Choosing Empathy Over Fear: Grief, Courage, and the Power of Community with Tanya Monaghan & Luisa Cabrera Faist

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I am thrilled to have these two wonderful ladies on with me today. But before I start, I talk a lot about signs on this podcast. And these two women have dealt with their own fair share of loss in their own lives. And we can kind of talk about that as well with all the other things we're going to talk about. So a couple weeks ago, I told this story on the podcast. I lost my best friend. My listeners all know. You guys know. and I went into this box because I was looking for a picture of something and I know I had looked in this box. I think I told one of you this story. I know I had looked in this box pretty recently and all of a sudden I found this card and I've already told this story on the podcast and the card was about like my best friend and the hippo and the bird and she writes this whole card and like at the very end of the card, she writes PS, you're the hippo. Because there was a hippo and then a bird on the hippo stomach. And that was just Julie. That was my best friend. She was funny. We love to get each other's goats, whatever. So today I was looking for if you're watching on YouTube, I have my pink earphones that my husband got me for Christmas. I think my daughter has the same pair. Anyway, I was trying. No, totally. I'm like, hi, I'm in third great. I was trying to, I was trying to find just like a small, a small pair of earphones. And so I was looking in all the different desks and things in my house. And for, for a very long time, this has been my favorite quote. My favorite book is a book called The Wheel of Life by Elizabeth Kubler Ross. So if you're ever going through a loss, I tell people all the time, read this book. She also wrote on death and dying. She's written all different kinds of books about grief. So I'm in this drawer and I have not been able to find this exact quote and I don't even know how many years. And suddenly this small card, do you see this? How old this is? Yeah. Is in my hand, horrible handwriting like falls out of the desk. And I feel like it was some kind of sign because I knew I was going to be recording with you guys, I might get emotional. And, um, and I just know that it was Julie sending me a sign today. So the quote is some flowers bloom only for a few days. Everybody admires and loves them as a sign of spring and hope. Then they die, but they have done what they needed to do. And I just, this is my literally one of my favorite quotes. And I just felt like What a way to start the podcast with you both that have gone through so much in your own lives with loss and grief. I just that's Julie right there for you guys. So my long winded story is over. I'm going to introduce you both. Tanya Monahan is a dear friend of mine. She is the editor of one of the co-editor of South Bay Magazine, which is deputy editor. OK, deputy. Thank you. deputy editor of South Bay magazine, which is a local, um, a local magazine to the South Bay, where we all live. She's also quite the fast fashionista. We're going to give your, uh, your handles and everything at the end of the podcast, but she is, I can't tell you how much I love this woman, how grateful I am that she came into my life. And I'm just so grateful to have you on the podcast. Number two, in no order, in no particular order, Louisa Cabrera faced, did I say it right? Because we had a whole conversation, a funny conversation before we recorded about that. Louisa is also my friend. Over the past couple of years, we met and we all, the three of us, and I left out, you are a marketing executive, but you've also started your own South Bay group recently called the Rev Collective. And I'm going to have you talk about that at the end of the podcast or throughout and why you did it. But welcome, ladies. Welcome, welcome. Thank you so much for having us, Megan. I mean, that was like an hour and a half long intro. We're 430. And that's how long it took me to shut my big giant mouth. So listeners, earth. Part of the reason I have these beautiful women on with me today, beautiful inside and out is because I think over the past, I would say year, I've started to get more political on this podcast. Unfortunately, I wish I didn't have to because when I started this five and a half years ago, it was just supposed to be a podcast about mental health, grief, loss, aging, vanity, like all the things, light things, hard things, how we get through grief, signs like I just talked about in the beginning. But I felt like if I didn't start using my voice, that I would be lying to all of you. So I will be honest, I have lost listeners over the past, you know, year that I started talking to people. I've also gained some amazing listeners when I started having, you know, Congressman Eric Swalwell on or Marianne Williamson, some of the people I had on have been have made people leave. But I believe in my heart of hearts that I'm supposed to be here talking about this exact thing. So I started a group called South Bay Takes a Stand with these two beautiful women. And I'm going to start with Louisa because this you guys had the initial idea and then you brought loudmouth Megan in. So Louisa, can I just start with you? I want you to tell my listeners why we started this group, what it's about, and just a little bit about yourself and why this is so important to you. Thank you so much, Megan. It's just an honor to be here and to watch you do your magic. South Bay Takes a Stand really originated in the moment that we started to see ice activity in our South Bay community. And I have this very clear memory of going to one of our favorite local coffee shops, HiFi Espresso, and running into a friend and having her say, you know, how are you? And I was just so like distraught, like deeply distraught by what was happening. And so my response was just like, oh my gosh, it's just so like, it's too much. And she responded like, Oh my gosh, like what happened? And it was just this moment for me where I realized like how easy it was to be in an area that is, you know, predominantly white, very affluent, very privileged for this bubble to make us feel so disconnected from things that were even happening within our own community. Right. So we knew, we saw that there were for immigrants being targeted, you know, whether it was at the car wash or the grocery store or nannies were concerned about, you know, taking the children that they were caring for out. And that was kind of the breaking point for me where I felt like the fact that we don't have a voice here in this particular community where there is so much influence is something that I wanted to change. Right. And so I quite literally texted Tanya and we had just been, the three of us had just been at the No Kings March in Torrance. And I said to her, is there something that we can do here in the South Bay? Because as much as I fully appreciate everything that's happening in very local vicinity, I didn't feel that it would be taking away. If anything, I felt like it was just building on the momentum to have something specifically here in the South Bay, in Manhattan Beach, Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach. And I grew up here. I am the proud daughter of a Cormier immigrant who fell in love with a California boy. They moved here. When my mom got married, she came from Columbia at the ripe age of 21. And they raised me here in Redondo Beach, California. And so as a Hispanic woman, as a woman of tremendous privilege that I feel so fortunate for, I've learned how important it is to use our voice and to listen to our instincts because it was that moment, it was like that moment of like, wait, we should, something should be happening here, not only to kind of shake people into the reality, but also to