My bio sister TRACKED me and now wanted to be a part of my life! | Reddit Stories | EP2648

Hey, this is Riley, and this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up, but before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. The year is 2006. Pluto has reclassified as a dwarf planet. Uh, ain't no big deal. But speaking of big deals, in Bolton, England, Family Bakers War burdens took the nation by storm with a fleet of big orange lorries now delivering to every corner of the land. They were really on a roll. Unlike that pun. War burdens toasting 150 years. My bio sister tracked me and now wanted to be a part of my life. What is she? The CIA? Here's the issue. I was adopted as a baby. My 26 female have no clue what happened to anyone in that family, as I have never had a desire to look into my past. Mom, 59 female, and dad, 63 male, are wonderful and giving people. I have a sister, Elizabeth, who is my twin. We aren't related by blood, but are the same age. We were both adopted, so we had that to bond over. By the way, this comes from Dramaly, and if you want to dismiss your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah. We're here to give good advice. Goofly, but we don't have the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments and OPSO. I met the love of my life, Jake, 30 male, and we've been together for four years. We're getting married in December. I have already planned out the guest list. No kids will be there and I'm super excited. I have never really had the urge to look for my bio siblings. I guess at this point, I wouldn't really be their true sibling emotionally because we have lived different lives. Since I have medical records and grew up without them, I never felt the need to meet them. But my bio sister, Janus, 27 female, tracked me down about a month ago. She wrote me on Facebook in July, but I didn't check my other folder until September. It was a really long letter that talked about who she was, how she tracked me down, and said she was looking for the rest of the siblings. She said she really wanted to connect with the rest of us because she needed to find her past. I don't know what to think. But her story added up. She had some pictures and since I was a pretty ugly baby, it's obviously us together as toddlers. She also knew some details. She could be a fake, but I didn't think it was. I showed mom and dad and they said it checked out. We have been talking for a few weeks now. She has called me twice a week texting me every day. She's nice, but I have been losing interest. She's just some stranger to me. Emotionally, I find it very hard to recognize this is someone I should care about. On some deep level, shouldn't I feel like we're super close sisters? I don't get the same excitement talking to her that I do with Elizabeth. She has two kids who she talks about a lot. She tells me she showed them my picture and they've been showing people Auntie Emily. She also told me she took off time in December for the wedding. She just might need to stay with me because she's low on cash. Yikes! Low on cash. Feels like maybe that's the reason she came to you. Hmm. Not good. Not good. There's the first red flag. We got it. I was waiting for it. I know this makes me sound nasty and ungrateful. She's super into meeting me. Said I am the most normal sibling and she's so excited to have someone to share her life with. She sounds really lonely. I know she's built this up in her head as being the best thing to happen to her in forever, but she isn't someone I would have in my life if she didn't have some connection to my past. Every time we talk, she goes on and on and I'm just counting down the minutes. I have tried to work out a way to be there for her, but I can't bring myself to truly care. I don't wish her ill, but she's just another stranger to me. She isn't family emotionally. I know I could try to form the bond, but at this point I don't see the point. At 26, I have pretty much established the sort of people I want in my life. She just has views I find strange, is rude in ways I find annoying. And despite having biological nieces, I just don't feel like they're anything but someone else's kid. Does this make me a bad person? Am I horrid? I feel guilty as heck because I can tell she wants this so bad. Even then, even if we did become friends, she would never be my sister. Because being a sister means a lot more than genetics to me. I'm not sure how to tell her, hey, I don't want to talk anymore. I've talked with my significant other and he says if I want her out of my life then I just need to handle it. He doesn't really like her that much. They've talked, but he says she puts a lot of pressure on me to be close to her when this stuff doesn't always even work. Any advice would be so appreciated. And we've got relevant comments, but what do you think? Honestly, I don't think that you're like the A-hole in this OP. Because if you don't want a relationship then you don't want a relationship. It's cool that she reached out and it's cool that she wants one and she's discovering her past and whatnot, but she can't force that on you. No, absolutely not. She cannot force you to feel like have this connection of blood sisters or something. I don't know. You can't force someone to feel a specific way towards someone, especially if you don't care to know your past and that's okay. You don't have to. That's your boundary. So she just needs to get it. I agree. And she's annoying apparently. Yeah. That's her worst crime. I feel like in terms of how do we go about this, you just sit her down, go get coffee, and say, hey, I'm really appreciative that you've reached out to me. I don't think I'm ready for the type of relationship you want. And then I don't know where to go from there. And then you send her confetti in the mail. Springheal Jill says, wait, did she invite herself to your wedding? What? That was a crazy thing that she did. OP says she did invite herself and her two kids to my wedding. And to stay with me while I have everything else going on, I'm