Sarah Sherman

My guest today is I'm a big fan of I fell in love with her on Instagram. Hey, buddy, my eyes are down here. Before and then she got sorry. I was very excited. Here we go. She does great on Sorry Live, mostly update, right? Yes. But that's good. That's some people don't do well anywhere. Where to go? Look, we all need you need to be you need Joe to fuck with. Yeah. Anything could happen. I could have a nip slip right now. Sarah, you're buttoned up to your neck. You don't know where my nipples are. OK, I feel like I know where most people's nipples are. Do you? This just in. Local pervert Colin Jost claims he's seen most people's nipples. And she's got an HBO special that's great. And I watched it twice because I got scared because I thought I hadn't watched it. I had watched it, but whatever. And her name is Sarah Sherman, and she's a K Sarah Scorm and the the the the HBO special is called Live and in the flesh. It's great. You were the first person to reach out to me and say you liked it, by the way. See, I'm a nice I and I always. Think I'm going to stop. But any whenever I'm like whenever someone makes a good thing, I'm like, this is great. Like it means so much. It means so it means so much more than you could ever imagine. I've heard like people are like, oh, you probably get this all the time. And I'm like, no, I don't. No, I don't get it. Ever. I would love anything. The best. Again, I'm named Robbie as always. Jerry Sanifal released a special. Uh-huh. I emailed him and he called me within 40 seconds. Awesome. Of the email hitting it. Uh-huh. Like talk about it. It it never stops meaning a lot to people. It means a lot. Now you did take some shots of Jerry Sanifal. You did you. You she uses a lot of the Sunfield theme. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for coming. Did you pay for it? Yeah. Expensive. We got a deal on it, which is funny to. Yeah. Like we got fucking so Jewish. We got a deal on the sign called theme. Because I guess it was so expensive that no one's like ever used it. I guess. So they were selling it for cheap. I got I got the producer in there to haggle it down. And I kept being like because I was really I really wanted all the money to go on that set design. Yeah. And all the producers working on my special were like, you can't cut. I was like, we'll just cut the the sign felt thing is too expensive. And they're like, we'll figure something out to get the sign felt thing. How much was the set? I'll cut it if it's too crazy. It's why it's like it's like intestines basically. Yeah, but it's made out of garbage bags. Oh, yeah. Talk about art. A scrappy set. The production designers behind like Omeri and they are doing Rocky Horror Picture Show now. So they're theater. So they know how to be fucking scrappy. Yeah. And they were amazing. And they were they're so fucking funny. They were like, OK, they would build. I have a stroke. I'm not going to park. I can't fucking talk. Stop it. But they were like, what if you entered the stage by crawling out of a butthole? Right. You know, it's a very. The was funny. That's not your idea. Yeah, it was like that had to come. No, exactly. And the only reason we didn't do that. I was I was like, you're a genius. OK, we'll crawl through a sphincter. That'll be my opening. Yeah, I'll crawl the. But the only reason we didn't end up doing that was because it was going to be a little more expensive and we wanted to be able to pay for the Seinfeld theme song. And we realized because we're taking two shows in one night that we would have to get a bunch of pickups of me like crawling out and falling out. And it would have fucked your hair up. I would have fucked my hair up. Yeah, which I was willing because I grab my hair weirdly a lot. And this I'm always like grabbing my hair and scratching my head. All right, well, I want to talk about you and your what's your origin story? Because what? Because there are some people that when you see them, you go, yep, that's what they're supposed to look like. This is the look. It was the look for it. And then I and when I looked at it was like you went to Northwestern. You probably were a good student. When did it happen? When did you like, wait a minute, John Waters? Wait a minute, David Lynch. Al Yankovic. Well, hey, my God, I I I've been like this since I'm a kid. So like some of the same items, I would think. Yes, ma'am. Someone would said a comedian whose name I won't name. We probably both know him was like, you're going to hit 30 and this whole thing's not going to age well. Well, guess what? I'm 30 fucking three, bro. Fucking and you were right. Who do you who do like that cat dragon or whatever? I looked you up to it was like, what do you look like at Northwestern? Yes, it's this. Maybe it's slightly different, like less. Yeah, maybe less. Yeah, like less eye shadow and gloss. But like same basic idea. Same basic idea. When did it hit you? All right. Well, I always wanted to be a comedian. Right. I grew up watching Seinfeld constantly. I grew up watching a lot of the nanny and Golden Girls, which I think is why I look like this. Yep. You know, whose mom created the Golden Girls? Sam Harris, the intellectual meditation guy. So my mom is Susan Harris and she created a bunch of shows. But the one that was most seen and impactful was the Golden Girls. For some reason, I was like Sam Harris, Columbine guy. No, no, close though. Really close. Really close. So you watch a lot of Golden Girls. I just always wanted to be a comedian. And then like I did my first open mic when I was like 17 at the Hog. On Long Island. Hog Pit NYC. I took the LIRR with my friend Ethan Mirmelstein to because it was like at the Hog Pit. You didn't have to be 21 to get in because it was a barbecue restaurant. Oh, in the West Village? Yeah. Yes. Do you remember it? Yeah. Open mic there. And I wore a bow tie. I did. Sure enough. Of course I did. Sparkly or just regular? Regular, but I remember I remember exactly what I was wearing. I was wearing a bow tie, a little skirt. OK, someone hearing a 16 year old wearing a little skirt is getting hard right now. And then I was wearing what do you call those shoes like Oxford shoes? Like like like preppy shoes. Like black and white like Elvis shoes. Like spats or something. Like plait like loafers. Like like lace up like spats. Is that right? OK, yeah. Spats are the thing I think you put on top. Oh, they're like white and black. But they look like a black toe and like a yeah. Yeah. So shoes like that I remember exactly what I was wearing. I have a question. Why do women always remember what they were wearing? Because. It's almost like, you know, when someone says like a traumatic moment happens and so you can remember what it smelled like and what everything looked like. Yeah. And for girls, it's close. But why? But it's so many moments. That's so interesting. I don't know. I mean, closer life. It's like the same thing. That's like how I build memory. I don't know what the analogy is. We're like guys always. I don't remember. Guys always remember when this game was on. I always remember that because the game was on. But I remember like not that it was a traumatic memory, but the host made fun of me. I don't remember what he said. So of course I have like a memory of like I see the hog pit NYC neon sign without a pig on it. I see my outfit. I know where I was sitting in the room. I fucking wish I could find out who that host was. What did they say? God damn it. What did that sound like? Something about like me wearing a bow tie. I can't remember, but I was like. And my jokes obviously weren't good. Do you think of course, were or were not? Still to this day. They were. They were good. They were not good. That's I wear. I might have a bone to pick about that as well. Okay. So you do you think your style is good? Your physical, your, your fashion brand is good or is it just what it has to be? It's right for you. It's right for me. And then of course, like every a fashion week will roll around every year and I'm like, I can't get invited to anything. Because I'm like, well, what's interesting is like, I didn't realize until I was on a two year that, you know, people have stylists. So you it's very rare that you see a public person's like actual personal style. A lot of times. It makes you a sexual. Do you think