Jenna Fischer asks about irrational fears

This is a Head Gum Podcast. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking the layout of each hole when you're playing mini golf. That'll cost you. You confidently potted your ball through the clown's mouth and it went straight into the water hazard. Ouch! Yeah, check in first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. All savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state and North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. In partnership with Airbnb, let's talk a little bit about travel. Tig, as you know, I'm about to go on my first big tour around the United States. And while I'm traveling in a bus, I want to make sure I get a couple nights in a nice comfy bed that's not on wheels. So I'm going to book a couple nights stay on Airbnb. That sounds like a plan, Mae. What area are you looking? Well, I'm going to be in Florida, which I'm very excited about. And I'd love to find somewhere with a hot tub or a sauna that I can relax in. Maybe some nice nature nearby, like a big park or something. I love finding a home on Airbnb because I know I can get the place all to myself and I can read tons of reviews and make sure it's a great place. Airbnb also has guest favorites badges that show me the highest rated and most loved homes. I've just never gone wrong booking one of those. You know I swam with sharks in Florida. Is that something you would ever try? I hadn't thought about that. But if I'm near the ocean, then who knows? Maybe I will. On the other hand, if I find a really nice place on Airbnb, I may just never want to leave. Had some pot. Chattanooga friends on the Had some pot. Chattanooga friends on the Had some pot. Cheers. Cheers. Welcome to the Had some pot. I'm Fortune Feamster. And I'm Tignotaro. What's up you guys? It's me, Mae. We're coming to you guys the night before New Year's f-ing Eve. And we are buzzing. We're buzzing. It's the end of a freaking year. Oh my God, girl. Girl. We have just gone straight into girl. Girl. Let's see. It's been insane year. It's been a jet crazy. It's been so effing insane. We're going to just like talk. We're just going to unload and talk about it just like this and this voice. Oh my God. But like, why are you putting so many effens in there? Because it's how I effen talk. Oh my gosh. Girl. All right. I won't do that. I won't do that. Why not? I can't do it anymore. It hurts my head. It's putting way too much effort into talking and I like minimal effort. Do you guys want to see who's joined us for our last pod of this year? Can we get five guesses? Yeah, five guesses. Okay. Is it? Wait, five is a lot of guesses. Well, we don't know for sure who could be sleeping in a little basket next to you. It feels like you only need one guess. Is it Reese Witherspoon all filled up? Oh my God. Fortune, is it Reese? If Reese just popped out and did the bend and snap, no, it's not Reese, but that would be delightful. Is it Thomas? Thomas is in here, but not laying on my- Well, I don't know. I didn't know if you guys were like playing some sort of trick, you know? That would be fun. Okay, so it's not Reese Witherspoon and it's not Thomas. That's sort of the only two people. Yeah, that's the only two options. Those are the only possible options are definitely Reese Witherspoon or Thomas. Is it Cher? Oh, if I can turn back time. If I can find the way. Okay, I don't think it is because I don't think Fortune would go in with such confidence with Cher. Yeah, if she was in the ring. Yeah, I would love for Cher to be here. Counting down the new- you should have Cher counting down the New Year's clock. Is it Chas Bono? It is an odd. Oh, it's not Chas. Oh my God. Okay. How many guesses is this? I think that's four. You got one more guess. Oh shit, okay, Tig, we got to get serious. Oh, I know who it is. I know who it is. Who? Is it Martin Short? He would fit in this little basket. Is it Fortune? Is it Martin Short? May, do you feel like it's Martin Short? I feel like it's Martin Short in character as Ed Grimly. And you're right, it's Martin Short as Ed Grimly. Oh my God. It's Biggie. It's Biggie. He wanted to come say hi at the end of this year. Look at his eyes. Look at his eyes. Look at all that he's saying with his eyes. Baby bear. He looks sleepy today. Well, he's not. He actually, you guys. What? He has been staying with me for a couple weeks because he is from a broken home. Why is that the dumbest thing every time you say it? It's so dumb. He's been staying with me and he has been horny AF. Fortune. I don't know how to tell you that. He has a pep in his step because when I got him, I was like, oh, he was like wheezing a little bit in the beginning and I was like, oh, he's like getting old. And then this guy has, I don't know if he just missed LA or what was happening. He turned a corner where he was full of spunk and just humping. Full of spunk? Well, that doesn't sound right. Yeah. Just full of energy. And he has been bouncing off the walls, playing with his toys. He's just been like so full of life and humping my elbow and humping my. Wait, what? Your elbow. So you're involved in this? I don't want to be, but he's just, and he's humping my leg. Has this never happened? He's done it in the past, but, and then some friends came over and then he was humping their legs. Oh my God. He is. He's like you have to know because he's like in his eighties and human years, right? Do you feel like you need to put him up for adoption? No, never take how dear he didn't mean to. Can you imagine? There would be an outcry and there would be a lineup around the block of people wanting to take him. He's not going anywhere, but he is horny AF. But listen, I miss LA. I don't know. I'm projecting through your dog. Cause I, my, my old girlfriend, her grandmother used to talk through her dog. Oh, really? I love when people do that passive aggressively. Not even