Sally Field | First Drafts with Evie

-♪ Buzzing music plays Thank you very much, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome one and all to the late show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. I want to start off tonight. -♪ Buzzing music plays First of all, happy 6-0 to Mayo, to all who celebrate. We all may have something to celebrate soon because according to White House officials, the U.S. and Iran are closing in on an end to the war. Well, all right. -♪ Buzzing music plays There you have it. At last, an end to the conflict. And to commemorate it, I will now release the ceremonial Dove of Peace. -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays There it goes. -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays -♪ Buzzing music plays Send us a postcard from Tehran. -♪ Buzzing music plays That's all because, reportedly, Trump is ready to sign a one-page memorandum of understanding that sets a framework for a more detailed nuclear negotiations later. So it's a single sheet of paper, which is a letter of intent to eventually outline the idea of what you might agree to some other time. -♪ Buzzing music plays Mr. President, does this mean you have a peace plan? I have concepts of a plan. -♪ Buzzing music plays Okay, that's close enough. That's something. It's something. It's something. -♪ Buzzing music plays The bullet points of this single sheet are included, moratorium on nuclear enrichment for the Iranians, the U.S. lifting of its sanction, and both sides lifting restrictions around transit through the Strait of Hormuz. So exactly what was happening before. -♪ Buzzing music plays I think I might have a case of Deja Hormuz. -♪ Buzzing music plays Buzzing music plays Just like this war. Oh, I see. -♪ Buzzing music plays Hey! Bury a going through a lot right now. Me too. Yeah, me too, fella. So that's it. War over, except we don't really know who's calling the shots in Iran right now. And some of the Iranian officials aren't exactly on board with this. In fact, one Iranian spokesperson called it an American wish list, and not a reality, adding Americans will not gain in a lost war what they failed to achieve in face-to-face negotiations. Okay, give me the bird back. Give me the bird back. And I'll take the box. Give me the box, too. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you. There you go. There you go. Now, this war with Iran... Is he okay? Is he okay? He's fine. This war with Iran called Operation Epic Fury is... It's confusing. Yesterday, Secretary of all that in a bag of chips, Marco Rubio, was... He was guest-hosting, and this is true. He was guest-hosting Carolyn Levitt's daily press briefing while she's on maternity leave, so there's another job. And... he explained to the press why this war doesn't need congressional approval. The operation is over. Epic Fury is a president-notified congress. We're done with that stage of it. Fly! You're free again! All right. Thank you. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. There you go. Epic Fury is over. Next came something called Project Freedom that they launched, and you will call that Project Freedom was the operation Trump launched to guide ships through the Strait of Hormuz. Well, last night, Trump halted that military operation in the Strait of Hormuz after one day. No surprise there. The president's just living up to the Trump family motto, when the going gets tough, bye, bitch! The point is... Bye! Hey, you guys like stupid things that infuriate you? Yeah! Well, take a long toke off this. Senate Republicans are now seeking one billion dollars from taxpayers to pay for Trump's ballroom. Okay, okay, okay. I know it's hard to wrap up. I know it's hard to wrap up. I know it's hard to wrap up. I know it's hard to wrap up. I know it's hard to wrap up. I know it's hard to wrap up. Okay, I know it's hard to wrap your head around a billion dollars. Okay, let me put that in layman's terms. That is bull-... because from the start... I got a little something. I got a little something. I got a little something. Because from the whole start of this thing, Trump has had one unwavering promise about his ballroom. We're building one of the greatest ballrooms in the world. By the way, zero money spent by the government. Zero. We have no taxpayer putting up 10 cents. It's all donors. There's not one dime of government money going into the ballroom. It's all donations. Rich people and people are putting up the money. Zero taxpayer dollars. Is that right, Scott? Zero taxpayer dollars. No taxpayer money. Zero. We did this no charge to the taxpayer whatsoever. This was all donations made by friends of mine people that love our country. How ironic. To lie that blatantly takes a lot of balls. And he still hasn't built the room to store them. It's not just ballrooms. Thank you, Hill. Just a quick... Hello? Hello? Hello? Is this on? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? It's not just ballrooms. Yesterday, Trump gave some attention to his latest renovation, resurfacing the bottom of the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool which he is painting a deep blue. Here's an artist's rendering of what it will look like. Looks good. And it stays that color for up to 2,000 flushes. Trump... He loves it. He's very excited about this and he's very poetic about the project. If you go down, if you'd like to see them doing it, on your way back home, take a trip down to the reflecting pond or they call it the reflecting pool. Some people call it the reflecting lake. But the word reflecting is always a part of it. The word reflecting, folks, the word reflecting is always a part of it. They call it a pool, a lake, and a pond. Some call it the freedom puddle. Others... the waiting lake of justice. And some... and some the forest gump Jenny Splash Zone. It's a great place. It's the perfect place. Speaking of which, what a great guy. American hero, new Dick Cavett. A great place for the learning disable to fall in love with someone who later tragically contracts AIDS from a box of chocolates. It's been a while since I've seen the movie. I'm pretty sure that's what his mom always said. What kind of a wish you're gonna get from a box of chocolates? Sometimes it's Nugget. Sometimes it's Caramel. Sometimes it's AIDS. It's a great movie. There's news about... Bill? Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. There's news. Thank you. There's news about Health Secretary an oven-baked red snapper where they leave the eyes in. RFK Junior Recently, we learned that Bobby Junior is changing FDA rules to clear a path for minors to use tanning beds. Well, I mean, that comes as no surprise when you're in a hurry, smokes. But you know the old adage, hurt people hurt people and tan people tan people. Here's the story. It's a long time coming. But I know. I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew it was gonna come. Here's the story. Bobby recently nixed an FDA rule that would have banned minors to sign a form acknowledging the risk of cancer, early skin aging, and other health effects. Instead, under Bobby's rules you'll get a form that asks you to choose Honey Barbecue, Teriyaki, or Sean Penn. Elsewhere, great actor. What an amazing actor. What an amazing actor. One battle after the two. One battle. Unbelievable. Elsewhere in the Food and Drug Administration yesterday? For the first time, the newly-approved flavors include menthol, mango, and blueberry. That's gonna lead to some awkward checkups. Eventually, Mr. Johnson, we had the tumor biopsied. I'm afraid. I'm afraid it's oops all berries. This is a big shift. This is a big shift. This is a big shift. This is a big shift. This is a big shift. This is a big shift. This is a big shift. No. No. I'm sorry. I reject your praise. This is not easy for me. This is a big shift because up till now, the FDA has rejected more than one million fruit, candy, dessert flavored products over public health fears that those flavors are potentially appealing to children. What if they are? Those kids need something to take the edge off after a couple hours in the tanning booth. Also, that was just more I think those regulations were just more nanny state over regulation. Candy flavored vapes are clearly targeted at adults. That's why I'm proud to announce the official vape of the late show, Paw Patrol, Razzleberry, Vapepack for grownups who changed the packaging. They changed the packaging. You gotta give me credit for that. Tan kids Tan kids Huff and Huckleberry menthol death sticks is just part of Trump's overall health agenda. Yesterday, the FDA blocked publication of research finding COVID and shingle vaccines were safe. Here's what's so crazy. If they just let the articles be published, no one would have read them. Why? Just don't talk about it and no one would know. I mean, why would they do this? They're insane in the brain. Okay, there you go. Thank you, doctor. Here's a compromise, maha. If you let us have our vaccines, we promise to vape them. Okay, they can come. They can... They can come in fun flavors like cotton candy COVID, mango MMR and HP vina colada. We got a great show for you tonight. Come on. Coming up, first drafts with Steven and Avi. Music Music Music Music Folks, from other days this Sunday is the day we celebrate all moms, grandmas and yes, even stepmoms. She's nice. She makes dad happy. And hey, she was in your chemistry class. Laughter And Mother's Day means Mother's Day cards and I'd like to show you some in my segment, first drafts. Music No, no, stupid. Music Of course, it wouldn't be Mother's Day without the world's best mom, my wife, Avi. Come on out. Wow. Hi. Wow. Thank you. Wow. Wow, Avi. Thank you. Hi. Hi. Sit, sit, sit. Sit, sit, sit. Hey, hey, hey. That's nice. Wow, you know what? In honor of both that dress and Mother's Day, I just want to say hi-chi-mama. You look amazing. This is Mother's Day extra. Mother's Day, I know what you love on Mother's Day. What did you always get on Mother's Day when we had kids around? Scones or biscuits or something like that? Scones or bring up scones for you. And a cup of coffee. Oh, yeah. And the New York Times. All right, I'll see you later. Yes. There you go. All right. Listen, honey, this is very special. This is first drafts, but it's the final draft of first drafts. All right, fine. This is the last of the first drafts that we're going to do. This has been fun. I have had a very good time. It has been such a blast. Thank you so much for doing these. Six years of damage. What a nice discovery. It's been really fun. Love a nice outfit. Really, really fun. Thank you. Well, darling, let's do the thing. I'll show you the first draft. I'll show you the first draft. And then I'll show them the not so great first draft of that same