Yeah. Anything other than just what's your favorite position? It's like, what? That's funny. No. Do you think it's necessary for, I know my answer, but do you think it's necessary to like elevate and celebrate your single girlfriends on something like Valentine's Day? I do think it's important. I don't want my single friends to feel left out. But then there's also a part of me that's like, I don't want to patronize them. So I don't I don't actually know. And no one's ever told me. Yeah. Does that feel patronizing? Someone's like, hey, girl, just thinking about your single ass today. Don't leave you out. Here's a rose. If you said it like that, that's not patronizing in the slightest. Think about your single ass. Here's a fucking rose. I would love it actually if that's how people reached out to me but I do think it's like I've had people be like like on Valentine's Day like if you run into someone they're like oh well you know maybe next year you'll be celebrating or something like that I'm like oh I don't like that but when I was single I do wish I gathered single friends it really feels like a missed opportunity Mm-hmm. Shaking my dang head. Shaking your dang head. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't, because I'm partnered and I like it. I like where I'm at. It's nice. It's really nice. Yeah, it's nice. Do you remember any, is there like memorable Valentine's Day surprises or gifts that your girlfriend has gotten you? Oh, yes. Or other partners? Yeah, definitely. um when I was I was shooting Agatha in Georgia uh in the winter so we started in January so Valentine's Day was coming up and my girlfriend was staying with me and I think I was shooting that day so we couldn't actually like do anything that day but then I came home and she had like made the couch into a bed and gotten us a pizza, which we love. Your favorite thing. You both have tattoos of pizza. We do both have tattoos of pizza. It's part of the reason we're like, is it meant to be? Who in the world has a pizza tattoo? It's rare. And then flowers and then cookies, chocolate chip cookies. and then she had like already ready to play a Goofy movie, which is my favorite movie. That's really sweet. And it was just like, it's the best. It was just so sweet and considerate. It was like nice to walk home into that and we just like snuggled on the couch and watched the movie. I love that. That is so fucking thoughtful because it's like you worked all day and then you come to like to relax with all of your favorite things, your favorite movie, a chocolate chip cookie, pizza. That's so nice. It's really, really nice. I like gifts like that or experiences where you're like, oh, you really thought of me. It's not just something you wanted me to have or wanted me to experience. I was in a relationship where a lot of his gifts were things that he wanted me to have. And for my birthday one year, we went to Disney. I'm not a Disney head. Yeah. I don't know the difference between Pluto and Goofy. That's true. I don't. It's not a magic kingdom to me. It's a place. It a place It just a little it a place with a big parking lot and stuff to do It not for me And I was like you like that Yeah So you were thinking it a thing for us to do together but it something that you wanted to do that you bringing me with Yeah. Which is fine for your birthday or any other day, but like, it's my birthday. I want to get wet. I want to eat sweets. I want to maybe color. Oh, yes. You have new pins. I do. And let me tell you, I'm having a nice time with them. Nice. I have not finished a thing. But you have them. I have them. I've broken them out a couple of times. Yeah. Yeah. I like it when it's like specific to you when someone's like, because, yeah, you can go to dinner anytime. And we usually do. So it's like, yeah, just going to a generic dinner isn't that exciting or like a, I don't know. Yeah. Just like it can or just I mean, flowers are beautiful, too. but if it's like, if this is your favorite flower, this is your favorite food, or, yeah. Like, I like when people are like, I remember this thing about you, and I want to celebrate that. Because it means they're listening, they're retaining, they're loving on you. Yeah. I now remember, I gave that nice man a card with a construction thing, like one of them scoopers, and it said, I dig you. And then I wrote something on the inside, and I gave it to him, and then he was like, and I was like you didn't laugh do you not get it? it's a construction scooper and it says I dig you cause it's digging and I like you so I dig you and he was like no no I and he was like you have to remember I can think a thing as funny and I won't go nuts you're like why aren't you going nuts yeah why aren't you doing cartwheels did you not read it why haven't you slammed it on the counter and screamed but i gotta remember everybody's a little different