not sure what she thought was going to happen. I was going to be jolly about someone being in my home with kids while I was getting ready for my wedding and a honeymoon. And we've got an update four days later. In the last few days, I've done a lot of thinking. The short of the long, I have decided not to have her in my life anymore. What happened? Janice called me last night. I tried to be polite, but she went into a big long rave about all the plans she had for when she visited me. She brought up the wedding. Would there be time to see a long list of local places together? OP is fully planning a wedding. She doesn't have time to be a tour guide. This is crazy. Did she have a plus one? No, you don't even have a one. Let a little plus. Yeah. What was the dinner options? Nothing for you. She already bought the girls' dresses in blue with baskets so they could be flower girls with the rest of the children. We wanted to see her date and who would watch the girls while we were eating dinner. You at home. She was looking forward to meeting our family members in December. She needed to know what date she should arrive. She would need to stay with me because she spent all her extra cash on your wedding. I was pretty shocked because she had done all this without even confirming she was invited. Not sure what made me ask, but I asked her if she really was in contact with the rest of the siblings. She told me some very concerning things. She had been in contact with two of them, a sister and a brother. She said they tried to talk to her, but then cut off contact. They were actually doing really well, even though they were in foster care until they aged out. They had their own kids, were married, had decent jobs. They had refused to introduce her to their kids and got mad. She wanted to know more details about their lives with our parents. The rest of the siblings turned down contact with her the moment she wrote them. She said I was the longest communication she had with someone in a long time. You just wanted to meet me so badly she had spent more money than she had to look nice. She wanted me to help her and for her girls to finally have a good family. I just told her the truth. You've been coming on too quickly. I'm a bit concerned because you're trying to invite yourself to my wedding. We have never met, we're pretty much strangers. I don't feel comfortable having you come stay in my home before, after or during the wedding. I have a sister and parents. I was raised with them. I do not view any of the siblings as actual family members. I'm not their aunt in anything but genetics and do not intend to recognize them as my nieces. If I have niblings, they will be when Elizabeth has children. I would like to cut contact. I'm sorry you've been hurt but I do not have the energy to help you overcome these issues. I don't want to talk about people I don't know. Mis-treatment, I don't remember or be part of any reunion stories. I would prefer to focus on my own family. But there is a little bit left to the story. Any final thoughts? I feel bad. Me too. It's just she's too much. She came on too quickly. She expected a lot. Yeah. I got a wedding to worry about. I don't want to rekindle or whatever. Yeah, it's such poor timing for OP. I feel like even the timing, even if they weren't getting married or whatever, just to invite yourself over and do all this. It's just way too much. I don't know you. I don't know. It's weird. Yeah. Inviting your two kids as well. It's too much. Go away. Leave us alone. I like the message that you sent. It was very stern. I don't think that it's mean. Take it as mean. But I just think it was very much like, okay. Yeah. This is what has happened. This is how I feel. And this is how I... This is my solution. This is how we're going to proceed. She can't take it the wrong way. I don't think. Janice told me she didn't have anyone else. I was the last member of her family. I reminded her that her children were her family and she should focus on making friendships. I hung up on her. She has tried calling back multiple times. I blocked her on everything I could think of. I'm going to have my personal number changed in the next few days. I feel relieved this is done with. Final comments. Plastic venous says you did the right thing. For both of you. The fact that her other siblings cut off contact shows that this lack of boundaries is a broader problem and eventually would have dragged you down. Whilst it's sad that she's in this position, she's not your responsibility and in fact is leaning dangerously close to being a liability. Hopefully she backs off and leaves you alone. Oh, he says. I do as well. Jake, my SO, doesn't think she will. We have a security ready for her showing up and my family is aware of everything and I've blocked her as well. And there we go. All good news. Yeah, I would be worried that she would show up at the wedding uninvited. If you have security, then we're all good. I don't know. She just seems like a sad lonely girl. Yeah. Doesn't have anyone and is just reaching out for any just strand of family or brand of something like just to find something. But it's like, girl, you can therapist. Yeah. Let's reach out to a therapist first. Yeah, I think that would be great. Then trying to confide in basically strangers. But that's the end of that story. And we've got another one coming right up. I promoted my sister's ex after they broke up and it was not pretty. He's just too good at his job, sis. I 40 male am in a weird situation here. My sister Sarah 34 female had been with Josh for three years. I own a business without getting too specific. I have eight employees right now. So fairly small. I hired Josh despite him having less experience than typical for a new hire. Originally as a favor to Sarah, but he was a natural fit from day one. He's been a huge contributor. By the way, this comes from representative map 767. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the R slash. Okay. Storytime subreddit as OP says all was fun and dandy until about three months ago. It came out that Josh had been sleeping with Sarah's best friend, Ashley. Oh my Ashley is now pregnant. Obviously, Sarah left him is now living with her parents in the house I pay for. He is now engaged to Ashley and living with her. I don't see this lasting. All this was happening. I tried to remain professional with Josh while I think he's a filth, tastic guy. Technically, personal stuff shouldn't be used against him at work. One of my longest employees, unfortunately, has had some major health complications come up and he unofficially retired keeping him on the books for insurance, but he won't be working for a while. Hate to say it, but Josh really stepped up in his absence. He's been incredibly essential in keeping us running and successful now more than ever before. Now that it's become clear that my other employee won't be coming back anytime soon, I needed to replace him. Josh is the natural candidate and all my other employees told me to promote him. So I gave it to him with about a 50% raise. Actually, he said, I'm not only going to promote you, but also he has a little more money. 50% more. He's crazy. That's pretty insane. Wow. Did we find out why they broke up again? He was sleeping with her best friend and got her pregnant and is now engaged to her best friend. That was a bad move. I don't know. It's hard because he's helping your business. Yeah. Business and social are very different, but it is a weird situation you've been put in. And I know you didn't put yourself there. But I gotta say I feel like if I were in the situation, my brother would not be doing that. Yeah. That is like biggest brother betrayal you can do. Yeah. Raise... Promotion and 50% raise. Oh, because he... I don't know. I guess I'll need it for that kid he's gonna have. What the person before him was making and he's been flourishing in it. Awkward part about that is Sarah just found out he was promoted from a mutual friend and is livid with me. Fair. She gave me an earful as did my parents and now I'm feeling pretty conflicted. I feel like personal life and professionals should be treated separately but my family is saying this is different. Any advice? And there is an edit. I'm gonna be honest, yes this might have been the right move professionally but your family's not gonna like you for it and sometimes you kinda have to like make choices like that in life. Do you want your professional life to continue upwards or do you wanna make your family happy? And that's literally genuinely the question you have to ask yourself. Yeah and plus like I don't know cause it's also her business so like and he's helped significantly. His busy guy. Oh yeah. It helps with his business. You could hire someone but they're not gonna be as experienced or maybe even successful as this person cause they've been there for a while and just know how to do it. Absolutely. It's like the obvious choice but they also made a horrible move towards your family. I genuinely think you are not in the wrong from a professional standpoint. Yeah. But does it mean your family has to like you for it? It is hard Opie. Well there is an edit. They were never married or engaged just living together, no kids together. I am not firing anyone. He hasn't broken any work roles and that would screw over everyone else who works for me. We do profit sharing and that would require turning down jobs due to not having bandwidth to take them on. It would also require more hours from anyone. I'm not going to do that as that wouldn't help anybody. People keep saying just hire someone else but we have a national worker shortage and this is a specialized position. Even if the perfect candidate came in it would take at least six months to get them to speed and that's with a candidate with ample experience. We have had open jobs for our entry level roles that we train for four months that aren't getting filled. Pay starts at 50K. We just haven't had qualified workers applying who are willing to do the work. It is not so simple. Timeline goes like, two years ago, hires Josh. Day one, old employee takes short leave. Josh fills in temporarily at first. Couple weeks later, this all comes out. Josh is still filling in and doing great. Three weeks later, old employee shares he will not be coming back due to health reasons. All my other employees tell me how great Josh is doing and how much they like working for him. Business is booming and they tell me how much they think Josh deserves the promotion officially. Two weeks later, I have to make a decision so I give him the promotion purely for performance reasons. A couple weeks after that Sarah finds out and that was in the last week. So he had only been working for a couple weeks with you before you gave him the promotion? But he was filling in. So technically you could replace him but you're just not getting people to come in. So and that is hard. Like it's hard to find a replacement especially in like specific work. I don't know exactly what you do OP but it seems like how you're describing it. It's like very specifically specific work that has to do with technical things it seems. So like if you're not in it, it's hard to explain. But also you said that the perfect candidate were to come in, it would take them six months but it didn't take Josh that much and he had no experience. Yeah. Cause you're like, yeah, he didn't have any experience but it was like, whatever he'll learn and he did learn and now he's doing great. So I feel like, I feel like someone else could do it. Someone else could do it. It's just no one has come forward to do it. It is hard cause obviously it's your business. You don't want it to just be destroyed just because this guy screwed your sister over. Yeah. It's hard. Oh, this is such a pickle. The thing is like, again, you gotta choose right here between your business and your family. Yeah. If you were to fire Josh, you would have to fill that position. If you couldn't fill that position, your employees are all gonna be overworked. They're probably gonna be mad because not only did you