How Your Environment Shapes Your Success - Annette Farha

This is iDesignLab, a podcast where creativity and curiosity meet style and design. Curator of interiors, furnishings, and lifestyles. Hosted by Tiffany Woolley, an interior designer and a style enthusiast, along with her serial entrepreneur husband Scott. iDesignLab is your ultimate design podcast where we explore the rich and vibrant world of design and its constant evolution in style and trends. Today on the iDesignLab, meet Anette Farha, intuitive design coach and author of Finding My Way Home, who reveals how your space can become your greatest advantage, shaping your clarity, confidence, and success from the inside out. Welcome to the iDesignLab podcast. Today we are joined remotely from Kansas by Anette Farha, who is an intuitive designer. I'm excited to dive into this conversation and learn about her method. She's also an author and welcome, Anette, to the iDesignLab podcast. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. So welcome and tell our audience, introduce yourself. Tell us a little about yourself. I'm Anette Farha, and I am an intuitive interior designer. And what that means is I took after 400 homes of being a realtor, a draftsman, an interior designer, and all of my healing and body work, I merged them together to be an intuitive designer so you can come home to you. Meaning, using the elements of feng shui instead of having to learn feng shui, what if you just tapped into you and used what you know about nature and integrated that so that you can build a relationship with your space and your life can become easier and more free. I love that. You know, as Scott and I were doing some of our own research, I said it's kind of a more mindful feng shui. So what led you to this philosophy? Really what accelerated it, what started it was I had one baby and then I couldn't have another baby. I would govern miscarriages. And along the way, I found Denise Lynn who wrote a book called Soul Coaching. My best friend was doing the edit for it, kind of on her trial. And so at that point in 2003, I started really getting into, wow, if we listen and we understand feng shui, we really have all the answers. We're always looking out there when everything's really right here. So I got pregnant, had a baby, then I was incorporated at that point and my marriage exploded. Oh, jeez. So I found myself going from a corporate job with a secretary to basically living in my car with two little boys. And I started drafting houses. So I realized really quickly I wasn't going to make a living that way. So I picked up a real estate license, build a real estate team. In the interim, I fell in love again. And that gentleman, after 10 years together, got AML leukemia. Oh, wow. And so in my 30s, dealing with cancer caregiving, I really started looking at how our body works. We spent a lot of time at MD Anderson, which is just an amazing hospital with international doctors and all the healing work I was doing. They really embraced because it had to do with our breath. So wherever our breath goes, oxygen goes. Yes. And when we come out of our heads and come down into our bodies, there's all this knowledge for us. We have to listen. We have to listen. And what I realized is so many of my clients in real estate, I was helping them design new homes, like I've done 400 new homes and changed lives. But when they wanted a new home, they really wanted a new life. That makes so much sense actually. Yeah. And so what I was doing with them was like, take your shoes off, come stand in the grass. Just come here with me. Be here. And they were like, you are so weird. I'm in Kansas. So people were like, what is wrong with her? And I was like, I just need you to get out of your head and come here. Like I just need you just to come here. So I just started helping them breathe and take their breath from up here in their chest down to blow up a belly. You blow up your belly like it's a balloon. And then release all the oxygen and then release more. Hold that. Now that's clean oxygen and just that alone. How do you feel now? Clear. And from this place now let's design your home. I love that. Do you see the difference? So it's almost starting like with your guru and meditation or am I saying that correctly? Yeah. I love meditation. I never used Feng Shui because I'm in Kansas. I just used, hey, can we just slow down your breath? So I did a lot of work with preschoolers and kindergartners because of my kid's trauma from the divorce. And I just used what I learned with them. Simplicity. Simplicity. Yeah. Like let's not make it hard. And take it down a notch. Life can be so hectic and there's so much noise. You are just. So when you're helping someone with the house, you're starting with that process like you just said before they actually walk in the house. Yeah, because we have to really get clear. So the thing I really worked with people on before, if you're a realtor, you do not want to show 20 houses and have them pick the first house you showed them. Like, it's going to be really stressful life. Right. So I needed to figure out quickly how to help them check into what they really wanted. So I would have a meeting before and we would talk about what do you value? What are your top values? If I gave you a magic wand, tell me your perfect life. Don't tell me about the house. Tell me how you want to live. Do you see the difference? Definitely. And then we. No, so those same rules were applied to design essentially. Right. So once you've done this 400 times and you see that it works and you can help people get to a feel. So we create a feel word. I want my home to feel inspiring. I want my home to feel warm, like a warm hug. I want my home to feel like the hub for everybody to come to. Right. I love that so much. I do. I appreciate everything you just said because, you know, I often say with design and in this, you know, Instagram world of picture things looking like a certain way. All my projects are so authentically lived in with a feeling. You know, they're not all picture perfect. They are picture perfect, you know, aesthetics and presentations of the people who live inside. Yeah, I just think of the Dr. Seuss book be the USU. Yeah. Like why would we design magazine? I mean, it still looks magazine perfect, but it needs to look like them. Right. 