This Is Why You’re Getting Ghosted

It's another day at Screwfix and Samofara is still getting to grips with things. So, Mo, with Sprint Delivery, we get the order to them in as little as 20 minutes. Okay, Mo? Mo? Mo? Done. He was under 18th floor. Nice work. Uh, you know, we used delivery riders, right? Oh, now you tell me. Sprint it in as little as 20 minutes. Screwfix, no stopping you. Conditions and geographical restrictions apply. We interrupt your regular programming for a very special announcement. Saturday nights are made for Mayhem with Celebrity Sabotage. Watch me, Joe, dummy. Me, GK Barry. Me, Santonson. And Judy Love. It's course some payas. Do not move a muscle. This is no mad. Find that commercial place. Watch this. This is a funny deck. Celebrity Sabotage starts Saturday 21st of March, on ITV1 and ITVX. Hello, gorgeous. It's Lala Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally Lala. Rowling Rowling Rowling Rowling. Oh, I love that. Rowling. Is that tool? I don't know. I don't know either. I actually don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like I played that in the next. Welcome back to Untraditionally Lala, the bonus episode. We have Valentine's Day right around the corner. And I know that so many of us sit here and tweak out if we don't have a partner or a person. I don't think men think like that. Maybe they do. I won't put them on the back burner. Like they don't have feelings. But a lot of women are like, what do I do on this day? Because it is a holiday for lovers. But for me, it's always been eastern's birthday. So I've never really... Chotcho! ...about it as like that type of thing. That type of holiday? I know. I've always felt so bad about it. Why? Because you know, you just start to feel bad. Like I'd go over to my buddy's house. I'd never tell... Just to let everybody know. Now you know. Yeah. I don't tell anybody my birthday. Don't post about it. Don't say anything. I don't care about it. Everybody's got one. You know, it's like a butthole. Moving on. You know? But like when you... What are the friends houses and like, be hanging out? Like there were times where like, you know, my birthday would be coming up and I would go to a friends house. And they would be like, oh, what are you going to do? Because it came up. And like the mom and dad were like, yeah, we're going to do this, this, and this and like, I was like, damn. My mom and dad could be doing that. But I'm taking that away. They didn't want to. I don't know. Let me just have my depressing thought, you bitch. He's still tweaking off the vape, I see. But no, I just thought that sometimes. I know that sometimes. Somebody who is a mother now, if my baby were born on Valentine's Day... Well, you're kind of in there. Your baby's birthday is a day after yours. And I was really hoping that she came on my birthday because I was like, what a wonderful way to celebrate my birthday is now going to be... I'm glad she didn't, though, because of my thoughts, because... She doesn't want to share it with me. Well, not share it, but maybe it's not sharing. I don't care that. I feel like I'm taking away. And she could like, grow up and be like, I took a day away from my mom that she very much deserves. Do you get what I'm saying? You're a very selfless person, and I understand where your head's at. That's why I don't love my birthday, because I feel like I took a lot of love away from mom and dad. Are you going to cry? Yeah. Oh, I love you. I see. But yeah, you do stink. I worked out this morning. That is right. But no, sometimes I do feel like that. You know? I don't... Okay, well, you are... You're the person who always says that you have to separate your feelings from facts because your feelings are not facts. So now I'm going to point this out to you. Tron, I'm glad you said that. This is how you're feeling, and I think it's beautiful that your mind even goes there. It just goes to show like what a kind and beautiful heart you have is thinking about mom and dad celebrating. But the fact is that you're their son and what a beautiful way to celebrate the holiday of love. That's the whole point of it. No, I know. Then this child that they brought into the world out of love and they celebrated like every Wednesday or Tuesday they had... No, that's a thing. You can always go and do something. You just have that feeling. You know, you just have that feeling. But now I'm crying more because my dad's gone and my mom doesn't have a Valentine. You're her Valentine. You already know that. She tells you that. I know. They're kind of happy tears now. No. But that's why I don't love my birthday and things like that. But I'm happy it is when it is though. I feel like it's like a lot of love around my birthday. So I'm like, oh, it's always a good time. Yeah. Lots of yummy candy. And even when dad was around, Eastern mom always said, like, I celebrate Valentine's Day with my forever Valentine's Day. Which is you. Yeah. No, and I'm glad that, you know, I'm happy. And there's just... I have those thoughts and those are my thoughts that I need to