lose one employee, you're now losing two employees out of the eight that you have. So now you only have six employees trying to do an eight person job. Everyone's gonna be like overworked, tired, exhausted, frustrated, angry, whatever. And it's not like he's doing a bad job either. He just did bad things outside of work. He's just a bad person. Yeah. There's a difference. This is hard. This is hard. Herd underscore one. Let me ask you a hypothetical question. If Josh cheated with your wife or girlfriend being an exemplary employee at the same time, what would you do? Edit. My take, you have every right to put your business above your sister, but she has every right to feel betrayed by you. But spare us that BS about supporting her. Completely agree with that comment. Completely agree with that comment because this is not supporting her. This is you supporting your business. Which you're allowed to do. But just admit that. Yeah, admit that it's at the expense of your sister. Unfortunately, sorry sis, but business is booming and I cannot just fire another person. Sorry. And I'm also planning on hiring your ex-boyfriends of their child. We're gonna raise him up too. OP response. Hmm, that really makes me think. He sounds like that's such a business, like businessman response. That really makes me think. I'm gonna think about that while I keep doing what I'm doing. Give me two to five business days. I will think about this and send it in an email titled My Decision. What was it? That really made me think. That really made me think. My was final decision. Sis or work. I feel like I wouldn't be able to be objective in that situation. So I would make the emotional decision to fire him. I don't know if that would actually be an ethical business decision though. Being a little more removed from the situation, it's easier to be objective. Light Observer says, Josh has demonstrated poor ethics as a person. It should make you at least question his ethics when it comes to your business as well. OP response thing is, despite how bad of a boyfriend he was, he's never messed up at work. I worry about the message it sends to the rest of the team that personal life problems endanger your job. I've had a lot of employees over the years have relationships and marriages fail at times. Realistically, some have probably cheated, but I've never disciplined someone for how they handle their personal relationships. It's not about that. It's not about that. It's about the fact that this guy cheated on your sister weeks after you promote him, after he already did that. So he starts, then a couple of weeks later, cheats on your sister, then a couple of weeks later, you promote him. That's the issue here. That's the issue. It has nothing to do with, oh, I fire everyone who cheats on someone. See, the thing is, if the promotion wasn't up for grabs, like say this guy didn't get sick or whatever, and had to leave, he wouldn't have promoted him. So he have gotten the promotion or would he have just gone fired? Yeah, what would you have done if that guy hadn't left? Yeah, it just looks bad. The promotion looks really bad after all of that happened. Yep. That just seems wrong to me. If I had just hired him, it'd be one thing, but he's worked for me for two years without, okay, two years. Did we not read the timeline right? I don't understand the timeline then. Yeah. Back to the timeline. Go back in time. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, okay. Two years ago, hires Josh. Oh, day one. Day one, old employee, take short leave. It is a couple weeks into his, we just didn't realize how long it had been, but a couple weeks into working there, he cheats on OP's sister. So he hires him, day one, he already is taking this position. Yes. And then a couple weeks later, finds out he's cheating, and then three weeks after that, the old employee's like, can't come back. And so then he's like, two weeks later, I'm gonna promote him. That's the crazy thing to me. Looking back at the timeline, we went back in time, we checked the facts. He didn't know that the guy was leaving until after Josh had already cheated, right? Yes. So it wasn't even an issue. You kept him on after the fact. That's kind of a crazy thing to me. That's true. Yeah, I brought him. And maybe you couldn't have legally done that, but you haven't said that. That's true. You haven't told us that you could, you would have to fire him with cause or whatever. So that feels like to me, that's not an issue. I also didn't think of it legally how it could go, because you can't just fire someone with no cause. Yeah, or you can literally get sued and blah, blah, blah, all that. But OP hasn't said that's an issue. So I wonder if he can do that, and if he just didn't want to. Turbulent being 5212 says, come on, dude. If your sister employed someone who your wife cheated with, you would feel betrayed. You're willing to be unethical for yourself, but not for your sister. Your argument is personal versus professional life. Doesn't stand up. You're using it as a crotch. And why exactly are you not emotional here? Your little sister got extremely hurt by someone. It's crazy you're so objective. My take is that you're her big brother. You're supposed to protect her and be in her corner. If someone had cheated on me, I think it would be difficult to keep my brothers from not beating him to a pulp, let alone giving the dude promotions and being all buddy, buddy with him. Yeah, also how are you treating him while he's in office? Yeah. You know? Cause if you're giving a promotion, that feels like you're working fairly close with him. Are you, are you being all buddy, buddy? Are you like, hey Josh, my guy. Oh, another great day from the joshter. Excellent work in all areas of your life, Josh. Especially with my sister's screw her, I ate her. Yeah, don't like my sister. And also his whole spiel about being objective feels untrue. I think he just cares more. I think like the emotional thing for him is that he cares more about his business. Which is okay. You're allowed to