#541 - How's Your Algorithm

Welcome back to the basement yard decked out in all white there he is oh why do you say it like that what decked out in all white like that it felt felt wrong right to make everything like a thing i don't know and i don't want to offend anybody um so we're gonna pivot yeah i'm gonna cnn's gonna no but it is really really cool that like i do think and this isn't cool i do think though that like when we get together your algorithm is like listening to what we're talking about i'll be like let's send this because how many times have we talked about something whether it be on the show or off the show we leave here and then immediately a tiktok of it posts like it pops up in my timeline mine is like pretty see the problem is like sometimes i'll like what i really don't like and this is why you know twitter is horrible like it's so bad everyone is like miserable on that app and like tiktok you can get to a point where there's a lot of just misery back and forth and i'm like i can't like i will purposefully like get out of those and try to watch like nice stuff like i just want to be warmed by the heart but you know what we should do we should do a patreon episode that it is niche but we each bring in like our five favorite tiktoks and we show them to each other just because like it's such a sense of camaraderie like becca and i will lay in bed and i'll be like you like anything for me and should we like come look and we like sit there and we go through like her tiktok oh yeah i do that like that i don't do it every day but like definitely like there's a check-in of like let's see what we've liked yeah let's see like what did you like what did i like let's combine also obviously mine is the best and you think yours is the best i've never met anyone whose likes are better than mine uh i mean i think I think I don't like a lot. I am very selective with what I'm going to like. Oh, you're trying to build a portfolio. Bingo. I'm trying to make it like, oh, man, like, these are good likes. This is a good like over here. You know, a well-placed like. Yeah. I also get a lot of, I don't know if you guys get these. It's like TikToks of like, not, I don't want to say poorly drawn because that sounds disrespectful, but it's like animation that looks more. sketch yeah like sketched animation and it's like to my partner you are my home you are my life like fuck are you watching it's like cute little and i said now they i sent it to becca once oh and now it's always so now every time i see it i'm like all right i'll send it over to her oh but like it's like it's like uh a little drawing and it's like you don't realize what you mean to me but it's over like hand-drawn animation and then you take credit for the words and you're like of course yeah absolutely this is how i feel my thought instead of me instead of me saying it i'm just going to show you a video someone else doing it very well that's the equivalent of like a valentine's card you just dear dear babe love me and whatever's written in it you're like you underline some words dude i've done you do that you do that I don't, I've changed words so it makes sense. My, what? Like, as a joke, like, I'll cross it out and, like, do it. Like a word that, like, you know. Instead of saying love, you say hate. No. No, I'll change, like, some of the words so it makes a little bit more sense. Or, like, I'll put, like, an inside joke instead of, like, your hair is like the ocean and the breeze. Like, I'll, like, cross that out and put, like, something that, you know what I mean? Gotcha. I, uh, my parents, I thought it was only my parents. It's really my mom that does this where she triple underlines the part of the card that she wants to really draw home. You are the best. Yes, literally. I was like, that's just such a my mom thing, but I guess it's your parents and you guys as well. I've done it. I've underlined. My parents. Or my mom. Yeah, not your dad. No, I don't. Yellow ain't giving you any cards. Bro, me and Keith used to give my... When we used to get my mom Mother's Day cards, Keith used to write Keith Santagato in the card. Yeah, we've got over that. It's the most insane thing in the world. I remember. You are definitely a huge card guy, right? Oh, big card guy. Like, no, you fill that bitch up. Yes. Yes. I like to, like, write. Write a lot. You know, I do. I think that it's heartwarming. You know, we. Do you do it for everyone or just Becca? Like your brother's birthday. You're going to, like, give him a card? It's gotten shorter on siblings. You know, now my attention is, like, going toward kids and Becca. Do you give your brother a card? no i can't even tell you last time i give i gave my brothers or my sister a card but like nieces and nephews they get cards sure sure sure you know you reach a point in life where a birthday like it's just like a high five yeah like a miller light yeah that's what we're uh but i i'm a big card guy i have cards from like high school middle school yeah i have one that someone got me a high school musical card and you open it up and it was like when you open it sings but the battery's so fucked that it's like everybody can freeze you know what i've done sometimes like sometimes like for a birthday or something i'll just get like a happy birthday grandma or just like a completely separate card yeah just to try and make it work we my siblings and i used to do that for like birthdays like a 20th birthday we got like a quinceanera card in you know because it's hysterical did you do you get your dad cards uh i haven't in a while because again i'm an adult now um but when we did like he he's one of those people where he has all the cards we've ever given him yeah that's where you get that and he's like i'm telling you right now when you cremate me i want all my cards in there with he wants to be creamed your dad wants to be creamed when he dies cremated yeah i mean i mean i want to make sure we're establishing that is the proper way to say yeah dad wants to be cream right that down exactly write that down also just a note just to take a note also first of all please don't my dad will hear this no shot in hell dude he's checked out already he's gone yeah He's in Columbia He doesn't give a fuck about this right now Oh I'm going next year Oh you are going to Columbia Yeah Medin That's where my dad lives You can hang out with my father Can you You better be careful So you said you were saying my dad is creamed You're going to where he fucking I know what you're going to bring up I know exactly what you're going to bring up He's calling 30 No no no He's calling 30. I am going to pivot before he does the