100%. And in this world of like, you know, wanting to keep up or stay on a design trend, I feel like I'm constantly kind of pushing away from that as well, just to be more authentic and create a space that's truly a statement and a testament to your life well lived. That's why I was excited to be here with you. Is that authenticity and bringing it home? I feel like we live in a marketing world where it's like, hey, I've got the blue pill. I've got the answer. Yeah. And I'm like, you know, I'm 52 years old. I've done over 400 projects. The answer has never been out there. It's always been helping them come inside. Yeah. And really feel into what would be so nourishing and helpful to them. It's so true. And as this design industry has evolved, I was just thinking, haven't you realized that design used to be so much more like it unobtainable? And now it's more obtainable and good things are obtainable and the layers are more obtainable. And there are people like you, a coach and, you know, me and interior design as well as you, you know, that it's a more, people have it at their fingertips, but they do need guidance. Yes. And they need to learn to trust themselves, right? Yes. And they need to be a huge part of the process. Right. Our favorite, my favorite clients are the ones that are like, oh, I love that. I hate that. Right. Because we could keep moving. The ones that are like, I don't know. I don't know. I'm like, okay, let's step back before we start picking things and let's get clear on what feels good to you. I love that. I mean, it really is a process. Yeah. And our homes. So what we do is so important because every morning you get up and you get dressed. And if it's winter, you put something on that makes sense for winter. If it's summer, you put something that makes sense for summer. And we never think about that our homes are the first thing our nervous system experiences in the morning. Right. It's the last thing it experiences when it goes to bed, but we put more decisions into the clothes we wear than the place that's holding us. You're so right. And that is such a great point. And I often think of that even on a budgetary level. You know, some people are so hesitant. Why would I spend this much money on a sofa? I'm like, but you spend it on a handbag. You know, it's, it's where is the value? And I feel like we need to value our home more because of exactly what you're explaining. Yeah. When you think of your kids or your husband who's sitting beside you, you work on that relationship, right? Yes. Like if you don't, your garden gets all weeds and it gets overgrown. So we are in relationship with our homes and our spaces, whether we want to be aware of it or not. You're, you're totally, I mean, totally right. I mean, and I think of the process too, like even, you know, your clients, you do become a coach, whether you realize it or not, you're coaching them through this connection, this process, through the trust of letting you do what you do best. It really is, you know, some sort of intuition. It is intuition. And so I think that's the big shift that I'm excited about is, yes, you may not know how to make a gallery wall. You might need a designer to help you with that. And you know what art makes you feel happy. Right. Right. So when I can help them take their power back, I feel like it's such a growth because what works now may not work this summer. I might switch. I just switched one thing out, right? Like I like it to move with my seasons, just like nature. Just like how we get dressed. And it helps not be stagnant as well. You get inspired. It's almost like even when you clean out your closet in the summer or, you know, once a year, you do feel inspired. Like, oh, I want to be in that space because it feels so good. Right. So because I've lost a partner, what changed my life was cleaning my closet. So I always tell people that at the moment you say, goals are great, but you reach them and then you have to set another goal. Yes. When you set an intent, I intend. When I'd been three years after he passed away, I got to the place that I was like, I intend to step in and be the sage I want to be. And so when I look through my closet, all I had was black. Like I had this been trying to hide for so long. Oh, wow. I wasn't showing any of my magic, which I'm so colorful. Right. And so that moment that I just got rid of a whole bunch of stuff and let it be empty and let my nervous system be okay with empty. Right. That was in a grief process was so transformational. And so those are the clients I usually work with. They're in transition. They've lost someone. They are getting married. Their kids have left. They're empty nesting their job changing. Those are the people that are like, my house doesn't fit the life I want to step into. And I don't even know exactly what I'm stepping into. I just know it doesn't fit. And so how do they find you and how do they know they need that help? Or do you kind of even help them realize that that's the stage? I mean, I had a conversation with a friend this morning who's going through, you know, this empty nest process. I mean, it really is another form of grief and it is a life changing time where it's a positive when you can place some of that energy in recreating your house or recreating your little foundational place. But back, how do they find you and find that that's where they are? So 80% of my people come from referral. Wow. I have a website, a design discovery. And on there, you can do my design diagnostics. So you can see if you're used back or you need something that's free. You can do a spark session, which is just time with me so I can help see what's most I don't sell. This is what I tell people. Like a spark session, you come, I hand you a magic wand and we make a shift or I help you get the resources you need that are going to be most helpful for where you're looking to go. Okay. One of the people that came to a spark session was she had just started her new company and she's like, I have nine contracts out and nobody has sent them back. I was like, all right, they all verbally agreed, but nobody was replying. I was like, okay, well, let's look at your space. And there was a couch blocking the flow to her space to where her desk was. And I was like, hey, just push that couch up against the wall. Okay, just open up flow with the intent. May all the abundance meant for me flow to me in perfect timing. That's it. Yeah, she's like, okay. So the next morning she emailed me back and was like, hey, all nine contracts in this morning when I woke up, I was like, yeah, you