give a voice for a lot of people like yourselves who I knew were struggling too, because that was the other part. I was like, I have friends who I know feel really passionately about this. And so reaching out to you was, you know, just the best thing I could have done to say, Hey, how do we, let's, let's do this and let's, let's get it out quickly, which is exactly what we did. Okay. So I want to just say one thing Also, for my listeners that might be listening, you know, in different countries, or they might be wondering, why are you doing a podcast about the South Bay? I feel like part of the reason I wanted you both to come on is also to hopefully inspire other women, strong women, because I think the three of us are strong, is to use your voices, that what we have done with this group, and we're going to kind of go into it after I introduced the beautiful Tanya is to never, never shut down, never not feel like your voice matters. Because now more than ever, our voices matter, especially women, I think women, you know, we have been pushed down so much in history. And as they say, if women could, if women had a shot at ruling the world, we wouldn't have the issues that we do. Correct. So I also wanted to reiterate that how important it is to the three of us that we, we not only, I hate using the word inspire, but make women take a deep look at themselves and what really matters and not to hide behind a husband and his thoughts or what other people around you, we do live in an affluent community. like you just brought up. And I, you know, your story really struck me because there are so many people that are like, what are you talking about? They might not read or watch the news and they might be listening to what their husbands are saying or other people are saying. And it's really important right now, listeners, wherever you're listening to really educate yourself because you, your children are listening and your children need you right now. So I'm just going to say that if I ugly cry throughout this episode, it's really nothing new. Um, but I already feel it coming on. So Tanya, but thank you. I, I just wanted to kind of come in and say that that's part of why we're doing this today and why we're here. Tanya, I want you to take it away and tell everyone about yourself and why you decided to join this group and start this with us. um yeah so i think you know many people don't know i think you know people can look at the three of us and you know just think we're just typical americans um you know i too came over as an immigrant from south africa at the age of seven um and i left a country that you know during the height of apartheid i come from south africa and i left at the height of apartheid my family was lucky enough to be able to immigrate. And, you know, I grew up, you know, this is like the early 80s. And of course, many people are like ignorant about where I came from. But I always felt just so blessed to live in this country, where it just felt, you know, it's just known as like land of the free home of the brave, like, everyone is accepting and it's a land of immigrants. And it's, you know, the big hope, you know, the American dream. And never, ever in my wildest dreams did I ever, or should I say nightmare, did I ever think we would get to this point where we have regressed so far backwards. It's like heartbreaking to me. And I also just have that experience of like seeing this movie before, you know, just the way things have been unfolding. It's very reminiscent of what, you know, that's how apartheid came into like the way things were in South Africa. And, you know, in the beginning that they're actually known for having like the first concentration camps. Like this is, I've seen this before and it's like the control of like the media and what you have access to. And I just never, ever thought that this would happen here, but it's happening. And that's where, you know, it's just, I think as a mother, as a human being, um, when things are affecting like innocent children and families are being torn apart and happening to like good, decent people shouldn't be happening anyway. but like just the fact that, and no one can argue otherwise, like the way this is unfolding is just completely unjust and with no due process and all that. And I just always thought that I was part of a country, like it's so grossly un-American what's happening. America is like, you know, I always thought we are, even when Trump came into power, I was like, well, but we, I was comforted. Like we have checks and balances. It's going to be okay. And that is just gone away. And that is like, we should all be terrified. And I don't care like what anyone, you know, we all see things differently. I recognize that. But everyone in America should be afraid right now because our rights are being taken from right under our noses, like freedom of the press, freedom of speech. I won't even get into all the atrocities and the evilness that's happening, but just on that basis alone, we should all be scared. And that's why I think this is a time where it doesn't matter if you're left or right, Democrat, Republican, where you're libertarian, whatever. This is like, we are the people, we are Americans, and we should all be looking at this as Americans. And we need to be united right now. I'm sick of the divisiveness. And I think that's what we showed on Sunday is that again, never in my wildest nightmares did I imagine we'd be where we are, but I also never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that so many people would show up like in our little beach town. Like when we got up on that lifeguard tower and we looked like, you know, remember we all started crying because we just looked out there and to think that all those people came, you could see people till, till I could see no more. And that that happened in our little town. And that that happened because we started this in motion. You know, it's, it's just, it's unbelievable to me. And it just, I can't tell you like just the hope that just restoring my faith in humanity that day, it's, it's just, I'm still on a high. And, and I think, you know, I just have to give credit to like Louisa, you know, I sent her a text actually of the initial, our text back and forth from going to the no Kings protest, you know, in, in Torrance and, you know, we, I'd made the, wait, let me just say for listeners, Torrance, Torrance is, I'm just going to give them a quick backstory. So Torrance is Torrance, California. And the three, I don't even remember how I met both of you. Like, I do remember, but I don't remember. All I know is for my listeners is these are two fierce women and beautiful souls, like incredibly beautiful, powerful souls that truly care about other people. So I think I've known Tanya off and on for a few years and I met Louisa a few years ago. But what I was going to say is we, I think you mentioned, we went to this march in Torrance, California over in the very beginning of the summer, maybe even May. And then you can finish why we decided to start our little group called South Bay Takes a Stand in our own community So you can explain that but I kind of just wanted to go backwards and explain that Yeah Well it was it was I started making t like peaceful protester t-shirts. And so all of us, um, you know, and I understand everyone's scared to go to these things. And even there was one in El Segundo and there was one in Torrance, but I really wanted to go to the Torrance one because I just knew through Nina, another one of our friends, She was just like, listen, it's super peaceful. It's got a huge elderly community. It's just so wonderful to see all these elderly people come out in the, you know, in their wheelchairs or in their seats that they just sit and like hold something. And the fact that they've had to fight for this way back when