story. This is a real story. Because I get second-hand embarrassment from this story. I knew you were going to bring this up. It reminded me. It was so fucking bad. You often in life catch yourself saying something stupid and it's like, that was so fucking dumb. I will allow Frank to fill in the blanks after I tell the framing, but we were younger and we were going somewhere. No, I'll tell the story because it deserves to be properly told. Joey had just purchased a fucking apartment in Long Island City. The place was sick. And it was, for those of you guys that don't live in New York or know Long Island City, it's fucking awesome. It was like cool bars, cool restaurants before it became like cool to be cool. It was Long Island City. And my uncle had always lived in Long Island City. and when he got the place oh my god this place is dope dude where is it I'm like oh it's the Long Island City oh dude we can hang out with my uncle I said what I said why would we hang and I could see as soon as the words left his mouth that he was like what have I done and I was like why why would we hang out with your uncle? Like, it was just like, and it's funny because like, if it was like an uncle that was like, I love my uncle. Younger, like. Younger, cool, you know, like. I mean, I'm not getting crazy. He's a cool guy. He's a cool dude. He's a cool dude, but like, not like, if it was like, I have an uncle that works for the NFL, we can hang out with him. No, he was an elect, is an electrician. So like, hey man, let's go hang out with my uncle. He's an electrician. Or if he was like, 30 something. Yeah, no. And we were like 25. Mid to late 40s. Maybe even 50. Oh, dude. We can go hang out with my uncle. I said, what? I said it. And as the last syllable left my mouth, your brain just instantly registered. This is the dumbest thing that I've ever heard. I can also see on your face that you did. Like, it was almost like you didn't say it. It was like someone else did it with your mouth. And you were like, what am I doing? Well, it was a prime example of like, I had the idea, and the idea went from my brain out through my mouth at the exact same time. There was no filter. Like, people think like, oh, he's not filtered. Like, he says fucked up shit. No, it was not filtered in the sense of like, the idea should have stopped right where it was. Right in the throat. It just kept going. Oh, man. It was bad. It was bad. That's so fucking funny. Yeah. Oh, dude, he could hang on my uncle. by the way we have we have we have not addressed ant's sweatshirt oh oh dude first of all i was in my office he comes over it knocks on it and just goes look it's cool no the ant colony i will say you're leaning in you're leaning in i got though i will say leaning in you the from from greg's tiktok to that sweatshirt you expedited that process it was actually already in the works believe it or not before he made that really yeah i saw a comment on it i went like a while ago on an old episode i went doing that oh someone said the ant colony sue sue sue cease and desist leaned into it and then greg made that social media post and he named the ant colony i went and i sent them the this like well you know what design immediately it sucks since it was someone else's comment we can't sell it now so yeah too bad well they didn't make this It's true. I mean, first of all, why not just commit to just being an ant, not being in an ant suit? I am an ant. No, but like you have an ant suit on because you have a human face. But he's always got sunglasses on. Yeah, he's always got the sunglasses. But like you're a human in an ant costume. Yeah. Why not just be an ant? And there's an ant colony and there's little ants. So what you're saying is that you are standing on a fabricated ant colony, so it's not real. What are you even saying? What are you talking about? It's real to me. You know what I low-key liked a lot? Antourage? Ant farms. The ant farm? Like, you know, like the big glass. Oh, you actually like them. I thought you meant like the name of his following. Oh, no, no, no. I meant like an actual ant farm. I mean, I wouldn't want one in my house because, ew. But like, I would love an ant farm in my house. That would be really fascinating. Be careful what you wish for, buddy. I'll get you a big ant farm. I mean, I think that would be pretty cool. You know what I like? Alien Ant Farm. What's the other song? That's the only one that I know. No, I mean, obviously they covered that. What was the Alien Ant Farm song? I think that's the only one I know of. Alien in the sky. You don't know that song? It's called Satellites or something? I don't know. I wouldn't even be able to. That's probably not the right song. Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. they got big from taking a michael jackson song and doing a cover of it bro how about the dude in that music video used to scare the shit out of me because his eyes were like all black what you don't remember that i remember the guy who was i think the guitarist for uh definitely not led zeppelin limp biscuit yeah had like the white uh contacts oh i wanted those so bad i wanted those so bad too oh my god i wanted them so bad i thank god i didn't become the person i wanted to be in middle school if i had a had choices like if i didn't have siblings this would be so much worse yeah like i'd have flames going up my arms i mean honestly my sister who like saved you no she pushed me down the fucking worst parts of town um because she was the first person that put a yankee fitted on me and she was like you do it like that and i was like jay okay you know you took the ball she may have been like here and you took that shit and you fucking threw the legs slammed it i did because frank was out here that is fair but she was the one that was just like you know don't listen to pokemon here's nina sky which to her credit sky to her credit a good pivot in some regards as i was growing up but like she was very supportive of you getting spray panted t-shirts that were way too big i don't know if she was supportive of that okay i can i there was a line that might have been the you know the fully created monster you know eventually frankenstein's monster broke out from the lab you know what i'm saying at that point you can't control it you need the torches big yes sir are we gonna keep the hat like that fair question to be fair unbelievable unbelievable amounts of disrespect how does he take off the hat and the hair looks good i don't know how do you do not on really i just it's not moving the sound you're making um but good for you i forgot what i was saying so your your siblings like reeled you in