but that's like one of those things where i was like oh that was for me yeah i gotta find a card that is more for him Mm-hmm. What is that card? I don't know. When does this air? Friday on Galentine's Day proper. Oh, Valentine's Day is... Galentine's Day is the 13th. The day before Valentine's Day. I didn't know that. I had no idea that Galentine's Day was the day before. That's so funny. I thought people were having to make mental sacrifices to go out with their partner or go out with their friends. That was his own separate day. This is nuts. And everybody just knew that? I did know that. Wow. I thought it was just like instead of Valentine's Day, have a Galentine's Day. No, I think it's like you could do both. You could celebrate your girls on the 13th and on the 14th celebrate with your partner. Wow. Greedy. Why a friend and a partner? Oh, my God. Get real. So, I'm, like, blown away. We went and had our tarot cards read. Yes. By this really fun woman who had, she developed her own way of reading the tarot, which is, like, you don't cut the deck. There's no shuffling. It's, like, based on your, like, date of birth and your name, I think. Yeah. And so it was, like, a lot of numbers involved. So she like would count up the numbers in your birth date and your name and then use that. And then each card had a correlating number to it. And it was very cool. It was cool. Also, she dressed really fun. It was like, this is lame. I almost just said it was like a real experience. Boo, go home, get out. But it was, it was like, I like when you go and do a thing where the person's into it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Where you're like, oh, you're not like bored of doing this. Like when you remember the arc light. But isn't it coming back? I think someone bought it. Wait, maybe I knew this. I just got so excited like I didn't. And I think I do. You know how you know something and then someone reminds you and you're like, oh, yeah. That's maybe what happened. I don't know. Yeah. Those spicy queso. Erased your memory. but like the the ushers at the arc light sometimes you'd get an usher who before the movie would pump you up so hard for that movie and i'm like you love movies you love your job yeah in another life you're tom cruise like you love movies yeah and i love somebody who just like loves what they're doing and the woman that we saw loved what she was doing yeah i've i've used Airbnb experiences in other cities. I've never done it in my own city, which I guess like, of course, you can do that. I just never thought to do that. But it is a good way to like, be able to find a niche thing that might not be like, I don't know, just like a big thing that everyone does all the time. It's like a very curated, like individual experience. Yeah. And I feel like I spend a lot of time being like, what do I do? What do I do? A movie? A dinner like what and then but it's like fun to like go look at airbnb and be like what exactly can i do yeah like if you want to ride a horse they got that that's true you can ride a dang horse you can ride a dang horse if you want to um but our tarot reading i really she said so many lovely things about you she and it was really fun to do it together because she was like you're powerful You have this power that you can harness. And I was like, she is powerful. Yeah, all my cards were like high priestess, like queen of cups, king of wands. It was like royal. It was very, very nice. Mine was like death, the hanged man. Yes. But that happens to me sometimes. I once had my cards read at a show where I was pulling these cards. I kept pulling death and the hanged man and swords upside down and like cups. Everything was upside down. Yeah. And the person reading them was like, oh, God, I hate to tell you, but like I'm reading for your love life. And an evil man is coming back into your life. And you're going to have to weather that storm and then like get over it. our tarot card lady through our experience did not say any of that which was like I was like that's nice that's good yeah um but yeah I just I love having my cards read I think it's such a fun thing yeah and another Airbnb experience we did was making beat it jewelry in a greenhouse and it was a literal greenhouse with a greenhouse I mean it really rocked me when it was like a actual greenhouse and then we went into a greenhouse I was like whoa double dipping in the greens and different greens yeah greens on greens greens on greens on greens and we made jewelry yes pause for reaching the way I reached for that was insane I'm wearing mine you are wearing yours and yours is so pretty and I gotta say you're very good at like meticulous things I had a hard time because I was like you count your beads and you were like yes and I was like oh yeah that makes sense I gotta count my beads too but it was like it was fun it was very close to