The Precap | Josh Johnson on Speedrunning the End of an Empire

Need anything from Tesco? Like Tesco Finest Salted Pretzel or Caramelised Biscuit Chocolate Easter Eggs? £12 each with your Tesco Club Card or Tesco Finest Extra Fruity Hot Cross Buns? Two packs for just £3! Because every little helps. Selected Hot Cross Buns, majority of larger stores and online end 6th April. Club Card or app required. Exclusion supply. Whether you're off to the big match, get in! Enjoying a trip to the coast to catch up with friends. Or exploring some incredible history with your family. With up to a third off most rail travel, a rail card can help you save on train journeys all around Great Britain. Find the one for you at railcard.co.uk. Teas and seas apply. You're listening to Comedy Central. Hello and welcome to The Precap, a daily show podcast where we sit down with this week's host to preview what's coming up and recap some of the latest news. I am Nicole Conlon, I'm a writer at The Daily Show and I am joined today by the one and only Josh Johnson. Hi Josh! How's it going? I'm good, how are you? I'm doing my best. How are you? I'm good, it's been obviously like a crazy week so I'm feeling a little insane but I mean I'm fine. Yeah, it's a very honest answer. Thank you. People are always like, oh how's the Daily Show going? How is it? And it's like the show is great. The milieu of the news in which we work every day is very bad. So there is a contrast between my job is great but the focus of my job is not great. It's also not even just bad. It's like, yeah I don't know who it's good for. There are some times where you look back, especially if you take it back to like, I don't know, Bush era and there could be people who are like, oh I just don't think about politics that much or I don't get into politics. And there was more than politics to talk about. But politics just seemed to like seep its way into everything else. And then there would be things that happened that you could take a real side or stance on. And it feels like more and more, there'll be some that happens where I'm like, look maybe it's my bias depicting but this is starting to seem objectively bad. I don't know how you could be like, oh that's good. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. Speaking of objectively bad, let's talk about some things that we missed. We were so preoccupied with the impending civil war at home that we haven't really talked a lot on the show about how there's a whole impending war with Greenland as well. And now European troops have arrived in Greenland to boost the Arctic Island security and these are troops from France, Germany, Norway, Sweden and Denmark. Yeah, I mean, one, I have to commend you on having such great presentation and voice that as you deliver lines that are clearly dystopian, you actually do it with the cadence of like a sci-fi post-apocalyptic opening. Thank you. I did go to acting school for one year. So that's paying off now. Because you were like, instead of this civil war, there could be another civil war. So yeah, I think that's part of what I was talking about when I'm like, that seems very bad. That seems very bad that your other, what, NATO allies are like, we may have to shoot you? Yeah. That's one of those things where I don't know who feels good about this. Maybe I don't know enough people, but I feel like I don't know anybody that's like, this is actually phenomenal. There is one guy who's a one issue voter for Trump who was like, we got to get Greenland. We got to get Greenland because I've only been once and I think I'd like to be in a shorter line. Yeah. I did not like the exchange rate. I didn't love the exchange rate and when I landed, I just, the line with your passport, it'd be easier if it just said, you have a U.S. passport. Yes. So I know that everything they say is a lie and this is not why they're doing it, but the reason that Trump keeps giving is we need it for security. We need it for security. We need it for security of both our security and Europe's security. But the thing is like, the whole point of NATO is like, we can kind of delegate that so we don't have to do all the security. So you're sort of just making more work. Like Greenland was secure. It was secure. I don't know what the, I try to never enter any argument that the administration makes as if it's a good faith argument. 100%. And I think it's a weird thing to, to me, it seems like breaking into your neighbor's house to make sure they weren't about to break in yours. Because now you've opened up yourself to stand your ground laws. Yeah. While saying it's all to protect your family. Yeah. It's a very, it's a very bad logic. It's, it's, it's weird to not be able to take them at anything on face value because like in previous wars, for example, like going to Iraq was like, well, they have weapons of mass destruction and you're like, that's a lie. You want it for oil. And now with Venezuela, they're like, we're doing it for the oil. And then in Greenland, now they're saying this national security stuff that they were like, we're doing it because the ice is going to melt and there's minerals there and we want the minerals. And so my gut reaction is like, but that's not why you're really doing it because you never say why you're going to do it. But that is, I think why you're doing it. Do you have some other like even more ulterior motive that I can't even process? No, no, I think they've just switched over. I think they realized that the people who they would have been giving some sort of excuse for don't care. Or don't have any power. Yeah. You know those people that are like ethically non-monogamous that would be cheating if their partner hadn't agreed to be ethically non-monogamous. There are people in like these open relationships where you're like, oh, that, yeah, that works for you and you're happy. And then there's those people who are in those open relationships where I'm like, I could tell you were about to cheat anyway. Yeah. We really lucked out that they didn't care. And that's what this feels like. It's like they could have come up with some, I mean, if anything, it felt lazy to me that they didn't lean on more at least or make it seem like the sole purpose of entering Venezuela was as some form of like humanitarian duty over how Maduro treated the people and what he had done to them over time and everything. And instead of any of that, instead of any pretext of like, we are going to be the administration of peace. We don't plan