it, do you think it desexualizes you? Because that's what it's like, because like that's where I go. Like, well, why would they want one girl and not you? I'm telling, I'm telling a lot of guys are into the way I look. I believe Blake. Are they? Trust. The freaks come out. Trust and believe. You trust and believe the freaks come out. But it is funny. Like now it's been an interesting experience with SNL is like, I put a wig on in normal clothes and people are like, holy cow, you're a looker. Everybody's complaining about eggs being expensive. It's like, so what? Adapt. I've been eating my own eggs for months. And I'll have you know, they make a very runny omelet. And I'm like, do I look that terrible? My. No, I know. It doesn't take like an incredible like a sci-fi imagination. What would she look like with shoulder length hair? It is. Well, the mullets down to my shoulder. I mean, please, but not, but not all the. Well, the rat. Front of the shoulder. Right. Right. Right. The rat tails down the back, but it is just like, it is funny how little imagine or I don't know if it's like how little imagination people have or how like limited their palette is. Yeah. That it's like, I only look good if I have blonde hair and a T-shirt like, hello. What have you seen in your life? Yeah. Yeah. Cause I that's what I'm saying. Like you are good looking, but it almost seems like you're like, yeah. But I don't, I'm not really, it's like, I'm not competing in that. I have my own thing that I'm doing. I've legit always looked like this. Like I've had the same hair basically. Since I'm like. You cut it yourself. No, but it does look like I get it cut in a dumpster, don't I? Hey, actually shout out to Gina, who does all the crack head wigs on SNL. She does my hair, if you could believe. Great. The Jody, the lead, the lead wig and hair designer on SNL was when I rolled through, she was like, I know exactly who should be cutting your hair. It's the same girl who does like wigs for female bald freaks and all the sketches or like if there's like a mullet or like a Mohawk, that's what she's, she's assigned to that wig. Done. All right. So you, you get, all right. So it just occurred, like this is just your shit. Like, like certain people, like you're 10, 11, and you just are watching certain movies and certain and you're like, this is it. I, and do you fight it? Or are you just like, no, this is. Unassailable. I, I don't know if you agree or can relate to this, but being a comic, you know, you meet all types of people who fell into comedy in different ways. And I always see, find it so interesting when I meet people who didn't want to be comedian. Oh, I fell into this and I was like 30 and I'm like, I can't even, I'm like, I, I've never, and it's been a prison because if it didn't work out for me, I mean, it's every day, by the way, I could, it could not be working out for me very soon. But if it didn't work out in this way, I don't know what I would have been doing. And it's not that I hate when people say like, Oh, I have to do comedy because it's all I can do. It's like, please, but it's like all I've ever, ever wanted to ever do in my whole life. I've never had a different want, desire, dream, nothing. So it's interesting when people are like, Oh yeah. So you like, but friends was on. I didn't really watch friends. You just didn't care about. I didn't see friends until recently and I watched one episode and I immediately started sobbing. Why? Because I like knew about friends because of Matthew Perry. Oh my God. It was before that, but now I can watch it. I think I was like, I knew about the like, I knew all the lore and I knew like Ross, Rachel, like the end. We were on the break. And so I knew all about it. And then when I was watching it, I was like, Oh my God, they really do love each other. I don't know. I'm very sensitive. Did you. All right. So you, but you see, you saw Golden Girls, you saw whatever you were watching, designing women. Did that hit you? No, but I would, I would, I loved so bad. So, okay. Do you think I should try to be like down the middle attractive, funny, like who were the famous comedians when you were with this 2000? Standups that I like, because I grew up on Long Island. Yeah. And I remember the Sunday Times newspaper on my like, my dad was reading it at breakfast and there was an article about the Creek in the cave. And it was like, Louie CK drops in at Creek in the cave, this new hip spot for, and so I was like, what? Louie's going to this little play, whatever. So like, I went there to like see comedy. Like I was just, I was just addicted to comedy and like 2006. I mean, I'm what? 21. I wonder when that article, I just have such a clear memory of this, like, because that's how I found out. I mean, it's like, thank God I grew up on Long Island because I could just go do that. Or like, I remember I found Todd Berry from like YouTube and I was addicted to Todd Berry and like, Oh my God. He's the funniest guy ever. He's so and like, you know, I was addicted to Joan Rivers, but I found out about, I mean, probably the way I look is because of Joan Rivers. But yeah, even though she was very, it looks, you look Phyllis Diller. I mean, well, I didn't find out about Phyllis Diller until like more, actually my twenties, which is weird because now she's obviously the blueprint. And like Judy T'Nuta or something like that. Like, I love Phyllis Diller. It's my favorite. And that's like another thing. Like I found myself, you know, because you do a lot of like podcasts and stuff to talk about the special and people are like, Oh, like body horror or humor. Like, where did you get? And it's like Phyllis Diller was doing that way before me. Talking about like my tits are on the floor. Yeah. You know, whatever. What's her husband's name in all of her. Fang. My husband. He went to the dentist the other day. The dentist told me he's got the worst set of tooth he ever saw in his life. Okay. So you were like, I'm going to be a comedian, but you're also smart. So you go to Northwestern. I asked the guidance counselor at my high school because I was like, we had to everyone, we all had to do meetings with the guidance counselor about where we wanted to find out where we wanted to go to college. So I had my, my scheduled guidance counselor time. And he was like, I was, he was like, what do you want to do? I was like, I want to be comedian. He was like, go to school in Chicago. So then I just applied to every school in Chicago. And that was it. He changed my life. He was like, if you want to be a comedian, go to Chicago. It's where all the comedians go. I go, okay. He could have said MYU though, but he was a cool. He like knew that like all the, you know what I mean? And then when I went to Northwestern, I was in for a rude awakening because it was nowhere near Chicago. Yeah. So I had to take the purple line all the way in. And that's what 25 minutes? Yeah. I was kind of far, but I was, but I thank God. Cause then I stayed in Chicago for kind of a while. I was there. I graduated school in 2015. And then I stayed there too. I moved to LA in 2019. Guys, I've been in this, this, the shakeable drinkable meal to go liquid game for a while. Ask your mother. And it's, I've been out here is, is what I'm saying. So Huell, I used to go with another one. They were bad. Huell has stepped up. Good packaging. They got the RTD ready to drink. Shaky, shaky, shaky. I do say it all the time. 70% vanilla, 20% chocolate. Shake it up. Then I take the excess of vanilla, put it in the chocolate bottle and then that whatever it's, that's how we do it. We have a whole system. And I get to skip a meal because I don't, I'm, I can be a little tardy and I fall behind and I forget. And then I'm like, I, I blame, try to blame everybody for why I'm late. It's me. It's not the train. It's me. Um, I don't know my shower. No, Neil, you started to it. 