my house I was like, oh, my God, I'm so close to home. Yeah, it was like in a like greenhouse in someone's backyard. And it was just this cute little like shed that had like jazz music and incense. It was like a very vibey. And we picked out our beads and we just like is this and it was just the two of us. So it was like very intimate. And we just like gabbed and gossiped for a couple hours while we were like doing this. And I was like, I would come back and do this because I also I was OK. I won't lie. I will not lie. I was really so so on it. I was like I don't know making jewelry. But then I did it and I had a lovely time and I made this keychain. It's very you. Right. Yeah. There's stars and stars. There's stars. It's purple. And then doesn't that look like a Mario Brothers little mushroom. Yes. Maybe give a little more description for the audio. both pieces a little ASMR too you're right this is my keychain okay so there's a blue Mario Brothers mushroom bead and then a big chunky bead and then I got some star turquoise beads and then some zebra I guess these are stones that she drilled through are these beads? I don't know I don't know either. It's freaking me out. Is this a stone or a bead? But I can't wait to put it on my keychain and make my keychain even longer. And louder. Truly. When I drop my keys, it sounds like a car accident. It's like... It's crazy. But I like... I don't know. I had such a fun time picking out the beads and then figuring out what the placement was. And then at one point I was like, this is off. I need another turquoise big one. And then I got... It's one of those things where, I don't know, I felt like a kid again. Yeah. You know? Yeah, that is like, I feel like a crafting activity that someone would assign students to make them shut up for a minute. Yeah. Speaking of crafts as a child, do you remember any bad crafts that you did? The reason I ask is if I got one. Please tell me. When I was in Girl Scouts, I think I was a Daisy Scout. They said, here are mats, doormats, paint them. Paint a doormat for my feet to go on? What? So it gets dirty? Interesting. I was so mad the whole time we were doing it. I was mad too. And I remember, I can't remember where we were. I don't think it was in someone's house. I think it was in like a rec center. I remember I would not paint with the girls. I painted in the corner because I was like, this is dumb. This is so dumb. I was so mad. And I'm 100% sure my mother threw it away. Yeah, because also like that's the first thing in front of your front door. Yeah, something a child made. No one wants that. And then, you know, it's like kind of bristly. So then the paint would goop the bristles. It sounds like someone had like a surplus of doormats and they're like, oh, craft day. Probably. Wait, describe your necklace that you made. Can you hear it? Can you hear it? It's just my necklace. Can you hear it? Can you hear it? And the middle stone is like a moonstone. I don't think it's a real moonstone, but it's like looks like a moonstone. And there's actual moon shape on it. and then the beads are brown gold shimmery and then like a muted kind of tan color and then like uh i put a little white beads in between i counted 10 beads for each color 10 beads a white one 10 beads a white one 10 beads and a white one um and i like it i like it a lot it's very you it's very the sheer colors. Thank y'all. Are you an earth sign? No. Water? No, earth sign. Ah. I don't know anything about the sign and that's why that stopped. Okay, so I have been, I've been fucking with gold jewelry. I didn't wear any today because I, you know, that I've been dipping into, I want to look like an old woman from Harlem with like just lots and lots of gold jewelry, big acrylics and door knocker earrings. And I've been doing pretty well. Yes. I was running late today and I didn't. It's okay. But I made this necklace and I wanted it to be very long because I have a bunch of short ones. And I was like, oh, I don't have like a long guy. And I didn't count beads good. And I strung them up. And then I said, well, this is going to be shorter than I wanted it to be because I don't have the strength. I can't unbead, rebead. But to describe, that's my necklace. So I counted, I think, one, two, three, four, five, six. Crazy that you remembered how many you put. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I didn't want to copy you fully. Nine gold. Okay, so there's six just gold beads. And then three funky. Oh, I didn't do good at all. This side has three. That side has four. But it doesn't have to be symmetrical. It should be. So we got some funky gold beads and then silver hearts. Funky. Nine funkies. And then we got silver heart. And then we got macaronis because they look like little macaronis. And then funky gold. And then more hearts. and then we got some stars, which I didn't really understand how they were going to lay out, so they're a little, they're weird. Oh, dang. And then that wasn't supposed to have two hearts there, but it does. Oh, wait, no, it's supposed to. This is wild. Like, it's as if I made this and then went, ah, I don't remember anything. You just blacked out. It really looks like this is the first time I'm seeing this. And I took this out and showed the nice man. I was like, look at my beads. And then there a bunch of stars in the middle because I a star Yes girl And I don want the world to forget it So I going to wear stars all the time I like that I really want to get a star ring I saw a big sterling silver star ring and I was like, that looks nice. I have not bought it yet because I have to wait till the end of the month. like for checks to come in or times are tough um my therapist my lovely lovely therapist was like fill up the carts you like you like browsing you like shopping online fill up the carts wait till the end of the month if it's still available if you still want it it was meant to be. And it has been a struggle. Yeah. But I like that guideline. Me too. And it's been really tough to follow. And my guideline, I also was like, I'm not buying new things this year. I bought so much. But most of it's used. Okay. I got this. This is from Depop. Okay, great. As long as secondhand. Yeah. And I wore this because I was like, wow, they really shouldn't be friends. A puppy and a cat? What an odd couple. You're an odd couple like me and Cichu. I'm the puppy or am I the cat? Oh, see, I figured you were the cat because this puppy's like, I'm crazy. That's true. That's true. I feel like the cat's like, it's got like a blue bow. It feels like adorned like you would like, I don't know. Oh my God. Thank you for saying I'd be adorned. Yeah. Oh, I really liked that word. oh my god she's adorned she's adorned I um it was fun to watch you maybe you have small hands but like you're really nimble it was like really wild to like I don't know you were moving fast you could be a factory worker like a text time I think you were done before me I think I was. Yeah. But I also was already in the jewelry making zone. Oh, yeah. Because you had made jewelry in Guatemala. Yes. Yeah. I love an activity. And I was there for a wedding and my girlfriend was in the wedding. So I didn't see her for half the day because she was like getting ready for it with the bridal party. And I was like, I'm going to find a class. And I found this jewelry making class. And it was so fun. And they like made these ceramic beads by hand. And that's nice. And it was like not that different from the class that we took. And the woman was explaining that I could use the wire to like just dig into the beads, like into the bowl. She's like, some people just like do this. And I was like, oh, maybe I'll do that. And you care to not share that information. Well, you were so far behind that you, I don't even know when you started stringing them, but I was like, she'll get to it. You're still arranging it. You were very meticulous, too. You were like here. No, I don't. It's hard over here. And then you get going back up to the to the bead bar. Yeah, because I was like, I need more beads. But I can't believe that you left me behind. You're not George W. Bush because you left this child behind. Damn. Yeah. But it wasn't. I feel like that technique of like dipping the wire into the pool of beads works when they're tiny beads like this. But you had big old jangles. Yeah. Another experience you can do is strut through WeHo bars with a drag queen. That's fun. I think that's super fun. Yeah. I think that's like a, I think that's a good bachelorette party. I was just thinking that, yeah. As opposed to hijacking a drag show with your celebration. You can be the show. Yeah, that's true. You know? I think that's fun. What's another experience that you'd want to do? I like classes. I like crafty classes. Maybe like glass blowing or like tie dye workshop, like dyeing fabrics, a bird house making thing. A bird house making thing? To make a bird house. Huh. Here's OK. So. If you hang up a bird house at your house, how do you get them to move in? I think they kind of know. Or I think they assess it and they're like, this is a good place for my nest. And then they just build a nest there. I think. I don't know if I've heard of a need to attract them. I think they just know for some reason. Yeah. This is going to sound insane. Would love a bird friend. I would love a bird who came to visit and just hung out with me. Yeah, that could happen. I don't know how. How do I get the birds to me? I don't know. I try. My girlfriend got me a bunch of crow feed, like food for crows, because I have a lot of crows in my yard and in my neighborhood. And I was like, I want to be the crow lady. Sign me up. I'm about to be the crow lady of this neighborhood. But then, like, I talked to somebody about it because they have a lot of crows and they feed them. But they're like, you have to feed them regularly. Oh, otherwise they get mad. They get mad and they start screaming at you. And I was like, well, I don't want that. I don't want them to get used to and expect me to feed them. I wanted them to be independent. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. So I'm like on the fence. I'm like, I want the crows around. I also would love for them to bring me things. You can train them to do that, too. Yeah, I want treats. Imagine if crows stole ice cream cones from me. That seems messy. Do you really want an ice cream cone from a crow? Here's the thing. Sometimes I really fantasize about being in a cartoon. Because to me, that's not messy. To me, that's two crows working together with their little beaks holding the bottom of it and bringing it to me. And then I'm like, ah. It'd be like a messed up cone by the time it gets to you. Yeah, probably. Because it's got to fly through the air. Mm-hmm. All right. Fine. Do you have any plans for Valentine's Day this year? I do. I mean, yes and no. Like, we were... No, no. Fair. Fair. That happens sometimes. You thought you did and you don't when you think about it. So we were going to be in L.A., but we're not going to be in L.A. on Valentine's Day. So the plans that I had are no longer happening. But my girlfriend found something that she does want to do with me, but is going to have to be weeks from now, scheduling-wise. So we will do something in the future. And we'll probably do something together on Valentine's Day, but it won't be that thing that we had planned. I see. Yes. I see why you didn't want to explain it. It was a lot. Yeah, and honestly, I really thank you for letting me in. And America. Now America can know the ins and outs. They know exactly what's going to be going on today. Because today is Galentine's Day. This is crazy that it's not on the 14th. But it should be its own thing. You're right. And it makes sense. I'm just fully blown away. Yeah. What am I doing on the 13th? I don't know. Let's see what the potato has to say. I love potato. I don't think I'm doing a dang thing. No, I am doing... Actually, I don't know. I had a you situation. Yeah. Well, I have something planned, but Clyde, my puppy, my dog, he's not a puppy. I've talked about this on so many podcasts. He had surgery and I don't want to leave him alone while he's on medication. Yeah, that makes sense. Because, I don't know. What if something goes awry? Yeah. So I had plans, but I think I'm probably going to stay home with him. Hey, you're smart. Mm-hmm. Boy, oh boy. Boy, oh boy. What's one of your favorite things about having a strong, lasting female friendship, not specifically with me, but just in general? I don't know why I asked to like that. One of my favorite things about my long lasting friendship with any female, not specifically you. Any female. Any woman. My favorite thing. I think there's like a level of intimacy that like just feels different than a romantic partnership. And that I like love and feel is necessary. Like, yeah, I don't think I'd want to only have a romantic partnership and not feel the benefits of a strong female friendship. And. Yeah, there's like a level of comfort there, too, where it feels like I guess like a sister, like, you know, all my stuff and it feels like very easy and comfortable. and like I like that we can like hang out and not have to talk to each other or like we could just like be around each other but still like there's no like we don't have to put effort into like entertaining each other or like do you like this thing? It's like you'll just tell me if you like it or you don't like it. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's my favorite thing about having like a long-lasting female friendship is you don't really have to make this will sound wild, like sacrifice. Sometimes you make a sacrifice in a relationship because you're like, I don't ever want to do that thing, but it's important to you, so I'll do it. But with my friends, I'm like, oh, hey, you won't see me there. Like one of my best fucking feelings was we were going to an estate sale in the morning and I was already fucking dragging. And then parking was crazy. And then I saw you guys in this line and I was like, wait, what? That's where you are? There's all those people? I said, you'll never see me again. And I left. I had never felt so good. I was like, I felt like Nicole Kidman after her divorce. I was like, ah! I went home, I got back in bed, and I said, nobody was mad at me. This is true. We're like, that's understandable. We'll see you tomorrow. But I feel like if it was a partner, it was like, well, we made these plans. It's just you and me. that's true you know yeah it was so nice everyone was smiling wave goodbye i think i really rolled