card. And if you could hand me the cards in the proper order. There's no sweet to act like they need to know. They may not understand. This might be, you know, English as their second language or something. Okay, here's a sweet card. There's no bond like the one between mother and child. I'll always be close to you, mom. Happy Mother's Day. That's lovely. There's no bond like the one between mother and child. Except for Flex Seal. That guy made a whole boat out of it. I love some. For Father's Day. What is Flex Seal? What is Flex Seal? You don't know what Flex Seal is? You know how everybody's got giant tanks of water, clear tanks of water in their house and water's pouring out of it. You can just take a piece of it and go Whack. And you get rid of the seals. Okay, okay. I think this is a good time. I think we need, so it's been, you know, 21 years. That I've been doing a late night show, yeah. And you've been obsessed with your job. We're gonna have a lot of time, and I think we need to establish some ground rules. I actually think... Well, like what? Well, I think you need to... Keep in mind, I have an editor. What is the ground rule? Okay, so first of all, I think we need to reacquaint you with social interaction, with people in the real world. Like what? I talk to people. Well, that's kind of the problem. Not everybody wants to talk about song lyrics when you run in to get a bottle of wine. Like, you know, you might just... Dude, the girl at the wine store talked to you about this? Well, I mean... Okay, I've got a ground rule, too. Okay, what is it? I'm not gonna have like 200 people to listen to my stories. Well, this is what I'm afraid of. You have to pretend like you don't know my stories. Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah. But 34 years of hearing your stories, I'm just... I mean, okay. Did everybody tell you how I got deaf in one ear? Can I have that, please? You want to hear my favorite poem? Give me that. Give me the next thing. No, that's another thing. What? You can't just recite poetry to strangers. I just don't think they're gonna love that. You have to... You know, they're not like your staff who go, thank you, that's beautiful. But age cannot wither nor custom-stale my infinite variety. Give me that. Oh, it's gonna be a rocky summer. It's gonna be a rough summer. Okay. Here's a cute one to the best mom ever. I love you very much. Sweet. That is really nice. Very sweet. But the first draft said, to the best mom ever, I dropped acid. Is the strawberry still watching? Don't do it, kids. That's not good. Don't do it, kids. Or don't tell your mother if you do it, for sure. Exactly. Yeah. What do you want for Mother's Day? Nothing. We're just gonna go have brunch with our kids. That's wonderful. So no presents. You don't need presents. No, I don't need presents. Tell the people what your dad used to say about Mother's Day presents. He said, I'm... What do you say? You said, why don't you get mom something? And he said, she's not my mother. Yeah. Which is true. I'm not your mother. You're not. But if I didn't get you anything, how would you feel? Well, I've gotten used to it now. Okay, give me that. She means she's used to the presents, my friend. Signaling ships. Okay. Do you want to tell them the signalling ship story? No, you tell them. That's your favorite story. My favorite story. I know this story as we... So it's Don Rickles, actually. It was... I was nominated for Best Host one year up against Don Rickles. Don won, God bless him. And so Don gets up there and starts talking about his wife. So they've been married for like 60 years at that point. And Don gets up there and talks about his wife, who had been the secretary, the assistant to the manager he wanted, like that. And he couldn't get in with the guy. So he would call every day and just do shtick to her. And his shtick was, of course, was always kind of like a music. And, you know... Music? Well, like, Rickles was very tough. His jokes were very, like, tough. And she would... She said to him, no one wants to hear a smart aleck. That's what she said to him. And he goes, of course, now she's sitting on the beach in Malibu signaling ships, meaning all the jewelry that she wears that he's over. And we were at the Emmys that night and you had something nice on, you lifted up and you went, there you go. Because when we met, no one wanted to talk to this smart aleck. What smart aleck? This one. What do you mean? I made $8,000 a year when you met me. But people still wanted to talk to you. What? People just didn't want to pay you. They did. I'll talk to you. I'll talk to you for free. He's got full circle. Oh, you know. Oh, my goodness. Oh, well. You're hosting the next one. All right. Here's a card that says, the greatest feeling in the world is a hug from your mom. Happy Mother's Day. That is the damn truth right there. But the first draft said, the greatest feeling in the world is the first time you try crack. Just be honest. Don't do it, kids. Don't crack his whack. Last one, baby. This is the last card. Don't mix up which one's which, please. Did you just give me the skim? No, I control it now. You control it? You have to make sure you're giving me the straight one, the bad one, the straight one first. I got the good one here. The good one first. Okay, and that's the bad one. I got the bad one. Well, this is the last first draft. I just want to say thank you. It's been fun. Thank you for letting me be a part of this. All right. And I also want to say, what? I also want to say you have the most incredibly wonderful staff. They're so nice to me. I love them. There you go, baby. All right. Here's a fun one. It says, mom, chauffeur, tutor, nurse, therapist, cheerleader, short-order cook, administrator, accountant. Being a mom is a big job. Thank you for all you do. Oh, God, that makes me cry. That's a great one. That's beautiful. But the first draft said, mom, chauffeur, tutor, nurse, therapist, cheerleader, short-order cook, administrator, accountant. Just tell me which one is my dad. Every McGee, everybody. Coming up, Sally Field. Hey, everybody. Welcome back. Thank you, friends. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is a legendary Oscar winner. And I'm going to be the first to see you. I'm going to be the first to see you. I'm going to be the first to see you. I'm going to be the first to see you. I'm going to be the first to see you. I'm going to be the first to see you. I'm going to be the first to see you. I'm going to be the first to see you. I'm going to be the first to see you. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is a legendary Oscar and Emmy Award-winning actor you know from Forrest Gump, Steele Magnolia's Mrs. Doubtfire, and so much more. She now stars in remarkably bright creatures. You can't just read people's text messages. Is that Avery from the panel? Or Shaw? Yes. Yeah. Are the two of you dating? No, no. We're just, we're texting. I mean, barely. I'm just playing it cool. Whatever that means. How do you want me to respond? I don't want you to respond. I'm going to text her tomorrow. I have to phone now. What? If you have any hope of ever dating someone like Avery, you have to take her seriously. I do take her seriously. It's called flirting. I'm flirting. Flirting? What is flirting? It's flirting is nothing. It's words and eyes and everything that matters takes time and effort. Okay. Okay. What is that? What? You're calling her. No, I'm not. You're, Tova, hang up the phone right now. I didn't call her. Yes, you're calling her right now. I did not. Hang up the phone. Tova. No, no. Hello, Avery. Yes, did I call you and did you call me? Please welcome back to the late show, Sally Field. Thank you for being here. Look what you did to my glass. Sally Field. Yeah. So wonderful to see you again. So good to see you again. So it's the last time I saw you. Yeah. You received the SAG Lifetime Achievement Award. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You said something. You said something that struck me when I read it. You said in the speech, quote, acting to me is about finding those precious moments. When I feel too much pressure, I feel like I'm going to be in a bad mood. Acting to me is about finding those precious moments when I feel totally utterly sometimes dangerously alive. I love that idea. Can you tell me about a time early on when you were hooked by that feeling about being dangerously alive? Well, yeah. I was born in 1946 just to name names here. Okay. So I was raised in the 50s, and little girls in the 50s weren't allowed to feel anything or do anything. They just sit and be like this, you know, and you couldn't, you know, you had to sit with your legs like this and you'd be really nice and good, except I wasn't like that inside. I wasn't like that inside at all. I was filled with all sorts of things that were not acceptable whatsoever. And then I found the stage when I was 12 in the seventh grade, and it was a scene. I wasn't right for the scene, but I did it for the first time. I could finally hear my own voice. I could hear my own voice and I could be all the things I really was. I could be mean. I could be angry. I could do really awful things to people. This sounds like the origin story of a serial killer or a great actress. One of the fine lines. If I hadn't found the stage, that might have been me. It reminds me of this great quote. I think it's from Carl Walenda, which is, to be on the wire is life. All else is waiting. Oh, how great. How great. How great. Yeah. Yeah, leap after leap in the dark. Right, right. So let's talk about some of these. You also describe screenplays sometimes. You've read screenplays in your past. So good that my hands shook the first time I read them. Yeah. What made your hands shake? Give me some examples. Well, gosh. Well, first one that my hands shook was Sibyl, first time I read Sibyl. I mean, I mean, I'm like, oh, this is so good. This dialogue is so good. Or, oh, look at the challenge that I have ahead of me. It was that I didn't have it yet. Oh. And damn, I was going to get it. Wow. Yeah. And so it was just the magnitude of this craft that I had in my hands. I was going to get this or die trying. And luckily I got it and got to keep going. Otherwise, who knows? Speaking of your great filmography, here's the, here you are with Robin Williams, Mrs. Doubtfire. Was he always cracking people up on set? Yeah, he was. Everybody would, everybody would laugh. Everybody would like break in a scene? Yeah. Absolutely. It drove, it drove him mad, actually, because I would never laugh, ever. And everybody else was laughing and carrying out with me. You were too professional for that. I would, it wasn't funny. I would just, it just wasn't funny. You stand your ground. And then once we were at the tail end of the picture, and Robin was always trying something different to make me laugh. It was so unfunny, I can't begin to tell you. And then, Pierce, wonderful Pierce Brosnan, who was sitting at the table at the restaurant, and he made a fart noise on his arm, and I was gone. That was it. That was it. How did Robin take that? He said, that's all it took. I mean, I had to leave for a minute. I laughed so hard they had to redo my makeup. Wow. Wow. I love it. Yeah. We have to take a quick break, Sally. But don't go anywhere. We're right back with more Sally Field, everybody. That's pigeon. That's Sally Field. It is. It is. Now, you won your first Oscar in 1980. Norma Ray. Um, 1980. 