and then have to go through this again. I mean, they're all just like, what the fuck? You know, I already did this. I love the Torrance one. I think for that reason, it's just a very diverse group. And, and the, the showing is, is massive. And so when we went to that one, I think all of us came away from that, just feeling like it was uplifting. I didn't feel unsafe. It was just wonderful. And we brought our, all of our kids came. It was very, very beautiful. And it was that day I was sharing pictures and Louisa texted me and she was just like, we need to do this. We need to do this in the South Bay. Like, I love that we're going to Torrance, but like, you know, we should also do this within our own community. Like, like, let's do it. And then I was like, let's do it. And then, you know, we started to kind of pick people that would amplify because I, I have to give Louisa is a marketing genius. I mean, straight to work with like the branding is like, like impeccable and beautiful. And, you know, I, I'm, you know, I, I've magazine world, I was a graphic designer, but I do have to give her credit for, she did all the work on that. And it is, it has just been amazing. And then we just needed to amplify it. So, you know, like I, I helped magnify it. We brought in like several people, you know, like Megan and cause we knew, you know, Louisa was actually like Megan, I know is aligned with us. Let's get her on board. And then remember Megan, I just happened to bump into you and I was like, Hey, we're doing a March. And then you're like, yeah, I mean, and then it just grew from there. You know, it's like Sarah Hap also like an amazing ally, like Megan from South Bay buzz, Chris Talbot, who is just a wonderful man that, that is just such like pro woman, like always has our back. Um, our husbands, um, you know, Robert or Bob. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Tiffany King. Yeah. And then Robert came in afterwards. Oh yeah. You're right. Okay. And then, I mean, I'm friends with this one. Just for what he's doing and following him, he's just been a great resource for me and bringing him in was like amazing. And he did such an amazing, you know, we'll, we'll talk about him in a minute, but I just, I wanted to, Louisa, if you want to throw anything in there as well, I just wanted to reiterate the fact that this, if you're listening right now and you're in like Alabama, for example, or Georgia, I have listeners all over the country and you're in a small town and you think I'm a, I'm in a red town. I cannot get a bunch of women to get together and do this. Um, you know, we do live in a pocket of Los Angeles that was, and again, we are, I'm trying to reiterate, this is not, and I think somebody brought this up already. This is not a blue or a red issue. This is an issue across the board of humanity and what is right and what is wrong. And so I think that the people that are still kind of, and I hate to bring this up, but I'm going to, because I've brought it up before on the podcast. If you are, you have a parent, for example, or an aunt or an uncle, and they have Fox News turned on 24 hours a day. You know, it's our jobs to kind of talk to them and not not attack people. I think that's a really important thing. And it's something that we try to focus on, on our marches and our vigil is don't we can't attack each other anymore. We can't be like, you are bad, because of this, this in this. You never know like why that person. I have family members that are still on the other side. And to be honest with you, you guys both know it is absolutely heart wrenching and so extremely painful for me. But to be fair, I know what they're watching. And I've done the test myself to see why are they thinking this way? So when I say to all my listeners, wherever you are, if this, I'm talking about myself, if this blonde could get up and be a part of something like this, like the girl that looks more like a Karen than anyone else doing this, you guys can do it. You can talk to your friends. You can get out there. You can kind of like, I say all the time, like light that fire, get those two sticks together, like when you were in Girl Scouts and start the little flame and then the flame can grow. Right, Louisa? I would love to hear what you think about that. Yeah, I mean, I couldn't agree more. I think the truth is we we need white women to help us get this message out and to share how important this is. I think if you look at historically, like white women have contributed to why we're in this situation because of misinformation and because of misogyny and because of all these things. I think, you know, I go back to November, the elect of the election year. And, you know, Megan had mentioned she's lost her best friend. One of the things that we had connected on prior to this was that I had also lost my best friend, Laura. She died of colon cancer at the age of 36 back in 2022. And she is my angel and my driving force in so many ways. But I was coming up on the second year of her anniversary. She passed away December 2nd and the election was happening and there were just other things in my life going on. And I've struggled and I speak very openly about this because I think it so important with mental health issues, depression, anxiety. And I go back to the night of the election. And I legitimately couldn't get out of bed for the next week to the point that I had to tell my job that I needed to take some time from work, mental health days. And I took three weeks of days during that time. And I think it all comes back to our instincts as women of understanding just how poisonous the situation is and how bad these things are. When he was first elected, I remember writing, you know, the moment that we say it's okay for a man to say, you know, grab a woman by the pussy or, you know, be accused of sexual harassment. And we say that's still not a deal breaker for who our president is, is the moment we start to allow inhumanity to breed, right with a moment which allow for racism and racist actions and overt you know um you know bigotry in our world that's the moment that we're allowing for terrible things to happen and that's what i've always felt and i remember during that that crisis in in november having the conversation that tanya talked about with my husband and him saying but there's checks and balances and it's going to be okay. And he, and he's just going after felons and the worst of the worst. And of course, in good faith, he wanted to say it's going to be okay. But I think my body knew it wasn't going to be okay. Like there was no, I couldn't lie to myself. And that's what threw me into that state. And I think, again, I think seeing women like yourself, Megan, speak up and speak out is one of the most appreciated things, especially by a minority woman. I remember it being in Chicago and being taken to the Women's March by one of my best friends who also is blonde and blue eyed and her mom and her mom being a very longtime activist and seeing this white woman be so outspoken for women's rights and for, you know, anti-racism and all these different things when Black Lives Matter happened. And I can't stress how important it is to see somebody who has the privilege, use that privilege in a way that says, hey, I see you. Because I think that's been the hardest thing is that I see myself in these children, in these concentration camps. I see a little Latina girl. I see my cousins. I see my mom. I think that it's so hard for me when I have friends that don't see themselves in these situations and therefore don't feel like it's their fight to fight, right? Because it's, it feels like they don't care about me, right? It's like an, a personal affront to be like, how do you not, is it because this child is Brown that you don't get upset because I'm Brown because my kids are, I mean, my kids are darker