from like making terrible choices earrings i mean earrings wouldn't have been bad oh my god there's people watching this have been like if joe sanagato had a diamond stud in his ear why i would have double earrings oh that's right because one of them you would have been gay yeah gay well what was the gay ear uh the right the right one the right one and can you do me a favor google which year is the gay ear which which such a crazy how is that how did we assign straight years was that i don't know was that based in any reality like there was i'll tell you what in in queens there was a reality yeah there was a saying that was just like the left like like if you just get just the right or just the left yeah yeah yeah the right yeah right was the gay one yeah just make just you know that's my dominant ear though domin you have a dominant ear i mean i'm right handed i assume this is doing a better job than over here i don't think that's how that works i think you pick to be dominant in your hands then i pick right ear i will say this thank god you did have your siblings because i was probably the one that was pushing you down the path of just like yeah you would have made me worse too i mean both do you remember i mean i had some tattoo ideas that were pretty bad none were as bad as yours yeah that was a pretty bad one i also like again we were big fans of need for speed underground too and i with every part of my soul being serious wanted to get like a souped up nissan 350z or a fucking with neon lights on the floor a toyota celica with neon lights around you know i did too to be fair like the one where like the tires for some reason go out like that like i'm drifting what is that about it's a drifting thing it's gotta be is it it has to be i don't know i thought hydraulics were really cool i'm like yo get this car bouncing dude yeah because i'd be watching a fucking music video and i'd be like these are the coolest people i've ever seen in my entire life i still don't get hydraulics and like why that's cool like it's like i i think we have since come around to being like that's a little ridiculous but like you're gonna tell me if you're riding down the street and you got a car that's just fucking kind of fire you know what i'm coming back around on it back in put them on your car this is the worst time for me to get back into it because i could make these decisions now you could technically put hydraulics in your car what would you do if i pulled up here and i said look out the window and it was the the horn and then my fucking car is just i have like a 67 coupe and it's just bouncing down the street i would immediately be like how much money did you spend on that and also you hate your children i guess because i know this costs too much money can you do me a favor, Ant. Can you go to a website where we can build a car? Ant, I don't think that. Literally don't do that. I would have to make the website. Just look up how much it would take to get hydraulics to make a car fucking bounce. How much does it cost to make the fucking hood blow off? I'm just talking like, I want this shit to just be fucking hopping down the street. Yeah, like a bunny we should ask exhibit dude he doesn't know it used to exceeds ten thousand dollars i figured it would be around there that's a lot of money but you would need custom paint so look up like a pearlescent green or candy paint candy paint green white on candy paint white on top just look it up and shut up candy paint no post malone all right all right no i know i know Look at the 24 inch spinning Sprewell rims Do you remember they would sell like those as hubcaps And they were like the flimsiest plastic Candy paint green cost Because I wanted to be green on the inside And green on the outside Oh my god It could be from 2500 to over 15 G's See Well it depends on the It's the amount of candy It's the amount of candy green It's the candy paint Damn I might I might kind of want to Like I'm not going to can he paint your car that'd be insane i would i i would like a cool color car that would be don't you have like enough candy in your car already no he's got piss no first of all both of you cut it out no you got seeds in there i got i got a lot of sunflower seeds i got a lot is there still like a lot of seeds in there oh yeah bags bags i mean i empty the bags out yeah but like i get about 10 bags every time i go that lasts me a couple weeks and then 10 bags of seeds yeah every time i come in yeah it's one bag i split it up so it's half on the way in half on the way out and it's all big bags too the 300 grams the tatum red where do you get them now i got my places i'm not gonna say where because then people are gonna fucking go and buy them no one's gonna do that you're the only one buying them by the tens there is a uh turkish uh supermarket in tom's river that i frequent uh and then there is a very specific supermarket directly off the bqe in staten island i know i know that also has them wow and it's perfect how did you find have you are you just driving around to supermarkets and trying to find them i have my methods of finding things. I like my sunflower seeds. Why are you making it sound like you're a secret agent and you can find things? Well, because we live in a time now. Yeah, I'm not listening to this. I'm not listening to that. No, no, no. Now you opened the canopy. Allow my baboon ass to fly out at you. that was one of the craziest and I actually love that one out of all the ones usually they're bad that was amazing open the canopy and let my baboon ass fly out at you that's insane oh man also I guess we have some sponsors to get to now right after the baboon ass oh and good It's a brand new sponsor we've never done before. Isn't it what I think it is? Kachava. Yep. Kachava. They got good shit. I'm sorry. It's done again. My bad. It's really good. They opened up the canopy too. They got it. Let me show them. Kachava is amazing. Okay. This is, it provides clean nutrition to fuel whatever your day takes you to. No fillers, no nonsense, no artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, non-GMO, no soy, no animal products. It is amazing. But two scoops of that is 25 grams of protein, 6 grams of fiber. There's greens, adaptogens, and so much more. Honestly, when I found out that they were going to be a sponsor on the show, I was very excited because they send you some free bags. But I've been buying cachava for a year, like literally the last like five years or something like that. I did research on good proteins because there's only a certain types that agree with me. And this is one of them. And they have everything. It's really good. But