OUR CRAZIEST RELATIONSHIP RULES! -You Should Know Podcast-

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No, I feel really good. You want to know why? Because what's today's date? January 5th. One day away from the anniversary of you storming the Capitol. Three days away from the birth of my wife. Really? Not going to deny the six, but I will proclaim the eight. Here we go. Let's go ahead and say that year. Go ahead and say that year. It's 2026. Wow. Welcome. We're here. Well, first episode of 2026. We are here, man. How are you feeling going into the new year? You know, just give me a minute. I just have a lot to say. I feel great. I'm very, I'm very thankful. Yeah. For the community and the ability to sit in this chair. And I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful for you too, man. Your busted shoes, same socks, and your dirty pants. Okay. Not much has changed. Your hat and neither one of us have a haircut. I mean, your nails are glossy. Yep. And I'm thankful for a lot of things. And I'm just, I'm happy to be here. It's 2026. You said so much of nothing just now. I did. Yeah. And that's how I feel. It's the same. Cam. Cam, I can't, in real life, we've taken a week off of recording. Yes, sir. Anytime we take a week off recording, we come back. There's always these wild episodes. Oh man. Because we have so much to talk about. Oh man. I got a lot. I got a lot to talk about from my break. Because I haven't talked to you in like a week really. I know. Kind of made my heart sad. Made my heart sad. My butt a little flat. Well, honestly, I don't know if anybody else has experienced this or people watching and listening at home. I had the worst flu ever created. Oh, oh, oh. Now I had the second hand experience because my wife, my wife had it. I got the immune system of a literal Mongolian horse lord. Right. So I don't get sick. But I watched it firsthand and it was bad. It was bad. Now what's a Mongolian horse lord? You don't want me to go too deep. Just say if you hear that scream, that screech, you see those flaming arrows coming to your little villa? Yeah. Yeah, you're done. I want you to replicate the screams of a Mongolian horse. It'd be that right there. You hear, you hear 600 of those and then you look up and you just hear and it's flames and you literally just go, oh, where's the goat? Where's the kids? Oh, and it's just, oh, no. And then you're done. And then they keep going. That's menacing, bro. That is menacing. Are you the Mongolian horse lord? I am the Mongolian horse lord. I want everybody to call you that. I work for Genghis. I want everybody to call you that. Like when we go to Meengrits tour. Mongolian horse lord camp. Mongolian horse lord. That's how you got to do it. Sun Tzu, Art of War. And okay, you know what you are? I figured you out. You're like a big kid. If you gave him a bunch of money and a platform. I am. That's so mean. That's so mean. Oh my God. Actually, I downloaded a PS2 emulator over the break. How was that? That's pretty fun. I've done that before too. CJ did it for me. It was pretty fun. And I'm not going to lie. When you go back and play them, you really think you're going to get this crazy hit of a soldier. Then the games look like. Yeah. Man. Yeah. Oh, it was the best we could offer at the time, but I mean, it's hard to play this knowing I can jump on our craters. Yeah. It's fun though. It's still fun. Because I played SmackDown vs. Raw. So did I. Why was I so bad? I was like, this is the only game I could still play as Crispin Wall. And so I was like. Now Peyton. No, I'm going to. I'm going to. No, no, no, no, no, no. He was a fantastic wrestler. No, no, no. Now listen. Now this is hilarious because I've played two matches on SmackDown vs. Raw 2007. I was Crispin Wall both times. I mean, I was Crispin Wall both times. I was like, didn't it? And then it did. And then it did. And then it did. And then it did. Oh, man. I say horrible person. I mean, did awful things. Yeah. One of the best in ring. Are you? No. No. I was trying to the empathy was trying to pull out and word vomit as well. I'm saying like went through a lot, which probably induced his terrible stuff, but it's still terrible nonetheless. Right. What I'm saying. Sure. Yeah. I mean, I'm talking about Wicked. Yeah. We don't know. Oh, no, we know. We didn't. Really? I mean, I think his brain looked like a mud pie at the end. Like it was. But no, seriously, I think it was really bad. We're getting there. We are. We're getting close. We're getting close. So we're getting there. I'm so sorry for the Mongolian sidetracked. Tell me about your flu. Tell me about your flu. Honestly. Okay. In the real quick. So ask me a question and then proceed to answer yourself. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Bro the amount I don't know did it pop up on your for you yes so many people like bro I went and got tested all these came back negative, and I'm dying yeah, and like so it went around as a way Yeah, it's I think it's called the android of ours or something like that. I don't know nina's Andre the Titan under Garfield The Mongolian horsework The horse The Mongolian horsework Go ahead one more time three two one the Mongolian horse lord yes virus Okay, so basically well I didn't get that so basically we were around somebody that had the bow The big B's they had mr. 19 mr. 19 mr. 19 and them shook hands. I was around mr. 19 I got sick a couple days later, and I was like oh mr. 19 came and knocked on my door like that And I said go in welcome. Yeah, my music mr. 19. So thanks. This is my music suffice Here's the Mongolian horse. I'm the Mongolian horse. You're just like this get back. Oh take Mine goes Oh Yeah, so I'm in bed right I'm I'm hurting it feels like mr. 19 feel like he's tickling your back And this is like three day or four days before Christmas no no I'm not gonna like six days It was six days before Christmas, and I was like no way I got mr. 19 six days before Christmas I'm supposed to go home. I go take a test for mr. 19 They say no mr. 19 is in your system, and I go there you go Mongolian horse prince You're not the Lord you're a young buck you're on a little donkey you're like this You're like that that pace you're like But then as soon as you go to an adversary you're like you just drop me I'm like in the little shotgun seat on like the motorcycles. I'm like those really doing nothing, but you're there in spirit It's like the little element Yeah, so okay, so I'm like okay. I don't have mr. 19. It's great But I still feel bad. I don't know what it is. I'm coughing. I'm sneezing Everything's bad my head's hurting pound and I'm sweating shaking. Oh, and when you're sick you I mean you're And small dude, oh sorry Voldemort's family is listening. Yeah, she She was like yeah you go get in the shower, and I said okay, and she goes wow She goes my god. Is this a physical virus? It's right there. You're sick right there, aren't you? I don't let my wife watch me bathe from sick dude. It's so demoralizing these smallest I can possibly be dude I'm talking. I'm about half an inch away from being inverted. You like it is that small. Yeah, I've like a large yeah What's going on? And do you know and it's like it's bad and it's not just like it shrinks the width No, it literally goes to where I can like touch the muscle like there's no extra like liquids fluids blood skin That And even small and even if you do my pleasure spot like the things are or are Garant because I'm there's things you can do to me guaranteed get me going here's nipples You go ears nipples and braid that tough. Oh my god. You'll be bricked by noon. Oh dude. It's so easy for I'm easy lick I'm not and even when you do that to me, and I'm sick nothing like he is he does not work Oh, it's terrible. That's sick pain is a real thing. Yes, and so that's all I knew I was sick Right, that's how I knew you look like I Don't I don't feel the best. Oh God, you know you're not the flu You just look at you go. Oh, no something wrong for sure. Yeah, and so I So I'm I'm like I don't know what it is I go take a flu test at home immediately flu a so I got diagnosed I'm fluenza a yeah I didn't get what your wife got peace up a time Oh Can't win a winza can't win can't win the wins a can't win Can't win and he was doing in the bedroom in a small little He just wanted to chill But his penis was real small and that was the indicator that he had influenza the food So he needed a meal So he said give me some McDonald's make it didn't fill them up cuz his pain was so so tiny Really tiny? That's just It looked just like you yeah, it looked just like yours what yeah, I saw my scene right Is it haven't seen my no, but is it pink? No, and that's