From Record-Breaking Running Back to Rock Bottom — Montee Ball’s Comeback

You weren't just some guy, you were the guy, and then you got into the NFL. Okay, and I'm looking at this, I'm like this doesn't make sense. He was loaded so bad that he couldn't get together. Well, you handed the 21-year-old, 22-year-old some money. Of course, I spent that on the bottle. If someone has a problem with substance use disorder, please call one call placement. That's 888-831-1581. And if we can't help you, we'll make a referral to someone who can. One call placement is affiliated with Carrera treatment, wellness, and spa, and one method treatment centers. Today I have a special guest, one of the greatest college running backs of all time. Monty Ball, nice to have you, man. Yes, sir, thank you for having me. What a pleasure. This is a privilege, so thank you. Ah, privilege is online. I'm going to give the viewers a little background. Of course. Okay. So, from Missouri. Yes, sir. Where'd you play high school? Yeah, at Timberler High School, Winsville, Winsville, Missouri. And what was the process like after high school with the recruiting? Yeah, it was, when I share this, it was fast. It happened so quickly. Those four years in high school were blur, but I most definitely remember my junior year. So this would have been 2007. 2007, 2008, in Winsville, Missouri, receiving, you know, full-right scholarships in the mail. I narrowed them down between Iowa, Wisconsin, and Stanford, actually. Really? And then I narrowed it between Stanford and Wisconsin. And you're the only person to ever choose Wisconsin over Stanford. Yeah, it was, I didn't want to be too far from home from the Midwest at the time, right? That, you know, a little kid, not knowing so much about Caldys. Not knowing much about Stanford as well. I remember Harball called my house line, chatted with him, but long story short, that process was a beautiful one, an exciting time for myself and my family as well. Was the draft then and the rankings, you know, like the ESPN, 300 rankings and all that stuff. But then they go to the mock drafts. You were drafted in the second round. And I was in shock. I was in shock. I used to watch the draft like religion. It would be a what, three day affair, right? First, yeah, I think first day is first round, then second day is two, the four. Two, yeah, two, the four. And then you're right, five through seven, right? And I was in shock. What did that feel like to you after having the last two years that were as good as anybody's ever had? And then you're like second round. Were you prepared for that? Did your agent prepare you for that? Was that, I mean, what was that like? Yeah, it was again, it's, it's leading up to that moment, of course, same, right? Right after high school, I obviously chose, I signed the letter of intent to be a badger, went up to Wisconsin. You know, I wanted to be as good or better than Rondane. That was my motivation, right? I loved the way that they ran the football. I loved the atmosphere, the campus, to the fans, the education as well. And so once I hit my junior year, same thing, the same thing, right? In college, which had been 2011, we landed Russell Wilson that year. We were on fire. You, you had Russell Wilson that year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I played with J.J. Watt, I played with the Watt brothers. Wow. Russell Wilson, we were rock stars. We were in third in the country. That's insane. A blessing for sure, just to be next to those greats. And so then, yeah, same thing, right? Obviously not receiving full write scholarships at this moment in 2011. I had my agent who was getting calls because in 2011, after three years of playing college football, you have the opportunity to go on to the next level. Well, I decided to stay and hindsight, I would change that. But I stayed for 2012 season. And, you know, 2011 actually was the year I was up for the Heisman. They flew me out to New York. I had the opportunity to meet up with Robert Griffin. The third Andrew Luck, all these great guys. And so to your point, yeah, a phenomenal year decided to come back. I had a great year as well. And then, yeah, my agent did prep me for the draft, sharing with me that, hey, it's a pretty deep class running backs. Eddie Lacey, Lavy on Bell, G. Ivani Bernard, a lot of great running backs. And so I knew that I wasn't going to go first round. I kind of felt that rented out a banquet hall in Madison, Wisconsin didn't want to go to New York because I can only get like one or two guests. Right. It's like, let me, let me, I want family and friends to enjoy themselves here with this moment. And so first round, I kind of was just sitting there. I was like, hey, I'm not going to get, probably not going to get a call today, you know, family and friends. And then obviously the following day, right, came about in my agent was like, okay, today you're most likely going to get picked. And, you know, I'm sitting there playing with a Rubik's Cube at the moment because I'm just super anxious, right? You know, my family and friends are having to get on. Yeah, that's right. You didn't make it in the NFL. I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. And so to make a log story short here, it's literally I'm sitting there playing with this Rubik's Cube. My phone's propped up against the glass of water. I'm nervous, everyone's having a good time. And I see these backs getting called and picked. And I'm like, goodness gracious, you know, where am I going to live right now? It's right out of the 50 states or wherever these teams are, these 32 teams, whatever. And my phone falls because I started to vibrate. And I pick it up and it's a 303 number and it says Denver, Colorado. And I jumped up. I started hitting my dad and I answered the phone and was John O'Way. I asked him if I wanted to be a Bronco. Wow. The first question he should have asked you is, why didn't you go to Stanford? Right, seriously. But I didn't know you were playing with all those guys. So you made the right choice. It was, we were playing some really good football. And honestly, I don't think, you know, I grew up a Broncos fan from Missouri. My room was blowing orange my entire life until, of course, I took off to college. I had a Bronco's head in my room at Tural Davis blow up in my room. What a great, what a, what a star he was. Right. Two, two, yeah, two in a row. They'd have nothing without him. And they were thinking about, oh, is he a Hall of Famer? More on. More on. More on. So, you know, again, that, those four years went by quick as well. Love them, decided to stay for my senior year. And I think, if I didn't, I wouldn't have been chosen by the Broncos. It just wouldn't have fallen into place like that. And so I accomplished my dream. That's fantastic. What was it like to walk in to the Denver Broncos? And know that you are playing with Peyton Maddie. Mm-hmm. I mean, come on, man. It's that night when they called my name. You know, of course, I'm 21. I just turned, no, I'm 22 at the time. And, you know, I go out later in the evening once my family goes to sleep. And I'm at the bar. And I get a text from this number. Long text looking forward to having you on the team. Looking forward to winning a championship with you. Congratulations, et cetera, et cetera, at the end of said Peyton Maddie. And I'm, you know, I'm 22 years old. I'm like, oh, my Peyton Maddie just texted me. And so when they, when it was time to, of course, for tourport to the facility, I was star struck, right? Me and a lot of these guys, Juan Miller, Chris Harris, a lot of these greats, these Hall of Famers, but of course, right, as a kid. And those Peyton Manning. And so when he came around the corner, love the guy to death, I would say this part, his forehead came around the corner first. And that's tall. He is, he is like six five genius, by the way, too, of the game with football. But I was star struck, right? I literally told him, I was like, I was 11 years old. I was 12 playing you on Madden. Always wanting to be a Bronco in my life. You land with the Broncos after the cold synonymous here. Here I am