passive. What does that mean? Well, like her, we would go visit her grandmother and her dog whose name was Lil would be just, it was like five million years old and would be lying in front of the TV. Yeah. And her grandmother would be like, well, Lil sure has not been enjoying all this construction in the neighborhood. Oh, I see. Or she'd be like, you know, Lil sure wishes the construction would end before five every day. Yeah. You know, and it's like really grandma is that what Lil thinks? Lil. I like when it's a little passive aggressive, like Lil says it's, why is the radiator turned up so high in here? Yes. Well, that's exactly what it was. Yeah. But I was just wondering, is that what you're doing for her? I mean, no, it's all, it's all him. It's, he's, you know. Takes two to tango. Well, I used to date someone who had a little Bichon freeze and Bichon, Bichon freeze. Oh, Bichon what? Isn't that how you, how you say it? Bichon. Do I say it like Celine Dion? No, I just put a little something extra on it. Bichon freeze. Bichon. She used to, but this was a female dog that used to hump my ex a lot. And then, and then she would like let her do it to completion. And I, she was like, she was like, you got to let her do it or she won't stop. And I was like, I don't think that's good. I think you've got to stop, put a stop to it. Oh yeah. We put a stop to it around, around this house. And also he's not completing anything. He is still old. So he's just in complete hump. It's a couple of humps and then he's done. Yeah. So, but yeah, and when he started humping my friends as well, I was like, oh man, this guy is Hugh Hefner. He has gotten old and gotten horny. Yeah. In a way, it's like, there's vitality in that that I like. Like I'm happy that he's, you know, takes face to it. Extreme disappointment. Okay, fine. We won't talk about Biggie's situation anymore, but the good news is he is, even though he's getting older, he's still very spry. This is all good. Yeah. Yeah. This is great. It's great. This is really good news. Anywho, what's going on with y'all? Well, I mean, the new year is upon us. Yes, we... Get me out of this year. You ready to get out of this year? Oh yeah, we're done. We're done here. It's been a... It's been the year of the snake, a lot of shedding, and I'm ready for the year of the horse. Oh, okay. What does the year of the horse do? It's like, I guess, big dick, like a horse, and galloping into... What is happening to our podcast? We're not going to get a memory in here. We're going to re... We're going to lose all of our like four-year-old listeners, our Christian listeners, our Christian listeners, and our preschool listeners. Yeah. No, I think it's like forward motion, galloping into the future, powerful, solid, earthy. Uh-huh. I like that. I agree that this year should... We should leave it behind. I feel like that happens at the end of every year. People are like, goodbye, 2020, 2020, 2021, 2020, 2021. I don't always feel like that. I'm always... I'm usually fairly hopeful, but this one was... My last year didn't start off... My last year started off terribly. Yeah. And then half of LA caught on fire. Right. It's been fucking insane. We don't need a recap of hell. Oh, okay. You don't want me to go through the bullet points. Yeah, but you're right. It's rare, though, that people are like, oh, I don't want this year to end. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's very excited for the new year, it seems, always. Yeah. I am pumped for 2026. I wonder who Biggie's going to hump at midnight. Yeah, I won't be with him, so it will... Who knows? Okay. He'll be humping. I'm going to be in Seattle doing a comedy show, but the little baby bear won't be there. Oh. Well, I am, I'll tell you what, I'm excited for January, because as I was talking to Fortune before the show, our documentary got on the shortlist for the Oscars. Stop it. Of course. Very exciting. Did we not... Fortune and I were like, it's going to happen. Well, we haven't gotten the nomination. Yeah. The shortlist where they whittle it down to who will absolutely, you know, five movies out of this 12 or whatever get nominated. Oh my God. Exciting. It's a hard, hard nomination to get. I want it, of course. I think it would be like the craziest thing, as I was saying to Fortune, like to hand to Meg and Andrea on a silver platter. But there's a lot of nuance to the nominations, and I can see a way to get it, and I see many ways of not getting it. What's the way to get it to, like, woo the jurors? You got to send some flowers and cakes and do some of these. It's all about flowers and cakes at this point. What about them blowjobs? Yeah. I'm a fortune Marie. I have a joke. Oh, let's hear it. Oh, yeah. Okay. So a guy walks into a bar. Yeah. There's a beautiful bartender there, like really sort of classy, beautiful sort of old school good. Anyway, there's a sign above the bar that says some grilled cheese sandwiches, $5 blowjobs. No, sorry, I got it wrong. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. That's what we want. So, leave it to the professional comedian. Go on. Grilled cheese sandwiches, $5, handjobs, $10. So this guy says, excuse me, can I just ask you, is it you personally who gives the handjobs? And she says, well, yes, actually it is. He says, then wash your hands because I want a grilled cheese. Anyway, okay, someone told me that on Sunday. Wow, that really, I don't think I told you that. He says, he wants a sandwich and a handjob. No, he wants her to wash her hands because she's been given all these handjobs. He wants a sandwich. He just wants a sandwich. Oh, I thought he wanted both because I was like, five plus 10. He was fifth. You were doing math? I think the $15 grilled cheese through now in the beginning. Well, I didn't put any math in it. I just thought this guy wants a grilled cheese sandwich. Didn't you say in the beginning when you messed up