were just blocking yourself because she was clear. Right. Like she has a new business. So it's so exciting to get the contracts, but you get the contracts and it's, you know, you've got to do the work. And then you're like, oh no, I know I can do it, but I haven't done nine at once. That is how to work through that energy flow. Right. So when you say, so they come to you, they take this, you know, online exam. And is that what you use to gauge what you're going to be leading them to? And then sometimes, I mean, they fill out a form for the Spark session and sometimes it shifted. Sometimes we get on the phone and it's nothing they thought. I'll ask a question because I can see energetically and they'll be like, oh my gosh. That's the question I was scared to ask. I was like, okay, do you want to explore it? And it's always your choice if you want to come explore it or not. But, but it also, it almost sounds like organization is a situation for people from what you're saying. Like clutter, does clutter like have an effect that you're coming in and helping organize? Yeah, clutter is always a challenge and it doesn't always look like clutter. So this morning I worked out with my trainer and she was like, my stomach is messed up. And I was like, she's very intuitive. So I do a thing called juicers and zappers. Say that again. It's what is it? It's called juicers and zappers. Okay. Think of something that juices your energy that you're like, yes. Maybe it's ice cream. Maybe it's sun on your face. Like you're like, yes. Now feel how that feels in your body. Like, oh, right, right. Now think of a zapper. Maybe it's your mother-in-law yelling at you or something like that at all. Yeah. And you're like, that has a different feel in your body, right? So now if you're having, she was having a stomach issue. I'm like, health is always the center of your home. So I said, take a box, go to the center of your home, just close your eyes and just feel all the objects and feel what feels like your juicer versus your zapper. Put any zappers in your box. And I said, you can leave it on the counter till your spouse gets home and you guys can go through it. And so she, she texted me and she was like, oh my God, I can't believe it. I had these candlesticks for my first marriage. I hate them. Why are they here? They're in the middle of my house. I literally got rid of them and I feel so much better. I was like, okay, that was it. But it wasn't like they were ugly or clutter. It was just something she hadn't thought about in a long time. That is one, like. So did, how did you learn all of this? How did you come about with a lot of this through the, yeah, connect all of that. Because it all, it all makes sense. But I think it's people don't think about this on a daily basis. I know. A weekly or monthly or yearly. Do you ever feel like the life you've led, the reason you do what you do, it's because of all the experiences of your life. Have you ever felt like that? Yeah. I mean, I would say Scott's pretty big into that. I mean, he lives a lot, like I would say in continuation of all your experiences. Well, I've had so many because I've always wanted to go, whatever came to my mind or someone told me about something, I wanted to go do it, experience, see it and accomplish it. Yeah, that's me. I feel like there's some of that, right? And there's these life things, like when you go from having a great corporate career, six digits to living in your car and then rebuilding a whole, I built five companies and sold them and then you lose your partner. And along the way, you know, seven miscarriages along the way, you're looking for the skills in yourself, your toolbox, for how do you get to the next step. And when you hit, all of a sudden you have all these tools in your toolbox and you're like, wait a minute, how can I make this so simple? Like, I don't want to complicate it anymore. I've been doing this now for 20 years. So then you start making it so simple a preschooler can do it because we don't have time. Like if you say I want to do one more thing, like you're like, okay, where is that going to fit in my day? Right. I always say I don't need one more thing to do. I don't need one more thing. So there's a book called the atomic habits and he's like, all you got to do is something 10 minutes and it's going to move the needle. So like, oh, I could use something for 10 minutes a day, right? Right. So that's kind of the whole series that I based on. So when I learned to meditate, I did it one minute a day for a year before I could even breathe. Like one minute. That's one minute for one year. One minute. And did you do it at the same time every day, every day for a year or? I'm a big dog person. So I had two dogs. So I'd walk my dogs to a tree, set my timer and it was like that one minute was an hour. It was horrible. And I had to learn how to breathe. I was all thorax breathing. So I was adrenaline. So that was dream my divorce. And that was my only assignment. And by the end of the year, I was like, if I wrote a Christmas letter this year, I would say the only thing I accomplished is learning to do. That was it. But at least you moved the needle. Like, but I knew the needle. And then the next year, like I learned to meditate. I learned, but I couldn't do that without doing the one foundational piece. Right. That one pivot. Yeah. And so I feel like instead of that's pretty much what my book, Finding Your Way Home is about is like, we make it hard. When really we just got to move the needle each day a little bit. So how does that work? So how does somebody and like the found a like explain your book Finding Your Way Home and how somebody can incorporate the principle of just moving the needle in their home. Is it like spent, you know, organizing for 10 minutes a day. Is it decluttering? Like, what is the founding principle? The first thing is to breathe. So you keep going back to your breath. You do. You have to know that you're in your body. Yeah. So what you do from your head is like the blue circle of death on your computer because your brain is here to keep you alive. So it's always going to continue to do the things it knows. It may be good for you. It may not. It doesn't care. It's keeping you alive. So the first thing is you just have to breathe and be like, oh, can I feel my feet or my shoulders down? Oh, okay. I'm here. Okay. So you have seven exercises in it. One of them is know your values. What do you value most? You