they have really good flavors. They have chocolate, which is delicious. I cannot stop drinking the chai. The chai is unbelievable. The vanilla is very good. They also have matcha, coconut, acai, and strawberry, which I haven't tried the strawberry and I would like to. but you could try it risk-free with their love it guarantee but yeah it's really good but they have all this stuff in it like i said you know they have six gram of fiber 25 grams of protein so it's really good so you could stick with your wellness goals go to cachava.com and use the code basement for 15 off that is cachava we'll spell it for you k-a-c-h-a-v-a.com slash basement uh to get that 15 off but go check it out there's you know you'll see all the nutritional facts on the website. You'll see how much it has to offer, but really good. Cachava.com. The code is BASEMENT, okay? And sorry, we also have HelloFresh. HelloFresh is going to bring the joys of, you know, cooking right to your doorstep. They make it easy for this time of year. 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My mom is a massive HelloFresh fan. So it's awesome. Go check it out. Yeah. You know what else is awesome? Patreon. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. I tell you about how awesome it is every week. All right? And if I have to say it again, I'm going to be mad about it. But you know what? I'm not going to be mad about it. And I am going to say it again. You want more of us? Go to Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Take a look at those tiers. That first tier that'll get you these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. That's right. 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So until then, go to a web browser, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Sign up. We love you. Wow. So really quick. I'm sorry. I know. Please just give me 10 seconds to explain what I wanted to say before. Sure. We are in a society where people aren't gatekeeping cool things anymore. We need to be better at that. Gatekeeping? Yes. so like i am not telling people where i get my seeds like everywhere i get my seeds because then they're gonna get it and they're gonna take it from me so it's the same thing with like if people find like a cool like niche restaurant they like i have to tell the world about this no no keep it amongst your small group other people will find it naturally but like we gotta we gotta gatekeep cool things more yeah if you think your sunflower seeds are that cool i got news for you they fucking are okay just like our fucking patrons uh i got something oh boy so i found this guy on tiktok that plays a note on his keyboard and he asked you what does it sound like more this item or this item what are the items well one example is one time it was either gushers or olive oil and he plays a note and you have to think what does it sound like most to you i feel like gushers would be like no it's like musical it's not the sound of it's like then it would just be gushers can we have an example olive oil would be like oh this looks like sean williams scott a little bit sean williams scott and diplo so okay so for example does this sound more like windshield wipers or an etch-a-sketch i don't even know that's how you say that okay this looks more like windshield wipers or an etch-a-sketch this is easy the fuck is that the first of all that sounds like a video game but but which one does it does is it sound or taste he said looks he said looks i don't get it i just was going all right so then do it again close your eyes i'll close my eyes let's go so do it again does this sound more like you think this looks more like windshield wiper close your eyes we're an etch-a-sketch i mean that's that's easy that's an etch-a-sketch obviously like it's the it's the you can hear sand it's sandy it's a sandy game frankie you were listening very intently what do you think it sounds like i i would say etch-a-sketch it felt like shifty like yeah yeah i would say that did you get that yeah all right yeah that one's easy i feel like that's Like, is that all this is? It's not like... I mean, but... All right. Do you think this smells more like roasted garlic? Smells. Or chocolate dipped ice cream? Oh, oh, oh. Hold on. Smells more. So he's going off of smelling now. So we're going to have to close our eyes and we're going to have to sniff. Frank, do it the first time. Please, no, do it. Do it again. Go. Starts in the beginning. Close your eyes? Close your eyes. All right. I'm closing my eyes. Do you think this smells more like roasted garlic Or chocolate dipped ice cream You fucking bitch I heard you come over and try to scare me I got him I got him Alright seriously do it again I'm not doing it a third time I will actually close my eyes this time Why don't we try something different Do you think this smells more like campfire smoke Or copper What is copper I don't even know what the fuck Copper smells like Like a penny? To me that was aggressively copper Oh really? I got smoke on that I got smoke too It's like airy It's like that And it's like Play it again and watch me It sounded like metal Do you think this smells more like campfire smoke? Or copper? We both were smoke on that. I was smoke too. But it still felt like copper to me. Copper! Sorry, just a laugh snuck up on me. Copper. One more, one more. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Give me a taste. Give me a taste. I don't know. There's one right there. He's got his tongue out. Oh, there is a tongue out. Oh, tonguey. Listen closely. Pause it. Do you think this tastes... What the hell was that? oh tonguey okay listen closely do you think this tastes more like smarties or an ice wait pause it it was what was he saying i don't know the smarties suck yo i think they're super underrated i think they are appropriately rated no i like smarties the like they're just i used to love them as a kid and then i grew up and i stopped wanting to drive a Nissan 350z with blue neon lights underneath allegedly I think they're good also Canadians Smarties is different yeah it called like we ussies no they call the Smarties rockets They definitely not rockets No They definitely not rockets All right, what do you say? I probably have to listen closely. Do you think this tastes more like Smarties or an ice blue Gatorade? First, whoa, that woke something up in me. I was like, uh, I'm going Gatorade. I have blue Gatorade. I guess so, because Smarties to me would taste like... Alright. Do more, do more, do more! Okay. One more. I want some of that. No, do like ten more. Ten more? Why not? Alright, alright, alright. Listen closely. Do you think this looks more