there was a $15 grilled cheese? No, Fortune. I swear, I thought. A Fortune, you need to focus. Okay, you're starting to sound like me. So wash your hands because I'm going to need a grilled cheese. Yeah, so he was only asking if she gave the handjobs because he wanted to get the germs. Oh, right, right, right. I get it now. Can we go back to Fortune? Can you deliver us the punchline one more time? Me? Yeah. Why me? I don't know. I just want to hear it again. Okay. Ma'am, because you want to be polite. Ma'am, are you the one giving the handjobs? Why? Yes, actually, I am. Why are we doing an act out now? Then you better get out that dial soap because this is an ad. Are we sponsored by dial? For this bet we are. You better get out that dial soap and scrub those dirty ass hands that has all that stuff on it from all those handjobs because I'm going to want a grilled cheese. Wow, yeah. Why did I ask Fortune to do that? I don't know, but I liked it. I'm glad you did. I'm really glad you did. I didn't like it as much as that. And how much was that sandwich? The price was worth. $15. Listen, I. How much was the sandwich? $5? It was cheaper than the handjob, right? The handjob was $10. The grilled cheese was $5. And I'm going to throw in on top of that $5, two extra dollars for you to clean extra. And I'm going to throw in a pickle and two Cheetos or Doritos. Is that what you put on the side? Yeah, two Doritos. Should I tell jokes for a living? Yeah, I think you could do pretty well. Okay, let's hear one. Because you add a lot of words. What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Oh, you've told this many times, but not burping in the middle of it. Yeah, that was crazy. That was crazy. What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? One's a dollar fifty and the other one's under a buck. Yes, I heard that one. That's good. You love that one. I love that one. Oh, you love it. Biggie just perked up. He loved it too. Oh, Biggie. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates. Northbrook, Illinois. A thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well and last. That's where Quince shines. Premium fabrics, considered design and every single product that's in the market, considered design and everyday essentials that feel effortless to wear and dependable even as a seasons change. 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It's, I think it's an Irish man and a British man and a Scottish man. Anyway, the Scottish man says, and they said, but guess what? You get to choose how you want to die. So the Scottish man says, bring me some poison. And so they bring him poison, eats the poison and the British man says, bring me my pistol. And they bring him a pistol and he shoots himself. Then the Irish man says, bring me a fork. And they say, oh, okay. And they bring him a fork and he just starts stabbing himself. He says, you'll not make a canoe out of me. Oh, I get it. Cause of holes. Holes in himself. Listen, I did this charity. It was a fundraiser on Sunday and it's a really chaotic atmosphere because and full of love and joy. But it's like the charity helps musicians who struggle with mental health and addiction problems to have their music. Produced and performed. So all the performers there are these very vibrant and eccentric people and they all had jokes for me. So these are the jokes that they told me and I'm telling them much worse than they told me. But and some of them cannot be repeated the jokes, but it was such a nice evening in memory of my friend and it was good. I enjoyed these. And you're in Toronto, Tig. I am a couple days. Yes. I got in last night. Had my fitting. I have rehearsal. I filmed tomorrow and then I fly away. Fly away. Aren't you always wearing this like a Star Trek uniform? Yes, I know it's a real mystery. But the material that my space suit is made out of gets stretched and they have to make new ones all the time because of the weird material. And then sometimes there's like, you know, an explosion and then there's, you know, the suits ablaze. But it's it's way better than the amount of wardrobe fittings that happen on other TV shows or movies, you know. Is it the same thing? Yeah. Yeah. That's smart, actually. I know I have a three hour costume fitting tomorrow. You do? Oh boy. For this new movie I'm going to be filming. That's like wardrobe is, I mean. Like three hours of trying on clothes. Yeah. But are you guys like me like you it's kind of almost emotional wardrobe fittings. Like I get like a lump in my throat sometimes because if it's really feminine clothes that they want to put me in or like. Why would they put you in real feminine clothes? What show would do that? And you can tell them that you don't wear that. I do every time and then I get there every time and they go, yeah, we got a bunch of just plain t-shirts, but they're like V neck or like deep V like women's t-shirts. And I'm like, I know to you these seem like just neutral t-shirts, but to me it I'm in hell. Oh, interesting. But do you get like that like kind of depressed during wardrobe fittings because putting on clothes that don't look good. Even if you know you're not going to be forced to wear them, you're going to just trying on a bunch of stuff is really. I don't know. I just don't I find it so like exhausting trying on new outfit and then like, oh, I like that green shirt. Let's pull that and put that with pair that with the black pants and then let's put that, you know, it just all of that kind of stuff. Yeah. It does it. I'm not some I don't like to shop. And so it kind of feels like shopping to me. Yeah. But yeah, I think more than anything, like if I go through the racks of clothes, I'll just be like, oh my God, I'd never wear that. I would never wear that. And I just zip past it. Yeah. I see why like if if there's more deeper if there's deeper gender stuff attached to it. Also, you're just like you're putting