playing with you. I don't even watch the cult anymore because they were just loyal to him. I won't even, I won't even, I won't even watch. I love the Broncos like you would even believe. Really? Oh, God. Are you kidding me? That was, first of all, I don't love teams. I love players. Okay. Okay. So I never missed a cult's game, never. Not ever. Okay, when Peyton played, never. Right? And then, you know, he had his next surgery and he was out for an entire year. And they thought it was a good idea to upgrade. Now, Andrew Luck was great. Mm-hmm. Andrew Luck's a star player. Okay. His story is similar to yours in that it ended too soon. But that was his choice. Right. Right. And what I want to talk about is you had it all. Mm-hmm. People in AA, you'll go to AA, you'll listen at the podium and people talk about losing it all. Not really. You lost it all. All of it. All of it. All of it. You were, try to understand, I got to explain for the viewers. They don't really fully understand. This was the best running back in college football. Not one year, two years in a row. Not close and no debate. Right. Then you go to play with Demarious Thomas, Peyton Manning. Who the hell else was the, who else was receiving for them? Eric Decker. Eric Decker. Who else? Julie's Thomas, Tyden. Julie's Thomas, Tyden, who is the other Tyden. Another one. Virgil Green. He was more of a blocking Tyden. A long story short, that was Peyton Manning's MVP year. One of his MVP years, 55 touchdowns. And 10, 10, uh, interceptions? On real year. 55, uh, 54, uh, 54. 54, uh, 54. I think it still leads, uh, the NFL in most passing hours of one season. Oh, I think he's got breeze by like four yards. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Dude, who is the best quarterback of all time? Mm-hmm. So after the Broncos, I went to the Pats for a quick minute. So you played with both? Yes. And, and of course, when I went over there, uh, I got by the name of James White, who was the running back there. We were roommates in college. Very cool. These are badger as well. So we were literally roommates. I was like, okay, I'll go there. Um, and of course, it's Tom Brady. And he was Michigan, we were Wisconsin. So we were just chatting big tin football at time. But if I had to choose a quarterback, gosh. If I had to build my, my team, I am so grateful to have played with Peyton Manning. And I love that he's a brilliant mind. Um, I'm going Brady. I'm going Tom Brady. Really? Yeah. I'm going Tom Brady. And I think he's like Tom Brady. I think he tell you Peyton Manning. Right. And that's why I don't think there's a wrong answer. I mean, these guys were, these guys are anomalies at what they were great at. Peyton Manning, pretty snapped. There's no one like him. Genius. Absolute genius. That was the most stressful part about playing with him is trying to keep up with his mind. It's impossible. Pretty snap. Brady does such a great job of making players feel comfortable and telling them not to play outside of their shoes. We brought you here for a reason. You have a skill set that we can, we can utilize. Just a great. And then that killer instinct as well. We did so. That is so amazing. You played with two of the greatest quarterbacks in history. Like those two guys are on Mount Rushmore for quarterbacks. Absolutely. And you played for both of them. And then there's just Joe Montana and just, well, he's the best. I know. Okay. In my mind, that's the best of all time. Okay. But, you know, he goes away and then you got to, you know, you need something. That is amazing that you played with those two guys. I'm just, I think it's, you know, I know we're going to eventually get to this point. And, you know, we're chatting about, oh, we're going to do it all. You know, throwing it away and it, it's a, you know, let me not get ahead of myself here. No, well, let me tell you why I'm bringing it up. Yeah. It's going to be a fan boy, but I am a fan boy because I love the NFL. I love the NFL until I went down and testified at the NFL and saw that it was, it was a modern day lynching on a client of mine. Okay. And they had the Uncle Tom, the only black guy in the room named Henderson. Okay. Sitting there, doing my boy. Okay. And I just did that whole room. I did that whole room for you. Okay. And then I got up and I gave my boy a hug and a kiss and I said, don't worry, I'll take care of this. And he ended up getting six games back. They took 16 games from him and we ended up getting them back six games. All right. Okay. But I am a fan of this. But it's because I'm a fan of this that I know what you lost. And to paint a picture for the viewers, you weren't just some guy. You were the guy. And then you got into the NFL. Okay. And I'm looking at this. I'm like, this doesn't make sense. It does? This doesn't make sense. He was fucked up. He was loaded so bad that he couldn't get together and lost it all. Tell me about that. You know, it's it was. I think in order to answer that question, we got to chat a little bit just really quickly about how it was developing that relationship with the bottle in college. Yes. I strengthened that relationship in 2011, which was my best year on the field. That's the year I tied Barry Sanders, touchdown record in the season. And I was actually having my worst year off the field. Isolation. And in nutshell, this performance anxiety was crushing me before the games. Before the games to even after the games to practices, right, just this performance of having to continue to perform at such a high level and not having an outlet. At least I felt that way. My outlet was the bottle. And also for me, it was tough because my family loved them to death. I'm extremely close with my parents and my sisters. They moved up to Madison, Wisconsin, my freshman year in college. They quit their jobs, sold their home. And so I also had this familiar pressure of, you know, I had no choice. I have to succeed. I have to. Even though I know for a fact they would have said, you know, you can go do something else if you want. You don't care. But, you know, I felt they made such a significant sacrifice that I have no choice. They just wanted to be with their boy. Of course, of course. But, you know, in the press and will stage in my life, 16, 17, 18 or whatever it was, I went towards the most accessible option, which was alcohol at the time. And so I really started to develop that relationship then. And fast forward to getting drafted by my favorite team. It was like, hey, mom and dad see nothing's wrong with me. I'm accomplishing my dreams. This feedback loop of you're doing fine, you're fine, you're fine because you're literally still accomplishing your dreams. Not paying attention, of course, to how I'm taking care of my body or the lack thereof, off the field. Well, you handed 21-year-old, 22-year-old some money. You know, 40 bucks is what I had my bank account when I got drafted. Or before the call and after the call, X amount of dollars, I can go anywhere on the planet. Of course, I spent that on the bottom, literally packed up my luggage with my clothes and alcohol. It took off to Denver, Colorado and in this process of playing for my favorite team, my ego swelled up as well. And so when we talk about losing at all, you've mentioned that a couple times and I'm very quick to say yes because there is zero ambiguity there whatsoever. That is exactly what happened. Because once I played in the Super Bowl my rookie year, side by side with paid manning to come back for 2014, I tear my growing week four. I'm not taking care of my body. I then tried to rush to get back by a year two. Yes, sir. By year two in 2014, yeah, tear my growing and then St. Louis Rams when they're in St. Louis' on the schedule on week 11 or week 12. So of course, where I'm from, I'm trying to rush back through PT to get back to that. I tear it second play of the game. And so my career literally started and Missouri and ended there because that was my last like real football game. But what happened was come year three 2015, I'm released prior to the season. I then go go back to Madison, Wisconsin. This is my first ever fall in years of not