like a cracked phone screen glare, or fireflies flickering? oh you know i was on fireflies in the beginning i was too i swear to god i was on fireflies but then i was like it's too fast to be fireflies fireflies would be like yeah it's more like it felt more like a across the screen glare like oh yeah it felt like if like yes yeah that's exactly right i can't say it better than that yeah no i would say yeah when was the last time Oh, you probably see fireflies. Yeah, we get them a lot in the front backyard. That's a cool animal. They're also cool because they let you catch them. They're slow, so you can catch them and hold them, and then you look at them. And they're willing to hang out in your hand. They hang out, and then they fly away, and it's cute. And they're not really gross. They fly like this kind of. No, they don't. They have wings. No, dude. Yeah, but it looks like their foot. No, it's out of their butts. They open their ass. Yeah, their ass opens up into wings. Is this a lightning bug? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, they kind of fly like that. No. They don't have wings. Where do you grow up? They do fly. They have like hands, but it's on their ass. Their wings are on their ass. Yes, brother. They're like... And their ass is on fire. They're like quadrupods. What you're referencing is like bipods. Like if they're bipedal. Well, I don't have wings, so my hands aren't the bug's hands. These are the bug's wings. But they don't even do... They're more back here. And they're back here, and they go like this. Like this is like a firefly. See, I'm a firefly. Yes, not this. This is nothing, really. That seems almost kind of... This is nothing. But aren't they butt down when they're glowing? They're like this, dude. This is a firefly. You see this? He's right. That's what a firefly is. He is very right. And why does their ass light up like a Christmas tree? I think it is like a communication mating thing. You know, like... Oh, like, look at my white ass. Look at my fucking sweet ass. Come fuck it. That was so aggressive. That was crazy. Yo, you... Are you gay? Like, if you are. I wasn't talking for me. I was talking for the firefly. I'm just saying this in conjunction with like, you know. Because I said fuck my firefly ass when I'm not the firefly. I'm not the firefly. Careful. I just want to, look, if you are, I want you to know I love you and support you no matter what. Thanks. To attract mates. You got it. Oh, so it is like that. So you're right, actually. And it's every night in the summer, so they're horny. Dude, so horny and like a lot of horny. You know what I mean? Imagine if you look at one time too because you're like, yo, there's a hundred horny fireflies. Imagine looking out at like Times Square and like someone was doing, everyone was doing something or people were doing something to indicate they're horny. I guess that's actually a bad thing because there are people doing that. Illegal. Illegal. Yeah, I think that's illegal. But I'm saying like, bro, look at a crowd, like look at a field and you just see. Horny. Sex. yeah are does it do they both light up if they're doing the deed what is a female lightning but i guess well what what do the different what yeah is there the mating patterns of lightning bugs do they both light up what a male lightning bug is like looks like and a female lightning bug what they look like they both light their butts up do they have a lightning penis give me a second you guys could you would think that would light up if i were to pick anything on my body that can illuminate at will it's my penis they both light up and they often use their light different for mating males flash as they fly to attract females who respond with their own specific flashes from a stationary position oh so it's like a horny light morse code it's like it's like that's exact it's like a horny flash tag yeah it's like sos but like come fuck me yeah yeah yeah like s t f dtf dtf instead of sos dtf isn't want to be like dtl down to light no dude they're fucking down to firefly down to down to firefly yeah that's a good point or or lightning what are they insects oh my god dude you think that the the male lightning bugs are like i'm a lightning bug but i'm bringing the thunder no i also what do they eat um probably leaves they're herbivores that's not the word herbivore i hear herbivores i imagine leaves like what else could they eat and it's really earning his paycheck yeah he is yeah um they eat snails slugs worms other insects snails slugs and These things are half the size of all of those. I feel like a snail could kick the shit out of a firefly. Maybe like a decomposing one? Some do pollen, nectar. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Females eat other fireflies. That's very common. That's a common thing in the bug world. They'll just be like, I'm going to fuck you and then I'm going to rip your head off. Oh, and the women are like, I'm just going to eat the body. Isn't that what praying mantises do? Like praying mantises. Those guys are crazy. Dude, have you seen one in the vial? I don't know why I went German. What was that? Yeah. I was like, what? Have you seen like one in the wild? Yeah. I saw one upstate once. It was in a tire. Dude, first of all, big bugs. I thought they were poisonous. My parents were like, get away from it. I was like, why? Well, they are protected from what I was told. Maybe someone was just making shit up. But like we saw like at our old house, we were like, I was like mowing the lawn and I saw a bunch of things crawling up the fence we had like the white privacy like pvc fence and then i was like i stopped and i looked and it were baby oh baby praying answers bro hundreds of them were they praying or they're not there yet they weren't there well maybe i couldn't see because they're so small but then i saw like they're like i imagine parents people were like yo stay away don't fuck with them like they're protected like you don't want to like get in trouble for like killing them which how the fuck would anyone know but yeah they're sick yeah i mean my uncle's friend convinced me that those red ants the very tiny ones suck blood and i cried why'd you fire ants because it was on you because they were on me a little bit i don't even think they're technically ants i think they're like spiders technically i don't know you know i'm talking about those really like dot red ones very dot red yeah yeah yeah yeah oh i thought you're talking about like fire ants no no no no fire ants are like yeah oh you want to talk about fucking a butt are they around not here i think they're indigenous to africa amazon yeah or