Hello my friends, welcome to the Ryan Leigh podcast where we love to keep things short and sweet for you each and every week. Over the past few episodes, we have been diving into some observations I've noticed about success and how people who have to navigate it well and sometimes not so well. You can actually check out the previous episodes and learn about the cost of success and the dangers of success. Today, I want to just for a few moments talk about the pressure of success. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going to dive into the pressure of success today. You know, a year ago I had about 70,000 followers on Instagram. As of today's recording, it's about half a million. Now, I'd be lying to you if I told you that I don't feel the pressure that comes with that kind of growth. In fact, this podcast has climbed some ranks. I'd be lying to you if I told you that pressure doesn't come from more listeners. I just want you to know that today's episode is very, very personal for me for sure. It's interesting. I've been making a pivot with our business lately and we're making a shift from being more of an executive coaching company to more of a research institute that partners with brands and companies to provide data-driven and story-driven solutions. There's tons of research companies out there, but data can be boring and that's where we come in. We don't just like to analyze and aggregate data, but we like to help it sing, tell a story, more to come on that in future episodes for sure. But, for example, we recently added a real genius to our team, a brilliant soon-to-be PhD named Angela. Now, Angela is so smart that she's the kind of smart that makes you question if you even graduated high school. She has been leading some incredible studies for us. Some of them is around pressure and stress. Now, zooming into some of the data that she's been able to provide as we have surveyed thousands of people all around the country, I've been zooming in on some of this pressure, specifically, the pressure of success. Not the pressure to become successful, but the pressure that shows up after you've already made it. I mean, it's like when you finally win and then suddenly the game gets harder. For instance, in our research, we asked a simple question to our respondents to say, hey, could you just describe stress in your own words? And I just got to tell you, the responses were heavy. One person wrote, it feels like being unable to concentrate on anything, but thinking about everything at the same time. Then there was this one, the feeling that things are going to fall apart. Have you ever been there? It's like sometimes success can make you think, is this too good to be true? Or when will it end? You might have been growing one year, but is it always going to be that way? I mean, I opened up a restaurant and it was like, I mean, everybody was flooding and everybody loved your food and then competition came along and then you actually had to shut that business down. It's interesting. You could be in your prime, but still be looking around the corner wondering when it's all going to fall apart. Here's another response that stuck out to me. I wrote, it can kill you. It causes some people to overeat and others not to eat at all. You want to know why I laughed when I saw this response is because it's not because it's funny. It's because it's ironic. It's wild that you could become so successful that you can afford to eat anywhere in the world, but you've got so much pressure to remain successful that you can't even eat. Wild. Another respondent wrote, too many demands, too little time. Another said, stress feels like drowning in responsibilities while everyone around you expects you to swim. No matter how hard you try, it just feels inadequate. It feels like you're being squeezed from all directions. That's what success can feel like. I know, I know, I know, I know. Success is supposed to be exciting, but sometimes it's exhausting. People think once you make it, the pressure stops, but that's when it actually starts to multiply. Because when you're successful, people want your time. People will want your energy. They think you've got magic and they want some. Because when you're a winner, people love pulling on winners. Have you ever noticed that nobody asked the gal with the small following on social media for branding advice? But messing around and go viral, gain a following and your inbox will be full of people who want to get a cup of coffee to pick your brain, only need 15 minutes, only need 30 minutes, only need an hour. Man, we love it to spend a day and it just goes on and on and on and on. Meanwhile, what they don't know about you behind the scenes is that sometimes you're just trying to stay afloat, trying to meet expectations, trying not to let anyone down, trying to keep being the person people think you are. Our soon to be resident PhD Angela. She came up with a word for this tension. It's fascinating. She calls it, stressor. Yeah, stressor. S-T-R-E-S-S-U-R-E, stressor. It's what you get from success when you've got pressure and stress. It's when you finally get what you dreamed of, but now it feels like it's dreaming of taking you out. And here's the thing. It's not just the pressure to win. It's the pressure to win again. Write a best selling book. Cool. The next question is, when's the next one? Have a video go viral? You'll feel the weight of trying to make the next one do it again. Drop a hit song. People want the follow up. Not the one hit wonder. It's true in business. Land a big client. Now your team expects you to double it next quarter. Have a six figure launch. Now people ask why it wasn't seven. Even in parenting. Can we talk about this for a minute? Maybe I need to do a whole series on parenting and it wouldn't be me giving you advice. It would actually be me asking for advice for like nine episodes. But nevertheless, there is a one up culture even within parenting. Take them on one awesome trip. Now your kids think it's Disney every spring break, fall break. They want to go to Disney on Halloween. It's a break, right? We got the day off. Come on. Let's go. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was one time. And then they start counting your money. Start counting. They got the hands in your pocket. Come on, man. You got it. You can go. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First off, you don't even know what Disney cost. First off, Disney's client loved Disney. Loved Disney. But Disney is not a place for the week financially. What I'm trying to tell you is this. The pressure of success does not retire. It reloads. And if you don't get ahead of it, it'll convince you that your worth is tied to your next win. So what do we do? What do we do with the pressure and the stress of success? How do you become what we like to call stressor proof? I think you have to build boundaries and rhythms that don't just help you succeed, but help you survive what comes with it. You start asking, what's the cost of keeping everyone happy? What would happen if I said no? I mean, that's probably been the hardest thing in my life over the last five years. It's just telling people no. I'm not just talking strangers. I'm talking best friends. It's tough. But if I don't, I will cave to the pressure. Sometimes it's a pressure coming from a very good place. But in light of who I want to be for the long haul, sometimes I just have to say no. I'm going to encourage you to be the kind of person that schedules a breathing room. And you do that by saying, no, you have to protect your time for the stuff that is filling you up. You have to remind yourself you don't owe access to everyone who claps for you. Because what has taken me a long time to realize is that success without peace isn't worth it. So I'm going to encourage you don't just chase goals. I'm going to encourage you to build systems that allow you to actually enjoy what you've worked so very hard for. Because the goal isn't to just handle stress better. I think it's to build a life where you don't get eaten alive by it. I think you can have success or success can have you. And if you're feeling the pressure of success today, you're not weak. You're not ungrateful. You're human. And so just remember you get to decide what success means and how much of it you get to consume. So protect your peace, my friend. Put your joy, my friend. And do not let pressure rob you of the very thing you worked so hard to experience. Now next week, we are going to be talking about the addiction of success. It is going to be fun. I cannot wait to catch you next week. Thank you so much for listening to the Rhyalink podcast. If today's episode inspires you in any way, shape, or form, I'm going to ask you not to keep it to yourself. Share with a friend. Hey, if you haven't already, if you would take a moment to rate review, leave a comment, subscribe. That would mean the world to me. I also send out an encouraging text each and every week. If you'd like to subscribe to those motivational texts, you can text podcast to 469-809-1201. Join us next week for when we talk about the addiction of success.