to get into a war with this country. We actually just wanted to topple this regime because we see how poorly these people are being treated. Instead of any of that, they were like, we do like oil. Yeah. And it's like that. Yeah. Yeah. And it rings really reminiscent to me of someone who was about to write an entire speech about how we'd actually be a stronger couple if we weren't held down by society's standards of what it means to be in a strong, united household. And then before they could even speak, the other person's like, hey, are you like kind of bored? That's what it, that's what it feels like. I take it face value some of what they say. I just don't take the arguments made as good faith because I feel like we see, we, it's almost, we've had Trump as a president and as a political figure for what, a little over a decade now. And I think in that time, if you have not been able to fully discern what some of, I'm not saying everyone should be in his head. He's not even in his head, but like, like, if you haven't been able to find the patterns, then that is, that's a sign that maybe you have like no political prowess because, because he does this thing over and over where they, he lets his crony say what it's about. Then he says what it's really about. And then that ends up being what it's about. Yeah. Never once has have they come out said, oh, no, we, you know, the, the, the Jimmy Kimmel thing isn't because Trump doesn't like him. It's, you know, look at his ratings, look at his blah, blah, blah. Trump will then come out and be like, it is exactly what you think it is. Yeah. Through and through and then make those people look dumb. Never has Trump come out said what it was about and then it turned out to be about what everyone around him said it was about. Yeah. He tells the truth when he feels like it, when he's tired of like keeping up with the lie. It's the same way he can't stay on a teleprompter. Yeah. And so I think that with Greenland, there's, to me, it doesn't seem like a real plan. It's like you, you don't need anything here. Yeah. Not really because I don't even understand how getting the minerals from Greenland will benefit your, your base. Like, like the, the people who are in every state that, that voted for you in large numbers who are struggling right now through the tariffs, who are struggling right now through the inflation, who affordability is becoming their primary concern. I don't know how those minerals are going to help them. They'll, they'll help people who need the minerals, like people who own businesses that make microchips and whatever, like need the minerals. But I don't know if you're just like a farmer in Kentucky, I'm not sure how those minerals are going to benefit you. And so there are all of these big wins that work on a federal level for, for you to look back and say you improved whatever, like the asset class of what the government owns is. I don't know if any of that ever finds its way to trickles down or becomes present in the, in the lives, the everyday lives of the people who you say you're doing this for. Well, I think the minerals themselves will probably trickle down into their water supply. Yeah, I guess there's that. Yeah. Yeah. To the lead pipes that we will put into their houses. And I think, I think that's the main way that the trickling down will happen to people. I could see that. That, that makes sense. Cause yeah, I feel like for a country that's already willing to poison its people with the, the runoff from building and maintaining a data center. I have a hard time believing that any, any treasures you find in the way of minerals or oil, like any, any sort of increases in fossil fuels is actually going to take us to some sort of like next level as a people. Yeah. That's why it feels like we are speed running the end of an empire for no reason. I don't know what it gets you to, who knows, I guess, deport half the country is the goal or something like, like deport so many people that everyone left is, is, is like white and in an ice uniform. I don't know what that really gets you. It's, I think going to be the same thing as when they like chased everybody that they didn't like off of Twitter, like Elon Musk bought it and then all of the, like a lot of people left. And then now they're just kind of fighting with each other. And then in America, it's just going to be them fighting with each other, but this time in person. Yeah. I just, I don't know. Some of these things you can look at, obviously you can look at history, but you can look at not even history. You can look like on the internet at the current state of another country that did it and be like, that doesn't work. Like if, like if you look at the Fed with Jerome Powell and then investigating Jerome Powell and all this stuff and how he's almost out anyway. So it doesn't even make any sense and Trump's going to replace Jerome Powell with someone they'll do what Trump wants, which will essentially be like Trump controlling the Fed, which makes it so that Trump controls the interest rate, which makes it so that we will be Trump's seventh bankrupt casino. You know, like I, I don't know if you have money in America, maybe, maybe everyone is, I guess this greedy, but if you have money in America, you would think that you would want to maintain the money you have instead of reach for money that doesn't exist yet that could cost you the money you have. Like it's such a kid in a cookie jar mentality of like what more could be. Yeah. And yeah, I don't, I don't know how to make that funny. Like I don't think, I don't think it will be. We'll figure it out by Tuesday. It will be the work of everyone else that makes it funny. That is, I can say that with confidence. You know, I could, I could say with confidence that I'll sit in the morning meeting and I'll be in a thousand yard stare and you and Devin and Kat and Joe and Matt and everybody will have jokes like like Randall and Ashton will have jokes and I'll just be like, all right, yeah, yeah, I'll say it like this. So it doesn't feel like we're all going to die. This is in a one size fits all care. It's a platform that puts health goals first with real medical providers ensuring access to the specific treatments needed to get results. Hems offers access to ED treatments options ranging from personalized products to trusted generics that cost 95% less than the brand names if prescribed. To get simple online access to personalized affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss and more, visit hems.com slash daily show. That's hems.com slash daily show for your free online visit. Hems.com slash daily show. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Let's switch over to another really fun, awesome topic, which is ice in Minnesota. Yeah, yeah. We've talked about it on the show. There are obviously not a lot of fun angles to it. But one thing that is is like cool to see and doesn't immediately make me want to like crawl into bed is there's a lot of like cool or not cool, but fun to talk about. Protesters who are going out there and are standing up to ice and one of the coolest ones this week was this guy. He's a Vietnam vet. His hat says he's a Vietnam vet and if you can't trust a hat. What can you trust? But he's a Vietnam vet. He's wearing a giant fur coat and he's shouting at ice and will will play some of that clip so you can hear it now. I hope you can see through those thick ass glasses that you f**ked up. You stand there and sanction this bullshit and they kill the woman. But then there's also this edit that somebody put Naz's ether under it. Have you seen this? Yeah. A bunch of bitches if I've ever seen a bunch. And I'm telling you to your face and if you don't like it, f**k you. It's cool. It's not cool for me in middle-aged white lady to be like, wow, this Naz track is so cool, but it is cool. Yeah, I mean, I will say if you put Naz under most things, it does enhance them. That's what I should, I got married last year and that's what I should have done during my wedding vows. It's just put Naz underneath it and everybody's like, wow, she's really dissing her husband, but it's cool. It's like really, really cool. You know, he better marry her. Yeah. I look at the situation with ICE in Minnesota and most of what is happening with ICE and it's like, you know, our job is to do comedy and be funny. But sometimes every once in a while something is happening that is so bad. It's a lot like trying to pull from it to be funny or trying to make some sort of joke feels like if you witness someone be stabbed. So you witness someone be stabbed and you see the whole thing go down and then you have to do jokes about it and you're like, I guess he did make a funny noise when he got stabbed. Do you know what I mean? Like even when you're pulling from it, you're pulling in a way that is like, that you would hope meets the moment because I think that we can not just like entertain ourselves to death. I think we can actually sometimes even in comedy make things feel a bit more distant than they really are. And I look at what's happening in Minnesota and it's like, well, then these are the people who would do something about it if that thing happened. If this happens is happening right now. So whenever people look at historical events or whenever they look at my comparisons to make or history repeating itself, whatever, and they wonder what they would have done, you know, I'm not the first person to say this, I'm sure. Whatever you're doing now is what you would have been doing then. So if you look at the people who sort of like took no action or complied in advance or just talked about the sort of letter of the law over anything that is immoral and just. I think that that is what you would have been doing then because it's what you're doing now. Like this is your chance. But like I think that anybody who is looking at what's happening in Minnesota as if it is something happening in Argentina. It's like, I think people are fooling themselves that it's not going to come to your doorstep that things will just like quiet down there that nothing ever really happens. It's like a big sort of like black pill thing that that helps people quell their anxiety. It's like, well, none of this really matters. And it's like, I think it's going to matter to you. I think I think it'll matter to you when you get pulled out of your car on your way to work, you know, and and the idea that those things aren't happening or the idea that there's going to be some resolution without you getting involved is like how every. Atrocity and tragedy throughout history happens like really not being able to put yourself there. It's like it's here now and it's happening now. This isn't like a history lesson. You're not sitting in civics class watching this happen to people in black and white, you know, TV footage. It's like they are pulling people out of their car going door to door asking people for their papers, all the stuff like that. And I think a lot of people are easily able to compare to like the Gestapo and stuff because that still feels distant and foreign. What's happening now and I've seen some other people online say it's like what's happening now is is way closer like slave patrols. You know, it's way closer to like, well, we got to make sure this person didn't escape. So we're going to go door to door. We're going to ask people for their papers. If you get involved, you are jeopardizing or you are obstructing a legal investigation. You know, all these excuses have been used before. And so I think that you can't you can't just treat it like everything's going to go away. We're very good at doing that. We even do that with our war. Like war is a thing that we export. It's not something that happens here. And I think that you go back to some of the first battles of the Civil War, those people that never seen war before and the people in the town. I mean, so there were instances where they were recorded instances of people from the town knowing where a battle was going to be and going out and having a picnic at the top of the hill and watching it because they don't think it's they don't know what it is. They don't understand. They don't think it's real. Then when they see like the horror of war now now it's it's hit home. And so that's in our nature as people like sometimes you don't learn until you're the one that gets hit or it happens right in front of you or something like that. Even more so than what is happening in Minnesota being scary. I think it's scary to see how people can still like activate all of their cognitive dissonance, activate all of all of their like confirmation bias or just every sort of bias that makes it so they don't have to do anything. It's in like a hyperdrive right now. And so I talked to some people because I try to make friends with everybody so I can know what everybody's saying and what people are thinking. And there are just some people that are still they're still in a mindset that this is like