maybe south america yeah i think i remember watching an episode of wild boys and there was a tribe that steve-o and pontius visited that like in order to like become a man you had to put your hand in this glove and the glove was filled with fire ants bullet ants i think i think bullet ants would kill you no it just hurts really really bad damn i kind of want to get bit by one it's the worst bite on the planet. Really? Bullet ants are the worst. No, no, no. It's like... It's an ant. What about a shark? That's got to hurt a bit. Yeah. Duh. But they're saying like in terms of like stings, they say that bullet ant... You guys never saw Coyote Peterson? Hi, I'm Coyote Peterson and this is the sting zone. The bite zone. The bug zone. I don't know. Coyote Peterson is a crazy name for a human. He just got... He did a tier ranking. Bro, pull up the animals. Have you ever heard of a... Type in Coyote Peterson. No, I'm serious. He did like a series of videos. He does it like educationally where he's like, I'm getting bit or stung by these things in order to like tell people how to deal with it, if they come across them or shit like that. He has a ranking, you said? Yeah. And there was one that was called... An executioner wasp? Dude, there are some that it's like, yo, the tarantula hawk. What the fuck is that? Yo, once you see this thing, you'll be like... Bullet ants number three. Bro, that's crazy. Oh, I always thought Bullet ants number one. Pain lasting up to 24 hours? I'm good. Then there were some that like a stonefish, they have some of the worst venom on the planet and this guy like gets stung by them to like show you what happens. And then what? Just takes a bunch of antidotes? Well, he like shows you like what happens, like how your body reacts if you need like some form of a anti-venom. So tarantula hawk is a big wasp? Yes. But look at the size of it. Why? I wish they could show you it in comparison to something. I'm getting really uncomfortable looking at this stuff. Oh, sorry. I got you. I don't like it. No, no. Keep showing. Yeah, I'm okay. He got bit by a fucking snapping turtle. Maybe on hand? On hand. Oh, skew. See, this makes me uncomfortable. Oh, no, no, no. Dude, look at that thing. Why are they all spread out like they're getting a massage? Dude, isn't that crazy? Yeah, those are disgusting. I think that's the video where he got stung. Dude, that- Because he holds them with those forceps. By the abdomen, he said it's very safe. Oh, yeah, Brave Wilderness. Yeah, Brave Wilderness, Coyote Peterson. Why don't we get him in here? We get bit by a couple things. Does he, like, just eat it? He's like, that hurts. No, he's like, and he, like, rolls around on the ground. Can I see a picture of this guy? Bald white dude. Yeah. Coyote? Coyote Peterson. That is such a crazy name. Dude, try to pull up a TikTok where you can see. It's kind of porny. That's Coyote? That's Coyote Peterson. Yeah, this guy looks like a guy who stings himself. oh would you excuse me is this like what am i doing here the snapping turtle they're big dude oh they'll fuck you up when i was younger i wanted a snapping turtle like stupid i wanted like a big cage and like put a snapping turtle in it one of my earliest memories is at the lake house um there was a snap because that water the lake there's snapping turtles there and there was one that like i'm trying to explain to you this will make no sense to them but like you know where my doc goes out yeah and you know that like the family next to us has that little cove right next to us and then there's a tree that little island that little island not not not an island it's like attached i guess it's technically a peninsula but it's a lake but like right in front of that big rock underneath there a fucking snapping to a big snapping turtle i remember like one of my earliest memories of seeing my father and our neighbor wrestling to get this thing out of there and it was giving them hell brother a tort like can you just pick it up you could if you get in the right position but like they could be huge bro they could be like this big so cool and they will take your fucking fingers clean off i gotta go to the galapagos and get in the water with like a like a tortoise see that's different my guy that's a sea turtle i'm talking about like a like a nasty fucker oh like louisiana bayou snapping turtle i want to do that too like fan boating belt fanning whatever that's called where you get a boat with a big fan no that'd be cool no way the only thing no fucking way let's go to louisiana and do that oh and then we'll eat some like jambalaya crawfish and stuff are you done no absolutely not and how can we bribe him let's get a bribe going You gotta bribe Here comes Oh my god He's gonna sting himself Bribe him? It's just I mean physically You would need to monetarily pay me a lot of money to do that Do you wanna see him get stung by this? Sure He doesn't have an accent? No he's a white guy He's a person Oh that sucks Look at that stinger Oh yeah By the way the audio on this is off That's not what he sounds like. Yeah, it's slowed down, I guess, so someone can post it. Let's sting the boy. Here it is. God damn. Oh, yeah. Show him the goods, baby. I don't like the feet. I hate the feet. Just go already, coyote. Oh Watch watch watch bang Yeah, here's the thing pause it. Here's the thing Bro, first of all, you know what I thought he was gonna do fucking slap this thing dude I thought he was reaching for someone who's gonna smash it It's it's like now that I see it cuz I watch it like with my kids But like seeing it now outside of that context like he's just writhing in pain on the ground rolling God that's gotta hurt like hell Bro and he's done it with like other shit Like crazy shit too Like the stonefish just pull up a picture of that bastard It's got blue venom coming from it's fucking Did he get venomized? What's that called? Poisoned? Venomousized Yeah What the hell is that? Yeah you think it looks all fun and games Show him those fucking does or them baby Dude what a crazy guy Shout out to a coyote Dude the ocean is just disgusting up i hate it so gross blood worms i don't speaking of copper they got copper teeth i think what the teeth are copper you never seen a blood worm it can't have copper teeth no i believe their teeth are made of copper i'm sure copper how is that pop okay i don't know while you're pulling that up on let me get to these these i have more ads here more ads here uh we have better help this podcast is sponsored by better help uh better help is online therapy so if you want to get connected to a therapist in a clean fashion, you can do so through BetterHelp. They have a bunch of licensed therapists that are going to help you through whatever you have. I am a big proponent of therapy. I think everyone should be in it. And it's amazing. I've been in it for close to six years, I think, at this point. 