having shoulder pads on our helmet. I drank more. I was that time that I had the free time. I was declining phone calls from the jets, the bears, my agent, and I was drinking. And of course, at this point, right, I completely fell victim to the bottle. I was gone. Completely just immersed in partying five, six days a week to the fullest of drinking heavily, spending and unhealthy amounts of money. Money that I most definitely would love to have now that I was just blowing and developed some unhealthy relationships as well. I wasn't taking care of my body. I didn't like myself. I sort of started to see that door closing with the Broncos. And so I began to become angry at everybody else with myself. I couldn't face the music that I did this. Yes, there is an addiction that was at play, but there were times when I could have opened up. And I wish I did. And so, of course, to the tough part of the story, you know, those frustrations that I had that I that I couldn't look myself in the mirror and correct. I, of course, took them out on someone very close to me. What happened there? Yeah, at the time my partner, we had a hotel. She wanted to do something special for me at a hotel. And I get a text from one of my guy friends that this bar is having an open bar. I'm like, well, I got to go to this open bar to open bar in Madison. I'm going. Of course, she wasn't too happy about that. It's fast forward to finally stumbling back into the hotel at 3 a.m. She's upset with me, of course, we're exchanging some hurtful words. Of course, it's all a blur. To me, I'm completely just drunk, blacked out drunk. And what occurred, of course, was something almost definitely not brought up. I'm trying to leave to go to a different hotel because at the time I'm like, okay, this is not going to work. I'm trying to go to sleep. I'm drunk. I want to go to bed. And she, of course, rightfully so wanted to get her words out because I heard her emotionally at the time. But what occurred was I jumped her away from me pretty aggressively. And she injured her leg on a desk and cowardly mom say at the time, didn't try to help her and walked out of the hotel. And as I'm walking out towards a different hotel, cops soup up and they say, are you monitoring? I'm like, yeah. And so that mistake I lost everything literally in that moment, rightfully so. You with this woman today? No, no, no, we made amends about three, four years ago. She reached out. I didn't feel like it would be appropriate for me to reach out. You know, as if it's like another step, which 12 steps was great, but I didn't be appropriate for this situation. But she reached out. And she did. What'd she say? She was apologizing. Yeah. And I told her you don't apologize. Okay, whatever. I don't have an ear for that. You're so you're so good. You're so impressive. You know, people tell me all the time, you're a miracle. You overcame everything. You lost everything. Dude, I am lose. Shit. I wasn't going to the NFL. Okay. No, you are hanging out with Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. The only time I ever met Peyton Manning and sat with him in his office for a half hour, he couldn't wait to get rid of me. Could not wait to get rid of me. Oh my God. I hear you loud and clear. It's and you know, no matter what, I can sit here and say, oh, she did this. So I did this. At every moment of my life, I'm in control of my actions. And how I respond to stimuli. And so for me, it was a moment of, which is what I learned in therapy to follow, which I've loved to get into talking about in a bit. Is this that gap in between the stimulus and of course your response mine was very short. My window in between those two were very short. And of course it cost me everything. Yeah, but it did cost you everything. But what you got now is amazing. It's amazing. So I'm going to tell you a story. Please. So I opened up my last place in 2004. And I didn't make any money at it until 2012. So I was just a rat on a rat wheel like everybody else. And I was with my therapist and we were talking about it. And I explained why that was. I was very clear on why I sucked. Okay. Because I had a as my foundation. And when you're in a you're supposed to do it for fun and for free. And I always did it for fun and for free. I always had people on my couch. I always put people in sober living. I did two people to break this. I did everything. I had a commitment in every meeting. Okay. I love AA. And so I knew why. Right. I didn't feel clean. How am I making money off people? Of people's alcoholism. They're misfortune. It didn't feel good to me. It didn't feel right to me. So for three straight years, every year, there's this swami that comes into town from India. And we sit with each other for an hour. Once a year, every year, we sit together in Malibu. And for three straight years, I'm crying to him. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing this. I'm not. I don't feel good about it. Right. All this stuff. Right. And for three years, he just said the same thing to me over and over again. I wouldn't it be a better world if everyone could help people for a living. Yeah. Three years, that's all he said to me for three straight hours. And I'm slow. So on the third year at the end of our session, I gave Mahogana kiss and I said, how long were you going to keep doing that? And he said, until you heard it. It took three years. Okay. But what happened at that point was I felt good now about what I was doing. And then we started thriving. And we started growing. And I probably gave 10,000 people back to their loved ones. So I believe. Right. And you're doing that now. You're going ahead and people call you completely distraught because of their loved one. And you do you have children? I do. I'm nine years in recovery and I have a nine year old son. That's right. He never saw you loaded. No, never you'll never know a father who was like that. Never. Maverick. This is name. That's bitch. So now what you do is you help people in crisis. Get their lives back, which which affects an entire family system. The kids are now have a present father or mother. Right. Yes, sir. The Marital Union stays tight. Now nobody's losing jobs are going to jail. No one's got health problems as a result of alcoholism. You stop all of that in its tracks. You go out. You do an intervention. You grab somebody and you put them into the best fit, but they because you know what the right fit is. I do. You have given mothers back their boys and fathers back their daughters. Is there anything better than that? There's not. There's there really isn't it. It's it doesn't feel like work. It doesn't feel there's nothing mundane about it. It's not mundane about it whatsoever because everyone's story is different. It is a case by case situation and but at the but the end result is of course we all want. And that's what I love getting them to and so this is what I do. I just had a gentleman and I'm not just it's wild how it just happened this morning, but I promise you I'll show you after this show in my phone. I had a gentleman text me today is one year we started talking three years ago and he was struggling. He just reached out to me on X and I just gave him myself a random guy and a human being and literally this morning he finally hit his one year and was texting me and so I I love that stuff. So for me it's of course are there still moments when I lose sleep about losing things of course do I still dream about changing like if I just would not have gone in that direction absolutely. But for me I this my life is living proof I'm biased of course but that everything happens for a reason. I thought that I was going to write off into the sunset with the gold jacket right being the greatest in the fall running back of all time. That's what my dream was when I was eight but my higher power was like no no no no no no no no no no we got to we got to fix this and you're going to be there for other people a lot of people. You know the viewers don't really may not understand but it's impossible to focus as you know on other people's problems and try to be that solution for them and think about