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Well, you can't see what, but you got it. Harry's dot com. Have his handle. OK, so are you like, how were you doing in life? You're from like a two parent home? Yeah. And two parent home. Really supportive. Very supportive. Yeah. But you have anxiety. Yes. Duke's from the from the from the jump. I think the older I get, the worse it gets. Like I was like kind of a serious child. I always had really bad nightmares and I was always like, I think now I'm like a really colorful, crazy adult because it's almost like making up for the fact that I was so serious in my childhood. Like I was very kind of like, I was like kind of emo. I was like addicted to like I was a big reader as a kid. So I was like, I read The Shining when I was like too young. And I read like I was addicted to like Sherlock Holmes books and like Edgar Allen poems and I would memorize them. Like I was like really. What were you what did you think you were doing? Like this guy gets it. Emo, I guess. But was it like I'm going to be emo when something's going to happen or I like the way this makes me feel in the moment? I think like what I was accessing at that time in my life was then later satisfied when like, you know, someone, my senior year of high school was like, you would like David Lynch. And I'm like, what's that? You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, you know, the uncanny and the bizarre and the eerie was intriguing to me as someone who's it's not. And I don't think David, I don't like David. Like I'm like, tell what's how I don't just need random imagery. What are we getting at? That's the unconscious. We're getting at the unconscious, which is the collective space where we all live and we can access through meditation and dreams. You want to be. No, no, no, I but I guess it's like it's it's too kind of wacky for like the unconscious to me is like is is more ethereal and less like spooky. Like, but do you pay attention to your dreams? I well, funnily enough, I have pretty much the same dream every night for the last 20, 25 years, which is I work at Sirat Live and Lauren Michaels is mad at me. And I wish ever kidding. Yeah. I have it. I've had it. Before I like I've never like it's I don't know why I can't get rid of it. Right. I don't I know Lauren a little bit. He's nice. He's not mad at me. Right. It's just like work stress dream, obviously at a place I never worked, but barely worked later. But so this is interesting because I think this is not yours is you work at Chappelle show and see David. Yeah. Yeah. I work at Chappelle show. I came up with Black Clan member. Yep. Thank you. And everyone's a pure genius and section on nightmare. It's an amazing. I think that a lot of people have obviously I have the SNL nightmares. But mine are more specific. But the actually my recurring SNL nightmare is that we are blocking a sketch on the floor. There is a prop toilet. And I knowing it's a prop toilet shit in it. I pull my pants down and I shit in it. Everyone's looking at me like what are you doing? That's not connected to anything. And everybody's looking down at me and I'm looking up at them and I'm like, I don't know why I did that. I don't know. And I have the run out or is the scene just ends dream wise where it's like it's just over. You're just well then I'm like the dream is like me like stewing in humiliation. Yeah. And like sitting there like ruminating and going crazy and being like, why did I do this? I knew it wasn't connected to any pipes. Why did I do it? Well, all my dreams are like that. But I think many people have. SNL is such a big deal to so many people because it does live in the collective unconscious. Yeah. It is it haunts everyone. I mean, it's a cultural institution and there's like so much baggage there. And so it's interesting now as someone who's been on the show for five years. It's like I become like a weird cipher or something for people's dreams. Because everyone has such a crazy relationship to it, especially comedians. Like you're like dealing with like your. It's approval, rejection, authority, institution. Yeah. What do you I think having said that, I think dream analysis is stupid. Um, but because it's so obvious to me, it's just like literally like work stress. I want to succeed in comedy and stress out. Well, my analyst said three days a week. I've been good money for it, girl. I'm having a hard time. He thinks that that shitting dream is like about like the excrement is like anxiety about like putting yourself out there. Like you're like, you're like every week I'm like showing people my stuff. That's why I hate dream analysis, because I could just make another read of it. That's just as valid. And everything in therapy is just maybe, maybe, maybe, you know, Freud had a theory. It's a, it's all a theory, but. Okay. So what do you, so you, did you ever feel like isolated? Do you feel like by your taste, by your style, do you feel like. Uh, won't, won't we? What is that? Do you feel lonely? It's a cute pronunciation of lonely. I am. I just like, I don't want to say this. I'm a Jewish woman. I have constant like deprivation, all anxiety, like everything's going to go away in a moment. And like paranoia and like, uh, I think women can probably do all that. I'm always paranoid that I'm like delusional. Like one day someone's just going to like walk in and be like, you suck. You've always sucked. Everyone knows it. And you're an idiot, you know, whatever. And it's like, you got everything you have by mistake. It was an accident, you know, something like that. So having said. But what about the successes you've had? Well, having said that, it is kind of like my, my, my odd style of comedy. I'm so dehydrated, my piss comes out thick and brown. Like I'm squeezing an old bottle of mustard into the bowl. Sometimes I find myself on the other end of it. I wouldn't change anything about myself. I wouldn't have it any other way. But it's an odd mix with my like paranoia and anxiety. Because I'm like, this is not for everyone. And it isn't for everyone. And does that mean I won't be able to do this for the rest of my life? And people really hate it, which I kind of revel in like doing a show at like stand up live Phoenix. I walk that room girl. I'm 75% of that room is walking out by the end of the show. So like. That's I would, I stand up live as it's a hard room for me. Like I'm like down pretty middle and it's like, whoa, there's a lot of this is way better than I thought it was going to be. Why are there 400 people in a mall? And why are they all leaving in droves? I showed one picture of a prolapse anus that I made myself, by the way. That was what did it? It was like, because in the special, when it starts getting the video stuff, that's when they people usually like book it. Respect. But like, so it's this weird, like I, I simultaneously like I, I kind of get off on freaking people out, obviously, but there's like the paranoid, like self loathing thing kicks in and it's like, it's a weird push and pull kind of. What is that thing? Cause I don't, I have it a little bit, but like the sort of you like pushing people into like look at it. What is it? Just like, what's your therapist say that is it? Do you know what I mean? Like I get it because I have a little bit of a bit of like, I'll do it. And then if it doesn't work, I'll be right. Well, it's the same thing of like, you know, comedians or like, you know, clowns, you know, whatever, push it, you know, like using humor as like a defense mechanism or whatever. I would say the biggest self defense mechanism is like literally using like shock and awe and like horror to push people away. But like being a comedian, you want, you need laughter. You're like a bottomless hole. You need the laughter. You need the love you want to pull people in with like humor. But at the same time, you're like, obviously like pushing people away with like, you know, 85 layers of like irony and like clownery and buffoonery. So where are you, but where's why? Where's your home from? Cause your parents approved. I literally, it's so weird. I just think I'm a crazy Jewish person. I think it's crazy. Yes. Yes. Fine. Fine. Hey, sure. It is just, I don't just, I was just, I having crazy anxiety. I don't know why it's always been there. I want to let go of it. Do your parents have it? Yes. I don't think they know it really. What do they think it is? My dad, I have like a kind of like really old school New York dad. He's really funny. And I was dealing with like some anxiety stuff when I was like a teenager and he's like a tough guy and he's like, bro, like fucking, if you need to fucking talk about something, cause you're all like twisted up in there, like I fucking get like, I know what it's like