care about your business. Like that's where your money's coming from. That's where, you know, that's where you're making a living. Just be honest about it. It's just at the expense of your sister. You're telling me there's not one person out there that could do his job. There's not one person you could bring in and train. Maybe inconvenient in the short term, but more inconvenient in the longterm to have a crappy relationship with your sister because of some dude. As for the legal aspect, do what big businesses do. Treat him crappy enough that he leaves on his own. Oh, certainly don't promote him. Increase his quality of life on your dime and then expect your sister to swallow it down and not feel betrayed. OP responds, he was already filling in, doing that job before all this came out. And he was doing it better than the person before. The hiring market is tough right now to find someone with this experience. I definitely felt conflicted, but the rest of my team was vouching for how well he's doing and how much they like working for him. I do feel bad for my sister, but my business supports seven other employees livelihoods. Supports my wife and three kids and my parents whose housing expenses I pay for. So indirectly paying to house my sister currently since my dad is on disability. It's not black and white. I understand my sister is hurt. At this point, I'm more asking how I can help do damage control. So he's like, I actually don't care about anything that you guys are saying about me betraying my sister, but what can I do where I still get what I want and also no one's mad at me for it? That's exactly it. Yes. Though I think giving her space is the right move now so she can cool off. Deleted responds, look, you can't fire him for personal reasons. Your sister and your family will be pissed at you for that. And with good reason, you can't possibly deny that. Try talking with your sister and family on what you can compromise with them. I'm sure you've already explained that you made your decision purely on business reasons and firing slash demoting him is off the table given that you can be sued for that. Info, have you talked to Josh about the issue with your sister? In hindsight, never mix family and business again. Opie responds, I talked to him once when it all came out. He apologized and told me he fell in love with the other woman. I told him I don't wanna hear about that or ever discuss this matter at work. And then all conversations from here on out would be strictly professional. He has abided by that since. As a rule, I don't discuss the two of them with each other no matter what. The consensus is not the A-hole and there is an update. I don't know, I don't like you though. I don't know, I'm kind of on Opie's side. I don't think that Opie's necessarily doing the wrong thing. I just don't like him. I just feel bad that he's the one making all the money, that he has a wife and kids to provide for. He also has all these other employees to provide for. Feels like an excuse to me. That's, what do you mean? That's not an excuse. It feels like he's just saying, oh, I get a new, I don't wanna do the work to get a new person. Well, yeah, cause it's hard. Cause he said that the- Yeah, I feel like he just doesn't wanna do the work. The business or the like hiring market is really bad right now. Man, I don't believe him. I don't buy it. I mean, he didn't even apply for the job. Sister Vowd for him was like, hey, he's looking for a job. Can he do it? And it's like, maybe I guess. And then all that happens and it's like, yai, yai, you can do whatever you want Opie. Yeah, you're doing the right thing business-wise. I'll tell you that. That's all I say. Update, Saturday night. We had a family dinner where my parents and Sarah are living. We didn't talk about the subject of the last post during dinner, but Sarah was being noticeably short with me to the point that my sons noticed. After dinner, I asked to speak in private to which she obliged. I reiterated to her that my actions with Josh were purely about business and had nothing to do with her. She told me she knows that and she was embarrassed at her reaction. It's just been a few really crappy months for her. Oh dang, wow. Yeah. I like her and I still don't like you. Basically, she told me she hates her job, is now single and missing her former best friend. And now she's having some anxiety about never finding someone before she's too old to have kids. And meanwhile, everything just keeps seeming to get better for her ex. I have to say that really was sad to hear from her. I told her I'm always here for her and asked her what ideally she'd like to do work-wise. Well, it turns out without getting too specific, what she would ideally like to do is something that one of my best friends has a business and needs someone to do that function. That friend owes me some favors for a jam. I got them out of in the past so I told her I'd see what I can do. Well, they connected Monday and really hit it off. They offered her a full-time position that she will now be starting in two weeks. She'll be making more money with better benefits, doing something she's always wanted to do. Also on Sunday, we actually went to the amusement park with my kids and her and I had a bit of a family day. Okay. Somehow you got it so that everything worked out for you. And you know what? I'm impressed. Somehow you did it. And I'm glad that you finally helped your sister. I feel like maybe you could have talked to her a while ago and then you wouldn't have had all these problems, but you didn't and you finally talked to her. All right, we're right at the end. Oh boy. She said that was great therapy for her and what she needed was to get out of the house. My parents are living in as she was just feeling sorry for herself there. She's looking at apartments this week and is hoping to find one near me as she loves hanging out. I'm not talking for you babysitting with her nephews. Sorry, this isn't the juicy update. Some people who were saying she's going to go to absolutely no