Hey Story Pirates podcast listeners, Lee here! You know, we've done a lot of stories about stinky cheese here at the Story Pirates podcast, but today's story has the stinkiest cheese yet. Grownups, the Story Pirates are on tour in October! Come see your favorite Story Pirates songs live and improv based on ideas from kids in the audience, all performed by some of the funniest Story Pirates we've got. Starting October 11th, we'll be in San Luis Obispo, Ketchum, Idaho, Kalispell, Montana, Missoula, Montana, Salem, Oregon, and Boise, Idaho. Head to storypirates.com slash live to get your tickets now. We'd love to see you! Today's brand new story coming up after a few words for the grownups! I'm very different from everybody. Confusion is the step for curiosity. Okay, that's a really funny idea. We have to send that in. I just get some joy when I hear other people giggling. I believe all of the things in that story. Human beings are just able to create. The Story Pirates. Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast. I know what you're thinking. Lee, didn't you promise that the Story Pirates wouldn't do any more stories about cheese? Didn't you say the Story Pirates were done with cheese? Especially the stinky variety? It's true. I did say those things. But sometimes a story comes across your desk that is so stinky and so cheesy that it cannot be denied. Here's the author to introduce one such story. Hi, I'm Eleanor. I'm 10 years old and I live in Nova Scotia. This is my story, the stinky cheese. Wow, what a perfectly normal day at school and a normal bus ride home. Now I'll just go about my normal routine and my normal house and... Wait a minute. Something isn't normal at all. In fact, I'd say it's downright abnormal. It stinks in here. What is it? Is it the open sewer line in the living room? No, wait, that's always there. It's in the kitchen. It's cheese? Stinky cheese! No, it's a big piece of stinky Gruyere. No feta. No, it's stinky blue cheese. Stinky blue cheese! Well, there's a pretty easy way to solve this. Throw it in the trash. Wait a minute. The cheese is back on the counter. It came back? The stinky blue cheese is magic? Stinky magic blue cheese! Well, only one thing to do with magic blue cheese. I'll just throw it out the window. Done. I'm home, son. Hi, dad. You'll never believe what just happened. There was a magical stinky blue cheese in the kitchen. I thought it might be Gruyere at first, but it doesn't seem to have nearly as complex a flavor profile and... Wait a minute. You stink, too. Do I? Why are you smirking like that? Well, I just don't know what you're talking about. Now if you'll excuse me, I have no idea what cheese even is. Wait a minute. What's falling out of your pocket right now? Nothing. Stinky magic pocket blue cheese! Okay, I have an explanation for this. I can't get rid of it. It came out of our window and it landed in my pocket. I tried to throw it out. I tried to toss it out of a different window. Nothing. Those were my two ideas. So I just stuck it in my pocket and I came home. I'm scared, son. That is exactly what's happening to me, and I think I know who can help. Mom! Oh, hi, Billy. Hi, Dad. You're both home. Ugh, what stinks? Is it a piece of magic stinky blue cheese? Wow, you got there much faster than we did. Well, it's not the open super line in the living room, sweetie. That's always there. Hi, honey. And what have you been doing all day? Here. Did you just hand me the piece of stinky blue cheese? It stinks! Get rid of it. We can't. Just throw it out. We tried. Toss it out the window. We tried. We tried. Call emergency services? We... Wait, wait, what? What? Well, this is certainly an emergency. Emergency stinky magic pocket blue cheese. Hello, what's your emergency? There's a piece of stinky blue cheese in my kitchen. Ma'am, you're calling us because of stinky blue cheese? Magical stinky blue cheese. Say no more. Fire department is on its way. We got here as soon as we could. We heard there was magical stinky mozzarella cheese. Worse, it's blue. Let's get to work. Let's spray it with water. It's working. The cheese is moving. We knocked it off the table. All in a day's work for the fire department. Is the cheese gone? Should be. Let me just look around the table and... Oh no. We broke it. And it stinks worse than ever. Stinky your emergency stinky magic pocket blue cheese. Well, we tried. Good thing the police are here. Hello, we're the police. We got here as fast as we could. Where's the cheese? There. Hello, Mr. Cheese, sir. If you don't leave, we're going to have to escort you from the premises. Very well. I'm going to read you your cheese rights. You have the right to remain cheese. Any stinkiness can and will be held against you. Now to put on these handcuffs. Oh no. The cuffs just sliced it in half. And it stinks even more now. Even stinky your emergency stinky magic pocket blue cheese. We're sorry we couldn't help. Luckily, an ambulance just came by. Hello, we came over as fast as we could. Cheese, can you hear me? It isn't responding. Let's defibrillate it. Clear. Okay, taking the cheese's blood pressure. Zero. It has no blood. Now time to bandage it up. Perfect. Bandage, even stinkier emergency stinky magic pocket blue cheese. All in a day's work. But it still stinks. It just has some bandages on it. We said, all in a day's work. Good day. Well, I'm out of ideas. Might as well turn on the TV. What? It's not like the TV is suddenly going to solve our... Do you have a magical stinky cheese problem? Wait, Dad, turn that up. I just don't see how this relates to our situation, but okay. Is it magical stinky blue cheese? Okay, now I hear it. We're the cheese unstinkers, and we'll... Unstinky our cheese. Who you gonna call? Us. You should call us. Now. Mom, give me the phone please. Hello, cheese unstinkers, want stinky cheese? We've got a magical stinky blue cheese. We're here. Sorry, we took so long. We tried throwing it in the trash and throwing it out the window. And calling emergency services. Those were our three ideas. Well, you're not gonna like it, but there's only one way to get rid of cheese this stinky. What is it? You gotta... Eat the cheese. But it's so stinky. It's the only way. Okay, um... Good luck, son. Oh, wow, it's pretty... Tasty! It's pretty tasty, bandage deep and stinky, Your emergency stinky magic pocket blue cheese. Wow, you cheese unstinkers saved the day. How much do we owe ya? That'll be $10,000. Oh, okay, great. Yeah, let me just grab my wallet. Everybody run! Hey, get back here! The end! It happens every time. We'll be right back after a few words from the grown-up. Hey, guess what? Season 8 of the Story Pirates podcast is right around the corner, and we need your new stories, so right now is a great time to sit down and finally write that story that you've been thinking about, you know, that one. That one, the one that's so weird, so silly, and so bizarre that it just makes you kind of giggle to yourself when you think about it. Remember, stories can be as short or as long as you want, and though we can't put every story we get onto the show, we do respond to every single one. Grown-ups can submit stories at storypirates.com. We can't wait to read what you've been cooking up. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening and a big thanks to today's author, Eleanor. We'll be back next week with more brand new stories. Until then, stay creative and stay kind. Bye! The Story Pirates podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios, executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, and Lee Overtree. Recording sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Roll call theme by Andrew Barbada. Musical scoring by Jack Mitchell. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. The Stinky Cheese was adapted by Jonathan Appel and features performances by Greg Barnett, Matt Cox, Annamar, Peter McNerney, Alexandra Nader, Megan O'Neill, and Austin Sanders. The Story Pirates.