your own problems. It doesn't work that way. It's tough it is tough that's why I still have my therapist today so I went through intensive outpatient treatment and I was fortunate enough that therapeutic alliance happened pretty early on which is rare at times for folks to find that right therapist early on but for me I was lucky enough to find a guy who used to open up at times for Metallica and so he knew somewhat of that lifestyle right like we're in the same ballpark here. Of of lights, cameras, actions, women, infidelity if they're married like all drugs alcohol all of that he understood it and so we bonded immediately and he's still a guy I see today and so yes it's difficult to I guess my point being is he's still helping me today someone who I see where I can sort of chat with him be a soundboard he can help me out with some things mentally as I'm continuing to do this. I'm continuing to help thousands of others. You know I've met scores of athletes scores of them. Yeah you're the most impressive athlete I've ever met. I appreciate that ever. If you are as human and as grounded and as decent as anybody I've ever met from the world of sports ever. I appreciate that man that's yeah man give me a motion here because I yeah there were many years man of just I've you know and this is what people go through right. It's that slippery slope where you feel you know I've let so many people down my family of course you can let anybody down I want to tell you something most people okay in your position play sports forever and then three years after they're done they're flat and broke everybody you're not no you don't have brain damage so there's no CTE there's you feeling good physical I feel great feel good physically you look good. Yeah physically you look good physically right I mean you're doing the right thing every day you're living a clean life yeah you help people all day long your your wicked smart okay it's like dude what's cool changes that was high school now we're getting into the real world. That's right okay 34 years old you're in the real world now you can be anything you want and you can have a career for as long as you want and do whatever you want for as long as you want that ain't the way it is in sports. You're you thought you were behind your ahead you just didn't know it. That's powerful actually that's thank you for that well I'm not judging I'm just recording. These are facts you're correct you're ahead of the game everybody who's leaving there okay who thinks they're all that who's going to be not able to put two nickels together in three years you will have already had that experience of oh I don't get off that fortune now I'm doing well and I know what to do with my money and I'm going to show people what to do with theirs because I don't want my boys to make the same mistakes I did because everybody donkeys off their first fortune doesn't matter if you're an athlete or not you you knew that right that's yeah that's a good point everybody does I did not the last four okay but my first fortune everybody donkeys it off yeah because you don't know what you don't know correct right yes sir I think it's I would say so I'm nine years in recovery this this shift in perspective again the the knowledge you're providing me here is is something I'll carry with me but this shift happened I would say three years ago where I was no longer hold my head down where I was where you actually believed yes that you were on a better track and you weren't longing for or in mourning over what you did exactly that shift happened about three years ago and that is as we both know right it's part of the process of of being in recovery and a lot of guys and gals who I speak to today who are starting their recovery journeys or ten months or ten years in the recovery journey all had to go through that same period feeling like they let their close love who runs down or their friends down themselves down and just mourning what they've lost as opposed to understanding where they're at and what they can do what they can gain how proud are your parents right now they are extremely proud they're more proud of you than they were when you were playing football I can tell you that that is correct it's it is a wonderful this year has been this these nine years of recovery have been better than any touchdown I've ever scored and I think it's it's from everything that we've already discussed at the beginning of this year you know I received a phone call from the athletic director at the University of Wisconsin Madison that I am getting inducted into the college football of fame next month in December or so in December of this year and yeah that was heavy that was heavy because it was like it all wasn't going to be a good thing it wasn't for nothing it wasn't like wow thank you that's a that's a blessing to to I can close that chapter that's why this year has been one of of significant growth in my recovery journey because again when I think about all that my family sacrifice financially emotionally now it's like a it all didn't go down the drain I'm getting in the hall at least with one of them now I can close that and I can move on well yeah and so I I I mentioned that because I didn't know I didn't know you're one in the recovery didn't know you're two didn't know and I guess my point with sharing that is yes cliche is it sounds you don't know what tomorrow is going to bring as long as you wake up sober you go to sleep sober yeah I hate that you're you're I hate that let me let me tell you something okay I hate that um sobriety isn't it some gift hmm it isn't I don't care what anybody says that's true if you don't find if you don't find a life that is more valuable than the one where you are using and drinking you can't stay sober and I don't give with anybody says that's such a good way to put it okay well it's the way I put it because it's true but the whole idea of getting sober is to live a better life and hopefully to live your best life hmm okay and then God willing not have it call you all the time right it calls you right and I just wrote a book on transcendence right and it's because it doesn't call me it I don't think about it I can have a glass of wine and not give it shit and you know what happens when I have a glass of wine and I start to feel it I don't have that thing that says oh more is better hmm I go oh that's nice that feels nice hand to God hand to God four months ago had a glass of wine yeah started kicking in about two-thirds of the way down I said ah that's nice man you can get there but the work has got to be there now I'm not saying not telling anybody oh there's a time where you can drink I mean I know less than one percent of the people in recovery that have transcended drug addiction and alcohol right okay which is why I didn't talk about it in my first book because I didn't want anybody you know you know how we are oh it's me I'm the one who's going to transcend it right you're just right over to told me yeah right no no no I'm transcendent okay Jesus Christ but here's the good news man you are approaching 10 years I am and what you may not know or you may know is that and I didn't know at the time so that's what I'm sharing it with you I was at my buddy cam's house and I was telling him my woes and everything I had your time I had nine years and he says he just starts laughing at me I'm like dude I'm just bearing my soul to you this is not appropriate that's not what I was looking for you know right and so he starts laughing and he says nobody you don't understand it 10 years the world changes and I said I'm thinking this is for this makes no sense to me at all this is just something people say and he says no no no no it happened to me and all six of my boys all of them at some point in your 10th year it's a rocket ship I think he's fully 10 years nine months cam everything happens right to the moon right to the moon it's a thing wow it's a thing if you guys can make it it's a thing I didn't know that I did not know yeah you're right around the corner bro I did not know that's what you think dude you think you're gonna come on over here