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Feature products include compounded drug products with the FDA, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality prescription required. see website for full details restrictions and important safety information individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride great all right show me the stone what am i seeing blood worm you got one uh i was more looking up if their teeth are made of copper it just looks like a worm but it is it's like how we have a little bit of copper in our body at all times they have a high concentration in their teeth yeah i learned that the hard way you did iron it's amazing we benefited greatly from my stupidity well i guess that's what the whole show is i mean we our individual stupidity has only for some reason done well for us and then our combined stupidity now we're talking about now we're talking about madison square carton you know what i'm talking about now we're talking like imagine being so dumb so stupid so fucking absolutely stupid that you dumb your way to the top and you get nominated for fucking iheart podcast best comedy podcast best ensemble podcast what a time it's a really good thing to be stupid sometimes sometimes but we're also kind i think that's the difference between us and the rest of the world kind of stupid are you bullying is that what we're doing no i was clarifying to be to be clear he's bullying Did your father ever see the clip of us talking about you? He did. He actually... He was pissed? He talked to me about it, and I said, this is what they want. Please stop. Well, does he know what you recently did? This can't be. What are we doing? So I invited Ant to come to my daughter's birthday party. I was there. I didn't see him. No, no, no. The one that you will not be at. Oh, the one coming up. Yes, the one that you can't make. uh and and ant said to me he goes do i need to i said well no man i'd like for you to you know if you want you know no pressure and he goes how can i be less supportive of you and i said i mean this is starting to border on the line of you're being disrespectful and then he pulled out a picture of you and spit at his own phone what was the picture for to show that he disrespected you too oh okay i did ask him one time to come to my birthday and he said how much does it pay i was like this it's just my birthday it's not part of your job yeah and he was like he just kept going like this he's like what's the brass tacks with this whole like are you are you getting my uber what's well when i asked him to come he's like could we post a tiktok in your house and i said why and he said optics i'm only coming if it looks good which optics which is fucked mr prisco i want you to know that we are inviting your son into our lives are like our home our personal life yeah now i gotta pay for that ten thousand dollars that's what that's all he charged you what'd he charge you you're blowing up the spot right here what are you 12 000 i thought i could get a little that's insane what'd you think that he was he wants to be your friend more he paid it he paid it oh god well we have not yet been asked by a billionaire to do a party just want to say that yeah i mean i would rather not shut the fuck up what do you mean If a billionaire calls you tomorrow and says, I'm going to pay you and your dumbass Hispanic friend $250,000 cash each to show up to my party. If he uses that language, you're going to say, I'll do it for free. It's like, uh, what the fuck? You and your dumbass Hispanic friend. Hold on. Serious situation. Do your Elon Musk impression? Wow. Glad I asked. Doesn't Elon Musk look like if you shoved a baby into a water bottle? He looks like when you watch a horror movie and you see someone's face in a jar. He looks like if you sneezed really hard in slow motion and someone got like a screenshot of it at the perfect time. Do you remember the original X-Men movie? Do you remember when Senator Kelly like becomes a mutant and melts into like a blob? Yeah, you said this. That's what he looks like. Yeah. oh have we done this have we talked about elon musk a bit what do you think he looks like mashed potatoes that's a great example i love mashed potatoes i do too i like when there's when they're more creamy though when when they call it not mashed potatoes yeah they call it like whipped potatoes whipped whipped garlic potatoes whipped potatoes can take me across its knee and whip me whip you okay with right in your right in your boy potato right in my fucking baboon red ass until it's red as a baboon there you go spank it i also do you ever go to a restaurant and they bring out the like co2 can of it no they have like a batman they have like a metal can and they come why am i getting small but they have like a metal can and they come over and they just go and it's whipped potatoes and then you taste it and you're like i figured out how to make restaurant style mashed potatoes this is serious butter uh also a potato ricer that too yeah i have that and let me tell you those mashed potatoes that i've been making is that good yeah so as i was saying a billionaire calls you up yeah you know hey joe it's me um a billionaire billionaire it's me the billionaire yeah you and your buddy i'll pay you guys a quarter of a million dollars each come to my house i said buddy he wanted buddies sure you can come too but you don't get the money we're an ensemble honestly i'll come and not get the money that's fine you're right he's charging me 12 000 no no if they said like a billionaire it's like you and your your buddy and the the guy that bullies you off camera yeah come to my party i'll give you 250 000 each cash you'll walk out with a briefcase walk out a briefcase you're not fucking doing it of course oh and and the party's in manhattan why manhattan okay you can think of a different place not a single other place dude do we ever tell you this that in my pool growing up i had a small pool and we had this like uh it was mad heavy and it was like a rocket and you could throw it underwater to each other and we would go in the pool and sit on the bottom of the pool and throw it at each other's penises and you weren't allowed to block it if it hits you in the penis it hits you in the penis this thing hurts was solid rubber like dense like solid rubber and it was bouncing off of my wiener as a young boy and hurting me joey also