contact with me were expecting, but it was a happy update nonetheless. I'm really excited for her to start her new job as I think she'll be much happier there. And she has a lot to offer. So I'm sure she'll find someone as soon as she's ready to start dating again. There are some more comments. Oh boy. Mad for it. Says the only scenario where I would be more on your side on this one is if your country slash state laws do not permit firing without just cause. I agree. Example as retribution for his actions in his personal life. Committing a violation against an employee production act and putting your business at risk of actual damage, not just the inconvenience of losing a good employee who you have no replacement for at the moment is a different situation entirely. OP responds, when I manage my business, I like to look at situations objectively. Firing Josh would have been purely revenge and would hurt him myself, his future child who has done nothing wrong and the rest of my employees. It also wouldn't have helped anyone. Sarah and I talked about it and she conceded that it wouldn't have actually helped anyone or anything either. We're all good now. I'd rather focus my energies towards helping people and accomplishing goals than hurting people out of retribution and Sarah agrees. Okay. I guess you won this time OP. OP, I don't know. I was on your side kind of the whole time. I wasn't, but it worked out for you. So I was on Sarah's side and Sarah is cool now. I'm glad that there was like a lot of communication throughout this and figuring out and being like, you know, I feel remorseful, but like if I fire him, like that's putting so many other people in a horrible position as well, you know. That's fair. I'm glad that you kind of, you know, you had this talk, this heart to heart and everything's good and she's getting out and she's doing it. And you also- And you helped her. Yeah, and you helped her and you did her favor. I did like that. It all worked out. Happily ever after really. I would still kind of give Josh a glare in the office every once in a while. Oh yeah, Josh, screw him. He's horrible. But anyway, that's the end of that story. And we got another one, camera at it. Hey, it's Keon, your favorite Filipino here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. It's like a joke. It makes me real down. I keep on going under it. Get that Toyota electric feeling with the all new, all electric Toyota Urban Cruiser, available with 0% APR representative and 1,500 pound deposit contribution, and save 1,500 pounds with the Toyota Electrified Saving. Visit your nearest Toyota center, Jemka Bromley. Priced from 2995, available on Toyota PCP when financed through Toyota Financial Services by 30th of June, 2026. Optional final payment and damages may be required to your website conditions apply. Fly with the fry. Chicken is here. The 20 hot wings bucket. 20 succulent hot wings for 799. Come under our wings and feel the flavor, savior. Sensation awaits. Get the deal. Believe in chicken. KFC. Available until the 19th of April. Subject to availability. Participating restaurants only. Excludes delivery. Faulties and sees at koc.co.uk. I asked my daughter to share her gifts with her stepsister. It didn't go well. Maybe she doesn't want to share. I, 40 female, was a single mother to my daughter, Amy, 15 female. I came out three years ago and married my wife, Jenna, 42 female last year. She had a daughter, Nora, 13 female. We all live together as I have full custody of my daughter. It was kind of hard for her to adjust having a second mom, but they got along well. By the way, this comes from emotional duty 5051. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit and OPSA. The girls have their birthdays very close, only two days apart. So we decided to have a joint birthday party for both of them, since Nora had a hard time making new friends. They moved in with us and she's very shy. Most of my family lives out of the country, so the gifts were sent a week early. It was a huge bag with at least 20 gifts. The party was nice and we opened the bag at night once everyone left. Jenna handed out the presents as she took them out. After 12 gifts in a row, just for Amy, I checked the bag and froze to see that there were only one gift for Nora from my parents. If you pretended it wasn't a big deal, but as she opened the present, I saw her face fall. It was a $15 tumbler from Walmart. Not to sound ungrateful, but Amy's gifts were much more expensive. Lots of gift cards, over $100, a new phone? Who got her a new phone? She gets a phone, this girl gets a tumbler. Limited edition Funkos, designer clothes, and lots of cards wishing her a happy birthday. Needless to say, I blew up in the family chat calling out my parents, siblings, and extended family who sent gifts for not considering Nora and my parents for the cheap gift. No one took me seriously since it's not our duty to give gifts to someone else's kid. And Amy deserved them, since I didn't even throw her own birthday party, emphasizing that Jenna and Nora are my problem, not theirs. Nora was clearly hurt since it's not the first time my family has left her out. At night, I asked Amy to share some of the gifts with her stepsister. Not all of them, just a couple of gift cards and some of the new quotes. Amy refused. This surprised me since she never had a problem with sharing. And even though she and Nora are not BFFs, they usually get along. After asking why, Amy started crying, saying that she never wanted a joint birthday party and that I forced her to share everything with Nora. That is really fair of her to say. Because they are two different people. That's why I feel bad when I was with the twins and everything, they will never have. They'll always have a joint. And they always get just the same things from everyone. It's like, okay, I got a shirt, you got a shirt. I got football gloves, you got football gloves. I got a car, a remote car, you got a remote car. It's the same gifts. They just both have to have them. Why would you even need