and not get hit with the lucky stay it's right God's looking out for you dude that's right yeah you're on a winning streak right now I I I appreciate that Richard and honestly it's it's it's I'm still learning of course right I love the perspective that you had there just about the transcendence part of it of obviously as we all know it's not just consuming the substance it's your thought patterns it's how it literally just changes the way that you behave like prior to using after using and so I guess I guess I'm looking forward to that that rocket ship it's coming it's coming it's coming then I'm not gonna fumble it this time so let's do the disclosure thing okay you were just hired by one method now by our CEO candy Henderson who is my work wife who I love desperately and that's in the world to which she does okay and she knows she was offered four million dollars a year and just turned it down so she could be here with us and hang out with us did not know that yeah she's not valuable oh she's a serious woman that is a serious woman who everybody loves who will roll up her sleeves and do every thing which no CEO would ever do she's not too good to do anything she sets she's a she's a she's a unicorn she's a unicorn that's what I keep hearing and I I I love chatting with her she's the best I do she's the most knowledgeable in the industry when she came out here for the first time to meet me I had her in the car for 14 hours 14 hours 14 hours we went and looked at every property we had breakfast lunch and dinner and I would not let her I lift the car until she came to work for us wouldn't do it I wouldn't even consider it I mean this false imprisonment it's lighting in a bottle yeah you were gonna let it go oh no it's it's no that's why I can tell um you know it like I said it I'm grateful for the opportunity I know where method is is and over methods going and I'm blessed to be part of the team this is this is this is a rocket ship what she loved you she thought you were as as real and the humility and the the genius and the whole thing the whole thing the whole Monty the whole there you go it's the whole monster which is what I had to learn in therapy right that football was just the piece of your puzzle not the whole puzzle dude you're so much more than football right so much more than he's awful Paul no um I have a no I mean I can I threw it through a touchdown past a rust speaking of that so I scored so I tied Barry Sanders single season touchdown record in 2011 what 39 touchdowns you had 39 touchdowns 39 you're 50 you got that you had 55 one year I had I so I lead so I have the all-time record of touchdowns and the history of the NCAA I own that that's right um well the quarterback doesn't ask you to buy the quarterback of Navy beat me but right you know well he's got a beat yeah and by long story short 39 touchdowns in in 2011 well they don't count the past that I threw to Russell Wilson for a touchdown right they don't count it but if you look at the box score he's got a receiving touchdown I have a hundred percent passing rating where does that touchdown go right I should be the single season touchdown record holder with 40 so if you go look at my stats you'll see that they have me earmarked for sure a 33 rushing six receiving where's that throw it's a touchdown pass so it's not a touch you know I can't throw but that season I did have two completions two Russell Wilson um and uh yeah that's so cool I forgot for whatever reason I forgot he was at Wisconsin I just remembered uh he was at NC State NC State he had another year of eligibility and of course was shopping then fell with Wisconsin uh he was drafted by the Colorado Rockies but that was the real that's when he got really good right with with Wisconsin absolutely um we played in three straight rolls bowls and I'm actually uh again the brag a little bit I'm getting inducted into dude it's bitchin I'm getting uh inducted into the Roseball Hall of Fame uh at the end of December really um so I'll be back uh being Pasadena uh doing the whole Roseball parade to that so cool that's so cool I love the game you know you should do you should open a cigar joint in Madison Wisconsin look I this rocket ship I'm throwing many ideas in there right cuz we're taking them all with me um in any way of course that I can be of service uh not as dip I don't be so different like here but I I'm I'm ready to get to work with method I am to help people well you help people hey man you're still friends with people in in uh the sports world right yeah okay I mean when I played sports I have a saying that everything I ever needed to learn in life I learned through team sports um everything right uh leadership qualities everything right that resilience piece is huge oh my god as you know probably better than most people I'm not resilient at all I'm the most on resilient person alive I went ahead when I was a kid and I wrote an interception that would be well I I'd be like that's not a perfect game god damn it and I just lose my shit right I'd throw two or three of those four of those in a row I'm calling time out I'm walking to the to the side and my coach is like what's wrong with you and I'm like go I'm so angry and he's like oh you just I mean it was just I know resilience not so can I pose a question then I then I would love to hear your point I apologize for over talking here but it's you're over talking you say my guest and I won't stop running my mouth no your fly you say you know I would assume that you've used and and also developed a significant amount of resilience in the business industry in the business world I'm sure you got beat up plenty of times with with your first businesses oh yeah and now look at you so that doesn't just happen or else everybody would be a successful business owner and I got lucky this time this time it was this no no this time it was different my last place you remember my last place right I do I do know the name I don't want to say it but it's all right I mean it's just I don't like saying it because now they're good I mean seriously I called over there the other day it's like hey Rich just keep mentioning us because everybody thinks this is still your place and we're filling up I was gonna say it earlier in this interview this podcast but I was like nope what could I say it and do you know I still call it this because it's so I still say that I still call Carrera Cliffside at least once again I just you know it's just it's just it's part of my DNA yeah and it was so easy it was so easy the first time the entire world has changed now and it was so hard and I just started getting my ass beat and I was scared because 31 people the best people in the industry left Cliffside to come be here with us at Carrera 31 so in the same week okay it must have felt like the end of a godfather movie right and I didn't do it to harm anybody I did it because I bought one method right from this kid named Cassidy cousins right who was in acquaintance of mine and he calls me and he's like I can't make payroll what do you mean you can't make payroll you got to rehab wins payroll 36 hours how many clients you got in the place we got nine patients all right I'll be right there so I go over there I buy the place because you can't not right there's nine people there yeah you don't make payroll all the workers are going out with couches and computers and TVs like you know and then it becomes a shooting gallery literally or a crack house right they'll never go get treatment again they'll never trust the process again never right so I'm like I can't have it right so I walk in I buy it I come home and I tell the four of us that are still sitting there people who had worked at the prior place but then when I sold said I'm not working for anybody but him so they went on to become therapists and doctors right put on to kill the world they don't worry they're all back and so we're all together again and so I come home after buying the place and these four women look at me they're like they're just are packing their stuff and I'm like where you guys going oh we're going to see what you did and I'm not like you