that's got that's got braces. Yeah, it is I Pretty sure every black person thinks white people meet is pink. No and why is that why is that? That's so stupid. I think it's around like the look think it's pink I think it's like around the Labrador's we've been around no Yeah, that's a dog and I'm not like a labrador. Yeah, that's like a Minnesota guy like long hair and sweats even when it snows outside That's a Labrador for men. Okay, and this is a lab This is a dangerous territory to go down right now, but there's definitely dog breeds that match Oh, come on Labrador is definitely I got sick and that kind of parlays into the story I have because I literally had the craziest road trip on Christmas Eve. Oh my god. Oh my god You did yes, you went back. Yeah, right on the cusp of the sickness So this is what happened I was sick because there's like this wild flu going around crazy that no one knows about and I was sick for like five days You were he was down bad all the way to Christmas Eve and now I always go visit my family in Austin I live in Dallas. Obviously, it's a four-hour trip Because I have a Cybertruck. Yes, and so I since I have a Cybertruck charging it sucks for road trips Right, so it takes a two-hour road trip to a four-hour road trip. Yes, that's unfortunate But it is it's very fortunate that the company let you use the Cybertruck yes, the company is a cup. Oh Yeah, yeah, it's very fortunate because your other your personal car the test amount of why yes You don't want to take that either. Yeah, the Cybertruck you had all the gifts in the back So the company was like, yeah, of course, bro take it and I had a couple meetings Yeah, we'll know now with her well with someone. Yeah, you had meetings in the company vehicle Company meetings in Austin for the company vehicle I can't wait to see that all the tiktok comments. Oh, yeah, so I Was so sad because I've never spent Christmas Eve away from my family, right and my mommy and my daddy They were sad calling me. Do you feel better? Do you feel better? And I was like, no, I still test positive for the flu So I was like, you know what? It is Christmas Eve night. It's like 7 p.m. I'm gonna take one more flu test and I'm feeling a little better and see if it comes back positive or negative I take the flu test it comes back negative. Hey, I'm like, oh my god. I'm going home for Christmas. Right? again It's a four-hour trip The pack still I don't leave my house until 8 p.m. It is pitch black Outside and it's Christmas Eve. Not a lot of people are on the roads I sit and charge my Cybertruck for another hour now. It's 9 o'clock. I'm not gonna get home till midnight, right? So yes, sir. I start taking off right now if you know The roads from Dallas, Texas to Austin, Texas is strictly Bible Belt back roads No street lights. You can't know buildings on the side You might see some little glowy coyote eyes out in the distance. It's about it boy None but coyotes and buzzards and a lot of racism lie on 35 35 is flooded with racism, right? And so now I don't realize how scared of the dark I am as a 26 year old man, right? So it is Christmas Eve. I'm a little depressed because I'm not at home I'm alone in a Cybertruck in pitch black darkness, right? I'm sitting like this and I'm in one of those depressive moods where I have nothing on the radio I'm driving. Oh, you're hearing the racism come by So you're just driving by the car like Racism and it's just no exactly. That's what it sounded like. I'm glad you didn't say anything else. Yeah, no sir Oh, I know you heard some things though. Yeah, 100% but I was driving right complete silence And now my anxiety is bad because I'm depressed and I'm scared and that's a breath of people disaster Scott through sickness. It's fair to say you're still sick. It's a that's a recipe for disaster. So I'm starting to hear Rattling under my truck. Oh, I'm like, what is what is going on? This is a brand new truck, right? And I'm not sure what noises are supposed to be. Yeah, it wasn't this Regular and so I'm rolling the window down. I'm listening. I'm looking around on driving And so I'm driving about an hour and a half into my drive, right? And now I'm literally in the middle of nowhere There's nothing but acres and acres and acres and acres if I if something were to happen to me on this street I'm dead, right out of there as I'm baloney sandwich as I'm driving I swear to God as I'm driving on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere I see a car parked right and I'm like, oh that sucks. I mean, why is that car parked over there? The lights were on the brake lights wrong and somebody is outside the car going like this. Oh No, no, no, no, no, no In my heart I'm like, it's Christmas Eve. Oh, no, it's Christmas Eve. I'm depressed I know you must be depressed So I decide you I decide I'm gonna go check on these people Right, so you're kidding me I start to slow down. I'm going 90 to about 20 quickly. I start to pull over, right? It's a woman as I'm pulling over. Oh, right. I'm starting to get to her. I'm so and she knows I'm coming She puts down the flashlight. She knows I'm coming for As I'm doing that and I'm getting right beside her the car lights turn off There's somebody else in this car. Oh my god. You didn't I literally went Flu Basta that I'm not kidding. Oh, no, sir Yes, sir Not my Christmas Eve Not my Christmas Eve No, no, no funny business. That was funny business going on. Oh my god. I'm so proud. I was like clearly I mean you're alive, but like you might have been Then I get 20 miles down the road. I'm away from and karma is a You know in office offices, you know the big blue water jugs when you push down and you put the water cup You know those big blue water barrels, right? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes One of those empty is flying across the highway I started I'm like where the f*** did this thing come from? It must have fell off somebody's truck or something I'm gonna get the car out here. Yeah, it must have fell off somebody's truck or something I'm not good of it. I'm not good at evasive maneuvers yet in my new truck. So I just eat that Boom and it gets stuck under my truck It sounds horrible and it won't stop Now this is a brand new truck So I don't want to keep going So I pull over to the side of the road in the middle of nowhere Right. It is cold. It is Christmas Eve in the middle of nowhere I look under there Sure enough this little blue canister is under there I rip it out. I throw it and there's a light above me. I'm like, why the f*** is there a light above you? Oh, it's your time. God sent Perotin. I'm like, why is there a light above me? I look up All I see is a billboard of Donald J Trump Going like this With angel wings going out outside of them and it says thank god for trump and he's looking like this You're absolutely right. I swear to god. It's one of those bible belt Because there was a Kirk one like two miles the other way I'm telling you you haven't seen these those donald trump ones. Some of them were bleeding with his fists in the air and my whole thing was like Who the f*** paid for that? Regardless of your political affiliation. What's the purpose of spending money on that? You looked up you said well, hell, thanks, don. Yeah, and then I made it and I made it. I made it home At like 12 30. I didn't have a key to my house My parents are like 70 years old. They didn't hear me knocking. I had to get a hotel on christmas eve Oh, okay. I have I okay. Okay. Now I have multiple things one My parents would have had to buy a new door before I got a hotel on christmas eve. I would have went Hello If they never went Kick that out. We'll duct tape it. Yeah finish it in the morning second, yeah We're not you're not like you're not just breezing over this. Yeah, there was a massive billboard of donald trump with angel Wean, he's looking at me. Thank god for trump and I was like what who's I was and there was no like There is no like qr code. There was no website. Don't you love that just just a You billboard like a billboard. There's no call to action. There's no next steps. It's just something there that someone spent money on Yeah, I mean the billboards aren't cheap. That's what I'm saying. What do you advertise? Thank god for Trump. He's just like this. Oh, he's hitting the orton. He's like Oh, they should do that. Yeah I am for this. Oh, okay, but the worst part and the part that irks me the most. Yeah Is there's it's actually a double way at me, right? One the fact that you yeah of all people Literally the most skeptical person. I know right This christmas eve just overcame your body. You said, oh, I'm gonna help these people right terrible decision No, your mom would be extremely upset at you 100% I am upset at you and you would never tell any of us to do that if you were in that No, no, and it's completely against everything. I believe it like a hundred percent Why I don't know it was christmas eve and I felt because of joyous spirit a saint Naco ever took your body. Yeah, because I felt alone like I was like I don't like this feeling of being alone on christmas eve is my first time ever and and and and pull up the light goes off You just you're you go. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I don't know what happened to their christmas eve Nor do I care to be honest It's the second part. Yeah, how are you the only car? On a two if I you're at the part I think on a two-lane highway. Yeah, and you can't there's three at this time I think that's even worse. There's three open lanes. Yeah, and you can't evade a water jug I don't know how to really move in that new truck yet. Just slow down a bit left to right Use that yoke and just get on but I was also taught like, you know if the deer standing there you don't Deer that's that's Bambi this is one this is an inanimate object a big water joke Yeah, but they said don't swear because it's more dangerous. You just got to take it head on Oh my god, that's if it's a deer. Yes. You slow down. You move a little bit I'm not gonna. I'm not saying that I was doing the right thing. I'm just telling you Oh, no Honestly, I I imagine it being that simple like it's literally coming straight towards you like some donkey Yeah, you're just like god not me like I'm always bad at like guessing Like dude, I remember doing like flag football as a kid and they would do the punt dude punt returning was hard for me I could never guess where that was gonna land. I'm really bad at that I'm really bad at guessing where objects are going, you know, oh my god You just like spawned a thought in my own memory Yeah, I was in the punt pack a punt passing kick competition in the fourth grade and I was because I was in the elite arm talent And I had a beautiful punt right couldn't get the tee, right? So every other kid in the competition could kick from the tee So naturally they had a higher score than me right and finally the teacher on because we did him on like fridays Like at recess and like the winners throughout the school year got to go to like the actual area. Whatever you never did I'm never one But on the they said for my tee kick I can choose to either pass or punt again, but it gets deducted by a third Hmm So what did I do? I took that football and I ran back like it was like I was about to be a pitcher for a cricket team Yeah, and I literally went Huh Because it was a little like Yeah, I swear I was probably throwing them like 70 yards But in reality it was probably like 30 or 40, but it felt Bro, it felt crazy far like it felt like I could have cleared the building. Yeah I'm on my Robbie I could have cleared the building I could have thrown it straight over 100% Right, that's it. Come on lights out. You've got a test tomorrow. Just two minutes. I'm about to reach the next level It's going off now. Yeah, whatever. Let's see. Where's the app? Oh, here it is What how? 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Ship station does in one go to shipstation.com and use code start to try ship station free for 60 days That But how was your how was your vacation that was my vacation? It was I was sick. It was awful Dude, I'll talk about this on the extended on patreon or the bonus episode on patreon that comes out Wednesday Uh, I got the worst gifts ever I'm just kidding. They weren't the worst All my gifts all my gifts were about Voldemort. Huh? All my gifts were about Voldemort. I hate that I was like, I hope she I Honestly when I got these gifts I was like, I hope she leaves me the proof of point. No. No, okay Wicked story for you. I have a wicked story as well Buckling create you think I'm making this up. I actually have a Photographic proof of it. Okay, what happened crazy that you saw donald trump on your road trip because I did too really we were headed up to oklahoma literally past a trailer that on the back has two like Uh people that are in need or like older people motorized scooters. They're both branded Trump they are they are they are they are put this on the screen put that on the screen cj. They're trump motorized scooter And no these are these are wheelchairs wheelchairs. No, it's not a wheelchair. That's motorized. It's a motorized wheelchair. Oh same thing. No Scooter wheelchair motorized wheelchair. Nope scooters are like razor Okay, well, no you're thinking that scooter. No scooters or you stand So what do you call it one that you sit on a wheelchair? No, yes No, sir. Cam. Yes, it is sadly mistaken. No, sir a wheelchair is a chair with wheels that you propel Dolo, what's it? Okay, exactly. So a wheelchair is a chair. So something you sit on with wheels That's what that was. Yes Yeah, not dolo It's motorized motorized wheelchair motorized scooter. No, no, you can't just change the whole anatomy of something But this a scooter you stand on there's no scoot. You can't stand scoot stands You can sit on scooters. You can't yes, you name one So bird scooters that you go like our in lime scooters that are downtown you sit on them That form of scooter. I can't think of another scooter bro. The ones that you sit on like this Like imagine the little shopping cart ones that aren't shopping for wheelchairs Those are not wheelchairs. They're chairs with wheels on them. No, no, no, you're crazy They're starting to give me a chair and I Motorized scooter Cam a motorized scooter is a bird in a line. Those are motorized scooters So motorized scooters didn't come out till lime was invented. No, I'm saying that brand I'm to give you a point of reference Those if a wheelchair is something you sit and you wheel no one in the right mind goes Oh, like let me get that motorized wheelchair. Yeah, you do It's a wheelchair with a motor in it. That's what it is. There's also scooters. Look. Yes. That's they can't see that They can't see that but that's your they can't see that that's the motorized wheelchair But there you can call them a motorized scooter Matter of fact, you can call anything anything you can hold on. I'm not trying to Super quick motorized Scooter and I will I will rest my case. I'm I'm highly wrong. Thank you Oh No, I'm not when you hit him. It just no I'm not Oh, yeah compact travel scooter. There's a seat and there's wheels That's wrong. No, it's not. It's just a group of wrong matter fact Matter fact once you click past the shopping links way to go marketing team boom Motorized scooters and it is straight what I said Literally and to prove the google search motorized scooter. Hey, it's me miss anubis again How are you doing? Oh wait? I was doing the wrong thing Hey, it's me miss anubis again. How are you doing? Hey there miss anubis. I'm doing great. Don't get going. I'm with you. What's on your mind today? Hey, is there a difference between a motorized scooter and a motorized wheelchair? Yeah, definitely. There's a bit of a difference in how they're designed and what they're used for So a motorized wheelchair is generally meant for people who need mobility assistance due to a disability or a medical Condition so it's built with a focus on comfort support and things like that for daily use Whereas a motorized scooter is more like a convenience or recreational vehicle It's often used by people who can walk but maybe can't walk long distances So i'm right we're approaching the villa So by that the conclusion is i'm right because they didn't say anything about the deal They said the difference was for comfort and for need so it sounds like the mongolians are in pain anymore, right? I Okay, you know what it doesn't matter it doesn't but it doesn't mean I just use so much water to do that I'm gonna get canceled Is that a real thing? Yeah, I think so and I feel bad. I feel yeah, I feel really bad I didn't know about that till billy eilish posted it you use the I didn't know that but they can't blame me for ignorant I don't blame me for ignorant bliss bliss is beauty. Bliss is beauty. That was nice. That was kind of sexy Bliss bliss beauty back to the trip. So there was some trump branded uh motorized scooters. Anyway, here's like give me three He goes give me three one more on back order just because we get to oklahoma. Okay So I've said this before live has a split family. So every time we go, it's like three of the same holiday. Yeah So the very last one sounds like selfish No, I mean, it's fun. It's it's it's good. But on the last one we get to her grandma's house Now hey me me. Hey me me fantastic fun. The games