two of the gifts anyway? Yeah, exactly. They're brothers, they'll probably just share. No, that was a thing. They were very much like, no, they each need to have their own thing. Like they don't share, even like food. Like if we had, like if I would make root or something and just cut it up for them, I would have to put it on separate plates for them to eat. Like they won't just like pick out, you know what I'm saying? Like yeah, they're like, no, no, no, they need their own. I don't know, but now they don't share. So I guess to make them feel individual or something, but they don't even like, say I gave them the wrong things and like I switched it, they wouldn't eat it. They're like, no, you gave it to him. I'm not touching that. No, I'd be like, that's ridiculous. They share a room for space and I make sure they're both invited to the same parties and sleepovers so that Nora won't be left out. I'm just going back really quick. There is a two year age gap. Nora is 13, Amy is 15. If I were 15, I don't know if I would want a 13 year old coming to all of the same events as me. That's true. Like yeah, they're sisters, but Amy probably wants to hang out with her own friends. Yeah, just cause Nora's like, you know, like a little shy and a little more introverted, doesn't mean that you should also put Amy at that expense as well. Exactly. And now have Amy share all of her friends with Nora. You know, like it's not fair in that way. They both have individual identities. You can't just, because it works for you guys, just do a joint birthday. Like no, they're two different people and they also don't even have the same birthday. I wouldn't have done the joint birthday. Yeah. They don't invite both of them. Then neither of them goes. That's so messed up. Yeah, what? That genuinely is really, you're the a-hole for that, OP. Amy can't hang out with her friends because her sister who hasn't, I mean, stepsister hasn't even been in her life that long. It wasn't invited. Amy stated that she at least wanted her own gifts to be hers alone. I scolded her for being selfish with her stepsister, grounded her and took a couple of the presents to give to Nora. You're an ale. She turned them down because she didn't want problems with Amy and it felt like pity. It was. This was you giving her pity gifts. Exactly. Yeah, it was like, no, I want her included. I'm taking your stuff when that was just, that's her stuff. Like, you know, and it's her birthday and they're two years apart and, you know, that's her family. You can't expect her family to give your extended family, you know, gifts as well. Like, I mean, my parents would, but that's just, you know, they don't want anyone to go without. Absolutely. But like, would your parents get, like let's say your parents knew someone for maybe two years, would they give them the same amount of gifts as they give you? Oh, no, I mean, like I would have more. Exactly. Yeah. So I totally understand why you're upset that Nora's feeling left out. And to a certain extent, I think that she was left out, which is not okay, but there is going to be a difference because Nora hasn't been in the family's life for very long. And that, and I don't even know if they've met Nora, because they said that all, most of her family's out of the country. Yeah. Have they all even met Nora? So it's like, they don't, they aren't close with her. They don't really know much about her. Maybe what she likes probably. Yeah. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. And so it's like, there's not really a relationship there. So they don't owe that to her, but like obviously it is like the nice thing to do. Yeah. To send something. But obviously the ones that you have a special relationship slash connection with, like those are the ones you're going to go above and beyond. Exactly. Exactly. They're not going to send Nora a girl they don't know, a iPhone. How I think of it is like, okay, so like my parents will give all of us presents for Christmas. And then, but she also gives all of the cousins like presents for Christmas, but each of them just gets like one. But I obviously, like everyone in my family gets like 10 or something, you know, it just really depends like how expensive or whatever. But like, I feel like that makes sense. That's reasonable. Yeah. You don't have to give as much to them as you do to me since I am your child. And if Nora feels left out, then you and her mom, as the parents need to go above and beyond for her, not just to your Amy's gifts. Yeah. And you can't just like expect the family to just do that for you, you know? Since then Amy has been cold to all of us. I just want my two girls to be closer with the joint party and have the same things. Am I the ale? Yeah. And we've discussed it. Clarification, Jen and I bought gifts for the girls, their own tablets, as well as their friends. Nora also received gifts from her extended family, but they sent for Amy as well. How many did they send to Amy though? Update. I didn't answer many questions in the comments because seeing the number of replies, I decided to make an update once things calmed down. I admit and accept that I haven't been the best mom to Amy. I love my daughter, but I always wanted a bigger family and was desperate to make it work. You were actively making it not work. I also accept that I favored Nora as I want her to recognize me as her mom's partner or stepmom. I talked to my wife and she agrees that I forced too much on the girls to share and being sisters to the point of being ridiculous with my, if both of them aren't invited, neither of them goes rule. At first she was okay with Amy, including Nora in her friend group as she was always very shy and we didn't want her to be lone. But with the rule, I basically made Amy Nora's babysitter. In fact, I didn't know this. Amy went to her crying after I took away her presence and doesn't feel that I love her anymore. It made me cry. I thought we were a happy family. Waiter, I talked to Amy, begged her forgiveness and promised that I would do things right from