than I am, right? Like, it's just that. So again, so just saying like white women, you have so much power to make change in this world. And I think we have been led and fed lies about the men who have a lot of power over what white women think and say and do. I think I've always said when Kamala was, you know, at the last minute decided to be, you know, the Democratic nominee, my concern was we live in a super misogynistic, very racist world right now. Like we are throwing her to the wolves. And that was so upsetting to me because all I could want is somebody like Kamala to be elected, to see a brown woman as the president of the United States who cares, who had love in her house. And I think to the point of unity, right? Like when we started the speeches, I knew what the first thing I wanted to say to that crowd in the South Bay was that the only reason we are here today is because of love, period. Like that is it is love of immigrants. It is love of families. It is love of children. It is love of our constitutional rights because they allow us the freedoms that we so should cherish and that are under attack right now. But at the end of the day, everything is is love based. And I think that there's so much fear based activity from people who are on different sides. Right. Versus at the end of the day, what is it we want? What are we taught? We've talked a lot about the Christianity element. Right. I've been raised Catholic. I'm bringing my kids up in a Catholic school. Like I said to my husband the other day, I was like, what is the point? I don't get it. What is the point of all this? If we are not all out there saying this is not OK, because that is as clearly in Jesus's image as anything could be, you know, and yet we have in our community a lot of people that are just turning a blind eye. And so that's kind of what prompted, you know, I think I think, too, for listeners that aren't Christian or listening in a different country or wherever you are. they're probably wondering, because I do get people writing into me like, what is going on? What is happening? You don't have to be Christian, or you could be whatever, Buddhist, whatever you are to know that there's a big issue here. And what I spend a lot of time at two in the morning when I wake up thinking about is, I mean, I'm middle-aged, so that's what happens, is how can I talk to people without attacking them? And what do I need to do? Because I hate to say, you know, if you, I don't know if you guys watched Saturday Night Live last weekend, but it was so funny. It was this skit about this, this mom and her kids were all like, say, you know, they have thought that Donald Trump wasn't great since 2016. And the mom comes on and she goes, I have to say, I'm starting to think that this is wrong. And all of the people are like, what are you saying? We've been telling you this for years. So like I said, and like you kind of talked about, that's why this is so important is listeners. If you are like still supporting Trump and you are listening and you're probably like, Megan, shut up, whatever you're thinking, I want you to listen to this, but I say all the time to you listeners, read other things. I read that. I read everything. I read, I watch CNN. Sometimes I watch Fox because I want to see what they're saying. Sometimes I watch MSNL. A lot of times I read. The Washington Post is under attack now. I grew up in Washington, DC. Our publications are under attack. Our journalists are under attack. They can't say what they want to say on these shows. Don Lemon, for example, was just arrested. I happened to be watching that stream on that weekend morning because I followed Don Lemon for a long time since he was on CNN. And I just happened to click on it. I watched the entire thing. I can tell you listeners, he did absolutely nothing wrong. And if anything, at the end of that stream, all he said throughout was, I am a journalist. I'm not here to protest. He said to a man and his young boy as they walked out. I think he even apologized for what they were going through because they came to go to church and they didn't really know. So I can tell you, our system in the United States is under attack. And part of why we started South Bay Takes the Stand, which is our little group, our grassroots effort that the three of us started, and we added in these other fantastic people that have supported and helped us. In June, we did our first walk. OK, so we talked about the No Kings March in May. I think that's when it was or beginning of June in a week and a half. These three ladies, with the help of some other people, put together a march. And I think, correct me if I'm wrong, we had you tell me how many people we had in the first one. Do you think I would probably 2000? I think 2000. OK. And then we did a few months back, a few months ago, we said, let's do a candlelight vigil. Because as this has started to grow, you know, we don't want to be doing this. We don't want to be spending our own money. And do I, you know, I was walking around from door to door. Some people gave me the side eye, giving our little flyers. Tanya was with me one of the days. Louise is the queen of all of our marketing. So if you want to follow us on social media, our social media started by Louisa is called South Bay Takes a Stand. So she does all the marketing. So each one of us has brought our own thing into this. Tanya has a huge following with her magazine in the South Bay. And so, you know, we've all come together as women to do this. So then we did the Candlelight Vigil in, I think, when was that? Like two months ago, maybe November? It was the vigil before the deaths of Renee Good. Okay. Yeah. So we did a candlelight vigil. Yeah. That one, I don't think was as well attended as we had hoped for, but that's also when we brought in Nina and Bob also just like tremendous. Who we're going to talk about. Yeah. So let's talk about that before we talk about the next. So then the one that we just did, we'll, I'll talk, we can talk about that one, but talk about, let's talk about Nina and, and Bob, because why we kind of brought them in, I would love for Tanya, you, you to take this one. Why, like, as this has grown, why we brought them in. Well, Nina, I've known for years. And she lives on the same street as my brother. So I've, I've been, I've worked with her husband. We have a long going, um, you know, friendship and I've just always admired her. She's very vocal. She's now become councilwoman of Manhattan beach, which is a hard line to walk with, you know, also trying to remain true to herself. And, um, Nina is, you know, has a very touching story. So much like what Louisa was talking about that Louisa is like, you know, I look in these concentration. I look at these children and I, I felt like that, that, that could have been me. And with Nina, you know, Nina came over literally on a boat, like was a refugee was one, you know? And so for her, this is just a very, very hits, very close to home. And, you know, she's one of the lucky ones. She's obviously, you know, she's legal. She's married to an American. She has kids, But she really, with all of these, like going back to the Women's March, Black Lives Matter. Oh, sorry. I've been like, I've gotten to know her through all of those because I've, you know, attended all of those. And she's just not afraid to speak up. And I really, really admire her for that. So as soon as Louisa was like, hey, let's do this in South Bay, she was the first person I said, we need to bring Nina on board. And I actually mentioned also who I love. I actually mentioned Ray. the mayor of promosso beach as well because he he he incredible too And like a very like aligned voice in in the South Bay And he was also at our recent March Um Bob also just brings a lot of wisdom and knowledge and all of he knows all the ins and outs with the, you know, legal ramifications of all of this. He's on the ground. Like he right now he's literally in DC. I don't know if you've been watching that unfold. He is an incredible, incredible, um, like voice. He, well, he stands up for the immigrants. Yeah. Been an incredible, like, what do I, what do I say? He's just, he's, he's, he's been an incredible, also just a resource for me for, with like information, I think for all of us, he has a huge heart. And honestly, like at the drop of the hat, he's there. Like I, you know, that I think, Louisa, I think we only, I think I invited him like literally like two days before the vigil. And he's like, I got you. Same thing with this one. We're like, oh wait, Bob should come. I got you. He comes, he comes with his entire family, with his daughters. His wife is just, just a lovely human being. Also just such a supporter of him and, um, and everything that we're doing. So I do think like those two are very prominent people, um, that have really helped also with like our speaking, you know, like offering different perspectives. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at shopify.nl. 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So the candlelight vigil we did a few months ago, and then obviously this whole thing has kind of snowballed with the Alex Preddy, Roy Wood Jr. a few months ago. I think that was in December. Renee Good. What has happened with ICE in Minnesota? has, whoever, I think Louisa, you talked about it, just knowing being an American my whole life, you know, I grew up in Washington, DC, my parents were Reagan Republicans, I could have cared less about politics, I think, until probably the women's march, and I started to be interested around Obama, like that time, I don't even think I voted, to be honest with you, until I was like 30 years old. I'm not kidding. I just didn't care. I took it for granted. I just went, oh, I'm a Republican, but I didn't do anything and I didn't understand it. And then you brought up the feelings like I know I'm privileged. I know I look a certain way and I'm white and I walk into a store, for example, and I get a certain kind of treatment that a person of color won't get. I know that I carry privilege, but as part of my privilege is my responsibility. you know and that's why I think this is so so important listeners if you're listening that you know I say this all the time I remember September 11th and where I was we all always will and what the next day how incredibly kind we were to each other that somebody would be in traffic and you'd go oh no no no you go ahead and I just took for granted the safety of being American and the fact that in my head, I thought we were the good guys. And to be honest with you, that kind of breaks me. I don't know about you guys, but it kind of, it really does break me to know that 250 years of history of, of doing the right thing. And what I thought was the right thing, that we were the good guys, that we would come in and help and we would do this. I just feel so stupid because I knew there was corruption. There always is. There are politicians, you know, there's things going on behind the scenes. But I always thought that it was about us being the good guys. And I just feel so stupid for thinking that. OK, right. So then cut to our latest last weekend. We did this protest and I'm going to let one of you take this over. But I will tell you this. whoever wants to take this one, like whoever said we were on this panel, like up on like a lifeguard stand with thousands of people watching us and just the tears, like the crying that people, I think the best thing about Sunday was feeling like I had that September 12th feeling again, that people actually care, that they care, and that there's more of us than them. That's what I think. But you take it away from there. Yeah, I think in some ways it's really, right? You start to feel a little crazy, right? Especially when you're in an environment where you don't have other people overtly talking about it or feeling it. I think I very much recognize, and I think all three of us are pretty deep empaths. And it takes me honestly all the way back to George Floyd's murder. I remember, again, feeling so devastated by the state of this country and a lack of accountability. And I worked at the time as the president of the auxiliary board of Chicago's oldest Boys and Girls Club, which predominantly was black children in Garfield Park, which is one of Chicago's most dangerous areas. And so, again, I had this personal connection in that way where I saw these little ones that were not safe. Right. And yet, and, you know, your spouse is the person that you go off of. Right. I'm married to a white American. He's the best guy. I adore him. But we had really hard conversations where I was like, I was so like, overcome. And it's not to say that he wasn't impacted by it, but it was a really hard point for me to be like, why aren't you saying anything? Why aren't you? And he did. He ended up posting, but it had to come in with it from a conversation from that. And I think that, you know, in our marriage, we've talked a lot about this. I'm an Athena married to a white man and reminding him and reminding my white guy friends of the privilege that they have and the ability that they have to make an impact. I think one thing I wanted to say, Megan, because you made a really interesting and important point was follow other people. So when the Black Lives Matters, you know, movement happened, I made a concerted effort of following the founders of that movement and more black women in my feed because I was like, I need to understand this perspective. I have, yes, I have the Hispanic perspective, but I don't have the black perspective. And I give them so much credit. And I say all the time, I'm like, black women are probably the women who inspire most because they are at the bottom of the totem pole in the American system. And yet they have used their voice and their bodies and their, you know, have completely just been disregarded. You think about the Black Lives Matter founders are the ones that have been saying abolish ICE literally for years. And I said that to my husband the other day. I was like, my gosh, we have to give these women the credit that they've been saying this. And yet nobody listens to them and how frustrating and how heartbreaking and how horrific that must be for them. Because they've been living in this state as black women and black people for so long. So I think that the challenge to ourselves to follow other people who don't live the lives that we live is so important. I have made an effort of following trans brothers and sisters to understand what they go through. And I had a conversation with a friend of mine who considers herself more conservative. And I was standing up for what the rights of trans people are and how important it is for them to be able to self-identify. And this, you know, all these things that I've learned from watching trans people talk about what it's like to be an ally. And she's like, what makes you like this? Like, how did you get like this? And it's intrinsic that it's like I'm an empathetic person. I'm hyper aware of what other people are going through. But I realized I was like, what makes me like this is I've seen their lives. I've I've connected with the struggles that they're having and the pain and the suffering that is so unnecessary that our government is. inflicting upon them. And so I just think, you know, when we all came together on, on Sunday, it was a sigh of relief because we saw one another as, Oh, you care to thank God, because I think you start to feel alone. I think that's, I think that's really what prompted South Bay to take a stand. I felt very alone. I felt very alone in the pain that I was feeling. And I didn't think that that was right. You know, and I