I said there's a ship there, there's a ship. The first day God made heaven and earth, sea and all that in them is. The seventh day he sent the Robertsons a ship. Ship ahoy, ship ahoy. A speck on the horizon. There. This was it. Dad was right. Please see us, please. We're going to be rescued. We're not going to die. We've survived. Dad was right. It's getting closer. Get out the flares. We've got flares. We're not going to need them after today, are we? So we may as well fire them. They've got the flares. But then, a problem. At the worst possible moment. The bloody hell! How do you work the bloody thing? We realised we hadn't read the instructions. We didn't know how to send them up. Dad, come on, come on. OK, OK, I've got it. Dougal's hands are shaking uncontrollably. And he pulls the trigger. Whoosh! Glowing red, hanging in the sky. Surely, surely. Dougal lets off another flare, just to be sure. It spirals down, leaving a trail of white smoke Lord Jesus, save us The ship is a couple of miles away Please, save us The crew on board must be able to see them This could be our only chance Look, look! Please see us The ship's getting closer and closer So close they can read its name on the side They wait and watch She's not showing any signs of slowing down She's not slowing down Douglas blows on a whistle My mother said, please see us Lord Jesus, save us Please see us Dad was cursing the ship Luke, you bastards! Shouting at them, swearing at them It's getting further away. It's getting further away. Luke, you bastards! I couldn't read the name anymore. She hasn't seen us. She hasn't seen us. She hasn't seen us. Disappeared over the horizon. And then it was gone. gone. This is Adrift, an Apple original podcast produced by Blanchard House. I'm Becky Milligan. Episode 4 Recriminations We're alone again. A tiny speck in the vast ocean. They sit there, stunned. Devastated. Why didn't they see us? This was the day we were going to be saved. Hope had vanished. Emptiness. Despair. We really were on our own. Douglas looks at his dad. His face was stone. Dougal is desperate and angry, but he's also thinking. He's got to come up with another plan, a plan which can't fail this time. He's made an oath to get his boys back to land. He looks at his crew. The hope had gone. The hope had gone out of us. From the moment the loose set went down, they've all believed the only way out of this is to be rescued. If those wretched, bloody seamen couldn't rescue us, then to hell with them. We'll have to make it on our own. We're just going to have to do it ourselves. It was down to us. Survival, not rescue. And to get their fight back, Dougal introduces a new rule. A rallying call. Every morning. What's the password for today? Survival. Survival. Survival. Survival. Survival. Survival. Survival. And to survive, they need water. Three days without it, and they'll be dead. The only place they'll find fresh water in the middle of the Pacific is from the skies above them, from the clouds. Rain. The problem is, there's no sign of rain, so they have to go where it does rain. And that place is the doldrums. The dreaded doldrums near the equator. A place sailors avoid because there's so little wind. Boats can get stuck there for weeks or even months on end. It's hot, humid and wet. Our noon position confirmed that the doldrums were about 90 miles away. We believed that when we got to the doldrums, the rain would come tumbling down. It'll take days, maybe even a week to get there, so they'll really have to ration their drinking water. There was no other option left. This was it. Doldrums are a bust. But there's a flaw in the plan. The doldrums might bring them closer to rain, but because there so little wind they could easily get stuck there It not just the water they have to watch The food they found in the survival kit fortified bread and sweets it won't last long. But they've had a bit of luck. It's the crack of dawn. All of a sudden we were wide awake. What's happened? It sounded like she'd been attacked. She was complaining that a fish had slapped around the face. We didn't know what it was. From my mother's description, it could have been the Loch Ness Monster. After scrabbling around in the raft, they find the culprit. A small flying fish. It was only about six inches long, you know. I guess it frightened the hell out of her. I'm not used to being hit in the face by a fish at four o'clock in the morning. Oh. I mean, it can't be the most pleasant of experiences, you know. So it sort of flew in? Yeah, it flew in through the raft, yeah. It's a flying fish, I