stuff on and then two or three people are just standing there looking at you going. I like that looks terrible. Yeah. Okay. Sounds like you need a new wardrobe person on your production. I only know if I don't like something, but so I'll have like a strong no if I don't like it. But other than that, they're like, what do you think? I'm like, I don't care. What do you like it? If you like it, we're good. Yeah. So yeah, it's more of a hassle than anything. Yeah. I think I think to avoid putting things on that I'm not comfortable with or that don't speak to me. I mean, I'm sure you do this too, but I just flip through the rack and I'm like, never, never, never, never, never. Yes. Yes. Yes. Never, never. Yes. Yes. Do you do that? That's a good. I need to be better at being like, I know I'm not going to wear that. So I'm not going to try it on. I'm not going to try it off and that are you're probably good at photo shoots too. You know, when they go, yeah, we're not going to use this one, but just do something wacky for how hold this rubber chicken and jump in the air. No, no, no. I wouldn't even use it. Just give it a go. Like you just don't do it. Right. Yeah. See, I'll be like, okay, I guess. And then that's the one they use. No, no. Take with a rubber chicken. Oh my gosh. No. I want to see that. I cannot do those things. We just want to do handsome portraits. Yeah. Yeah. We just want to throw a mustache on my face. Yeah. Get someone in a suit. We haven't taken pictures of ourselves in suits in a long time. Yeah. Well, I think we will maybe have to do that coming up. We will. We had that. We had that Holly Bob show, which was so fun. That was a grand old time. Can people still get tickets? Can they still watch that? Or you know what? Maybe we'll tell them, maybe we'll tell Dynasty typewriter to leave the link up through what? January 2nd. I think so. Yeah. Let's do that. So people. Yeah. Let's do that. So people. People want to watch it over tonight in the next couple of days. They can still watch our Holly Bob show. Yeah. I had a good idea to do that. Let's do that. Our third, our third, that was our third annual. I know. Oh God. I love a tradition. It makes life makes sense. A little tradition. And we're not going to tell anybody what happened because we want them to be surprised. That's right. Because you are not going to believe. You are not going to believe. What happened? Do you think there's going to be a fourth Holly Bob? Hopefully. I don't think. We pulled this one out last minute. Our schedule is weirdly aligned at the last minute because I was originally supposed to be at a town. Yeah. And then at the last minute, I was like, actually, I flew back to LA just to do that show. Yeah. So. I'm always, I thought the podcast wasn't going to go past the first April. Remember? Yeah. Yeah. I'm always delighted. Yeah. It's a real surprise each April that comes around. It's like, well, here we are again. So what are we to? We're a little over two years to. Isn't it more than that? Two and a half? Two and a half? Jesus. It feels so much longer. I know. I lived a thousand lives in that time. I became a father that I was. I know. Oh my Lord. I used to be married. Yeah. It's crazy. We've made shows and movies. Now, Biggie comes from a broken home. He's from a broken home. Yeah. I will toot our horn for just a minute. We're about to cross 50 million downloads on this podcast. What? That's a lot. In two and a half years, I'd say that's pretty incredible. I still can't believe how many people listen to this podcast. I know. I'm like, what? You too? I know. It's so nice. This is one of the most successful long-term relationships I've had. I know. It's a threple with a quadruple. Quadruple. And we all get along. We've never come to blows. It's always. It's always. It always surprises me the different type of people that come up to me. It's not one type of listener. No. It's from all different age groups. Yeah. Backrooms. At the charity show in Toronto on Sunday. Actually, it was in my backpack. So I have it. This woman came with her husband and gave me this letter that's all about handsome. And then in it, she gave me, she has organized all of the Toronto escape rooms onto a chart. Oh my gosh. She made a really detailed chart and it's, and she put the difficulty and the, so I'm going to do some escape rooms with my parents while I'm here. Your parents do that? They've done two with me in Ireland once and it was really tense because they couldn't understand that they were on the same team and that we're all just trying to get out of the room. And they were so competitive and sort of keeping their clues to themselves, but they're into it. So we're going to do it. Well, that's cool. That's a bot. Would your brother join you? He would, but he's like, he's like too smart for it almost. Like he, he, he's a bit like sometimes you take with a, would you rather? You're like, but why are we doing that? Like he, I think he would be like, but I can just press the exit button and get out of the room. I'll just press the emergency exit button. Are you saying I'm a big bummer? No, not at all. You're, I'm totally fine. If you're, if you're saying that I can, you know, if you, if you're ready to ask the question, you're ready to hear the truth. So am I a big bummer? No, you're the, you're a light in our lives. That's right. Fortune. Am I a big. Light of my life. I don't know. What is that? You light up my life. You light up my life. I don't know that one. Really? It was a biggie from the seventies. Biggie. Biggie. Hello. Should we get to our questions? Let's do it. Yeah. Yeah. Can I just say really quickly that because we, we said it before and then, and then we had a tech problem, but that today I got told that I look like Brian Adams. And when I walked into a diner, the chef behind the counter said, look who it is. It's Brian Adams. And I was racking my brain for like, is this