pick five and then you have a then you have like a barometer of, oh, is this important thing or not? Right. So there are super simple things that you just keep using and integrating so that you keep coming back to what's important to you and what matters most. And you can change any of them anytime, right? Right. You're in control of that. Yeah. And only you know when you start looking outside going, oh, I need a blue pill to fix this. Whoa. Come back to the breath. To the breath. What's your most aligned next step? And don't worry about the whole staircase. We live in, do you remember, were you familiar with Harry Potter world? Yeah. So I feel like we live in a world where our staircases are always moving. So we're like, okay, we got to figure out the whole staircase to the top. And then we take three steps and our staircase moves and we're like, wait a minute, no one. Yes. So not that you don't want an end in mind, like, you know, but you don't want to be attached to it. You just want to be like, I took the next best step. Yes, me. And just those simple things. So how does one like correlate that to the home? Because obviously I feel like what you're saying is so important in every little aspect of our life. I mean, like when I say intuitive, like we intuitively eat you intuitively exercise your sleep journal. I mean, every day in business, you intuitively make decisions. How do we, how is your process turning it back to the house, to the life? So how we do in our homes and in our lives as we feel a function of flow. So at any point we're stuck in a feeling that we need to move through that and we might look at our house. Our house will give us love letters before our body. So there'll be a place you pile things. You'll see a pile collecting for us. I know when my husband wants to talk to me, his connection corner in our bedroom piles full of crap because he knows when he talks to me, I'm going to be like, okay, let's keep talking. And he just wants to talk and be done. So I'll be like, oh, our house is giving us this little nudge that we need to have a conversation. You may get to a place like right now I made this spring. This was like lots more dark colors and kind of cuddling colors. Moody. Because I really hibernate in the winter and then I come back out. So you might feel like, ooh, the house feels, it feels heavy. I come home and I feel heavy. So I always tell people when you, the first step you take into a room is the most important. And the reason it's most important is because you're determining how does my body feel? Is it feel in alignment with how I want to feel? Or is it out of alignment? I feel sticky. I feel like, ooh, I don't want to be in this room. That's at the moment, you know, that room needs a little love. So that makes sense. Yes, totally. And like, so for example, I have something I'm like thinking of as you're saying all this, like, so if somebody buys a home and it's a lot, it's kind of a money pit, but you see the potential and you're excited about living in this neighborhood and you know, you've met nice friends. Like there's so many positives, but the house is like needs an overwhelming amount of work. And obviously life is busy and you have to allocate money to, you know, certain priorities and you want to do the trip and your child needs this music lesson. And how does, how do you integrate your philosophy with not feeling so stuck, but also Overwhelmed. Overwhelmed, but being able to obtain those like challenges that this house possesses. I just did this with a family in Dallas. They got 22 days back in their lives by moving closer to where the kids were in school and doing all their activities. Okay. But to do that and stay in their budget, we needed to do a house that we could remodel. Right. It couldn't be ready. So we need to finish the garage. So what we're doing is what's most important to them is health. They were having all these health issues. So we looked at the middle of the house and made sure that the health part, which was the kitchen in this house is exactly what they need. Then I was like, okay, that was easy because that actually had been remodeled. I'm like, okay, that's good. Then their next big thing was making sure they had connection, family time, that everything, she's like, my kids are only going to be small for a short time. I don't want to miss this time. So then we looked at their family area looking at the Bog law and we focused on that area. So right now we have everything flowing. We need to remodel the laundry room and we need to redo the, we need to bring the bedroom, the garage, make that their master suite. Okay. So that's a big task. That's a big task. So we are in the process of getting all their remodel beds and seeing we kind of had it. We already had a remodel look at it before they bought the house. So we're in that process now, but we kind of had to step it up. So they, I started working with them to sell their house back in July. They got into their new house in November and now we're just now looking at the remodel part. So we just kind of do step by step based on what their priorities are, what they value most. Cause I could really, It's really a totally different philosophy from designing remodeling a house than we go through. Well, and it's funny cause as I'm listening and hearing and even engaging in this conversation, I, I'm like thinking of so many clients and little things I'm dealing with myself. So for example, yesterday I went and met with a possible new client and they have great taste. They have beautiful pieces and they merged, you know, this was their second home that they came for a vacation, which has now become their main home. So two different style houses are now merged together and they are so like stuck all like they had a space. And it's, and it's kind of funny cause I kept saying, you know, you have great pieces and you've been looking at it for so long and you realize what you've lived with. And it's funny cause they actually called me a year ago and now they're calling again. And they're just like, we haven't done anything and we're just not enjoying this space and this house and we need help. So it's so interesting that we're having this conversation today because I said it's kind of like a kaleidoscope in a way. I take, my process is still the same. I take all your pieces. Obviously this floor plan is what it is. And now we're going to like reimagine it to breathe new life into it. Yeah. Yes. And