are fun. She goes give me one of them Scooters Give me one of them scooters I was about to say something. Anyway, here we go So every year at her Mimi's because that is the largest gathering. Yeah, there's typically like 20 20 plus people. So Instead of oh, let's all get gifts for each other crazy. Everybody's pockets of bleeding We play one big thing of dirty santa secret santa Secret santa is when you know who you're buying for but they don't know who's buying them a gift you get them stuff for them Boom. It's like $30 women 30 santa's you bring some to the pot right this year. They changed it Lolli of all people goes who's lolly? Lolli is lives mom. We call it lolly. That's her grandma name lolly So lives mom. Oh my gosh guys. It's gonna be so fun. I found this thing called firebox I met a couple girls I didn't know they knew lolly. Yeah, they knew lolly. How's firebox doing? Oh Oh Yeah, I didn't know they lived in oakland. They moved Oh, they're they're international Sorry, so no that was funny Firebox, it's uh, it's a third-party seller of amazon boxes. Yeah, that sounds even crazy. It's a third-party seller for firebox Yeah, so they take so amazon has I guess I don't know the logistics, but when stuff gets returned They put them in these big boxes. Whatever in this site buys it and then sells it So that was what we were doing for our dirty santa. It was a $500 amazon box Okay, so said to have value of upwards of $500, but it's a mystery of what's in it. Complete mystery now I'm guaranteed nothing and you paid how much $500 for a what value $500 or more box. So it says So she gets the box. It comes in crazy and no one knows. Yeah So It's time the games go. It's time for dirty santa Peyton When I tell you these gifts were It was a bismol like we were crying laughing. There was a lace dress Oh, wow, there was a radar detector in Japanese font That on the back of the package said it's using a new global satellite system To where it can detect any radar within a two mile radius on the earth on the planet And it was this it was in this big little box. There was a there was a jar of vegetable Uh vegetable broth Oh, there was a double pack of b12 vitamins. Oh, there was a knife there was a Uh, there was a cookbook a cookbook about beers Excuse me. There was the twilight saga in novel form. That was probably the best gift. There was a no, I wish there was a Gen one iPad that's sick gen one iPad. Yeah, I like that. No box. No papers just that in the core Oh my god, you got a naked ipad naked ipad. No, I'm talking to the limit was in bubble wrap Did it come with a charger the charger was yellow like piss yellow like like someone used that for 10 years and they gave it back Yeah It's terrible. You got a donation box now This gift right here what I'm about to say. Oh, no is the pinnacle of this event Okay Someone goes up their numbers call they go and grab a box. They open this box Bag rather they open the bag the first thing they pull out again. There's nothing nothing's in packages They pull out a 3xl phone Oh, wow. No, no, no panties. Oh, wow 3xl they pull out a big old parapet. Oh my god I'm talking a big parapet. Oh my god. I need to find the maybe four need to find the seller maybe four He sits there. He holds them up Folds them back next item He pulls out a wife beater a tank top tank tank top. Okay That is sized medium Okay It's crazy dimension How you four X in your draw is in a medium up top. I mean, what's your build? What's your build built like built like a snowman like squidward when he got in that one then we saw thick at the bottom Yeah, yeah Last item pulls out some beach shorts, right? Exams them. Um Whatever trash gift so to be a good grandma Lollie then steals that from the person that took it so they can get another gift and have fun So Lolly and Liv are over there examining it and she's having fun with it It was her idea. She has to make light of it. She picks up the shorts again And she goes sis talking to live sis. I don't know about you. These are actually kind of cute Liv spits her drink literally spits her drink lives in front of Lollie. She's holding the shorts like this. No, no Liv spits her drink Bursts out laughing She goes mom mom put those down Put those down there's something in the crotch region. Oh No, no way Payton. No, no, there's a trail The trail there was a wound spot There it was. Oh, no And the beach shorts by the way the beach shorts angel white angel white angel white And in the crotch region was either and I'm sorry, but it was either And it was It was the funniest And I'm I'm not kidding right hand to god 100 truth It was the funniest ever. Olivia fell on the ground. She's pregnant mind you. She's falling on the ground I said get off. I said my son's in there. Stop doing that. She's laughing. Yeah, uncle Danny gets pissed He grabs and throws him away. Yeah, that's gross. No packages. No, it's gross someone So to fool round about yeah someone bled in those yeah and said amazon. They were the wrong size There you go. Yeah, somebody committed a crime and gave all you gave all the evidence to you that is unbelended and then And then someone buys that box. Yeah and flips it for a profit Firebox.com that is crazy. Wait. So how do I go and buy this? I literally think it's called firebox. I want to go buy a firebox bro. We can make a firebox Make a video out and then we can make a video on patreon. There's no promises of what's in it. You've no clue I kind of like there's different value of boxes. There's a hundred dollar box There's so she said instead of doing a dirty Santa. Let's all just put 20 bucks into this get the 500 dollar box Let's get a firebox. Let's get a firebox. Let's make a patreon episode of it. So it's it is That is disgusting man. Oh another thing. There was a door alarm with the remote. It was all sorts of crazy random It was hilarious 500 orders a month was manageable 5,000 is madness Embrace intelligent order fulfillment with ship station The only platform combining order management warehouse workflows inventory returns and analytics in one place What used to take five separate tools? Ship station does him one go to ship station dot com and use code start to try ship station free for 60 days All right, so another thing we were talking over this weekend with family and she had all her family You know the youngs the olds everyone in between right and at one point we dibbled and dabbled into talking about wills Not not not people named williams, but like your will. You're definitely. Yeah, that's sad Why don't talk about that? Well, it was more of like we were talking about just everything like finances No, oh don't make sure to put that and we're leaving stuff like that. Okay, so it had me think And I don't know why I think of you in these intimate moments and stuff, but I said I said I wonder what like What p if he had to write a will right now What would he add in like what would be in his will? Who would it go to? And that had me thinking so then I was sitting on that and I was like, ah, he probably wouldn't give me Uh, he'd probably give it to the Preston which is good. That's good everything and then I thought What's the craziest that people have left in a will like what's the just at most outlandish stuff Can't can you leave anything on a will to other people? When I read these to you. Oh my oh my god. So I literally looked up. What are some of the wildest things that people have left in their will Yeah, I like this Oh Someone left money to their ex Only claimable if they legally changed their last name back So it they'd got a divorce they left money in a will you can only get this money? Yeah, if you legally change your name back Hell yeah, that is crazy. Yes. No wait. That's not that's not that's crazy. That's crazy. That's in your bag. No, that's great You're dead. Hey, you're dead But I've been a proponent to say if I'm married and I die while we're married. Don't move on. Okay. I don't want you to move on You're not happy again. You're I'm sorry You made a vow sickness health and death. I'm with you. Oh my god sickness health and death So another one a woman left her kids millions in a trust to be paid out to all of them evenly millions of dollars They have to randomly pass drug tests for the rest of their life. Yeah Hell yeah, they do if my mom croaks early you best believe I'm hitting a spliff And then now I don't get my money. How am I gonna get through my sorrows? I'm going to my back porch I'm lighting up and blowing down. I don't know the millions of dollars. She left you could get you passed Oh, I mean, yeah, but I mean my god. I mean I get nothing you get the money Yeah, but no no recreational just drink. Oh my god or hey you have