to be twisted up in there. Like you just sometimes need people to untwist it. And I was like, that was just the perfect way to put it. Cause I thought he would be very like anti therapy. Cause he's like a tough guy. Um, but he put it, he just put it really well. I was all twisted up in there. I just needed someone to untwist it a little bit. What did they, what did they untwist it? It's a process. Great. I can't wait to hear about this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. So Neil, do you use it? I do use it. I had somebody else managing it for me, but I decided, you know what, Neil? They came on to sponsor, go on there, get after it yourself. And I've done that pretty significantly. Is it, is it amazing yet? No, but I'm definitely working on it. I've, I've, I've updated some stuff, updated some logos, updated. There was no link for crazy good on there, which is my most recent Netflix pleasure. It was an oversight. And then you click that and it'll take you to Netflix and I could, there's a trailer and whatever. So that's good for, good for you, Neil. What else did I put on there? I just, it's, I, I worked on the layout a little bit, different photos. It's better. It's not done yet. It's not done yet. Most of it because I don't have much to offer right now. Once I go on tour, I'm going to, I'll have to set up the tour thing, but they, here's the stuff that they have that it again, used to be, you used to have to do it on 40 different websites. Here's now you can get mailing lists. People can sign up for your mailing list. You can do merch. You can do video. You can do charity SEO stuff. There's just so much more stuff on the square space that you can use. I have, I have a bunch of shirts that I still need to sell. I'm going to throw those up there. It used to be hard to find, you used to have all the different sites or like a, you know, whatever, like a tree or whatever it's, you can put it all on one site, one address, your name or the name of your, whatever you want your name to They also sell domain names, which was a different website used to you have to use it's all on square space now, kitten. Get after it. Go to square space, build a website. The thing you've always been like in the back of your head, maybe try. It's so simple. It's, it's another one of these things that I feel like the way I feel about editing video on my phone, considering I used to edit on, um, first thing I did, it was on film. So I, real or real. So, um, so it's exciting. I feel this way about square space where it's like the, the stuff you can do on, on in one place with basically a clickable button is incredible. Here's what you got to do. You're ready. Head to square space.com slash any AL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code any AL pretty good. Head to square space.com slash any AL for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code any AL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain that's square space.com slash any AL. Do it. Try it. It's fun. Just go on there. It's, it's at the very least it'll be interesting. And you might catch the bug. See you on there, kiddo. Okay. So you feel like your style, the way you do it, because you have like one of your blocks is like not your, you put kind of bad at stand up. And I'm, what I'm saying is the style, it'd be like saying Chris Fleming's not going to stand up. Do you know what I mean? Like it's just cause it's not like the normal way to do it. It doesn't mean, but I understand like, I wish there were times where I'm like, man, I wish I had a different act. I wish I didn't have my point of view. My vocal cords, which you were nice enough to show close up of your vocal cords. Those are my tiny little vocal cords. My vocal cords, my brain, my butt. It's doing, you're doing well. And it's also like you, your jokes. But what in, would you want to write the same kind of jokes? I that's special. That's all I have. I cut out, I cut out 20 minutes. So there's 20 minutes on the chopping block. Basically, and so I'm starting from ground zero and I'm going like, what the fuck? Yeah. And that there's this thing like, you know, clip culture and like the speed of the internet, you know, stand-ups are putting out specials like once a year. And I'm like, I am not meant for this life. Yeah. I was born in the wrong fucking time. And I like, remember, you know, all these like norm interviews he talks about, like people are like, why don't you put out a special? And he's like, fuck, because what am I going to fucking do with the night club? Yeah. And I like, I just, I never related to anything more. I'm not fast. Like, do you know Jeff Asmas? He's the funniest guy ever. Yeah, you're so funny. You can write new 10 minutes a day. Yeah. I cannot do that. Yeah. I'm never going to be who I am. I just wish I was a little better at writing jokes. Like I wish it came out easier. I wish it wasn't such a fucking whole thing. I've been doing stand-up for like 10 fucking years and I have like barely an hour. Yeah. I mean, who is that? Yeah. I mean, that's just what it's I'm on my sixth hour. It's crazy. I know. And it's like, it's very slow. And I'm like, I'm on shows with people that are on their first hour, their second hour, and I can, I'm imagining them being like, this fucking can't. I'm like, guys, I don't know what to tell you. Like, yeah, it's by the time I get there, it'll be great. But it's going to be sad before I get there. I don't know. It's like, it's just going to be sad and we all have to just accept it. And by we all, I mean, I have to accept it. You have to accept it. It's going to be sad. The, I think about Rodney all the time too, where it's like, how many fucking jokes? Oh, how many jokes? He's over his in his lifetime. One million. Well, you've heard stories about Rodney where he'd call people, he'd call Sagittarius called Normandy like, Hey, Bob, is this funny? And it's like one in the morning. And he's just like running jokes all the time because his jokes are 18 seconds long. And he needs a hundred. Yeah, you need so many of them to do an hour. And then the ones that don't work and nightmare. But that's the, to quote Jerry Seinfeld, nobody ever had too much material. Nobody ever, it's just never had, nobody's ever had too much. It's impossible. So that's like the, the awfulness of it. But the good news is in terms of clips or in terms of like generating new material, you are on a show where there are people that can help. I think that's what's yes. And I think that's what's interesting also. Like I have a lot of my coworkers. I find myself, I'm like fucking writing a lot at SNL. He all gets cut. Nobody sees it. So it's like, yeah, I guess I don't have that much like material in my head. I don't have as much material as I'd like, but I guess it's like, I have so much material that's in a fucking incinerator. I have so many sketches that never we'll see the light of day. And it's like my coworkers like Cam, Marcelo, Tommy Brennan, they all like do go to the comedy cellar at like midnight after a long day of work to like just get jokes off. Yeah. And I just wish I had the wherewithal. Are you tired? I'm exhausted, but I'm like, damn, they're fucking hustling. But that's like, yeah, that's healthy. Because it's like after a long day of getting all your shit cut, it probably feels like good to have something not. Yeah, like I'm, it's a good reminder that like, oh, I'm funny. Yeah. I used to do that. I like when I was before, yeah, where I, I'd pitch stuff and people would be like, no, get that before it's about whatever. I don't know when I would do it, but I'd go and be like, no, I think I can do it. Yes. Um, okay. So just don't, the thing you're doing, you have an audience. Right. So like just, you just need to do what you're doing and take as long as it takes because like that. I feel pressure though, because so many people are making so much stuff so fast. I'm just slower. I tell me about it. I mean, what are you going to do? Like if Josh Johnson does an hour every two weeks, it's just like, I, okay, I can't do that. I, what do I, I know when we were quiet, like, I don't, and you saw, you, you saw the special like, you know, it's like the first 45 minutes or jokes, but then that last chunk is like all these videos. Like I made my, you know, like, yeah, what bathing suit