what you're noticing is they say they want something new, but they want something new by staying in their certain place of what they know. Right. And so it's this gap that you're like, so one of the things I found to be most helpful and makes people absolutely insane is we are going to take out, this is when I do the juicers and zippers. Like anything that isn't I love and perfect, we are just going to remove. I use the pods and the driveway. That's good. It's my stuff. I'm like, I get it, but we just have to open up space and flow so you can see it in a new way. So I call up the time capsule and I put it in there for two weeks and then I come back with this space with much more openness with only what they love. And I'm like, okay, now what did you miss? What are you like? Oh, I can't wait to get back out of my time capsule. I know it sounds strange, but what is this stuff? It's our bodies trying to keep us alive and safe. And so we have to work with it instead of against it. This kind of the what I'm noticing for people. Right. And so when you get, how do you get them to that place where they're ready for a pod in the driveway? I mean, and you know, like, what does that process look like? Yes. This gap, you have to really make them uncomfortable. Like, you talked to me a year ago. You've called me back. What is the pain? Right. If you stay like this for another year, what will your life look like? Right. I don't think it will look any different. And make them write it down. Like I take and make a T-Chart on my piece of paper. Like, here's what it's like if we stay where we are, tell me all the things and I just keep writing them down. And I'm like, okay, now let's imagine, let's imagine this house that feels so like you. What do you want it to feel like? And I talked through that. They give me their feel word. Like, okay, oh, I can feel it. Can you feel that? I make sure they can feel it. Then I'm like, okay, in this house, tell me what your life is like. And then I make that list. Then I show them the list and I'm like, which would you like to have next year? It's your choice. Right. It's true. And they have to commit. So are you committed? Is this vision of what you could have so good that you're going to commit to the pain it's going to take to get there? The pain is short. Right. But there's going to be pain. I don't have the magic wand. This is just going to magically help. Do you discuss budget needs and all of that too? I mean, how does that, like, because a feeling like you can't put a cost on that freedom at some point. So I don't talk about a budget until we're clear on what they want. Gotcha. Now, when we're clear on what they want and if they want to commit to that, then I'm like, okay, what would be your perfect budget? Okay, what's your maximum budget? Right. Right. That's, that's, yeah. Right? Yeah, absolutely. And then I'm like, okay, so for your perfect budget, we are only gonna be able to let some things go. That's all we can probably afford at this point, because you guys are struggling with that hard. So do you wanna dig deeper and figure out why you're struggling? Because you say you want something, but you're keeping yourself where you were. And that's painful. So how do we wanna, how do we wanna spend our resources? Is usually they give me an ideal budget that's totally unrealistic. So I have a question I have to ask. And I ask it because of clients that come into, you know, our business. Husband and wife comes in, you must have some couples that the wife or the husband is very in tune and loving and hearing in what you're saying. But then one of them really doesn't really care about the feeling and so forth. And it's just dollars and cents. And this is what I like and this is what I want. I don't care. Do you have that? How do you deal with? Oh yeah, all the time. I call it designing for the sexes. So usually the one that's all about numbers, they're there because they wanna make their spouse happy. Right. So how I approach it is I'm very budget oriented. So when I did all new construction, I actually had a program that was like Amazon where you put stuff in your cart and you decided how much your house cost. So I developed a system like that so that you had all the control and the cost of your house. So I'm very budget conscious. Wait, explain that. I don't quite understand what you meant by that by putting it in. What are you putting into the cart? Like a second floor goes in the cart or? Yeah. So I would design a floor plan. I draft the plan and then I would create all the flooring options. Like do you want real wood? Do you want unsteered wood? You know, like whatever you want, you just type in the square footage and it would tell you for this house how much it would cost. And so when you type everything in, they would be like, oh, I don't want an $800,000 house. I want a $600,000 house. I'd be like, okay, here's your choices. But they got to choose, so they got to control it. Does that make sense? Yes, yep, yep. And people like to feel like they have control. Absolutely, they do. Right. So what I usually tell my budget person is, tell me your budget. Tell me if I could guarantee I will make your budget, whatever it is, are you willing to come with me on this journey so your spouse can be complete and feel in love and create the space they want? And usually the budget person is like, you promise you won't go over budget? I'm like, I promise. If I go over budget, you get the choice. They're like, okay, do I have to come to these meetings? I'm like, that's your spouse's choice. I'm like, right? If you guys want to silo this and you're okay with that, right? If she feels like she wants you involved, then let's figure out how you're involved. Well, I have the project in us. I mean, I love what I do. And I do feel like we do play therapist in some realm. So I kind of understand how you got to this place because there is a lot of personality we're dealing with. There is a lot of, what's the word? What people are expectations you're dealing with? And in South Florida, there is a lot of new construction and there is a lot of, these houses are large and dense. So it takes a lot of things to feel or layers, not necessarily things, but layers to feel warm, to feel put together, to feel like you've actually spent money because sometimes you can spend so much money and feel like, oh my God, this house is still empty. So my biggest challenge and my goal is to spread a budget as far