happening on the on the screen right and not anywhere in real life. So let me ask you a question. I see you as like a very like wise, well spoken person. I know a lot of your fans do also. And I totally agree with you that this is the moment that's like what you do now is what you would have done then. So I often feel that way and then I'm like, well, should I drop everything? Should I go physically go to Minnesota and give critical support and put myself on the line? Am I a bad person? If I don't do that, what does what you do now being what you would have done then like what is our responsibility? I think of it this way. You know how this is maybe too like abstract of an idea, but hopefully this makes sense. You look at a road, right? Especially like a brick road laid from point A to point B. Every brick laid from point A to point B is very important. It makes up the road, but one brick can only be in one place. So this brick right here can't be this brick over here. That would actually be a problem for the road. That would be sort of a wormhole situation. Yeah, yeah. Now if every brick is trying to be other bricks, you have a bunch of unevenness. You barely have a road. And so every brick working together, perfectly cemented together where it belongs best is how you get a smooth road from point A to point B. If the point A to point B that you that you want is like where masked federal agents aren't grabbing people out of their out of their cars, out of their jobs, people who are U.S. citizens. If they're actually afraid, deeply, deeply afraid to make a mistake. If they're deeply, deeply afraid to carry out operations that are probably unconstitutional and illegal, if you want to live in that world, right? Then there are all of these people that make up the road to that world point A to point B. And I think that there are some people that are all the way to point A. These are like the front line people. These are the people in Minnesota right now because they have to be because they live there. Maybe if this was happening in Dayton, Ohio, some of those people in Minnesota wouldn't be out in the street, but it's happening where they are. So then they become the front line people. And I think that, you know, I'm not saying that this is not some mandate to you, but if this was happening in New York. Please tell me what to do. Please give me a mandate. But I guess I'm saying like, if this was happening in New York, maybe you would be one of those people out there. Maybe your Saturday becomes I'm going to go protest or I'm going to go try to help people, you know, bring whatever to help people who get pepper sprayed. And maybe you're in the back, like maybe you're in the back lines and then people get pepper sprayed. They come back. They come to you. You help them with their eyes or something like that. You call people for people. You make sure people get home safe, whatever that thing is. So you have the road that is like frontline. Those people are there and obviously, obviously, if there was the ability to have a protest where people showed up in numbers of 120,000 every single day to protest the operations of ICE, that'd be like beautiful and overwhelming. Like people wouldn't know what to do with that sort of thing. But we also have to live life. People have responsibilities. They have their kids and they are living life the best way that they possibly can. So then that's the frontline. Then you have these bricks over here. These bricks over here are people trying to spread as much education, spread as much of the word as possible. You have people who are trying to educate people on what their rights are because it's no mistake that our rights don't get talked to us. And so if you can be informing, and this is a thing now that anybody can do and I think everybody should do, is that if you can learn to the full, you know, every period, comma, every apostrophe, if you can learn your rights top to bottom, and you can learn not just your rights, but also what to do in certain situations. Because you saw the lady that the woman ran into her house, the door-dash lady, and ICE was trying to get her to give up that lady. This woman calls the police because she's like, this thing doesn't feel right. Because if they could come get her, they would have kicked my door open now. So then she calls the police. But then the police tell her, like, yeah, just give the lady up. Like, I'm not saying the police are always in and every city on ICE's side or trying to help ICE in every possible operation. Because the police are also bound to a lot more than these federal agents are, which is why the federal agents are masked up. Because I think it terrifies ICE that one day there may be a record of everyone who is in there, everything about who they are and what they did. Bad news because a big file of that was leaked. Some sort of leaker released the personal information of 4,500 ICE and Customs and Border Patrol agents online. But basically a huge file of these officers, should I call them officers? I think they're agents. A huge file of these agents' information was leaked. So despite the masks and everything, we can still look through it and know who they are. 4,500's a lot. 4,500 is like a quarter as far as I understand it right now. Like, there's not that many ICE agents. There's not. And that's the thing is, like, they're doing this concentrated in Minnesota right now because they don't have the manpower to do it everywhere. And there are definitely still ICE agents and CBP agents in other big cities. But they can only do a full court press on one metropolitan area at a time. And I also think that's where some of the fear plays in. It's like, just like with billionaires, just like with CEOs of companies, I think one of the mad rushes towards AI and towards the automation of everything is so that this class of people or this small group of people will finally live in a world where they can step aside from an inevitability. And that inevitability almost always is that there is always more of us than them if they want to play an us than them game. And so I think that when you see them move with, you know, you see Christine Nome up here at the podium with like one of us, all of you, you know, whatever the slogan is, it's like, that's dumb. That's very dumb. That's that is equivalent. Your slogan is you are stronger than me. Yeah, that is that is me walking into a biker bar being like, who wants some? I'll take everybody first. It's crazy. I think that having