at all I'm like what are you talking about I'm the king I'm the people forgot who I was right and I'm doing that whole thing right and I'm like no dude we didn't forget who you were it's a different world we'll be back in a couple hours and they left I came back with the blood rushed out of their face they said you bought nothing but a money pit I said what are you talking about they don't even have staff I said babe I just met the entire staff what's wrong with you how many shifts do we have Rich I'm sorry well we're 24 seven 365 day your business we don't sleep how many shifts in a 24 hour day I'm like three eight hour shifts sir you met one shift and that's all they've got oh they don't have any nurses they don't have anything they've got nothing Rich you bought nothing you killed us before we got started and all I wanted to do was build career slow gentle just like I did the last thing but I couldn't let this thing go because I there were people there of course they even drove me nuts so I look at them and I'm like okay you guys go home you don't know what the hell you're talking about this will be fixed in the morning okay you people have no faith go home go home faithless right so the faithless went home and I locked the door and then I ran into bed and cried myself to cry myself to sleep like a little bitch right I was such a baby right I'm I can't believe I can't believe you're gonna I do not believe you're going to move me after all this I've got too much goodwill in the bank there's no way you're gonna do this to me right I mean this is like to God like at night right I cry myself to sleep I wake up in the morning and I usually shave in the shower because who wants to look at their grandfather in the mirror but whatever reason I'm shaving in the mirror and it just hit me man I just looked at myself and I said everybody comes home today so I got on the phone I called 10 of the best people in the world who still worked at the other place and I said I'm sorry for the late notice but everybody comes home today right now and they said we're doing it again said oh yeah and 10 showed up 10 gave their notice in one hour what in one hour I wanted to stay lean because we can't build there and we're not going to be licensed for another six months for Quarera so this is all oblied right all oblied but I got to take these 10 because now we got to roll our letters our sleeves up and go to work and and do a bunch of different jobs to save this thing right I mean I really strained us and the president of our company walks in Aaron and she says to me they're calling who's calling hmm she said the people from Cliffside I said what do they want she said they want to know what's wrong with them they want to know why they can't come and I said how many and she said 14 and I said take them all six more followed a week later and then I called the HR person because we needed an HR person and my sweet Laurie I call her up and I'm like hey babe how you doing she goes oh Richie it's so good to talk to you and I said how do you like work in there she goes oh it's so great the people are so great I'm like okay I don't have any year for this bullshit you want to come home or not and she goes of course I want to come home you took everybody that I love and I'm like okay I'll see you here in two weeks 31 31 and then the next you can ask you go back right because everybody would say we'd start filling up you know we took off like God does paint shots just to show off in my life okay I had no idea how to generate any business I had no social media nobody watches TV anymore Google doesn't work okay all of a sudden I'm on the cover of the LA business journal and we fill up in two weeks because everyone knows I'm back no clue how that happened none paint shots it comes back it comes back it comes back to you and then what happened was and you'll ask the next 69 people that we had were by invitation only what does that mean that means when my friends come to me and they say rich we're getting too busy man I'm getting overwhelmed I need some help will you hire somebody and I'm like no I will not but rich I need the help good go find somebody to help you you're responsible for that person you're responsible for bringing the lover into our place don't bring me somebody who's desensitized to the process of helping out another human being all lovers come to us you're responsible for the people you hire I do it backwards bro is it backwards though I do it backwards I don't hire the people with the objective with the with the with the pedigree or whatever I hire lovers and then we coach him up and we make them the best in the world because love is the foundation of everything we do because you can't walk into treatment okay full of shame and then you know have people kick in your ass while you're down that's like the worst thing ever I say like dude that is the most cruel thing I've ever heard like why don't you just go smack a baby or something yeah I challenge you I challenge you I don't know if it's backwards maybe that's what it's supposed to be I don't know hey proves in the pudding right I get lucky dude I just get lucky this it's lucky think of it this way okay everyone's empty everyone's empty people can go to treatment right now for 50 bucks everybody's empty right just walk in say hey this is what I got yeah you're empty I need help okay we've got a wait list and I feel bad because I don't want them waiting I'm like no no no I mean I got on the phone with somebody the other day and I'm like no no babe listen to me you can go here go to my old place my old place isn't gonna hurt anybody okay yeah but they're not you it doesn't matter you're doing illegal street drugs 70% of that it's got limit and one out of every six seven pills has a lethal dose in it just go go now now I was listening to your podcast okay what does that have to do with anything yeah you said that you built this place for people that if they went if they could afford to come here and they didn't show and they didn't come here and they went someone out somewhere else and they found out about it later they would be livid you said you built it for that purpose I said I did well then I'm waiting for you well unbelievable unbelievable thank god he made it that was I think I was saying that was my that was my question oh how many times has somebody made an appointment okay to come into treatment let's say a week oh I can't do this now I've got this and that not going on but I can come a week from tomorrow okay and then you say okay we'll leave it a positive because everybody wants to come and so you say no problem and then you're calling to get them in and they're not coming in you're calling every number and then a mother answers the phone says oh I'm so sorry he passed away yesterday oh if I had a nickel for every time that happened to me I'd be living in lower bell air hmm it happens all the time that's why I don't like people waiting no no that's that's I've I've been you know doing this of course for nine years nine ten years and that's that's happened I am full of times I don't want for it to increase but unfortunately we're battling a monster battling a monster so we need more people like yourself and starting these places that are helping people well you're the one bro because I don't don't do that anymore I don't see I don't go to treatment centers anymore and you've won on one stuff anymore with people I don't because I'm hit and miss right when I'm on I'm I think I've been told yeah my people who would know better okay that you know one on one with an alcoholic I'm as good as it gets okay and I believe that with all my heart but I ain't on all the time I'm not at my best all the time I'm 59 I'm exhausted it's like there's only so much negotiating you can do the drug addict before you're old enough and you're like okay shut up yeah I can't hear it anymore right so if you're not at your best and you can't be the your best version of yourself and it's got to be a love call it has to be loving literally if I can't be loving I am useless useless if I walk in with a heart of a servant the heart of a servant