suppose, that's what they do, they fly. But we had breakfast that morning. The flying fish doesn't go to waste. We thought, well, it's a meal that we're getting from the sea. What did it taste like? It was cold and it was wet. It wasn't very appetising, to be honest. But it was food. and we were wondering where on earth food was going to come from. There were vital mouthfuls, mouthfuls of hope, really, because although that didn't satisfy any hunger, it showed that the sea contained life and we could work out how to catch it. To survive, they will have to hunt. One day, near the end of the first week, Dougal and Douglas are in the small dinghy, the one with the makeshift sail that's towing the life raft. Along came this turtle, and I looked at it, and it looked at me. He grabs a paddle. I whacked it on top of the head, and I saw its eyes fill up with blood, and it swam away. But then another one comes along. Quick, Douglas, grab it! Douglas gets hold of the turtle's back flippers. One, two, three. They heave it on board. It's a big beast. The dinghy nearly capsizes. And we have this turtle now on its back, flipping away like mad in a state of panic. And he's fighting the turtle. It was man against beast. Dougal has the knife. Poor old turtle. They're triumphant. Dougal is covered in turtle blood. He just looked like a cartoon castaway. It's brutal, especially for Neil. I felt really sorry for the turtles. They're minding their own business, aren't they? And now they're dead. Oh, poor things. I felt guilty about it. And then... Bonus of all bonuses. They realise they've caught a female. She was full of eggs, the size of grapes, big grapes. You just squeeze egg yolk into your mouth. Smooth, creamy, delicacy. But Robin isn't so keen. There's a certain amount of hesitation. By the time Dougal has finished butchering the turtle, they have about 20 pounds of meat and bone. It looked like the bloodiest of slaughterhouses. Strips of bloody meat and bits of turtle strung up all around. For lunch, we happily gnawed the bones. We had slipped back a few thousand years in time. We not only looked like cavemen, but we were beginning to feel like them too. Douglas remembers something he's read. I said, you can drink the blood, Dad. It sounds disgusting, but they're so dehydrated, there's nothing to lose. Next turtle, we're going to drink the blood. We're going to drink this turtle's blood. So when the next one comes along, Dougal cuts its neck, the blood sprays out, and he catches it in a cup. I didn't think he was actually going to drink it. But he does. And he said, it's not salty. Soft, smooth, warm, a bit like drinking a milkshake. Yes, it was a little bit vampirish, but you felt it was doing you some good. Why not? We were really starting to survive off the sea. We were using everything the sea gave to us. Dougal throws what remains of the turtles over the side. and then an explosion of water behind us as the sharks attack the shells. A day goes by. A night. Another day. Another night. trying to keep the raft afloat. Lynne keeps the children busy. I made all of them bail out and mop up. Everything must be tidied away, just like at home. Lynne insisted that they all keep to their set routines and complete their jobs properly. It's hard, though. They're thirsty and hungry and they're young. There are good days and bad days Tempers frayed when Lynne ordered Douglas and Robin to do their chores and they didn't move fast enough I tried to smooth things over but then Lynne had a go at me Just keep your bloody nose out of it, Dougal I was only trying to help Yeah, well, it doesn't help You always want to stick your nose in, tell me what to do Christ, woman, talk about pot and kettle They were having a marital discussion, let me put it like that. A strong marital discussion, let's put it like that. Their bickering turns into a full-scale row. I'm the captain. Remember, you do as I tell you women. Enough! Well, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. We wouldn't be in this mess, this bloody mess, if it wasn't for you. You'd never listen to me. You'd never listen. That's all I ever do. Listen to you, you go on and on and on. Nag, nag, nag. Misery that what you are Misery Christ if we ever get out of that that alive What What Dougal I had enough of you I just had enough of all of you We are all doing our best Dougal We are doing our best We're following orders. We're following all your orders. Yes, sir. Yes, Captain. Oh, shut up. Shut up! Robin intervenes. Remember, he's the crew member they picked up in Panama and isn't a member of