could contain all this? We look at the screen. Look at the screen, sir. And they're so, it's so dense. Yeah. And it's so fast. Like I'm not like, there's videos in that thing that I made like five years ago. I made like a little hang nail with wax by hand or whatever. And that probably took like a good full day. And I blow by it in like 10 seconds. So it's like, it's just, I just have a slower time means something very different to me. Yeah. You just have to hope that people stick around. Yeah. Next special. Somebody said like you're, was like, just hope that you're shod day. Like, it's like, Shaday released records every like seven years. Right. But they were just like, ah, I love Shaday. Right. I mean, Desmond, it was just like five years. Yeah. Guys, wait. Norm was, that took his time and then he died. Okay. What do you think? How do you, do you think you're, I think you're very successful at that. Do you think that you're, do you want to be more successful? Do you feel like your style doesn't fit? I haven't figured out really how to do. I mean, this sounds like it's the whole show, but like, I want to be better at doing fucking live sketches. Different than update. Yeah. Like update is really, it's fun. You're fun. By the way, like I saw you saying that people get mad at you for breaking, but like you you're the way you, the updates I've seen, you're really fun because you're like out of control and in control. You're like in wild, but like don't cut them when you're like, don't cut to Joe's fucking whole air. And like, I'm, I'm sure they were like, no, it's fine. You know what I mean? The, the, especially with the updates, like those come together so last minute. It's like a weird, the show has so many different pieces where it's like the pre-taped sketch is like, they're like a whole different producing unit. We can update it. It's it's our own little show, like inside the show. And the way those bits come together is like kind of more last minute in the sense that you're not like blocking it until the day of the show. Yeah. And so they're looser and wilder because they don't come together until last minute. And then, so it's like, you know, Colin hasn't seen me in a monkey suit until like a couple of hours before the show. So he's, it's loose. Yeah. It's just a little looser. And so it's fun. It's like more playful in that way. So I think that's why I'm like kind of laughing. Because it's like, I'm not in the suit until basically it's on TV. It's not all together until it's on TV. So you feel like if you're doing sketches and you're doing blocking on Thursday and Friday, it feels stale by the time you do it or not stale, but like not as wild. It's less loose. It's less crazy. Well, yeah, it's also blocking you have to be. Yeah. There are and yeah. There's like, there's like, you know, five cameras. There's like, you know, it's a more dynamic coverage and there's like other people in it. And, you know, there's like a thing and like update is just way looser. The thing is just like, you're a weird character and you're like interacting with not another character interacting with your friend, Colin. Yeah. So it's just like, and because there's less, like I could do anything. I could like lunge across the desk. I do whatever the camera will pick it up. I don't have to like worry about, you know, not getting this person's line or whatever. But that's so sketches are so much harder and there has to be more there. There like, I can have like a fraction of an idea and be like, that'll be an update. Yeah. Like it's like barely holding on to anything. Yeah. It's just like a vibe or a voice or a costume. But a sketch has to be like a million different things at once. And I think people don't realize how hard writing a good sketches because I think with social media, it's just like a fucking garbage dump of just like a little video. Yeah. It doesn't have to have a beginning, a middle or end. Social media needs one premise. Yeah. Whereas a sketch needs like three. Yes. And a structure. As we were talking about with like SNL being in the collective unconscious, I think, you know, it's obviously, it's like a thing. People say like, it doesn't look so. And I'm literally like, you try to write a fucking sketch. That's funny. Yeah. It's very hard. Yeah. So like, I don't know. Yeah. I always whenever anybody says anything bad about us and I'm like, or they're going to submit or whatever. I'm like, think of people. There are people that don't care about anything but sketch comedy. And you have to try to make something that would impress them. Go go go on. God, that's all they do is think about sketches. Good. Will they say, OK, they know more about sketch like it's whatever. Lauren, Brian, like people that have Jo's to have been there a long time. It's like, they know more about sketches. Lauren's read, you know, 120,000 sketches at this point. It's really crazy. And I still haven't figured out how to do it. I don't know. I don't know how to make a good sketch. And have you not made a good sketch? I have, but it's like for me, it's few and far between. I get like, I can't. It's hard. I haven't gotten a live a sketch on the live show in a long time. Are people talking? Yeah, they're going. Are people like, what's going on? When they're. Are she? I think, well, it's like, I'll be like a so heartbroken about something getting cut and then people are like, you've had like five updates on the show. Like what's your. Yeah. And I'm like, but you know, when you get like, you're like, well, now it's like this thing that I have. Yeah, yeah. Every yeah, it's like you have a chip in it. You have a you're paranoid. You're paranoid. It's like a paranoid or something paranoid. You and it's like, but it's like, I want to make a good fucking live sketch. How's the angst? What are you doing about the anxiety? You taking pills? No, I go to therapy a lot. I don't know. People say it doesn't seem to work. Does it? What doesn't seem to work for you? I think so. I've been I've had a journey with therapy. I've been in a lot of kinds of therapy. Oh, talk to me. I started with like cognitive behavioral, which I really didn't like. How come? I mean, some of the stuff is like you learn the hacks like, oh, if you're having a panic attack, dunk your face in ice cold water or like, you know, fucking whatever this shit. Um, I don't like necessarily like compassionate therapy. Like your feelings are valid. Like I even say this line in the special, like my feelings aren't valid. I'm crazy. And at the end of every session, he's like, your feelings are valid. I'm like, no, they're not. I'm fucking crazy. Do you think that there is too much of a push for validating everybody's feelings? Yes, I do too. We'll be just, I think yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You're, I like that. My therapist tells me I'm like wrong and crazy. Yeah. What type of therapy is that? Um, I'm in analysis. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, yeah. And I used to be in like hardcore dream, youngie and dream analysis. So like, and that was like, did you read, did you read Young's book? Well, the red book when he went to get bread. No, no, no, no, no. The like his dream. It he had like a biography that's like pretty awesome. Yeah, I like, I mean, I like young. I like like James Hellman. I like the dream stuff. Young was like a warlock. Like he like as a kid, he was like had vision. Like he was kind of out of, he was. But he's his whole thing is kind of like the visions and the imagination and the dream stuff. It's like that gets beaten out of us. Yeah. Through school, society, whatever. Whatever. So I'm into that. That, but I was in hardcore dream analysis and that wasn't doing me any favors. So now I'm in a combination like you and the Connie and kind of thing. How do you find them? Crazy fellow crazy people. Do you just, is it like, fuck it, I'll try it. Well, I was complaining. I'm kind of like that with supplements where I'll just go on. Right. Are you like, and I'll just go like, I'll take that. Right. So he was like, Hey, are you into peptides yet? And I was like, not yet. But like, I can tell you that way. I can tell you the wins the way that's where we're headed. Would you do like meditation or anything like that? Yes, I do meditation every day. I do. I'm not currently in