had the like the flapper in his pool would come down and we would make whirlpools and they fucking caught me on the back and shit her like a bastard yeah used to have a little deck that my dad built and then we broke that down by accident jumping off the railing well keith did it keith we have videos of keith oh one of the keith video movies oh he jumped off the top deck show that dylan has number two he sent me a picture of it recently have you been in my my mom's backyard no well no you don't have you have to pony up and pay him if you want to get him oh yeah that's true okay so expensive to get in places um pony up but he keith used to be a fucking nut job he would just jump off of shit he's that kind of guy used to jump into bushes bush diving we all did it well yeah i was yeah i did it because he was doing it we all did it wasn't my idea i told the story to miles the other day when like because it snowed and we had snow everywhere and like how they would put like on the corners and in astoria they would do like the big mountains mountains and i like was cool and would run and try to dive through them and the last time i did it it was solid ice yeah and i was trying to do it to impress a girl and he was like did it work and i was like no miles no it didn't no it didn't do the only thing that i took away from that was shoulder pain yeah yeah shoulder pain it hurt and he had amnesia and it made him think that he's the michael phelps because he jumped in a pool i drink tea i'm a good swimmer i'm around water all the time i'm sure that's another part of it do you think i am water do you think if you pee while you're swimming you get a little bit propulsion i feel like yeah that's a great question and it has to be yes i feel like even if i wanted to not try it i will you ever pee in the water and your penis is like no no no no no and then it finally is like okay. You know what I mean? Go ahead. Just take that out. Just take it out. No. The times that I've peed in bodies of water my piss is like cool. But apparently that's dangerous to pee in bodies of water. They say that like worms can swim up your cock. It's in like specific lakes and places you'll never go. Yeah like the Amazon or something. I think in Connecticut you'll be alright. I've ripped many a piss in that pond. Brother, I've probably pissed in that lake more times than I have in a toilet up there. I've peed in the lake and the woods more than I have in a toilet at my lake house. Honestly, probably. Probably me too. Dude, nothing was cooler than having a night of drinking and then just ripping the fattest fucking piss on a tree. What's better than taking a piss outside? You know what I mean? Taking a piss outside. In the woods. With a beer in your hand? Now we're talking about fun. You know, like in a cigar and you're hanging out of your mouth. Just pissing in the woods. Now you got too much in your hands, brother. Well, you know, you're drunk. You smoked a cigar. You, by the way. A long time. What are you talking about? Like two years ago, a beer in this hand with a cigar like this and you're just taking a pee. Not even touching your wiener. Just going like this and letting it hit the woods. Not having to care for where your stream goes is so cool. like we have to like be careful of the seat and like not pee on the floor you know like i'm talking like let this piss fucking rip and who cares what you get if i'm peeing outside i will actively try to cover as much surface area as possible i'm like i want to feed all the plants and i will try to pee as hard as i can i am convincing myself that my piss stream is gonna break through tree bark i bro yes or i want to like i'm gonna shoot my pee so hard into the dirt that's gonna kick up a bunch and if it's a little chilly outside and you see the steam rising from your piss i love that i love my steam yeah dude this steam is so cool oh i love this so cool it is so crazy that our body operates at 98.6 temperature like degrees all the time yeah so then when you piss and you see that hot piss hell yeah you're like pretty cool science yeah you're like yo i'm a fucking demon i am a i'm pissing hot i'm pissing so high i'm gonna burn the earth off of my piss yeah i imagine like devil went down to Georgia playing in my head. And I'm fucking seeing the steam rise from my piss. Yeah. Did you know? I was just enjoying here. Did you ever pee outside? I peed outside. He doesn't. I think it'd be a cooler sensation if it was cold pee. Shut the fuck up, dude. What the hell? It's the opposite of what we're saying. What a stupid thing to say. Freezing cold pee coming out of your penis. Your penis would be so cold. You suck. your piss sucks i feel like it'd be cool like imagine feeling cold pee in your bladder like you suck your piss sucks how about that i feel like that wouldn't feel good that would make my penis go no yep he's right it's true yeah you can't have it too hot though because then you're like yo what's going on well yeah if you piss too hot then then it's you gotta hit the doc then you gotta go talk to the doctor like i'm pissing too hot but if it's like warm that's good yeah sometimes i have a fever and then i'll pee i'm like yeah my piss is hot brother that my fever pisses are crazy for pisses are fucking insane yeah i'm like yo the water's gonna boil it feels like i'm pissing yeah like i'm pissing lava yeah dude i'm like looking at the bowl i'm like yo and it's also sharp you know what i'm talking about like sometimes it comes out i'm like what's going on i feel like that like maybe that there's like rocks in this which i kidney stones no not toes like safer rocks uh-huh i've never had a kidney stone knock on wood oh my god oh i just drew on my pants we're talking about pissing ourselves yeah well not peeing ourselves but peeing on something yeah peeing like men being in the woods so much you ever getting a tick no and that's a big fear of mine no i never got one me neither no all right well i guess we can end the show there congratulations that was the ant question of the day don't put a fucking ant question graphic over that you're gonna tick no that scares me to death though i'm not even kidding ticks are terrifying to me i wouldn't want one yeah anything that could burrow in me i'm good yeah yeah i'm good um anyway uh frank where can they find you bud frank alvarez everywhere go check out patreon patreon.com slash TheBaseMeYard. We love you, we thank you, and we'll see you next week. Ant? Ant Prisco on Instagram? Ant. That's the Ant Colony. Go follow me at Joe Sanagato. Go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at TheBaseMeYard, and that is all. See you guys next time.