Taylor Dayne & Reza Farahan: Permits & Checking In

Get the Google Pixel 10 Pro XL on the UK's best network. Press to talk it out live with Gemini, your AI assistant from Google, and find out how to revive that plant. Yep, we've all been there. Plus, you'll stay connected even when you run out of data. Get yours on EE Today. After fire fruits, yogurt, I'm never going back. So fruity, so thick, so gorgeous from the package. Cool fire fruits, yogurt. It's a smooth and fruity snack. Gimme, gimme that fire. Passion fruit or strawberry flavor, my way. And taste the coconut, gimme that fire. Go down to the shops for this fruity snack. After fire fruits, yogurt, there's no going back. When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops. They said that I am by far the most difficult talent that they're working with. You know, we could say we don't judge, I judge, and I was judging. Money doesn't make you an asshole, but if you're an asshole and with a ton of money, you're gonna be a bigger asshole. Why are you looking at me? No, I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to look at that direction. Why are you looking right at me? Well, Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis Has Issues. In today's episode, Taylor, Dane, and Reza Farahan join the show. We talk about building permits, cruise concerts, and couple check-ins. Good morning, Taylor. Welcome back. She looks better every time we see her. Oh, my God! I cannot believe I'm here with Taylor Dane. I know. He's so funny. He's the sweetest guy. Before you got here, he goes, I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy. He said all this nonsense. I am so pleased, lovely to meet you. I try to keep it cool when she's here, but we grew up with you. Yes! Right? But take it back. Take it down. No! So scary. Take it up. In fact, we have the Spotify. Is it Spotify that I have? What do I have where I can punch in Taylor Dane? Pandora. Pandora. Old school like me. So this morning, I punched in Taylor Dane to get in the mood. Get in the mood. Yeah, it was fun. I'm so glad. Thank you. How long has it been since Taylor was in here? Not that long. You've got me. November, she was here last. That's a long time, Taylor. November? Yeah, we'd have you on every month. Jesus Christ. You got shit to promote. Dude, I do have shit to promote, but I mean, think about it. Like, you know, I was gone for a month. Like, you know, I travel and tour. I know you do. Now, what's happening with our home in Santa Barbara? Oh, Jesus Christ. Who do you know and who do I have to blow? That's how I feel it is. No. Come on. It is tough with permits. You're still in the guest house? Yeah. You know, he's about to do the same thing. Really? He's going to move from his main house to his guest house and remodel the main house. But he has a guest house at his main house. Do you see what I'm saying? Wait, is the guest house not in the... No! Well, who's guest house even? Originally I was. I was in a guest house where I was on a main property, but now I'm... Now I'm like, that was two years, but one year was just me deciding and then I sold an LA. And now I'm up there and I was in... It's over a year now. Wait, are you living in construction? I thought you were... No. I'm in a little guest house. That's what I said. But not your guest house. Not mine. Oh. It sucks. So you're not even on property? No. Okay, but you... I did a look at the sunset the other night and then I said, who do I have to know? Who do I have to... Because I want to take down Edison, you know, is it... I used to think it was Con Edison, but it's not... The power lines? It's just, you know, California Edison. There's a power line I want down, one in particular. I think it costs a lot. It's like 50K. Or more, a couple hundred, I think. No, no, no, no, no. Wrong to you, Jeff Lewis. Okay. All right, it depends. Right to you. I think for one line, one power line. You have just an unobstructed ocean view. Ridiculous. Okay, so how long has the house been under construction? How long have you been out of the house? I never went in it. Why don't you... Because I've done this too. Sometimes I think you should just move in, wait eight months for the permits, then move out. There's a theme to that, but it was a shit... I mean, I'm doing them such a favor. Like, think about it. The house was built in the 70s, maybe had a touch of remodel in the 80s. I didn't even think of it that way. I thought I had a cush guest house and things would be rolling my way, Jeff, but look how they roll. Wait a minute, so why... On the river. Why are you not in your own guest house? Is that under construction too? No, there's no room for a guest house on my property. Oh, I thought you already had one. I did. I was renting another one. No, I meant on the property. I know, Jeff. You have a lot of... I understand. I have a lot of real estate questions today. Well, if you have a friend with a guest house in Montecito or Santa Barbara, let me move in. I thought you were dating a contractor. Did that end? Oh, no, I'm still with pants. I'm still with Johnny. Okay, well, what's taking so long? It's called... This is why you date a contractor. This is why we do, but I have... It goes through my architect first because it's called review, you know, design review board first. Yeah. We know where we are in Santa Barbara. Yes. And then that had to happen, and then now it's gone back with the structural five times. Please don't tell me you have to deal with a coastal commission too. No. They're the worst. No. Okay. I'm dealing with the Riviera, but that I already dealt with. It's just... When will you actually... I love you, Santa Barbara. Give me hope, God. When will you start construction? What is the estimated construction date? The structural? No, the estimated... When are you going to demo? When are you going to start building? The minute they give me that freaking... When? Four months? Two months? Six months? Sit down and just cut the crap and can we go together and just get this done? Are you calling me... I'd love to fill them. I'd love to fill them that when you're going in, they're going, this is Taylor Jane. I need her head to be down. Maybe there's a chump in there somewhere. There probably is. Oh, what? The chumps are everywhere. Yeah. Our listeners, chumps. Chumps? How do you not know this? You've been under this so many times. Because I don't even... I'm naive about everything. That's why it's fresh. Our listeners and co-hosts are called chumps. You're a chump. We have fellow... Michelle Bergeron, you're a chumpy. We have fellow chumps. With chumps? And that is our new hookup at Cheesecake Factory. Oh, well, cheesecake. Let's just morph it on in. Cheesecake Factory, I could do it. I don't know if there's one in Santa Barbara. Do you think there is? Probably not. But while you're here, go to the one in the Grove. So Reza said, Reza has a book signing on April 7th. Oh, how nice. Yes, at the Barnes & Noble, at the Grove, please buy tickets. April 7th. So you said, hey, when you walked in, I want to host everybody, the chumps. Yes. At the Chump Co-hosts. Yes. At Cheesecake, you didn't know I had the in. Well... You just named the time. Name the time. Well, you name them. I'm host... Name them. I'm hosting you guys. So you tell me what's good for you. We have to be there at 7. Name them. I made a 530 and we just need to figure out how many people and I'll tell them and he'll set it up. Okay. You know how Cheesecake Factory won't let you book more than six people? Correct. They will with us now. For us. Amazing. Again, I keep it real novel. I had no idea. Novel to all. It sounds like Taylor Dane has made some big mistakes through this whole process. I just got my plans, by the way, from the architect. How long did it take? He is amazing. Jason? Jason Payne. I know he is. That was my referral. You should use my architect. My architect was great. That went smoothly and fast and there's just the city just comes back with nine crappy every other day. Corrections. Left, right? And then you got to resubmit. Resubmit, resubmit, resubmit. But we're living there. So for us. Yeah, you guys will live in the dream. So in other words, I'm losing. He's in the house. He's in the house getting the permits. He will not move till he gets the permits. I did this too. I made that mistake with the last house. Is that the smart to do? Yes. Stay until you get the permits. Correct. Because now in your case it could take, how long have you owned the house? Over a year. Jesus. Year. Over a year. So right? But I didn't even think like it was inhabitable. Just if you. But for the money you're spending at rent, you could have spent a little bit of money, cleaned it up, lived there, enjoyed that view every night. Johnny likes to sleep. Johnny already did a makeshift shower outside the house. Yeah. He looks at the stars every night. He's got a sleeping bag in one of the rooms. He's like, leave me here. Yeah. Well, what about me? Where do I put a soft head at night and lay down and see? He's not motivated. I will. He's living his best life. I will whoop it. Why does he want you there? He doesn't want me there. I know he doesn't. That's why he. Oh, I think he could have. He went home to the house. He goes, I have. I have. No, he actually has that Starlink crap and he said, I'm here gaming relaxing. Can I help you? I go, I will come home. You will never see that. You will never see that permanent. No. Yes. No, he's got a whole bachelor pass. On the ocean with an outdoor shower. Is that the fridge? You know what the most important thing was? I got a boot ahead, like a six by six big boot ahead because I'm competing with a park that is next door and there was some sort of sculptural piece there. And I said, fuck it, put a big boot ahead up on that. I want everybody to know like, yo, we're bringing in the Zen. Let's go. I'm staying calm through this process. So this guy Johnny, he builds the outdoor shower and bills Taylor, she pays for it. There are no corrections. Oh, shit. I forgot this is your business. You're winding me up like a towel. Wow. There are no corrections. He just made made that up. He wrote the. Corrections. He purposely made mistakes. He wrote the list. No, the worst is my architect is French and like half the time he's talking to me, I'm like, I don't understand what he's saying. You know, Junice Pa, what? And so anyway, yes, he's talking to the city. So they're probably like, okay, it's moving along. It's moving along. It's moving along guys. How long did it take for you to get your permits? I don't. We haven't submitted yet because he's giving me plans right now. We're making decisions. I have a zoom with him tomorrow. What's the urgency for him? Nothing. Nothing. A book signing. Right. You're right. He's not renting anywhere. Nowhere. I he's comfortable. You're right. I should have just got a beautiful garden. He makes fresh salads every day. Is this true? Yeah, it is a Persian salad. A Persian salad. Is it true? The Persian cucumbers are the best. The best. The best. I love that Mediterranean eating. And by the way, you're not going to get nine corrections with Jason. He's so thorough. For sure not. And you'll be lucky to get one. Do you guys even hear how you isolated me? You're on an island. You're targeting me. You're targeting me. What not to do. You're on an island. This is what not to do. But she's rich, rich. That's some bullshit. You got to work for what you have. She works her ass off. I didn't say she doesn't. She's, I mean, yeah, she has money, but she's, you know, she's doing 80s cruises. Decausamel and Decabo. Where are you? Where are you going? Dude, it was me and Brett Michael. We were all just, but we have fun because these people are, people are committed. They love the 80s. What are you going to do? I would do like an 80s concert, but I don't want to be on a cruise for six days. I don't want to be in a cruise period. So what do you do? Do you fly out? I don't say six. Yeah, I fly in and fly out. So you get on the, you get on the ship. This time we got in in Bahamas and Nile Rogers already played in Billy Ocean. They had done a show at the port there already. You know, this, this is big, big acts, you know, and then we got on the boat and then I did my, I did my two, I did two performances and I played the next two days and then I got off. So you were only really on one or two nights. Three nights. And then you're out. And right then my girlfriend Celeste, Celeste, I took Celeste with me. She's like, Oh, I want to go on the cruise. I wanted it. I wanted that. More complaints, more BS. From Celeste. Celeste. A constant non-fist. She's not a cruise person. Who? Celeste. I'm not either. Celeste. I guess Celeste. And I'm doing another one. I'm doing the old school cruise. That's coming up. I know. I know. I know. I know. I read about it. I don't want to be on a boat. Sorry. Because do you want to come on the ship? Keith Sweat. If you're on it, yeah. Keith Sweat. Everyone we grew up with. Dude, it's so RB. Keith Sweat, Lisa, Lisa, Expo's Day, Color Me Bad, like all the, all the bands we grew up with. All alone on a Sunday morning. Outside of here. Yeah. Morris. Morris Day is going to do it. Yeah. Wait. So where did you, on the last cruise you did, where did you, that was the 80s cruise. That was in March, right? That's a big one. You just did it. I just did it. Where did you, where did you get off the boat? Middle of the ocean? You're like, fuck it. No. Port Canaveral. You don't want to get off that. Basically, because I got on the second half. So they stopped in Freeport. I'm like, I'll be, I'll be on the ship. And then they stopped in Port Canaveral. And then Celeste is like, get a car. We're not staying here. We were off the boat by six AM. We're getting a car. We're going to drive. I have a place in, you know, Miami. So we, we just drove. Question. Do you have to stay in your room? Cause like, can you walk around the boat? Do you even want to walk? Not really. Is it because everybody's like, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. Yeah. I go when they're on excursions. Well, there is a lot of that. Yeah. And so that's why it's, you know, a bit of a, but if I had Max was, you know, swing hang and you know, that's what you sign up for when you're on a cruise. Did you go to the buffets? Damn, Skippy. Yeah. How, how were they? The easiest thing. You get sick of them after a few days. That's the problem. You're just like a buffet again. The omelet line is like 70 minutes long. What? Celeste complains about everything. 70 minutes is too long. Yeah. To wait for food. Well, who's up at eight getting a, getting an omelet? You. Yeah. Not me. I go, take it and put it in your little protein drink, suck it up and then go late. What time if I'm ever on an 80s cruise? What time do I have to get up to avoid the 70 minute buffet line? Come on. You know all about crisis. Dude, that's the last. I drink probably. Can we call the last? I ever got up. Celeste on the phone. Dude, I, the only time I got an omelet when my road manager's wife brought me one, I was like, thank you, Hillary. They're up at like six, seven pumping weights, you know. The old school cruise, which sounds fun is sold out. Yeah. So six days, five nights. People love this crap. Is it a carnival cruise? I don't know. I don't even know. This one is. The old school is. But this one is carnival panorama. Wait, this one's going to Cabo, I think. Right? Absolutely. It's going out of Long Beach. Okay. So you, you get on in Long Beach. Supposedly. How many nights are you going to be on? I think three again, four. It's a three night trip. You're going to be on the whole three nights? How many acts are you doing? I'm doing two shows. Two shows. How many songs? You can't get off when they're in the middle of, how many songs? Oh, I'm probably doing a 60 minute set. No shit. Last one I did a 90 minute. You got Brad. We did 90 minute shows. It was full bank. Oh yeah. Okay. So it goes to Cabo. Does everyone exit the ship and then fly home? Do I look like a cruise director? No, they come back. They come back. Their cars are in Long Beach. I don't know. I'm Jamie Wobbings. Julie's. Sometimes cruises will start in one place and end in another. I'm trying to promote your shit. I love you. I love you. I'm not a bitch. It's sold out. Do I look like a cruise director? She doesn't need you to promote it. It's sold out. No, it's true. But I'm trying to promote the next one. What's the next one? The 17th, the 18th? Those are the ones that need, what about the 12th in Chicago? You're so aggressive with me. I'm just asking questions. You must have had a tough time with the child this morning. No, I didn't. There's something called the first one. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. No, I didn't. What? You have to get up for that. Fine. We would be all over that casino, Jeff. Okay, please don't get mad at me. I just have a simple question. Okay, I'll keep it simple. Okay, you get on the boat in Long Beach. That's what they tell me. You get to Cabo. Are you staying on the boat or getting off in Cabo? off in Cabo and flying home. Should I ask Mitch? I think I am getting off the boat and going on another one. Mitch? Another boat? No, you're good. Oh, she's going in Nashville. Oh, you're flying in Nashville. Oh, that's right. I have a private show in Nashville. So you're getting off the boat and she's flying from Cabo to Nashville. That's right. Okay, good. These are the questions. Isn't that lovely? I think that's a wonderful question. God, you work a lot to pay for that house that you can't live in. I'm gonna rather shoot myself right now. I'm gonna give one. I think at any point of clarification on the house, you bought the house but never moved in and you're still waiting on permits to do demo. And it's been a year. And it's been a year. And her boyfriend lives there. But the inside, do you think... Someone was murdered? No. Thank God the boyfriend's there because we know from friends of ours, squatters will move right in. It's unbelievable. I see people on the other hand playing. That's why. I changed the locks. I ratted you out. I texted... You ratted me out? I texted Maris and I was like, a caller called in and said, you and Jamie had the flirts. You and Jamie had the flirts. They did in the beginning. Renee called in and said, you guys had the flirts. They did have the flirts in the beginning. And you know it, Reza. Not anymore. Jamie? There was a connection. Well, that's lovely. I mean, compared to Tommy. I mean, come on. Why is everybody covering their mouth? It was Tommy, dad. Yeah. Yeah. He really was. Oh, Tony was drama. Yeah, that's not good. Tommy. She pants is no drama. No drama. Tommy, not Tony. Tony's drama too. What's Tony? I don't know. Is he on the cruise? Yeah, my cruise. No drama. I feel like I'm like... Where'd you stay on the cruise? You didn't drive from Santa Barbara, did you? Not today. Where'd you stay? I stayed at a little bungalow. No, I stayed at one of my friends' house. Oh, nice. I have some nice friends up on Mulholland, you know. They offer me rooms. What about you? Maybe I'll go to Martin Ballard's next time. Maybe I'll stay with some of my other friends. Well, how many nights is it? How many nights? Because I... I don't like conditions. That's why I'd rather stay at a hotel. I have two guest rooms. But it depends on how many nights. Well, you have that cat, the kid. You got a lot of things. I got two cats, a dog, and a kid. That's not for me. You know what? I did it all. You have kids. They're 24. And you have a cat. I got rid of her. I gave her to the daughter. I gave her Lucy. I didn't even... Johnny's like, I'm allergic to her. What do I have to say? It's not even that. I was like, I was gone so long. I was gone all of February. And it was like, you can have a trial period, Astaria, with Lucy. And then she sends me pictures of her like, you know, doing that drippling. Biscuits. They drool and... What's that? They make biscuits. Oh, biscuits. That's it. Biscuits on her breasts. I go put a bra on. Because I don't need to see all of them. Not a bra, a bra. I don't see that. A bra. Put a bra on, Astaria. And the cats just don't... I don't need to see that. No, Reza has... Reza has four cats. I'm down with the cats. I have two cats. Just close your door. What does that mean? I live in a guest house. No, if you stay with me, close the guest room door. Now the cats go everywhere. Your house starts to early for her. I'm not worried about it. The cats, yeah, but the kids go everywhere. She's worried Monroe's gonna go through her stuff. I watched how he does things. He has set out a tent, then the tent had the cats in it, and the kids supposed to be in the tent, but the kids didn't play in the tent the cat did. It was all very... Remember that? No, I never read any of that. That was called... That was called... Yeah, COVID times. At Hollywood, we had that pink tent in the main room. That was in my living room forever. Yes, it's coming back. Well, it never left me. That tent was there for a year, you're right. And then there was lights on the tent. Do you remember one time I showed up a day early? To radio? Dude, for his interview with his house. And it was at my house. And he goes, what are you doing here? Dude, I'm supposed to be here. And I go, and he goes, no, you're not. You're coming tomorrow. And I go, Joe in! I just screamed on top of my lungs, my PR. I was like, you gotta be kidding me. She just walked in the door. That's amazing. Like, let's go. It was kind of funny, though. It was so good. It was a nice surprise to have Taylor Dane just show up at your house. Hello, a day early. I did that at Les Moonves, his house, too. Did Joanne tell you the wrong date? No, but my girlfriend gave me the wrong address. And guess what? They even gave me the gate code. And it happened to be Les Moonves. And the same gate codes, the neighbor had the same one in Bella. And I swear to God, I walked right up the security. I was just waving. I had a shirt on. Johnny was wearing a Taylor Dane t-shirt. I had a bottle. I want to go, I go, where's the party at? Where's the party at? We go in there. And his wife, who you know who his wife is, she's like, hi, in a house dress and like something. Is everybody at the tennis course? Because I'm not seeing everybody at the party. And she goes, we're not having. She goes, Taylor, you're good friends with Leah Remini. And I'm like, well, yeah, but what's that got to? Are you having a party? I go, maybe the party was moved over her house. I didn't know what to think. And then she politely told me, you're supposed to be at the house next door. That's really funny. And the fact that I had her security code and the security let me in, a whole fiesta started up there. I know, but it's. No, but that's amazing. That's like sitcom 101 insane. Like open up your book with that kind of. We did that at Jackie Shummel's holiday party. Yeah, the driver dropped us up at the house next door. And we just walked right in the front door. And? Why do they have their front door unlocked? Was it great? They were very lovely. Were they in house, coach? Six of us. Yeah. Walked right in. I mean, we could have been shot. Six of you? Yeah. That's how it goes. That's the best thing. Cardi Wilson was with us. I mean, Cardi. Cardi's like my secret weapon. But we were one house. Yeah. We're doing a show together, too. Are you? Yeah. Wilson Phillips and I. I love that they're touring again. Yeah. Because they stopped for a long time. Well, China's home. Yeah. China lives in Santa Barbara. I didn't know that. Tell us your secrets. I just did a thing with them for Brian. Like maybe like four months ago. Yes, they spend everybody's up in Santa Barbara. What are you guys doing? Living in your guest house in your house? He's like, yeah. I mean, I'm in my house right now until I get the plans. I move in my house April 24th, the new one. That's amazing. Three years. But I did what you did. I sat there and waited six months for permits. And I was dealing with the HPOZ, Historical Preservation Novel. Yeah, I get it. They're the ones that held me up. Oh, I bet. I think, I mean, I didn't do it. I mean, I did a lot of work, but I wasn't moving walls or anything. So that all. I don't want to say any of that out loud. That could have all been easy permits. But it was. You actually said that stuff? It was the HPOZ. I wouldn't have done that. That sounds like an injection. Wait, what are you talking about? HPOZ. HPOZ. I mean, it sounds like. Oh, no, no. They watch. We have trouble. They watched that when I started doing things without asking them, they put me on the watch list. And then they were real tough on me. Now you're red flagged. Yep. They, I think they're happy with me. She called you a red fag. She did. Flag. I didn't say red fag. I said red flag. I don't know why you're hearing those things, Reza. I actually think they're very happy with work. I'm not a house. I think they're real happy. I think it exceeded their expectations. I would kill to have you in my neighborhood dropping those kinds of coins and beautifying. They should have rolled out the red carpet for you. But they gave me, they did give me a lot of shit in the beginning. What did the Jews say? Serious. Unnecessary pain in the Kishkas. Yeah. I mean, I kind of brought it up on myself though. I thought I was going to just like ask for forgiveness. You got to ask for permission with those people. Yeah. It's not Bravo. Yeah, you're right. Oh, by the way, my brother hit a pothole, totaled his car. Just like Zeddy did. So Zeddy is. My husband. Yeah. Sepulveda. Totaled his car, Taylor. Wow, that's some pothole. Yep. It's like a sinkhole. Are we talking about how disastrous LA streets are these days? Or what are we running through? No joke. My husband totaled his. BMW. No, it was a GLB 250. It had like 15,000 miles. It was in pristine condition. He hit a pothole. Frame damage. Frame damage. Same thing with Todd. Totaled out. Yeah, same thing. Is it Sepulveda? No. What street were you on? He got off on Cold Water Canyon and Insurance Oaks. Yeah, by the one on one there. Yeah, Riverside. Yes, exactly. Whoa. That's horrible. That's where Todd was. Like 405. I think Todd was on the 405. So how does the insurance look at that? Like California has no fault policy? Like what is it? Yeah, they just. They totaled the car. No, they totaled the car. But they pay off the loan. They come up with some stupid amount of what they think it's worth. And then there was a deductible. Right, you lose money. You 100% lose money. By the way, the book signing, if you guys can't make it on April 7th for Reza's, Susan Lucci is going to be at the Grove on 420. I mean, if you have to choose. Why are you parking? Is Susan Lucci a chump? I bet she is. Why are you? She should be. We love Susan Lucci. He's a pot stirrer. Can you not just hype the person that's here? OK, when you sell out, which you will, then we'll buy Susan Lucci's tickets. Yes, after. So OK, you're right. You think Susan Lucci will go to a cheesecake factory? And pay? She doesn't eat. She doesn't eat. I don't think so. She doesn't look like she eats. She's on that HPOZ shot. Again, in populations. I think we're all on a lot of that now. Past that point. So April 7th. Yes. Now it's 34. You didn't mention the $4. I think processing fee. That changes things. It does change things. It makes us look at Susan Lucci a little harder. You don't think Susan Lucci has a processing fee? No. She does. She's so loaded. She doesn't need it. Literally. She's loaded too. I don't assume anything, Susan. So if you want to discuss, don't worry. So it's not 30.75 or whatever. It's what is it? 34.75? Is that what it is? It's $35. But you get a copy of the book. And listen, a fan's social is thousands of dollars. So if you look at it, you're saving money. By coming to the Grove, you'll see me. There'll be crystal. And he's cute. He's cute. Crystal will be there. So how long is it going to be? It's not that long. Like how long? Like an hour. Like an hour. What are you going to say? He's going to read excerpts from his book. Yeah. I'm going to talk about the book. And there'll be a Q&A. So if you have a question. I do. I do have a question. What's your question? She read the book. She read the whole book. She did. She was texting me. She read the whole book. Yes. I wanted to hear more about your relationship with your dad when he moved to New York and how that all. You need to ask that question at the book signing. OK. I'll save it for the book signing. I have a few more. Thank you. Have you picked out your outfit yet? No. I'm working on it. It's going to be Persian. You told me you never looked at me. I didn't. My dad did. Oh, well, that explains your love for me. My dad. When my parents got a divorce, my dad moved back to New York with this tail between his legs. I went back to his family. So I'm just curious. Like, a little follow up. So your outfit's going to be Persian. Yeah, of course. What does that mean exactly? I don't know. I need it. That was worth it. I'm not any inspired. Like, I need to get like a Rolex or something. Like, a gold Rolex. And I need to get like a cute shoes. Taylor Jane is very Persian. Hello. Did you see we're matching in the Rollies? Are those real? My breasts? Yeah. Just so everybody can hear, Jeff. There's no interest of this to you. None. Well, I'm just curious. He's interested. At this point, they should. They're probably real because it's like 25 years in. So I don't think that anything that was put in is really outstanding right at this point. So. Well, that Johnny's a lucky guy. Nah, Johnny says, go get him fixed all the time. What's wrong with him? Everything. What is wrong? There's nothing wrong with him. He's the funniest. I laugh every night of the day. Every time I'm with him, I crack up. Does he like smaller breasts? Is he wanting to get a reduction? He wants bigger, the better. Oh, does he want to? Celeste is going for a reduction. He goes, don't ask any man what you're doing, because that's Ashonda. Of course she was. Another Jewish word, I think. So he wants you to go even bigger? He goes, ah, just lift him up. Lift him up. I'm like, who on my list of shit I have to do? You think my boobs? I'm saying it nicely. My tits are on the highest part. I go, how about getting the permits? That's what I do. I turn around, I go, how about the structural permits? So I can knock these down. I bet you if you get the boobs done, he'll get you those permits lickety-split. I ain't worried about pants. No, I'm a blikety-split. You hold him over his head. Whoever from Santa Barbara is hearing this, I love you. Switch to Plusnet's award-winning full fibre from just $22.99 a month. Our sweet deal gets you fast and reliable broadband with no activation fee, with speeds up to 900 megabits. Ooh, feels like a sugar rush. Full fibre that's full of value. That's a plus. Offer ends 6th of May. 24 months, 26.99 from the 31st of March, 2027. 30.99 from the 31st of March, 2028. New customers only. 62% UK availability. Terms apply. Crisp, vibrant and bursting with citrus. Villamarrilla's New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc is the perfect wine, made to be enjoyed on every occasion. Whether you're soaking up the sun in your garden, hosting a backyard barbecue, or unwinding after a long day, the zesty lime and lush tropical fruits are always delicious. Tri-Villamarrilla Sauvignon Blanc, a vibrant New Zealand wine that's perfect for every occasion. Available at all good wine retailers. For someone who has seen Taylor Dane perform live, I strongly, strongly, strongly recommend she's incredible, her voice is incredible. For tour dates, where do people go? Okay, coming up right now, guys. Well, first of all, go to tataldigidane.com, because that's the easiest, and of course, my Instagram. April 12th, I'm gonna be in Chicago at the Rose Mod at Joe's Live, which is a really cool new little venue, and I'm excited about it. April 12th, April 17th, Bessellum, Pennsylvania? Ben Salem. Ben Salem. Ben Salem. Ben Salem, thank you for saving me. And that's April 17th, April 18th. Woon Socket, Rhode Island. Are these Indian lands? Fun towns. I know. April 28th to May 3rd, as Jeff politely was telling us all about, I'm gonna be on the old school sold out cruise. Dude, that's gonna be some hip music playing on that. And then I come back. The buffets are incredible. Oh my God, the omelettes. Then I have a private show. It's worth the 70 minutes. In Nashville. And then I leave for Honolulu on May, and my May 6th, May 7th. I have a beautiful show in Hawaii in Honolulu. Hello. So exciting. I feel like you're reading this for the first time. You had no idea you were going to Honolulu. No, I didn't. You don't know. I feel like, right? Well, I had to think about the private show and then there's something else I'm doing on May 2nd. You're doing a private show in Nashville after the, see I know your schedule now. But then I have another show on May 2nd. What is it? What is that Mitch? What's the other show on May 2nd? Yes, check the phone. Oh, even Mitch doesn't know. He's looking at his phone. Yes, you do. God, you work that much, but nobody can keep track. Oh, Atlantic City on May 2nd. I'm in Atlantic City on, that's a pretty big venue. That's big. Dude, hello. I tried to say it, May 2nd. Are we going to go gamble? I'm in Atlantic City. Can we go gamble? I would be my honor if you guys would show up. You, because there will be a lot of fun people. You know what we need? Supposedly I'm even headlining. Do I get to say that? May 2nd, I'm in Atlantic City. Can we get her at Agua Caliente? Because then we go down to Palm Springs. I agree with you. This is what I want. Yeah. I wanted to do it for pride, but pride came with it. We got to get her to Agua Caliente and then we can gamble. Yes, yes. And I still want to go to that jewelry resale place that you, I'm not telling anybody. I'll tell Taylor later. Watches, watches, watches. Everything. I love me some watches. Great deals. I'm like you. I love me some. Girl, I'm in a boat boat. I'm loving that. Are you in the- Oh, let's go. I'm a jewelry hoe. You will not do lab grown, right? No. Yeah, same. I think it's a bad investment. No, I'm not. I mean, I'm okay with it for other people, but not for myself. Right. You know what I will say? Somebody, I didn't get to the caller unfortunately, but she's like, why do all these people in Beverly Hills carry around the same bag, which is the Birkin? Sure. And what I was going to say to her, it's an investment. My stepmom just got one last year. About two years ago. She bought it from Hermes for 15 grand. She could sell it online right now for 25. It outperforms the stock market. In a year. Jeff, Birkins and Kelly bags, especially the hard to get ones, they outperform the stock market. Which one is that, the 33 inch? Which one? They all do it. Like the baby Kelly. I saw the baby Kelly. My hair guy is doing the baby Kelly. I'm just saying it is my staple. I have it two bags and that's... Yeah. Yeah, it is what it is. Right now I'm not rocking anything. You're carrying a paper bag from Cyclops. But when my fans give me my little pouches that I can throw things in. If they make them and they give them to me, I love them too. That's cute. Of course, that's no Birkin, but the Birkins, 1,000%. Can you write down that goyard that we're having monogram from Monroe? Yeah. What do you think about men carrying Birkins? We need to pick that up. We need to follow up. My little boy's doing it. He's doing it. But he wears it well. I don't know, really. And he's a straight dude, right? Hell no. He's doing my hair and makeup. What? Yeah, I'm sorry. What straight? What part did you hear? I mean, Steve Harvey has the gentle portion. No, I don't want to be spicy tailored today. I got a low down. Maybe it's a testosterone. We have to check in with that, huh? The endocrinologist. Wait, does Astaria, does she live in Santa Barbara? Yes, she does. Are you staying with her? Hell no. And the kitty? The kitty stays with her, and I went there and I unloaded the kitty box and I told her, if I see neglect here, I will take the cat back. She had like eight litter maneuvers in there. And I go, that's not Lucy's style. Lucy's used to mommy who cleans out. She goes right in there. Yep, same. I don't let things accumulate for a day. Same. The second it's there, I'm waiting with the scooper. I'm waiting with the scooper. Yep, yep, same. You're on the litter robot? Fuck no. No, I love that whole thing. We go in there 25 times a day, minimum. Jeff, we're the same. Yep. And you know what, my house does not smell like cats. No. Because we are constantly cleaning, scooping, yes. Yep. Well, I'm down with that. I mean, if anything gives me more relaxation, it would be my Dyson. Oh, really? Nothing gives me better calm. You know what? Then running around with my Dyson, I could be naked. I could be in shorts. Generally, Johnny's like put something on. And I'm with that Dyson, rolling around the house, love it. It's funny, a lot of people, some people. Peace. Yes, they get relaxation from folding laundry or vacuuming. Think about the repetitiveness of it and the real. You know what you would love? And the sense of completion. My new house, you have to put this in your house. Central vacuum. Yep. Hauling around a massive heavy vacuum. Nope, you gotta do it. The Dyson's not heavy. You have little adapters in every room. And you just have this hose and you walk in. Oh, the hose I've seen that. You open it up, you plug it in. There's no hauling around. There's no plugging in. That hose is crazy. Well, that's why I put in a lot of adapters. Okay, I was going to say. So what they do like. Celeste has one of those in the Hamptons. Here's the problem, Celeste. She doesn't have enough adapters. I have one in every room. So I don't need the 100 foot long hose. Michelle makes sure Celeste hears this. They're listening. They were in New York listening to this. Celeste fucked up. Do you have the thing in the kitchen where you can sweep right into a hole as well? I want that, but I don't have that. So Celeste got a reduction, huh? How do they look? No, they didn't. Not yet. She's not reduced yet. They were live and I've never seen normal breasts look pretty good for her. I mean, she's, I'm like, you shouldn't mess with those. Marissa's boobs look amazing, by the way. She got them reduced. They look like 25 year old boobs. Any scars? I mean, I didn't. But it's definitely scars. I didn't ask to look at the scars, but they look amazing. Okay, cause I've seen some botched jobs where they look, you know, they look good until you go up close and then there's like, you know, scar after scar after scar. That's what you gotta be careful about. I'm not worried about my boobs. I already got it. They already came for me, remember? Okay. Because you know, after, I mean, you probably should switch out your implants after 25 years. They're probably completely dissolved by now. You're right. I still need a house permit. I'll put like I said again, priorities boys. Priorities, priorities. I'll get the, yeah, I have to pay off my windows and doors first. Now your kids are 24 now. Yeah, they're adults. Did they get their driver's license right at 16? No, no, we had this discussion. My daughter was like 18. Oh, maybe I'll get it. I'm like, who thinks like this? She goes, ah Uber. I go, you're ridiculous. I go, I couldn't even wait to like, what happened? You got your DMV? Sandy, California, line two for Taylor Dane. This is important. Let's go. Hi, Sandy. Hey, good morning, champs. Good morning. Oh, champs at you. Hey, Sandy. Retard building official. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, go in there, every day. Be a thorn in their side. Believe me. Speed dialing the official every day. And she's writing it down, Sandy. I take notes. She's writing it down. I take notes. You know what? I'm a very good listener. You can't remember this. Follow up. We have to write it down. Speed dialing the official. Oh, no, I'm listening to her. Okay. And find out who your city council member is in the same thing. They get so sick of these people calling them that they'll march into that building official and say, what is going on here? You know? And then maybe since there might be a language barrier, just saying, you know, you might be needed. Well, they, you know, those plan checkers, they just get whatever. Anyway, so you listen to her, huh? You're starting to bring up all this stuff. Sandy, I have a question. I have two questions. Number one, nine corrections is not good, right? Well, you had that. No, I didn't have you had nine. Okay, nine corrections. So what are they? Are they? Oh, we can't get into it now. But, but, but Sandy, I see your number popped up. Don't, don't, don't hesitate if you get a three to three call. Pick it up. Pick it up, Sandy. Hey, Sandy, I'll give you advice. I work for a consultant up north right now. But anyway, sounds like you, you