like your mask on or like thinking you have whatever JD Vance made up of absolute immunity, which doesn't exist. That's like JD Vance as someone with a law degree knows better than to go out there and be like these officers have absolute immunity. It's like that is not going to hold up in court, especially at a state level. Yeah, you already saw the I think it was a police commissioner in Philly be like if you come here and you do a crime, Trump cannot save you. Like I know you're an idiot. I am begging you to not come here and do a crime to help you right now. Yeah, because even the J6ers that he released, it's like that took a while. Yeah, that took a while. Yeah. And it almost didn't happen because he didn't he he I mean, to a certain degree, he couldn't pardon some of them because he was like out by the time some of them got arrested and were being put in jail. But it's like that thing. I mean, I guess if you want to try it, I guess if you want to try spending a year and a half in jail because you felt like like big dog and someone on their corner. Then I guess you can give it a shot. But I don't even really think that that many and this isn't me trying to infantilize anyone or just look for the good in everyone. I think that you probably have a real spectrum as far as far as ICE agents are concerned. And I think that you definitely have some people who are like, Oh, oh, no. Like like they like they're out on the street. They've got their gun. They've got their mask, but they're also like, OK, well, I hope this doesn't backfire horribly. Yeah, like there's no way that they're having there are we the baddies moment. I don't even know if they're asking it from a moral stance. I think just a perspective of there is there are more of them than there are. Yeah, perspective. They leave when you throw snowballs at them and they have guns. Do you I mean like like this is this I think being an ICE agent and knowing especially like a day like that where the dude who shot somebody left. And now people are screaming murderer Nazi and and and they're surrounding you and everything like that. I think that's a lot like when you watch World War Z and they're like, all right, you have a gun, but they're coming. Yeah. And how many bullets do you have? Yeah. And and and you think they're going to be calmer after you've shot 10 people? Right. Like it's like I think from a matter of self preservation, it's really important to to look at how these operations go. And that's why I cannot understand what anyone must be thinking. I don't know. I I get it. $50,000 signing bonus. And maybe you're broke or whatever. Like maybe that's what got you in. But I think there have got to be people who are like looking around what is now becoming every day. And I'm sure some of them love it. I think some of them are like fully crockery online, blackpilled. Like you notice you don't see that many proud boys anymore. You don't see you don't see that many like you know how in in the lead up to the election, a bunch of like, all right, far right people would come to counter protest the protest. You don't really see them anymore. You don't see that many people going to a rally or going to like an anti ice protest and being on the side of ice and standing across from those people. And I think that's because they're in ice now. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so so I'm not sitting here being like the ice agents don't know what they did and they don't know how bad this is and how they look or I'm saying that like even that guy is next to someone who probably loves this who's probably wanted this all his life. It gives him some purpose and he's being paid while he's doing it. He gets to antagonize people and he has a gun. He has a mask. He gets to do the internet in person. And then I think there are some people that are like, oh, geez, geez, like, like. From a strictly selfish perspective, this is not working out as I had hoped it would. Exactly. Exactly. And so I think that even within 20,000 ice agents and I'm sure they'll hire more or whatever. But like even within those, I don't think you have 20,000 true believers. I think you have probably, you know, if I had to guess, maybe half of them are deep true believers and like they're willing to harass anyone because you saw with the Uber driver who started recording them and they were like, where's your documentation? How I know you're a citizen, you got an accent. Your accent's different than mine. Like they're getting to do race dog whistles in person and they have the power to arrest someone behind it. Yeah. This is like a Nazi's dream. This is like a modern day white supremacist dream. At the same time, though, I'm telling you, there are people, it's why they leave when they get pelted with snowballs. It's like, you can see in some of those videos where enough of a crowd gathers and they're like, this is not worth it. Yeah. This is like not worth it at all. Yeah. And if I shoot someone, they will find my name. Yes. Especially now because a lot of them are online. Yeah. And then I'm sure it's going to come out the online tendencies of those people. Yeah, totally. You know, like I feel like a lot of stuff's going to be exposed and I think that's why there's this push now. Because if you can set the precedent now that like when I shows up, everybody like gets down or lays down, then I think you could take that to each city. But if they have a lot of trouble in Minnesota and they're not really getting as many recruits as it. When you say you can take that to each city, it sounds like they're doing like a road show. I mean, it sounds like they're doing stand-up tour. Yeah, I think they are doing like as best of a road show as they can. I think that, you know, Trump has like a couple failed tours on his record now. Yeah. It's like, what did going to LA do? Yeah. What did going to Memphis do? What did going to DC do? Like what is that really? Right. And how did that help you? Because you're less popular now. Like I don't know. These are questions that we cannot answer because they exist within, the answers exist within the mind of Donald Trump. Yeah, which is like soup, like alphabet soup. When that man got up and just looked out. Looked out the window. That was crazy. I was like, oh, oh yeah, yeah. That does make sense for where we are. He's 80 years old. Yeah. It's time to go look out the window now. I did look out the window and go, wow. Yeah. So you're still on the ground. If you were looking out the window