a reference to something I've done or something? And I said, you think I look like him? He said, yeah, you look exactly like Brian Adams. And I'm really reeling from it. Did you start singing? I got my first real six. Six. Me. I got my five and I'm. Blit to my fingers. Blit. Was the summer of 69. Ah. Fortune. Me. Me. Maria. That's not the song. May. Is that offensive to you? Well, Brian Adams actually, when you look at him, is he, I mean, he's, you know, he's talented, which makes him handsome, but he's got kind of a, no, I mean, he's a handsome man, but no, I. I'd do him. I'm sure he's dying for that. Hey, y'all, I'd hit that. I said, are you hungry? I said, I would do anything for food, but I want. Wait, that's me. That's me. Oh, yeah. You're thinking of anything I do. I do it for you. You guys remember how huge that movie was? Yeah. Robin Hood. Robin Hood, Kevin Costner and that song. Uh, talk about a horny moment. Yeah. And he's so American in such a British way. Fortune takes not looking at you. Why can't you think I got that with me anymore? Cause he's a morning. Why do you think Fortune, why do you think it was so sexy? I was. I think Brian Adams is cute and I, and I really enjoy his, um, like I saw him live. I don't know why I was there and I don't know why I was side stage, but I was there and I was loving every minute of his concert. Hell yeah. I bet he puts on a good show. Oh yes, he did. And it's just like the greatest hits of your life. And I was like, look at me side stage at Brian Adams. Anyway. Our question asked today is. Today's question asker is an Emmy nominated actress best known for playing Pam Beasley on the office. She's also starred in movies like the giant mechanical man and 2024 is mean girls. She co-hosts the hit podcast office ladies with her friend, Angela Kinsey. Jenna Fisher is asking today's question. Man, people freaking love the office still. Oh man. It's my kids or two of them. Hello, handsome podcast. Here's my question. Do you have an irrational fear? A fear that, that you know intellectually doesn't make any sense. It's false. This thing will never happen. But do you have an irrational fear? And if so, how do you deal with it? Yes, I do. Oh, you do? Oh, yes, I do. Oh, man, that was quick. Well, because it is an irrational fear I deal with. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure I have many, but one that is so irrational. And it's so irrational that I'm going to reveal myself as nuts right now. Okay. I'm scared to reveal this because I'm scared somebody is going to do this. Don't lose the tig, y'all. Don't wait to hear what it is. How much this will never happen. I'm scared to like when I check into a hotel room and there's a balcony. I am scared. I can't just stand on the balcony and look around. I am scared there is somebody under the bed or in the closet who is going to jump out and then throw me off the balcony. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Whoa. Yes. I wonder where that started. I don't know. And it's even now transferred to if I'm like in a play, like say I'm in a mall, which is all the time. Let's say I'm in a mall that's like five levels. Yeah. I'm in like a Galleria type place. I can't go stand by the edge because I'm like sure enough somebody's going to come run over and toss me over. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I wonder if you like saw a movie as a kid or something where that I know a lot of people like have the fear that they're going, their body is just going to jump. You know what I mean? But to be like as soon as I step on that balcony, someone from under the bed is going to come and just toss. Well, I'll check in and I look under the bed. Was it especially if there's a balcony, I'm like, I'm no fool. Oh, you're not tossing me over. So yeah, that is, I guess that is very irrational. It's very irrational. Wow. But that's been something you've had since you were young? No, it started as an adult probably in the past 20, 30 years. I don't know. Oh, interesting. Does this allow you to even enjoy any balcony? Yeah. Can you even sit on it? I can't be standing near the edge. But you can sit on a balcony and. Yeah. Yeah. I just need to make sure nobody is going to come up behind me and throw me off. I will say that when I filmed in Toronto last summer, whenever that was, I had a balcony in the apartment that I was staying in and I loved it. It was so nice because it had a beautiful view of the water. But if I got too close to the edge, like I would almost like feel like a panic attack coming on. Yeah. And I'd never had that before. Yeah. And I couldn't even look down long because I would start to feel my heart racing. Yeah. Have you guys ever gone up the CN Tower? Yeah, I have. And you know, it has the glass floor. Yeah. That makes my palms, I go green. Yeah. That's tough. But I did it. Okay. So a stranger or a loved one throwing you off a balcony, that's a good one. I don't think a loved one is going to do it. I think there is a psychopath hiding in my hotel room and they are ready to toss me over. Well, see, now I'm scared. No one, no one do that. Yeah. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't. Don't do it. Don't do it. You guys don't. That's so not cool. It's not cool to throw me off balconies. No. Fortune, what about you? I was trying to think if there's anything I'm like afraid of. I will, I mean, this is not like a fear per se, but I do find myself picking the side of the bed to sleep in that's closest to the door. I don't know what that is. Well, two extra steps to safety is what that is. That's right. That's right. I do. And I oftentimes when I'm staying by myself will lock my bedroom door when I sleep. Yeah, that makes sense though. That's it. I mean, I get, I think I want to like know. I think there's some fear there of being startled in my sleep clearly. Yeah, but that's an evolutionary, you know, you're asleep. You want to be protected. Tig is imagining a psychopath when she's wide awake. Well, let's not like drag me down like I'm some lunatic. Well, it makes fortune seem normal. Listen, no. I feel like I'm a tig over here. I'm a rational minor. My teeth crumbling out like I have a lot of dreams where my teeth are just crumbling in my mouth. Thomas, will you look up what that means? I think that does mean something. Really? So that's because I know I think so. People have that dream. Yeah. Means you need calcium. Yeah, it's helpful. Solid means also my mom being mad at me and doing bad at my report card. That's still a fear. Yeah, like that feels irrational, right? Because I don't know. It's like this nagging feeling like I haven't done my homework. You're not in school still, are you, though? Absolutely not. OK. I would have nightmares sometimes about forgetting lines on stage like a theater show. And I'll wake up in a sweat like, oh. I do have a teeth fear. I'm not. I know you're not finished, but just to tag on to your teeth thing. I get a little jumpy drinking out of a water fountain. Oh. Because I have a fear that someone's going to come up behind me. There we go. Because when I was a kid, I was drinking out of water fountain and my friend thought it would be funny to like kind of bang me into the thing. And luckily it like just missed my teeth. But I got like a concussion like banged into the water fountain. But I've always had this fear of like drinking out of water fountain and my teeth just like smashing into it. Did the friend feel bad? See, you're crazy too. Oh, we're all nuts. We're all. I think we were so young. I think they didn't realize how much that hurt like it physically hurt. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. That also I wonder if they've had that feeling of like their stomach dropping when they realized what they like. I fucked up. I don't know. Okay. Thomas says the most common interpretations for dreaming about your teeth falling out include recent loss or grief, jealousy, increased stress or anxiety, lack of control, big life changes, depression, insecurity or shame, health related fears or real life dental issues. The only thing you don't have on there is real life dental issues. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like here's a bazillion what ifs, but it could also just be your teeth. Yeah. Be figs. I'm scared of deep water and aquatic dinosaurs. Like the things that live in the depths and they've been there for thousands of years, species we don't even know about big like they're just like the Loch Ness monster. Yeah. I don't want anything to do with that guy. You don't. No. I got enough friends. You know, doesn't it seem like the Loch Ness monster and Big Foot probably know each other? Yeah. It feels like they probably have seen each other before. Like, you know how you imagine like people have a certain level of fame? Like if you're Tom Cruise and you're at a party and you see Brad Pitt, you're like, hey man, like I think Loch Ness monster and and that's like when I went up to Tom Cruise and I was like, hey man, me too. I know it's like to be this handsome. Yeah. I know. I know what it's like to look like this by the way. Yeah. Quick question for you, Tig or you're going to let Max and Finn stay up to midnight for the countdown or they or do you do like a fake countdown? Yeah. I mean, when when it's not a school night, we let them stay up as late as they want. So even if it's a weekend night, we let them stay up as late as they want. And what's so well, yeah. And they're like, yeah, we can stay up as late as we want. And usually they're falling asleep on the couch by like 9 30. Yeah. You know, so yeah. And then we watch the East Coast ball drop so they get to see it. But you know, it's only been weird travel time change nights that they've actually made it to some really late hour because they. I think they're all like the other day they had three tournament games of baseball in one day. And I know. Yeah. So they pretty much they crash out pretty hard. Yeah. Yeah. Can I tell you guys some common irrational fears? Yeah. That you have? No, that just the world experiences together. Okay. Spiders fear of being watched. Huh. And that's called scope pop scope pop phobia. So go pop phobia scope just just letter just letter. This is a fun one major letter fear of holes. Oh, I've heard of this like even I ain't afraid of no hole for like. What may. There's like sponges or honeycombs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a thing people are scared of. Oh yeah. My friend Steph the one who got some in the document. She's she's scared of things in close clusters like yeah. Like yeah. Like she is very disturbed. But I guess it's more common than you think. By the way, I stand by what's wrong with the thumb. Anyway, yeah, me too. Watch the documentary and let us know your feelings. Fear of mirrors. Have you guys heard of that? No. All these have words to them, but I can't pronounce any of them. Yeah. It's like, are they that common that they need a name? Your clowns. That's a big one. That's huge, right? But I get that because it's like it's the fakeness of it. It's like, you don't they have a smile painted on and you don't know how what they're feeling underneath. I like to pretend that May is explaining what clowns are to us. So there's a smile painted on. It says it's often rooted in childhood experiences or unsettling portrayals in media. We blame the movie it for that. Yeah, seriously. Yeah. Fear of mannequins. Are we still on topic? Or have we? Yeah. Oh, right, right, right. I won't name all these fear of balloons. Some people are very afraid of them popping unexpectedly. My friend always says playing with the balloon is like hanging out with a friend that could yell at you at any moment. Some people have a fear of rain. That would be tough. Especially in Seattle. That'd be really hard. I'm going to be there tomorrow night. Who? The Wicked Witch of the West. That's true. I'm melting. That's what my secret name for fortune is. The Wicked Witch of the West. Yeah. How dare you. Really? Elmira Gulch. And then there's a fear of talking on the phone. Telephobia. Oh, that's a great thing to remember if somebody is contacting you too much. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I have telephobia. Well, good time. Should we hear Jenna's answer? I think we should. Yes, please. My irrational fear, or maybe it's more of an irrational thought. I don't know, but it does make me feel scared. So I'm calling it a fear. Is that there is a, I don't even want to say it because I think if I say it out loud, it's more likely to be true. But I know that's not true. Say it. So I think that there's a ghost in my closet. In my office closet. I'm so silly. And that because I have a tiny window in there and it opens on its own all the time. And it's not windy. I latch it and it unlatches. Oh, that's definitely a ghost. And I deal with it by telling myself that even if it's true, even if a ghost is unlatching the window, I've lived here for 10 years and they must be a nice ghost. I think so. I think that's the only ghost. That's the only explanation. Oh yeah. Also, as we were listening to Jenna's answer, someone like is knocking. I think they're locked out. Somewhere in this Airbnb, but the door is over here and the knock came from over there. So I don't know. I am spooked right now. I'm spooked too. Girl, I am. She's goosebumps. I saw you go like look like you had seen a ghost. You just saw my real fear face. What is, is that the back door that they're knocking on? Yeah, it could be. Weird. I don't know. Stop, it's gone now. Don't answer it. When Jenna was talking about the ghost in her closet, it reminded me, maybe I've talked about this before, it reminded me of an ex of mine when we lived together. There is a gigantic, like the size of a hand spider. Maybe that's a little much. Maybe half the size of a hand palm size in a spider web in the closet. And she didn't want to disturb it. Oh, no. Yeah. So we, yeah. So we had to live with that spider in there. I don't think I could have done that. Yeah, it was, it was a struggle, but I guess that's love. I worry about retaliation from spiders. Like I would maybe try to transport it out safely, but she did not want to disturb it. The retaliation being that they like talk to their friends and a bunch of them come get you. Yeah. Plus if you talk to your friends and your spider and you go, come on, that's eight legs and come on. That sounds like a lot of fear. This sounds like an irrational fear. Come on. This sounds irrational. What is irrational? All these spiders are coming to get you all after one. Oh, I don't think any spiders come to get me. No, May. Yeah. Well, it happens with whales and things and crows. Like there are some animals that will hold a grudge and bring back their friends. Yeah. But do you think Jenna has a, if you had a ghostly occurrence that kept happening that was kind of mundane, like and not threatening, but it kept happening and there was no explanation. Would you want to move house or would you be like, I'll just live with it? Oh yeah. Move house. Remember that fortune? Move house. Move house. Move house. I forgot about that. What's move house? It's just not what we say in the state. We don't say move house. Yeah. We don't say that. You don't say move house? And we've already talked about this. We say move into another house. Yeah. Or we move. Okay. I would legit find someone who like a ghost buster. Oh, like an exorcist almost. No, it happens. He's a ghost buster. I would try that first. No, like somebody that helped me get like, I would sage the house first. See if that works. If it's still happening, then bring someone that like, you know, clears ghost. But there, but the ghost doesn't do anything wrong. I know, but you can also have a comment. So my house growing up was like wildly haunted. And I talked about it in one of my specials. People move out of this house every five years or so because it's super haunted. And my mom used to hear stuff all the time. I didn't hear things or see things, but I hear. Did she hear? No, she just heard footsteps all the time. And she said it was not a friendly ghost. And it would make a lot of ruckus and noises. She said it got so bad that at one point she like told she yelled out to the ghost when she was alone one night. And if it did not leave us alone, she was going to call Duke University Paranormal Department. And she said after that it calmed down. Oh, yeah. You don't want to include that. She threatened it. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, again, I'd be worried it would go get its friends. But it clearly hasn't left because I have heard from people who I got stopped by a guy who said my best friend lived in your childhood home. No way. He was a grown man. And I said, can I ask, did he tell you if that house was haunted? And he said it was the most haunted house the guy had ever lived in. Really? But you felt you didn't feel a malevolent presence there like you felt. I felt inner bad energy for sure. Whoa. I don't see ghosts or like I don't you know, I think some people are susceptible to it. I don't have that thing, but I feel energy very strongly and I always felt very unsettled in the house. I wish you were here right now to protect me from whatever is not. I mean, there's nothing I can do. Just, um, just you'd get scared. I just lived, I lived with it, but I slept with a knife under my bed my whole childhood. I thought you were going to say you slept with the ghost. No, May, I'm not a whore. Not a ghost whore. I don't even know how to contribute to this conversation. Wait, but you would sleep with a knife under your bed? Can you, can you kill a ghost with a knife? Because when I was a kid, I didn't know if my