felt like I knew people who were also feeling that pain, but there was no visible place for us to demonstrate that within these communities. Yeah. Tanya, how do you feel about also, I love what you said, Louisa, because this, like the trans community, I've had trans people on the podcast, I like to get them a platform and the parents of trans children as well, because I think that they have been so under attack because they've been, there's such a small population of people and they had to find in Donald Trump and his administration had to find a scapegoat. And what at the core of racism, if you understand bigotry and racism is not understanding somebody, another person living or working with somebody that you don't understand. And that's part of how we, we learn as adults. I mean, I was an I grew up in a everyone had was white where I grew up and had a Volvo, you know, so when I left, I always felt like, I don't really belong here. I want to be somewhere else where there's more people that are different and artistic and all the things. And here I am back in the South Bay, which is predominantly a white affluent community. But the most important thing about this and what you said is educating yourself, is that you educated yourself. And listeners, if you're listening to this, you know, and I've noticed on our Instagram, sometimes people attack us and they say, and I'm on it all the time because I'm always looking, But somebody will be like, you're a bunch of white women that live in a rich city. What do you know what you're talking about? Well, that's a great point. And I don't blame you for being angry. Because if you are a woman of color, like you just brought up the black women, they tried so hard for us. I was on those calls. I was on Glennon and Abby's call that they did for Kamala. And I think they've just like, you know, they're so sad because they worked so hard to get her elected and it didn't happen. So what you just said really struck me. It's our obligation as human beings. And if we're ever going to change the cycle of what is happening right now is go sit with somebody that's different than you go, go learn something about somebody. And I'll tell you one thing. And that's part of why I do this podcast. It is technically a mental health podcast is that I will forever use my platform for people of all different sexualities, colors. And that's why I do this because it's important and it's what I believe in. And I know it's what you both believe in. So Tanya, you want to say something about that too? Yeah, I think just going off of what Louisa was saying too, I think, you know, what she's saying, there's, there's a huge thing right now, especially that coming out after COVID and it's just this connectedness, right? And I think people are starting to lose connections with like who they are, what things are, it's us against them. And I think that was the beauty is exactly that Sunday, there was this connectedness that I think everyone felt. And when, you know, that day, and I can't even, I mean, I've told both of you, but I have literally, I've been out on the strand every day going for a walk since complete strangers, complete. I've never met them before coming up to me. Oh my gosh, were you, did you help organize? That was so amazing. Like this morning, surfers getting out of the ocean, you know, we're like, wait, oh my God, that was so amazing. It is so uplifting. Um, and I think that's what I wanted. The takeaway is like, there's so much fear right now in our country. Um, that's what they want. Oh, we're too scared. We're too scared to go to a protest. We're too scared to say anything. We're too scared. I mean, same thing. Like all of us have used our platform. I mean, I've lost, I don't even care. I don't even want to know how many followers I've lost. I don't care. It is, this is way too important. And I think, you know, like what I said when I was up there on the lifeguard tower was like what my husband said, um, you were around, I think you were there, Megan, when, um, and Nina was there at the Brad's corner at the Brad's corner protest and different protest listeners in this area, but they do it every Saturday. Yeah. Yeah. Um, at the Manhattan village, it's really amazing. Um, and he's, you know, he is confined to a wheelchair and he comes and he's got ALS. He's an incredible individual. Um, and he was there also on at our, at our March. But anyways, you know, Liam was my husband because we're just talking about the fear of the fear. And Liam was like, yeah, but you know, yes, fear is contagious, but so is bravery. And that was my takeaway from Sunday is that people came, they weren't scared. They came and then look at what happened. There was not one instance of anything to be scared about. It was people are smiling. People are loving. People are hugging. People are playing music. People are dancing. Everyone's cheering. Everyone's got a smile on their face. Like that's when you know you're on the right side. No one's angry. No one's yelling profanity. No one's putting people down. Like it was just the most beautiful day. And honestly, I would love to get a head count, but people are saying from 7,000 to 15,000 came that day. So I would love to know what that number is. And it, and it, and it just, the part of that too, about what you just said is it's growing, it's growing. So we, from our first March, which was like a couple thousand or however many to this, it's, I couldn't believe it. Like both of you, I mean, it was such a beautiful, there was one heckler we had won and it was this old fat white man on a bike giving us the middle finger. And if anything, we all just laughed. And we were like, if you watch Handmaid's Tale, we were all like, blessed day. Right? You weren't there, Louisa, we couldn't find you. But like this one guy, we were all like, everyone was just like laughing. And yeah, he was just like on his bike, like with a middle finger. And that like you just said was, that's what I think my soul needed. I talked to a friend of mine, who's one of my best friends, and she called me upset. And she said, I'm so sorry. I didn't come. I was scared. I was scared to come. And she admitted it to me and she started to cry, which of course made me cry. And I said to my friend, I'm not mad at you. I'm proud of you that you're admitting this, but guess what? I can tell you, this just means you come to the next one or you do something else that matters. And slowly, I think what we're learning is that people are starting to go, wait a second, this isn't adding up. Like I'm, I think I would love to take a quick turn for the sake of time into the Epstein files and, and the children piece of it, which is something we were talking about this morning. If we did another, um, another March soon is what, like, if you really think about this listeners why are they trying to meddle with the the boxes from the 2020 election why did they send the FBI why are people put in certain positions Like really honestly have educated educated factual fact conversations with people and ask them questions in a nice way. Like not like attacking them at Thanksgiving where somebody ends up crying and doors are being slammed. That might happen at my house, but I think there's a lot of people that can relate to that. ask questions. And if they don't want to be open to talking about it, because they've really believed their own narrative for this long, it's got to be heartbreaking for people, because people that really believed that he was in it for the right reasons, like say, say you voted for Trump because of the economy, okay, like a lot of people did. And they thought, well, he's, he's so smart. He's this business person, he knows what he's doing. Say you that was your reason. It's never too late to change your mind. And that's the beauty of being and educating yourself as a human being. We're all here for a very, very short period of time. What are we leaving our kids? We're leaving them hate speech, like being able to say to somebody, you look different than me. Ice is coming to get you. You want your kids to do that. We're leaving them, um, we're leaving them a horrific environment where, I mean, there's so many things that you just have to talk through. And I don't think, I know in my heart that there's a lot of Trump supporters. I have to believe that, including people in my own family that are good people, but they've been lied to. And I think that they believe the narrative because they don't want to admit differently. You take, you say what you will about what I just said. Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, I, yeah, it's, it's, it is really hard to say I'm wrong. Right. I think it is extremely hard, especially when what we're seeing is so horrific. Like, I think that's the, that's part of it too. And I think, you know, I think about you talking about SNL skit. Yeah. It does make you be like, hello. Like we have been screaming this from the rooftops. That's the part to me that it's like, I still remember when the leaked audio of him came out saying, you can grab him by the pussy. And I was like, thank God, like game over. Like my God, with the relief that I felt of like, this is it. And then the horror of him still getting elected and having conversations with family members who still were standing by him, you know, and feeling like, I don't, I just cannot understand how the sexual assault of women is not a deal breaker for you for the president of the United States. Like that is to me an attack on myself as a woman. It's an attack on my, on my daughter. Um, and it shouldn't have to be a relational thing. It should just be a human, human thing to know that that's not okay. I think now what we're seeing in the conversation we're having this morning, cause my, my mind is turning right of like, Oh, I'm seeing more women who have not been outspoken about the immigration injustices and illegalities that we're seeing. I'm seeing them talk about the Epstein files and the injustices and the horrific illegality of what was happening there. And so my thought is at the end of the day, this is about justice for children, right? Whether you're coming at it from little children should not be locked up within inhumane circumstances because their families have come here trying to live a better life, which is not illegal in any way. And if anything is a civil offense, right? Versus the felony of abusing little tiny children. And these moms, I can see, they see their daughters in these girls, right? They're seeing pictures and they see it. So again, we're human. Our humanity unfortunately blinds us to be like, if I don't see myself in it, then I don't think it's in my issue. And now I think you see it from both sides. You see, you see the side of young children being locked up that are brown that I feel so compelled to in the same way that when I see these pictures of the young girls, I feel so compelled to. And suddenly it's at the end of the day is about accountability of these men that have created so much trauma, physical and emotional, because that's the part too, that I keep saying that these children who are in these concentration camps, we can release them tomorrow, which God willing, I hope happens. Like, may all these families be released. However, the emotional trauma that they will carry for the rest of their lives is irreversible. And the trauma that these young girls have had to sustain and have had to live with and the fact that their names got leaked versus the perpetrators is just a whole nother level of abuse. And I think about what was his name, Brock Turner, and the fact that, again, over and over again, women are told that us being abused and sexually assaulted is not a deal breaker for anything, not even being the president of the United States. So I said to my mom, I was like, I feel like we've gone backwards a hundred years as women. And it's terrifying. It is absolutely, I love being a woman. I love being a Latina woman. I would come back as a Latina a million times over, But the amount of abuse that we have to sustain because people don't outspokenly say very horrific things are not OK. The tolerance for that, I hope my God, is going away because I think we're all exhausted by it. I'm exhausted by it. Tanya, I have a question. So you interviewed Lisa Phillips for South Bay magazine. and so you happen to know a victim, right? And there's so many of them. So how does this kind of hit what's going on recently? Can you talk about that? Yeah. I mean, Lisa, Lisa, again, I mean, I know it's an overused term, but I just find her so inspiring. She's so strong and eloquent. And, you know, she, she also has her own podcast where basically her platform is interviewing survivors and it's called, um, from now on, is that what it's called? Um, I think so. If it's not her name, you can listeners, you can look up Lisa Phillips. She's been one of the victims that's been all over the news and she was on Washington. Uh, when they, yeah, she went to DC several times. So go ahead. Sorry. Yeah. And she was just recently on CNN as well. Um, you know, she's, she's been all over the news and, um, yeah, she has been an incredible voice and I'm very open about her, her journey and the way she was treated, even within her own family. Like, again, it's just, you know, survivors, it's talk about trauma. Um, you know, for some reason, survivors and, you know, I'm, I've, I've made this known. I'm, I'm now comfortable speaking about, but I'm, you know, I'm a survivor as well from childhood sexual abuse. And so like, I, I had to go through a lot of therapy as well. Um, but you carry this shame and this guilt, even though you're an innocent victim. I was like six years old. Like I, you know, I'm an innocent child yet somehow you carry this guilt, like you are dirty, you are, you must have done something to bring this on yourself. And I think the only silver lining of these Epstein files coming about and that, and this movement is uniting again, uniting all of these women who felt incredibly alone in their suffering and their trauma. And they're, they've taken on this fight and all of them are, I mean, you listen to them speak. They are like intelligent, strong, like beautiful women, but their whole lives have been ruined by these men. And the fact that they were promised to be released and no one's done it yet. Like I will never understand. That's what I'm saying. I do not understand what's going on in this country. I don't understand how no one is accountable yet. I don't understand why it's not released. It is just disgusting. And it's so- What has been released? There have been things released and there's still like there's four. Donald Trump's name was mentioned 4,500 times. It's just that's not that's that's not justice and that's not being forthright. And I again, there is just a lot of corruption. And I mean, I hope we'll see that for all of these women and for all of us. I don't care if they're Republicans or Democrats in there. Like, again, I hate this political speech. you know, like what you were saying to like, Oh no, we're not political. We're, we're humanists. We're just like, we're seeing a lot of like horrible things happening and we're speaking up. I'm not a political person. I wouldn't say I'm quote unquote political. I just don't like what I'm seeing. And I, I'm sorry, across the board, children are innocent. I don't care where you come from. If you're a parent, I'm not going to say mother. If you are a parent, you should understand that. I will never understand. And I feel like it is a huge embarrassment. It is disgusting that we have innocent children in camps right now that are not even being cared for and being sexually abused, by