work through of like damn. But then again, well, in the 15th-year-old bags, right? Yeah. Totally. But no, I just... Yeah, I don't know. I don't want you to think that way at all. And I think once you become a parent, you will realize how... Whatever day it is is... You... You're just so... Like, you just love your baby and you're just so excited to celebrate. I would love to know if anybody else with a birthday on the 14th feels like this. Or even like on Christmas or like something. Do you feel like, damn, I'm taking away? If you were born on Christmas, yes, you're fucking taking away. Because I know people and I hate people. Now you're messing with Jesus' birthday and that I will not understand. I hate people more. And it is my birthday and we will do what I want to do because of this. I don't like that either. By the way, no one is ever... If you have a birthday, I do feel badly. Like, you dated a girl who had a birthday on the 24th of December. And she hated it too. And I get that because it's not the funnest day to have that. But I just... I don't think about things like that. It's like, okay, we'll just one more thing to celebrate. Do you want to know what I was thinking about and how sad? Tell me. My ex... I'm not my ex's ex probably. How will fucked up? I'm not my ex's ex. Like... Oh, like she's dated so many guys since you? Yeah, like I'm not like how funny. Like when I talk about my ex, if you were to talk about to her about hers, I'm not that. I'm not her ex. You're one of her exes. Yes, but like the most recent... Oh, has she dated since? Well, yes. You're not even supposed to be dating until a year into sobriety. Let's get you grounded on your feet. I didn't say I wanted to date. I was just thinking about that. But I want you to want to date. So on the... You were thinking about love, there is a girl that you... I like... I'm talking to girls. I'm in no position to date. And I have told them that. Like, yes, I do have to go out and talk to women and be a part of society. I have to fuck. But I do tell them, like, hey, I'm not in a position to be in a relationship. But that's what this is. You're wanting. Like, then I have to start. Like, you're just wanting to... I'm just like getting this belt with a lot of notches on me. No, I'm not. You're not supposed to be doing any of that in your first year of sobriety. I am talking to women. I'm not talking to... I'm... I cannot date. No. I'm not telling you how to run your own program. I'm just saying what it says you're supposed to do. And I'm not dating. I'm not here to judge anybody on how they're working their program. I'm not dating. Okay. You don't know what you're doing. Dump in some rocks off. I know that's not true because if you were, you wouldn't tell me. So I know you're freaking lying. I know you're sticking to sobriety. I'm talking... It's weird though because I'll talk to girls and I'm like, oh, God. I... How do you... I ghost a lot. By the way, you need to work on that then. I don't coastline on that at all. I find that to be a very toxic trait and very young-minded. Yes, you can go down the lines. We've been talking for months or weeks or anything. It'll be like, hey, how are you? Oh, great. What have you been doing? I see you live in LA. I don't respond. Okay. You do you. You do you. Because that's where I'm like, if I keep talking to this person, what comes from it? I have to go and grab coffee. I have to do something. I'm not supposed to. And for me to go, I loved this conversation, but I'm sorry if I were to continue it. I don't think this would be good for my sobriety. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're not riskful. You're not riskful. At what point is ghosting? We haven't talked where it's long enough because if I did talk to you long enough, you would know my situation and I could happily tell you, like, I can't do it. And you would have to respect that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just don't write back to a lot of people because I'm like, K, you're close, you're in LA. I could see what is coming of it. If I keep this conversation, I have to end it. So I just don't respond. Okay. I think that's better. I had to. That's better explanation. That's better explanation. It's for everybody. I'm not ghosting because that is small-minded as childish worked on that. But now I'm in that point. And it's tough. I'm still like rocking a hard spot of like, how do I do it? Because I don't feel great when I like, you know, respond to somebody, but I'm like, my response would be shittier. Yeah, I totally get that. You're like, what do I even say? Yeah. There's. And it's like, I want a Valentine date or something. Oh, dude. Well, it's not even for the birthday, but like I would like to go on a date to know I know how to still talk to women, you know? Well, okay. So let's talk about this because you have said you want to celebrate your birthday, which is Valentine's Day in Utah. I'm just a long for the frickin' right. No, I am too. If you want to go to Utah and have like a friend's trip and you want to go be a girl, I want