as I can to make that house feel like it's a home and somebody's enjoying it and happy with it. I've recently had a situation where the budget was so intent and the house scale really wasn't doable within the budget to get the vibe and the feeling and the aesthetic that the wife was looking for. So we've had to navigate where we would take our proposals and dissect it enough to make the budget work, but then the wife didn't like what she was left with. So it was like a vicious cycle that I almost felt like you can't win and then it's kind of beyond the design. That's where I have one of those right now too. So I did what the wife wanted and then what the husband's budget was. And I said, so these are the differences. So where do you wanna be? Do you wanna, I actually said, do you wanna leave some rooms just nothing in them so you can get the working space you want? Like these are choices. I'm not telling you to pick a different budget. I'm telling you that for this budget, if we want the family, the master suite and the living room, kitchen, dining area to be what the wife wants, literally we're gonna put nothing in the other rooms. Right, and we did have that conversation as well. Like we have to be realistic. Yeah, so I mean, and a lot of times people don't understand what things cost today. No, not at all. Or the process of how they cost. It's not just the base cost. There is a cost to doing business and there's a cost to get it here and there's a cost to deliver it and install it and there's layers to that cost and it does have value, like it really does finish the process to get you happy. Well, it's like, do you wanna walk around naked or do you wanna show your best foot forward? How do you wanna show up for your interview for life? Yeah, you're right. I said that's what it's like. I mean, if you're brave enough to show up, make it good for you. I don't have that brain break. I totally hear what you're saying. Yeah, it is. And that's kind of the conversation that my team and I do have. Like, don't you want, and not that you care what people think, but it is a reflection of how you feel and then how you live. It's like, I mean, don't you want people to realize that you can see this through and like when you're entertaining and you feel proud instead of embarrassed. It's, there is a madness to that. Well, I also, so I also did commercial real estate. So I also do the math. So I love math. I know it sounds crazy. So I have a spreadsheet for everything, but I also do the math for how much did you spend on your home? So this is the framework, right? These are your bones. So you spent this much on the bones of you and how much, so when you're looking at the budget you're doing for your interior design, does it make sense? Right. And that's typically how I approach a job. Yes, like what your investment is, you don't want to obviously overprice yourself, but you also don't want to undervalue. Right. And then I'm like, if we're running into, you know, issues with budget, I'm like, how much, how often do we use every space? There's, you know, so then I start doing percent totals. Like we spend 50% of our time here, right? Like, oh, that room's only 5%. That'll be one we don't do. Oh my God. So are you fun with things like that? Right. Like I'm not telling you to pick a different budget. I'm telling you, you're going to have harder choices with the budget you chose. Right. And to be mindful of that. I feel like we live in an area and in a time where there is so much on, you know, what everybody else is doing. So like when you're sitting there with like the family from Dallas and, you know, they're there or Texas, they're in a stage of, you know, probably wanting to have it all done, but it's not all done. How, like, are they looking for coaching on how to get through that timing? You know, like I feel like it's... Yeah, so that, yeah, so it's very funny because I got them all moved. I got the plan to the, like I got everything with their contractor. So everything was set up. So we completed at the end of February and I was like, let me know if you need anything. And I just had a call with her yesterday. She's like, I need to hire you back. I can't emotionally do this without you. I was like, okay. Right. Like you got it. So I always make it so that it's their choice and they're coming back and then we create our contract and how we want to work going forward because she's like, I have a lot of tools and here's all the things I've changed. And integration is harder than I thought. Like I know how to do it and you've been doing it with me and I thought without you, I could just keep doing it, but I don't have everything as solid as I wanted. So, but I always try to leave my people with a whole bunch of living tools that went along with their remodel so that they live there like differently after me than they did before me. Leaving it better. That's my hope. Yeah, for sure. And I teach them to play. Like if we can't get all the layers we want, how are you gonna play and add layers when I leave? How do you know? How do you do original art? Go to first Friday art events and get original art from upcoming artists. How do you create a really expressive, energetic place in the most cost effective, fun way for you? Right. So are you picking items? Are you picking their floor with them? Are you curating bathrooms and are you actually still designing or coaching mainly? So I do the blueprint. I love space planning. So I always do blueprints with 3D renderings, all of that. And then it depends if they want me to pick products with them. Now because we have Instagram and Tech Talk, everybody thinks they're a designer. So a lot of times they're like, let's do a design board together. Here's my plans. I know exactly what I need and they go do it and have me be on, like I call it designer in your pocket where they check in with me and be like, okay, here's what I'm putting together. What do you think? So sometimes we'll do it that way. Sometimes they'll want me for the whole process, but it's really up to them. How they want to do it and what's most supportive for them. As long as they keep checking in, my big thing is like, if you're not gonna do it, if you're gonna do it without me, you're going to places that are gonna try to convince you of things. Are you solid enough to be clear with your design board and who you are to stay true to you? If you are, good. But if you're gonna let yourself be sold, whoa, we're