now on. She forgave me very quickly. See, it was that easy, OP. It was that easy. She just wanted you to listen to her. I also asked how she really feels about the blended family. She said that she really likes Jenna, but doesn't feel anything special towards Nora. I thought they loved each other. Turns out not. They barely tolerate each other. I asked her why and Amy said, I've only known her for a year and she's kind of weird. Later I talked to Nora to apologize for the party and everything else. She was upset, but she also forgave me. Nora also confirmed that they don't really care about each other. They're just polite because they live together. Based on everything that happened, we're starting to make some changes. We're going to move Amy into the basement. Since the house is small and there's only two rooms, she chose to have it as her bedroom. We'll throw Amy her own party next month as she wanted. Nora didn't want to have one. And needless to say that if both of them aren't invited, neither of them goes rule, no longer exists. There is a little bit left to this story. Any final thoughts? I think it was a real eye-opener for OP. Oh yeah. I'm glad that you took the advice of others of just being like, dude, you can't just control. You can't just be like, yeah, you're going to be friends and you're going to like it. And your friends are going to come. And I know you don't have any, but you can go in with them. And if you don't want to, then no one's having anything. That's way too controlling. It's giving helicopter mom. Agreed. I just don't. That's never a good thing. Control. You can have control. Yeah, this control is a good thing sometimes, but not over control to being like, you have to love your sister after knowing her for a year. Yeah. And if you push that, they're not going to like each other even less. Oh, exactly. That's like those kids that like very strict parents are like, you only do this. You can't go here. You can't do that, blah, blah, and then they end up being so sneaky. Because it's like, you don't let me do anything. And this is the only time I can go out and get experience and explore and whatever. So it's like, I'm going to do it. And now I'm doing it in an unsafe way. But we've got a little bit left. I'm proud that my girls found the place in their hearts to give me a second chance. And according to some advice I read in the comments, it was wrong of me to force them to be a family immediately. You can't force love. I should know that better than anyone. And I'm ashamed of my actions. They've been spending more time together lately, but I won't force anything. Their relationship is up to them. I don't know if this is what you expected. From the comments, most people expected Amy to go live with my parents, go no contact with me in the future, or that Jenna would divorce me and take them both. I started going to therapy a few weeks ago to work on my problems and hopefully be a better mother and wife for my family. Even if the comments were a bit harsh, I appreciate the interest and help. I honestly think you needed some harsh comments. Yeah, I think you needed a wake-up call. But that is the end of that story and we've got some comments. Oh, hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here. And we're going to get back to the stories, but here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors. At twoy, we give you more. More outfit choices with 20 kilograms of luggage allowance as standard. More hotels built around what you love, like that swim up suite. More race you to the bottom, water parks on site. More, ooh, that looks good. Food options from poolside snacks to ala cart dining. Book on app, in-store or online. You book it, twoy sort it. At all and after protected, keys and C's apply, selected hotels only see website for details. And these comments are from the story, my mother's boyfriend made me realize how insecure my stepmother is. And this was posted February 13th, 2026. Until the hour for story one, Opie grew up feeling unwanted in her dad's house because a stepmom treated her like she did not belong. She was left out of family trips, pushed out of Christmas photos, and even called a weekend daughter. Oh, her dad kept pictures of her hidden in his office, but never truly stood up for her. When her mom's boyfriend showed her what real care looks like, Opie realized the way she was treated was not normal. After one more Christmas without her, she finally confronted her dad. He chose his wife over her. So Opie made a choice too. She walked away from the house and said, she'll not come back as long as her stepmom is there. If you're curious to know the full story, you can go watch the full video. We've got a comment from Fly Girl Medic, who says as a stepmom in a stepmom group, I don't know what group she's talking about, but the one I'm in would absolutely tear into this stepmom for treating Opie like that. My step sons are my sons too. It breaks my heart that people are out there justifying treating a child this way. And Joy Hottaja says, the 17 year old gal should be proud. He's dealing with the father stuff at 17. I pushed it down until my 40s. And comment four from Smile 5210, I would be livid if my partner prioritized me over our daughter. But Mariana says, I've always thought your spouse should come first, but that only works if you actually choose a good one. Someone who isn't selfish, isn't greedy and would never put your kids in a bad spot. If you don't have that, the whole thing doesn't work. When your priorities are clear, you can look at situations more in the sense of it as a want or a need. And just because your spouse comes first doesn't mean your kids come last. It just means you value both parties. You protect your kids, you support your partner, and you make choices that are good for the whole family. And that is the end of that story and those comments. And the end of this episode. So if you love us, make sure to subscribe. And we love you and see you tomorrow. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.