house was haunted. My mom told me years later. But you just thought that there's- I just was scared all the time in this house and I didn't know why. What kind of knife? What are we talking about? Like a little- Like a kitchen knife. Like a kitchen knife. For a butcher. Okay. Yeah. But I was always scared and my mom left me alone a lot in my teenage years because she had a boyfriend that lived- Yeah, we heard about him. Yeah. So I would be by myself. So my entire high school, I was so scared in this house and I never knew why. And then years later, I'm having a conversation with my mom and my mom was like, well, you know, because the house we grew up in was insanely haunted. And I was like, what are you talking about? Yeah, but you were also probably scared because you were a child left alone at home. Well, I was a teenager at that point. I was also a teenager at that point. I get scared as a 54-year-old. Yeah, true. Good point. TC look alike. Well, anyway, I'm glad we got our fears out. I did. I had to. It was wonderful to connect once again with both of you. I feel much closer to both of you. Yeah, I always do. You guys, as a special treat to our listeners, I looked at our calendar because we were going to leave up that link till January 2nd to our Holly Bob's Christmas extravaganza. That's a very fun watch. Why don't we leave it up through that weekend that people can have that entire weekend. So January 4th, that link will be available. Oh my gosh. We're just giving it away at this point. We can still have a Holly Bob's party this weekend with your friends. Yeah, tag us in your pics if you get people together and you're watching it. We want to see you. Or even if you don't get anyone together. Yeah, it's just you and your ghost. Just watch it. It was super fun. We always go off the rails and it's a good fun time. So we hope you guys enjoy it. So you can check out that link. We'll have it posted. But it's at dynastytypewriter.com for that link. It's true. Well, should we share what we're up to? I mean, if anybody cares anymore, what we're up to? I mean, I have tour dates if anyone cares. Well, let's hear it. They're coming up. I mean, grab a piece of paper. What'd you say, Mae? I love that type of person. I'm doing fine if anyone cares. I mean, I don't know if you care at all what I'm up to. But if you do, grab a pen and a paper and write down that I'll be in Fort Lauderdale on January 14th. I'll be in Orlando January 15th. I'll be in Tampa January 16th, which is yes, both of my parents' birthday. And then Fayetteville, Arkansas, February 19th, Oklahoma City, February 20th. And the list goes on Midland, Texas, February 21st. Also, do check out Come See Me in the Good Light, the incredible beautiful documentary on Apple TV that maybe I produced and maybe it made the shortlist of Oscar nomination possibilities. I am at Largo in LA on January 13th with Lisa Gilroy doing a show called Mae and Lisa's Surprise Party that we're going to surprise each other with stuff. It's going to be fun. And then I'm about to go on tour. If you go to maymartin.net, I'm doing 47 shows. I'm coming to all these cities I've never been to. And also check out my album. I'm a TV on Spotify or wherever you get your music and listen to some emo tunes. Also, if you want extra dates of my tour, go to tignotaro.com because there's a lot more tour days there. Okay. I'm in Vancouver actually right now. I'll be in Vancouver if you want to check that show out. Seattle, Washington for New Year's Eve tomorrow. And then I got New Orleans, Mobile, Alabama, Atlanta, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, Des Moines, a bunch of places, New York City at the Beacon, Philly, lots of places. Yeah, fortunefiemester.com. Nice, my friends. We're busy little bees. What a fun pod to end our year out on. I appreciate you guys. And I'm looking forward to another awesome year ahead. I know. I hope we make it to April of 2026. My resolution is to keep it handsome as always. Well, let's do it. Let's do it. Also, please rate and review us and subscribe to the podcast. You have no idea how helpful that is with keeping this podcast going. Subscribe, rate, review, also YouTube. Check it out. A lot of silliness going on on YouTube. And until next time, oh, what? Go ahead. Well, just thank you guys. Thank you to everyone who's listened this year and continues to support us. We really appreciate it. This is such a fun treat for us to do the pod and the fact that you guys listen and enjoy it means so much to us. So thank you guys. Yes. Please feel free to share your favorite episodes and build this wonderful handsome, pretty little community. Yeah. And until next time, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feamster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. And please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Checking all state furs could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you make room for your family pets when settling in for a movie night. Ain't gonna fly. If my cat's not on the couch with me, it's gonna stare at me with a really sad face. Until we find her a spot. Yeah. Checking first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hey, everyone. This is Natalie. And this is Charlie. We're from the podcast Exploration Live. It's really funny. It's really good. It's really, really, very good. And now we have a YouTube channel to go with it. That's exactly right, Natalie. You can watch full video episodes of our podcast Exploration Live at youtube.com. That means that in addition to the audio component, you're also getting a video component. Exactly where you're seeing our reactions, what kind of clothes we're wearing, you know, and there's a whole suite of dynamics and physical expressions that you can really only get from a full video. Body language experts to the front. Exactly. So come check out Exploration Live, either audio or video.