therapy, but like I've done everything. Did you UTM? Yeah, I got the, I got the paid 1100 bucks for, for a fake word and. I liked it. I stopped doing it literally for the reason that I need it, which is I like. The second I do Joe dispends it right now. So what is that? Just some goofy, some goofy chiropractor. Oh, no. Yeah, it's pretty goofy. Oh, no. I went to one meditation, but it's like it's the it's very fun. What is it? It's just it's just positive visualization. OK. Yeah. But but so are so so you how do you do you get try one become like this isn't working and then move? I'm very sensitive. So I was like any time it just it gets real. Like I had a therapist that I was like it was I forgot what his style is. Not confrontational. It's not instigational. It's called like. What's a synonym for confrontational or instigational antagonist? It's antagonist. It's called antagonistic, an antagonistic approach. We were like, I love you got to give me a number. I would have to. He would like fuck with you to be like. So you are you supposed to board stuff out? Kind of. And like he backs you into a corner. So you're like having to like fucking like defend your fight for your life, basically, and it was I'm too sensitive for that. So then I was complaining about this therapist. Do you can you give me a snapshot of an inner exchange between you two? Like, what do I want to say out loud? I love this. God damn. Well, I don't want to say that one. OK. OK, this one was a mild one. OK. I would be I was on the phone. I was doing phone therapy in a car. I was visiting my friend's family's beach house and Martha's vineyard. And I'm like, I'm on vacation. And he's like, how long are you on vacation for? I said two days. He goes, that's not a fucking vacation. A vacation, you know, whatever. So it's like, you know, and then you have to be like then you have. Why don't you on fucking vacation? And I'm like, I don't want to take time on my and what's so busy about your schedule, you know, and you just like. So what is it supposed to do? You're supposed to break you boundaries. Well, that's a thing. I didn't like it. So I stopped going. It doesn't sound like good therapy, but it's like aggressive. And it's like, I don't I actually think therapists should clap back as they. I mean, I think most of them should be in jail. Well, that's a whole other issue. It's like it's literally malpractice. What is going on with some people? I know the the amount of misinformation that being fed. I'm like, you're there for said you should do fucking. Yeah, they should be in jail. Yeah. Well, they're not supposed to say that you should do anything. Right. But if they're intelligent, they should. Right. Most of them. But the problem is again, it's it's the the issue of like every feeling is is valid. And I also think there's a thing in the last 10 years, like feelings now are like messages from God. And they can be. And you can have feelings that are real. But like why I didn't like cognitive behavioral therapy was like, I think it's OK to have a bad feeling and just notice that it's bad. Yeah. And then reflect on why you are having that reaction. Right. But and do nothing about it. You could do something about it. But I felt myself like incognito behavioral therapy being like this person makes me feel like this and it's like, well, that's not OK. And like, you know, maybe you should be cutting that person out of your life. And I'm like, well, shouldn't we think about maybe I'm fucking bringing something on the fucking table? That's crazy. You know, would you you'd you'd you'd push for that? You'd be like, or or it could it be me? Yeah. And would would you be right? I don't know. Well, was it helpful? I didn't find it to be helpful. You did. I didn't. You didn't find saying maybe it's you to be helpful. There is like a lot of like soothe, self soothing and self care stuff, which I is as someone who's never taken a vacation. I do think there's obviously validity in that. But there was so much self care and self soothing and not a lot of like, well, should we talk about how you're a crazy fucking bitch? Right. You know. Guys, the time for spring cleaning has come. And to be honest, I'm kind of excited this year. I'm trying to get rid of everything pretty much. I got a bunch of couches I can try to get rid of that I shouldn't have bought. My new plan is rent everything if I can across the board. Unfortunately, you can't rent deodorant, but I am going to get rid of my old deodorant. I just I didn't I'm not going to say I just started using a man to hold body deodorant because you know why I've been using it for what? Two years now I used it before they sponsored. Then during it, then they stopped. Now they're back. I never stopped and they sell it at Target. And you know, I mentioned that I was proud when I saw it there. Here's what I like about it. It smells good. Mount Fuji. You know, I like it. It doesn't leave like streaks on my clothes, which I also like. I can put it everywhere. I don't you. I don't really utilize that as much as I could, but I go beyond the pits. And it's it lasts a long time. 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Not a big drinker guys little every once in a while but not big. Sometimes I got it when I do commercials will go out with the client. Two one or two drinks for me makes a difference. It like I don't feel good in the morning and I got my watch who tells me I'm not doing I don't I didn't sleep good. You got the dehydration. You got it has depressing effects which you know I don't need. I'm talking about you know I'm talking about alcohol. It's just not it's not good. It's very popular alcohol and people love it and it's a social looper. They call it cheers restore is a dual action after alcohol aid. It's ingredients support both your brain and your liver after consuming alcohol. Cheers was originally invented by a student of Princeton based on research into a novel compound called DHM. DHM demonstrated powerful alcohol related properties in the brain and liver. So cheers was designed for how alcohol actually affects your body. Not just dehydration. Don't take my word for it guys. 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C H E E R S H E A L T H dot com and use code any AL for 20% off after you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them Neil Block sent you. Tell them our show. So you tell them about the show and tell them be like, I listen to so and so and he was and then it was crazy. Cheers health.com. Use code. Neil 20% off. It's I did one. How are you a crazy fucking bitch? Oh, I'm just like crazy. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I just blacked out. That was crazy. I'm just crazy. It like irrational. Yes. Like change opinions, change point of view. Like, like, like I'm just fucking crazy. Like I feel so bad about myself all the time and you're like, and you're sitting here being like, you're great. And you're like, he doesn't have any sign. Or like my friend, Sully, Sully Davis, shout out in Chicago. He would put, he would, we would do shows together in Chicago and he would like book the, he would book the hideout. And I'm so crazy that I like, I always have the same thing of before a show. Like nobody's going to come. Nobody's coming to the show. I actually have had to take a break from touring because I literally can't handle that feeling right now. I'm like too broken down, too tired. I can't deal with the like, what if nobody buys tickets? What if I'm just fucking standing there? I'm looking at 40 fucking people and I'm like, I can't, I in my head canceled my next tour. Yeah. In my head, I was like, well, put them on sale. I like, I did the Wilbur in Boston a little too early. Couldn't fill out the fucking whatever. That's the, that is, I can't, I can't handle it. You can't do that again. And then it's like all these people at the show being like, I go, I go, I go, you know what I mean? By the way, they can't see who's not there. The three people on the mezzanine could see they were the three. Okay. The three, those three, I know that's true, but I'm like, they could hear that it was echoey in there. How you, I know, I just can't handle it right now. I can't handle it right now. So I'm taking a little break. Great. Um, do you worry about that infecting your ability to make a living? Well, I