the Robertson family. There was a certain amount of frustration, burning up resentment, and sometimes that pressure would suddenly come to the surface. But it was a case of trying to offer a little bit of olive branch to the two of them just to calm the situation down. You're quite a peacemaker. Yes, I suppose inevitably, because I was the one outside the family. I was the non-Robertson on board. It's a very delicate thing to do, all right, particularly where you have two strong characters, but, you know, you just trusted that things would settle down and that normal service would resume. But it doesn't. The rows continue. These stupid, senseless, silly arguments. And they got worse and worse. If one of us dies because somebody doesn't feel like doing what they are told, then take it from me that somebody will be next. He was tough? He was very tough. Mm. Who told you once and that was enough? But then that was my dad. He wasn't the best of educators. I was despotic. You know, a bit of a dictator. And maybe I caused resentment amongst my crew. Dougal, you are the master of the understatement. It was despotic. It did cause horror amongst your crew. In what way was he despotic? He shouted a lot, and he always got his way, so shouting, angry. We had to do what we were told to do. There's no democracy. There's only one man's point of view that counts, and that's your leader. It's not a committee. This is not a committee. It's not a vote. Toogle was a natural despot. he came from a job where they had rank so everybody knew where everybody was the captain is the top dog and he looks down on everybody else and maybe Dougal felt a little bit like that Did he have to be despotic? No, he didn't need to be he could have just asked you know, he didn't need to behave like that that was his choice, that was his way And why did he do it? I think he was an angry man all of his life. And I think the war didn't help him. It's something Lynne and the kids are always wary of, provoking Dougal's quick temper. Sometimes, though, they just can't avoid Dougal blowing up. December 1971, six months before the Lucette sinks. They've just set off from the Bahamas on their way to Miami. Dougal has ordered Douglas and Anne to check everything is secure. But just out of the harbour, the Lucette takes a sudden dip. We realised too late that we'd left the cupboard door open and all the crockery came out, smashed on the floor. And Dougal came down, real temper. What's going on down here? And he was standing between me and Anne. What have you been doing? You know, you can't do anything. And he said... You're not fit. You're not fit to seal my boat. And he was so violent towards Anne. What did he do? Poked her with his finger. He had fingers of steel, you know. Dougal then turns on Douglas. He was so angry and I thought he was going to go for him. So did he hit Douglas? Yeah, and Douglas hit him back. God, a real proper fight. A proper fight, yes, a proper fight. Lots of shouting and, you know, standing up to his dad for the first time in his life. And Anne was scared and she locked us off in the toilet, crying. And Dougal tried to open the door and I grabbed him. I had my arms around him, iron grip, you know, because I was very strong and he couldn't get out of my bear hug. And we had our first man-to-man wrestling match. But do you think he was surprised that you could hold him like that? Yeah, I think he was very surprised, you know, and he was struggling like that. And I said, Dougal, you've got to stop this. Stop it. And I let him go. And he turned round and he says, Pick all those bloody things up. Dougal storms off. He'd felt the full force of Douglas for the first time in his life, you know. Because you were questioning his authority. I mean, I didn't mean to do that. But he couldn't attack my sister. You know, that was... Dougal was wrong. Dougal was in the wrong. So you were finding your strength? Yeah, yeah, I was finding my strength, you know. Dougal sits on his own. Of course he can't sail the Lucette without his eldest son. My father knew that he relied on Douglas. And he realises he's gone a bit too far. And we hugged each other. I knew what Dougal was like. He was a very sort of cold person and he wasn't much of a hugger. So for him to give a hug was a big deal, you know. The raft was becoming a dangerous place to live. It was wearing us down. It was getting on top of us. The holes were getting bigger. It wasn't going to last very much longer. It was disintegrating around us. The blowing, the constant blowing, was just taking its toll. Day after