to go on a family. I want my family because we don't get enough time together as it is. Well, you guys are my friends. I know. We have so much fun together all of us. But no, I would like a, and it's not like I want to go on a Valentine's night and go. It's like, no, I just like to talk to a girl and be like, hey, let's go celebrate a night of Valentine and fucking go and grab some food by the beach tacos or something. But yes, I would like to do that. Maybe some didn't tie fun. Yes, that's the other thing. That would be the perfect date for me. Right. And that's it. But I want to go on a date and I understand like, yes, I see it's a heart. It's a rock and a heart spot. And I want to do a different because my relapse came off of me having one identity and one identity, one identity only. And it was sober AA meetings and obviously it didn't work. Can I step in here? Well, your mindset is very all over the place. And what I would like you to do because you're doing what I have done a many of time, where you go down many different avenues to try and talk yourself into dating because that is what you want, right? It's what. But then you try to actively talk yourself out of it and all of the roadblocks on why you couldn't do those things. And I think. Okay. So let's just make it clear cut. Yes, Eastern at some point wants to find a person that one day he could take out on Valentine's day. He can celebrate his birthday with someone he loves. Is the timing a little bit off? It could be because of his sobriety and that's most important. But you're not going to close yourself off to going out and meeting someone because you could meet someone in the program. And maybe you guys form like a really amazing friendship and start dating later on. I just don't want you to get to where I have gotten many times where I know deep down what I want, which is somebody. And it may not be like the norm, like the cookie cutter relationship. It's a little bit different and untraditional. But ultimately I would like to find that. But I would go down all of these routes on why it didn't make sense. And those things really made sense to me. I'm like, they add a lot of stress. They add a lot of drama. I can't do it because I have kids. Yes, all play a factor. So let's just let it be. Okay, let's just let it be. What does one do? Let's get out of our own heads for all the people out there who are spending Valentine's day so low. What does one do to not have stress and pressure of Valentine's day? That's an easy for me because I usually spend my birthdays with just a couple people or alone. And I do that on purpose or with you guys, but I love getting like Chinese food. So much fun. You can never go wrong with that. I order Chinese food. I love. And here's the thing. If you go out on Valentine's Day, it's always too busy. Everybody. You guys, I find Valentine's Day to be the biggest, like the biggest money grab from restaurants. It's fine. It's your out and about. It's hard to do. But I don't like being a part of the thing. Not even that though. It's like 500 dollars a person for is like these amazing restaurants and I get it. Like some people are into it. I think if you're really into Valentine's Day, go all out because then it's not a push for you, right? I don't even think it's if you love Valentine's Day. If you love somebody enough to go and do that, it's so great. No, but if you enjoy it, if you enjoy being out and about like that and doing the Valentine's Day type thing, but don't do it because you feel like you have to. Yeah. Don't put that pressure on yourself. Because even that, like when I even when I was talking to girls and like they would be like, what do you want to do for Valentine's? Like your birthday, I'd be like, let's just sit in. Yeah. I love a good movie, ice cream and like Chinese food. That's my go to for my Valentine's Day. Yeah. I think that's a good one. And I think if you're a female and you maybe have one or two or a group of friends who were single, um, go and tell us something with them. Go do something fun or go like spend a night at your house. Stay out and have cocktails, watch bridesmaid. If you drink, make some cocktails. Have a heyday. Watch John Tucker must die. Oh, yes. You know, watch the women watch hot girl, the hot girl hot chick. It's me. That one. That one. I might watch that on my Valentine's Day. It's so good. No, that I do like Valentine's Day. I don't love my birthday. Peek on it. Well, the established that you've cried about it and you've been very upset. I like it. I think it's a great holiday to have a birthday of Christmas vacation with their old shoe and I like it. No, that's not it's friends. It's Joey eating the trifle and the shepherd's pie and everyone's like, it's disgusting. I like it. Me good, jam good. Oh, throw me off, gosh. We all love a good meal, but there's no feeling quite like cooking one. Whether it's everyone at yours for a Sunday roast or after school sausage and mash. Quick, simple, gone in minutes. One thing brings it all together. Ah, bister, the original gravy, rich, smooth and