1980. 1980. 1980. Okay. And that's about a mill worker who organizes the other factory workers. Haven't you seen it? Of course I have. I'm telling you that. I'm reminding everybody. Yeah. Union. Union. Yes, that's it. That's it. It's actually relevant today just to standing up. It is. Did that movie, like, awakening you some sort of, I know the activism is still engaged in today. Did that inform that? Yeah. Be heard. Whatever it takes, get out on the streets. Be heard. It's the first amendment. You know? You heard it. The freedom of speech, the freedom of the press. Yeah. Freedom to practice religion or freedom thereof from it? Yeah. Or peacefully assemble without fear of persecution or prosecution or retribution. Yes. Part of all those things. We first, uh, we've, uh, many people first got to know you. Uh, oh my God. Gidget. Okay. Now, forgive me. Yeah. This is my Sally Field blind spot. What? I never, I've never seen Gidget. What? But I know all about Gidget. I've seen the photos. A doorbell is what you were. What, tell me who Gidget was. Oh, for goodness sakes. What planet have you been on? Did she fight crime? What did Gidget do? Yes. She was a crime fighter. Yes. Well, in a way, she was kind of a tomboy because all the other girls were like, blah, blah, boom, tall and, and she just wasn't. So she learned to surf with the boys because they let her in. Did you have to learn to surf? Um, in, in a way, yes, I had to go out all the time with this, this kind of semi cute guy. He's probably still alive and I don't want to say it was just semi, maybe it was just gorgeous. That's all right. You can say his name. Kurt Russell. Oh, that it were. That would have been fine. Oh, yeah. Now you're now starring in the new film, remarkably bright creatures. I am. Yeah. Based on the best selling book, what was it like to work alongside your costar? Here we go. The costar is Marcellus the octopus. Yep. Right there. Yep. Tell me about, tell me about your relationship with, uh, Honestly, I think, I think Marcellus was one of the best leading men I have ever worked with. Yep. Yep. Truly, truly, truly. He was there sometimes. But lots of them. What? Lots of them I've worked with were only there periodically, even though they were there all the time. Yes. Yeah. And he was, you know, it's a, it's a great, it's a lovely, lovely story, something we need right now about healing and love and family and our profound connection to creatures. Humans have a profound connection to creatures. You have a profound connection to a creature. Tell me about this creature right here. Oh God. Who's this fellow? I didn't know you would do that. Yeah. Who's that? Okay. So, uh, in 2019, I've been just working a lot. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go home. Something I guess you'll be doing a lot of. Sorry, I just had to say. Yeah. I didn't want to bring that up. Evie's really worried. I know. But you know, I could come over. I'll do anything. I'll wash your car. Oh, that's a good one. Just give me a call. That'd be great. I'll be there. I will. I will. I promise I will. Great. Yeah. Great. Anyway, so I wanted to go. And I was, I was still not in, at a home. I was at DC where I'd had to do some events and things. And I just went online and found this lady who, who, who breathes these little puppies. So, um, two months later, because he was a little newborn baby then, two months later, I drove out to Bakersfield and got this little, um, it was eight weeks old. He weighed six pounds and drove him home. And three weeks later, we were in shutdown with the COVID. Oh. Well, yeah. So it was. That's bonding time. Yeah, that's bonding time. So it was just he and I for months and months, my grandkids would drive by and wave, hi, Grammy. Cause nobody, I was older. Nobody could come in or get near me except him. And that's bonding. And I'd never had a real connection with a creature. Tell me what's his name. His name is Dashel Hammett. He's a crime fighter. Like, did you? Yeah. Sally. Yeah. How delightful to see you again. Thank you so much for being here. I've so enjoyed talking to you over the years. Portacom. Portacom, wherever you go, I will follow. I'll follow you too. Remarkably bright creatures is on Netflix this Friday. It's Sally Field, everybody. Thank you for listening to the Late Show Pod Show with Steve and Colbert. Just one more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to the Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and exclusives. I would don't see how anyone can look at this story and think they were happy. Binge the full series, Blood is Thicker, the Ferris Wheel, on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts.