The Jamie Kern Lima Show

GaryVee Pt 2: Life-Changing Lessons on AI, Social Media & More! Gary Vaynerchuk

59 min
Aug 26, 20258 months ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

Gary Vaynerchuk discusses mindset, self-worth, and navigating success without an inner critic. He addresses AI's impact on employment, the importance of authenticity on social media, and how unconditional love and accountability drive long-term success and happiness.

Insights
  • Eliminating self-judgment requires not judging others; practicing judgment creates susceptibility to both criticism and excessive need for validation
  • Resilience to negative comments comes from not believing positive comments either; detachment from validation creates immunity to both praise and criticism
  • AI will disrupt jobs like tractors did farming, but new jobs will emerge; the real question is societal adaptation, not technological replacement
  • Authenticity at scale requires maintaining core values regardless of success level; most successful people become less authentic as they gain influence
  • Unconditional love and lack of transactional expectations in relationships creates freedom and reduces vulnerability to manipulation
Trends
Shift from validation-seeking to purpose-driven content creation as a path to sustainable influence and audience growthRise of emotional intelligence and mental health awareness as competitive advantages in personal branding and business leadershipGenerational divide in social media usage: early platforms (2006-2009) were optimistic; mass adoption brought negativity and heavinessAI anxiety among professionals driving demand for guidance on future-proofing careers and skills developmentAuthenticity premium: audiences increasingly reward leaders who maintain consistent values across public and private personasUnconditional kindness as business strategy: compassion-based leadership outperforms transactional relationship models long-termCreator economy maturation: personality-driven brands evolving into operational businesses with significant revenue and team structuresDetachment from outcomes as performance optimization: emotional lightness correlates with faster execution and better results
Topics
Inner Critic Elimination and Self-JudgmentValidation Addiction and Comment SusceptibilityAI Impact on Employment and Job DisplacementAuthenticity in Personal Branding at ScaleUnconditional Love and Relationship DynamicsSocial Media Negativity and Platform EvolutionAccountability vs. Criticism MindsetTransactional vs. Unconditional RelationshipsEmotional Detachment and PerformanceKindness as Competitive AdvantageCreator Economy Business ModelsMindset and Success PsychologyCompassion-Based LeadershipContent Creation StrategyFuture-Proofing Careers in AI Era
Companies
VaynerMedia
Gary's $360M+ annual revenue digital agency that transformed Madison Avenue; operates as his primary operational busi...
VaynerX
Gary's holding company and chairman role; umbrella organization for his various business ventures
VFriends
Gary's entertainment and collectibles company described as next Pokemon, Marvel, and Disney; major current focus
Facebook
Early investment by Gary; example of successful early-stage tech investment decisions
Twitter
Early investment by Gary ($44,000); used as example of wealth-building opportunities for average people
Snapchat
Early investor; part of Gary's portfolio of successful tech investments
Uber
Early investor; demonstrates Gary's track record identifying transformative companies
Coinbase
Early investor; shows Gary's early adoption of cryptocurrency and blockchain technology
Venmo
Early investor; part of fintech investment portfolio
Tumblr
Early investor; social platform investment from Gary's portfolio
People
Gary Vaynerchuk
Primary guest; discusses mindset, AI, social media, business philosophy, and personal values
Jamie Kern Lima
Podcast host conducting interview; discusses self-worth, authenticity, and personal experiences
Mona
Gary's wife; described as love of his life; recently married; mentioned regarding family and partnership
Oprah Winfrey
Quoted as endorsement/testimonial for Jamie Kern Lima Show; not directly interviewed
Melinda French Gates
Quoted as endorsement/testimonial for Jamie Kern Lima Show; not directly interviewed
Quotes
"I do not have an inner critic. I have a massive inner accountable coach. That's a very different thing."
Gary Vaynerchuk
"By not judging others, you don't practice the concept of judgment which allows you to not judge yourself."
Gary Vaynerchuk
"If you want to become addicted to the cheering, you become susceptible to the booing."
Gary Vaynerchuk
"People that are looking forward bring light. People that are looking backwards bring dark."
Gary Vaynerchuk
"We're not like this now because we made it. We made it because we were like this."
Gary Vaynerchuk
Full Transcript
Coming up in this incredible part two episode with Gary Vaynerchuk. This could literally be... Like... This could be the single thing that changes people's lives that are listening. I've never had this conversation with anybody. AI, social media, are any of us going to have a job in a few years? It's unbelievable how easy that question is for me and how quickly I can answer it. From advice on mindset and how to succeed on social media with AI and entrepreneurship and how to know exactly what's coming next and what to do about it in a world of technology and AI that's changing by the second. I am so excited for this conversation. I have never answered this question. I do not have an inner critic. A, I don't really criticize other people. In fact, I would argue the reason so many people listening judge themselves is they're spending too much time judging others. By not judging others, you don't practice the concept of judgment which allows you to not judge yourself. Do you believe God exists? Yes, you do. I do. If I can show men and women that you can build an empire and be a mother f***ng gangster and be a really nice person, that would be a tremendous accomplishment. Every single negative comment that I have ever gotten has been immediately reacted to with deep compassion. Do you know how stinky your life is if you spend time going on the internet? You've actually spent a few minutes of your life to go to another human being social media account and leave something nasty. Misery loves company. That is a miserable act. What would I tell those people? It's not going to kill your business. There's not one restaurant that's out of business in this world with a one-star Yelp review that's nasty. It has never happened. How to protect themselves from the negative comments is to not believe the positive comments. People are susceptible to criticism and negativity because they're over in need of positive reinforcement. If you want to become addicted to the cheering, you become susceptible to the booing. If you're someone who says they need to earn my trust, I ask you to do the mental work to get out of that mindset. It means you're scared. It means you're emotionally weak. It means you're scared someone can hurt you. Congratulations to your newlywed. Yes. Your newlywed. Yes. Your wife, Mona. What is greater than love? Yeah. Like what? We now know that you want more kids. Yeah. First on the Jamie Kernli humor. Like, you know, I think people just like everything just like every ounce of it. We're not like this now because we made it. We made it because we were like this. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. You know how real that was, right? That's so real. It's like so uncomfortably right. James, this stuff is like so fun to talk about. I'm so in the zone with you right now. So I'm getting to see the goosebumps at the arms. I'm getting to see the tears well in your eyes. I'm getting to see like to feel the light energy. If you're emotionally light and you love everything and you just let it go, you're fucked faster. Yeah. So good. Gary is a serial entrepreneur and serves as the chairman of VaynerX, the CEO of VaynerMedia and the CEO and creator of the entertainment and collectibles company, The Friends. Gary is considered one of the leading global minds on what's next in culture, business and the internet. He was an early investor in companies like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Venmo, Snapchat, Coinbase and Uber. He's a six-time New York Times bestselling author and documents his daily life as a CEO through his social media channels, which have more than 45 million followers. His podcast, The Gary V. Audio Experience, ranks amongst the top podcasts globally. He's a newly wed to his wife, Mona, a dad of two, and he's the person millions of people look to daily. And he's taken time out of his busy schedule. He's flown here. He's in person on the podcast just for you today. And whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Curran Lima Show podcast family. Thank you so much for being here. And can you take two seconds right now and just hit the subscribe or follow button on the app that you're listening or watching on? Thank you so much. That truly means so much to me. You can also get your inspiration into your inbox from me for free. You can join my newsletter community at jamiecurranlima.com. Also, this incredible podcast to episode today, it's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person you know who might need some inspiration today or perhaps a boost in their self-belief. Because what you can hear today can truly impact mine, yours and their lives too. Welcome to the Jamie Curran Lima Show. Oprah, how have you defied the odds? Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug, but your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow. Melinda French Gates. When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. I could see the light around her. She's infused with light. Imagine overcoming self-doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Curran Lima Show. Jamie Curran Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Curran Lima in their life. Jamie Curran Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Curran Lima. I spend a lot of time with 18-year-old entrepreneurs about IRL streaming and AI and then 80-year-old real estate and those kind of characters. Yeah. You know, it's wild. I was in Copenhagen last week at a table in a restaurant and there's a couple next to me in their 80s. The guy's phone goes off and he's doing audio prompts to chat GPT. He's in his 80s. I'm like, the whole world is changing so fast. So much to ask you about VFRIENDS, about AI, about social media, about chat GPT, about all of it, about AGI, all of it. I want to ask you though, because this is such a big thing for people when it comes to their own inner critic in their own head. Do you ever feel like, do you ever feel your own inner critic? And if so, what do you do? How do you handle it? I don't have an inner critic. You have no inner critic? I have no inner critic. Nothing. No make it of thoughts? I have a massive inner accountable coach. That's a very different thing. Yeah, explain. I'll explain. Every other human being sucks too. I'm going to dramatically pause here right now. This could be the single thing that changes people's lives that are listening. Every other human being sucks too. I do not have an inner critic. This is potentially, I've never had this conversation with anybody. I've never thought about an inner critic. This is a fun moment for me too, in real time. I have never answered this question. I've never thought about this. That was really fun to answer. I do not have an inner critic. A, I don't really criticize other people. In fact, I would argue the reason so many people listening judge themselves is they're spending too much time judging others. By not judging others, you don't practice the concept of judgment, which allows you to not judge yourself. I do not criticize myself because I am aware that I will make unbelievable amounts of micro mistakes in my life. I have an inner accountable coach. I am not delusional. I do not look the other way with my shortcomings. I'm wildly accountable. In fact, I think everything in my life that isn't going well is 100% my fault. I'm accountable. I'm not critical. I'm not cynical to myself. I love myself unconditionally. I also love others unconditionally, even in the face of their shortcomings towards me, let alone the world. I do not have an inner critic, but I do have an accountable coach who might be the best accountable coach in the world. When you look at the data and you see 80% of women don't believe they're enough, 70% something percent of men feel inadequate and not enough, where do you think unworthiness comes from? Do you think it's comparison? Do you think it's not realizing everyone else's sex too? Envy, jealousy, the incredible thirst to put other human beings on a pedestal. Do you put anyone on a pedestal? My mom. Your mom. Yes, I put a lot of people on pedestal. You ready for this? Only if I find them unconditionally kind. I only put kindness on a pedestal. I do not put, I'm a die hard sports fan. I do not put athletic capability on a pedestal. I definitely do not put financial accomplishment on a pedestal. I definitely do not put fame and following count on a pedestal. These are things that most people put on a pedestal. And I think that's what's hurting them. I have, I, James, there are so many people that have made more money than me that I'm a better on paper businessman then because of, you know how business works, you're a business woman, timing, right place, right time, right? Like sold a company like later it was worth nothing a year later, but they were in the right place at the right time. I am happy for those people. I watch my fellow contemporaries be upset about that. I have almost no envy and jealousy. Why? Why would you ever not be happy for another person? Nobody's happiness, success comes at your expense. No one's not $1 made and not one smile and what not one joyous moment that another human being feels has any impact on your capacity to make a dollar, create a smile or have joy. Do you believe God exists? Yes, you do. I do. I think it's complicated. I feel like everyone's allowed to like have their version of it. But yeah, I've always felt that feeling. I like really believe heaven is a supercomputer. I like literally believe heaven is like this hangouts. Like I am going to be so pissed if it's not like that. Like I will be the most unhappy dead person in the history of death. If the second I die, I can't feel that I like know what's going on. Like if it's actually over, I'm going to be pissed. What do you think? Okay, that's funny to say out loud. I would be really pissed. Because you want to know all of it. Because I just love life so much that like, listen, fine, you don't want to give me a body walking around. You need to let me watch. You need to let me watch. God, you need to let me watch. I need to watch. You know? Plus I live my life for the day after I die. What do you mean? I believe the way I navigate life has a lot to do with my funeral. The way I show up, I'm really excited for my grandkids to see. Like I think they're going, no matter how successful and how well known I become, hopefully when I'm a hundred and die, I'll take a hundred. I still think my children and my grandchildren will be shocked how many people show up. Because I don't think people show up for how much money you make or how famous you become. I think they show up by how much you impacted them. And I believe that I really, on a day to day, hour by hour basis, show up for humans. Strangers, acquaintances, employees, contemporaries, friends, relatives, all of them. I really, do you know what my least favorite saying in society is? Nice guys finish last. It is my single, I don't use the word hate often. Like in general, it's not really in my bow cap. I hate that sentence. In fact, I've been thinking about starting a fashion brand called Nice Guys Finish First. Because I think a lot of men are confused. And women. And women. So thank you for saying that. Because when you said 80 and 70, I was like fuck, 99% of both men and women. I want to change that. Badly. That would be a great, if anything, if anything, if anything that I leave this world, if I can show men and women that you can build an empire and be a motherfucking gangster. And be a really nice person. That would be a tremendous accomplishment. Yeah. You mentioned hate and how you don't like that word. What's your advice for people who, because you know, this happens to so many people. There's doctors and lawyers that never, they don't want to be online, but they are. And their profile is and their Yelp reviews are. And they might be on Facebook with people in high school or so many people, as you know, are online every day. And that's how they communicate with their friends through all different platforms and the amount of vitriol and trolling. And how do you, how do you handle that? And also how do you advise other people who've lived a different life than you have and have a different makeup than you have? What do you advise them to do when like that stuff wants to knock them to their knees and take them out? It just has nothing to do with them. Fuck. And the compassionate catfish, the V friend, a dream of a day when everyone's wearing compassionate catfish, hoodies and hats. I ask you all, and this is a very high level of emotional strength. So I say this lightly. I tread lightly, everyone that's listening to all of you. My preference, if I had a magic potion that everybody could drink, what it would do is make them deal with that with compassion. James, I mean this from the bottom of my soul. Every single negative comment that I have ever had, and I have had many because I'm very public and I've been doing it for 20 years. And I poke at things. Ugh. You should have seen 15 years ago when I was yelling that college and college debt is crazy. Every parent on earth was sending me nasty DMs because the kids were getting affected. You're a family that loves college and everything's going smooth and then your kid starts watching Gary V on TikTok and your 16 year old has straight A's and is on their way to Stanford, walks in and says, I'm not going to school. I'm empathetic to why that parent quickly went to my DM and said, you're a piece of crap. Every single negative comment that I have ever gotten has been immediately reacted to with deep compassion. Do you know how stinky your life is if you spend time going on the internet? You've actually spent a few minutes of your life to go to another human being social media account and leave something nasty. Misery loves company. That is a miserable act. It is inconceivable to me to ever leave a negative comment on another human being on social media. So what would I tell those people? Hey, it's not going to kill your business. There's not one restaurant that's out of business in this world with a one star Yelp review that's nasty, has never happened. 500 of those might mean it's true. Not one, not two. Look at it from percentages. Jamie, you're going to love this because you've been incredibly successful and you've earned everything you've got and you've been around a lot of successful people at this point in your life. Do you know how many, and you might be one of these people, do you know how many people get, in fact, are you affected by negative comments? I think I'm not. I think I'm not and I'll share more in a second. But this is going to hit for you then because we obviously have a lot of friends and acquaintances and business associates that are. There are people who get 99.8% comments that they're the greatest, the most beautiful, the most wonderful, they're the goat. And then one comment that you're ugly, you stink, you're a scam, cripples them. It's because they heard the compliments. The reason I'm not affected, what I would like to ask everybody on how to protect themselves from the negative comments is to not believe the positive comments. Because when people 98% of the time leave unbelievably kind, warm, and overexcited, I mean, I get too much credit from most of my comments on my posts because I don't believe them that I'm the greatest, that I'm the goat, that I'm so iconic, that I'm so legendary, because I do not believe them. I do not hear them. When they say I'm the greatest, I'm doing this, which means when they're saying I'm the worst, I'm doing this. People are susceptible to criticism and negativity because they're over in need of positive reinforcement. If you want to become addicted to the cheering, you become susceptible to the booing. So good. So good. Okay. How do you ignore the good stuff and the bad stuff and still connect with community? By not making it about you. This is one big game of selflessness. The reason I'm rolling for 20 straight years, and by the way, I haven't even started. It's very clear to me that where I'm at right now is peanuts to where I'm going. Because I have the stomach to run the entire marathon. There is no burnout. I don't even begin the process of what could lead to burnout. Full detachment have no validation. How? I'm the most attached to community. This isn't about me. And everyone thinks it's about them. You know stuff. You know amongst the personalities of the world that are similar to me, I play it different. Like I'm not as, I'm ironically, even though I'm everywhere, I'm not really out. I'm not like red carpeting it. You know what I mean? I'm not really out. I'm in my cocoon, cooking my meals, doing my businesses, trying to put out stuff. Like it's not about me. I'm thrilled for the collateral things that come to me because of it. No crap if you do remarkably good things, good things will happen to you. In fact, I would argue karma is the most practical energy in the world. People act like karma is some sort of weird, lucky thing. Karma is your, the definition of karma to me at least is you are doing awesome things for lots of people all the time. Of course that leads to good things for you. The world loves you. I'll give you one. This should be interesting for your audience. We need to pause for a super brief break. And while we do take a moment and share this episode with every single person that you know who this could inspire. Because this conversation can truly be the words and inspiration that they need to hear today to keep going, to remember that they matter and to feel less alone and more enough, more connected and more worthy. In life, you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. And worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter. It's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to JamieCurneyLima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at JamieCurneyLima.com or in the link in the show notes. Do you struggle with negative self talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. When you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing. I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called five ways to overcome negative self talk and build self love. It's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jameycurlima.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below. And now more of this incredible conversation together. People act like karma is some sort of weird lucky thing. Karma is your, the definition of karma to me at least is you are doing awesome things for lots of people all the time. Of course that leads to good things for you. The world loves you. I'll give you one. This should be interesting for your audience amongst the 500 people that look like us personalities big flap, right? You know, I know you know this, that some of them are not talked about as nicely behind their backs that people really work with them or interact with them. I know I can put my head on my pillow so easily that the things that are said behind my back with the people that are actually in my inner circles are better than people think I am because you get extra credit for actually being authentic. We're so used to being disappointed by the people at their public facades to who they really are. I actually get extra credit for just being what I am. I want to just call out something you said because I think it's just so relevant to everybody that when you show up online, which is whether people like it or not, becoming such an increased part of their lives and community, and people are feeling more lonely than ever in so many cases, but when you talk about how your connection with everyone online, when you are sort of like it's not about you, like it's about them. So then when something comes at you that's like, oh, Gary V, I love you, oh, you're the best of the world, you're not taking that and you're not in need of that. Correct. The opposite comes like, oh, all the haters, you don't hear that either. Correct. You're there for the purpose. For the purpose. You're there for the person who like has no idea that you're seeing them with love and this and that and all the things that when you saw Derek and Gavin when you walked in and then you get goosebumps because you're thinking how much you love strangers. I love Derek and Gavin already. No, really, I mean this about, you know, they're lovable, but honestly, this is an interesting point. Everybody were like, you have to earn my trust. I'm like, oh man, that person's hurting. If you're sitting and listening right now in your car on the treadmill walking a dock, just like kind of like living, you're listening. If you're someone who says they need to earn my trust, I ask you to do the mental work to get out of that mindset. It means you're scared. It means you're emotionally weak. It means you're scared someone can hurt you. The reason I'm like that with Gavin and Derek and everybody, James, is because they can't hurt me. You know, people love dogs like unconditionally, but don't do that with humans. And their answer is, yeah, because the dog loves you unconditionally. No, it's because the dog doesn't talk. People, you know, it's just an incredibly, oh man, James, this stuff is like so fun to talk about. I'm so in the zone with you right now. Like, I'm getting so intoxicated knowing like what's happening on the other side of this podcast. Like I'm just wondering like what people are thinking, what they're jotting down. This goes back to the point of the whole thing. Like I built a big business for my father long before anyone knew who I was. I don't need anybody to make money. I don't need an audience for money. I'm a businessman. I also felt unconditional love and knew that money had nothing to do with happiness because I grew up in the most loving house of all time with no money. I don't need anything for anyone, James. I don't need anything. Do you know what that means to a human? Means you're left with only giving. I don't know what to say. Like I don't need anything. When you say Derek and Gavin can't hurt you. Yeah. Explain what you mean by that. For everyone at home who fears people can hurt them. Yeah, like I'm not looking for anything from Derek and Gavin. Most people want something from someone. Right? Have you ever noticed, I'm sure this has happened to you. Do you know how many nice things I've been offered that are just manipulation for something they want from me? Yeah. My favorite one always back in the day was, GaryVee, I'll pick you up at the airport and drive you to your hotel. I'm like, no shit. You're going to pitch me your business or ask me for advice. Like I just want to go in the back of a cab and just like, you know, decompress and call my kids. You know what I mean? But they were like, look this nice thing. I'm going to pick you up at the airport and take you to your hotel before your speech. That wasn't you doing a nice act. Yeah. And I'm not even sure those people knew that that's what they were doing, which is why I don't judge them. A lot of what humans do is subconscious. Again, I don't default into thinking people are bad. The reason I said Gavin Derek can't hurt me is when people encounter someone new, they are looking for something. They are. Yeah. You know, love, validation, resources. You know, in families, there's oftentimes the one who does the emotional help for everyone and the one that does the financial help. And a lot of times they're not the same person. For me, I've always been the same. I've been both for my family, my whole life and anybody around me. Those are two of the things in life, right? You need resources to kind of like put a roof over your head and then like obviously people have things they want, which they don't even need. You don't need anything. What do you really need? Like it's so funny. Like what do you need? Like, I don't know. I wish everyone, I literally wish what I'm about to say, wish everyone grew up in a poor household with unconditional love. They would be able to navigate love so easily. Life, excuse me. Yeah. So what do I mean? I mean that like it's easy for me to like them and to give to them. I don't want anything from them. I don't know what else to tell you. Right now in your life, how do you, and this is, I think, I think this is relevant to everybody, but how do you distinguish between, especially new people coming in your life? A lot of people as adults, even young adults, right? They are in the same rooms in high school. And then if they go on to college in there in the same rooms with people and then all of a sudden this whole sort of like new life happens. And a lot of people feel like they don't have friends anymore as an adult. People go in different directions. A lot of people want to make friends as an adult, whether they're in their 20s or their 80s. And so for you, to your point, because a lot of people do want something or you feel like, oh, I need to, you know, a lot of people won't even call their friends when they're hurting because they're like, oh, I don't want to burden them. I'm just going to call them when I have good news to share. When I, how do you distinguish between real friends and deal friends? By not thinking about it. I don't care if someone wants to be a deal friend. If I decide I want to be their friend and they want to be a deal friend to me, they want something from me. That's okay. I have the power to say no when they finally ask. This goes back to Derek and Gavin. Like, if somebody befriends me and I decide to be their friend, it's not law. I'm not delusional. I'm aware that there may be a time in five, seven, nine months or five, seven, 10 years where the ask will come in, right? Yeah. I'm allowed to say no. And I'm normally going to say yes, because I don't care. It doesn't bother you. Transactionality doesn't bother you. It doesn't bother me. Mm-hmm. Because I'm in control. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. This is the biggest punchline. Once you realize you're 100% in control, 100, it's game on, James. I'm in control. If Ricky becomes my friend and like completely manipulated it, like started to like the jets because of it, randomly showed up next to our tailgate at the jet games so he could sneak in. Mm-hmm. And he just has like just got there, right? And all of it was to one day ask for Gary Vee to fund his business idea. Six years later, 40 dinners later, 20 tailgates together, six road trips to a jets game together. Because really the jets and the nicks is like the way to sneak into me because I'm always ready for another fan to be part of our crew. Mm-hmm. And let's say like first of all, my brain wouldn't even, first of all, six years later, my brain wouldn't even be in the place of like, oh, because no cynicism. And you don't dwell. I don't dwell. And like he can't hurt me in that story because I can live without Ricky's friendship. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I don't even blame Ricky. And by the way, what happens if Ricky actually became infatuated with our friendship along the way? Mm-hmm. How about that? How about if the intent in the beginning wasn't pure, but how about the process of the time together created purity? Mm-hmm. There are people who are married where one of the partners intent wasn't super pure, maybe financial, maybe it was just attraction and nothing else, but through life's journeys, they actually did fall in love. I truly believe some couples fell in love eight years later. Mm-hmm. Happens, right? So, you know, I don't know. I just don't judge because I'm in control. Yeah. By the way, sometimes I fulfill a bad intent because I don't care. Yeah. I'm in control. Yeah. You're a master at capacity management. You really are. I'm just watching this and I'm thinking about all the things that for so many of us take our energy and our time and our emotional state and at the expense of things we could be doing or love we could be giving or impact we could be making or freedom we could be feeling. I think that's right. Yeah. I'm so uncomfortably light in a life that is wildly complex. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel that and that's really cool. This is the first time you and I are together in person. Yes. First time we're in person. Yes. So I'm getting to see the goosebumps at the arms. I'm getting to see the tears well in your eyes. Yes. And I'm really excited to see like to feel the light energy. You know, it's so light and honestly, you know what that and it's funny. It compounds and as I've gotten older and understood how rare this is, you can't help but leaning into gratitude because I know so much of it wasn't just me circumstance DNA parenting environment. So it's almost like now the momentum is building. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. fortunate emotionally and you're a hungry gangster that wants to build and be a workaholic and do all that stuff I'm struggling to find my comp and I've met them all and so Man it makes me very uncomp. In fact, it makes me a little guilty. I Believe why I'm me publicly is a mix of gratitude and guilt Listen not everything I'm aware like I can't help it. There's a part of me That's unbelievably grateful and there's a tiny piece of me that feels guilty like why me why I wish I wish everyone Had my mom and New Jersey and Russian immigrants and nothing and you know very hard to be hungry, Jane when you're fed Mmm. Do you feel a tiny bit of guilt? Do I should say do you remedy the guilt by giving back and by being bigger than yourself? Right. Yeah, I leave so much on the table. Yeah financially. Yeah every day of my life. Yeah Yeah, I think that drives me. Yes And honestly, I'm honestly trying to be careful that I don't get resentment or regret for that either You know, I I have real talks with myself. I'm like, hey, mister, you know, you know Giver superhero and they enable her at worst Yeah, I have to be very careful about that Hey, you also are gonna be 93 and are you gonna wake up and say hey, wait a minute There's a couple more things I wanted for me like hey, you're a lot. You know, these are talked I'm being very vulnerable right now. Hey, you're allowed to be selfish a little bit. That's a human thing, too Like don't blame any hey jerk Don't blame anybody at 93 when you didn't accomplish or gets whatever the heck you're gonna want at that point Because you chose to leave a lot on the table and give give give like that was you that wasn't your sister That wasn't your brother. That wasn't your spot. Like that's you You know, that wasn't the world. That's you so I don't have a critic, but man, do I have an accountable coach? So congratulations to your newlywed yes, you're newlyweds congratulations and when you say you feel light do you is that also inspired or encouraged or or or Celebrated or rubbed off on even more by your wife. No, no Of course, I mean what is greater than love? Yeah, like what of course But again even with the love of my life There is no other human that creates my light You know, mm-hmm, of course there's so much that you need from the one you love the most, right mm-hmm But not light. Yes, you know, I do think that's a personal game when you're actually in fact I would argue that everybody out there that is in need of their partner To create their lightness you need to be careful Right Because when you need someone else that is not your therapist To bring you more lightness You are burdening them with your heaviness Mm-hmm So I would never put that on her Not lightness love though fuck like You know makes the world go round, you know, it's really tough right now I feel like we're in an era in our world, you know social in 2000 a history lesson since I was there Social in 2006 789 was nirvana It was light hmm if you go read tweets in 2006 7 8 90% of it was optimism It was the early pioneers. It was the people that wanted to change the world Now we've got the masses on it All of a sudden it's heavy Hmm Something that I want people to learn from what does that mean? It means that people that are looking forward Bring light people that are looking backwards bring dark Wow I'm telling you Jim like I feel like very empowered right now I'm hoping you know one of the things I do well as a communicator is I is I poke at the zit Mm-hmm. I know that there's some people listening right now. They're like they have this weird feeling in their stomach They're like inspired but a little like squirmy because we're poking at them I'm poking at someone who's dumping all their crap on their husband or wife Two minutes ago. I'm poking on someone who spends their life looking at the rear view mirror Like if you're constantly thinking about your heyday in high school, that's not gonna be good When you were prettier when you were skinnier when you were stronger when you were more popular when you had more money when you were like like Even something that's like worthwhile to look back on when your parents were still alive and you had that love Even that which is worthwhile versus like the vanity of a six pack or being the prom king or queen Even something like that is not doing you anything good Taking the energy of that incredible relationship with your parents and imposing it on your children That's good But being like what was me I wish I wish man. I'm telling you I should have or I wish do not like that I do not like that I do not like that because I know what it's doing I think so many people are scared to put themselves out there. They're scared to be who they fully are authentically They're scared To be made fun of they're scared of the sometimes 25 or a hundred negative comments They got or they're scared of I mean just all of it I think so many people talk about cancel culture, but I feel like the most Prevalent form of cancel culture is that one we don't talk about yet So you cancel yourself before you even try and you know, I have always felt like you know And you're you're in the same situation where I feel very grateful to Authentically and every answer my being want to pour into other people and want to like I get so happy Gary When my friends win when people I don't even know when when other women win like I just in every answer my being Oh, yeah, and I agree. We're blessed and but also like I remember even on the come-up even when I didn't have When it was like rejection after rejection or setback after setback Or I didn't know what was gonna happen with the business that I was building I also knew deep inside of me that someone else's success because I believe I mean for me, you know I'm like a my faith is so strong. I believe that God's calling for my life It does not matter what anyone else has got going on someone else has a big win That has or it has nothing to do with what I and you know what people are saying right now Oh easy for you guys you made it and I say we made it because of that feeling. Mmm. It's the reverse of what people think, James Yeah, yeah I hear it all time Gary, but you're this way now. I'm like you didn't know me at 17 go talk to those 50 people They'll tell you I actually was more of this then Yeah, in fact, this will make sense to you. Yeah, it was easier to be that because there was no other collateral damage of success then in Fact the thing I'm most proud of is I'm pretty close to what I was then and most of the people like me and you When we get here become less than because the world makes them more cynical. Yes Yes, we're not like this now because we made it we made it because we were like this Mm-hmm All right, I Want to It's the realest thing that was like you know how real that was right It's like so uncomfortably right so real and the second everyone who's listening can shed the pain or the anger Yes, it's like a race James. This is actually really funny to talk about heavy and light life is a race and If you're emotionally light and you love everything and you just let it go you're fucking faster Yeah So of course I'm first on let me give you one about not being your true self at the height of In this last decade of my popularity when I was crushing it in 1819 like I'm that guy Right in the height of that I just tried to make garage sale videos in the height of my mogulness I Start making videos of me going to garage sales and every VC and private equity and billionaire friend I have in real friends Texted me and said what are you doing? You're making yourself so low And I said that's because you're confused of high and low Hmm. I started doing it because I read my DMs You said back to community and I was seeing in the highlights of me investing in Facebook and this and that and I would tell The story how I invested 25,000 into Twitter, right or for it was actually 44,000 whatever it was People would DM me and be like Gary great for you, but I have $13 in my Wells Fargo And I got enough of those that I said well wait a minute Let me make content around when I had $13 and Wells Fargo Let me show the world how easy it is if you're crying about money and you can't and there's Separation of wealth and the systems against you. Let me show you Visually of what happens when on a Saturday morning you go to 40 garage sales spend a hundred thirteen dollars on the items $60 in gas come home and sell it all on eBay and make a thousand dollars and rinse and repeat Years later. I have unlimited DMs from people that have gone from $13 to a hundred thousand dollars flipping stuff on eBay Yes, it might have made me seem lesser than to the elite jerk-offs But I wanted to be my full self and I wanted to make that content and I wasn't scared that it was gonna diminish me as a mogul because I was rummaging through trash And it's such a powerful example of What you said earlier, which is all these other people are saying oh Gary. Oh, you're this now And they're thinking about you You're in your DMs thinking about that person correct. Yeah, in fact, yeah I feel that often when I can feel I'm elevating I try to do things To not let everyone think I'm elevating like meaning like I don't even like want it I Just want to be in service of it again because I'm gonna get mine You know Vayner how about this? This is funny Vayner media my company Do you know that almost 99% of the audience has no idea that I'm the actual active CEO of a 2000 plus global Agency like they don't even like when people come to Vayner media Like that are more in like creator lander if you came if you came and did this podcast at Vayner like a lot of people do Almost every one of them is like what is this? I'm like, this is the company They're like what he most people just think I'm a personality the amount of people in comments They're like, what does he even do? I'm like I run a $360 million a year revenue agency that has completely taken Madison Avenue by storm while I also helped my dad build His wine business this wine text calm thing I just did while I'm building the next Pokemon and Marvel and Disney called v friends while I'm building my personal brand while I'm running one of the most successful emerging sports agencies really my brother's running that but I'm helping and my pickleball team and Vayner want my TV production company that Eric Wattenberg's mainly running and and and and and I am one of the most active operational executives in the world and Almost the entire universe that knows who I am Think I'm a motivational speaker content creator I I Figured out in 2014 that if I documented my entire life I could create the level of content that was required to be a very known creator But it's all the sawdust of what I do day to day Do you ever get tired of putting out content? No, never. No because it's not for me again. Hmm. Why would I be tired when I know every single piece of content at least helps one person? And and by the way, I want to be again I do not want to leave this podcast like I'm some weird angel and builds awareness about me Which could lead to a path like of them hiring my agency buying my dad's wine Starting to collect my trading cards from v friends like you know like what's bad? Because I don't need it to be working. Jay. Mal. Let's go to even more authentic place. I'm not in my prime right this second Like in this nanosecond as I film this with you I don't think like in the lexicon of personal brands like I'm like ripping hot I'm solid, but I've taken the last 18 months to really be head down on VaynerMedia and on v friends Which has taken some of the energy out of me doing my daily vlog the podcast like you know what I mean? I'm not in my height Right this second. I don't need to be Got it a lot of people lose because they get to like the top ten of podcasts I just have a top ten podcast Now I don't a lot of people have done better. I've watched Mel. Mel and I've been coming up the game together Like and we've had different moments sometimes. I'm hotter. Sometimes she's hotter. She's hotter right now You know I lot and I'm pumped for fucking Mel. This goes back to the whole talk Right like in this second. I'm solid. I'm a guy But like but by the way me doing this podcast is the beginning of next year 2026 I'm really gonna be hot because I've decided that I want to do tea with Gary Vee every morning That I