the way. Like this is, historians are going to literally have a heyday understanding how we got to this point. And I have no idea how this happened. Just don't. Well, it's it's be again, it's really thinking about this and being on the right side of history. And I'm not saying everyone that knows me knows I'm a pain in the ass. I'm no saint. I'm absolutely no saint. Ask my husband, ask people that don't like me. There's a lot of them. But I know in my gut and my heart that I care and that I want to be I want to teach my kids what's right and what's wrong. And I know the three of us all think we want our children to see one day. I hope my two daughters, like say my mom was a giant pain, but she did something that made a difference, which was doing like starting South Bay takes a stand and us knowing that we did, we were on the right side of history for the sake of time really quickly. Cause I could talk about this all day long. Please, listeners, read, listen, follow independent journalists. Louisa brought up, follow somebody different than you. Reach out to somebody. Reach out. People are so like I struggle with my mental health so much right now. I'm more it's I'm having a hard, hard time. I'm having a hard time. And I've said it on the past couple episodes that I'm really struggling. I will tell you that Sunday gave me a glimmer of hope. because I've found myself really, really spiraling lately. Just read, talk to people, have human connection. It's really important right now. It's really, really important for us to stick together. For the sake of time, Louisa, I want people to know what you're doing and where they can find you. And then I'm going to follow up with Tanya. Thank you so much, Megan. Yeah. And the only build I have to that is use your privilege, right? That is what we need right now. We are in this position right now because people who have had privilege have not used it to speak out. Everybody who's in Congress has privilege. Everybody who's in homes in D.C. that has the ability and the proximity to these things that hasn't said anything. That's what we need. We need brave people to do that. and you know I have the Rep Collective is something that I've dreamt up over the last 10 years and it's really about bringing women together because I think on all the topics that we talked about we have it really hard like there is a lot going against us telling us you can't have the dreams that you want you have to do things a certain way you have to follow this playbook that predominantly is a male playbook and you think about you know myself as a mother of young children in corporate America, it is incredibly difficult. And we're seeing entrepreneurs come out, especially from women. I think the stat is like women are creating new businesses at two times the rate of men. Minority women are creating new businesses at like 4.5 times the rate of men. And that to me is so incredibly both inspiring, but it's also disheartening because what I know is that the systems are not built for them and there is no other way for them to do it but that way. And so I've created the Rev Collective to really support entrepreneurial women. And as we talk about the South Bay, one of my biggest goals, and I know that this is going to be a challenge, is I want to find the minority women in the South Bay to bring them in. I'm really proud that our first cohort of members was 25 to 30% minority. And again, you can say that you're in white areas, But the reality is there is diversity. You just have to make space for it. And you have to vocally say, this is a place for you. Because when we had the launch event in November at Love and Salt, a local restaurant of one of my best friends, we had a black woman in there say, you know, so often I'm not invited into the room. And to be here amongst all these women is really special. And that's that is for me, everything to hear a woman of color say, I feel invited here and to feel women of every color feel like this is a place where I can come and I can be very honest and real about the challenges that we face as women, as mothers, as caregivers, as spouses, you know, as women going through mental health issues and perimenopause and everything that is ours while also building ventures and lives of their dreams. I love it. I love it. I love what you're doing. And P.S., you're pretty special. So I just want to say that. Tanya, can you tell people? Oh, also, where can you tell people where to find you? Louisa, I love that. So Instagram at the Rev Collective. And Rev is... It's R-E-V-E, right? Yes, R-E-V-E. It's French for... Yeah, I love it. Yes, it means dream in French. Okay. The Rev Collective, yes. Love it, love it. Okay, Tanya, take it away. Take it away. Okay. Well, actually this is all very timely because I, um, I'm actually making a little move into the podcast world, which Megan's been, um, and really it's because I just have found the past couple of years, like I'm just absolutely fatigued by like my Instagram feed of, you know, fashion. I don't know. It just, I'm just reached a point where I, I have become a storyteller and, um, you know, it's, it's mainly like my written word, but like my true love is like connecting with people like this, you know? And, um, although I love writing, it's just an extra amount of work that I have to do, which I find quite draining and time consuming. So I just kind of, um, you know, I shot my first, uh, episode already with Jen Levy. Um, so the first one's going to be kind of like a, who's the mother of Ron Levy. He got killed by who's been on yeah my listeners Jen Levy yeah they've listened to that episode but go ahead sorry no no so um she will be my my first episode which is kind of heavy but it was just I wrote a feature on her and I just was like you know I would like to have the actual visual connection as part of like my storytelling and my connection because that really is like when I kind of got I went out of America and took a hiatus off social media and my phone and everything. And I really asked myself, like, what is it that I love? And for me, it's this. It's like human connection. So I'm just going to be introducing storytelling in a different forum. And so I'm really excited. So that'll be. And when is when is it launching? This month. This month. OK, so listeners, I'm going to have all of this in the notes. So I want you to follow these two. Where can people find you? What's your Instagram? So my Instagram is Tanya, T-A-N-Y-A dot Monahan, M-O-N-A-G-H-A-N. That's my Instagram feed, but I will be launching. My podcast is called Word, Word, period, by Tanya Monahan. And that will be launched. Okay. I'm so excited. And I love, I love the collaboration piece of this, guys. But in closing, I know that Louisa has to get back to work. Please, please talk to people, like communicate the human connection. like I talked about is more important now than it's ever been. You have to ask questions, talk to people. It's not you can it's never too late to change somebody's mind, or but just don't villainize them. And if you're listening in a different part of the world, thank you for listening. Please don't think our country has lost all of its marbles because there's a lot of us out here that are trying. We're really, really trying. And there's really great people in the United States of America that actually truly, truly care about where we stand in history. So if you have a second listeners, please leave me a quick review only if it's good. If you're going to leave me a bad one, please don't. I hope the man with the middle finger on the bike is not listening to this podcast. In closing, thank you guys. You're beautiful. I love you. I'm so grateful. There's a reason there's signs. There's a reason I found that quote today in the drawer. Keep going. You matter. Your story matters. Judging Megan with Megan Judge.