gonna have a budget problem. You're not gonna like the end. So that's kind of where I talk to them. Like let's figure out what's most helpful for you. And are you finding that most of your client and your work, are they remote or are they in town and you're very hands on? Well, so I got remarried three years ago and moved. Congratulations. Yeah, thanks. So it's been remote a lot. I'd say I've been about, yeah, probably 80% remote, but I've started working with some builders and remodellers now. So I'm going back to 50-50. I like my world to be 50-50, but I go with whatever my life, what's in my life at the moment. So when you're doing remote, you're basically on Zoom with clients and email and phone? I'm on Zoom and email. They almost, all of them, I always go on site, at least once or twice, but I'm not with them every meeting on site. Interesting. So you mentioned you just got remarried and obviously you've gone through a reinvention of your own. How did your own space teach you more about intuitive design with this new phase? Well, in my divorce, I designed and drafted my own home. So I became a realtor in 2009 in the worst financial time in the world. Yeah, that was a bad market. Bad market. I convinced a subdivision that was going under to let me build a house. And if I could sell three lots, they'd give me this construction loan. So I built my own house. So I've, yeah. So I've always lived in my own houses my way. So then I marry a finance guy, moved to a different city, and he has a 1963 house that was built by an engineer, one owner besides him, he bought it in 2017. And he was so proud because it was all beige and wood floors and he probably could done a good job. And I'm all about color. So I was like, okay. So this house has taught me a lot because I believe every house has a story and you have to, you're creating a relationship with the home that was built on land that has a relationship. And then you- Of course. So this house has been weird because like the room I'm in, I keep wanting to add like more earth elements. And so I added like this clay pot because I really want to ground in. I have a lot of fire. And they'll just break in the middle of the night. So like this house is very weird. It has its own mind. So I've had to learn how to work with it and listen. And my husband is completely different than me. So he doesn't understand this listen. He's the guy that's like, just tell me the budget and make sure it's not very good. And so I was like, I did all these decimals myself. He didn't have any saws. He'd never done construction. I was like, what are you talking about? So it's been an adventure, but I'm figuring it out. That is so cute. I do love all the color and everything like that. How was bringing color into his life? Was that a positive and something he embraced? He doesn't embrace change. Right. And so he didn't want to get rid of any of his stuff. Because so we were combining two households. Right. But I was moving my whole life here and he didn't want to get rid of any of his things. And I was like, dude, like, it's not really gonna work. Like, so we kind of, this is my room, but this is like my old dining room table. It's a big quartz top I put on a coffee table. So I really had to reinvent my pieces. And I had to really help him get, let go of things. And what I really got clear with him because he has a Syrian and Lebanese heritage, there's a lot in his heritage line of being refugees. Wow. So there's his scarcity. Yeah. Well, because his grandma came here as a refugee, that's not that far from him. Right. And so it's much closer than my family who's been here a lot longer and didn't come for the same reasons. So I've really had to help. His dad's been great. He's 89. His aunt is just like him. So it's really interesting. So it's been interesting to help heal that, like understand like, how do you go from scarcity to abundance? You don't let things go if you don't think there'll be enough. And in a world right now where we're hearing words about recessions and things like that, scarcity will come up for all of us, right? This uncertainty, like, well, there'll be enough. What's gonna happen? And that's usually when scarcity comes in. So that's when I think of your client that's trying to move forward and make the home they want, but then they don't wanna let anything go. I'm like, oh, like, you know, that's kinda how the world feels at the moment. So what is certain for them? Are they certain they wanna have a different outcome? Maybe they're not certain, right? Like, and once you give people the choice, they're like, well, of course I want a different outcome. Okay, are you willing to do the work for that outcome? Which means, you know, redesign. So there's probably a lot of people who are listening and watching this podcast who are unhappy with the energy or the feeling in a room or multiple rooms in the house at this moment. What challenge or 24 hour challenge would you give them for the room or the house? I would tell them the first thing they wanna do is figure out their energies, juicers and zappers. If they don't love it, put it in a box. I'm not telling you you have to get rid of it this minute, but put it in a box, put it in your trunk, your garage, your basement, get rid of it out of that room. Let it breathe, meaning open the doors, open the windows, get air flow in, even light a candle. Right. Fire is an activator. And then just kind of set with it for a minute, like leave it for an hour or two and come back. After the windows have been open, you've lit a candle, like you've let things flow. And then really ask, what is it I want this room to do for me? What's the function and how do I want it to feel? And when you get really clear on, like if it was this room, I want this room to function as an office and a gathering space. I want this room to feel inspiring. So now anything that's not inspiring, it's not about gathering or being productive. It has to go, right? Gives a lot easier. So now I'll put more in the box. Now I'll go, leave again. Come back an hour later and go, okay, so now what do I want to add that would make me so inspired? Get me excited. Now you add in like that. So that's usually how I work with people because you can't, it's kind of like if you ever were dating all the wrong people, if you're with the wrong person, the right person can't find you, right? Right, right, right. Good analogy. So it's like that in design. It's kind of like when