joyfully it has to be joyfully if you walk in with the heart of a servant joyfully there is nothing you can't do nothing that's the secret sauce and now you know and now I know that's it that is it um that's I wouldn't say well intentionality is so important so for me it's it's I make sure to when I wake again not to be so cliche but I lead with that of of the foundation being loved when I chat with families when I go into these rooms where mom and dad's crying with their 17 year old or 25 year old or 30 year old or when I'm chatting via text or phone call with someone who reached out to me years ago who's was struggling then you know I let the conversation with love and now today we're we were texting this morning about this guy mentioned earlier and we're for chatting about the NFL we're chatting about the world series game you know the game seven one of the greatest game sevens across all sports that was good and so point being of just people under the influence uh they're really good at seeing through people man if you don't lead with love they can call you out in the heartbeat we're such a gifted people it's like they're so gifted they're like like they they can see right through it yeah see right through it and so it's one thing he mentioned to me and again this is just one case where again now we're we know it's not a I wasn't doing it to brag about it he knows that no because now we just talked about you don't have you don't have a brag but you don't have when you say it it's I'm proud of myself I did this I'm proud it's not a brag thing it's it's hey I did this and it was good yeah I love that yeah thank you because I could have put my tail into my legs and and and ran off somewhere and everybody would have folded did everybody nobody nobody would have lost what you lost show me one guy who lost what you lost turned his life around okay and and and and did something better with it better because trust me when I tell you this is better god gives a shit more about this than he does about that trust me on this one on my life I hear you well I'm clear I hear you dude you're the best thing candy's done and candy's done a lot of things here um I'm I'm I'm ready for the rocket ship um and I'm ready to continue helping more people because I'm not I'm not done yet Richard um no not I'm not I think it's a I'm willing to continue to pour my life and soul into this because I I see it every day from people who I've talked to years ago texting me and calling me of course some of these stories aren't great that's just the nature of the beast unfortunately which is why we're sitting here um you know wanting to help more people but those stories of people picking themselves up mom and dad getting their child back mom and dad getting their young adult back getting adult getting their wife back their spouse whomever it is is that's everything that is everything that's everything other than my children this is the greatest thing I've ever done because it gives me self esteem I would not have self esteem if I didn't do this because I'm incapable of doing anything else there's nothing else I can do that's people back their loved ones I build a culture of accountability and family we run this place like a football team that's how it because that's all I know that's all I know we run this place like a football team like someone makes an excuse do you know what I said somebody made an excuse to me the other day do you know what I said to them what is that I said look we don't do things over and over again until we get them right we do them over and over and over again until we can't get them wrong boom thank you coach saving I mean to your how the hell did you not go to Alabama I didn't get recruited by them they weren't looking at me I didn't get a single SEC offer who is the court who is the coach back then wasn't it wasn't was it saving no not that long no way I'll be with saving and and December he was both getting inducted and let's chat let's shout off wine here and it's in Vegas I love coach saving urban Meyer Michael Strayhand Vic me we're all gonna be there Michael can't bring in his dogs I will yeah my God dude dude he's another one yeah he lost everything and came back what was the the owner of the Eagles gave Meshot and he did great he came back and played another few years and did great yeah now coach in that Northfolk state is he yes sir good for him good for him he's great he is I think it's it's did we don't judge anybody on their worst day I mean Jesus Christ man that's I thank you for saying that because I think it's what I mentioned of course three years ago when I stopped holding my head low I crucified myself enough it's kind of the I you can't change the past like why are you continuing to mourn the situation that you can't change like you're going through that painful moment again and again and again and again and again and again uh-huh but also of course it's you know I I pat myself on the back today because it did take a lot of courage you know I had to go sit into rooms where I know people have preconceived notions about me and I knew what I wanted to do which is help people and so people don't have preconceived notions about you do people are so in uh narcissistic and and and self and self involved right they're thinking about themselves which is probably a narcissistic thought of me to have the things that they're thinking of no if you can just if you have the if you have the ability to look at yourself today was that narcissistic and you're not a narcissist that's true that's true I mean I guess you know I'm kind of just puking here I guess what I'm getting at is yes I think we live for 80 90 whatever years and it's like if you can see that people have fallen and they've gotten up and they're trying to better their life that's what this whole experience of 80 to 90 years is about yeah that's what it's about it sucks to fall though it does it hurts it hurts gosh it hurts and so I'm blessed to be part of this rocket ship because I know that we're gonna with the resources that the team has you know I'll be able to help thousands more well get buckled up because we're gonna start picking people right off the streets all right veterans right off the street no okay well I'm gonna be doing it okay and we're gonna put them into treatment because I can't take it anymore yeah see you didn't grow up here mm-hmm but this is my city I've been here 59 out of 59 years and it's turned into yeah I hear a lot about it okay it's heartbreaking now we've got two good politicians that are cleaning this thing up one is a woman by the name of Tracy Park who is a council person here for the West Side who's cleaning up everything and has done a magnificent job magnificent and the other is our district attorney a guy by the name of Nathan Hawkman who ain't about the and you know those gangs that run into a place and you know knock over old ladies and mothers with strollers and just you know I mean it's just none of that that's over good okay so we're getting that back but I've never been anywhere but here I don't go I don't I don't do vacations I don't very rarely every four or five six years I work around the clock that's what I do I work for my family and my friends and for the people I'm responsible for you know team you're gonna have the best fucking time here best time of the world but it's my own since since I signed on and so I and following this I'm feeling better not as if I wasn't feeling great I'm just this is out of the lot more to it well again this rocket ship analogy is is is I'm ready you're a great football player man but you're a better man thank you much better man thank you so the same much much better man than you were an NFL player you were right that was quick I was at the top of the blouse I got a cup of coffee with the Broncos yeah cup of coffee dude it's you your friends with Peyton Manning and Tom Brady like if you saw them out you guys would gap up and give each other a hug yeah yeah dude if they saw me they'd turn around and walk you know it's yeah it's look I'm 34 years old you know that's one goal down I got many more to go and I'm