day, hour after hour. The leaks were getting worse. And it's filling up with water. They have to keep baling. non-stop, non-stop, day and night. If they stop, they will sink. We were sitting in water. There was only one dry place left in the raft. There's no rest for any of them. They still have the dinghy, but they don't want to leave the raft because there's a problem, and it's a problem nobody wants to talk about. It's a three-man dinghy and there were six of us. Four adults and two kids. Dougal said Maybe there not enough room for everybody Will the dinghy hold six of us Will we have to lose somebody Who would that be? Who would it be? That was a chilling moment. We would have to find out. Who would be abandoned? Well, that was the question. It was discussed between my dad and myself. Quietly. I mean, did you go through each person? No. But you knew? We knew. You know, it was never said. It was never said. And there's only one person who's not a member of the family? Well, we all knew that. But it was never said. That is quite chilling. Decisions have to be made. Robin, God bless him. He trusted us. and maybe that trust was going to be tested. All this going on never quite said. Never said, but known. It was clear that a decision would have to be made. But thankfully for now, there is just enough food left. Robin is safe. The salt water they're sitting in is slowly destroying their skin. It's erupting in sores and boils. Our skin, it was hanging off your fingers. Raw red fingers. You just couldn't touch anything because your hands were so painful. And this was happening all over our bodies. blowing, bailing, boils and sores but the thirst is unbearable still no rain and the water supply is getting lower and lower you get weaker you're tired all the time you start shutting down you can't swallow you can't think straight it got increasingly desperate. We were constantly looking, searching for clouds. We were down to our last drops. We were so thirsty. Douglas had read all these stories about people dying of thirst at sea. It's going to be us now. You know, we're going to die of thirst. Day 14. Early morning. The sun is rising. I woke him. Dad, look at these clouds. They're different. We've got a high cloud in the sky. And I said to him, is that the doldrums? And he said, yes. Where is this rain? I told them there'd be rain. I promised them. This plan, this great plan, the doldrums, where is the rain? The idea that rain could be found in the doldrums, well, it was just that, an idea. Was the well-known rhyme of the ancient Mariner right after all. Water, water everywhere, and all the boards did shrink. Water, water everywhere. Not any drop to drink. I looked around the raft at Robin and the Robertson family. They lay in the bottom of the raft, unmoving. They were so thin. They looked like human remains. They're almost out of water. There's so little left. It was critical. Fear pressed on us all. We sat there waiting for the rain, knowing there was no way back. There was no way back, there was no way forward. We knew the end would come. It was too late to change our minds and impossible to turn back if we'd got it wrong. All we could do was wait. Wait for it to rain. Or wait until we no longer cared. Douglas turns to his dad. Will it rain tonight? And he said, I don't know. I said, Dad, I want to know if it's going to rain tonight. Douglas is like pushing him, pushing him. He kept on and on and on. Douglas was desperate. We needed rain. And if that rain didn't come, we were finished. It was as simple as that. And Dougal tells his son the truth. I'm not a prophet, Douglas. I don't know. You've been listening to Adrift, an Apple original podcast produced by Blanchard House and hosted by me, Becky Milligan. Adrift is written and produced by Ben Crichton and me, Becky Milligan. The series is based on the book The Last Voyage of the Lucette by Douglas Robertson. Original score by Daniel Lloyd-Evans, Louis Nankmanel and Toby Matimol. Sound design by Vulcan Kiseltug and Daniel Lloyd-Evans, with dialogue editing by Toby Matimol. The lead sound engineer is Vulcan Kiseltug. The part of Dougal Robertson is played by Mark Bonner and Lynn Robertson is played by Anne-Marie Duff Their words are adapted from Dougal and Lynn's own accounts of their story The young Robertson twins are played by Rocco Hamill and Dexter Hutton Other parts are played by Mark Gillis The managing producer is Amika Shortino-Nolan The creative director of Blanchard House is Rosie Pye. The executive producer and head of content at Blanchard House is Lawrence Griselle.