you're on a diet and they're like, if you like something crunchy, celery instead of the chips, it's like that. Like you got that one. You gotta have a set of. So you're explaining that and I'm thinking to myself, in our house, Tiffany, there are four things in all living room that need to go in the garage or they won't fit in the box. But I think. Yeah, what do you do when things don't fit in a box? That's when you have to have the pot outside or you put it in the garage or you just have to move it out of the room. You honestly can't see what you can't see when something's in the space. I totally. If that makes sense. I'll tell you a little story. Two weeks ago, we went and visited a friend of ours and my wife and I and our three kids, we were so excited to go see her home because it's 522 years old. And we went to this home and we would just, Tiffany, like you have said, Tiffany's probably done over 400 or so homes herself in the 25 years, so many. But the feeling walking into that house, it wasn't a big house, it was a small cottage, but walking through it, realizing and feeling that 522 years ago, this house was made. That's twice as old as the United States is. It was before I think Christopher Columbus discovered America, the house was built. I know, I was like, this wasn't America? No, this was in England. No, no, it's in England. Okay, so that makes more sense. And the feeling in the house, we were all, we sat down and she gave us some candy and some things that she had made. But just the feeling of sitting in the house because of the age and looking at it was an amazing kind of, we were all like dumbfounded, but excited about being in this house and the feeling in it. Europe is so amazing like that. I had that same experience in Europe getting to go into the homes. They have so much history. Yes. Right. And I have such an appreciation for it and I love bringing that mentality to our projects as well. I mean, I'm actually more about adding and changing things around, obviously getting rid of things that are not serving you makes perfect sense. But I definitely love the things that tell a story. And I feel like those are important not to lose. And sometimes here in the United States, especially South Florida with some of these super modern track home style, you lose sight of all that detail. And sometimes, you know, the detail is- Crown molding. Yeah. It's very special. All of the layers. Those layers are special. What's interesting is that, it's interesting is that I know that Tiffany for some clients, a few clients I've seen over the years has hired or the client has hired organizers to help and they come in and I've been there once or twice maybe three times with his organizers are coming in. And in no way are they using the philosophies and what you're talking about, which would make so much sense. Yeah. So I'm with you. I like more things. I like maximum. I'm a maximalist, yeah, for sure. Yeah. But I want everything. I also think in that world, I have to be more- Intentional. The bait better. Yeah. Meaning the little gold frame you see up there, that was something that I got from my father-in-law. So I was like, oh, I really love this and I want it to go up. So it has to go in a place. And I was like, what's one thing that feels like it's had its time? So I took that down and I sent it to a friend that I knew loved it, right? So I still feel like I try to not, I don't want anything in a closet not getting seen or loved. Makes sense. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. I'm fine with our winter stuffing in the closet. I'm fine with, you know, it's seasonal, it's going to come out again. But something I don't use in a whole year, I feel like I misused it. Like somebody's going to love it. Why am I hiding it? Right. Makes perfect sense. Perfect sense. How do you get people to recognize clutter versus, you know, like I'm talking about piles of mail, piles of stuff that just needs to go. My hardest is when they have attention deficit of any kind. So if you have any neuro divergencies, yes. Odds that a horizontal surface is full of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So that's so interesting. So I, there, I tend to have quite a few of those clients and I want to help them get things vertical and not have horizontal surfaces. They can set things on too much. I try to make their horizontal surfaces smaller. You know, like I'm trying to help them because their brain thinks, oh, there's a surface just to put it on it. Like their brain can't go three steps forward. It's how they're made. So then I try to create vertical type of things that can still look artistic, but it has to be clear because if I make a beautiful basket and they can't see in it, they won't, it just does the same thing the horizontal did. So it's really helping people understand how does their brain work? How do they need their home to work? And how do we figure this out together? And it's a trial and error. We got to play with it. Let's play with this. Let's play with that. How did that work? Okay. How did that work? Oh, well, that's really, really fun. I think what you're bringing out to light about this intuitive design is really such an important philosophy that I think some of us are doing, but not even recognizing we're doing. So I appreciate this conversation so much, highlighting. Like we need to be intentional with everything. And our home is our foundation a lot of the times. So. So for people who are listening and watching the podcast, how do they find your book? They can go to Amazon. It's on Amazon, finding my way home. They can also go to my website, adesigndiscovery.com, and it's also there. And are you, I know you're on Instagram. So do you want to share Instagram and any other possible ways that people can follow you? Yep, I'm on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram. As a net far haul, so I'm pretty easy to find. Well, thank you so much for joining us today on iDesign Lab. We really appreciate this conversation. I was very enlightened. And I love looking at your beautiful, colorful background. It makes me feel inspired. So I hope you feel inspired too. Thank you so much. This was a great conversation. I really appreciate you having me. Thank you for joining us. Have a great day. You too. iDesign Labs podcast is an SW group production in association with the five star and TW interiors. To learn more about iDesign Lab or TW interiors, please visit twinteriors.com.