millions of dollars. Have somebody else speak for you Yeah, I go hey pistol that bottle ibuprofen here we go. Hey, I made money in juco doing that for people That is true. Another one $12,000 was left from an old man To their neighbor when he passed. Yeah for being the world's most annoying neighbor And this was a payoff so they would never speak again So a man doesn't make sense because you're never gonna speak again because you're dead No, no, he left his money dead man left money to neighbor as a f*** you because you spoke so much And you were so annoying this is a payoff to no no more speaking for you Even though I'm dead don't like that one that guy's dumb Angel 1000 didn't save too well did you? I'm not gonna. That's so dumb. That's the dumbest one ever. I don't like that. That is bad. Here we go. Okay A man left his brother One dollar and a hand written note that said don't spend it all in one place Oh I'm not gonna make me that would make me have ill will toward my dead brother. I'm not gonna throw that out there My brother left me a bone one bone. Yeah, so don't spend it all one place. Yeah, I I probably like Physically grab a dollar bill rip it and throw it in his open casket and be like see you Yeah, I'm turning into edgine. You're becoming a floor mat when people walk into my house step on my brother Like what is that? Oh, it's my brother's back Okay, so now imagine my tough as a oh Oh, no, you're tough as like a a sick little foot. Yeah, you go You can use it to clean horse hooves. You know those hard bristles Oh my god, okay a man left his wife money Only if she never remarried and hired someone to verify it that was in his will. Oh wait say it again I like this so the man left his left his money. Yeah to his wife right Only if she never got remarried and then in the will someone got hired To verify that that she does not get remarried. Oh So it's like a money hit man. Like you know like hey if you give you get married get married Dang ways to just see okay. I'm taking it a step further I don't even want you hooking up with somebody not even married. You're not even letting them get rocks off if you're gone No, no gone with all the money gone With all the money in the world you can be a franchisee of adam and eve like you can I like you don't need No, I'm sorry. I'm insecure You're dead My ghost your securities are the most insincere they're not existed You're dead. No because my ghost is in the corner of the room like this. You're just like she doesn't even like it like that You're like The guy just hit me he's like My ghost is like she doesn't even like being on the side Get off her but she oh Oh my god. Oh my god your astral your astral body your ghost is right there Your girl is Your girl's having Your ghost body goes she don't even like it like that. She goes. Oh my god. This is the best ever. I'd go. Oh my god Stop, this ain't funny dog. No, don't touch me. Don't touch me No, you Oh my god, no, no, put your hands in the air put your hands in the air right now and stand up put your hands in the air and stand up Don't you touch anything? No Stop stop stop. No, stop stop stop stop put your hands in the air Put your hands in do not touch anything stop. Don't do that. Don't touch anything You're gonna y'all the world is gonna see what is under the spin Why'd you bring it to work? Give it up. It's fine. It's life Trick some more water Man. Yes. Okay. All right Oh Now I explain it I can fire both of you as you make fun. I have to cause no now look now look. All right. No Oh my god pee I have five and right off the back of talking about insecurities. Just drink some water. Do I I mean get an extra wash or something I have five and one concealer in my pocket now I wear makeup Cuts out the bag. All right cats out the bag. All right Sometimes I need a touch up my job is a no no no no and it's not wrong That's not the no It's and you know and the worst part is I went alone to buy this and I had to go through the aisles Marking my arm to oh no test shades You were swatching Concealers by yourself. Yeah in a in wear an altar. Yeah, I have a membership Okay, you have a membership to I have a membership swatch concealers on your Yes skin by yourself at a six seven because half the comments have recently have been oh get that pimple patch off your head I think you're making a political statement I'm not gonna lie. I might aren't my own blood made a comment about that. Yeah Gabe Johnson said if if Peyton wears that one more Episode i'm shooting a double leg at him. He said i'm taking his the ground. I'm taking off myself No, okay, so I've had this pimple patch and it became okay This is the thing I had a pimple and I kept trying to cover it up And when it was healing so I'd like pop it and then cover it up with a pimple patch because I had to be on camera And then so it was just going back into itself. So we came It was like finally get the breathe More bacteria. Oh, we're out again. No, let's leave. Yes. Yes. So I went to the dermatologist They put a syringe in there and so I was covering it up right and I was good because I'm insecure I'm insecure. So I bought makeup and I've been wearing makeup since high school I've been wearing makeup since high school because I always had an acne problem. I took acutane twice You know how bad your skin's got to be to fail. I can take twice You suck But that it's because you used to drink Half a gallon of diet coke a day. Yeah Oh, well, so I wear concealer sometimes Concealer up and I've gotten good at blending recent. I've gotten real good at blending I didn't put it on the day I forgot because I got here late to the shoot. So that's why my hat's been like like this Yeah, I wear makeup cats out the bag. Sorry Every famous um anchor news anchor wears makeup. They get touched up by a crew They have glam crews that make a livable salary. I'm my own damn crew. You have a six dollar concealer in your pocket Way more than that. Don't play with me. This is five and one. Don't play with me I hate you. This is does Voldy know about this. She touches me up Dude, I'm not gonna lie. My my girl my makeup. Okay. So I have a whole like makeup bag. I'm not okay Having a panic attack. I have like that true My spy won last time you have you have a You go, no, it is my bag. I promise you have yeah a makeup bag. Yes, but it's not full yet Toiletry bag not a not a grown-up and toilet your bag There's a mouthwash a little shooter of whiskey maybe a condom and a toothbrush. No, you have a makeup bag. Yes Okay, but the thing let's be honest here The thing is the thing is I've been wearing makeup since high school And it's hard for me because like it's hard for me to go into makeup stores and buy things for myself because it's my pride Right, and I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed about it. I'm embarrassed about it because I know my homies aren't really my homies Right, I love you. No, look at you. Teach me how to touch. Robbie hasn't even made eye contact Teach me how to touch up and I'll help you out. No, okay, but this is the thing and so Whenever I first got into my relationship She came to the bathroom and she saw this makeup bag and she was like and she's a cool girl So she was like, hey, she's like let's stay over here. No, she doesn't do that. She's not crazy She said she said hey If we're gonna be taking things more seriously, I would appreciate it if you throw your ex's stuff away and I go Oh, baby, that's mine. I said she can wear those colors Didn't know glam as you try I'm sorry I'm sorry, man. Yeah, no, but I and there's nothing wrong. I'll blend y'all up nice No, you won't have to tour. I was beat Are you crazy I had a real bad like breakout on the east coast leg of the tour I was in the green room with powder. Oh my god. You weren't 21 jump streaming. You were but you were touching up your blending Yeah, that's why I made sure on the rider that they had like the vanities with the bulbs. I was in them I just thought you liked your selfies Yeah, no, why do you think I had like makeup that Jeffrey star was on in my algorithms for like six months. That's crazy I mean that is god bless you and the vecta truth serum It helped it got to a point where I was going into like mac I saw like the shane dawson conspiracy palette and I some colors is bad I like them I'm starting to know blends and and concealers and stuff. Yeah, that's fine. And that's honestly a great hobby I think you should now that it's out the bag You should just live with it because it's always in my duffel bag and I put it in my pot in your pocket I put it in my pocket. I was supposed to do it before you know, have y'all noticed me ever wearing makeup before I've noticed the pimple I'm