down my window i was like you'll never see me again you want me to wait in that line get real grow up it really also made the whole line laugh everyone's like she's right this is ridiculous we also don't want to be waiting this long And then for a hot second, I was like, what if there's treasures? And I said, there's nothing in there for me. And I kept going home. You were right. There was like one flamingo mug for you. And Tessa got it for you. Yep. I won. You still got it. I fully won. Oh, I love that mug. I use it all the time. Oh, good. I put ice cream in it. I love eating ice cream out of a mug. And I use my Ninja Creamy. This episode is not sponsored by Ninja Creamy. I love my Ninja Creamy. I should be sponsored by Ninja Creamy. I, if Ninja Creamy, like, wanted to partner with me on something, I would die. Yeah. Oh, I just want to, I want to, I want to meet a crematician. Like the cremateers, the people developing creamy technology. Oh. I want to learn. Mm-hmm. I don't understand it. You know what? there might be an ice cream making class on Airbnb. Allie or Mars, can you look up whether there's an ice cream to be had on Airbnb? Yeah, you can make Italian gelato in a professional lab. In a lab! You were looking for that! A cremetician! You ever get so excited, you're like, I'm going to do that! I'm going to space! Wait, that's so fun. I would really like to do that. Yes. Would you do that with me? Yeah. Shake on it. It's on camera. You promised. I'll do it. You break it. I'm coming to your house. I know where you live. We still have to do our date. We. Damn it. We do have to do our date. we have I got you a box of 100 dates was 100 no no 12 it's only 12 not 100 it's one per month one per month a date a month yes um and it's in these little sealed envelopes so we don't know what it is and then we have to open it and then go on the date but the first time what happened I can't remember what happened but I know the last time we we were supposed to do it uh you had just gotten your tooth pull and you were like really out of it. Yes. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Life without that tooth has been a wild ride. A rollercoaster of ups and downs. Oh. Because I'm no longer in pain. Yeah. I didn't realize how much of a pain it was. Yeah. But there's just a hole back there. It's crazy. That's pretty wild. It's really crazy. Yeah. Sometimes my tongue will graze it. I'm like. The teeth aren't supposed to start there. It feels nuts. That's funny. And my mouth so it sometimes feels like I at the beach because it feels like wind is bringing sand into my mouth That the only way I can describe it because I have a bone graft And the bone graft, I guess, out of the graft is little granules. I don't know. I didn't ask follow-up questions. She just said it might be a little granny up in there. And I said, I got you. She didn't say it like that. She was much more professional. Might be a little granny up in there. bitch when you go home it's gonna get grainy your house gonna be grainy as hell but yeah sometimes it's just a little grainy it's a little strange okay because it's I've said it on many podcasts cadaver bones and cow bones yeah and I hope I don't get possessed I hope not either imagine that'd be pretty funny actually if I became a cow at least be more clear because if it's like oh okay the cow's taking over right now that's really nice to know that you would still be my friend if i even if i was like possessed by cow absolutely that's really nice i'd be your friend still if you got possessed by a cow every now and again thank you i would try to milk you i'm kidding i'm kidding i would never milk a friend It's not like the ghost of the cow can still produce milk. Hey, shut up. No, that absolutely makes sense. Sometimes my mind works wrong. You know, I've gotten into watches. Yes. I have so many watches now that I wish I was wearing one, but I got ready too late. but I was out to dinner with that nice man and I was like my watch doesn't work it's stuck on 610 and he was like oh well he's like you could get a battery and I was like no I don't really care it's just for the look and I went it's 610 somewhere and he was like no I was like what? he was like the joke is the time now and you go like when it's 6am or no like 3pm and someone's like, it's 3 p.m. somewhere to have a drink. Like, that's the joke? And I was like, what? But maybe it's 6.10 somewhere because the time zone. Maybe it is 6.10. He was like, maybe, but the joke is. And I was like, what? And it took me a really long time to understand what he was trying to say to me. And I was like, and when I finally got it, I was like, oh, my God. You can't just say it willy-nilly time. You can't. It's the time now. Yeah, there's only like a few chances for it to be 16 somewhere. Yep. And this is at that same dinner. I put that we were celebrating something