of a plane and you said, wow, I'd be like, yes, that is the clouds are majestic. Yeah. This man looked out. At a construction site. Wow. And then came back and sat down. Yeah. And you could tell everybody was like, yeah. And that's what I mean. That's like, like that moment of realization of like, oh, his brain is soup. Yeah. It's like, I wonder if they're having that for other orders. Like, I think that someone like a Stephen Miller loves that thing because he can just tell Trump stuff. Right. And then Trump said, Trump ends up like fake tweeting the thing that he just said or letting Stephen Miller do it. I don't know. He just did that with dog sleds. He was like, they were like, I'm paraphrasing. We just watched this clip, but he was like, Greenland's not up to protecting itself. They said they were going to increase their military power and they sent out an extra dog sled. And it was like, no, that is something that like Stephen Miller and your White House tweeted as a joke. Yeah. And then you repeated it. Yeah. It is scary that somebody can like give themselves psychosis like that. Do you know what I mean? Like, I, it, it sucks. It sucks. Like, I'm thankful that I do come from a, from a good family, but having Trump as president must feel like. You ever met somebody whose dad was just like a loser? And then they had to like slowly come to the realization of like, oh, no. Or like, or like, it's like, it's like when you're. Oh, he's not, he's not home all the time because he cares about me. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, no, he keeps trying to not be home and the world is like, you should go home. Like this man is applying for jobs and every job is like, what if you just spend a little extra time with your kids? That's like, that's devastating to like have a leader whose, whose brain is such soup and like, like cold soup, like a cold, like a cold racist alphabet soup that just like the only letters in the, in the alphabet soup are slurs. Yeah. The only letters in the alphabet soup are hard R's. Yeah. My morning flew by and I didn't have time to cook anything. And I looked up at the clock and now it's 10 a.m. and I'm hungry and it's March. That's what I said to myself this week, realizing that life is super chaotic and we just don't have time to do everything that we want. What do I want? Easy nutrition that's ready for me whenever I want that actually tastes good. This is where my friends at Hewlett come in, sponsor of this podcast. That's H U E L. Hewlett is a perfect solution for high protein routine support, busy days, habit building, convenience and control this year. I have goals to be healthier and keep on top of my nutrition this year. And fortunately, I've found an easy way to stick to my habits all without compromising my nutrition and goals. This is thanks to H U E L. If I'm being honest, I am absolutely the person who looks up at 1 p.m. and realizes I've had coffee, just coffee, no breakfast, no lunch, just caffeine. So lately, I've been keeping H U E L black edition around to stop myself from doing that. On the days I'm sprinting out the door, I grab a black edition ready to drink. It's a complete meal. 35 grams of protein, 7 grams of fiber, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, no artificial sweetener. And it's under 5 bucks, which is kind of amazing because it's cheaper than a latte and actually keeps me full until lunch. And I know what you're asking. Does it taste good? Really good. My go-to is chocolate peanut butter. Then on days where I want something more customizable, I use the black edition powder. I'll blend it with ice and milk if I'm doing a whole smoothie moment, or I just shake it with water from being lazy. With a bigger boost of 40 grams of protein, same complete nutrition, just a different vibe. The RTD plus powder duo has basically become my insurance policy against chaotic days. With a limited time offer, get H U E L today with an exclusive offer of 15% off online with the code DailyShow at H U E L dot com slash DailyShow. New customers only. Thank you to H U E L for partnering and supporting this show. If you're busy, this is a game changer. Okay, so that's what's been going on, but there's going to be a whole new world of news next week. So let's talk about some things we might cover. On the lighter side, Oscar nominations. Yeah. It's crazy that stuff like that is still happening, but it is. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't think anything will ever stop an award show. I think it will have an award show over the rubble if we had to. Yeah, nuclear bombs would be going off and we would still get an award show. Yeah, yeah. So we'll see. Are you rooting for anybody specific? I'm rooting for Jacob Elordi as Frankenstein's monster. Okay. He was so good. Okay. I haven't watched it yet. It's, it's, in my opinion, a little bit long. And it's like true ish to the source material, but Jacob Elordi in particular as the creature, I think is great. I think he's really good. I'm rooting for Tiana Taylor because I thought she was awesome in one battle after another. What about you? I think anything. I don't know all the nominations to be honest. So like, I, That's what's coming out next week. So that, so the nominations haven't been announced yet. Well, I just mean like, I don't, I don't know who's eligible for what, but I'm big on centers. And I'm, and I'm especially big on centers because of the, this is what I would like to have happen. I would like to have a Ryan Coogler centers, Michael B. Jordan, the entire cast and crew sweep everything because then I think that it would make the people who are even more established and Ryan Coogler or the people coming up that are like studio, darlings demand the same deal as Ryan Coogler. I think that there's, there was a weird, I don't know, maybe I don't know enough. You can let me know in the comments. I don't know what I'm talking about because maybe I just don't know what I'm talking about. But I feel like there was such a weird setup that took place in Hollywood with Ryan Coogler where he got that deal and then it felt like there was a unified effort to take him, the movie and the idea of that deal down. Yeah. And it's like, y'all made the deal. Like that's, that's why they y'all would make the deal and then be like, uh-oh, we, we messed up, we looked at the math and we got a sabotage this guy now. Yes. And, and I- Which is crazy because it, centers like one of the best movies of the year. It was so good. One