sorry. I mean that's something that's winking at me. That is huge That I mean that no p. Oh I mean that's got a tooth. I mean I see the I see the form. Oh my god Okay, ladies. Was that was that proper form? I mean so much so much saggy draw Take it out Oh no Oh man No, not that much cheek that stays censored. What? Hey, I love you and I'm proud of it. Yeah, I'm proud of you That kind of reminded me because I was wearing makeup when we went to dinner with amp and rdc I was wearing makeup then too I said since high school, I know but like it was like continuous thing It was any time I'm down like a freak. Yeah, whenever my skin was clear. I don't wear it. Oh, okay. No You said when my skin was clear, I don't wear it Or running up that hill That's so god that song so good. Stranger Things made that amazing. So good. Um, so look Do you remember when we went to dinner with amp and rdc world? Yes, and it was like the most terrifying experience ever It was a very it was a very daunting task. It was a very daunting dinner If you don't know who amp is basically it's kison at duke denis agent zero davis Chris all them that group, right And then rdc world mark phillips ben lealan dillon. That's dez We were in los angeles and we for some reason like two three years ago We got invited to a dinner with them. Yeah, you remember that? Yeah, it was super fun. It was super fun Until the end. Yeah, then it was it was a bullet to sweat. Oh suddenly gotta go poopy. Sorry Yeah, I don't know if I've told this story before but if I have it's been years. So I'm gonna tell it again man And and probably this one's gonna be more honest than the times before because we've built a relationship with now with them now And we're cooler dog. So we're sitting at a dinner table With amp and rdc world, right? And this is a steakhouse. I'm not gonna say which one like this This isn't like we went to like water burger like this is this is a steak Steak dinner. It's a nice steak house in los angeles, right? And I and first of all Me and cam aren't at the point of our careers where we belong at this dinner table No, no, we're we're here because we're friends with mark and he invited us. He's a great bringer honor. Yes, sir Right. So i'm sitting i'm seeing amp. I'm seeing phantom. I'm looking at i'm looking at mark phillips I'm looking at everybody. There's some streamers. There's some different streamers There's a lot of people at this a lot of people deep table to fun dinner. It's like 14 people very fun dinner 14 people at this dinner now Me and cam Our finances were fully spent on getting to this trip, right? Let's say they were supposed to be 12 at that dinner. Yes me and him were the two that weren't supposed to be there We made it 14, right? So we're eating honest to god I want to say I had to pull up a chair like i'm not kidding. I remember right? I think I literally had to pull up a chair We were like we were like there was physically a table for 12 and we were like yeah me and cam were like this because we weren't supposed to be there And then amp is so nice. They you could tell they didn't know who you're like really big at the end of the table But it was great. But yeah, so we're Everybody's ordering they're going around ordering now. I was not used to this lifestyle Where people were saying oh, I want to try that let's order family portions of this Yeah, I want three different entrees to to dibble dabble in here to try and it's all I said. Oh, oh everybody here is Rich yeah, and we're not nowhere near Right. No, I'm at the point of broke at this time I had a bank account that was still a child's bank account Like you know whenever your parents are trying to teach you banking and stuff Financial literacy and they open up a bank account as a It did no it did I still got lollipops when I went tried to make deposits And I was making content for a living at this point. You were getting our planes going to Los Angeles Oh my god, I was you have a smiley face under debit card Right. I had to if I called and I was like, hey, I need to like I need more money What's the password sweetie? You know, I was like fishticks seven Right. I was I was like that. It was really embarrassing. Anyway, so just to say I didn't have any money Going around this table and p these rich streamers are ordering everything like the most expensive Food they're not even looking at prices me and camera like we can split this steak, right? We're like, I go let's get one steak eight ounces. Let's split it but to make it look like we're really eating and do it Let's throw a cob salad right and so me and camp by the way, we're both drinking water Me and cam were fully expecting to leave this dinner hungry. Oh, oh, yeah, we knew we were gonna run through mcdonald's after We're gonna go back. We're gonna talk about tomorrow. We're gonna run through mcdonald's, right? So we're ordering food. I've now I finished My food cams finished his food, right? Yes We made it a point not to touch anything that they order. Yeah, they're ordering the most expensive sides. There's stacks of crabs and oh, I'm like, I've never even seen this. No, no At one point the server said yeah, the wagyu is is uh, I think he said 45 or 50 dollars an ounce Not gonna say who someone goes. Yeah, let's get 10 ounces. I said that's 500. Oh, it's agent No agent zero zero said He goes, yeah, let's get 10 ounces of wagyu just 500 dollars off right there No, no agent said and there was one thing of a plate the size of the last supper table Filled with food and agents atop to your pocket watcher so I can say his dinner alone was close to a thousand dollars Oh, oh easily. Oh, I think it's more. Yeah. Yeah, that was one person 14 people at this dinner, right? So the dinner's over. I'm expecting me and cam Me and cam are like, okay, this is how much meat we're gonna pay together, right? We're gonna split it this way, right? Sure, I'm gonna sell you right because I don't know if my card's gonna work and we can't I I can't say fish stick seven for an akeisen that I can't I cannot do that. All right, so I go I go no problem, but no problem. I'm gonna use my ally card I'm like, I'm like, do you think if I say you like you think if I still want to duke dennis's diamonds off that chain We could pay for this No, no, literally though, we're like leaned over on my bro. Look at this tweet. It's crazy. So I'm like, just tell me later Yeah, no, just tell me later. I'll do it. But no, you have to tell me we're figuring this out Then amp in rdc world right after they've spent at least 20,000 on this dinner What they haven't spent yet at least they've accumulated thousands of dollars worth of food on this table We've touched 65 dollars worth of it. Yeah, we split the cops out. They're laughing. Ha ha. They're like, hey Try to bring out the check. How are we gonna do this? You know what? Bring one check I go, okay At first I went dude, they're gracious people. I was like the rich people are paying. That's awesome I was like the streamers really are nice man. Thank you so much. Me and Kim high five under the table I'm like Ted touches the leg. I'm like, dude. Yeah and then They go Think of you want to play a game you want to play a game? I go, I like games. I was like, dude, anybody brought cards out They go I spy Let's do credit card roulette When I when I say my heart hit my Oh my my literally went Kim I haven't even I've never in a month made what that dinner cost. Oh, yeah, I said, oh I said, I don't even have a credit card I said Like if mine were to get if mine were to get chosen my card will be declined. Yes, this would be the worst day of my life So I don't even know for life play that that brought me and cam so close together I'm saying when they said let's play card roulette me and cam immediately grabbed him We said we said a whole Oh And in hindsight mark was trying to it was like it was a it honestly was a Sadistic way to give us our flowers. Yeah. Yeah, he was giving us our flight because he goes, okay He goes someone from y'all like someone from amp put your card up I'll put our card up and he goes and he looks he looks like laughing We're at two seats that aren't supposed to be at the table. We're sitting like this with the biggest one He's like he's like, oh, y'all the big boys now y'all on the come up y'all are doing great. Y'all gotta put it and we And we're under the table like And when I tell you to take so so then we're we me and cam I swear to god We pull out the company card the company card. We just opened this because we were told to like there was probably Like just enough on this company card to get back to dallas And this wasn't earned money. This was still loan money That was on this card I literally pulled