have a job. Right. Right. But I'm saying, yes, yes, yes. Like, Hey, yes, you're good. Cause that's what it comes down to. Like I can't do that. It's like, okay, well, if you, there are people that can, I know. Well, that's why you get, have you seen yourself snap out of it in life? Have you had moments where I'm like, where you're like, I can't do it. And then you're like, okay, well, somebody else is going to do it. You're like, no fucking I can. I think like, well, SNL forces you to do it every week. Yeah. I'm not like a total wuss, but I am like, this is what I was saying about like self-care. I am trying to punish myself less. So if I right now genuinely believe that touring will be bad for my mental health, like anxiety wise, I can take a break until I mean, I have a couple of shows booked, but I'm like slowly, I'm slowly reintroducing myself to touring cause it's a lot. It's a lot. Like I know SNL is famously a very anxiety inducing place. There is no worse feeling in the world than being backstage at your show at the Wilbur and the manager coming in and being like, Hey, so we're not going to open the mezzanine. And I'm just like, I can't take that out right now. I got a lot going on. You know what I mean? Like I can't handle, I can't handle like getting an email. Hey, from, from a club. Hey, we can't move the Saturday tickets. Can you do a post? I can't handle that right now. I can't. And I know I just, I'm like, I'm a, I do a hard thing every week right now. So I'm like taking it step by step. Cause for the past five years, I would be SNL time off tour, SNL time off tour. I'm going to take a second. Okay. Great. I have some shows coming up in April. Hope to see y'all there. I have a new, I have a new material show every Tuesday night. If you want to come and do it up the street. Can I do it? Anytime you want. I'll give you my number. You can do it. Come and do four minutes. Okay. I think I can handle four. Honestly, like honestly, just come and do a, cause that's when I'm fucking bombing. Yeah. That would make me feel better. I charged $10. That would make me feel better. Cause it's where everyone's, I tell people, bomb. Yeah. It's $10. Okay. It's for you're there to not. This sounds nice. I'm going to try it. Yeah. It's very low stress. Okay. Everyone there is supportive to the crowd's like supportive because they, it's like new job. But okay. So it's what about, how do you feel about self care? You did not, you did not. And now you're trying to do some. Well, this is like my version of self care is like taking a break from something, which is like something I didn't think I would ever do. I didn't think that I would be after putting out a comedy special being like, I'm going to take a tiny break from touring. That's self care. And do you think anyone in human existence has ever exhibited self care before? This is what I, this is the conversation I have with myself sometimes. I'm like, people go on vacation. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not saying don't go on vacation. I'm just saying like, well, people didn't really go on vacation till a couple, 50 years ago. Europeans do. That's like their whole thing. Yeah. Okay. Like germ. Yeah. Okay. Like what year do you think Europeans started going on vacation? Because you're talking about horseback. You're talking about, you're talking about horses, carriages. Their card didn't exist till the 1915. But didn't like all like British people have like, summer whatever they, I'm betting the answers now, whatever the, whatever this question is fucking the Spanish got a fucking vacation in the middle of the day. That's a siesta. Yes. That's not a vacation. That's a nap. Right. So, and they're famous for it. Right. One country out of 200. Right. So what I, I'm not saying we shouldn't self care. I'm wondering, I guess I'm talking to all modern people. Yeah. What are we, how much self care, how much you would use the term after care? What's weird? I do. I wanted to provide you guys with a bit of after care. Do you like being pampered? Do you go to like, Spas? Yeah, but it's like micro self care. So it's like, I fucking love a massage. Yeah. And it's also like, I'm such a wound up type person that I like medically need it. But like, I do think modern day self care is more cynical than maybe you're making it out to be, which is like, it's like so much of self care now is about making someone like more productive for the marketplace. Well, yeah, there's, yeah, it's all optimization. Yeah. Like when like Don Draper at the end of Mad Men goes to his meditation retreat. It's so that he can be a better salesman. So it's like, I don't actually think that people are really actually taking care of themselves. Well, this gets in a bigger question. What is the point of life? Well, I'm like, what are, what are we supposed to be doing? Have a fun. Yeah. Do you believe that? I'm not, I'm not saying that like, I'm saying like, yeah, I think I sometimes I agree with you. Well, this is why I'm a comedian. It's like, I feel like I built my whole life around laughing and having fun with my friends, but I'm like, I've such a tortured existence. Oh, that's what I was going to tell you. That to meet my friend, this is proof that I'm crazy. Yes. My friend, Sully, book shows in Chicago. He books the best shows in Chicago. He's amazing. Sully book shows under local universe. Go look, see all the shows of Chicago. I did a show with him at the hideout. I was like, I said, Sully, no one's here. No one's coming to the show. And he's in the green room and they being like, we sold out. It's great. Yeah. Talking about. And I'm like, go, I went out there. There's no one in the room. No one came. I'm so crazy. I was so crazy and so paranoid that I convinced this person whose job is to professionally put on shows, live shows in Chicago. I convinced him that our eyes and ears were deceiving us and that a full room of people of ticket holders was empty. You could not see them. I guess it's like dysmorphia. This dysmorphia. Yeah. Or you like, could you not see them? I don't know. I think I like saw there was like empty chairs and I can only see the empty chairs. Do you get that on stage? I can only see the and I'll call it out. I think I said in the special, are we holding a seat for Elijah or something? Yeah. Yeah. What do you want for yourself? I, well, I think that my anxiety and psychotic behavior makes me difficult to deal with to the people closest to me. And I would like them to have a less bad time being around me. What if it hurt the material? I don't care about that. That's okay. It would, if it hurt, if the show was worse, if you were more pleasant, but the show was worse. Well, it's so interesting because you're coming to me at a point in my life where I'm like at zero. Right. I'm like, there is no show. There is no show. I've got like, fucking 20 bad minutes kicking around. I don't like any of it. I don't care about it. If you were to tell, like there is no show. I want to start over. I mean, that's what's kind of nice starting over. It's like, I can just start with. You don't have to be this. You could change. You could get, you get to put a nice wig on. I did have a fantasy that I would do a serenormal set, an hour, an hour in a blonde wig and a t-shirt. I'd be like, dating is kind of weird. What's funny about you is when you make fun of regular standup, I feel, I feel bad as a regular standup, but I'm also like. Well, it's because I wish I could do regular standup. No, I know. It's like, I don't feel actually bad. I'm like, I can't, I can't do shit about my intestines. Well, I, those jokes are making fun of regular standup are like genuine attempts at me, like kind of trying to do it. But it's like, I love going up at the cellar. My life would be better if I could figure out how to do it. I've heard, I've heard Essie speak highly of this. She's, she, she looks out for her girl. She likes it. Nobody wants me to change what I'm doing. Yeah. And people are always like, conf, like if I bomb, I'm genuinely like fucking bomb. Yeah. And people are like, but you try to bomb. You're like doing a weird thing. And I'm like, no comedian wants to be like, my work is alienating. I revel in freaking people out. But what I genuinely try to do is freak people out and draw them back in. So it's like, you will love me against all odds. You know what I mean? So, but when I genuinely push people away too much, it's like, no, I'm trying to pull them back. I have failed if I have not pulled them back. Do you, you work, you open for a stand up, right? Uh-huh. How were those shows? Well, it's funny because I've bombed a lot opening for him because those rooms are very hard for me. They have rooms that are really nice. Yeah. It's hard. He's a rock star. Yeah. So, and people are there to see sailor. Yeah. But what's, you know, so I've done, I've done, I'm not saying I always bomb. I've done well. I've also bombed. It's just hard to get used to those rooms. I like, I need one show to be like, okay, now I remember how to do this crazy fucking arena, whatever. Um, but like my material can be like, you know, bizarre and gross or whatever. And if I, it's just funny to me because I'm like, Sandler, Sandler's hour is like 10 times bluer and more surreal and crazier than mine. I actually think we're a great fit. Yeah. But sometimes I think audiences are a little, but they don't know he's doing that until all of a sudden it's happening. And then they're like, right, he is doing a 10 minute bit about fucking a snowman. Yeah. Yeah. He also has my favorite chitchat, which is, uh, he's like, you ever be wiping your ass and you go, whatever happens, this is the last wipe. One of my favorite. He's my favorite. He's such a good dude. Um, you don't like the internet. I don't. Yeah. But you were definitely, you seem like a product of the internet. No. I am. I think I'm like such a bar nightclub comedian. That is not what standup is anymore. Like ultimately, yes, standups were making money from live ticket sales, but it's like, I can't do the clips and I can't do the, again, like I'm slow. Your clips do well when I, I YouTube you like today. Girl. But I don't, I also don't have like the speed. I can't do it. Oh, you're not, you're talking about like doing a thing about Iran and a thing about obscene. Yeah. That's, yeah, but that's not every, not everyone's going to be able to know whatever. Don't worry about it. Yeah. But I just think again, as someone who I do care, you know, the unconscious and dreams are interesting to me, but I think a lot of today is just like, we're repl, I do too. We're like replacing our mind with taking in like actual work. Our minds are like actual garbage shoots of just my, my boyfriend's sister's husband, Mikey Swanberg, said it best. He's like, our minds are only supposed to know like rock and stick. And it's like the same human minds that's only supposed to be knowing about rock and stick have to be knowing about like every single day. Just like, yeah, it's like my, my little mind can't take it anymore. And it's like, thank you to the fucking internet. I have found out I've taken in more art in my lifetime than anyone, a human being alive before me has ever taken in, but also I've taken in a lot of fucking crap and it's mind pollution and it's crap. And I can't keep up. I can't keep up with all the crap. Do you have a, do you set boundaries for yourself? Yeah. I like try not to look at anything. Well, that doesn't work. I was like, I'm going to read a book. And then yeah, have you read a book? I read for an hour and 10 minutes the other day. That there you go. Yeah. That's pretty good. Pretty good. I had to put the computer and phone in the other room. Right. Exactly. It's a quest. And it just makes you, how many just, I mean, I love SNL. It's live. It's in a, it's live. Like, yes, it exists on the internet for everyone watching it on the toilet, on YouTube. I also like thinking, like, even if you think of my special, like my special is like this big and now all of a sudden everything has to be like this big. And I'm like, but that's not how I see, I see this big, but it has to be this big. Yeah. I can't be doing that shit. Like all the, it was funny having to clip down my standup special like this. Because I'm like, but it's actually like that. Yeah. I'm like moving around. There's a cool set piece over there. There's a cool, you know, I feel like you don't get the whole, everybody's taking in things. Well, would they come see you? When I go on tour. Wait, if you ever go on tour. Do you bring all that shit on the road? I, yeah. Got it. I got to make all new videos though. Girl. It's a lot. Give yourself a long, give yourself. What was the longest, but what was the longest break you ever took? I took a year. I put a special two years ago and took a year off. Really? Yeah. Did that feel amazing? You were doing self care. Girl. Um, yeah. But like now, then it's taken, then I came back here and it's taken me like seven months to get decent again. Yeah. Like I was not good and I had, I just, it literally last night was like the first night I had like three great sets at the cellar. Yeah. Like three, like, okay, great, great, great. Not like, uh, uh, uh, and the amount of like training and like focus and that I have to do is embarrassing. I also, I have aspirations to do a lot of other stuff, like write a lot of other stuff and it's hard for me to be like doing SNL and writing other stuff and then doing standup. Like I just admire, like when you're working on all your shows, like doesn't stand up, follow the way side. I don't really work on it. I just, now I just do standup and direct commercials. I don't do anything else. I just, it's not, I just, When you were writing TV. When I wrote for Chappelle, it was like, that's all I did. And then, but then, then once I started doing it, it was like, I never, I always thought standup was the coolest thing. Yeah. Well, how was your relationship? Your boyfriend relationship? It's good. Yeah. It's, I have a very, I have a relationship that very few people who do what I do have and I'm very grateful for it. He's a sane human being who is grounded to reality in a way that I am not. And he's also funnier than any comedian I know. And he's not a comedian. I love when people say that. He is not a comedian. He does something awesome instead. He's going to grad school. He's fucking smart. And so like, we've been together since I'm 19. So like before my life was kind of crazy. So that's also nice too. Cause I can have like, this person who like knows me, you know, if I met someone fucking now, I don't know how people do it. They don't do it well. I mean, it's just hard. It's, I mean, I think it's impossible for everybody. Yeah. Have you, and it's never, you've just, it's always been good and like. I mean, it's been a lot. Well, I brought him on tour when I was touring a lot, like I was going from SNL to tour. Um, he was like, okay, so we're not going to see you ever. And so I was like, well, guess what? You're my tour manager now. Great. So then I brought him on tour with me. That was fun. Great. So he's funnier than Richard Pryor. Is what you're telling me? Yeah, I think so. And Rodney combined. And Rodney combined and, and Bill Burr and Chappelle and Chris Rock. It sucks. I hate to tell these guys. Malini. He's funny than Malini. So I'm just going through random George Carlin, Louie, Wanda. Yeah. Sarah, Joan Rivers. Sucks. Maybe he's not as funny as Joan Rivers. Um, guys, Sarah Sherman is her name and the special is called Sarah Sherman live and in the flesh. It's, oh, you know what I wanted to ask you? Oh. Do you think everyone's gross or that you're especially gross? I do think I'm especially gross. You do? Mm-hmm. Why? Just because it's local. Yeah, I can smell it. Yeah. So that's, that's all it takes. What did you say? You said that you had so much meat in your, in your underwear. That is a David Spade joke. You needed a silica pack. I get off stage after opening for Sandler and I'm like, my pussy. So whatever. And Spade goes, I got one for you. I got, there's so much old meat in my underwear. I got to keep a silica packet in there to keep it going. And then, hey, he's in the special. Thanks at the end. Fuck. Spade, you did it again. You know, thank you. Um, Spade, not, he will not do the podcast. Uh, don't just want to talk about his emotional life. Oh, wow. But Sarah Sherman did and we just closed the episode live and in the flash. Sarah Sherman and look for 20, 27 on the road. Look for the, sorry, I'm live. Watch her clips. They work in nine by 16, as well as 16 by nine. She's good. She's funny. And she's, she's a lot.