and the server said, what? And I said, Black History Month. So it was truly just like, bow, bow, bow. He's like, he's like, she's being insane tonight. That's fun. And then we were eating dessert and I was like, do you want, do you want more? Because it was soft serve ice cream. And he was like, yes. And I was like, your spoon's down. He was like, I'm taking a break. I was like, well, if you don't get back in the game, it might be gone. He was like, just say something for me. And I said, I don't know if that's possible. I can't stop myself. He deals with a lot. My girlfriend did that to me recently. I was like drinking this like lavender lemonade, something or other. And I like, I guess I was drinking it slowly. Because I had a lot of ice and I don't like ice. And then I went to the bathroom, came back and half of it was gone. And I was like, what happened to my drink? And she's like, you didn't like it. And I was like, did I say that? And as the other person, because I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm gobbling. How did, how did you feel? I felt betrayed. I was like, why didn't you ask me? She's like, you weren't drinking it fast. So I assumed you didn't like it. But I was like, you could have just said, do you like this? If not, I'll have it. I was like, I actually did like it. It was just too cold for me. That's really funny because I'm on her side. I would absolutely, sometimes he'll leave things on his plate and I'll be like, so you didn't like that so I can have it? He's like, I'm eating dinner. I'm just, I decided to, I went this way and I'm making my way over. And I'm like, I don't know, there's so much potato left. So I don't, you don't like those pureed potatoes. And he's like, just let me eat dinner. Just give me a sec. Just let me eat. But I'm like, you'd eat. I just, I don't get it. I'm on her side. I would suck that down. So I would have drank the whole thing while you were gone to get rid of it for you. Defend your honor. You don't like that tea. It's insulting her. Get it out of her face. But later he was like, I just, you know, and I was like, maybe we just don't share dessert. And he's like, that's not it. Maybe you calm down a little bit. I was like, you know, I like a prostitute. I have to really learn that like people eat at their own speed and I can't police it. That was a wild thing I just said. People eat at their own speed and I can't police it. I mean, it is wild for me because I'm an eater and you know that. And I have done that to other people too and been like, you're not done with that chicken sandwich? Let me have some. Do you remember when we went to Burger King? we were was i hot well we both were both high we were both high i think we took an uber yes and then i also told ask the driver if he wanted to order too yes he was like i'm good and we got back to the hotel room this is funny because the next morning you were like squatting eating? I was like, why are you doing it like that? Anyway, so we're eating Burger King in bed and you, in two bites, the sandwich was gone? Wait, I think you ate it in the car. I did eat it in the car, so I had finished already. You just had maybe french fries left? Yeah. But it was truly wild. We handed you the food and then I got my food and then you were like... It was gone. It was so funny. And then for whatever reason, Sitting in bed, I was just like, I go. I didn't watch television. Take another bite and put it down. Then you went. I felt like I was shaking. I was like, I can't believe you just put the sandwich on the nightstand like that. And you're not even. Are you going to. Are you done? You slowly looked at me and went. Are you going to. and I was like yes but in your defense it's the slowest I've ever eaten anything I couldn't believe it you were setting it down in between bites and I was like she clearly doesn't want it never done that before in my whole life that's how high I was I couldn't handle chicken you're like near tears are you gonna eat that I think you ended up eating some of it. You did look scared. You were like, yes, I'm going to eat it. And yeah, I think eventually you were like, you can just have the rest. You can just have it. Which is also another thing I've never done. I finish meals. I, too, am an eater. Yeah. I think the weed had different reactions on us. That's a good memory. Yeah. I haven't thought about that in years. It was really funny. You crazy. I don't even think you were looking at me. I think you were looking at the sandwich. He's so funny. I'm like, thank you. No, the chicken sandwich. And I can't remember, were they long chicken sandwiches? Ooh, I don't know. Ooh. I say that because when I was in Guatemala, I saw a billboard that had the long chicken sandwich and they don't have them anymore. They do have them. What? I don't think the long chickens it's a staple and I don't think it's ever been