grateful to have corrected or rather I've I've this self diagnostic check my relationship with the bottle I'm glad it happened in my 20s hell yeah are you kidding of course now it's not about your son yeah tell me isn't it maverick tell me about yeah maverick nine years old he's uh he is do you guys live together no we do not co-parenting with his mother how's that how's that so I'll share like I said I'm gonna open book I'll get right into this so after you know the situation happened with the young woman back in Wisconsin I was arrested and I spent the weekend in jail and I watched the Broncos beat the Carolina Panthers Super Bowl 50 while in jail um and they just released me like four or five months prior um I got out and like six days later I received a text from a lady in Colorado saying she's seven months pregnant um and then I'm the father and I'm like whoa whoa my whoa um um that happens in Jewish culture it's uh again I don't there's she was I'm not there's zero frustrations there because I had my own stuff I obviously wasn't in the right frame might like the right mindset to to reach out to um I was being um toxic and it says belongs to short we then started to date as I had these like pending charges and the woman who is my my son's mother okay so she's so she's seven months pregnant yeah so she's actually never seen a drunk Montet or anything um but we decided like we dated for three years um and we kind of it just didn't work out it really didn't because it didn't work out before right and so it kind of felt forced and so he just felt like it's best to cope here and now he's doing he's well he's always been doing well but he goes to a private Catholic school in uh Colorado he's got a green thumb he loves to garden nine years old he's healthy he is very healthy uh physically mentally emotionally and um he doesn't care too much for football which great that's fine right right like to protect your brain my kid plays with a Rubik's cube you see 17 seconds whoa he learned that after a month wow uh I know say I love that stuff though and that's what we've been pouring into into Mav is just this arts right um and of course going to a private school helps with that as well there's more hands-on individualized you know schooling in a sense but he's really into like some music green thumb he does like volleyball his mom played it in lacrosse as well um but he obviously doesn't know yet but the time will come where he you know understand how much he means to me um he does at nine but how far like how how close do you live to him uh approximately like 12 minutes 12 minutes drive so it's like nine miles how often do you see him uh once a week twice a week as in like I have him um and so but you guys but if you wanted to drive him school every day you could yeah yeah yeah yeah we have uh you guys have a great relationship it is it is our relationship is is good and good that's the one reason why I'm out there in Colorado right um because I probably would have stayed in Wisconsin or went back to Missouri but of course I was like you know what I'm gonna be there for him that's right and so he knows how much I love him but he doesn't know yet about like when he was born I held him and I said I'm I'm never going to touch the bottle again ever and I have it and I don't plan to so isn't that funny because he was born in April of 2016 I was arrested in February 5th of 2016 yeah yeah yeah I felt the same way when my daughter was born you know I own that last place and I had it for I think six years um I think I was six years sober at the time when I had her and the second she was born I went into the biggest depression I've ever been in and I was thinking about why that is and it hit me because in the back of my mind I always held a space for one day I'm gonna be out of this business and sell it and then I'll be able to smoke crack and never stand up again and die the right way right I figured I'd have three years to go on a crack before my heart fell out okay and I just dropped and then I had this kid now understand I own one of the most successful treatment centers in the world at this time and this is my thinking because I can hold it together but one day I'm gonna do this again this is who I am to my core one day I'm going back there okay I was holding that right and I just after my daughter was born it's just yeah I can never do this again ever ever and people don't understand that people don't understand I sit all the time you don't know what love is until you have a child you think you do but you don't people with cats get upset I've got a cat I'm like quiet you get it you understand it um other parents of course understand it as well it's they're they're there there was there was no for me and I get it there for for some like you said you you got a glass of wine um I can't no any better not because you can exactly yeah and I think that's the important part of of people understanding their own treatment process their own journey their own recovery journey is once he was born I was like I am there will not be a moment where I'm like okay I think I'm good I think I can right now I don't know what it was Richard I don't know what touched me love maybe but when I held him it was I don't need that I don't need that now again it wasn't that simple of it it wasn't just like a light switch that happened therapy of course right was huge but I sort of had that leg up in a sense when I went to therapy it's like okay now figure out who you are Montaic is now you got a child now let's figure out who you are outside of the game of football outside of that excruciating and soul crushing performance anxiety let's figure out ways to deal with that performance anxiety because you're gonna have it regardless no matter which industry you go into but let's just long story short let's give you these tools to figure out who you are and then of course so you can be there for yourself hey man this has been a great time yeah it's been a great time before we go I want to touch on this real quick you know anybody who you're close to or anybody you got close to you know anyone who's had a family member or child died yeah can you tell me about how that family is doing not well um and I'll share it uh and it's that's the alarming part about it I had no clear you're gonna ask that question but once you finished I immediately knew that's just how prevalent it is unfortunately um my grandmother's sister so my great aunt her son and I'll say his name um Brian passed away four years ago um from and um it's the the ripple effect is so destroyed it it is it is um and I think about my grand-earn all the time I really do because there is a healing path for all it in this scenario you can choose it if you want to but my gosh I don't know that takes a lot of courage a lot of strength to lose a child too thin and so to your question um she's trying she's trying and I she's destroyed time it's never gonna be the same do you got got uh some brothers and sisters yeah he does yeah his sister is a police officer um my cousin and she's trying we do good things dude I want you to remember something and I don't ever want you to forget it every bad thing you've done every one of them has been erased that's not who you are anymore every bad thing you've ever done has made an immense for how you live your life today and who you are who you give you give people back their families you're a good father you're a good co-parent oh yeah you're a good man and everything in your life from this moment forward is going to be a blessing thank you thank you Richard no problem now thank you now look into that camera and say I'm taking candy to meet coach saving I'm taking candy to meet coach saving that's right that's right candy we can yeah we can make it happen hey we're getting we'll chat here see you next Tuesday see you next Tuesday what you said we're out of time please subscribe on youtube click the thumbs up and leave a comment please subscribe on apple podcast and Spotify and leave a rating and a review and share the we're out of time podcast with others you know who will get value out of it see you next Tuesday