unmistakable since 1908 when the gravy makes the dish make the gravy. Ah, bister. You know we were talking about investing the other day. Yep, yep, yep, six-am alarm run, ice-buff, matchelate, forret monitors, check markets, diversify assets, browse finance forums, project yields. Yeah, well, I've just started with wealthify. Their experts make the most of my money so I can make the most of my time. And that's the real return on investment. For investing savings and pensions, the smart money's with wealthify. With investing, your capital is at risk. Wealthify is authorized and regulated by the financial conduct authority. What do they do on Valentine's Day? What's friends? I'm going to take a book out of friends, a page out of the book of friends. I don't know. Have they ever, I Valentine's Day. I think they do, they'll do, they do a Valentine's Day. I watch every year, obviously, any of them that celebrate, what does no Thanksgiving and then obviously like Christmas time, whatever. New years is always in that mix of. I remember one year I had a really fun Valentine's Day and this was when I was not sober, obviously. That's why it's fun. We ordered take out, took edibles and watched scream queens. Scream queens? Scream queens. I was very high. I don't remember much about it. But it was fun. It was very fun. You were right. I mean, it was with Emma Roberts or something. Never heard of it. I don't know. I was lit to the sky. It was the best Valentine's Day ever. They make a mix tape. Chandler, that's right. Oh, I remember the Valentine's Day one. Remember, they have to make a homemade gifts for each other. Chandler and Monica, he gives her the sock puppet. You got this from Phoebe because I was going to get one. And Chandler gives the mix tape. Yeah, that's from Janice. Yeah. I love you so much. Chandler Bing. Oh, that is good. I'm going to buy the way. How great would that be if you had a Valentine who loved friends just as much as you and she gave you that mix tape or Valentine's Day? What's a good Valentine's Day gift? What would you give to a girl? Oh, no. I always gave like gift cards because I didn't know what, but it was so in personal. Well, I like it. That's awful. Yeah. I'd get them flowers and either earrings or a ring and then a gift card. Oh, well, start with that. Well, the flowers, the jewelry and then the gift card. I was going to start with like going for the gift card. Usually is what you're getting for. So I would get like a gift card to somewhere like that. So they could pick, so you know, they could pick it out. And then I would also get like flowers and a ring. That's very cute. Or earrings, depending on what they like. What they like. Like a little bracelet. Yeah, just something like that. I mean, I think I would want just like a nice dinner in a card. Like I don't need a gift, but it would also depend on who the guy is. Well, that's also the guy. Like I feel uncomfortable accepting gifts from men that I don't really know because then it's like I have to pretend I'm opening this gift. You guys are hate getting gifts because then I have to fucking pretend like I like it. Well, what if I don't like it? I'm not getting. And also like if I, if I'm not dating you and I'm going on like a date for Valentine, I'm not getting you a gift just because it's Valentine's Day. It's just a date. It happens to be on Valentine's Day. I'm getting you a gift if you want a first date. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm not going on a first date on Valentine's Day. I'm never going on a first date on Valentine's Day. By the way, I would love for you guys to write in if any of you are going on a first date on Valentine's Day. On a first date on Valentine's Day. Let's talk about it. You guys write in. Write in. I want to know because that would give me bubbleguts. No, I would have a full panic attack. So that and I would need a whole leader of Pepto. Oh, Pepto. Yeah. It's a nice saving grade. To calm the bubbleguts. Thank you for tuning into another bonus episode of untraditionally Lala. I hope you have a wonderful day, a wonderful V-Day coming up and we are going to catch you on Wednesday and again next week. Bye. Bye. What a scream. We installed telephone wires across rural Britain over a century ago and you're still paying to use them for your broadband today. If it ain't broke, what? Stop. Your days are selling phone age broadband are over. Plus, stuff spilled the beans. Upgrade to 100% full fiber. Gigaclear, faster broadband for rural Britain from only 19 pounds a month. Tessences apply. Check availability at Gigaclear.com. There comes a time in your life when you need to make a change. To start a new chapter, it's time to consider a residential park home bungalow from Ecosc group. Coastal retreat in Western Superman is a peaceful gated community. For those aged over 45, setting a stunning location close to all local amenities, you can enjoy a stress free move with up to 100% pot exchange on your existing property with free site fees for your first year. 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