know how to handle these officials. Sandy, I got a question. One more question for you. So about five years ago, I had some difficulty getting permits for retaining walls and I hired a permit expediter, which really, really helped me a lot. Do you recommend that Taylor Dane hires a permit expediter? Yeah, because you have one person and a thing and nine corrections to me, it depends on what those corrections are. If it's stupid stuff, then just put it on the plans. You know what I mean? Just red line them on the plan. We'll do it. These last ones are stupid. Otherwise, they're going to nickel and dime you to death. Yeah, I'm talking about the plans, records and somebody has to say knock it off and let this red line these. Do we need some structural stuff? Let's get that done and then we're out of there. Thank you, Sandy. Thank you so much. Thanks, chomp. Have a good day. Also, I want to take this time. I strongly recommend and I want to promote the Susan Lucci book signing on April 20th at Barnes & Noble at the Grove. You do not want to miss that evening. I know I don't want to miss it. I don't want to miss a minute of it. We should go to cheesecake then as well. Do you think Susan will pay for cheesecake for you guys to hang out prior to her event? All by her cheesecake. I love her. I was talking to Mitch over here and Mitch is on it. He just said to me, I just spoke to Taylor's agent. They're going to do a Palm Springs show in September. Hopefully at Agua Caliente so we can gamble, Reza. Let's go. Maybe Susan Lucci can come with us. We should invite her. I just played there though, didn't we? Go back so we can come. I'll go back. It was great room. Great fun. They have a good little theater, Mitch was saying. I mean, but you know, they're all low ceiling, but you know, I'll blow it up. Is it true? Well, I wanted to ask you. So you probably don't know this, but Reza was on the show called Shaws of Sunset that went on for like 11 years, nine seasons, nine years, something like that. Then now he has a new show called the Valley Persian style. He did mention that he is in very good shape today, but he was a little heavier during the show. And talking about GLPs now. Stress eating. So are there any more texts calling you a fat fuck? No more. I blocked that person because I do not need to be texted. You ugly fat fuck. I hope you die. You know, just randomly while I'm trying to join my day. He was like, who is this? Why are they texting you? He should be going on there like Johnny does and then writing back like, you know, I didn't even know Johnny gets teed up and writes people back. Why don't your husband go write him back? Say, who the fuck are you? I'm coming after you. Like, you know, that kind of stuff because Jeff told me don't engage. They want you to engage. They want you to engage. That's for sure. But you had to block him. I mean, I why would he keep going? Who knows? I always block those. I don't block anybody. I don't want to. Well, on text, you should. They write nastiness. Yeah, I don't block him. Oh, you love. And I leave the comments up there. Oh, my lanta. So I mean, you have thick skin. And I think it's funny. I don't know. I think it's kind of funny when people react and get all crazy. Yeah, I'm good. I'm entertained by it. Are you so as you don't know this Taylor, but basically every night, Reza and his partner, they look at each other, they hold hands and they do nightly check ins and they say stupid shit. Like, what can I do for you? And how can I make tomorrow? How can I make tomorrow even greater for you? Therapy. Probably. 100%. Therapy. That's 100%. You know how I look you deeply in the eyes. They went to a couple's therapist before it broke apart. We sure did. So now these two are doing it over here. Frank and Jameson. I love it. I think it's so cool. So you seriously are doing it every night? Yeah, we're checking in. I absolutely love it. I think it's such a great way to set up the next day. Thank you. What are some things you've heard from Frank? That I'm doing a great job. See, I don't want to ask Ty because I don't want to work on anything. There it is. It would be a long list. And you know, I want to finish the show, pour another glass of wine. I don't want to. It's literally two minutes in bed before you go to sleep while you're looking at each other. Who goes to sleep the same time? I do. I do. Me and Brooke. I don't. Well, you sleep in separate homes. You don't go to sleep in the same house. There's that too, but it's not really true. But I understand what you're saying. And you know, there's a lot when you make a commitment, but this is all work in progress, right? We're all works in progress. Have you given Frank any feedback? No, we're like generally, we're like pretty good communicators, but I like adding on this layer. I think it's really healthy and thanks for the inspiration. You two appreciate you, Jameson. So you two nerds are doing it every night? Yeah, almost every night. We do go to bed at the same time. So we're able to chat a little before we go to bed. That's wonderful. Yeah. But you ever like one night like, oh, here we go. No, because we also know what's coming up. We're pretty good communicators. Sorry. Jeff, if you're doing it regularly, it's there's not going to be some big like, oh my God, something coming up. Is he even in a relationship now? Yes. Really? Are you looking at me? Oh, yeah. I'm seeing somebody. Seeing. He's a wonderful. He's a wonderful man. Yes. I've met him a few times. And I very much enjoyed his company. Which is why it's working. Just say that. Mitch, what do I always say to you? Less is more. Less is more. Less is more. Expect less. We're too old. That's why. We don't want the drama. I really don't. Just want peace. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every week on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.