the card out of my wallet My wallet has rips in it like it's horrible. I like people think like Y'all don't understand agent was looking at me like this Oh, look it was like this. Yeah, that's I put my card down now the waitress comes to the table, right? Oh The the amp and already see are so excited. We're pulling card roulette swap all the cards behind your bag pick one Do that behind your bag just pick one. They they're still good to tap. They're smiling. They're smiling. I'm like this You ever make such hard eye contact with something to try to change the outcome. Yeah, I did no I went reverse psychology. I was staring at mark's card. I was staring at mark's card I said I literally said that's pick this one in my head. I was like, she's gonna pick this one She's gonna pick this one. She's I'm not looking at my card. I don't want her to know that's mine Pick that one pick that one in my head. I'm literally looking at her eyes Like I I'm hoping she can read my mind that if our cards picked we're far Over over a dinner we weren't supposed to be at bro. Oh, I'm like this She turns the card she everybody like amp already see they're having fun laughing. Yeah, they're excited to do Oh, it might be you bro. Yeah, the way even the way she's like, oh, who's it gonna be? I'm like, this isn't funny Like this is not this is life or death. Like this is not funny. Yeah, I'm let my butt my butt Is it's tightest can be yeah like oh She pulls out a card. It's rdc world's card, right? Mark Phillips is literally like this. Ah amp is like, ah me and camera like We're flipping the forks are flying everywhere. I'm really looking at Duke. I'm like Oh my god, oh, yeah, I go. Oh, you didn't finish your plate. I've been waiting on it Huh? Like amp broke Oh my dude, no, no that was to this date What like one of the most high anxious moments of my time? So it literally was terrifying now. It was Terrified I literally want next time we see them. I want to bring it. I think we had to do that And they're like they're gonna be like no, yeah, they're like no that was a regular thursday Yeah, I'm like well that was almost the bane of my villain arc Yeah, I almost had to start selling my To cover for that if we would have lost that deal and I love I love that that was just a thursday for you I love that that was a summer night thursday for you. I almost my whole life almost shifted Yeah, I can recall one of them saying yeah, this isn't even a bad one though. Yeah. Oh, no they did Yeah, and then they're like oh, do you remember that one in new york? Yeah, they're like dude No, that one was crazy like we we even had to split that one up. I said split We would have split up if we would have had to pay this bill We would have ended I would still be washing dishes at that restaurant right now. I'd be selling the Out of stuff at hibbet sports. I'd be I mean I'd be slaying in a hibbet. Oh my god. Oh my god, dude. Yeah, so that's a story, uh It was it was we probably already told that but maybe we didn't tell the the full truth like that before dog Oh, my god, that that was a fun. It was a fun moment though. That was like it's one of those It's like a it's like a haunted house or like a You're doing something bad But when you get out of it, you're like oh like that thrill. Yeah, like when you just like ding dong ditch It it literally felt like that. I was like, oh my god. We're done. It's just big Dude, I'm so my teacher sounds. Yeah. No, you think you were no I I think I was yeah Yeah, like I would have been that would have been my like that would have been my february to may payment You might have got a divorced. Oh, yeah No, she's done Oh, I go chain from brookie when I find you Yeah, I mean maybe just for the title's sake Cam got 11,000 dollars stolen from him. Yeah. Well, stolen's a nice way to put it. Oh your wife gave away 11,000 dollars. There we go Yep, that's it was rough still lover. We're still here today. But yeah, I know I didn't I actually the first time in my life I never left the bed for 24 hours outside to pee I remember that so my parents came that week My parents came that week and I remember they wanted to see you and I was like, I don't think it's happening Yeah, I remember it was Ryan's birthday. We went to that day that it happened. I think yeah, it was Ryan's birthday We went out to a dinner That that night and live left before the appetizer because you got up crying. Yeah, she was so in her head And you know she she deserved to be I mean, yeah, but like I even told her I was like it already happened It's in the past Like I'm talking I sped straight to the bank like I sped there and I'm like, no, no, this can't be like this cannot be And then it happened and then we had a dinner to go to and I was like just let it go let it go and she She was eating the appetizer. She went She's like, I'm so sorry. I can't can't be her. I can't I can't be eating food that costs money I was like live what the hell? Yeah, I remember I remember somebody at that dinner whispered to me They're like, it's cam and live. Okay, are they gonna break up and I was like, honestly, I don't know Yeah, you're like, hey, let's just pray for the best. Yeah, I remember that boy camp called me He was like in me and cam like we've had I can tell There's versions of cam There's these It's happened very rarely where he's called me and he's like Bro, I just need to talk to you and I'm like, oh Because cam rarely gets upset. Y'all know cam. Yeah, he's like, bro. I'm not gonna. I need to talk to you That boy told me and I was like, oh My god, basically it was I'm not gonna tell the story for you because maybe we could tell us on another episode But uh, you know how 96 year olds get scammed on the phone. I happened to my 23 at the time your old fiance Yeah, she just cleared cleared the whole bank account to a stranger in new york Yeah, we're gonna we might tell that story next week if you uh, if y'all want it I'll give that next week Can I ask you a question that's real quick because we're talking about relationships and stuff. Oh god. Oh my god Oh episode 200. Yeah, y'all get to see Voldemort Maybe depends. She has the right to say she doesn't want to do it anymore But maybe maybe there's maybe there's enough comments on this episode that will convince her say boldy We need you boldly. We want to meet you. Please boldy. Please boldy. Maybe she'll see that and be like, you know what? Okay, yeah, but I'm ready our relationships. What we say. Um, it's being our relationships So I've been in a relationship. I see the concealer real quick. Can I see the thing? No, because I did a bad job And I think it doesn't it doesn't show how good it looks good because I did I am good at makeup That's not funny I'm I did do makeup stores as good. I wasn't good then. It's fine. It's good That looks a lot better. It really does. It really does. Yeah, like I mean, maybe I mean, it's not perfect I still clearly very easily see that. Well, if I spend time like 30 minutes, I'll get it done Half an hour. I'm telling you. I am nice. Like whenever I met my girl's parents. I was wearing makeup. Sorry I'm not sure They're like relationships. Yeah, anyway Relationships speaking of relationships. So I've been in a relationship for about I mean, honestly a couple days. That's first. I asked Finally What you didn't know that? What? Yeah, I asked you to be my girlfriend. Yeah Yeah The 20th Oh Not good You'll literally see her every day for the past like four months. You basically been dating her for a lot longer, but it's official Yeah, that's sick Anyway, oh my god, how'd you do it? You want to know? Oh my god, the whole world wants to know tell us your how you maybe she tells it on episode 200 That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. But yeah, it was really good. Yes. I told us I was tighten up I was like you've been here for a while. She's crying. There's waterworks. Oh my god. Oh my god. She was crying I did with the flu so I was little too. It's like so we couldn't celebrate But uh So I've been in a relationship for not too long a couple months. Yeah, like eight days I've been in a relationship for a couple months. You've been in a relationship for eight years Yeah, long time. So you've been in a relationship a long time now This is For the holidays. This was the longest I've spent away from my girl Right and I'm a 26 year old man and I want to know if this is still okay to do. Okay I was away from my girl for like three days and I missed her right and I like to sleep next to her You better watch you. You better watch what you say as a 26 year old man, I still ask In borderline demand my girl to FaceTime sleep with me Like we go to sleep on the on FaceTime together. That