discontinued I was like, ooh, a treat. I didn't get it. You didn't get it? I can't have fast food. It'll tear me up. I think you could have in Guatemala. Oh, probably. They'd probably use real ingredients. When Poonam and I were in Menorca, Majorca, we had Burger King like three times, four times. We ate it so much that people were like, well, it must be good if they keep going back. And it was so good. The long chicken was so good. Ooh, maybe you could have had it. It's okay. next time you leave the country, eat some Burger King. I will. Taste the cuisines of the land, but make sure you get to the, you get that whopper. The king said you can have it your way. I can have my way. That's such a good slogan. Yeah. You can have it your way. You're the boss here. I do like that. I also like McDonald's. I'm loving it. I'm loving it. What did I say? Mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. I'm loving it. Wait, that was so crazy because I was like, I did it good. Why is she doing it back at me? We should probably end this episode. Oh, yeah, okay. It feels like I'm on drugs. What was in those spicy queso pop chips? Jagged you up. Well, this year, suck it down. Thank you so much for being here. I truly have so much fun with you always. I have so much fun with you always. You're my Galentine. You're my long-established female friendship. Is that what you said? Something almost as insane as that. Well, if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like it, you can rate it, you can... Oh, wait, do you have anything you want to promote? Oh, Best Friends. That's our podcast. That's our podcast. and that's it. You can also watch Agatha all along. It's streaming on Disney Plus. And so she is truly incredible in it. And I don't know. I think it's like a lovely thing to watch. Also, if you watched it, rewatch it. I don't know. It's a great rewatch. It's fun. You find things that you didn't see the first time. And there's an episode where her face gets all puffy. I won't explain anymore. And if you like this episode, you can like it, you can rate it, You can subscribe, give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. Oh, wait, would you date me? Yes. Would you, though? Maybe I'd try. Hey, thanks. I figured I'd stop you right there before you said something mean. Something I wouldn't want to hear. Wait, have I asked you? Have I asked as sure as you would date me before? I think so. at one point I don't know I don't know if it was through every episode I've done here but I think you've at least asked me once I wonder what those answers are I feel like one time I did say yes at least at least once once I said yes well I just I think maybe we could try but I think I think I would do a lot of things that would get on your nerves and vice versa you're not perfect the hell I think I think the things that we like about each other, I think together we would start to resent each other about it. Yeah, I think it would just not go very far. Yeah, romantically. I think eventually we'd be like, I don't think we're compatible in that way. What would it be like to kiss? Also, if you write me a dirty message, it ain't got me. Well, I said it and I was like, I don't know if I could. It would be like kissing a sister. Exactly, I don't think. I would feel like Marty McFly when he goes back and his mom has the hots for him and then they kiss and they're like, whoa, Marty, I don't know what was up with that, but it didn't feel right. I'm paraphrasing. I shouldn't say it like that. If you write me a nasty message to why won't you date me podcast at gmail.com and you got a hit on me saying something nasty. I'll read it out loud. And also, I have to tell you, please keep them short. I have to tell you. I have to tell you. Well, it's because there was another page here and I was like, uh-oh, did I miss something? I didn't. All right, this person writes, Hi, Nicole. Valentine's Day is for your boo, but they say Galentine's is for the girls. To celebrate, I want to scissor you so hard that the friction of our clits starts a fire and set off the smoke alarm. But before the fire truck even turns the corner, we'll come in unison. This is funny. Squirting so much that we extinguish the flames ourselves. But the fire department doesn't take chances. They will bust down the door and blast our throbbing hot coochies. Oh, I guess, yeah, we started a fire, so they would be hot. With their high-pressured hoses until we come again, drenching the room. The men in the entire zip code and our coochie juice. Hope you have a nice Galentine's Day and Valentine's Day from Sandra. Hey, Sandra. I don't know. Oh, wasn't that just a point? Yeah, I couldn't think of a thing to say. Oh, thank you. Yeah, she made you come multiple times. Say thank you. Thank you, Sandra. Happy Galentine's Day and happy Valentine's Day. That was a HeadGum podcast. Thank you