of the best movies of the year. It was actually a high grossing film and it's, it's like things like that that will save movies and actually save Hollywood. But like, like, um, greed is a sick poison. Like it, like it really is. It's like, there are people right now that would rather have no Hollywood and not their job than to watch people come up and get theirs. And that, that's like such a deep sickness to me. It's insane. It's like, there are people that are genuinely so greedy. It's not even your money and you want to help. Like you even saw the publications come out and be like, centers made a hundred million, but it didn't make two hundred million. And it's like, why are you working then? Like, why, like, what, yeah, I mean, like, like as, as a writer, why are you working? Like, like, I just, I found so much of that stuff just so sickening. And don't get me wrong. It's like, if you are Mike B. Jordan, if you're Ryan Coogler, or if you're anybody involved with the creative process of this movie, the success speaks for itself. You don't actually need their awards. Like we don't remember. I don't remember who won Best Picture in 96. And I'm sure it was a good movie, but like we don't remember that thing. Like the real staying power or the deals that get made and the creative that comes out. So like to me, I just, I just am, I'm really rooting for them because I think that the only way forward for movies, the only way forward for creatives is to, is to start being able to like double and triple down on your worth and your efforts. And I think that the model of this one guy greenlighting all this stuff and basically deciding the landscape of entertainment is dying. It's crazy. Hollywood was one of the most successful businesses on the planet for a century. And then I understand that like technology and social media and the way that we consume media has changed and stuff, but they have broken the business for no reason. So that now a thing that used to print money is like impossible for anybody to make a living in anymore. Yeah. And especially that's after you factor in like Hollywood accounting. That's after you factor in fraud. Yeah. They'll do fraud and they still don't have money. Yeah. And it's like they do have money, but they don't have money. They have to look like they don't have money, but they have all the money. Yes. So it's still technically printing money. It's just printing money for three people now. Yeah. The printer is just located in one guy's house. Yes. Yes. And so so I'm rooting for anybody who looks like they are at least giving a chance to sub subvert some of that. Yeah. But but yeah, I'm sure the Oscars will be great. Okay, let's close things out with a segment called Daily Show and Tell, which is where we talk about something that we've watched or read or listened to or argued about or just been on our minds lately. So let's go first. This came up. I wasn't actually going to do this today, but this came up in a conversation that I was having upstairs and I feel like I talk about this all the time. I hope I didn't say this on a previous episode of the podcast, but Karim Abdul Jabbar has written a series of Sherlock Holmes books, which are actually about Sherlock's smarter brother, Mycroft Holmes, and they're awesome. They're so good. And I recommend I'm not a big audiobooks gal because I like to read, but the guy who reads the audiobooks is really good. And I recommend them. I think everybody should listen to them. And it's about the Holmes brothers and it is within like the lore of Sherlock Holmes, but it is also about like Mycroft Holmes wife and his foot man who are from Trinidad. It is very like, I would say true to the Sherlock Holmes canon, while also like introducing fun new stuff from Karim Abdul Jabbar's perspective. And I think it's really good. And the reason this came up is we were talking about somebody, I don't remember if it was Trump or somebody in his cabinet, did a racist accent. Although whenever Trump tries to do an impression of somebody, this is the voice he does where it's like, I don't know if you're trying to do a Chinese accent or what that was nothing. But somebody did an accent and we were trying to determine if it's like ever appropriate to like do a Chinese accent. And I was like, well, in these audiobooks that I listened to the narrator is a black guy from England. And there is a Chinese character who he gives a little touch, just a little soup song of an accent to that I think is very tastefully done. Yeah, yeah. That I think is like, if you're ever going to do it, it has to be at exactly the level that this guy nails, I think. We are very tense about accents, because we don't know anything about any other country, but how they sound. Yeah. And that's that's what's doing it. Like, like, I'm never offended by people when I go overseas and people try to do an American accent. I'm like, that actually one that does sound like somebody. Like, you all have watched enough of our TV that you're spot on. And then two, you don't you don't have to be insecure about doing my accent to me because you like know about our foreign policy. Yeah. I think that it's like, like, when you know nothing about someone and then you just kind of do a caricature, that's like, that's what feels so offensive. Yeah. And you're like, no, no, I actually know. Okay, the best. Here's the best example I can give you. There was this guy who was, I was I was with some friends. And there was this one guy who these these people were speaking. I think they were speaking Japanese. And so he called out to them and was, you know, speaking Japanese. And then our other friend, because we didn't really know this guy, this guy is someone's boyfriend. But then they didn't hear him and they just walked away. Right. And it was a perfect misunderstanding because then our other friends started chewing this guy out for being so racist. And then he had to be like, no, I speak Japanese. I was trying to ask them a question and they didn't hear me. We actually know so little about the culture. We know it down to like kind of the sound to where she didn't even realize this person was actually speaking great Japanese. And so she was like, you must be being racist. There's no way you speak Japanese. Japanese is also like particularly tough for Americans, white people in particular, because a lot of terms in Japanese are just the English word with a Japanese accent. So to do it right, it feels racist. So my friend, Raleigh, who I don't know