want to do winding down with Gary Vee that I'm gonna go very heavy twitch and kick Which is gonna build a lot of 15 to 25 audience Like I just know that I'm gonna do a lot more podcasts. I gained fans fans off of this today There are many women listening right now who've never heard of me or heard one thing like I don't like that guy who are now listening Be like whoa, I really like that guy Because once they get past the you know Jersey boy the stuff underneath is the realest best shit on earth You see you you're very private about your personal life We were talking about before yes before coming on and you're super super private We now know that you want more kids first on the Jamie currently on the show Nomona was gonna be here. You called her the love of your life. Yes. Tell us how she's the love of your life You know, it's almost like you it's the great mystery like you know when you just it's in your stomach Yes, that's it. I think everybody just understood like there's like like there's so many people I love There's so many people I've met that you know, but like We're just a fucking match man, you know like a puzzle like it's just it's just a level of like joy and partnership and humor like, you know, I think people you just like Everything just like every ounce of it like everything, you know, like everything all of it the good the bad the left the right It's a level of calm. I struggle to find the words To say the peace of joy and the stillness Basically everything else I have in my life professionally Public everything we've been talking about yeah to have that in your love of your life To have that same energy of just like ease and like it's right even with I mean I don't have to tell you or anybody was listening. There is no relationship on earth That doesn't have it's like lefts and frets and bumps and but even when you're in that, you know, it's epic Even in the height of like maybe not alignment. Yeah, you know, like you'd rip your arms off to stay in it You know, you know like that Actually, that's not even the right words for it Even in the most misalignment you're enjoying it because you're doing it with that person and you know, it's good It's like incredibly micro temporary like whatever is not perfect. That's it. Yeah Congratulations, thank you. Yeah All right, I want to talk about AI social media Are any of us gonna have a job in a few years when the tractor came out? Everybody worked on a farm and everybody said everybody was in big trouble That's the answer to the whole thing I'm it's unbelievable how easy that question is for me and how quickly I can answer it It's gonna be faster than tractor. There will be moments in the next decade of like the job thing being a little bit uncomfortable but I anticipate governments and Society to pick up the slack. I actually believe that and so the answer to the question is every single form of technology Ravaged big ones the car the train the airplane The tractor the typewriter electricity Every massive form of new technology has created significant shifts. This could be the biggest one It could be it's that big. I don't want to understate how big AI is Jane people are gonna find other jobs Because new jobs will be invented. Let me give you a big one This conversation with Gary V is so incredible We made it into more than one part and if you've ever felt uncertain about the future with AI Social media and the rapid pace of digital growth if you've wondered will I even have a job in a few years? Will AI replace all of us? Does college still matter? What should I tell my partner my friends my kids or grandkids to do so that they have a bright future if you have these questions You are not gonna want to miss this incredible Conversation with Gary Vaynerchuk coming up in the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show Remember this episode is not just for you and me Please share it with every single person that you know because it can truly impact and change their life too And if you love today's episode, please click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app You're listening to it on or watching it on and if it added value to your life If you could please give it a rating or review five stars would be amazing I would be so grateful and then share it share the episode with everyone you believe in maybe a share with another person whose life You know could benefit from it Share it with someone you know who's maybe making a change in their career or fearful of what's happening with AI and all the Technology around us and what exactly they should do share it with others online or in your community Who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today? You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode and thank you so much for joining me today Before you go I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true you right now Exactly as you are are enough and fully worthy You're worthy of your greatest hopes of your wildest dreams and of all the unconditional love in the world And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kernley Michelle here I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need blossom what you choose Journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here You are worthy you are loved You are love and I love you and I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kernley Michelle In life you don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth when you build your self-worth You change your entire life and that's exactly why I wrote my new book worthy How to believe you are enough and transform your life for you If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill worthy is for you in Worthy you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back build unshakable self-love Unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth Get your copy of worthy plus some amazing Thank You bonus gifts for you at worthy book calm or the link in the show notes below Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you It's time to find out with worthy who you spend time around is so Important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief And I love to hang out with you even more especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter That's also a love letter to you Delivered straight to your inbox from me If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week Just go to Jamie Kern Lima comm to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter And get ready to believe in you If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration Some tips tools joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl Subscribe at Jamie Kern Lima comm or in the link in the show notes And please note I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician professional coach psychotherapist or other qualified professional