is the lamest Most A grown man can do really I've never heard really yes, but it's isn't it so nice to wake up your phone's hot and you They're still there No, your phone's hot battery drained your bed's probably warm now and all I'm hearing is live I Know this is not attractive. It's not I'm not seeing it's not fun. I'm not holding nothing I'm not holding nothing. Okay, but I'm going to bed. I want to watch tiktok. Okay, but I'm saying you could joint watch tiktok You share play tiktok. That's what we did You I might honestly I don't think you're in love You know, I think I'm in so much love that I want my Space sometimes and I don't think there's anything wrong with you, but not at night. I would pay money to sleep But like oh sleep away from it for an hour. I pay I really pay wait Okay, so how long have you been sleeping in the same bed as your wife for a long time like fuck? I mean Like four ish years now four years. So say you go on a two week trip away from your wife. You're not great I go it's so good. I've never I'm more limber than ever I don't have any pain in my ribs from her little good They're like orc feet just sticking in my ribs all night. I get to sleep normal. I get to sleep longer There's no baby. There's no alarm now that all this sounds bad, but I'm saying this Yeah, it seems like you hate the life you told me. No, no, no, I love it. I call her before I go to bed But I will that's the difference. You're like, oh baby. Let's share play and join do tiktok. No, yes Someone's mad. I don't like my wife's algorithm. It's a bunch of sappy mom. She doesn't like my oh, no both And it's like that my girls I really out No, don't don't don't don't calm down my girl out Hey, just breathe. I'm gonna do something real bad. I'm gonna do something. I regret just breathe. Don't no You're not no, you're gonna do something. I will tackle you before that tv gets shattered. No, my girl's algorithm is really funny So I like it like she's funny. Yeah But so you think I'm weird for as a 26 year old man with when I'm away from my girl for 48 hours I need to FaceTime sleep with her. Yes. I need to sleep on FaceTime with her. No, what is the point of I'm set. I miss you. I miss you and that's not doing you're not sold. You boy. This isn't kiss me through the phone You're you say you love her. Maybe it maybe you see it or not I'll leave maybe maybe you show something you leave happy and then it's over No, hey, good night tiktoks for the next three hours if you text i'm not responding because i'm pretending i'm asleep when really I'm doing something I like When really i'm just doom scrolling don't get to do it at home I've watched 413 tiktoks still awake. Oh babe. I really miss you. I'd love to talk to you. Can't read it because i'm supposed to be sleep That's how that works. I think you that's what you do See, I don't have to do that because I don't maybe a little tv sports center But that's see that's a difference. I don't predicate my relationship on the lies. I can say I can say hey I want to watch tv. I want to watch tiktoks. Oh, I heard that too. Yeah, it's on the back end text, babe You're still up. Sure. But you're not gonna know Oh oops, she's gonna check to see if the green dots there time to move to twitter Not gonna be tracked down. Let's pop into insta real quick. Oops. She's on it's a back to twitter I'm not being caught. I'm doing what I want Dude, I I have to I have to and we make it worse Whenever we go to sleep together on FaceTime because normally when we sleep together in the same bed We we go cheek to cheek like face to face cheek Because it's the most comfortable way. No, don't make fun of me. Don't make fun of me. You all should be happy I spent my whole 20s being sad We like to go to sleep. We like to sleep cheek to cheek like this, right? We like to like it. We literally like share each other's breath. It's the best thing ever. No, it's so nice I love it. I love her nighttime breath. It's a it's a little nasty. I love it. I love it. Oh your breath is Oh, don't talk about my breath So we're going like this and that's my mind has Conformed that's how you sleep So when we FaceTime and we go to sleep together I go babes cheekies cheeky time Baby, it's cheeky time babes cheekies time babes cheeky time And then y'all if y'all start on the phone you're sitting there Are you catching cycle We did and then she but I like she plays along too. She goes babe You need to bring your cheek up a little bit. It's not even and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry Oh, dude, this I mean, I there's a couple things one You better you better never do wrong by this woman because you have found the ultimate the ultimate ultimate partner and two She needs her literal heart needs to be studied on how it's so vast and so oh Oh, so understanding. Yeah. Oh, so No, it's understanding she's the same on the outside you're a six seven light skin Model and on the inside you talk about some oh cheekies and your debit cards have smiley faces I would venture to this fish stick seven. I would use concealer. I would venture to say aesthetically It's more crazy that she's weird. She literally looks like a supermodel like she's 511 yes, but that but that but that's a thing nowadays. That's a that's a thing That's a thing nowadays dude whenever we were first we first met her and we were like that's the most beautiful person We've seen ever like in person we would have never thought That's true. Like I literally pick her up and I go, oh baby lifties. Yeah, she goes. Oh, dude. Yes. Yes. Oh my dude Oh my god. Yeah, Robbie knows we'll talk about on the extended I go like this love you live Yeah, out of here. Yeah, and that's it and you'll get there one day I did it sometimes. No, I love I love live that was all jokes. But yeah, you're tripping. I will never face time sleep I don't think you're in love. No, I'm past love. That's that's just the reality. It's just accepted I would take a bullet for live. I love her more than anything. I she's the greatest but Yeah, exactly. I am not going to fake sleep with my artificial wife through a seven inch rectangle She uses her iPad Do you prop a pillow up for her? No, no, no because we don't sleep like that. She doesn't like pillows when she's first off cheek to cheek like where are your hips? We're spooning So then how are you cheek to cheek? I'm big. I'm really big. So are you big spoon or little spoon? You're big spoon and you're just Noggin it. I'm all on her head. Yeah, or we can sleep just back like we we call it fan fanpire sleepies We're on our back and we just go like this fanpire sleepies The beard doesn't yeah, no, she's broken out a little bit right here Because she she told she she says hey, you got to watch your beard because I keep I'm breaking out No, yeah, she doesn't like pillows. We'll talk about them when she's on she's getting enough spotlight She's not that cool Okay, can I she smells my sick farts? Dude, I mean like I think the episode's done. No, but there's a lot. They really is like there's a line There's a line of and then it's like you're you're crossing. Yeah, she goes. Oh, you are sickies. Yeah, let's get out Let's get out. Let's end the episode. We did it. We got it. We everything's good. It's a good episode No Next week is gonna be good Yeah Oh my god. Oh, you are sick. He's where's your pecker? Oh tiny pecky's Oh such little tiny meters Sounds like my house Oh my god, I pray I pray all of you can find love like that one day and I'm so glad for our boy Uh, appreciate each and every single one of you coming back to episode 198 guys. We're two away two away from episode 200 That is almost four years consecutive never missing a monday We absolutely love and appreciate you all for coming back week after week eight as always Share this with your biggest enemy your number one hater your number one friend your best friend Your aunt your uncle your cousin your mom your papi your dog your fish share with anybody We absolutely love you confuse the casuals get the good karma with this week's secret code Give it to me Cameron. You got it. ART art art AR Assimilating robitussin I just loved your story in the beginning austin road trip. Oh, uh assimilating robitussin Love you and remember one hour to the qualifiers. Don't make it home to christmas. We'll see you next time assimilating robitussin testicles 500 orders a month was manageable 5,000 is madness Embrace intelligent order fulfillment with ship station the only platform combining order management warehouse workflows Inventory returns an analytics in one place What used to take five separate tools ship station does in one go to shipstation.com And use code start to try ship station free for 60 days