if you know him, he's the he has the Climate Town YouTube show. He also runs a billiards channel and he used to work for a billiards company in Japan. And so they flew him over one time. And he was playing pool with this guy who only spoke Japanese and his translator was like, hey, I got to run to the bathroom. I have to like run out for a few minutes. I'll be right back. And Raleigh was like, okay, no problem. If I want to, I'm playing pool with this guy. If I want to say it like great shot, how would I say that to him? And the translator was like, hmm, I guess you would say great shot. And Raleigh was like, I'm not going to do that. I super cannot do that. Wow. Wow. So anyway, that is the end of my Daily Show and Tell. Do you, Josh, have a Daily Show and Tell for us? I think for me, it's I was listening to this podcast and I didn't realize how the when you when you talk about early tech and in some things like you're talking like 70s all the way to 2000 like some of some of the tech feels fake. If you talk about tech that hasn't happened yet, it feels like sci-fi and it feels like so futuristic. Like, yeah, what if you could just like stand on this little platform and it was a hoverboard to work or whatever. But then if you go back and you describe how something used to work, that also sounds insane. And so I was listening to this podcast about some of the first hackers and the the inputs that they needed. They were basically sometimes they were hacking computers. But if they got it like one digit off, it would just be calling someone's phone. And I heard that and I was like, how is that possible? And now and now like once it was explained of dial up and like like all that stuff, I was like, OK, I still don't even know how hacking works. But I was like, OK, I kind of almost get what you're saying. But like apparently some of the early hackers who were just trying to mischief like they weren't they weren't like, you know, this was not Edwards note and no, there was no like black hat or like anonymous thing. It was just like it was really kids. It was really like once kids learned that they could like eavesdrop on something or like they could see the the the desktop of somebody else. They were just trying to do whatever. And and so there would be so many of like the initial hacks were like technically to phones. And so nothing was happening. But it's like because you tried to like you basically called you could either get in someone's phone or you could accidentally call their neighbor. And that to me was like, I don't know how any technology works. I probably didn't even describe that right. You described it enough that I understand. Did did you have when you were growing up? Did you get internet when it was in the dial up era? Okay, so I have a I have a quick thing about this. Actually, maybe this should be my show and tell. I was helping my mom. This is a while back I was helping my mom move. And so we had put some stuff in a storage unit and then it was like time to clean out the storage unit because you know, paying for it, everything. And I opened this box and this box was packed when I was much younger. And I found one of the AOL discs. And I was it I had forgotten. Was did the internet used to be on a disc? It used to be on a CD. Well, it's I think the software drivers that enabled you to connect to the internet. This is we are now at the absolute maximum descriptive power that I have to describe technology. But I think like the software that made your computer talk to the phone line was on the disc. So then, okay, because it felt like when I found it, that I was holding some internet because because of it fell out. Yeah, because the disc said 90 minutes of internet. And I was like, okay, then I think I think what I said was wrong. And I think there's probably one. Yeah, like very knowledgeable computer guy listening who's like tearing his hair out right now. Who's I feel bad. I feel bad, but it did say 90 minutes like it said 90 minutes. It was printed on the on the CD wrong. We never had AOL. Was it just once you use your 90 minutes? Did they just have to send you another disc? Well, no, I think it was to like sample the internet. Oh, this is what the internet is like. And then if you like what's on this disc, it's like a Costco taste test. Yes, of like, yeah, stuff on the internet. And 90 minutes is not enough considering like even if you want to go, let's say you want to go to like a lewd website back in the day. It was it to load it takes forever to load it loaded the way a printer printed back then. We had inkjet internet. Yeah, so now printers just spit the thing out line by line. But like you would line line line image image image image. And then like it would conk out like middle of the page or whatever you have to use your imagination. And so so I think that that finding that for me I was like I have truly no idea how the internet works if there is some internet on this disc right now. Can I tell you the most embarrassing thing about my personal internet history is that the first email address that I ever had was like Nicole 524 or whatever at Garfield.com. Because my grandma set it up for me. But at the time I think I had like a pair of Garfield slippers or something and so my grandma was like, got it. She loves Garfield. You're getting the Garfield.com email address. Can you just make your email address any website for a while Garfield was so popular and held such a place in our culture that they were like building more infrastructure around Garfield. And I think you really need it. And one of them was an email server on which I operated when I was like 11 years old to mostly communicate with my grandma. Wow. And how did you set up a forwarding like when you finally got like a Gmail account or I didn't need it. I don't think when I was at Garfield.com. Yeah. Anything important was coming. That's fair. That's very fair. Okay. Well on that really timely note. I think we can wrap it up. I think that's this week precapt. Yeah. I've been Nicole Conlin. You can catch my pal Josh Johnson hosting the Daily Show this week on Comedy Central and Paramount Plus. Nope. It gets complicated and confusing. Odu solves this. It's a single company that sells a suite of enterprise apps that handles everything from accounting to inventory to sales. Odu is all connected on a single platform in a simple and affordable way. You can save money without missing out on features you need. Check out Odu at O D O O dot com. That's O D O O dot com.